An Imperfect Life
by Gracie Becker
Summary: Book Five in the ongoing story about Owen and Amelia raising their family. Amelia and Owen are present in the story for sure, but all of the characters in the family figure prominently too. If you're looking for a pure Omelia Fic, this isn't it.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **An Imperfect Life - Flashbacks**

 **Nolan, 21, last year of college – earning his Master's in Accounting**

 **Lissa, 21, Junior in college earning a BA in Elementary Education**

 **Ryder, 17, Junior in high school**

 **Olivia, 14, 8** **th** **grade**

 **Annabelle and Victoria, 9, 3** **rd** **grade**

 **Lucas, 7½, 1** **st** **grade**

 **Monday, January 8** **th** **– three years after A Pivotal Year**

"Daddy? Can you help me with my homework?" Olivia begged after dinner.

"Sure, what's the assignment?" Owen agreed, as his heart filled with joy. He loved that Olivia still called him 'Daddy' and hoped she never stopped.

"We've been studying autobiographies," Olivia explained. "Different people read different books and then we told each other about them. I read one about Marie Curie. She was a scientist even though they wouldn't let her go to the University of Warsaw because she was a girl. Her husband, Pierre, was a scientist too. Kind of like how you and Mom are both doctors. Do you know about her?"

"I do. I'm impressed with all the details you just shared. Great job, Liv," Owen praised.

"Daddy…" she whispered so the littles would not hear her, "It's not like I'm still a baby who can only remember a little bit."

Owen nodded as if noting her point. "What's the homework? Are we making a poster, writing a report, or what?"

"We are going to write our own autobiographies over the rest of the school year. The first step is due tomorrow - we're supposed to make a timeline that shows the big events in our lives," Olivia explained.

Pausing briefly, Owen considered how to help Olivia frame the tragic events of her life. He began, "You were born in Victoria, Canada. That's a great place to start."

"I was wondering, since my first daddy died before I was born, should he be on my outline before I was born even though that happened before my life began? 'Cause the story is about my life, but he died before my life started. If I don't list him, that doesn't work because I wouldn't be here without him, right? It's confusing," Olivia fretted, more concerned about completing her report correctly than dwelling on her bio father's death.

"Excellent question," Owen pointed out. "Check with your teacher for sure. I think I'd list your dad first."

"This dot," Olivia decided, "will be the first one and it's for the day my first daddy died. What was the date?"

Owen froze, "Umm… I'm not sure, Liv. We could find out, though. I don't remember the date."

With a sigh, Olivia continued, "For now, I'll put a question mark. The next event was my birth, right?"

"Sounds like a solid plan," Owen nodded.

"Then my bio mommy died in a car accident," she noted. "I was four, wasn't I?"

"Four," Owen confirmed. "Do you want to have anything between your birth and Kayla's death?"

"Ummm… I can't remember anything. Maybe I can interview Nolan later, and he can think of something," Olivia pondered. "After the car accident," Olivia smiled widely, "You and Mom adopted us big kids and we moved to Seattle. There's a lot of dots in this section because then Ria had her big surgery while Mom was pregnant with her, Mom kind of lived in the hospital until the twins were born, you went away in the Army, and Mom had Lucas on the 4th of July. Somewhere during all that, I went to St. Frances for one day and then to Montessori."

"You remember all that?" Owen sought to confirm with an impressed grin.

Olivia responded with confusion, "Of course I remember all that. I remember when you were gone and we would play hot lava with the couch cushions. I also remember that you were hurt when you came back. You and Ria both had walkers," Olivia giggled as she recalled the memory.

"Your memory is better than mine, Livs. I'm not sure I'm helping much," Owen confessed.

Grasping his hand, Olivia glanced up at him with her round, blue eyes and softly encouraged, "Stay. It helps to do this with you."

Owen agreed and the two brainstormed other noteworthy events: starring in The Nutcracker, camping out with the Shepherds, and learning how to read and write. As the timeline continued, Olivia filled in a dot representing Nolan and Lissa's wedding date. She smiled as she recalled details of that day, "Lissa looked magical, and I liked when Nolan picked her up to kiss her."

Then she slowly set her pencil down and admitted, "Sometimes, I wish we could erase sad memories. I don't want to write about when Nolan and Lissa's baby died or about the giant car accident."

"It still hurts to remember, doesn't it? I'll never forget Karina," Owen sighed as he placed his arm around Olivia's shoulders and squeezed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

"Larissa! Come on. I'm leaving in two minutes," Nolan barked impatiently from the kitchen of the Little House.

"I'll walk then," she responded with a hint of hostility from the bathroom where she was primping.

Nolan stomped to the bedroom and opened the unlocked door. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, he commanded with utter seriousness, "No, you won't."

Turning to her husband, Lissa snapped, "Don't tell me what to do, Nolan."

"Don't argue with me, Larissa," he insisted.

Now at the end of her junior year of college, Lissa was balancing student teaching and attending college classes. When she had begun assisting in classrooms her freshman year, the team of supervising teachers consistently noted that Lissa constantly leaned upon the authority of the classroom teacher and preferred to serve as second in command. In order to succeed as a teacher, though, Lissa would need to learn how to stand on her own two feet. Her skills were stellar, her knowledge base was solid, her passion for the vocation was clear, and her presence was inspiring. Her mentors knew that once Lissa discovered and embodied an ability to be assertive when necessary, Lissa's teaching career would be off to a solid start.

Over the years, like her fellow students, Lissa assisted in various grades and classrooms. Each teacher in those settings supported Lissa's journey. They helped her develop a sense of authority and an ability to manage a classroom effectively. At first, the changes were so subtle that nobody, including Lissa, noticed the small ways Lissa had learned to self-advocate and consider her own needs.

As time unfolded, however, the changes in how Lissa carried herself had followed her outside the classroom and begun affecting her marriage. Nolan had grown increasingly befuddled and discouraged with some of the changes. His natural leadership tendencies had always been a strength in their relationship. Nolan had never been a controlling husband; yet, he found himself wondering how he could lead their home and lives as his assumptions and decisions faced challenge or resistance.

As Lissa became more aware that she had her own preferences and opinions, the couple faced increased tension. The misunderstandings that were easily negotiated in the early days of their marriage turned into heated discussions and arguments. As Nolan stood in the doorway that morning, he wondered how conflictual the conversation would become.

Determined to win the staring contest, he barked, "You're _not_ walking – you saw the news last night, Larissa. There was a huge drug bust up the street last weekend and there's been a rash of burglaries around here lately. It's not safe for you to walk alone. I won't let you take that chance."

"Then wait for me. I'd be done if you weren't hassling me," Lissa argued, holding back commentary on Nolan's choice of words about what he wouldn't allow.

"Highly unlikely," Nolan countered as he raised his eyebrows, folded his arms, and leaned against the door frame watching her.

"I'm not doing this, Nolan," Lissa declared flatly.

"What? Doing what?" he sarcastically responded.

As she leaned close to the mirror to finish her lipstick, she contended, "Fighting. Arguing. Life's too short." She stood up and navigated around her husband, grabbed her bag, and gazed at him impatiently. "Let's go then."

Even in the heights of his anger, Nolan couldn't stop being Nolan. He placed his hand gently on the small of her back as they walked to the car, and he opened Lissa's door for her. He abruptly pulled out of the driveway and steered the Jeep toward St. Mary's, nagging, "Remember to talk to your advisor about next year's placement. If I'm going to be driving into the city every day for work, I won't be able to drive you to your student teaching assignment. Since you'll be driving alone, you'll need a safe location."

Lissa rolled her eyes and exhaled audibly. She had no intention to ask the school for special treatment – every young woman in her class could bring up the same concern. However, as she'd said minutes prior, she was not willing to begin her day with an argument. When Nolan turned into a mother hen, she wanted to throttle him. What was once charming when they were young teens was now aggravating.

Not having heard a response, Nolan kindly confirmed with the best of intentions, "You know what I mean, Shorty?"

Unable to stay silent, she challenged, "What's in it for you, Nolan? What do you gain by keeping me in a helpless state, dependent on you for my safety?"

"Oh for F #!s sake, Larissa," Nolan fumed as he slammed his hands off and back on the steering wheel. "Stop twisting my words and intentions into some demented, ego-driven, unmet need. I love you and care about you."

She frowned at him, aware that the timing of their words couldn't be worse. They were almost at St. Mary's. Neither said a word to the other until he stopped at the drop off spot.

As she began to exit the car, Nolan reached out his hand and tried to rub her lower arm. He tenderly declared, "I love you, Mrs. Tremblay-Hunt."

"6 o'clock?" she inquired, seeking to confirm when he'd pick her up that evening.

"Yeah, I'll text if that changes," he promised before repeating, "Love you."

She stared through the window of the Jeep's door before turning away and walking to class.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

A few days later, Owen sat at his desk reviewing the timeline for the ER overhaul and remodel. In the midst of calculating when to ensure new MRIs and CAT scanners were on order and finding a vendor for the portable x-ray machines, he'd begun doodling on his desk pad. When he'd come to the layout for the new pediatric ER, he spotted a note about preterm births written in the margins. Some pregnancy-related emergencies would be able to be initially managed in the ER while others would be sent directly and immediately to Labor and Delivery.

A group of doctors reasoned that any pregnancy up to 16 weeks gestation or after 33 weeks could begin to be handled downstairs. The sterile and scientific reasoning was that any birth up to 16 weeks was a definite miscarriage without the possibility of saving the baby. Given fetal viability statistics, women in labor at that stage of pregnancy did not need to be evaluated by OB as urgently as those between 17-32 weeks did. Mag sulfate and other anti-labor medications could be administered anywhere, and starting in the ER made more sense than crowding Labor and Delivery. Any laboring mom past 33 weeks had a smaller risk for complications. The committee determined that having the Pediatric ER screen those situations allowed trauma specialists to be integrated into any case from the beginning. Owen still had mixed feelings about the new protocol, but he agreed to a trial run after multiple meetings and discussions.

Sixteen weeks. The tiny, barely legible number jumped out at him from the architect's print outs even though it was written in pencil. Like a neon sign, the number 16 caught and held his attention. Lissa had been sixteen weeks along when Owen and Amelia's first and only grandchild had been born. Memories of Karina's birth and death seldom overwhelmed Owen anymore, so the heaviness in his gut surprised him.

Try as he might, Owen couldn't break away from the flashbacks and memories of that distressing day. His chest tightened as he recalled Nolan's young hand holding the baby that fit perfectly from fingertip to wrist. His heart rushed as he felt devastation upon seeing Lissa's terrified face. He shuddered as the familiar sharp chill ran up his spine and heated up when it reached his neck. Knowing that a full blown flashback was nearing, Owen berated himself for not calling Amelia the second the number 16 began to haunt him. At this point, he wasn't sure he could manage to dial her pager number, and he wasn't about to let Patricia know he was falling apart again.

His body shivered with chills as sweat dripped from his head and shoulders. With great effort, he attempted to focus on his breathing. Standing up, Owen challenged himself to rise above the chaos of his haunting memories that now flashed rapidly in his mind, one after the other. Almost stumbling, he caught himself on the edge of his desk. His trembling hand pressed the speaker button and then the speed dial for Amelia's cell. When the moment came to enter his number, his shaking finger pressed 9 – 9 – 9 before moving to 1. Unable to rest the receiver on the phone properly, Owen yanked the phone cord out of the wall as he slumped onto the floor and began sobbing.

Meanwhile, at the Neuro Nurses' Station, Amelia was joking with a couple nurses who, like her, were raising teenagers.

With a deep belly laugh, she shared, "Oh… and watching Owen fret over his little girl and her emotional ups and downs. The poor, poor man. I swear the Daddy – Daughter relationship is the toughest to navigate."

"I couldn't agree more," one nurse affirmed. Amelia's pager sounded, which confused her. The only department that needed her today was the one in which she was standing.

The other nurse, having heard the page, inquired, "Who would be paging you, Dr. Shepherd? The other Dr. Shepherd is covering the ER."

Amelia looked down and read aloud, "9 – 9 – 9 – 1?" She furrowed her brow and shifted her lips toward one cheek as she attempted to sort out the cryptic message. "Can you dial 00 and hand me the phone, Shirley?" Double zero was the main switchboard. Perhaps they'd have some way of tracing the page.

"Hello, this is Dr. Amelia Shepherd, Neuro. I just received a strange page to 9-9-9-1. Is there any chance you're able to trace it or help me figure out who sent it?"

As Amelia's call was put on hold, she and the nurses resumed their conversation. "Tell me your best teenage boy story since last time we talked, Jen," Amelia begged.

Shaking her head, Jen responded, "He's up to the same antics. I wish I had something new to share. Coming home late, not doing homework, harassing his little sister. Nothing even mildly entertaining."

"Thank you," Amelia said to the operator as she threw Shirley the receiver and called out, "Page Derek if you need a doc in the next 45 minutes." Running down the hall and directly down the stairs, Amelia reached Owen's office in record time. She used her key to enter the room and spotted him curled up in a ball at the side of his desk. Owen was screaming into a pillow he had grabbed from his couch.

Tentatively approaching him and lightly touching his shoulder, Amelia stated clearly, "Owen… Owen… hey, I'm here. It's just you and me." Without looking up, Owen grabbed hold of her hand as he continued to sob and hyperventilate.

"Shh… shhh… shhh, ride it out, Owen. I'm right here. Ride it out," Amelia encouraged as she rubbed his back with her free hand. In these moments, she consistently found herself thinking about sitting with Lucas as he threw up – the calming words, the curly red hair, and her boy's inability to speak amidst the suffering mirrored the present situation.

Shuffling into a seated position next to Amelia, Owen leaned into her tiny body and arms as he continued to panic. He attempted to talk, but she could not understand his words. "Shh… no hurry. You don't need to explain, Owen."

She rocked back and forth and her actions soothed him. They had been through this before. She knew what helped and what made it worse. Without a doubt, she'd learned to approach him slowly when she first arrived; often, he wouldn't hear her and could be skittish when surprised. Certain phrases seemed to calm him. Rubbing his back slowed his breathing. She also knew that he seldom wanted to debrief with her once the attack had passed. Over time, Amelia learned to be content with not always knowing why he had melted down.

As she leaned from side to side, she let her mind wander. _It's been so long since this has happened. What set him off? Three years have passed since_ _that_ _year – the year life turned upside down, the year the twins began Kindergarten, the year Nolan and Lissa were married… the year Karina died. The year when his PTSD resurfaced after the horrific car accident that summer. Three years._

 _It's been at least a year since he's fallen apart like this, hasn't it? I can't remember the last time. He's worked so hard to overcome this crap. I've been fooling myself thinking we were past this._

Sniffling and wiping tears from his eyes, Owen cleared his throat and offered, "Thanks, Mia."

Now sitting side by side with their backs against the bookcase, Amelia squeezed Owen's hand. Over the years, another insight had hard-wired itself into her brain: speak little at first and follow his lead.

"I… I just… the chill up the spine, the rock in my gut… it overtook me," Owen explained as he shook his head with a small degree of shock. His break downs seemed to consistently surprise him. To Owen, they overtook him like a broken dam whose unstoppable waters rushed forth violently. For Amelia, the subtleties that attempted to warn Owen of the escalating burst of emotion were more obvious.

"Ok. It's OK," Amelia soothed as she rubbed her thumb along his hand. Now was not the time for her to offer her neuro-analysis.

"I was sitting here reviewing the Pediatric ER layout," he began as he stood and helped her stand. He walked over to his desk chair, sat down and brought her down on his lap before continuing. "Then I saw it. Sixteen. A stupid number written in pencil."

"But to you, it's not just some stupid number," Amelia pointed out.

Owen grimaced, "I know. Believe me, I know. I never thought I'd _hate_ a number."

"It makes sense," Amelia reassured him. "Losing Karina at 16 weeks, trying to deal with the accident and the 16…"

"Stop…" Owen ordered firmly but respectfully. "Please, Mia, stop. I don't need to run through the Litany of 16s."

"I'm sorry," Amelia confessed as she leaned her head back on his shoulder. "How can I help best? What do you need?"

Softly, he mumbled, "You, right where you are. Just let me hold you, Mia. Remind me it gets better."


	2. Chapter 2 - The Joys of Parenting

**Chapter 2**

 **An Imperfect Life – The Joys of Parenting**

 **Nolan, 21, last year of college – earning his Master's in Accounting**

 **Lissa, 21, Junior in college earning a BA in Elementary Education**

 **Ryder, 17, Junior in high school**

 **Olivia, 14, 8** **th** **grade**

 **Annabelle and Victoria, 9, 3** **rd** **grade**

 **Lucas, 7½, 1** **st** **grade**

 **January 11** **th** **\- 12** **th**

Deciding to hold Lucas back and be one of the oldest in his class had been an ideal move. Rather than having him begin Kindergarten when the twins began 1st grade, Amelia and Owen had him attend pre-K for another year. He entered Kindergarten shortly after turning six and was thriving.

Publicly, Amelia asserted that they'd done so after assessing statistics and research. Truth be told, deep down, Amelia relished the opportunity to slow down her baby's eventual shift into adulthood. One of the benefits of holding Lucas back was that his maturity level matched his grade more than his age. Halfway through 1st grade, he still loved to snuggle and play pretend.

"Mama?" Lucas shuffled in sleepily wearing footy PJs and holding his puppy blankie.

Owen opened one eye and noted that the clock read 5:00 am. He growled quietly and bumped Amelia's leg with his foot. When she didn't stir, Owen pushed her leg more firmly.

Between Owen's foot and Lucas pulling on her nightshirt, Amelia awoke. With a groggy voice, she reached out and ran her hand over Lucas' curls, "Baby, it's still sleeping time."

With just a hint of feigned sadness, Lucas explained, "I had a bad dream. Can I sleep…"

Owen interrupted abruptly and firmly, "No."

Standing beside his mommy, hoping she'd overrule Daddy, Lucas sniffled and asked quietly, "Mama?"

"You heard me, Lucas," Owen grumbled. "Go back to bed."

"I'm asking Mommy," Lucas whined with stubborn undertones.

Sleepily, Amelia mumbled, "Go back to bed, Monkey."

"But…" Lucas persisted, knowing the routine worked without fail when Owen was working overnight at the hospital.

"One…" Owen began. When Lucas pouted at Amelia's side, Owen continued, "Two…"

Lucas, overly tired and desperate for his mommy, began stomping his feet in place and weeping. Owen hopped out of bed, frustrated that Amelia wasn't moving or helping. He picked Lucas up without saying a word, and carried the now crying boy down the hall.

The girls hadn't awoken, but, in his own bed, Ryder threw a pillow over his head to block the sound.

Placing Lucas in his bed, Owen displayed his best Angry Daddy face and insisted, "Lie down and sleep."

"I hate you forever," Lucas called out after throwing the comforter over his head.

"I don't like your words, but I do love you, Lucas," Owen groaned as he left the room.

Lucas argued, "I don't like your words and I don't like you."

Just as Owen was falling back to sleep, he heard pattering feet outside the bedroom doors. While trying to determine what might be unfolding, Owen dozed off. Seconds later, Ryder balked, "Get out of my room, Squirt!"

Lucas' whining words could not be discerned, but it was obvious that he was attempting to state his case.

"Your turn," Owen grumbled as he nudged Amelia.

"I worked until 2 am," she protested.

"I'm working a 36 hour shift starting at 8," Owen reminded her.

Amelia threw on a robe and trudged down the hall, discovering Ryder and Lucas in a full-fledged fight. Ryder had Lucas pinned and Lucas was preparing to spit in his brother's face. "Stop. Now," Amelia declared at the door.

"Mom, he came in here and woke me up. How many reasons do I need to give you to convince you I should have a locking door?" Ryder moaned.

With her eyes barely open, Amelia yawned and approached Lucas. She grasped his hand firmly and pulled him toward the hall. Lucas screamed out, purporting that Amelia was hurting him.

As she put him back in bed, Amelia suggested, "Lucas, if you get out of bed again, you'll have to stay in your room after school." Crying dramatically and easily heard in the Master Bedroom, Lucas protested until he fell asleep.

"Haven't we lived through this stage already?" Owen groaned as Amelia returned to bed. He turned and wrapped his arm around her, kissing her shoulder and neck.

"Sometimes I think I'm having a flashback to when the older kids first moved in. The cycle keeps repeating itself with different kids in the old roles," Amelia pointed out.

Owen chuckled, "No more kids."

"Truth," Amelia confirmed as she wormed comfortably into his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Before the first bell of the morning, Ryder stood closely in front of Sally. His upper leg barely brushed against her skirt.

Sally, leaning against her locker, flirted and ogled, "Ryder, you always make me laugh."

"I'm not only an expert at that, I can make you feel all sorts of incredible sensations," he boasted as his hand rested on the locker just above Sally's shoulder.

Reaching out and stroking his tie, Sally whispered, "Promise?"

"Mmm Hmm," Ryder responded as he licked his lips, leaned down, and kissed her. When he felt a sharp tap on his shoulder and heard an adult clear her throat, Ryder pulled back and flashed a charm-filled smile. "Good Morning, Miss Kenner."

"Mr. Hunt, Miss Buckner…" Miss Kenner, a first year teacher who'd been in Nolan's class, sighed as she folded her arms and frowned.

"I'm looking forward to our discussion of Hamlet this afternoon, Ma'am," Ryder lied to his English teacher.

"Wonderful, perhaps you can review your notes during lunch detention," Miss Kenner suggested. As she handed each of them a detention slip, she smirked, "You both know better. PDA is not allowed in the hallways."

As Miss Kenner walked toward her classroom, Ryder chuckled and inquired, "What about during lunch detention?" Miss Kenner glanced over her shoulder, smiled, and shook her head.

"My dad's gonna have my ass," Sally groaned, overstating her father's potential reaction to her detention.

"Tell him I already called it. It's mine," Ryder winked as he dared to peck her on the cheek before heading to class.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

An hour later, in the area behind the Nurses' Station, Amelia slipped on to a computer to check her email. A colleague had promised to send her a copy of an article about microsurgery for gliomas in the paralimbic region. Amelia was eager to review the research and begin mapping out her options for an upcoming surgery.

The first email, from Lissa, sounded much like the other side of the second email, from Nolan. The tensions between them and Nolan's apparent need to parent Lissa were continuing to create challenges they both hoped Amelia would help solve. The third email, from a teacher at St. Frances, informed Amelia that Ryder had received a detention for PDA. The teacher, requesting a phone call, expressed concern about Ryder's ongoing pattern of behavior and how his previous detentions for the same infraction didn't seem to deter his behavior in the least.

As Amelia refreshed the screen, hoping for the one email she'd come to read, Owen approached from behind with a flirty hum. He grasped her shoulders and massaged them as he leaned in for a kiss, "Hi, Beautiful. What's up?"

Amelia peered up at her husband with a smirk, reporting, "Ryder's making out in the hallway again and the Tremblay-Hunts need a marriage counselor not named Mom."

"I need a marriage counselor," Owen teased as he briefly ran his hand onto Amelia's chest. "I have a lot of unresolved needs that are calling out for your attention. I need an emergency appointment. Any openings today?"

"You're nasty," Amelia whispered as she laughed and hit the refresh button again.

Owen chuckled and whispered back, "Because you love it."

"Yes!" a distracted Amelia exclaimed. She opened the email from her colleague and focused deeply on its attachment.

"What's more captivating than me?" Owen pouted as he slumped into a chair next to the Chief of Neurosurgery.

"A high-resolution CT and MRI," she answered without removing her gaze from the screen.

Laughing, Owen pointed out, "Yeah, talk to the board about those. Good luck."

Attempting to convince her husband that her dream was worth funding, Amelia pointed out, "Imagine what I could do with sharper demarcation of tumors and a more accurate sense of tumor size before cutting. Damn… this HRMRI can evaluate intracranial artery disease. Arteries, Owen! The new HRs can provide detailed internal views of arteries and their condition. Grey Sloan could become the key neuro center in the Pacific Northwest, Chief."

"At what cost, Dr. Shepherd?" Owen smirked.

"How many openings did you want to reserve this afternoon?" Amelia cackled.

Lowering his chin to his chest and raising his eyebrows, Owen inquired, "Are you bribing the Chief of Surgery to procure phenomenally expensive medical equipment in exchange for sex?"

With a playful shrug, Amelia bit her bottom lip before questioning, "Will it work?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

After school, Ryder dropped Lucas and Ria off at indoor soccer and set an alarm in his phone so he wouldn't forget to pick them up at 5:45pm. Knowing that his parents were working long shifts and that Lynne would be in Olympia until 8:00 pm at a dance event for Olivia and Anna, Ryder drove his red Mustang over to Sally's. He picked her up and headed to the Lake House.

Before long, their shirts were unbuttoned and their make out session on the sofa heated up. Ryder suggested they slip upstairs and Sally agreed without pause. Wasting no time, they ran to Ryder's room and stripped bare. Ryder joked that Sally was more of a workout than soccer practice. As she giggled, he put his finger to his lips and glanced toward his bedroom door.

"What?" Sally asked.

"I thought I just heard the garage door," Ryder shared quietly.

Sally shook her head and softly stated, "I didn't hear anything."

Pulling himself into a push up position then bending his arms down so he could kiss her, Ryder mumbled, "Stay right here." He jumped up from the bed and threw on a pair of sweats. Immediately realizing they wouldn't hide his current state, he tore them off and scrambled into a pair of jeans as Sally snickered.

Shirtless, Ry stepped into the hallway and walked to the portion that was open to the main floor. Owen was in the kitchen sorting through some mail. "Hey, Dad," Ryder stated as his heartrate increased. "I thought you were working late."

"Yeah," Owen shook his head before looking up at his son. "I am. I responded to a trauma in my dress shirt and, well…" He shrugged and looked upward. Gathering his eyebrows toward the bridge of his nose, he inquired, "Where's your shirt?"

"Oh… I… uh… I was playing with the dogs and Bogey was all muddy. Jumped all over me and caked my shirt," Ryder fumbled.

"I just saw the dogs. They're asleep in the garage and neither one is muddy," Owen stated factually without concluding anything.

"I gave him a bath," Ryder forced a laugh, "What a pain in the ass."

Owen headed toward the stairs. When he reached Ryder in the hallway, growing in confusion, he wondered aloud, "How'd your shirt get muddy but your jeans didn't?"

"I changed into another pair," Ryder fibbed.

"Before or after you gave Bogey a bath?" Owen questioned.

"Before… uh, no. Not before. I mean after…" Ryder chuckled nervously as he over-explained, "If I'd done it before, the jeans would be all wet. That wouldn't make any sense."

Tired and wondering if the blood could be removed from his shirt, Owen shook his head and walked by his son, mumbling, "Yeah… it wouldn't."

As Owen removed his shirt, he called out, "Where's everyone else?"

Ryder leaned in the doorway and explained the afternoon's arrangements. Peering around the corner, Owen nodded and then studied Ryder's torso from afar. He walked toward his son, who questioned, "What's wrong, Dad?"

"What the hell is that by your navel?" Owen wondered as he squinted and leaned down to examine Ryder's belly button.

 _Oh f%^#,_ Ryder thought to himself. _I don't have a shirt on._ "Dad," Ryder laughed nervously as he covered his belly button, "It's just some mud from earlier. You're freaking me out checking me out like that, man. Step back."

"It wasn't mud," Owen shook his head. "Move your hand."

"Why?" Ryder smiled.

"Why?" Owen pushed with a firm fatherly tone. "How about because I said so."

"Fine," Ryder surrendered, putting his hands in the air.

"Ryder," Owen moaned with disappointment, "Seriously?" As Owen palpated the skin around the belly button, he sighed with frustration and inquired, "When did you get your navel pierced?"

Shrugging and pouring on the charm, Ryder remarked vaguely, "I dunno… a while back."

Shaking his head continually, Owen stated, "We'll deal with this later. I need to get back to the hospital." He turned and hollered, "In the meantime, you're here at home. No screens. No freedom."

"You got it, Big Guy," Ryder grinned, never one to show his disappointment at being busted. Once he heard Owen enter the shower, he ran to his bedroom and updated Sally, promising he'd take her home as soon as Owen left.

Within minutes, Owen had buttoned a fresh shirt and put on a new tie. He called out to Ryder, "What's your mileage?"

"Huh?" Ryder asked as he stepped out of his room and closed the door behind him.

"Your mileage. Odometer reading on your car? So I know you didn't leave," Owen clarified.

"Oh," Ryder responded blankly. "Umm… I'll go check."

Owen accompanied his son and grumbled, "Put a shirt on, Ryder." Still shaking his head, Owen jumped into the Boxster and drove back to work.

The second Owen asked for the mileage on the Mustang, Ryder devised a plan. Instead of taking his car to pick up the kids, he'd take the van. Proud of his ingenuity, he ran upstairs, threw on a sweatshirt and led Sally downstairs. Once in the garage, his shoulders sagged as he remembered that Lynne had the van and Amelia had the Enclave. He was stuck – the Mustang was the only car at his disposal. If asked, he'd assert that he began heading to the wrong field before realizing his mistake. Besides, Lynne had suggested that he take Ria and Lucas out for fast food since the night was so chaotic. There were plenty of ways to cover his drive to Sally's.

~~~~~~~~~~`'

Owen returned to the hospital promptly. As he approached Amelia in the hallway, Amelia smirked and admired Owen's fresh shirt and tie, "Hmmm… great choice, Handsome."

He straightened his tie and grimaced before requesting, "Have a minute?"

"I'm heading to the OR to clip an aneurism. Can we walk and talk?" she offered.

Owen put his arm around his wife and offered a side hug, sharing, "Let me explain what happened when I went home. Something's up."

After Owen listed his observations and Ryder's strange behavior, Amelia smiled widely and reflected, "Owen… didn't you ever sneak a girl into the house?"

Scoffing, he insisted, "No."

"C'mon. Really?" Amelia pushed playfully. "It's ok – I promise not to tell your mom."

With a chuckle, Owen repeated, "No. Never. I didn't behave like that… oh, which reminds me, did you know he pierced his navel?"

"No. There's no way," Amelia argued, convinced she would know if Ryder had pierced anything. The two walked through the doors of the scrub area where Stephanie was already scrubbing.

"Saw it myself, Mia. Honest," Owen reiterated as his head resumed its back and forth motion of disbelief. "At least it's clean. No infection or hematomas."

"You checked?" Amelia laughed as she began to scrub.

Completely unsure why she'd be so surprised, Owen naively shrugged and refuted, "Of course, I did."

"Checked what?" Stephanie couldn't resist asking.

"Ryder's belly button is pierced. When Owen saw it, he palpated and examined it," Amelia giggled.

"Oh, Dr. Hunt, no… really? Isn't he like 17 or 18? How awkward," Edwards laughed.

"If he doesn't want me messing with his torso, he shouldn't pierce it," Owen declared with a shrug. Both women laughed in response. Reluctantly, Owen repeated what Amelia had shared earlier in the conversation, "You said something about a girl?"

"He totally had a girl in the house, Owen. I can't believe you didn't put it together," Amelia smirked. "He was walking around without a shirt, why? Because he didn't have time to put one on when he heard you come home. When you grounded him, he closed his bedroom door, didn't he?"

Owen glanced to his right, attempting to recall details. Surprised, he affirmed, "Yeah, he did. Why would he do that? The kids never close their doors."

"Bbiinnnggo," Amelia drawled as Edwards stifled a laugh. "And the noise about bathing the dog? First, when was the last time he did that without being asked? Second, why would he only bathe _one_ dog? Third, Bogey's coat would have still been wet when you saw him. Their coats take forever to dry. Oh, Owen, you are such a brilliant surgeon and such a clueless parent. I could just kiss you."

He leaned over with a grin and kissed his wife through her mask, "I'm glad you keep me around for comic relief."

"We'll talk when I'm done here. We'll figure out what to do with that monster child," Amelia winked. As she entered the OR, she turned and hollered, "Military school?"

Ready to slow down his day and simply sit still, Owen climbed the stairs to the gallery and flopped into a chair to watch Amelia and Edwards perform the surgery.

Down in the OR, Amelia mused, "Edwards, don't ever have six children. If Owen and I make it through this adventure without ending up on this table, it'll be a miracle."


	3. Chapter 3 - Surprises & Disappointments

**Chapter 3**

 **An Imperfect Life – Surprises and Disappointments**

 **Friday, January 12** **th**

"Hey, Mom," Ryder, having just returned home with Lucas and Ria, answered his phone innocently.

"Ryder Blake," Amelia stated firmly as she scrubbed out and balanced the phone on her shoulder.

"That's me, Mama Bird," Ryder quipped with a small laugh.

"Tell me what went down this afternoon," Amelia commanded without emotion.

"What? With the dogs and the belly button thing?" Ryder feigned confusion.

Pursing her lips, Amelia paused. Breaking the brief but heavy silence, she continued, "Don't lie to me, Ryder. Fess up. You had quite the day."

"That stupid referral. I'm guessing the school called you. Whatever, Mom. They are so psycho there. If a guy even looks at a girl on accident, they write him up," Ryder exaggerated.

"What about after school?" Amelia questioned without response.

"Crazy, huh?" Ryder forced a chuckle. "I'm sorry about the belly button, Mom. I didn't think you guys would care. I guess I forgot to mention it. A couple of us just did it to ourselves one night. We had rubbing alcohol. We weren't stupid about it."

"That's debatable, Ryder," Amelia countered flatly. "How did you pierce yourselves?"

"With the bar. I just kept shoving it in further until it popped back out," he admitted.

"Didn't that hurt?" she inquired as she winced.

With heavy laughter, recalling to himself how drunk he'd been at the time, Ryder emphasized, "It hurt like hell, but it's awesome now that it's done."

"You didn't ask because you knew we'd say no," Amelia stated plainly.

"It really isn't a big deal, Mom? I mean, I'm ok and what's done is done."

"You hid something from us and you snuck around behind our backs, Ryder. That's the issue more than the piercing itself," Amelia pointed out. By this point in the conversation, she was speaking to him through her Bluetooth on her drive home. "I'm guessing you were either drunk or high at the time, too."

Ryder did not readily admit his mom's accurate hunch, hoping his silence would lead her to simply move on to her next question.

Interrupting the silence but not forgetting the unanswered questions, she continued, "Who was over when Dad came home?"

"Huh?" Ryder attempted to clarify as he feigned confusion.

"You seem to forget that I was a nightmare teenager, Ryder. I'm not even going to explain how easy it was for me to figure out that you had a girl over," Amelia grumbled.

"How come I always get caught?" Ryder whined. "The other kids do all kinds of things and don't get in trouble, but I get busted for everything I do."

"Waah," Amelia chuckled. "Poor Ryder."

"Mom," Ryder persisted, "Cut me some slack!" He heard Amelia's garage door open and swallowed hard in response.

"I just pulled in. Go to your room, Ry," Amelia sighed.

"Why? What'd I really do? C'mon," Ryder protested.

"I'm so disappointed with your dishonesty. Dad and I need to talk, then we'll all discuss this mess," Amelia shared.

"I love you, Mom," Ryder offered meekly but honestly as he climbed the stairs.

"I love you, too, Ry. That's why you're still breathing, my dear," Amelia quipped.

Having heard the Enclave, Lucas ran down the small hallway off the kitchen and flung open the door that led to the garage. Hopping up and down, Lucas repeated, "Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!"

Amelia stepped out of the car and smiled widely, "Hi, Monkey. How was soccer?"

"I scored a goal," he boasted as he stood tall. Holding her hand in the air, Amelia and Lucas shared a high five. "I want to tell Daddy about it. When is he coming home?"

"Not until tomorrow morning," Amelia explained. "He's working overnight."

"I don't ever want to be a doctor. You guys have weird sleep times," Lucas observed.

"If you have your own practice, the hours are more manageable. That's what I used to do before I married Daddy," Amelia clarified.

"Hmm… maybe I'll think about it then," Lucas proposed.

"If you did become a doctor, what kind of doctor would you be?" Amelia inquired curiously.

"Maybe I'd work with kids or look at stuff in microscopes," Lucas considered. "I like sleeping. Are there sleep doctors?"

"There are," Amelia giggled. "Some people have trouble breathing when they sleep. Pulmonologists help them fix that."

"Hmmm…" Lucas shrugged. "Maybe I'll think about that one."

Later that evening, Ryder, knowing he was on thin ice, voluntarily helped get Lucas and Ria ready for bed. As the three snuggled in Amelia and Owen's bed, Ryder read books and used funny voices for the characters. Removing her makeup and changing clothes in the bathroom, Amelia smiled as she overheard the playful banter between three of her kids.

"Darling children, let's start settling down," Amelia encouraged as she handed Ria a less silly story. "Ree, you read a page, then Lucas can read, and then Ryder."

"What are you going to be doing, Mommy?" Lucas wondered aloud.

"Daddy and I need to talk. He just sent me a text letting me know he's taking a break," Amelia smirked. "Ryder, how about if you and I connect when you're done here?"

Gulping, Ryder forced a grin and agreed. He led the kids through the last book and let Ria convince him to carry her to bed. Lucas, scoring his favorite space, snuggled into the covers in the master bedroom.

Ryder slunk downstairs slowly, trying to make sense of Amelia's half of the conversation with Owen.

"I agree – that might drive the point home strongly," Amelia confirmed. She peeked up and saw Ryder, motioning him over to the couch. The words Ryder could hear offered no clues about how his life would be changed now that he'd been caught. "He's down here, so I'm going to go… I'll be fine… Ok, I will. Talk to you soon."

"Ryder, Ryder, Ryder," Amelia began with a sigh as she tsk'd.

Smirking and attempting to pour on the charm, Ry responded, "Mama, Mama, Mama."

"I'm tired and it's been a long day," Amelia warned. Ryder nodded, both eager and hesitant to hear what she was about to share. " _What_ you were doing with the girl is not our greatest concern – we're giving you the benefit of the doubt that you used precautions if they were needed. The fact that you not only snuck a girl in but also took her to your room and closed the door, however, is a problem. The made up stories you told Dad were dishonest. Not acceptable. The piercing – again, we're more disappointed that you've been hiding it. The detentions, well… I'll get to that in a minute."

Amelia paused and locked her gaze on Ryder before continuing, "There's a theme of sneaking around and dishonesty that has us concerned, Ryder, so we're going to break down a few barriers between what you do and what we know about. In addition to being grounded until Monday after next and being Dad's work buddy this weekend, Dad's removing your bedroom door and we're going to hold on to your electronics. You'll have your cell during the day t school but not at home."

"Are you serious?!" Ryder protested with a surprised tone. "Mom, c'mon… I'm 17. How am I supposed to get dressed or have any privacy? You might as well move me into the hallway or the kitchen."

Wiggling her lips into a curve, Amelia nodded and commented, "Yeah… that'll suck, huh?"

Ryder stood up, really wanting to yell and argue but holding back, mumbled, "Whatever."

"Door stays open until Dad removes it and I'd like the electronics down here before you turn in," Amelia called out.

With a tightened jaw and a scowl, Ryder went to his room and gathered up his iPod, phone, laptop, and tablet. Without a word, he set them on the coffee table and returned to his bedroom. As he tried to process the consequences, he really missed Nolan. Even though Nole would have probably supported Amelia and Owen, Ryder could have vented with him and voiced his sense of being treated unfairly.

About ten minutes later, Amelia walked by Ryder's room and peeked in. "Lights out, bud. Dad will be ready to tackle the garage at about 8 tomorrow morning."

Ryder turned off the lamp by his bed and then decided to request, "Can I call Nolan?"

Although Owen would have scoffed at the request, Amelia stepped into the bedroom. She handed Ryder his phone and kissed his forehead, advising, "Bring the phone to my bedroom as soon as you're done. No other texts or calls, got it?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

"Larissa," Nolan emphasized as he washed the dinner dishes while Lissa put leftovers away, "Babe, all I'm saying is that I was trying to do what I could to keep you safe. I wasn't trying to control your movements."

"It doesn't feel that way, Nolan. It feels like you're trying to parent me. I _am_ an adult, _dear,_ " Lissa protested.

With a sigh, Nolan groaned, "I know you're an adult. I've already explained what I intended and I've apologized that my actions came across differently."

Closing the refrigerator, Lissa leaned against the cabinet and stated plainly, "Really? You know I'm an adult? Can we explore that for a minute?"

Nolan stopped scrubbing a pan and looked up with concern, "Of course, we can." Rather than leading her to a specific spot and risking more accusations, Nolan suggested, "Maybe we could sit down somewhere."

Turning toward the rest of the house, Lissa walked to the bedroom and leaned against a pile of pillows on the bed. Nolan slid onto the edge of the foot of the bed and leaned against the wall.

"Talk to me, Shorty," Nolan begged with obvious exasperation and impatience.

"I'd really like to yell and scream," Lissa admitted with narrowed eyes and folded arms. "I am so… I'm irritated."

"I can tell," Nolan reflected quietly. "Help me understand." His ability to remain calm infuriated Lissa further. Watching him maintain self-control while she flew off the handle caused Larissa to feel as if Nolan was the adult and she was the petulant child.

"This morning, when you stomped into the bedroom demanding that I not walk to class, I felt like I didn't have a say," Lissa disclosed with tension. "I'm not five. I don't need to hold your hand. I can make my own decisions – regardless of what you think about them."

"Wow, Larissa," Nolan shook his head. "I guess those vows – remember those? – those words about caring for you and protecting you… just a bunch of bullshit, huh?"

"Did you think caring about and protecting me meant that you'd be making any decisions about me without my input? That you get to decide what was best for me?" Lissa asserted.

"I'm responsible for you, Larissa. I take that seriously," Nolan retorted.

"What?!" Larissa balked.

"You're my wife," Nolan emphasized. "It's my job as your husband to ensure your safety and take care of you. I don't get it, Liss, that pisses you off?"

" _I'm_ responsible for me, Nolan. _We're_ responsible for _us._ You're responsible for yourself," Lissa insisted.

Wearing thin and continuing to not understand the nuances of Lissa's point, Nolan snapped, "Really?!"

"Yeah, really," Lissa yelled.

Nolan stood up and folded his arms. His tall frame towered over the foot of the bed as he narrowed his eyes and shook his head. With a grim frown, he grumbled, " _You're_ responsible for yourself…" Larissa could sense Nolan was upset, but wasn't able to anticipate his direction. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she scowled at him.

Continuing, Nolan repeated, " _You're_ responsible for yourself." Then he sneered, "Rent was due on the 5th. I'll gather the utility bills and grocery receipts so I can let you know your portion of those expenses. Since you cook and do more than half the cleaning, how about if we split them one third – two thirds? What else? The car? That was a gift. It's yours. Tuition – I'm fine covering what's been paid so far. You can cover it starting next term." He stared at her with contempt.

Rather than become emotional, Lissa, disgusted with Nolan's words, stood on the bed and walked up to Nolan. Standing on the mattress allowed her short stature to tower over him, "What happened to 'It's _our_ money, Larissa. Not _my_ money?'"

Bellowing uncharacteristically, Nolan countered, "What happened to 'I will follow you and heed your guidance'?"

"How dare you misuse my vows to insinuate blind subservience, Nolan James. How dare you throw your money in my face as if I'm a gold digger," Lissa scowled.

"You are the mistress of twisting words to suit your argument, Larissa," Nolan stewed.

Lissa stepped off the bed, ignoring Nolan's outstretched arm. After grabbing her purse, she stepped into the bathroom and locked the door. Nolan stood there, completely unsure how to proceed.

He flopped onto the bed, overhearing the clattering in the bathroom and attempting to figure out what Larissa was doing. As he caught his breath, Nolan grabbed the ringing phone with the thought, _Who the hell is calling?_

Nolan's brows lowered when he noted that a series of missed calls over the last twenty minutes had come from Ryder. Nolan called Ryder and Ryder greeted with, "It's about damn time. Where the hell have you been?"

Rather than respond to his brother's question, Nolan inquired, "Is everything ok?"

"I'm safe. Everyone's alive, but I'm totally pissed at Mom and Dad," Ryder clarified.

"Ah," Nolan nodded.

Ryder launched into a summary from his perspective, barely taking time to breathe between sentences.

When a pause finally occurred, Nolan sought to clarify, "Who's Sally?" As Nolan listened, Lissa emerged from the bathroom and threw handfuls of clothes into a duffel bag. Nolan observed, but said nothing. He assumed she was simply throwing a snit and seeking his attention.

"Why does that matter?" Ryder questioned, slightly perturbed.

"Just curious," Nolan explained. "Sounds pretty serious, that's all."

Scoffing, Ryder stated, "Not serious at all."

"But you're having sex with her?" Nolan asked, aghast.

"So. That's what I do, Nole," Ryder declared.

Nolan shook his head, "Classy, Ry. You're such a gentleman."

"The last reason I called was to hear some sort of brotherly morality lecture, dude," Ryder complained.

"You're right. Biting my tongue," Nolan resigned. "Back to the rest of the drama – how can I help?" Lissa turned and glared at Nolan before stepping into the hallway. Hesitantly, Nolan followed and watched as Lissa walked toward the kitchen.

"I needed to bitch. And I need someone to totally agree that removing my door is absolute bullshit," Ryder clarified.

"I can't believe they came up with that. Pretty creative – you sneak a girl into your room, we'll remove your ability to be sneaky in there. I feel like I should note the idea for the future," Nolan chuckled. "I can see Dad praising himself for that stroke of parenting brilliance. He'll probably make you remove the door while he stands there watching and directing." Lissa opened then slammed the back door. Dumbfounded, Nolan watched out the kitchen window as Lissa pulled out of the driveway.

"It's just a f $#ing laugh riot around here," Ryder dryly commentated. "Take my mind of this crap. What's up with you?"

With stunned confusion, Nolan sputtered, "Umm… I think Lissa just left me."


	4. Chapter 4 - I Need Your Help

**Chapter 4**

 **An Imperfect Life – I Need Your Help**

 **Friday, January 12** **th** **, Saturday, January 13** **th**

After Nolan hung up the call with Ryder, he sat in the Living Room and considered his options. _Maybe a one night break isn't such a bad idea. We're both so pissed,_ he pondered. _I hate not knowing where she is… I wish I could talk to Dad. This sucks._

Considering his options and their possible consequences, he eventually decided to type out a text that read, _Let me know you're safe._

Within a minutes, Lissa responded, _I'm at Rob and Steph's. Need some space. Talk tomorrow?_ Rob, a classmate of Nolan's, and Steph were close friends of the Tremblay-Hunts. They were a few years older than Nolan and Lissa and had a three year old little girl.

 _Yeah, I'd like that,_ Nolan answered, relieved she was safe and sound. Adding to his message, Nolan continued, _I'm sorry._

Lissa typed back, _G'night._

Nolan was relieved that Lissa had responded and that they'd communicated by text. He went to sleep that night with a thousand considerations on his mind, attempting to sort out everything that had been said during the fight.

 **~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'**

Saturday morning, Lucas called Owen's phone. The doctor happened to call in between two ER rushes and answered when he saw the home number on the caller ID. Not sure who in the family was calling, Owen offered his standard greeting, "Dr. Hunt."

"Daddy," Lucas began with an audible sigh and slight admonishment. "Mama said you were gonna be home this morning and you're not."

"Sorry, Luke, I'm working until tonight. I'm not sure why Mommy thought I'd be home earlier," Owen explained.

"I wanted to tell you something and I've been waiting _all_ night," Lucas shared without any detail.

With a grin, Owen suggested, "Can you tell me now over the phone?"

"Yeah," Lucas pondered aloud, "but I won't be able to show you how I did it."

"Give it a try and let's go from there, Buddy," Owen encouraged.

"I scored a goal at soccer yesterday. The other guy did this, then I moved like this and then I ran around that way and kicked like that," Lucas explained as he displayed his movements.

"That's great, Lucas!" Owen celebrated as he nodded at a colleague who walked by. "You'll have to show me what you did when I get home tonight. Anything else, Bud? I need to get back to work?"

"Ryder wrote you a note to call Nolan. He put the note right here on the fridge," Lucas stated.

"Thanks, Lucas. I'll see you tonight," Owen concluded. "And tell Ryder to call me when he wakes up, ok?"

"He's right here, Daddy," Lucas volunteered, not heeding Ryder's waving arms trying to communicate the opposite message.

He handed the phone to his older brother, who put it to his ear and greeted, "Hey, Dad."

"Sorry I'm not there to get the weekend going, Ryder," Owen apologized.

Ryder thought sarcastically, _Oh, yeah, me too, Dad. Me, too._ Verbally, he uttered, "Uh huh."

"Let's get working on the garage. Shake out the dog bed, sweep the floors, and clean the door that heads inside. When you're done with that, give the dogs a bath and ask Mom where she wants them to dry off. It's too cold in the garage. Ask Mom if she needs help sorting out clothes for the younger kids – you know, set aside the stuff that's too small. Except some of Anna's clothes can go to Ria, of course," Owen assigned and then continued, "Clean all the leaves and yard debris off the back patio and off the balconies and rake the front yard area by the driveway. When that's all done, Mom and I have been talking about checking with you kids about switching around some bedrooms – see where Mom is on that and make that happen. Go ahead and take your door off and take it to the garage. If you don't know how, Mom can help."

"I'm on it," Ryder responded, knowing any protests would only lead to more work. "Hey, Nolan wants you to call him. He and Liss got in a huge fight last night."

"Great," Owen sighed. "Have a good day, Ry. See you tonight," Owen said more out of habit than consciously.

Ryder thought to himself, _Oh, yeah, my day is going to be amazing, Dad. Thanks for helping me find ways to pass the time._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Meanwhile, Ria was snuggled under her blankets when Amelia came to check on her. "Ree Ree? It's time to wake up," Amelia prodded.

After a sniffle and little cough, Ria raised her head up and detailed, "Mama, I don't feel good."

Walking over to the bed and sitting down beside Ria, Amelia pulled Ria's leg out from under the blankets. She began massaging it and stretching out Ria's ankle joint. "What's up, little pup?"

"My tummy is wiggly and gurgly and loud," Ria described.

"Your leg seems a little tight, too. How are your muscles today?" Amelia inquired. Ria shrugged as her skin turned greenish-grey. Amelia nodded and confirmed, "You're going to be sick, aren't you?" Ria nodded and Amelia picked her up quickly, making it to the bathroom just in time.

"Ryder," Amelia called out as Ria threw up, "I need your help up here."

Taking his time, Ryder dragged himself up the stairs. "What's up?" he asked as he reached the hallway. Hearing the noise, he turned around toward the stairs and volunteered, "Just heard… I'll get some 7-Up."

"A couple hand towels first, please. The only towels in here are dirty," Amelia explained.

Ryder walked in with his back facing the hallway and stretched his arm into the bathroom. He handed the towels to Amelia as Ria continued hurling.

"Do you see a hair tie on the counter, Ry?" Amelia questioned.

Displaying a sour face, Ryder whipped his head around and looked. He grabbed one and handed it to Amelia. "Can I go before I'm doing the same thing she's doing?"

"Big Baby," Amelia teased.

While Ryder was downstairs pouring 7-Up, Anna headed to the bathroom and exclaimed dramatically, "Oh, disgusting! What am I supposed to do now?" Unexpected changes in routine were never to Anna's liking.

"Go use the boys' bathroom, AB," Amelia suggested.

"Their bathroom is disgusting. It's… boyish," Anna protested.

Amelia rolled her eyes as she wiped Ria's forehead, "Then use my bathroom, Annabelle. Just get faraway so this bug doesn't spread."

"You don't want it," Ria warned weakly. "It's yucky."

"I can tell. It's gross and it stinks in here," Anna complained. For Annabelle, life and all its happenings revolved around Annabelle and her preferences.

"Get your whiny butt outta here," Ryder commanded his sister as he walked past her and handed Amelia a cup. "Anything else, Mom?"

"What's Livs up to? I haven't seen her yet this morning," Amelia wondered.

"I'll go find her," Ryder volunteered.

Annabelle, not about to let Ryder's words pass without attention, pointed out, "Mama, did you hear how Ryder talked to me? That's not appropriate."

"You're not appropriate. Go do what Mom told you to do," Ryder bossed.

Anna scowled at Ryder, "Don't tell me what to do, Ryder."

"Both of you…now! Go, please," Amelia declared as she popped Victoria's hair into a ponytail and rubbed her back.

Ryder made sure to bump into Annabelle as they both walked down the hallway. She was consistently the best Little to harass because a reaction was nearly a given.

"Stop it!" Annabelle whined. "You're doing that on purpose."

"Doing what?" Ryder amused himself with false naiveté.

"Bumping into me. You're bugging me," Anna moaned before yelling out to Amelia, "Mommy, Ryder's bumping into me."

"It was an accident," Ryder, lying, protested.

"It was not," Anna screeched with a high pitched, piercing scream. Ryder shook his head and headed downstairs, leaving Anna in the hallway to throw her fit.

Lucas called up from the Dining Room, "Shut up, Annabelle. I'm trying to eat." His bossiness only caused Anna to turn up the volume. Amelia tried to focus on Ria and ignore Anna's drama.

Chuckling, Ryder nodded and affirmed Lucas' frustration before asking, "Where's Olivia?"

"I think she's in the playroom," Lucas guessed without any basis. Ryder headed toward the playroom and spotted Olivia coming out of Owen's office.

"What the hell are you doing in there?" Ryder prodded. "You know you're not supposed to be in there."

"I needed a stapler," Olivia explained as she held a packet of papers up.

"You're still not supposed to be in there," Ryder pressed, loving the idea that someone else might face consequences. "I'm telling Mom."

"Noooooo," Olivia begged. "Ryder, I just needed to use the stapler."

"You were in there a super long time, Olivia, because I've been out here since I talked to Dad on the phone and you were in there the whole time," Lucas accused.

"I was not. You're a liar, Lucas," Olivia screamed, panicking that she'd be found out.

As Anna's fit continued in the hallway, Lucas and Olivia began a screaming match of their own. Ryder, not attempting to stop the argument, rummaged through the kitchen to find some breakfast.

"Ryder? What's going on down there?" Amelia called down after she put Victoria back to bed and carried Anna into Lissa's old room.

"The Reds are fighting," Ryder explained. "Send Anna down and it can turn into a full throttle brawl."

Amelia pounded down the stairs, denying her queasy stomach, yawned and poured herself some coffee. "Lucas! Stairs. Now. Olivia! Sit by the door!" she commanded. "Enough screaming." As the kids attempted to plead their case, Amelia put her hand up and insisted, "I don't want to hear it. Quiet."

"Mom! I'm 14, not three!" Olivia protested at being put in time out.

Amelia shot a warning look to Olivia before regarding Ryder with disappointment. She reminded him, "You're the closest to an adult down here. Why did you let them carry on like that? C'mon, Ryder."

"It was entertaining," Ryder scoffed with a sly grin. "Oh, and Livs was in Dad's office for a while."

"Olivia Elise?" Amelia raised her eyebrows and curled her index finger, beckoning Olivia.

"I needed to use a stapler," Olivia whined.

Amelia regarded Olivia with doubt, "Nobody is allowed in there, Olivia. You know that."

"Mama!" Anna shrieked from upstairs at full volume.

"Olivia, go to your room, please," Amelia instructed. Turning to Ryder, she requested, "Keep Lucas out of trouble and listen for Ria." Ryder nodded but internally rolled his eyes, disgusted with the attention Anna's behavior received. He couldn't wait to move to the Naval Academy and begin a life free of Anna's outbursts.

"Mama!" Anna repeated with a blood curdling scream.

"I'm on my way, Annabelle Grace," Amelia huffed. She thought to herself hopelessly, _This child… when are we finally going to have some answers? We've tried play therapy, occupational therapy for sensory issues, had her hearing and sight analyzed, asked psychiatrists to study her. Nobody has any answers. Nobody. How much more of this can I take?_

"Now!" Annabelle bellowed as she kicked the wall and pulled on her own hair.

Softly and calmly, Amelia reassured her daughter, "I'm on my way, Annabelle. Deep breaths, please. Slow, deep breaths." _Please, Universe, please help me through this. I'm nearing the end of my rope. Help me with this child._ Amelia's eyes welled with tears, but, as usual, she managed to hold them back.

"Where were you?! My heart is exploding," Anna demanded. She was now at the point where she was throwing pillows against the wall. When she ran out of pillows, lamps or anything within reach could be next. Amelia's heart sank. She hated encountering her daughter's alter-ego.

Amelia sat at the edge of the doorway and silently observed. Today was a better day – at least Anna was pounding the mattress and tearing the bedding off instead of putting holes in the walls. After allowing and monitoring the rage for 3-5 minutes, Amelia softly suggested, "Anna, can I bring Barkley up here?"

"Yes," Anna screeched with volatile anger.

Walking at a measured pace, Amelia approached the open hallway that overlooked the living room. "Ryder, would you please let Barks in?" Whenever Barkley entered Anna's fit zones, the magic happened. The dog was courageous enough to enter the terror zone and her gentle presence would shift Anna out of rage and into tears. Hugging Barkley provided whatever it was that Anna's short-circuiting brain needed in the moment.

Barkley ran toward Anna's screaming as soon as she entered the house. Bogey, preferring calmer company, remained downstairs with the boys. The dog bounded into the room as Anna high-pitched outburst continued. She sat down in front of Anna, bowed her head, and licked her paw. Tentatively, the dog took one step toward Anna and leaned against Anna's hips. Anna embraced the dog and collapsed to the ground, sobbing heartily into her comforting presence.

In between quick breaths, Anna twisted toward Amelia and begged, "Please don't leave, Mama. Stay here."

"I'm right here, Baby. Mommy's not leaving," Amelia reassured her from the doorway. After having been injured more than once by flying objects, Anna's therapist had advised that Amelia not enter the room until Anna's storms had fully subsided. Amelia leaned her head against the doorframe and exhaled deeply. Even though these events were far fewer than they'd been at their peak when Anna was in 1st and 2nd grade, the adrenaline rush of the experience still sapped anything and everything Amelia had to give. When Anna was steady, she could be adorable, quirky, and, yes, bold. When the emotional affective rages were released, the storm ushered in an unrecognizable monster bent on violence and destruction. After all the medical consultations, Owen and Amelia had yet to find anyone able to fully diagnose and treat Anna's challenges. Unable to shed any light on Anna's swings, Amelia felt incompetent as a neurologist and inept as a mother.

A half hour after being sent to her room, Olivia peeked into the hallway and saw Amelia leaning against the guest room doorframe, holding and rocking Annabelle. "Can I come out of my room now?" Olivia requested softly.

Without moving from her spot, Amelia whispered, "Why were you in Dad's office, Livs?"

"I already told you. I needed a stapler," Olivia insisted.

Shaking her head, Amelia closed her eyes and announced, "I'm turning this one over to Dad. I don't have the energy for it. Yes, Olivia, you can come out of your room now." Amelia brushed back Anna's tangled hair and kissed her forehead as a tear escaped from her eye. Speaking softly, Amelia proposed, "Anna, do you want to rest awhile or come downstairs with Mom?"

"Bed," Anna mumbled sleepily. "But I'll walk." Anna peeled herself away from Amelia and trudged down the hall to her bedroom. After Nolan and Lissa were married, Lucas moved into Nolan's room, Anna moved into Lucas' room, and Lissa's room turned back into a guest room. The girls were now at one end of the hallway and the boys at the other. Lucas thoroughly enjoyed being away from "the other little kids" and having a boys-only bathroom. The reality that he'd be the only boy in the house next year hadn't really crossed anyone's mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~````'

Later, Owen saw Ryder's scrawled message on the fridge when he came home Saturday night after a chaotic, non-stop 36 hour shift. He felt guilty that he'd forgotten to call Nolan earlier in the day. Being exhausted, however, Owen promised himself he'd call the next day. He sleepily made his way upstairs and smiled when he heard Amelia reading to the Littles.

Before making his presence known to the younger kids, Owen popped his head into Olivia's room to discover she was not there. He made his way to Ryder's open door and stopped outside it.

"What?" Ryder sneered upon encountering his dad's presence.

"Just got home," Owen announced as he yawned. "Checking in. Seeing what's going on."

"Nothing," Ryder replied with an attitude. "What could possibly be going on in my open-door, no electronics life?"

Rather than accept the invitation to Ryder's argument, Owen shrugged and grinned. With a nod, he offered, "Good point."

Turning back toward his own bedroom, Owen walked down the hall anticipating a trio of attacking children. He greeted them with a weary smile, "How are three of my favorite kids?"

"Three? Who are you leaving out?" Lucas questioned. Fourteen year old Olivia had joined the Littles for story time, and the four kids surrounded Amelia in bed.

"Daddy's so tired that he can't count," Owen chuckled. He walked over and offered each child a hug and kiss.

Ria, his third hug, respectfully but truthfully pointed out, "Daddy… you need a shower."

With a grin and a wink, Amelia watched the interaction and suggested, "Why don't you wait a few minutes for that, Daddy?"

Too tired even for sex with his hot wife, Owen smiled back and regarded Amelia with regret. He mouthed silently, "Sorry" before heading to the bathroom and starting the shower. Disappointed but not surprised, Amelia finished the pre-bedtime routine and settled everyone into bed before stepping into the master bathroom.

With a flirty tilt to her head, she offered, "You sure you don't want me to join you? Anna had a terrible day and the rest of the kids seemed to rotate fighting with one another. I need a hug."

Owen smiled and leaned over to kiss her, "I wish, Mia. Not one minute of sleep the whole shift. I'm beat." He stepped past her, walked to the closet to throw on a pair of boxers and fell into bed. Feeling guilty, he held his head up and invited her, "I'd love to hold you."

Amelia crawled in next to him and whispered happily, "I'll settle for snuggling." She nuzzled her head just below his shoulder and smiled peacefully when he wrapped his exhausted arm around her and quickly fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5 - Wondering

**Chapter 5**

 **An Imperfect Life – Wondering**

 **Sunday, January 14** **th**

~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Owen and Amelia choreographed their steps around the kitchen as one prepared coffee and the other mixed pancake batter. The kids were still sleeping, but would soon make their way downstairs as the aromas of breakfast wafted under their noses.

"You mentioned last night that Anna melted down," Owen commented, inviting details and conversation about what transpired while he was at the ER.

"Oh, Owen," Amelia sighed. "It was ugly. I haven't seen her like that in a long time. Ria was throwing up and Anna slept too late. She hadn't eaten or had her meds. Ryder was being a typical big brother and hassling her. Her routine was off just enough to bring on a tantrum."

"How long?" Owen inquired, worried the days of full hour melt downs might be on the horizon again.

"I dunno… maybe 30-40 minutes? Barkley worked her magic. Thank God for that dog," Amelia praised.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here to help," Owen shared with regret.

Amelia walked over and hugged her husband, acknowledging, "You had your own chaos to manage at the hospital. We made it through."

"Mia…" Owen began with hesitation. He anticipated Amelia would not appreciate his suggestion. "I've been thinking about Anna's challenges, and came across some research on pediatric PTSD…"

"Owen," Amelia countered as she interrupted, "it was one slip up. We don't need to rush to judgment or start considering further diagnoses. She takes methylphenidate for her ADD - that's enough. No more chemicals need to run through her young veins."

"Hear me out, Mia," Owen requested with a hint of insistence. "I'd really like to talk to Nancy and hear her perspective."

"We've been through this before, Owen. If my sister gets involved, she'll point out every way under the sun that she sees me as a failure. That's _not_ going to help me parent Anna," Amelia reminded him.

"What if I talk to her? I'll call her," Owen suggested. "Mia, she's family. She'll come at all this from another angle and be able to bring her psychiatric expertise with her. I need to feel like we've done all we can. Right now, I don't."

Amelia turned around and leaned on the counter. "I can't stand her," Amelia declared regarding her eldest sister.

"I know," Owen nodded. "I'll talk to her. I'll be the contact."

"She'll find ways to put me down," Amelia feared.

"And I'll be there to have your back and to counter her assertions," Owen promised.

"She can't run Anna through a battery of tests. Anna's been through too much," Amelia pondered aloud, softening to the idea of Nancy's involvement.

"I'll insist that we consent to any further tests. Let's give this a try," Owen pleaded. "For Anna's sake."

Amelia sighed deeply and nodded. "Nancy's on East Coast time. Why don't you try her now before the kids come down."

He grasped Amelia's cheeks in his hands and kissed her, "I promise to manage Nancy." With a slight spring in his step, Owen walked to his office and closed the door.

After about 45 minutes, Owen emerged with a smile that communicated relief. Amelia and the kids were at the table finishing their breakfast, and Owen exchanged a quick glance with his wife. Sitting down to join them, Owen patted Amelia's hand before celebrating, "I hear that pancakes are on the menu today."

Everyone knew Anna would be tightly attached to her daddy throughout the day since Owen had been away when she short-circuited the previous night. As expected, she ran to his side without asking to be excused. Had it been any other Shepherd-Hunt child, he or she would have been asked to return to his or her seat and try again. Since it was Anna, Owen scooped her up onto his lap and hugged her. Anna clung tightly to Owen's shirt with one hand and wrapped her other arm around his back.

While her facial expression did not change, Olivia seethed upon witnessing Anna receive special treatment. Lucas exhaled and focused on his plate without a comment, and Ryder attempted to keep a poker face while thinking, _That little brat._ Ria, who was normally infinitely patient and compassionate toward her twin, recuperated upstairs.

Amelia sat at the table and scanned the kids' faces, hoping to obtain a sense of their feelings. _Although Owen and Amelia had spoken to the kids numerous times about how their expectations of Anna were different than the customary house rules, none of the kids seemed to appreciate being held to higher standards than their fit-throwing, demanding, and high strung sister. Having been admonished by Owen more than once for their impatience with Anna, the kids had all learned to hide their true emotions related to Anna. Deep in her heart, Amelia could sense the layers that hid the resentments, misunderstandings and frustrations. However, time was often too limited to explore the deeper levels of life._

 _Being Anna's sibling was seldom an easy task. The angst began while she was still in utero and everyone feared premature birth. Then the first few years of the twins' life were full of doctors' appointments, assessments, concerns, and focus on milestones. Although Anna appeared to be the more resilient and healthy twin from a physical perspective, her emotional intensity had only increased the longer she was alive. Occasionally irritating but usually tolerable, Anna's strong personality had often caused the rest of the Shepherd Hunts to navigate around her moodiness. While Amelia and Owen were well aware of Anna's more demanding tendencies, they figured that every family had someone who drew attention and around whom much revolved. Even the kids, while not necessarily conscious of it, found Anna bearable._

 _But after the horrific car accident, everything changed. Anna's challenges intensified and her affective rages became extended daily realities. She regressed in multiple ways, especially academically and socially. While the events of that day three years prior had been terrible for all involved, Anna – and to a lesser extent, Owen – bore the brunt of haunting memories and painful recollections. Having witnessed carnage far beyond what most adults would ever encounter, no professionals were surprised at how the events of June 16 had imprinted upon the then six and a half year old little girl. Treating her had been an arduous and lengthy process that had resulted only in dimming the effects and lessening the problematic behaviors. Anna had been scarred in ways that would take a lifetime of healing._

Meanwhile, as Amelia recalled parts of the journey, the family continued to eat breakfast and sit together around the table.

"Daddy, where were you?" Olivia asked, hoping Owen had enough attention to share with her.

"I was on the phone with Aunt Nancy," Owen disclosed. "She is going to come visit in a few days." Amelia froze, not surprised about the visit but shocked by the timing.

"Really?" Ryder sought to confirm as he chewed a large bite. "Why?"

"Just to see us. It's been awhile," Owen began. Amelia nudged him under the table to add to the story, so Owen lied, "and I have a patient at the hospital that needs her help."

"Is she staying _here?_ " Ryder inquired. "Wouldn't she like to stay out in the woods at Uncle Derek's?"

Owen smirked and clarified, "She'll be here with us." Changing the subject to avoid any complaining on Ryder's part, Owen continued, "What does everyone have planned today? I know Olivia and Ryder will be spending some time with me on the yard." When Olivia heard that announcement, she figured Amelia had spoken to Owen about her visit to his home office the day before. She reasoned that yard work was better than being grounded and hoped she'd be free after a day of serving in Owen's army.

"I want to practice my soccer moves and show you how I scored that goal," Lucas proclaimed.

Anna looked up at Owen, still clinging to him, and offered, "I want to be wherever you are, Daddy."

Smiling down lovingly, Owen winked and observed, "And poor Ria will probably be in bed trying to feel better. What about you, Mia?"

"Hmm… it sounds like everyone has plans but me. Maybe I'll actually cuddle up on the couch and read a book," she smiled. "And I'll call Derek to let him know about Nancy's visit."

Owen took his last bite of breakfast and urged, "Who's on dishes this morning?"

"Me and Anna," Olivia reported. "Ryder and Lucas are clearing the table and cleaning up."

"Let's get to work, troops," Owen smiled as he clapped with encouragement. Then, looking at Anna eye-to-eye, he added tenderly, "I'll be in my office while you're doing dishes. You can come get me when you're done, ok?" Although she hesitated, Anna agreed and walked to the sink to help her sister.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Sunday morning, Lissa and her friend, Steph, sat in their PJs at the kitchen table drinking tea and nibbling on granola bars. When Lissa had arrived the previous night, she was crying and exhausted. Rather than encourage her friend to talk out her troubles, Steph hugged Lissa and fixed up the guest bed. After a night of rest, Lissa poured her heart out.

With a faint chuckle, she attempted to explain her plight, "I know he loves me, but sometimes I wish he didn't show it so much."

"He's so attentive, Liss," Steph observed. "Do you know how many women would die for even half the attention he showers on you?"

"He's like a tick – fully attached, all the time," Lissa sarcastically retorted.

Steph argued, "He's like a lovesick puppy who can't lose sight of its owner. Lissa, he's absolutely, completely, 100% nuts about you."

"Steph, it's… suffocating," Lissa tried to communicate as tears welled in her eyes. "To the outside eye, he seems so attentive and caring – and he really is. But when you live with someone tending to you every single second like I do, you begin to feel inept because he never lets you off his radar. Even though I know without a doubt he acts from a place of love, I feel stalked sometimes…watched. It's hard to explain if you haven't been there."

"So what are you going to do?" Steph questioned. "It's only going to get harder to talk to him the longer you wait."

"I know…" Lissa responded as her voice trailed off. "We'll talk soon. I'm sure he'll call or text any minute." Lissa looked into her tea and stirred it absentmindedly. "Even though I know it's not the case, sometimes I feel like he doesn't trust me. Like he doesn't have faith in me to know what to do or how to handle life. Does he see me as helpless?"

"I don't think so," Steph responded. "I don't think it's about how he sees you, Lissa. I think he has this ultra-heavy sense of responsibility to protect you. I don't really understand it, but it's never come across as controlling or demeaning. He's always seemed to act out of complete adoration. He doesn't think you're helpless or stupid. It's like he's afraid that if he relaxes his hawk-like tendencies that it'll be his fault if something happens to you. My sense is that he seems to think your safety is his responsibility. It's like if you were ever hurt, he'd believe that he failed you in some way."

"Hmm," Lissa pondered as she processed Steph's insights. Her mind wandered back to the days of Larry the step-father from Hell. Maybe Nolan had some deeply-buried guilt about how Larry had landed her in the ER. Fumbling for words, Lissa described Larry's abuse and the fear she felt in his presence. Recalling how both Owen and Nolan attempted to intervene, Lissa told Steph about being rushed to the ER completely disoriented and terrified. She shared how Larry had almost killed her and Clarisse, and how he had managed to kill the baby Clarisse was carrying at the time.

After detailing the nightmare that now seemed so far away, Lissa mused aloud, "Could it be that Nolan felt responsible for not stopping Larry? Never in a million years would I ever blame or in any way implicate Nolan for anything Larry had done."

"Could be," Steph reflected.

"Or maybe it isn't about Larry - maybe it's about the miscarriages," Lissa wondered. "Does Nolan feel responsible for them? He couldn't have prevented or stopped them. Still, I can imagine Nolan placing that guilt upon himself. Do you think Nolan feels like it's his responsibility to compensate for my broken relationship with Clarisse? I grew up so poor – do you think he sees it as his responsibility to make up for that? Does he see himself as my knight in shining armor - there to save me from all of life's suffering?"

Steph sipped her tea and grinned, "Nolan is fascinating. Here he is, this wunderkind, off-the-charts brilliant and logical. But, at the same time, he turns to total mush when it comes to you. Irrationally thinking he could save you from suffering? Yep, I _do_ see that mindset in him. There to rush in and rescue you from danger? Yep…without a doubt, Lissa, Nolan holds this deeply emotional, soul-level connection for you. Logical Phenom disappears when you're the topic. Otherwise, the guy is a brainiac able to see the world in ways most of us cannot even begin to understand."

"I've never consciously sought that from him," Lissa clarified, "but I can see how we might have gotten to this place. Nolan has always come to my rescue - whether in a class I had trouble passing or in the midst of family disaster. He sat at my bedside after Larry nearly killed me and while I delivered two dead babies. I wonder if that's at the root of all his fretting - he hopes that he can prevent further suffering by keeping close tabs on me."

"That makes more sense to me than any other possible scenario," Steph nodded.

Lissa peered out the window, speaking to herself more than to Steph, and confessed, "If that is it, it makes my heart sink. The future can't be controlled. Every bit of sadness can't be avoided. If that's what's motivating him, he'll never be satisfied that he's done everything he possibly can. Something will go wrong, somewhere along the way. It won't be his fault, but he won't accept that. He'll constantly wonder what he could've done to prevent the pain and challenges in my life."

~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

While Steph and Lissa bonded and pondered aloud, Nolan sat out on the front porch and considered what to say to Lissa. He wasn't quite sure why they had fought with such intensity, and he couldn't help but wonder about the root issue. Stretching his neck side to side and then toward the house, he spotted Saturday's mail still sitting in the mailbox. Reaching back, he grabbed the pile of junk mail, bills, and correspondence. The junk mail was immediately set to his right as he sorted through the papers. He set the two bills on his lap and then stared with curiosity at the envelope in his hand. The return address read: _Office of the American Secretary: The Rhodes Trust._ His hand shook with both anticipation and trepidation. The contents of the envelope had the potential to completely upend the Tremblay-Hunt's lives.


	6. Chapter 6 - Digging Deeper

**Chapter 6**

 **An Imperfect Life – Digging Deeper**

 **Sunday, January 14** **th**

Sunday, shortly before lunch, Lissa sent a text to Nolan letting him know she was on her way home. His response was a simple smiley emoticon. In person, however, his response was privately fraught with both anxiety and relief. He immediately began rummaging through the kitchen and preparing a lunch for two.

When she walked in the door, Lissa was met with the bright daylight sunshine glowing through the windows coupled with candles flickering on the dining room table and kitchen counter. Stunned, especially to receive such a welcome in the middle of the day, she uttered, "Oh." A million thoughts rushed through her mind, but none of them formed into words that were spoken.

Attentively, Nolan walked at a brisk pace and kissed his wife on the cheek. He whispered, "I'm glad you're home."

"Me too," Lissa sputtered, still taking in the sight of sparkling light.

"Lunch? It's not much, but it's something," Nolan confessed as he pulled out her chair. He offered to take her bags, and she handed them to him. After dropping them off in the bedroom, Nolan joined Lissa at the table. Nervous and unsure what to say next, Nolan bit into his sandwich.

Grinning gently, Lissa caught Nolan's eye and thanked him for the meal. The words she and Stephanie had shared continued to swirl in her mind; the way Nolan showered Lissa with attention was rooted in love. The more she pondered, the more convinced Lissa became that Nolan had a deeply buried, perhaps even unconscious, motivation underneath his doting love.

As the two ate, little was said. Lissa gazed out the window and, out of the corner of her eye, she caught Nolan's non-verbal invitation to share her thoughts. Boring her eyes into his, she wondered aloud, "Do you ever think about Larry? About all the horrible abuse?"

"Where's that coming from?" Nolan asked curiously with widened and concerned eyes.

"I've been thinking about how you watch out for me," Lissa disclosed cryptically.

Nolan studied her face and noted the calm resilience that radiated from his wife. She wasn't at all angry or fearful. With hesitation, Nolan answered her question, "I don't really think about Larry or the period of time he was in our lives."

"What about before Larry? When I lived with Clarisse and attended St. Frances on scholarship?" Lissa wondered.

"Babe… are you going somewhere with these questions? They're obscure," Nolan commentated.

Lissa sighed and rested her lower arms on the table as she leaned toward Nolan. She confessed, "I've been trying to sort out why you're so protective of me. I'm not trying to revive the argument, but, Nolan, let's admit it: I'm seldom out of your sight. When I am, you know exactly where I am."

Befuddled, Nolan questioned with a grin, "What's wrong with that? You're my wife, Shorty."

"Most husbands aren't so… umm… attentive," Lissa pointed out.

"Can I be honest, Larissa? Without starting to fight?" Nolan sought to ensure. Lissa nodded and Nolan continued, "I am genuinely curious why that would bother you. I don't get it."

"Sometimes I feel like I'm being tracked or followed, Nolan. I'm an adult, but you are always aware of my location. It can feel creepy. Occasionally, I wonder if you don't trust me or if you think I can't handle taking care of myself," she admitted with vulnerability.

Nolan reached out and grasped Lissa's hand, "I care about you more than anything or anyone in the world."

"Nole," Lissa said tenderly with a tilted head, "I know that. I know you love me, Trems."

"I can't imagine ever losing you," he disclosed as he dropped his gaze to the table. Mumbling, he added, "I've lost my dad… my mom… my home. Hell, I lost my entire country and, in some ways, my childhood. If anything ever happened to you, Liss, I'd self-destruct. I'd crumble into a million pieces. You keep me steady. You're the given in my life that provides stability."

Lissa couldn't hold back a soft giggle, "Nolan, how can I be the person who provides stability? I can be so erratic and emotional. I become overwhelmed then run and hide. Until I moved in with your family, my life was about as far from stable as possible. Then I brought that instability with me. You, on the other hand, you've pulled yourself together despite all the crud of your childhood. Sometimes, I wonder if I'll ever face and resolve some of my baggage."

"But I know all that about you, Blondie. Those are givens in living with Lissa," Nolan smiled as he reassured her. "And, really, you're not _that_ erratic. You're pretty damn predictable."

With a slight grin, Lissa met his eyes. She proposed with a glimmer in her eye, trying to convey compassion and understanding, "So you stalk me because you never want to lose me? Because you want to protect me from the big bad world?"

"Yeah, I guess," Nolan shrugged. "I mean… it's not like I'm conscious of all that, but yes. Being protective comes naturally to me, just ask Ryder and Olivia. When you strip away all the obvious behavior, I guess fear is really at the root of it all. I'm afraid something will happen to you or to my family." He blinked his eyes repeatedly in an attempt to shoo away pooling tears and tightened his grasp on Lissa's hand.

With her free hand, Lissa caressed Nolan's cheek and jaw line, realizing, "and I've craved that protection from chaos my entire life. You've provided that for me – or at least been at my side when everything was falling apart."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," Nolan smiled before leaning over to kiss her.

"We're two broken people whose hang ups fit together like a puzzle," Lissa chuckled as Nolan nodded in agreement. "Can I suggest that you ease up just a little on the Secret Service-level protection?"

With an embarrassed grin, Nolan promised, "I'll try."

The two finished their lunch and went about their silent dance of clearing the table and cleaning up. As Lissa bent down and placed a container in the fridge, Nolan set his hand on her back and leaned close to her, inquiring, "It's Sunday afternoon… what are we going to do with our day?"

"What did you have in mind?" Lissa questioned with a curious Cheshire Cat grin.

Nolan slowly raised one shoulder and glanced to the side, "That'd be nice."

"Mmm Hmm," Lissa smiled as she turned, closed the fridge and wrapped her arms around his waist. "We should talk sometime today too."

"Didn't we just do that?" Nolan inquired with confusion.

Lissa nodded and added, "About the fight, yeah. I want to catch up with you on other stuff."

"Which reminds me," Nolan lit up, "I have something to show you. I'm… I have no idea how to proceed."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 **Wednesday, January 17** **th**

After a six and a half hour flight, Nancy was ready to eat. On the phone the night before, she had insisted that she didn't need to be picked up at the airport because she planned to rent a car. Even though Owen tried to explain how many cars could be at her disposal, she stood firm. As the eldest Shepherd of her generation, that was Nancy's way. She'd determine how something would be handled and would not deviate from her plan.

"Where's Amy? Doesn't she have time to say hello to her sister?" Nancy inquired as she kissed Owen's cheek when she met him in the hospital lobby. From the nurses' station, Derek spotted Nancy's arrival and quickly slipped into the background hoping to go undetected.

Owen smirked and explained, "She's in surgery. You're stuck with me."

"Oh, not stuck, Dr. Hunt. Not at all," Nancy contended. "Can we eat? I'm famished."

"Absolutely," Owen smiled. As they passed the nurses' station, he paused and introduced Nancy to Edwards and Wilson. She drilled them about their attending positions at the hospital and asked Edwards what it was like to report to Amelia.

"You must be a saint," Nancy oozed. "Having Amy as your Chief must be full of unpredictable commotion."

Covering for Amelia and immediately deciding she detested Nancy, Edwards responded, "Not at all. She's very competent as a Chief and as a doctor. I feel blessed to learn from and work with her."

Nudging Nancy along, Owen interrupted before Nancy went further, "Let's go grab a table before the lunch rush. Excuse us, doctors." He nodded uncomfortably and grinned apologetically at Jo and Stephanie before leading Nancy to the cafeteria.

Once the duo selected their food and settled at a table, Nancy wasted no time. "Tell me more about Annabelle."

"Umm…" Owen nodded. "Where shall I begin? You want APGARs? Descriptions of the last three years? An overview of her latest meltdown?"

"I have all that. You forwarded her file, remember?" Definitively, Nancy instructed, "I'm looking for the parental point-of-view, not scientific data or medical analysis."

"Well…" Owen hesitated as he attempted to determine what to say. "Annabelle has been determined and clear about her preferences from the beginning." Nancy stared at Owen, listening. "Before the accident three years ago, she still had the strongest personality of all the kids. She's a natural leader, appreciates others' cooperation, and can be high strung."

"High strung, how?" Nancy prodded.

"She's fairly insistent about getting her way - definitely the least cooperative of the six kids. Her two year old tantrums lessened slightly over time, but returned with a vengeance and new intensity after everything happened," Owen recounted.

"Do you parent her with all that in mind? Do you and Amelia provide strong, clear boundaries and routines? How did you handle her tantrums before the accident?" Nancy inquired.

With a shrug, Owen offered, "We're very compatible as parents. We both run the house like an OR – everything has its place and time, routines are expected, consequences are consistent. Our nanny, Lynne, is a great help as well. Anna's tantrums before the accident…" Owen attempted to recall. "We mostly ignored them. If the behavior escalated or lasted over five minutes or so, we'd carry her up to her room and set her on the bed without speaking. She learned early on that we wouldn't engage in an argument mid-tantrum."

"Would she stay in her room? What did she do in there?" Nancy added.

"She'd stay in there," Owen nodded before offering a slight chuckle. "Our youngest, Lucas, he's the one who tries to escape. Anna would stay, but scream. Before the accident, she wasn't destructive. She'd either fall asleep after tiring herself out or pound on her pillows."

"Hmm…" Nancy pondered. "Nothing too noteworthy beforehand. She has always had a strong personality and did learn that she could influence the whole family with her demands. That's not striking." Opening a file, Nancy reviewed a few papers before continuing her questions. "One nuance I noticed – in all of these chart notes, assessments, observations and the like, nobody ever really described the accident. The data here considers and focuses upon how the accident affected her. Tell me about the accident."

Owen gulped and glanced around the area. "I don't talk about the accident."

"Why not?" Nancy inquired with raised eyebrows.

"I… uh… I don't find it particularly helpful," Owen attempted to defend his preference as he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.

Nancy set down the file and her pen and warned, "I cannot fully assess my niece without all the information related to her significant life experiences. I'd think you'd understand that."

Remembering why Nancy grated on Derek and Amelia, Owen shifted his focus to his salad and silently took a few bites before responding. After an extended awkward pause, he focused on his salad as he disclosed, "I had PTSD after my second tour of Iraq years ago – at least 12 or so years ago. I served another stint when the twins were about a year old and returned injured. Ria and I learned to walk together," Owen recalled with a nostalgic smile. Bringing himself back to the conversation, Owen stated seriously, "PTSD returned when I came home. It re-emerged after the accident too."

"Talking about the details would help soften those relapses," Nancy assured him more tenderly and compassionately than Owen had ever seen her. "Should we continue the conversation somewhere more private?"

"Yeah," Owen nodded as he took his last bite, stood up, and offered to take Nancy's tray. The two walked quietly down the hallway that led to Owen's office. After unlocking the door, Owen sat down on the couch and motioned to a chair.

Nancy sat down and silently regarded Owen. He squirmed, having been through similar interactions with Doctor Wyatt. Breaking the silence, Owen suggested, "I'd be happy to sign a release – you could see my psych files and find the details you're seeking. I recounted everything in therapy."

"I'd like to hear it from you, from today's state of mind," Nancy clarified. "Besides, I'd hate to come upon any notes relating to your marriage or my sister. I'm not willing to take that chance."

"Get comfortable, because this is going to take a while," Owen advised. "I can't promise I'll be able to do this."

With a knowing and encouraging smirk, Nancy responded, "You will. You'll do just fine. Take your time."


	7. Chapter 7 - The Accident

**Chapter 7**

 **An Imperfect Life – The Accident**

 **Wednesday, January 17** **th**

Owen sat on the couch in his office, staring at the plant in the far corner. As he began to recount the accident, he seemed vacant and distant. Avoiding an emotional connection with his words, he unconsciously hoped, would keep the retelling sterile.

"It was a Friday. The kids' last day of school," Owen began blankly. "I had just spoken to Nolan that morning. He was so anxious about Lissa. It had been just over two months since she miscarried Karina at 16 weeks. All of us were experiencing various degrees of raw grief. Lissa did not appear to be doing well at all. Truthfully, I was almost more worried about Nolan. His life revolved around tending to Lissa and completing the term at school. I was concerned he wasn't taking time for himself or time to grieve. And I was fairly certain that Lissa was in no position to support him – she was vacant… hollow…" Owen's voice trailed off as he wiped a tear from his eye.

Nancy gently redirected, "Tell me what happened after you spoke to Nolan."

"Victoria had physical therapy that afternoon and, for whatever reason, Lucas was particularly clingy that week. He wanted to go to PT so he could be with Amelia. I can't remember why… there was something going on," Owen paused, trying to recall specifics but deciding to proceed instead. "We were going different directions that day. Amelia was picking up Ria and Lucas from school. I saw her in the parking lot at St. Frances," he recalled with a gently chuckle. "I walked over to kiss her. The kids all cringed."

Smiling gently, Nancy sought to clarify, "You picked up Ryder, Olivia, and Annabelle?"

"Yeah," Owen confirmed, distancing himself emotionally. "I had the Enclave. I can't remember what Amelia was driving. Maybe Ryder's car? No… no, he wasn't sixteen yet. It couldn't have been my Boxster – she needed seating for three." He shook his head and commented, "I can't always recall all the details."

"That's not a problem, Owen," Nancy encouraged. "Share what you remember. Did you have special plans with Ryder, Olivia, and Anna?"

"Special? Well, not really. Both Mia and I had arranged to have that day and the weekend off. We wanted to begin the summer with some solid family time. We originally planned to go down to LA, but Lissa was in no shape for a house full of visitors. The week before, we talked with Nolan and he agreed. We decided to have a staycation – we were going to take the kids all around Seattle. You know… people seldom sightsee in their own surroundings," Owen pointed out.

Although Owen was not aware of his intentions, Nancy noted that he veered off at nearly every opportunity. He described inconsequential details and lost his focus easily. Again, she nudged him back to the topic at hand, "So you were headed directly home from school?"

Owen shook his head. "No. I had picked Olivia up first – she goes to a different school than the others. It's just down the street, which is convenient. I'd picked her up – I think she was about 11 at the time. She was so damn precious. Those bouncy red curls and her adoration for her daddy. She popped into the car with joy and hugged me tightly. Her round blue eyes looked my way and before I knew it, she'd talked me into stopping for ice cream after we picked up Ry and Anna. You know what? Before the accident, Anna wasn't really much of a snuggler at all. It's strange, isn't it? Just as Livie was beginning to grow up and not be Daddy's little girl, her sister ended up assuming the role. The sister who none of us would have ever predicted to be our Velcro girl. That's what Amelia calls her when the two of us chat about our kids – the Velcro girl. After that day… June 16th… Anna has always held on to me tightly."

"Tell me about that, Owen," Nancy nudged, aware that she was skipping the next step in the story.

"About Anna, the Velcro girl?" Owen grinned.

"Yes, tell me why you think she changed that day," Nancy requested.

Owen inhaled slowly and deeply before running his hands through his hair, "It had to have been the worst day of her life. I guess she began clinging to me because she'd been so scared at the scene. She couldn't find me, and when she did, I was a sight to behold." He paused and covered his face with his hands, mumbling from behind them, "I wish I could redo that day. Every day, I wish I could erase that day. June 16th. Sixteen car pileup, sixteen deaths at the scene. I was surrounded by sixteens." He stopped and began breathing more rapidly.

"Nice deep breaths," Nancy reminded him. "Take a second to center." Owen leaned his head back on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. His hands remained over his face, but now his fingers were clinging to his hair. Without moving, Owen apologized, "I can't continue, Nancy. I'm sorry. I can't relive it. Not right now."

"Shall we take a break or would you like me to summarize what I have in the file?" Nancy inquired, hoping to provide Owen with a sense of control over the memories of an out of control trauma.

Owen pulled his head up and removed his hands from his face. He nodded and shared, "I think I can listen. What's written there?"

"Tell me to stop if it becomes overwhelming," Nancy encouraged before reading. "This is from the police report. The driver, Dr. Owen Hunt, was heading South on I-5. His three children, ages 6, 11, and 14, were in the car with him. Driver and 14 year old son witnessed a high speed brutal impact that sent four cars cascading down past the road's shoulder and verge. Another two cars went to the left and spun but remained on the freeway. Another two vehicles slammed violently into the Jersey barrier and experienced serious damage. The car that had made the initial impact ended up enveloped by a tenth car – a large truck..."

Owen closed his eyes and nodded. With a throaty voice, he confirmed, "Yep. That was the beginning. I was maybe a mile behind the scene. I immediately hit my hazards and pulled off the freeway past the verge. I didn't want to be on the shoulder in case another car coming up from behind needed to swerve to avoid another accident."

"How did the kids react?" Nancy asked.

"Ryder saw everything. I remained calm, which helped set the tone. He threw out some Ryder-like expletive. 'What the f# $' or something. I remember calmly telling him that his reactions would affect his sisters' reactions. Anna was asleep. Olivia was half asleep and half engaged in a book. The girls didn't really know what was happening. I was able to pull off slowly. I was in control of the Enclave the entire time. They didn't react."

"What happened next?" Nancy wondered aloud.

"I took a slow breath. I bore my eyes into Ryder and insisted he stay in the car with the girls. He insisted he would accompany me," Owen explained. "I didn't want to take the time to argue. I turned to Livs and very firmly instructed her to stay with Anna. Ryder gave Livie his cell phone – she already knew how to use it – and we both told her to call my phone for any reason. She was calm in the midst of chaos. In the background, I heard more cars crash. I'm sure she heard it too, but she didn't panic."

He continued, "I exited the car and opened the back to grab my med bag. I remember being thankful that I'd been driving the Enclave all week and had moved the bag from the Boxster. Mia and I organize and stock our bags so differently – it would have been hard to use hers. I put an orange vest on Ryder and threw on a fleece I had in the back. It had a red cross on it. Ryder listened to me when I instructed him to grab random items that might be useful: a stray coat one of the kids had left in the car, a couple metal hangers, a small cooler, duct tape, a couple permanent markers."

After pausing and resting his chin in his hand, Owen nodded, "I remember specifically looking at Ryder and being incredibly clear that he needed to completely follow any directions I gave him. I told him he was in my OR and I was not Dad. I was the doctor in charge. He nodded in response, surprised to see that side of me."

"You were at the Enclave, materials in hand," Nancy reflected.

"Yeah. A semi had pulled off the verge after me. He had flares and was a large guy. He'd already called 911. I told him I was a doctor. We decided I'd head toward the victims and he'd attempt to manage the traffic until police arrived. Before I knew it, all the nearby cars had flashers on and flares were placed. The semi guy arranged a group of people to walk back and inform the traffic behind them that the situation was dire. Everyone stepped up. He sent a couple nurses and a CNA my way. There we were, in the midst of this giant accident that had now grown to sixteen cars total. Four of us with medical training and a determined teenaged kid. That was my staff. There were 50 people in those sixteen cars. The ratios were grim."

"Meanwhile, Anna and Olivia were in the Enclave," Nancy clarified.

"Yes. As far as I knew," Owen responded. "Sixteen cars, five responders. I had two sets of tapes and one of the nurses had a set, so I sent the nurses and CNA to triage. Without knowing statuses, it was difficult to know what to do next. I decided to head toward a school bus. As we ran over, I instructed Ryder to open the back door or to get the kids to do so. Anyone able to walk needed to be ushered to the shoulder of the road. I told Ry to stay with them until further notice. He impressed the hell out of me. You would've sworn his was a trained first responder. After moving the kids who could walk, he disregarded my instructions but proceeded intelligently. He walked around to the other cars, encouraging anyone else who could walk to join the kids. He cleared the field for us quickly. He left a mother with three kids who had minor injuries in charge of the uninjured and asked two guys in their mid-twenties to follow him so they could help me."

"The nursing assistant ran up to me as I was examining the bus driver. I reached for her black tape and marked the man. The impact had killed him. There were three kids near the driver who were also unresponsive… no pulse, no breath sounds. Two were obviously dead – severed body parts, let's leave it at that. I had to assume the third kid was gone. When I checked back later, she was."

"Everyone was tagged and the nurses had expertly set up an area for treatment. We still heard no sirens. Not even on the other side of the freeway. Apparently the backup was so bad in both directions that emergency crews couldn't reach us. We regrouped quickly. At that point, the count was thirteen dead, six immediate, ten delayed, three minor. Of the nineteen needing treatment, five were stuck in their cars. I explained the dangers of removing the accident victims to the guys in their 20s. They had some fence boards in the back of their truck – those were our makeshift backboards. I sent a nurse with them for medical interventions. That was three responders on five patients in four cars with three in need of immediate attention, and two delayed."

"Their assignment left me, another nurse, the assistant plus Ryder for the eleven remaining. We had three immediate – all in one car, eight delayed, no minors, seven cars total. The rest of the cars belonged to those dead on the scene or the uninjured. I had the RN go to one van where the mom had died. Her three kids were alive and one was uninjured. The CNA went to another van where three were dead, one delayed and one uninjured, then she went to a car with two delayed – they were related to one of the couples that were stuck in their car. Ryder helped three delayed to the treatment area. That left me with the most serious situation: a young couple with a 16 week old baby – all immediate."

"Owen," Nancy pointed out, "You're able to recall numbers and treatment details vividly."

"It's what I do every day," Owen shrugged.

"Hmm," Nancy pondered. "And Olivia and Anna?"

"Not much time had actually passed. I assumed they were in the Enclave," Owen explained.

"Tell me what you were doing when you saw Annabelle. Can we skip to that?" Nancy suggested.

"I was still treating the couple with the baby. We were losing the Mom – weak pulse, eyes were rolling back, profuse abdominal bleeding. By this point, Ryder was gloved and grasping Dad's heart to slow a bleed. I wasn't sure if Dad would make it either. Ry stayed stone calm and followed every direction precisely. I was working on the baby – it was a little girl, just like Nolan and Lissa's baby who would've been about the same age. The baby had a contusion on her skull – something had flown and hit her during impact. Her breathing was erratic – more from panic than anything else. Fast pulse. I almost lost her twice. She ended up surviving in the end, so did her dad."

"Mom?" Nancy inquired.

"Died in the OR… in my OR," Owen mumbled.

"That was later," Nancy clarified.

"Yeah," Owen responded blankly.

"But Anna…" Nancy reminded him gently.

"At one point, I'm working on the baby and trying to advise the nurse regarding the Mom. I looked up and there's my Annabelle. She was absolutely terrified. Quietly crying. Hugging herself," Owen recounted.

"What about Olivia?" Nancy wondered.

"She'd fallen asleep. When Anna woke up, she was disoriented and began searching for me. From what we can surmise, Anna saw many of the dead bodies, severed limbs and serious injuries on her way to find me. Everyone was so busy working, I'll bet nobody even noticed her," Owen recalled with closed eyes. "I was in full throttle doctor mode. I called to Anna to come next to me. I bellowed. I scared her. She probably thought she was in trouble, and she ran off."

"I couldn't leave the baby. I couldn't send Ryder after her or the dad would bleed out. I called for her over and over. Paramedics found her hiding in the school bus under a seat later. She would have had to have passed the four dead bodies in the front of the bus to climb inside," Owen explained with deep regret. "By the time she ran off, paramedics and choppers were beginning to arrive. The scene was organized chaos."

"When did you see Anna next?" Nancy questioned.

"Oh… hours later. I flew in with the mom and the baby. They were so close to death. I left Ryder there to call Amelia or Lynne. By that point, he'd informed Olivia about everything and insisted she stay in or near the Enclave. She did. She heard the chaos but didn't see any of it. I felt like the worst father in the world."

"But you were in the process of saving two lives," Nancy pointed out.

"A dedicated trauma surgeon, then, but still a horrible father," Owen stated stone cold. "I didn't even know where Anna was. She could have been abducted or hurt… and I left her fourteen year old brother to unscramble the situation. I'm surprised Amelia didn't leave me the second she learned what had happened."


	8. Chapter 8 - Big News

**Chapter 8**

 **An Imperfect Life – Big News**

 **Monday, January 22** **nd**

"Nolan! Are you serious?" Amelia exclaimed with joy. Her office phone was balanced on her shoulder and her hands were on her cheeks. Surprise, pride, and celebration exuded from her.

"I know," Nolan responded with a soft laugh. He was still in his own state of shock. Even though he held the letter informing him that he'd been chosen as a Rhodes Scholar, he remained stunned.

"Nole," Amelia repeated with awe. "For once in my life, I'm speechless. When do you go?"

"We're trying to figure that all out. At this point, we're looking at late September," Nolan detailed.

"And Lissa? How'd she react?" Amelia asked eagerly.

"She was pretty stunned, but now she's constantly on the internet dreaming about places to visit," Nolan shared playfully.

"What about her final year of school?" Amelia inquired.

Nolan chuckled uncomfortably and shared, "It looks like she might be able to student teach in England. We're meeting with her advisor tomorrow."

"Wonderful," Amelia squealed. "It's meant to be, Nolan. All the details are falling together. Dad is going to burst with pride."

"I want to be the one to tell him," Nolan requested.

"Absolutely. Call Patricia, though, he's going to be in and out of meetings all day. I'm not sure I'll even see him today," Amelia shared.

Later that afternoon, Lissa and Nolan called Owen together. Following Amelia's suggestion, they had set up a specific time with Patricia. When Patricia buzzed their call through to Owen, he picked up knowing who was calling. "Hey, guys. How's my favorite LA couple?"

"Hi Dads," Lissa giggled. Nolan echoed her greeting.

"To what do I owe this surprise? You seldom get onto my calendar for a call," Owen inquired.

"We have some big news to share, Dad," Nolan stated.

"Really? You're moving back to Seattle?" Owen teased.

"We're moving to England!" Lissa exclaimed, unable to hold back.

Nolan frowned, disappointed she'd announced the move. Lissa mouthed, "What?" In response, Nolan shook his head and detailed, "Oxford. I was selected as a Rhodes Scholar. We move next September."

"Woah," Owen responded with stunned happiness. "I'm thrilled, Nolan… I didn't even know you were considering the Rhodes Scholar route. What a fantastic surprise. You've made my day."

"It all kind of fell together. I'll tell you the story another time," Nolan shared.

Owen addressed his daughter-in-law, "What about student teaching, Liss?"

"Nolan thinks we can arrange to do it in England. We're meeting with my school tomorrow," Lissa announced.

"Great," Owen smiled, relieved to hear Lissa wasn't leaving school. "I'm glad you won't have to delay the next steps to become a teacher."

"We're hoping so, anyway," Nolan interjected. "We'll see how willing St. Mary's will be to work with the situation."

"What about the house? Are you going to sell it?" Owen inquired.

A pregnant pause hung in the air long enough that Owen cleared his throat and sought to confirm, "Guys? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, we're here," Lissa replied softly. As she spoke, Nolan stepped away and headed to the bedroom.

Nancy knocked on Owen's office door before peeking inside. Owen motioned to her and mouthed that he was speaking with Nolan. Nancy smiled and waved as she sat in one of Owen's guest chairs. Not knowing Nolan was no longer on the line, Owen offered, "Aunt Nancy's been here this week, and she just walked in. Want to say hi?" Owen handed the phone to Nancy and turned his chair to gaze toward the cat walk and out the windows. He wanted to be thrilled about the Rhodes news, but he couldn't imagine the kids moving to England. Los Angeles still seemed too far away, even after four years.

"How's my handsome nephew?" Nancy queried.

"It's Lissa, Aunt Nancy. Nolan stepped away. Let me go find him," Lissa explained. Lissa and Nancy made small talk until the phone was passed off to Nolan. He stepped outside and spoke to his aunt alone.

After a brief chat, Nancy reached over and hung up the phone. "Big news, huh, Dad?"

"Yeah," Owen nodded as he spun his chair around to face his sister-in-law.

"Are you ready for more big news? I'm finished with my analysis of Annabelle's challenges," Nancy announced.

"Why not?" Owen huffed as he threw his arms up to either side. He leaned toward his phone and buzzed Patricia, requesting that she locate Amelia.

Both Nancy and Owen attempted to make small talk while they waited for Amelia.

"I really can't thank you enough for spending so much time with us and with Anna," Owen shared.

"It's been fantastic to be with your family. You have an incredible group of kids," Nancy admitted. "Don't tell Amy I said this, but I've been impressed. She's actually grown up and become a responsible adult."

Owen grinned in response, not sure of the appropriate verbal response. Just as the silence was beginning to seem awkward, Amelia walked in. "Hello, all." As she sat down, she looked at Nancy and grinned, "Any findings?"

"Many," Nancy answered. She opened her briefcase and pulled out two files. One was thick, and the other held three small packets. Nancy opened the smaller folder and handed a packet to each parent. "Let's begin with the summary."

Amelia and Owen caught one another's eyes and grinned uncomfortably.

Nancy began, "I concur with the ADD diagnosis. She shows nearly every sign. Anna's intensity, turn on a dime moods, and more mild breakdowns prior to the accident fit that finding. She can be fidgety when she's not hyper-focused, and she is easily distracted. I know she seems highly organized, but she goes to painstaking lengths to appear that way and to create systems that work for her."

"Wow," Amelia blinked as she took in the information. "I've always assumed her organization was just an intense personality quirk."

"I'll let you read the details on the various tests on your own. I summarized the ones performed in the past as well as either my interpretation of those tests or additional information I obtained over the last week through observation and conversation," Nancy summarized.

"Should we keep her on methylphenidate?" Amelia wondered.

"Absolutely not. I don't want to see her on any form of Ritalin, but let's discuss medications once we've made our way through the report," Nancy stated. Amelia couldn't help but hear the words as coming from her bossy big sister. She grimaced as Nancy turned the page.

"The accident three years ago had a major impact on Anna. Similar to how a child re-experiences grief at various forms of development, Anna appears to be processing the realities of the accident as she matures. From a clinical perspective, fear of abandonment has been and continues to be a significant feature in her ongoing symptoms. In addition to that, Anna saw carnage most adults would have difficulty witnessing," Nancy detailed as she pulled a paper out of the larger file and set it before Owen and Amelia. "I asked Anna to draw some pictures. This is the first one. The task was to draw the strongest and most difficult memory from the event. As you can see, this character is detailed, takes up most of the page, and is covered in blood. That's her depiction of you at the site, Owen. Anna drew herself on the other side of the paper, all alone. Then she added a very small bus in the opposite corner."

Owen pursed his lips and turned his chair away. Concerned about Owen's reaction, Amelia suggested, "Maybe we could take a break."

"No," Owen sternly responded with his back to Amelia and Nancy. "Keep talking. I can still listen."

"Let's continue with the pictures another time," Nancy stated. "Given Anna's age, she is still developing and maturing. Therefore, some diagnoses simply cannot be pinpointed. I'm unable to definitively and fully diagnose the impact the accident had on Anna. Without a doubt, a PTSD diagnosis is certain. However, it is possible that she experienced a psychotic break. If she happens to have a predisposition to bipolar disorder, which we have no way of knowing right now, the accident may have triggered developments in that direction. Neither can clearly be confirmed at her age and with her current behavior. Over time, we'll seek to rule those out," Nancy rambled. Her words continued as she outlined her findings and emphasized specific portions of the report. Amelia and Owen both listened with simultaneous confusion and concern. Despite their vast medical knowledge, the two were hearing the report through easily overwhelmed parental ears.

Nancy summarized, "I recommend both CBT and play therapy – each at least once a week. Initially, I'd like the two of you to meet weekly with the therapist as well. I know that's burdensome for your schedules, but how you parent Anna through this will play a significant role in her healing. Also, although Anna does not qualify for a sensory dysfunction diagnosis, I recommend pursuing occupational therapy to help her learn self-calming skills. I can confer with an OT for a treatment plan. Further, let's try a mood stabilizer and eliminate the Ritalin. The next step would be to add an SSRI for anxiety. Any questions?"

"Nanc… this is so comprehensive," Amelia noted with a throaty voice. "We can't thank you enough for the summaries, analysis, and report."

"I'm glad you asked me. Anna has many features that only appear once or twice a day. They may have never been observed in a clinical setting," Nancy mentioned. "I wish you'd contacted me sooner."

"Me too," Amelia admitted as she slowly closed her eyes and reached for Owen's hand. Although he remained with his back to her, he grasped her hand and squeezed.

"Why didn't you plan this in advance?" Ryder whined.

"Dad and I received some detailed news today and need some time together tonight. We had no way of knowing," Amelia explained.

"I've got a date," Ryder protested.

"I understand, Ryder," Amelia stated firmly. Continuing in a parental voice, she insisted, "However, you need to step up tonight. No way around it, my friend."

"Friend? Friends don't make friends cancel dates," Ryder protested.

"Mothers do, I suppose," Amelia responded.

Ryder huffed, knowing full well he was stuck babysitting for the evening. Desperate, he tried pulling out any challenge possible, "Why can't Lynne do it? Isn't that what you pay her to do?"

"Ryder Blake," Amelia snapped, "You didn't just refer to Lynne as hired help, right? She may be compensated, but she's a member of the family. I don't ever want to hear such an arrogant attitude come out of your mouth."

"Woah…sorry. Geez, Mom, I was just asking," Ryder attempted to defend himself.

"Your tone sounded otherwise, Ryder," Amelia insisted. "Listen, tonight is your fortunate opportunity to spend quality time with your siblings. Let's approach the evening with a positive attitude."

"I know I'm stuck with the Fab Four, Mom, but please don't ask me to become Mr. Joyful. Can I at least have Allie over?" Ryder begged.

"Oh, Ryder… I dunno," Amelia sighed.

"Nolan always had Lissa over. All the time, and I'm talking about before she lived here," Ryder argued.

Amelia looked at the clock and realized Owen would be in a meeting for another hour. She needed to make the call on her own. With hesitation, she described, "She can come over for dinner and stay until 7:00 as long as she drives or won't need a ride home."

"She drives. Thanks, Mom. Love you, love you," Ryder celebrated.

"No closed doors. No being alone together. You're primary job is babysitting not entertaining a chick," Amelia reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah. Deal. No problem," Ryder bubbled over.


	9. Chapter 9 - Money

**Chapter 9**

 **An Imperfect Life – Money**

 **Monday, January 22** **nd**

"You're in charge of dinner, Curly," Ryder informed Olivia.

"Don't call me 'Curly.' I don't like it," Olivia insisted.

"Are you going to make dinner?" Ryder pressed.

"I guess so," Olivia sighed.

"Then I'll consider a new name," Ryder grinned as he ran his fisted hand over Olivia's curls and left them in chaos. Olivia rolled her eyes, but knew better than to react. If she protested, he'd only become worse.

"The twins are mine. I need sous-chefs," Olivia declared.

"Sous-chefs? What are you making? Mac et fromage?" Ryder cackled. "Fine with me, but you're managing Anna on your own."

"That works," Olivia's perky voice responded, "She'll be fine."

Behind them, the doorbell rang and Lucas ran at full speed out of nowhere to answer the door. "My turn! My turn!" he bellowed as the dogs barked and followed him.

"Dude," Ryder buzzed quietly, "Chill. It's Allie."

With the door wide open, Lucas questioned loudly, "Who's Allie?"

Allie laughed and patted Lucas' head, "I am. What's your name?"

"Lucas Hunt," Lucas disclosed factually as he bent his neck to look up at Ryder's date.

"Nice to meet you, Lucas Hunt. I'm Allie Adams," Allie responded as she held out her hand.

Lucas shook his head and suggested with a coy grin, "Let's hug instead."

"Ok," Allie chuckled as she glanced at Ryder, who was covering his eyes and smacking his forehead with his hand.

She bent down and hugged Luke. He wrapped her in a bear hug and swayed back and forth as he announced, "Ryder always finds pretty girls. You are super hot and look like a Disney Princess."

Mortified, Ry ignored Lucas' first statement and instructed, "Hands off, Little Man." He set his hand on Allie's shoulder and held his other hand out like the gentleman. Ryder's siblings rarely witnessed such polished behavior from Ryder, and each stared as they took in the sight. As Allie took Ryder's hand, he enveloped her in an extended kiss.

Sensing she was being watched, Allie opened one eye and mumbled mid-kiss, "Ry… they're all watching us."

He kissed her once more before placing his arm around Allie's waist. "This is Allie. Be nice to her," he introduced as he led her to the couch.

"Do I get to know their names?" Allie teased.

"Oh, sure," Ryder shrugged. "Olivia is the older redhead, the ginger twin is Anna, the other twin is Ria, and, well, you met Lucas."

"Three gingers – that's a ton of red hair," Allie observed with a gentle smile.

"I'm the cutest one," Lucas declared with confidence as he appeared out of nowhere directly in front of Allie.

"And the most humble," Ryder added with a groan.

While Lucas stole Allie's attention away from Ryder, Olivia and the twins were whipping up dinner. Before long, everyone sat down to eat. Without thought, Ryder, Olivia, Anna and Lucas filled up the lake side of the table by sitting in their regular spots. Owen and Amelia's seats were vacant and Ria sat across from Anna. Ryder spotted the arrangement and offered Owen's seat to Allie as he took Amelia's seat to balance out the table.

Lucas, self-appointed host, patted Allie's hand and explained with a starry grin, "That's usually my dad's seat, but you can sit there tonight." Then he turned to Ryder. Like an annoying little brother, he asked, "Did Mom say you could sit in her spot?"

"No," Ryder responded flatly as he offered a death stare and raised one eyebrow.

"Cause I don't think you should. You're not a guest or anything," Lucas reasoned.

"But I am in charge tonight, Squirt. We're all fine right where we are," Ryder insisted. Lucas sighed and focused on dinner.

Anna piped up, "Allie, most nights, we play a game at dinner to share about our days. Do you know highs and lows?"

"Umm… I think so," Allie muttered. "Is that where you share the best and worst part of your day?"

"Mmm hmm," Lucas chimed in. "I'll start and show you how." Unconsciously sticking his tongue out the side of his mouth as he thought, Luke paused and then shared, "My high was meeting our new friend, Allie, and my low was being sent to the hall."

"What was that about?" Ryder pressed, as if filling in for Owen.

"Nothin'," Lucas shrugged. "Your turn, Anna."

"Wait a minute," Ryder maintained. "Lucas, why were you sent to the hall?"

"I don't have to tell you because you're not my mom or dad," Lucas sounded.

Ryder began to stand up and Lucas cracked. "Ok… I wasn't staying in my seat during work time."

"Hmm," Ryder responded before turning to Anna, "Ok, Anna, now you can go."

"Nuh uh," Anna protested. "We always go the other way. It's Allie's turn."

"Let's go opposite today," Lucas pushed.

Anna flared her eyes at her little brother and tightened her jaw, "No, Lucas. That's not the way we do it. We have to do it the regular way."

"Allie, want to go next?" Ryder invited gently, praying Anna would calm down.

"My high is being here," she began as she flirted with Ryder. "My low? It was a pretty good day. I can't think of a low."

With a huff and folded arms, Anna growled, "You have to have one."

"Her low is happening right now. Stop bugging her," Ryder revealed.

"She has to follow the rules, Ryder. I'm not bugging her, I'm telling her how to participate," Anna stated emphatically.

Realizing the tension, Allie interjected, "My low was trying to find your house. The roads are really twisty around here."

Ryder smiled with relief and offered quickly, "My high is every moment with Allie and my low is when I'm away from her."

"Oh, blech…that's nauseating," Olivia remarked with disgust. "Get real, lover boy."

"Muah, muah, muah," Lucas teased with a giggle as the twins laughed. "Allie, I think Ryder likes you."

"I like him," Allie responded with a wide smile. Ryder grinned and hoped he wasn't blushing. Internally, he asked himself why he thought bringing Allie and siblings together was a good plan.

Ria quietly queried, "Can I take my turn?" Everyone looked at her and stated, "My high was playing soccer at recess and my low was my leg hurting."

"Does it hurt now?" Ryder questioned with concern.

"Yeah," Ria resigned. "I'll put it up when I'm done eating."

Anna explained, "My sister has Spina Bifida and can't feel part of one of her legs."

"That's my story," Ria pointed out softly. Anna stuck her tongue out in response. Ryder cleared his throat, hoping his Owen impression would be effective.

Allie peered down the table and told Ria, "My sister has Cerebral Palsy and is in a wheelchair."

"Can I meet her?" Ria requested.

"Sure, someday," Allie grinned as she caught Ryder's eye.

Already tired of Ryder and Allie's flirting, Olivia sat up straighter and announced, "I hate having to skip Nolan and Lissa."

"That's my older brother and his wife," Ryder explained.

"They live in LA," Lucas shared, happy to find an excuse to talk to Allie.

"My high was dance class," Olivia resumed. "My low was dance class ending."

"That was my high too," Anna followed. "Can we have the same one?" Olivia nodded with a smile and Anna continued, "My low was coming home and finding out Mom and Dad wouldn't be home." She looked down with a forlorn expression.

"But you got me, instead. I'm more fun, aren't I?" Ryder boasted.

Anna looked up and wiggled her lips as she pondered. "Sometimes, I guess," she responded unconvincingly.

By the time the game was through, everyone had finished eating. While Olivia and Anna cleared the table, Allie insisted on helping with the dishes. Lucas, smitten, tagged along to assist.

Ryder knelt down in front of Ria and lowered his eyebrows. He placed his hands on top of her sweats and rubbed her lower leg. "Your leg isn't supposed to hurt, Ree Ree," he conveyed. "Where is the pain?"

Ria showed him the site, which was just above her knee, and tried to make light of her discomfort, "I'm fine, Ryder."

"Is it bruised? Did you bump into something or fall?" he questioned as he tried to loosen the tightened muscles above her knee. Ria shook her head. "You're really tight. Maybe I should call Mom and Dad."

"No, it's okay," Ria stressed. "I'll go hang out on my bed and ice it."

Ryder insisted on carrying her upstairs and set her up with stacks of pillows. When he returned downstairs, he pulled Olivia aside. Promising to pay her, Ryder informed her that she'd need to supervise bath and bedtime. That way, he calculated, he'd be left alone with Allie downstairs.

Once Olivia and the littles were upstairs, Ryder settled onto the sofa with Allie. "I'm glad you could come over. I'm really sorry our date ended up so screwed," Ryder shared.

Allie raised a shoulder as she ran her hand along Ryder's upper leg, "No problem. It was fun to meet your siblings. Watching them haze you was hilarious."

"Yeah," Ryder rolled his eyes. "They're hysterical."

"Your family is huge," Allie commented.

"How big is your family?" Ryder wondered aloud.

"My older sister, Amanda, and me. My parents lost a couple babies before we were born, so whenever anyone asks my mom how many kids she has, she says four. In a way, I guess I have two brothers," Allie detailed.

"Nolan, my older brother, he and his wife have had two miscarriages. It sucked," Ryder disclosed. "She was four months along with the first one. The baby had little hands and looked human and everything."

"My parents went through that with the second boy – I'm not sure how long my mom had been pregnant. The first boy died of SIDs. He was like a month old," Allie expressed with a touch of sadness. "My poor mom, it's still tough for her."

As Ryder leaned in to kiss Allie, he whispered, "But they ended up with a gorgeous baby girl." Allie reciprocated the kiss and the two began making out. The two lost themselves in each other's arms. They had no idea about the time. Locking their focus solely on one another, neither heard the garage as Owen drove in. Amelia was right behind him in the Enclave.

When he stepped in, Owen offered his customary throat clearing and said, "Hi guys."

Ryder immediately pulled away and straightened his shirt as if Owen wouldn't see him scramble. "Hey Dad," he spoke with a trembling voice. "This is Allie. Allie, this is my dad."

"Dr. Hunt," Owen offered as he walked over and shook Allie's hand. "Very nice to meet you, Allie."

"Hello," Amelia sang as she filed in from the garage.

"Mom, hey," Ryder gulped, recognizing that he and Allie had lost track of time. "This is Allie."

"Hi, Allie," Amelia waved from the kitchen as she put leftovers in the fridge. "I'm Amelia."

"Dr. Shepherd," Owen interjected and corrected. Everyone smirked awkwardly at one another, and Ryder shifted in his seat.

After a brief silence, Allie caught Ryder's eye and explained, "How'd it get to be 8:30? I'm sorry to hurry off, but I need to get going."

Once she was gone, Ryder remained on the couch hoping to hide the bulge in his jeans. "Mr. Hunt," Amelia grumbled at Ryder as Owen stood behind her with folded arms.

"Yeah?" he responded innocently.

"I said 7:00," Amelia glared seriously.

"I thought it was 8. I remember you saying 8, Mom. Didn't you?" Ryder fumbled, trying to soften the time overage.

Amelia raised her eyebrows and exhaled, "I said 7 because the littles needed baths."

"Livs dealt with all that," Ryder assured his mom. "She took care of baths and washing hair and bedtime. She did a great job."

"And you'd know this because you could telepathically sense it while making out with Allie?" Owen prodded.

"There was no blood and no screaming. I figured those were positive signs," Ryder attempted to joke.

Amelia glanced at Owen and then turned back to Ryder, "I'm not paying you for tonight. If you'd honored my boundaries, you would've made $75. Instead, you're getting zero."

"C'mon!" Ryder yelled angrily.

"Head on up to bed, Ry," Owen instructed flatly as he put his arm around Amelia.

"It's 8:30, Dad," Ryder emphasized with indignation.

"Yep," Owen nodded.

Protesting as he stomped up the stairs, Ryder huffed, "Sent to bed at 8:30?! Not being paid?! That is totally unfair. Completely sucks. Count me out next time you need last minute babysitting."

"Enough," Owen called out. "Goodnight, Ryder."

Once Ryder was upstairs, Amelia winked at Owen. Unaffected by Ryder's venting, she proposed, "Hey, Cutie, wanna make out on the couch?"

Owen raised his eyebrows and grinned from ear to ear, "Maybe more than that, Beautiful."

"I'm not that kind of girl," Amelia giggled as she grasped Owen's hand and led him to the couch.

"Ha," Owen balked as he flashed his eyebrows, "You're far more naughty than that."

Earlier in the day, once Nolan concluded his conversation with Nancy, he walked back into the house to put the phone in its place. While he didn't look angry, he remained silent. Lissa could tell he was stewing.

"What's wrong?" Lissa inquired with a hint of agitation in her voice. Her period was right around the corner, which would become obvious as the conversation evolved.

Nolan glanced over and exhaled loudly, "I'm trying to blow it off. Can you give me some time?"

"No," Lissa insisted. "If you're upset with me, I want to know."

"It's no big deal, Liss. Something hit me funny. I don't want to discuss it," Nolan insisted. He knew he shouldn't be upset that Lissa spilled the beans about moving to England when the two of them were talking to Owen. Even so, he was disappointed that she'd stolen his thunder.

"Why?" she pushed.

"Larissa," Nolan snapped abruptly as he held up his hand. "Not. Now."

"Well, you're the brilliant one," she huffed. "I'll obey your wise orders." With that, Lissa withdrew into the living room and plunged onto the couch. Picking up the remote, she turned on a Lifetime movie and stretched out.

Perturbed by her words, Nolan stood in the kitchen and paced the small space until he could no longer contain himself. He walked calmly into the living room doorway and leaned against it as he studied his wife. She ignored Nolan's presence, even after he cleared his throat to get her attention. Increasingly seething, Nolan stepped between the TV and the sofa.

"Could you please move? I'm watching that," Lissa requested coolly.

Nolan turned around and turned off the TV, then proceeded to the sofa. By the time he sat down, Lissa had turned the TV back on using the remote.

Firmly, Nolan insisted, "Give me the remote, please."

"No," Lissa argued as she blew upward toward her forehead.

"Larissa Lorraine Tremblay-Hunt," Nolan huffed her entire name for the first time in their marriage. His tone was stern and parental.

"You sound like you're speaking to a child, Nolan," Lissa quipped as she rolled her eyes.

"Perhaps because you are acting like one, _dear,_ " Nolan informed her.

"What's your problem?" Lissa pushed with an edge.

Nolan folded his arms and regarded his wife. Her uncharacteristic petulance was deeply annoying. "Larissa, we don't watch TV during the week and we never have. I'd prefer that the TV stay off."

"I need a break. I'm making an exception," Larissa explained with a nonchalant song in her voice.

"And I'm saying no," Nolan simmered.

Lissa turned her head from the TV and her eyes bored into her husband. "The TV is _your_ sole decision?"

"It's certainly not _yours,_ " Nolan sputtered. On one level, Nolan could not believe the stupidity of their argument. On another level, he acknowledged that the fight was not about the words being spoken – it was about power and control. He was accustomed to having the final word in their relationship, but Lissa was not following their unwritten rules.

Lissa left the TV on, set the remote on the sofa, and walked to the bedroom. She threw on her shoes and searched for her purse. As she stepped back into the living room, the TV was already off. Nolan was holding her purse, which had happened to be on the floor near the sofa. "Looking for this?"

"Yes," Lissa responded flatly. "May I have it?"

"Where are you going?" Nolan questioned as he held it out for her.

"Out," she replied as she grasped the bag and put it over her shoulder. "Do I need a hall pass?"

"I'd prefer you stay," Nolan stressed with a kind tone.

"Mmm," Lissa responded, unsure what to do or say. In her own mind, she was boiling. She also realized that her recent arguments with Nolan were rooted in power struggles. Torn internally, Lissa struggled to decide upon her next action. Her lifelong view of marriage, where the husband was the leader and had the final word, had not changed in her heart. However, as she'd matured and found her voice, she desired further input and autonomy. Deep inside, Lissa also knew that Nolan had never and would never abuse the authority she entrusted to him.

Nolan ran his hand through his hair and his tired eyes glanced up at his wife, "Larissa, if you want or need to leave, then do what you need to do. I'll be disappointed, and I don't think it's a healthy pattern. This storming off in a fit helps nothing, but storm off if you must." He fell onto the back of the couch.

"I'll be in our bedroom," Lissa muttered. Trying to center herself, Lissa started the shower and began undressing. Once in the shower, she leaned against the tile and sobbed. If she'd been asked why she was crying, she wouldn't have been able to answer. All she knew was that she felt a strong push and pull in terms of how she and Nolan had arranged the pecking order in their home.

Meanwhile, Nolan sat down at the dining room table and began working on bills. Realizing he needed his glasses, which were in the bedroom, Nolan walked to the other end of the house and knocked on the bedroom door. From the shower, Lissa heard the knock and asked what he needed.

"My glasses. I'm sorry, do you mind if I come in?" Nolan requested.

"You can grab your glasses, that's fine. I'm in the shower," Lissa commented.

When he stepped in, Nolan fell onto the bed. He reached for his glasses and wrote a quick note that he left on Lissa's pillow. The note read, _I love you_.

Back in the dining room, Nolan counted out cash and placed it in an envelope for Lissa like he did each week. With a pencil in his mouth from side to side, he analyzed the Visa bill and marked a few charges using a nearby pen. Setting that bill aside, he proceeded to review a statement from one of his investments.

While studying the paperwork, Lissa came in the room. Wearing her robe, her hair dripping wet, Lissa was holding the note. She sighed, "Notes like this make it really difficult to stay angry with you."

Smiling from behind the pencil, Nolan turned and handed her the envelope. Inquiring unclearly, he held the Visa statement and asked as if nothing had transpired between them, "Do you know what these charges are about?"

Lissa grabbed her hair and widened her eyes with exasperation. "Nolan," she hollered with disbelief. "Hello? We're in the middle of a fight and you want to discuss the Visa statement?"

Shrugging, Nolan kept the pencil in his mouth and defended himself, "I thought everything was cool. You just said it was hard to stay mad."

Lissa grabbed the statement and informed him, "The first one was a parking garage. I went into the city the other day to look for yoga pants. The second one was for the yoga pants, and the third was for the coffee and snack I had after I bought the pants."

"Ok," Nolan accepted as he wrote details on the statement. Joking, he inquired, "Twelve bucks for coffee and a snack? What'd you order?"

Not realizing he was teasing, Lissa leaned against the wall and grumbled, "Argh…the way you control the money."

"What do you mean?" Nolan questioned as he set the pencil on the table and stood up. He placed a hand on Lissa's arm and looked at her with concern.

"I don't want to have to request cash if I spend what you give me each week. I hate that," Lissa's voice trailed off.

"There's never been any limit on the card. You can always charge whatever you need to buy. You know that, right?" Nolan confirmed.

"I know. It's not about the card. It feels weird having to come to you every time I need $10 for some fee at school or when I want a little cash to buy Girl Scout cookies," Lissa detailed.

Nolan pulled back and looked at Lissa. He couldn't help but laugh because he'd never intentionally attempted to control her spending, "That totally makes sense. I'm sorry I never thought about that." He smiled down at Lissa and rubbed his index finger under her chin, "We can set up an ATM card. Then I don't have to go through the hassle of getting cash when you ask for it. It's a win-win." He shook his head slowly and communicated with regret and sadness, "Liss… Have you felt like this since we've been married?"

Lissa laughed, slightly embarrassed that her seemingly heavy concern was so easily addressed. She admitted, "Actually, yes."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" he asked with disappointment.

Wrapping her arms around her body, Lissa shriveled into herself unconsciously and murmured, "I feel weird talking about money with you. I know you're always saying it's our money, but I'm not used to having much, Nolan. I just… I dunno… it was uncomfortable to even think about saying something."

Hugging her, Nolan rubbed his cheek along her forehead, "Babe, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. Never forget, what's mine is already yours."

"What about the remote?" Lissa teased with a coy grin.

Nolan shook his head playfully as he picked her up and brought her face up to his. "Shorty," he chuckled before kissing her cheeks and then her lips. "You're driving me crazy."

"I love you, Nolan James Tremblay-Hunt, even if you address me using my entire name," Lissa grinned, still in his arms.

Sliding her body so her feet touched the floor, Nolan laughed and kissed the top of her head, "I love you, too, Blondie. You mean everything to me."


	10. Chapter 10 - Bear Hugs

**Chapter 10**

 **An Imperfect Life – Bear Hugs**

 **Friday, January 26** **th**

"Is it strange that we steal away to an on-call room to talk about the kids?" Amelia questioned as Owen, fully clothed in scrubs, spooned her from behind. The two were snuggled tightly on the miniscule bottom bunk, resting and thankful for the break from the busy afternoon in the ER.

Chuckling, Owen admitted, "Strange? Yeah, probably." He nuzzled his five o'clock shadow against her cheek and hummed with contentment. "But if I get to lie here with you in uninterrupted peace and quiet, I'll talk about anything."

"Anything?" she teased. "Hmm… what do I need to bring up that I've been saving for just the right moment?"

Owen sputtered, "What? Please tell me you're joking." He ran his hand through his hair and yawned, "I need a shower. There's no way I'll make it through this shift awake."

"You know what we need? We need a co-ed shower in this hospital – in a private bathroom with a locking door, of course," she flirted.

"Amelia Shepherd, if we had that, there would be a long line for it and nobody treating patients," Owen responded in jest.

She turned onto her other side and stroked Owen's jawline as she gazed into his light blue eyes, "You'd have special privileges… you know, as Chief."

Leaning down, Owen kissed her repeatedly. His hand slid under her scrub top and caressed her breasts tenderly. Within moments, she had slid onto her back. He remained halfway on his side and had maneuvered halfway on top of her. Her hands grasped his muscular arms as the two long themselves in one another.

As if on cue, just as Owen pulled his scrub top off and threw it on the ground, his pager went off. "Dammit," he sighed. "Let me look. Maybe it can wait." Amelia smiled knowingly certain the situation was crucial – Owen's pages were always urgent.

He rolled over her and stretched to reach his pager. The readout made his next move clear: _Incoming chopper. MVA, poss TBI. Mult internal._

Owen hopped up and glanced at Amelia with a frown, "You're about to be paged. Let's go."

She stretched, pretending for one last second that she had all the time in the world. Her pager sounded and communicated, _Chopper. Poss TBI. Alt consciousness._

His long legs strode quickly down the hall as Amelia nearly ran to keep up with him. After pushing the elevator button multiple times, he looked over and attempted to smile at his wife. He mouthed, _I'm sorry._

Amelia, in the midst of throwing her hair into a ponytail, mumbled with a smirk, "Not your doing. Maybe we'll get to operate together."

When the elevator doors opened, a trauma nurse and a 3rd year resident were already aboard. "Roof?" Owen confirmed as both nodded. "Ok, let's brace ourselves. This sounds grizzly." Although everyone heard him, nobody responded. Impatiently, Owen focused on the elevator's floor display and tapped his foot. He reached for Amelia's hand and grasped it, nearly pulling her out of the elevator when he ran to the chopper.

The Seattle rain poured down, instantly drenching the medical team. The EMTs began shouting vitals and concerns over the rotor blade noise. _Oh, God, no,_ Amelia thought when she saw the patient and his bloodied body. _He couldn't be more than 18._ Owen commanded the EMTs, "Follow us down. There's no time to wait."

The medical team propelled the stretcher toward the elevator and immediately began assessing the patient as they descended to the ER floor. "Owen, respiratory insufficiency," Amelia called out as she listened to the patient's lungs.

"Hypovolemic shock," Owen added before inquiring, "Consciousness en route?"

"In and out, Doc. Mostly unconscious. Some moaning, unable to speak," the EMT answered.

"Michael," Owen instructed the nurse, "We're heading directly to the OR. Find out which ones are open."

"I need a head CT before we do anything," Amelia protested.

Quietly, Owen whispered, "He's bleeding out, Shepherd."

"That won't matter if an aneurysm ruptures," Amelia pointed out with raised eyebrows.

"Make sure there's a portable CT in the OR, Michael," Owen added.

"Yes, Sir," Michael nodded as he spoke to the OR.

The elevator stopped short of the ER level and opened a floor higher. Owen and Amelia both threw their white coats off and tossed them toward a nurses' station counter as they ran by.

"Get the ER team up here – we'll need hands. No time to scrub. Let's gown and go," Owen led.

The team surrounded the patient as a neuro nurse rapidly set up the CT. "Abdominal and spinal CT as long as we're scanning," Amelia ordered.

"Get a full trauma panel and get ready to intubate," Owen called out as the CT scanned.

"We've got eyes, people!" Amelia informed the team. She leaned down as the CT was wheeled away, "Hey… I'm Dr. Shepherd. You've been in a serious accident. You're at the hospital. We're taking care of you. What's your name?"

The patient moaned incoherently before coughing.

"No time, Mia," Owen responded, unintentionally using his pet name for his wife even though they had covenanted to refer to one another as 'doctor' at the hospital. In a moment of crisis, sometimes they slipped and neglected the formalities.

"Pat," the patient barely sounded. Amelia repeated the name to confirm and looked Pat in the eye, "We've got you, Pat. We've got you. The anesthesiologist is going to sedate you. Give my hand a squeeze as you go to sleep." Weakly, the patient loosely grasped her hand.

"Let's go," Owen instructed as he handed the resident the intubation tool and tube. With finesse, the student began the process. Adding a specific reminder, Owen stated, "Thrust the jaw, align the spine." The resident nodded as she followed the Chief's instructions.

"Excellent work, Leason, excellent," Owen praised, even amidst the serious trauma.

"Doctors, we have a call from your son on the line," one of the OR nurses announced.

Simultaneously, the couple answered, "Which one?"

"Ryder," the nurse specified.

"We'll call him back," Owen replied.

"He insists it's urgent," the nurse pressed.

Amelia glanced at Owen as she reviewed the CT results and he shook his head. Their patient was far too unsteady to waste even 15 seconds for a brief call. She requested, "Explain we're both in a trauma. Have him wait just a minute."

"Airway's in, patient sedated, starting ex-lap," Owen announced. "Shepherd, what's your status?"

"No apparent bleeds. Neuro exam inconclusive. Strong pupillary responses and corneal reflexes. Possible frontal lobe paralysis. Impaired grasp response. I want to see his spine. Do what you need to do," she shared as she stepped to the side of the OR to speak with Ryder.

"Right," Owen agreed. He turned to the EMTs who had followed them into the OR, "Do we know any further details from the scene?"

One EMT stepped out to call the personnel on site while the other responded, "This kid was the first one treated. We didn't stay to get more of the story. Kid hit his head on the window and window was gone when we got there. From the looks of things, he was thrown around onto the headrest from the airbag. We pulled him out with a board – was hard to tell if he could move because he was in and out of consciousness."

"Was he conscious when you encountered him?" Owen asked the EMT as he changed his mind and told the nurses, "We're doing a laparotomy. There's too much bleeding to go in laparoscopically." Turning to the resident, he ordered, "Leason, you're my second set of hands. Retract and suction unless I give other instructions." The resident was already in place and suctioning as she awaited further direction.

"Semi," the EMT offered.

The second EMT entered, "The scene is anxious, Doc. A bunch of kids. We don't have much information to add at this point except that the kid's name is Patrick Douglas. Seventeen."

Meanwhile, the nurse had handed Amelia the phone. "Ryder…" she greeted. "Two minutes."

"Mom, holy crap. I'm… I'm ok," Ryder panted. His tightened voice spoke rapidly.

"What do you mean? What happened?" Amelia attempted to clarify.

Sounding almost shocky, Ryder responded, "Umm… umm… it all happened so fast, but I'm ok."

Amelia nodded and peered over to Owen, who briefly glimpsed over and lowered his eyebrows with concern. "Ryder… listen. Listen to me," Amelia consoled at a snail's pace. "Ry… take a deep breath. Tell me what happened."

"A bunch of us were leaving indoor soccer. There was a huge accident," he began.

"But you're ok?" Amelia hoped to confirm.

"I think so," Ryder guessed. "The Mustang is banged up. I'm sorry, Mom. To avoid the pile up, I moved to the side and bumped a Jersey barrier."

"I'm not worried about the car, Ry," Amelia clarified. "I want you to come to the hospital to be checked out. Was anyone else in the car with you?"

"No. I was supposed to pick up Olivia. I called her. She's catching a ride with a friend's mom," he explained. "The littles are home with Lynne."

"Dad and I are in surgery and will be for quite a while. Ask one of the responders if you can ride in with another patient," Amelia suggested. "If they give you static, respectfully let them know Dad's position."

"Mom," Ryder stammered, "A chopper came. It's a mess here."

"I know, Ry… I know," Amelia reassured him.

"Clamp it!" Owen hollered from the other side of the room.

"Sweetie, I need to go. I'll try to get down to the ER. You're ok," Amelia comforted.

"Love you, Mom," Ryder confessed.

Tears formed in Amelia's eyes upon hearing the now rare words that used to be so customary. "I love you, too, Ryder. Very much."

She hung up the phone and walked rapidly to the table. "How's it going?"

"He's a mess internally. I need to get a hold of this bleeding. He was cyanotic. Leason spotted and repaired liver and abdominal lacs – probably saved the kid's life. He had a pneumothorax. I performed a thorocenteses. We're pushing blood," Owen reported rapidly as Leason smiled while continuing her efforts. "It's not good, but we're doing what we can."

"Spinal CT is clear. Do you need me?" Amelia queried since her area of specialization had been analyzed and cleared.

As he operated, Owen nodded then questioned, "What's up with Ry?"

"No worries," Amelia purported. "Page me if you need me."

"Will do," Owen promised without shifting his focus from the patient.

Amelia pulled off her trauma gown, scrubbed out, and breathed deeply. She walked to the nurses' station and retrieved her lab coat before heading to the ER.

"How's the chopper kid?" Karev inquired when Amelia exited the elevator.

Frowning, Amelia disclosed, "Pretty serious, but there's hope. My son here yet?"

"No," Alex shook his head. "Which one?"

"Ryder. He was in a small accident," she told him.

"Dude," Alex popped off. "I'll stay down here if you want."

"Sure," Amelia nodded. "He's fine, or at least sounded fine. A little disoriented, but that's understandable - he was in a car accident."

"Hey," Jackson greeted as he approached the duo and regarded Amelia with concern. "Ryder's here. Did you know he was headed in?"

Amelia nodded, "Where is he?"

"Let's sit down first," Jackson insisted as he mouthed the treatment room information to Alex. Putting his arm around Amelia, he led her to an empty room and pursed his lips.

"What? I just talked to him, Jackson. What's wrong?" Amelia stuttered.

"He's going to be fine," Jackson assured her before pausing.

"Going to be? What do you mean?" Amelia shuddered.

"Derek's with him. He has a sizable hematoma on his forehead. His neck hurts and there's a headache. He's pretty banged up and has some cuts and scratches. I just sutured a lac on his forearm," Jackson detailed.

Amelia covered her mouth with her hands and furrowed her brow. With a pleading and inquiring gaze, she sought more information.

"He's going to be fine," Jackson reassured her, realizing he was now interacting with a concerned mother and not a colleague. He patted her knee and pursed his lips, "Shall we go see him?"

Wiping the tears that were welling up in her eyes, Amelia nodded. She reached for a tissue and wiped her eyes. "I don't want him to see me like this."

Jackson led Amelia down the hall to a treatment room where Ryder kicked back in a hospital bed as Derek typed in some chart notes. Alex was performing a basic neuro exam at Derek's request – the plan was to repeat them every 10-15 minutes for the first hour.

After opening the door, Jackson patted Amelia's back and nodded at Derek before stepping away. Alex followed Jackson and patted Amelia's shoulder as he departed.

"Amy, he had a mild concussion. CAT scan is normal," Derek reported as he hugged his sister. She barely returned Derek's grasp as she focused on approaching Ryder.

"Mama Bear!" Ryder greeted with a sleepy smile. "Everyone's all stressed out about me, but I'm all good."

Wrapping her arms around Ryder's neck, Amelia kissed his cheeks and whispered, "Oh, Baby Bear…" She pulled back and surveyed his face before running her thumbs over his cheeks.

"Stop flipping out," Ryder grinned. "Mom, no worries. I'm fine." As he reassured his mom, his eyes glazed with tears and he yawned.

"Did you see that?" Amelia grilled Derek as she turned to him.

"Run of the mill concussion symptoms, Amy," Derek stated calmly.

"Uncle Derek, when are you going to let me eat?" Ryder whined.

Derek lowered his chin and reminded Ryder, "Remember, we're going to keep an eye on your nausea."

"You're just afraid I'll barf on you," the regular, everyday Ryder quipped with a grin.

"You," Derek began and patted Ryder's arm, "are far too much like your mother. Now, remember, no TV, no texting, just rest. I'm turning off the main light – that should help the headache." Turning to his sister, Derek mumbled med-speak to let her know that Ry had blurry vision and some forgetfulness.

"Did you pass out?" Amelia inquired as she performed her own basic neuro exam now that the doctor's had left her alone with her son.

"I don't think so, but check this nasty gash out," he invited as he held up his forearm. "Dr. Avery used this clear deal so I can watch it heal."

Smiling, Amelia resumed her questions, "Dizzy? Numb anywhere?" She noted he was not slurring at all, which reassured her.

"Nope." Ryder explained, "Just sleepy, my eyes are blurred, my head and neck kill, and I've barfed a few times. Can I have something for the headache?"

"Not yet, but I'll talk to Uncle Derek about it," she assured him.

Ryder held out his arms and begged, "Snuggle me, Mama Bear."

Not hesitating, Amelia climbed into the bed and rested her head on Ryder's shoulder. He adjusted her arm and laughed, "I bet I stink… I was gonna shower at home after soccer."

"I'm just glad you're safe, Baby Bear," she responded as the two dozed off.

By the time Owen finished surgery, hours had passed and Ryder had been admitted to a room. Derek waited to leave the hospital until he could speak to Owen. Doing so meant that he was able to finish Amelia's shift for her while she sat with Ryder. While he would haze her about it later, he was secretly happy to help out his sister.

Owen stepped out of the OR and encountered Derek waiting for him by the sinks. "Shepherd…" he greeted as he pulled off his mask and cap.

"How's your patient?" Derek inquired.

"Good. Great, actually. I wasn't sure the kid was going to make it, but I'm pretty sure he's out of the woods. I'm eager for a post-op neuro check when he wakes up. He had significant internal bleeding, but seems to have escaped anything more serious," Owen explained, wondering why Derek was loitering in the scrub area. "So?"

Smirking, Derek shared, "Everything will be fine, but Ryder has a concussion. I admitted him for observation, and Amy's been at his side the last few hours."

"What happened?" Owen questioned as he dried his hands and turned toward his brother-in-law.

"Car accident. I suspect it was part of the same one your patient was in. A bunch of kids ended up in a pile up this afternoon," Derek mentioned. "Luckily, nobody was killed. From what I've heard, your patient was the most seriously hurt."

Owen nodded and inquired, "Where is he? Ryder, I mean."

Derek shared the room number and volunteered to walk there with Owen. He planned to finally head home after one last check on Ryder.

When the two entered the room, Ryder's eyelids fluttered as he attempted to stay awake. Amelia was asleep next to him.

With a quickened step, Owen walked over to his son with a look of concern. He studied the goose egg on his forehead and swept Ryder's hair to the side. Owen's hand remained on the back of Ryder's head as he leaned down and kissed his cheek. "I'm so glad you weren't hurt more seriously," Owen sighed with relief.

Owen sat down in a side chair while Derek examined his nephew and asked him for updates on his nausea, vision and fatigue. When he completed his brief efforts, Derek whispered his assurance to Owen, "He looks good. You know the drill – nothing but rest. He can eat if he's able to tolerate it."

"Can I steal Mom?" Owen grinned after Derek left. Ryder shrugged and agreed. Leaning close to Amelia's ear, Owen whispered to her and let his presence be known. He'd already called Lynne on his way up to Ryder's room and arranged for her to spend the night at the house.

"Mia?" he offered gently, "I'm here. My patient's doing well."

She opened her eyes and smiled without saying a word. Owen held his hand out and motioned his head toward the empty bed just feet away. Bending over to pick her up, Owen stroked her hair and kissed her forehead before scooping her into his arms. He carried her to the other bed and covered her with a blanket before slipping off his shoes and climbing in next to her.


	11. Chapter 11 - Dealing w Unpredictable

**Chapter 11**

 **An Imperfect Life – Dealing with the Unpredictable**

 **Saturday, January 27** **th**

As Lissa stumbled to the kitchen half-awake with her bathrobe askew and her hair sloppily bundled into a ponytail, she smiled with contentment at the sight of her husband sitting at the dining room table. He was already showered and dressed. His customary long-sleeve button down was loose at the neck and its sleeves were rolled up to just below his elbows. The crumbs on the plate in front of him indicated he'd nibbled on toast and fruit while drinking his morning coffee. The pencil in his mouth from one corner of his lips to the other meant he was deep in analysis.

Although her shuffle was relatively quiet, so was the inside of the Little House. As Lissa filled a coffee cup and added creamer, Nolan pulled off his glasses, gazed up with love, and smiled beneath the pencil, "Good morning, Pretty Girl."

"Don't stretch that observation too far," she warned with a giggle. "You might harm your credibility." Strolling over to the table, Lissa cocked her head and inquired, "What are you working on?"

Nolan frowned and focused on his chicken scratches. He grumbled, "Timing. When to list the house, when to sell it. By analyzing the sales data of nearby houses, their sales prices versus list prices, any intriguing or unique features that might affect sales, summer real estate trends, and the records of the listing agents, I'm hoping to predict how long the house will be on the market. In an ideal world, we'd finalize the sale and move out just before leaving for England."

The list of considerations caused Lissa's pre-coffee'd brain to spin. After blinking repeatedly in an attempt to soak in Nolan's efforts, Lissa grinned uneasily and swallowed a large gulp of her coffee. With a chipper invitation, she questioned, "Breakfast?"

Reaching for her hand and kissing it, Nolan smirked before reassuring her, "I snacked a little earlier. I'm good. How about if we make a big lunch together in a few hours?"

Lissa shrugged and nodded as she headed to the coffee pot for a refill, "Sounds good. Are you swamped this morning?"

Already back to fervently focusing on his predictions, Nolan responded without removing his eyes from his data, "Homework is all caught up – ahead of schedule, actually. I want to crunch through this and it'll probably take another couple hours."

Nolan being ahead of schedule on school work was a given, and Lissa found his vigilant efforts of estimation endearing. Having such little control over the timing of the house sale and all the related possibilities, his analysis seemed to be a feeble attempt to manage the unmanageable. Lissa's heart swelled with love as she soaked in the reality that was Nolan. Never in a million years would she even consider that there might be a method for predicting such outcomes; for Nolan, however, it was all a matter of gathering data, utilizing the proper theories, and drudging through the process. Of course, to Nolan, drudging wasn't an apt word; he found the process intriguing, challenging, and compelling. Meanwhile, Lissa attempted to decide whether to heat up water for oatmeal or pour some milk into a bowl for cereal. She was completely content and satisfied with that level of challenge at 9:00am on a Saturday morning.

From the Living Room, Nolan's cell rang. The sound shook him out of his universe of statistics and formulas. "Dang," he sighed as he lost his train of thought. "Baby, can you grab that for me?"

"Sure," Lissa agreed as she stepped into the next room. The Caller ID read _Dr. Owen Hunt._ She called out, "It's Dads. Are you expecting a call from him?"

"No. Can you handle it?" Nolan responded.

"Hey, Dads," Lissa answered with a sing-songy, coffee-in-the-bloodstream voice.

"Hi, Lissa. What's up for you two this morning?" Owen inquired, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Not much. Nolan's in the process of attempting to pinpoint the day to list the house so the sale will close precisely when he'd prefer. I'm drinking coffee and heating up water for oatmeal. Just a typical morning in the Tremblay-Hunt home," she laughed.

Chuckling, Owen observed, "It's as if he's penciling in the morning word find, huh?"

"Something like that," she smiled as she cozied onto the couch and threw a blanket over her lap. "What's up in Seattle?"

"That's why I'm calling, actually," Owen began. "Everything is fine, but I wanted to let you know that Ryder was in a car accident last night and spent the night at the hospital."

Nearly spilling her coffee as she sat up straight in an instant, Lissa exclaimed, "Dads?! What?"

"He's ok, hon. It's a long story, and he has a concussion. If he was anyone else's offspring, he'd probably already be discharged and home. Since both his mother and uncle are neurosurgeons, he's stuck here being monitored in Telemetry. He'll be fine – concussions simply take time. Everything will turn out smoothly," Owen explained.

"Should we head home?" Lissa inquired.

Upon hearing Lissa's question, Nolan huffed and set down his pencil. He pulled away from the table and approached his wife, mouthing, _What's wrong?_

"No, Lissa. Really," Owen insisted with love.

"Nolan's right here, Dads. I'm passing the phone over to him," she detailed as she placed the phone in her husband's hand.

"Hi, Dad. What's going on?" Nolan wondered.

"He'll be just fine, but Ryder's here at the hospital. Mom and I wanted you to know," Owen re-explained.

"Mmm Hmm," Nolan acknowledged calmly.

"There was a multi-car pile up on the freeway yesterday afternoon – a bunch of kids coming from open play at indoor soccer. I'm not sure what started it all, but it was a mess. Ry saw the accident before he reached it and slammed into a Jersey barrier. The Mustang is toast but he may have saved his own life with such quick thinking," Owen reported. "Details are still sketchy, and Ryder doesn't remember anything about it now. We had another kid choppered in who almost didn't make it, but this morning, he appears to be stabilizing. He remains critical, of course."

"Yeah," Nolan uttered slowly. "Can you tell me his name or is that some sort of HIPPA thing?"

"It's all over the news. Patrick. Patrick Douglas," Owen disclosed.

"Holy shit, Dad. I've known him since we moved to Seattle. He's in Ry's grade. Amazing person," Nolan sputtered as the reality of the accident hit him. "You operated on him?"

"Yeah. Well, a resident and I. Mom did some initial assessments and made some life-saving medical calls for CTs and x-rays. It was a team effort," Owen reasoned with humility.

"Thanks for saving him, Dad… Wow," Nolan hesitated with awe, unable to pinpoint the words he wanted to offer. He turned to Lissa and shared, "Patrick Douglas was in the accident too. He was seriously hurt, but Dad says he's doing well."

"No," Lissa expressed with her mouth hanging open. She closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. Nolan, turning his attention back to Owen, floated his index finger lightly over one of Lissa's wrists and grasped her hand.

"Tell me more about Ryder," Nolan requested as he sat on the sofa and wrapped his arm around Lissa. She melted into his side as she attempted to overhear Owen's voice.

Owen reported, "His CAT scan was normal, he experienced blurred vision, vomiting, and some confusion. Last night, his head and neck were pounding. No slurring, no loss of consciousness, no dizziness. It could have been much, much worse." As Owen spoke the last sentence, his voice unexpectedly cracked. Between running Patrick's surgery, learning about Ryder's injuries, and attempting to sleep at the hospital the previous night, he was exhausted.

"I'm heading up," Nolan announced. "I want to see him."

"You can, Nole, but I'm telling you that's really not necessary," Owen described.

"He's my brother, Dad, and he's hurt. You said yourself he may have saved his own life. I want to… I need to see him," Nolan insisted.

"It'll be good to see you. We have some catching up to do," Owen acquiesced.

Meanwhile, Amelia and Ryder slowly roused at the same time to the smell of flowers. While Ryder's head continued to pound and his neck felt as if it was being wrung out, he attempted to focus on the room and reorient himself. He wondered if and why he was at the hospital before fading back to sleep.

"Hey, Baby Bear," Amelia cooed as she brushed Ryder's hair off his forehead.

"Mom, what the f $#?" Ryder wondered softly.

She smirked and shook her head before explaining, "You were in a car accident yesterday afternoon. The Mustang was totaled, but you are fine. You have a concussion and are a little banged up."

"I'm a lot banged up," he yawned in response with half-open eyes. "My head and neck… holy crap, Mom. They're really hurting."

"Where are you on the pain scale?" the physician mother asked.

"A 50," Ryder winced as he squeezed his neck.

"Out of 1 to 100?" Amelia attempted to ascertain.

"No." A slight hint of everyday Ryder emerged as he revealed emphatically, "Out of a 1 to 10. On a scale of 1 to 10, they're a f#$ ing 50. Give me drugs."

Amelia pushed the call button and requested a nurse to come in. While they waited, Amelia began a basic neuro exam. Ryder was irritable and respectfully shoved her arm away as she shined a pen light into his eyes.

"Argh! Turn that shit off," he grumbled.

"Ryder, knock it off. I know you're hurt. I know your head is pounding. Let me do my job and I'll do it quickly," Amelia snapped with motherly insistence.

"Hey," he tried to argue with a sedated voice, "I know the deal, Mom. You can't be my doctor, so, your job is to be my mom. Please, turn off the f#$*ing light."

Owen entered the room just as Amelia growled at their son. When he heard Ryder's response, Owen cleared his throat and interjected, "Language."

"Whatever. Where's my drugs?" Ryder grumbled.

"He's reporting his head and neck are a 50 on a 1 to 10," Amelia reported. "Should we order a repeat CT?"

"No," Owen smirked as he put his hands on her shoulders and squeezed. "We should let his doctor determine the best course of treatment."

The nurse came in with two meds to administer through Ryder's IV. Amelia inquired, "What's been ordered?"

Respectfully, the nurse reported, "Zomig and Darvocet. Dr. Shepherd did leave optional orders for Motrin and/or Imitrex. He said if you'd prefer those, he was fine with that."

"No," Amelia shook her head. "I concur with his prescription choices."

The nurse hung the bags on the IV pole and proceeded to connect the meds to the tubing. "I'm Shelby, by the way. I'll be your nurse until this afternoon. Let's get your vitals and then I'll leave you to rest." Ryder smirked without responding verbally and cooperated with Shelby's efforts. "Do you have any other pain besides your neck and head?"

"Not really," Ryder uttered with exhaustion. "I'm really tired, like no energy at all, and kind of sore all over."

Shelby nodded, "That's pretty standard for what you've been through, hon. Any nausea? How's your appetite?"

"Now that you mention it, food sounds fantastic," Ryder smiled.

"No nausea or dizziness?" Shelby sought to confirm.

"Nope," Ryder grinned proudly.

"Great. We'll get some food up here shortly," Shelby smirked. She walked across the room to a basket and explained, "We've been putting all the cards in here for you. Since last night, people - well, actually, young ladies – have been dropping off cards and all of these flowers. Would you like to see the cards?"

With a hint of confidence and charm, Ryder agreed, "Sure."

Shelby brought over the basket and set it on the rolling table above his lap. "You must be quite the charmer… you could open your own floral shop and Hallmark with what's arrived already."

"You have no idea," Owen responded with a slow chuckle.

As Shelby stepped away, Ryder asked Owen, "Now that I'm awake, can I have visitors? I'm bored."

Owen shook his head and pursed his lips, "Sorry, Ry. You need to be bored – the less activity and effort, the sooner you'll heal."

"Visitors don't take energy," he attempted to protest.

Amelia drew in her lips and agreed, "Sorry, Charlie. Dad's right. Honestly, I'm not even nuts about you reading the cards."

"Did my phone survive the accident?" Ryder wondered.

"It did," Amelia nodded. "But it's off limits too. I'm sorry, Ryder. Concussions are serious business. No TV, no cell, no tablets, no reading."

"No fun," Ryder moaned dramatically.

As she leaned down and gently kissed his forehead, Amelia whispered, "Rest. I'll be back later to check in. Maybe I'll bring the Littles with me."

"Because they are so incredibly meditative and serene," Ryder groaned.

Owen patted Ryder's uninjured arm. "We'll see you in a bit. Mom's right – get some rest."

 _ **Readers – so sorry my updates are happening less frequently lately. Life's been crazy busy.**_


	12. Chapter 12 - Visits

**Chapter 12**

 **An Imperfect Life – Visits**

 **Saturday, January 27** **th**

At first, the nurses and other staff found it charming that so many girls were stopping by to see Ryder. By noon, they were all growing weary of enforcing the No Visitors order, delivering cards, and transporting gifts ranging from teddy bears to flowers. More than once, Shelby found herself shooing girls out of room and reminding Ryder that he needed to rest.

After lunch, Amelia and Lucas made their way to Ryder's room. Owen and the girls remained in the cafeteria finishing their lunch.

"Mama," Lucas wondered, "If a cunmushion is a brain bruise, would Ryder's head be all purple and yellow and gross if we shaved his head so we could see the skin under his hair?"

Amelia grinned, eternally thankful for every moment that Lucas remained a little boy. His curiosity and imagination would soon be replaced with properly pronounced words and more independence. "It's con-cuss-ion, Luke."

"Whatever," Lucas shrugged. "Does Ryder's head have a big ugly purply bruise?"

"No. I guess that means we'll have to let him keep his hair, huh?" she winked as she glanced down.

"We could still shave it. You know, just for fun," Lucas suggested with a sly grin filled with charm.

"C'mon, you little stinker," she chuckled as she opened the door. Although he was awake, Ryder's closed eyes made him appear to be sleeping. "Shhhh…" Amelia offered as she whispered to Lucas, "He needs to rest. Let's sit down on the couch."

In a six year old, somewhat loud whisper, Lucas questioned, "What are all the tubes for?"

"The one around his cheeks that pokes into his nose gives him extra oxygen and helps him breathe," Amelia clarified, hoping she wasn't going to end up having to explain catheters. "See the bags that are hanging from that pole? Those tubes go down to his hand and that's how he gets his medicine."

"Can I have medicine that way next time I'm sick?" Lucas begged with wide eyes of wonder.

"Come look – the tube is connected to a needle that is poked into a blood vessel in his hand," Amelia pointed out as she led Lucas to the patient.

"Ouchie. I don't want that! Never mind," Lucas said softly but with insistence. Ryder, who had been listening to the entire conversation made a growling sound and reached out to tickle Lucas. Scared, Luke ran behind Amelia after a giant gasp. His reaction sent Ryder into hysterics.

"You're fine, Squirt. Be brave," Ryder teased.

"That wasn't nice," Lucas declared with a furrowed brow and folded arms. His adorable face, reddened cheeks, and curly hair stood in deep contrast to his anger. Amelia held back a giggle and wished she could sneak a picture of her youngest in all his darling intensity.

"So?" Ryder hunched with a mischievous grin. "I never said I was nice."

Clearing her throat, Amelia reminded Ry, "You're supposed to rest. No tickling Littles, no growling. Rest."

"Mom…" Ryder began to plead.

"Rest," she insisted with a sideways grin and raised eyebrows.

Ryder flopped backward onto his pillows, causing Amelia to wince as she watched his head bounce. He groaned, "Squirt, how about you crawl up here and fill me in on the news of the world?"

With an enormous grin, Lucas climbed onto the bed. He heard Amelia's warnings to be gentle and promised to do so. "I don't really know any news, except that you got in a car accident," Lucas reported.

"Yeah… have you seen my car?" Ryder asked.

"No. Dad's going later, but he says I can't go," Lucas sighed.

"Sucks being little sometimes, doesn't it?" Ryder empathized.

Ignoring the question, Lucas asked, "Do you hurt? What's it like to be in a car accident?"

"I don't remember any of it," Ryder shared. "But, yeah, I hurt. My neck and head hurt the most. The rest of my body just feels achy."

"You don't remember _any of it_?!" Lucas questioned with intrigue.

"Nope. I remember walking to my car when soccer was over and putting my gear in the trunk. The next memory I have is of Uncle Derek shining a light in my eyes down in the ER. I only know what happened between those times because people have told me," Ryder detailed.

"That's kinda weird," Lucas responded with curiosity. Twisting around to Amelia, Lucas inquired, "Mama, can you surgery Ryder's brain so he can remember?"

With a tsk, Amelia crinkled her mouth and nose, "Nope. If I could, I'd operate on all of you kids so you'd remember to do your chores without being reminded."

Interrupting, the girls tiptoed into the room with Olivia leading the way. When she saw that Ryder was awake, Olivia hurried over to her brother, embraced him, and expressed tearfully, "Oh, Ryder. I'm so glad you're ok."

Feebly, Ryder threw an arm over Olivia and patted her back. "It's not like I almost died, Liv. Calm down."

"But you could have," she added dramatically.

"Nah," Ryder grimaced. He glanced over to the twins who stood a few feet away with tentative expressions. "You can come closer if you want," Ryder laughed softly.

"I don't want to touch you because I don't want to hurt you," Ria explained.

"And what's your story?" Ryder asked Anna.

"I think you look kinda weird, so I don't want to be closer," she reported candidly.

"Thanks, sis. That's special," Ryder quipped as he yawned and looked at Amelia.

"Tired?" Amelia inquired.

"Yeah and headachy," he disclosed. "When can I go home?"

Hesitating, Amelia stretched her lips to one side, "Oh, Ry… I don't know. Let's not rush anything."

"Seriously? Like I can't rest at home?" Ryder pushed.

"And Bogey and Barkley could help him feel better if he was at home, Mama," Lucas added with conviction.

Amelia smiled and shared, "It's up to Uncle Derek."

"Chicken," Ryder teased as his eyelids became heavy.

"Are you wearing out?" Amelia questioned.

With his eyes closed, Ryder stated, "I need to sleep."

"You heard your brother," Amelia emphasized. "Everyone say goodbye."

Owen entered the room just as the goodbyes were being exchanged. He mumbled to Amelia that he wanted to stay for a while, sit quietly with Ryder, and review his chart. Amelia agreed to take the kids home and to see Owen later.

Sitting in the quiet room, Owen pondered all that had occurred in the previous 24 hours. He was grateful that Patrick was slowly showing positive post-op signs and was relieved that Nolan was on his way to Seattle. His presence would brighten Ryder's surroundings.

Because of school obligations, Lissa stayed in Los Angeles. Since Nolan was in the final term of his Master's degree, nearly all his efforts and focus centered on a thesis. He could write anywhere and was ahead of schedule anyway. Planning to be in touch with his professors, Nolan was hopeful that he'd be able to stay in Seattle for a week and help with Ryder's recovery.

When Ryder stirred a couple hours later, he caught Owen staring at him with soft eyes. "What?" Ryder whispered with a sleepy smile.

"Nothing," Owen smirked. "I was just thinking about how thankful I am that you weren't seriously injured."

"Aww, thanks, Daddy-O," Ryder kidded as he tried to stretch his neck.

"I could arrange for you to have a massage if you think that would help," Owen mentioned.

"Seriously? The hospital has its own massage therapist? Is the chick hot?" Ryder joked.

Owen raised his eyebrows and responded, "There's a big Samoan guy…"

"Very funny," Ryder grumbled. "Actually, a massage sounds awesome – no matter who gives it. My neck is really tight."

After nodding, Owen added, "I told him he didn't have to come, but Nolan's on his way."

"Cool," Ryder smiled. "And Lissa?"

"She has obligations at school, so she stayed in LA," Owen explained. "Nolan's hoping to be able to stay about a week. He can run interference for you, calming down Olivia's dramatic reactions and mellowing out the Littles."

"He's not a miracle worker, Dad," Ryder kidded. After a brief pause, he continued, "I'm really glad he's coming. Nolan makes everything seem calm and manageable."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

An hour later, Ryder lay on his stomach as his massage concluded. Nolan came in holding a small gift in his hand and exclaimed, "Check you out. Private room, massage. This hospital life is so tough."

Facing away from the door, Ryder chuckled. He extended his hand and replied, "Dude! Get the hell over here."

Nolan walked over and sat down facing his brother. He leaned toward Ryder and rested his elbows onto his knees, offering, "Looking good, Crash."

Ryder sighed with relief when he saw his brother's wide grin and collegiate appearance. Rather than spitting out an edgy come back, Ryder locked his eyes on his brother and admitted, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me, too," Nolan smirked. "Somebody's gotta negotiate the Mustang's insurance settlement. God knows we don't want Dad handling that."

Ryder glanced out of the corner of his eyes and shook his head slightly. "You're taking over as the family smart ass until I'm better, huh?"

"It's always pissed me off that you were cast in the cooler role," Nolan kidded. Although they were bantering back and forth, the words between the lines were ones of concern and love. A comfortable silence settled in the air as the brothers scanned the room and occasionally caught one another's gaze.

"I'm pretty freaked out about all this, Nole," Ryder confessed. "Patrick – he almost died."

"I know," Nolan nodded as he patted Ryder's arm. He stopped short of minimizing Ryder's concerns by pointing out all would be well.

Swallowing hard, Ryder's eyes misted over as he considered aloud, "I could have died… like Mom. Young and alive living a regular day, then dead in the blink of an eye." Nolan's heart sunk at the mention of Kayla, but he maintained a poker face as he listened. Ryder added, "One minute, I was playing soccer. The next minute, I was in the ER with a pounding head and didn't know why."

Nolan nodded slowly as he fixed his eyes on Ryder's. "Have you shared this with anyone else?"

"Nah," Ryder minimized with a grin. "I don't want to sound like Olivia." As Nolan's eyes twinkled in response, Ryder distanced from his fears, "I guess I'm not done wreaking havoc on the world."

"What do you say I help you escape this joint?" Nolan suggested.

"Mom and Dad will have your ass," Ryder warned.

Nolan stood up and rolled his eyes. "You idiot. I saw Uncle Derek in the hall. You're officially free."

"I should have known," Ryder quipped. "Mr. Integrity would never break a rule."

"Not even for you, Ry," Nolan winked as he handed over a duffel bag with clothes that Amelia had left in the closet. "Pull yourself together, slacker. I'll be back in a few."

Awhile later, as the brothers arrived at the Lake House, the rest of the family exploded onto the driveway. Conflicted about who to greet first, half the family headed toward Ryder and the other half toward Nolan.

Ria, Lucas, and Owen approached the driver's door. Wrapping her arms around Nolan's waist, Ria called out her brother's name and jumped up and down. Lucas ran at full speed toward Nolan and was scooped up as soon as Nolan could grab him. With his arms around Nolan's neck, Lucas rested his head on Nolan's shoulder. Owen hugged his eldest from the side and gently encouraged Ria to stop jumping.

On the other side of the car, Amelia and Olivia fussed over Ryder. Anna studied her brother, relieved to see he was free of wires and tubes. Ryder reached over to her and wrapped her into a hug, causing Olivia to lean over to Amelia and mumble, "Looks like the concussion did something to him, Mom. He's hugging _Anna."_ Amelia chuckled and turned to help Ryder into the house.

As Amelia wrapped her arm around Ryder's waist, Ryder gently pushed her away. "Mom, really, I'm fine," he assured her with a smile.

"You're right," Amelia smirked as her heart sank. "Sorry." She followed him inside and pointed out, "We've set up a few options. You can kick back on the couch, head into the playroom, or go up to your room."

"Thanks," Ryder stated. "I think I'll head to my room." As he approached the stairs with Amelia beside him, Ryder turned to his mom and reassured her again, "I've got it, Mom. Really."

Dejected, but trying not to take Ryder's independence personally, Amelia stayed in the entry as Ryder climbed the stairs. When Owen came through the door, he turned and questioned, "Where's Ry?"

"Heading to his room. He said he didn't need any help," Amelia shirked.

Owen frowned toward his wife and walked past her to head upstairs. To his relief, he found Ryder already on his bed with his head resting on a pillow and his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Need anything?" Owen questioned.

"I'm good," Ryder responded without eyeballing his Dad.

Owen invited himself into Ryder's room and scrutinized his son. "What's going on, Ry?"

"Nothing," Ryder shrugged. "Just tired. It's been a big day."

"Sure?" Owen sought to confirm as Nolan appeared in the doorway.

With a feeble grin, Ryder tried to convince his father, "Yeah."

"Private conversation?" Nolan asked.

"Come on in," Ryder invited.

Nolan sat on the lower part of the bed and leaned against the wall. "Now what?"

"Nothing. Lots of rest and relaxation until he's symptom free for a week," Owen insisted.

"I'll go grab my laptop," Nolan announced. "If you want, Ry, I can hang in here and write so you're not up here in a cave of isolation."

"Sounds cool," Ryder nodded as he turned toward the wall and closed his eyes. Owen knew without a doubt that something was on Ryder's mind, but he also knew Ryder wasn't ready or willing to share it.

"I'll let you rest. Let us know if you need anything," Owen offered with a reassuring smile and pat on the leg.

As Owen left the room, he quickened his pace a few steps to catch up with Nolan. He put his hand on Nolan's shoulder and voiced softly, "How do you think he's doing?"

"Considering what he's been through, he seems great," Nolan contended. At this point, Nolan didn't believe it was necessary to pass along his earlier conversation with his brother. He hoped to navigate the line between repeated what Ryder had spoken in confidence with passing along crucial concerns.

Attempting to ignore his gut feelings and to buy into Nolan's observation, Owen nodded and uttered, "Yeah."


	13. Chapter 13 - Bonding

**Chapter 13**

 **An Imperfect Life – Bonding**

 **Wednesday, January 31** **st**

As the week progressed,Ryder improved beyond anyone's expectations. During the day, Nolan and Ryder rambled through the enormous house while the kids attended school and their parents worked. Although symptom free, Ryder was still expected to rest and refrain from any activity. Even watching TV, playing cards, and texting were off limits. Consequently, when Ryder wasn't sleeping, the two brothers spent a great deal of time talking.

Midday on Wednesday, Nolan prepared a simple lunch and Ryder slept on the couch. While he assembled sandwiches, Nolan set his phone on the counter and spoke to Lissa using the speaker. When Ryder awoke, he couldn't help but overhear the conversation.

"I miss you, too, Shorty," Nolan cooed into the phone. "How were your classes this morning?"

"Fine. Nothing noteworthy," Lissa responded with a forlorn tone. "Steph and I went to coffee afterward."

"That sounds fun," Nolan countered optimistically, trying to understand why Liss sounded down.

"I guess," Lissa sighed. "I'm trying to be happy for her. She's pregnant and over the moon."

"Oh, babe, I'm sorry," Nolan soothed. He hesitated until he thought through his next words, "You know we can always try. Whenever you're ready, I am too."

"I'm not ready," Lissa admitted. "I don't want to wake up each morning and wonder if it's the day I'm going to miscarry. I can't face all that stress again, Nolan. Not yet… Maybe never."

"Larissa," Nolan challenged with disappointment. "Don't go there, Blondie. There are options."

Tearfully, Lissa balked, "I don't want to look at options, Nolan. I want to have our baby. But for some stupid reason, my body has other plans."

"Liss…" Nolan drawled slowly. "Maybe we can look into surrogacy. We haven't really explored that yet."

"I don't want someone else carrying our child. _I_ want to have our baby," Lissa emphasized.

"I know you do," Nolan acknowledged with an unconcealed groan. Over time, he had grown weary of their repetitive conversations about their challenge to have children. Like Lissa, he wanted children desperately. Unlike her, he was willing to adopt and to consider other options. At times, he struggled to be patient with Lissa's resistance to undergo more thorough medical analysis. She wanted to carry their child, but she wasn't willing to explore possible diagnoses or treatments.

"You're pissed," Lissa responded flatly.

"Liss, I'm not. I simply don't know what more I can say or do to fix this. Blondie, I'm not mad, but this conversation drains me. It's the same one we have all the time, and we never seem to get anywhere. What can I do to help?" Nolan explained.

Sniffling, Lissa responded, "You're right. I guess I'm afraid of what might be discovered if we start looking inside my stupid body."

"There is nothing about you that is stupid," Nolan refuted with love. "Who knows? Maybe it's something to do with me."

"Doubtful," Lissa argued with resignation. Her voice cracking, she revealed, "I wish you were here. All I want is for you to hold me."

"I'll be home Sunday, Babe," Nolan reminded her. Then he suggested, "Or maybe you could come up for a few days. Everyone would love to see you."

"Me and my big black cloud of depression are planning to wear PJs all weekend and hole up in our cave of self-pity," Lissa confessed.

"All the more reason to get up here. Being with the family will be good for you. Will you come if I buy you a ticket and handle all the details?" he wondered.

Lissa hesitated, "I dunno, Trems. I'm in crummy space and would be such a downer."

"Liss… let me wrap my arms around you and shoo that dark cloud away," Nolan begged.

"How can I say no to that? You're sweet," Lissa chuckled.

"I'll text you the travel details," Nolan promised. "Love you, Babe." He ended the call and clicked his tongue as he placed the mayo, cheese, and lunch meat in the fridge.

"Hey," Ryder called out. "Lissa's coming?"

"Yep. How long were you awake?" Nolan inquired as he delivered a plate to his brother and sat down beside him.

"Long enough to find out what's-her-name is pregnant and hear Lissa try not to cry about it," Ryder admitted.

Nolan chuckled and disclosed, "Stephanie. She and her husband are close friends. Stephanie is pregnant. The news put Liss into a tailspin."

"Dude," Ryder empathized, "Sorry."

Shrugging, Nolan responded, "What can we do about it? It's great news for our friends. With older friends working on Master's degrees, we're used to it."

"You might be, but it sounds like Lissa isn't," Ryder pointed out as he bit into his lunch.

"I never know what to do, you know? She desperately wants a baby, but is afraid to miscarry again. She refuses to look at adoption or surrogacy and avoids medical testing," Nolan sighed. "She yearns to be a Mom, but refuses to take any steps that might lead to it happening."

"Chicks are weird," Ryder commentated.

Taking his final bite, Nolan wondered, "Did you get enough to eat or do you want more?"

"I'm good. Thanks," Ryder replied as he stretched out and adjusted his pillows. "Do you mind if I ask you something kind of personal?"

"You've never hesitated before. Why start now?" Nolan chuckled.

"Is it hard for you - not having kids?" Ryder inquired.

Nolan gazed out the floor-to-ceiling windows and studied the water. After sighing heavily and folding his arms in front of his body, Nolan stammered, "The grief never goes away. Never." He paused and shifted toward Ryder, "Missing Mom… and Dad… that sticks with you. You know what I mean. It's heavy and empty at the same time. The grief comes in waves. But losing a child," Nolan shook his head as he hesitated, "losing two children…it's a tsunami."

The raw description took Ryder's breath away. As he studied the devastation and sacred pain on Nolan's face, Ryder found his hand reaching up and strongly grasping his brother's trembling hand. The brothers sat silently, hands connected, as a peaceful bond weaved its way inside their already close relationship.

"Honestly," Nolan confessed minutes later, "As far as trying again, I'd prefer to wait until we return from England. That's if it were up to me, but I'm not about to tell Liss my preference."

"Why not?" Ryder asked with calm surprise.

"Because what I want even more is to see Lissa's dreams come true. As long as I've known her, she's longed to be a mother. For me, having kids will be great whenever it happens. It'd be easier once we're done with school and settled down, but it'll be fantastic anytime," Nolan reasoned.

"You're a nice guy," Ryder declared with certainty.

Laughing, Nolan questioned, "What do you mean?"

"I can't imagine loving someone so much that her dreams would be the most important focus in my life. I listen to you and feel like a chump," Ryder smiled.

With a compassionate smile, Nolan suggested, "Her dreams are my dreams and vice versa, but that's our life, Ry. Your path is different - I can't imagine joining the military and being far away from family. I envy your courage to take big risks and plan an adventurous life."

"Who knew? My perfect big brother sometimes wishes he was me," Ryder mused with pride.

"Don't go that far, Crash," Nolan kidded.

The doorbell rang, interrupting the heart-to-heart. Nolan's brows furrowed as he checked, "Do you guys leave the gate open now? How could someone get to the door?" He stood up and walked toward the door.

"No. It's almost always closed, but some people have the code. Maybe it's a repair person or something," Ryder yawned.

"Hi," Nolan smiled as he opened the door and encountered Allie.

With a darling and flirty smile, Allie poured on the charm and requested, "Hi. I'm Allie, Ryder's girlfriend. Any chance I could see him?"

Nolan looked over at the sofa and spotted his brother's pleading eyes. Ignoring what he knew Owen and Amelia would prefer, Nolan showed her in and introduced himself. Extending his hand, he offered, "I'm Ry's older brother, Nolan. Nice to meet you, Allie. He's over on the couch."

With deep gratitude, Allie shook Nolan's hand and thanked him. She stepped over to Ryder, who was brushing his fingers through his bedhead and grinning mischievously. Hugging her boyfriend, Allie cooed, "Oh, Ry… I've missed you. I was so stressed out when I heard you ended up in the hospital. The nurses wouldn't let me visit and you didn't answer any of my texts. Are you feeling any better?"

Ryder leaned in and kissed his girlfriend repeatedly. Glancing at Nolan out of the corner of his eye, he silently suggested Nolan get lost. With a gravelly voice, Ryder expressed, "I'm sorry you couldn't connect with me." He swept her hair behind her ear and kissed her again. Nolan slipped into the playroom, but left the door open.

Regarding Ryder with concern, Allie rubbed his upper arm and looked deeply into his eyes, "Hearing about the accident was so scary. The news is that you have a concussion – is that true?" Ryder nodded nonchalantly. Allie continued, "And I heard that your dad saved Patrick's life."

"He wouldn't say it that way, but, yeah, he operated on him. I haven't seen Patrick yet. Have you?" Ryder wondered.

"No," Allie shook her head. "He can't have visitors either."

"We'll have to go see him once he's a little better," Ryder suggested.

Allie smiled and brushed her fingers through Ryder's hair. "You're not going to get in trouble because I stopped by, right?"

Rolling his eyes, Ryder schemed, "I'll blame Nolan if Mom or Dad get pissed. He's the perfect child. Nobody gets mad at him."

Giggling, Allie nuzzled into Ryder's neck and commented, "and poor Ryder gets all the blame."

"Exactly," Ryder chuckled as his hand slipped under Allie's shirt. She followed his lead and soon the couple found themselves wrapped around one another.

After a few minutes, Allie pulled away and inquired, "Are you supposed to get… umm… excited?"

"No," Ryder huffed. "Are you supposed to be out of school at 1:00pm on a Wednesday?"

With a guilty smile, Allie shook her head and admitted, "No."

"We're naughty, naughty, naughty," Ryder joked with a wink.

Nolan, sensing from the other room that he'd given the couple enough time to reunite, walked into the Living Room and sat across from them. "Looks like you go to St. Frances," he pointed out as he observed her school uniform.

"Yeah. I'm a junior," Allie smirked uncomfortably.

"My wife and I went there too," Nolan stated.

Allie responded respectfully, "Ryder's mentioned that to me. He told me you live in Los Angeles now."

"We do," Nolan confirmed as he continued the stilted conversation. Planning to drag out the chat until Allie excused herself, Nolan reasoned that doing so prevented him from being the bad guy who insisted Ryder's visitor leave. "I'm finishing up at USC and Larissa is about to graduate from St. Mary's. It's a tiny private school really close to USC."

"Nice," Allie said as her hands rested in her lap. "Pretty sunny and warm down there, huh?"

"It is," Nolan nodded as he stretched his arms up and then rested his elbows on the back of the sofa. "Next year, we're headed to England. That'll be a change."

"It will," Allie smirked again as she glanced at Ryder and added, "I need to get going, Ry. You'll be in touch?"

"As soon as my cell is busted out of my mom's purse – she's convinced I'll end up with brain damage if I watch TV or text. Gotta love having a neurosurgeon mom," Ryder sighed as he leaned over and kissed Allie goodbye.

Nolan walked Allie to the door and cheerfully offered his goodbye. When he returned to the couch, Ryder sarcastically grumbled, "Thanks."

"What?" Nolan pretended to not understand.

"For rushing my girl out the door, Dude," Ryder growled.

"How about if you see it the other way and be grateful I let her in even though you're not supposed to have visitors?" Nolan pressed as he quickly raised and lowered his eyebrows.

"Yep, you're ready to be a parent, Nole," Ryder insisted. "You sound just like Dad."


	14. Chapter 14 - Date Night

**Chapter 14**

 **An Imperfect Life – Date Night**

 **Wednesday, January 31** **st**

Amelia paused from entering a medication order and glanced up at the clock. _Is it really only 5pm? Oy vey._ She returned her focus to the tablet in her hand and re-read the information she'd just input. "Here you go, Shelby," Amelia smirked as she handed a nurse the tablet and instructed, "Rotate ice packs on and off every 20 minutes. I'm not seeing the MRI consent form in here. Will you check into that?"

"Of course, Dr. Shepherd," Shelby smiled. "How is your son?"

Completely in doctor mode, Amelia had to intentionally shift mental gears before answering. "Ryder? Really well. Poor kid _really_ wants his cell phone back. I'm trying to hold out until Saturday," Amelia explained with a chuckle.

"He'll probably find this suggestion ridiculous, but many adults in the same situation discover that coloring helps pass the time," Shelby suggested.

"Lord knows we have plenty of colored pencils, crayons, and markers at home. I'll mention that to him," Amelia responded.

Moving on to the next patient chart, Amelia noted a peculiar medication note. "Shelby, on this endovascular coil embolization, the patient's current medications include Plavix."

"Which patient?" Shelby inquired.

"Mrs. Terrell," Amelia responded. "When was her last dose of Plavix?"

Shelby scanned through notes and asserted, "I'm not seeing any record of dispensing it. Was the medication placed in the wrong field on the tablet?"

"Perhaps, but I'd hate to assume that. How can we confirm?" Amelia asked.

"Her daughter is keeping a notebook. I can ask her for last dose information and see what she has recorded," Shelby proposed.

"Not ideal, but it'll have to do. Let's call up the resident who entered this note, please," Amelia sighed.

"Yes, ma'am," Shelby agreed.

As Amelia read through the rest of the notes and found more reason for concern, she began jotting a note with a listing of questions for the resident. Feeling two large hands on either side of her hips, Amelia jumped slightly before commenting, "My husband is the Chief of Surgery. You might want to be careful with PDA in the hallways."

Owen swung around Amelia's side and kissed her cheek, "He doesn't need to know."

"Really?" Amelia cooed as she glanced at him playfully. She turned so they were facing one another and ran her fingers along the collar of his lab coat. Whispering, she purred, "No wonder I keep you around. You're feisty."

Wrapping his hands around Amelia's head, Owen pulled her close and kissed her forehead. As he pulled away, he quietly stated, "Let's be feisty together. Can I steal you away from these charts?"

Peeking at the clock, Amelia raised her shoulders and flirted, "I have a few minutes."

"I want more than a few minutes," Owen hummed.

Tilting her head to the side, Amelia offered, "My shift ends at 6:00."

"What a coincidence, so does mine," Owen grinned sheepishly. After scanning the area, he grasped her hand and pulled her across the hall toward a storage room. Leaning against the closed door, Owen embraced his wife and deluged her with kisses. Mumbling, he confessed, "I can't wait until six."

Running her hands through his hair, Amelia sighed with momentary relaxation as they resumed kissing. She pulled away gently and proposed, "Want to go on a date tonight?"

"A date?" Owen responded with surprise.

Stroking his jawline with her finger, Amelia continued, "Nolan's home with the kids. I'm sure they need some sibling bonding time."

"I'm liking the sound of this," Owen flirted.

Amelia's eyes glimmered, "I know just the place, too."

"Hmm…" Owen dreamed, imagining a hotel room or locked on call room.

"Costco," Amelia grinned.

"Costco?" Owen repeated with disbelief.

"Yep, Lynne wasn't able to make it and I promised to help her out," Amelia shared. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and continued, "She gave me a list. It'll be a snap."

"When is the last time you ventured out to Costco?" Owen sputtered.

With a casual shrug, Amelia pondered and hinted, "Maybe it's been awhile."

"Like ten years or so?" Owen chuckled. "Since we've employed a nanny to brave places like Costco for us?"

"What's your point?" Amelia regarded him with curious skepticism as she stepped back and placed her hands on her hips.

"My point is that…" Owen began to explain before his pager interrupted him. He grabbed it and read the message, "Let me go deal with this. I'll meet you in my office in 30 minutes?"

"And we'll go on a date," Amelia giggled as she twisted her hips.

He kissed her cheek and agreed, "Then we'll go on a date."

After Owen stepped out of the room, Amelia conferred briefly with the resident she'd asked Shelby to summon. Thanks to Owen and the evening's plans, the resident experienced the patient and calm Amelia rather than the precise, over-protective surgeon who expected error-free charting.

Amelia headed to the Attendings' Lounge, hopped in the shower and changed into street clothes before drying her hair and primping for her date.

"Wow, look at you. Heading somewhere special?" Torres inquired when she spotted Amelia exiting the bathroom.

"On a date with my husband," Amelia grinned with glee as she gazed upward.

"Niiiiice," Callie cooed. "Out to dinner? A play?"

"Costco," Amelia admitted as she pressed her lips together.

"You two know how to parrr-teee," Torres teased.

"Party? Who's having a party?" Karev asked as he came in and beelined for the fridge.

"Amelia and Owen," Callie cackled.

"Yeah? You guys have the perfect party house. When?" Alex inquired as he bit into an apple.

"It's a private party," Callie laughed.

"Huh?" a clueless Alex uttered.

"We're going to Costco together at 6," Amelia confessed.

Alex lowered his eyebrows and offered a half grin, "Before the party?"

As Torres excused herself, she teased, "Costco _is_ their party. Those two – watch out Alex, they're wild."

"Huh?" Alex repeated as he stared at Amelia. "Dude, what's going on?"

"Never mind, Alex. Never mind," Amelia smiled as she patted his shoulder and left the room.

Alone in the lounge, Alex stated aloud, completely stupefied, "But when is the party?"

Amelia walked to Owen's office and found him throwing a cashmere sweater over a dress shirt. "You're adorable," she declared. "Is that what you're wearing to Costco?"

"Where are you really taking me?" Owen grinned, believing he'd found her out.

"Really, O, Costco. Honest," Amelia clarified.

Deflated, Owen's face became forlorn. "Seriously?"

"Mmm hmm," Amelia nodded, holding back a giggle.

"Where are we going to have sex at Costco?" Owen pouted.

"We'll have to get creative, I suppose," Amelia prodded. "Now, c'mon. It'll be fun."

The two left the Boxster behind at the hospital and jumped into the Enclave. With a contrived pout, Owen grumbled, "If it weren't for all the crap in here, we could fold down the seats and pull off the road somewhere." Amelia's torso wiggled as she laughed internally.

After making their way through rush hour traffic, Owen circled the chaotic parking lot. Harried parents with overly-tired children attempted to keep hold of the children's hands. Older ladies whose vision was dimming as the sun plunged below the horizon squinted to make their way through the rows. A man, obviously in a great hurry, pulled out quickly from his parking spot and nearly hitting pedestrians and cars alike.

"Are you sure about this?" Owen sighed.

"C'mon, Owen, think of it as an adventure," Amelia teased with a giggle.

"So far, I'm thinking of it as multiple injuries ready to inundate the ER," he groaned.

Amelia playfully shoved Owen's upper arm as he smiled and glanced briefly out of the corner of his eye.

Finally discovering an open parking spot which happened to be far from the main entrance, Owen pulled into it, commenting, "Hiking… a dark, perilous hike… that sounds like an adventure." He patted Amelia's knee and advised, "Sit tight." He jumped out of the car and Amelia stayed put, wondering what Owen was planning. To her surprise, her door opened and her handsome red-headed date extended his hand.

"This is a date," she smiled as she took his hand and scooted out of the tall car. Owen placed her arm around her and navigated their way through the parking lot of stray children and careless drivers. Pulling her Costco card out of her wallet, Amelia flashed it to the person at the large, garage-sized door as the couple entered the warehouse.

"You have a card?" Owen asked with surprise. "Do I have one?"

"Probably," Amelia shrugged. "Maybe it's in your desk at home."

"What do you know?" Owen stated as he was distracted by a 72" television and walked in that direction. "Look at that picture…"

"It's… enormous," Amelia nodded. "How do you suppose the delivery people carry it into a home with six foot doors?"

With dejection, Owen slowly gazed at Amelia and commented, "That takes all the fun out of it."

Like two children set loose in a toy store, Owen and Amelia ignored Lynne's list as they ran from one irresistible item to another. Throughout the exploration, Owen pointed out the great prices. Amelia, for her part, decided her task was to try out every sofa and chair.

"How about this hammock?" Amelia mused as she beckoned Owen to her. She was stretched out and raising her arms far beyond her head with giddy joy. Although he wanted to pretend not to know the crazy woman swinging in the hammock, Owen knew for certain that Amelia would call for him until he acknowledged her. With reddened cheeks, he walked over and whispered, "C'mon, Mia."

"Join me," she giggled.

"No," Owen stated clearly, as if he were advising one of the children that they had crossed the line.

"You know you want to," she teased as she reached out her hand.

He stood just outside her reach and glanced around the store hoping nobody would recognize him. Across the aisle, foldable soccer chairs were displayed. When he spotted them, Owen settled into one and opened the book he'd grabbed near the entrance. It was written by a resident and supposedly described the horrors of medical training. Occasionally glancing up at his hammock-resting wife, Owen smiled and scoffed before returning to his book.

After five minutes of not horrifying her husband publicly, Amelia shimmied out of the hammock and walked over to Owen. He pretended not to notice her approaching and focused on his book. From behind, Amelia whispered in his ear, "Do you see those tents? I think I found a place for a little on-call action. We can test the soundproofing."

"Of the tent walls?" he chuckled without removing his eyes from the page.

"Why not?" Amelia cooed playfully.

Owen stood up, kissed her and repeated, "No." His arm lovingly made its way to her back and he led her by placing his hand in the small of her back. "Now what's on the list?"

"You're a fun sucker, Owen Hunt," Amelia moaned in jest.

The two wound around the various aisles, deciding whether or not they needed a 24 pack of highlighters or a 5 gallon drum of olive oil. As they browsed, their large cart filled with granola bars, sports drinks, toilet paper, and frozen foods.

As Owen turned to grab the oversized box of graham crackers on Lynne's list, Amelia slid in a box of cookies and a six pack of super-sized Toblerone bars. "What's this?!" Owen exclaimed as he placed the graham crackers into the cart.

Amelia was already steps ahead, scouting out her next treat. When Owen caught up to her, Amelia was chatting with a sample lady who was sharing wedges of deep fried tilapia. "Owen! Try this," Amelia insisted as she put a slide near his lips. He leaned his head back before opening his mouth and chewing the fish.

"Very good," he praised as he nodded at the sample person before glancing at Amelia with urging.

As Amelia followed Owen along, she handed the woman her business card and reminded her, "Now, really, have your cousin come by the hospital, and I can check him out."

"What was that about?" Owen spoke out of the corner of his mouth.

"Her cousin fell at the mall and was knocked unconscious. He didn't get checked out because he didn't have decent insurance," Amelia explained. "It sounds like he might have ongoing issues."

"The mall's insurance should cover that," Owen reasoned.

"The cousin didn't understand the complexities of liability," Amelia detailed.

"I'll recalculate the indigent budget," he smirked as his arm fell around her shoulders.

Rounding their way out of the grocery area, Amelia led Owen toward the children's clothes. Discovering a 6 month sized mini dress with leggings, Amelia sighed, "Remember when they were this tiny?" With a feigned frown and pout, she added, "If I'd ever seen this outfit then, I would've bought two of them on the spot."

"Then buy it," he shrugged.

Amelia laughed, "Why?"

"For Nolan and Lissa's baby," he proposed.

"That isn't yet conceived?" Amelia sought to confirm.

"Ok. Buy it for our next baby," he smirked.

She slunk up to him and mumbled through a fake smile, "I didn't know we were planning to have another baby."

"Plan, schman," Owen joked with a wink.

With narrowed eyes of suspicion, Amelia pointed out, "If you were the one who could become pregnant, I'd be a little worried right now."

"Buy the outfit," he pressed. "It's adorable."

Amelia rolled her eyes and put the outfit back where she'd discovered it, attempting to sort out what sort of snow job she'd just experienced. The two proceeded to checkout without saying a word, but constantly exchanging glances.

As the two unloaded their items, Owen paused at one point and inquired, "Umm… Mia?"

"Yeah?" she responded without looking.

"Did you see that little blonde? The one who kept losing track of her mother?" he questioned.

"No," Amelia shook her head as she peered over at him.

Holding a number of sweets and treats in his hands, Owen proposed, "I think she must have mixed up our cart and her mom's cart. How else would all of these gotten here?"

Laughing, she raised an eyebrow and advised, "Put them on the conveyor."

"But that poor little girl… her treats ended up in the wrong basket," he teased, knowing full well Amelia had been behind the added items. She placed her hands, palms out, at her shoulders and nudged his leg with her foot.

After paying for their $400 + purchase, the couple pushed their cart to the food area and slid onto preformed plastic seats. Owen delivered the meal to their table, and they ate greasy pizza, churros and fruit freezes to top off their night.

After driving home and unloading the Enclave, they ran to the hospital to pick up the Boxster. Once they were both home, they put their feet up and snuggled on the sofa. Lying her head on Owen's shoulder, Amelia mused, "That was one of the greatest dates I've ever had."

Owen squeezed her and kissed the top of her head in agreement.


	15. Chapter 15 - Like Old Times

**Chapter 15**

 **An Imperfect Life – Like Old Times**

 **Thursday, February 1** **st**

Nolan's tall frame seemed even taller when he spotted Lissa and stood up to greet her. As she stepped across the airport's secured area, he wrapped his arms around her and hummed, "Hi Babe. I missed you."

Lissa, on her tiptoes, reciprocated Nolan's hug and looked up at him. "Same," she beamed with starry eyes.

Nolan picked up Lissa's duffel bag and led her toward the exit. "I volunteered to pick the kids up at school so they could see you right away. They have no idea you're here."

"That's sweet," Lissa cooed and she leaned into Nolan's side. "It'll be like old times – you and I taking the kids home."

"Seems like a long, long time ago," Nolan chuckled.

Before long, the couple pulled up at St. Frances. The Littles knew that Nolan was picking them up – that was exciting enough. Once they spotted Lissa, everyone exploded with glee.

Leaning against the passenger seat, Lucas wrapped his arms around Lissa's neck from behind and kissed her cheek repeatedly. He exclaimed, "Lissa! Lissa! Lissa!"

"Hi, Cutie Bug," Lissa giggled as she attempted to offer a backwards hug. She turned to her left and shook her head, observing, "Lucas, you've grown bunches since last time I saw you."

Standing tall and puffing out his chest, Lucas boasted, "And my muscles are like man muscles now. I'm filling out."

"You are," Lissa giggled in agreement. "And how are my favorite twins?" Lissa asked as she twisted further around to see the girls buckling into their seats.

Both commenced speaking over one another and reporting the details of their days. Lissa attempted to catch all the news on the short drive to Olivia's school. When Nolan pulled into the Montessori School, Olivia spotted Lissa and slapped her hands over her open mouth. Holding another girl's hand, Olivia led her toward the Enclave and opened the side door.

"Lissa! I had no idea you were coming," Olivia celebrated. "This is Joy. Joy, you finally get to meet Nolan and Lissa."

With a shy smile, Joy said hello and began to climb into the Enclave. Olivia informed Nolan, "Joy comes over on Thursdays and Fridays until her dad picks her up."

The Littles nodded in agreement, so Nolan responded with surprise, "Umm…great. Sounds good."

When the Enclave pulled into the garage, Nolan instructed, "I'm guessing nothing has changed. Change clothes, chores, then homework, right?"

Everyone groaned, "Yeah."

"Same rules when Lissa and I are with you, then," Nolan pointed out as he hopped out of the car and pet the dogs. Lissa jumped out and rushed over to Bogey and Barkley, causing the dogs to bark and jump with joy.

Not realizing Amelia was home, Olivia and Joy slipped up to Olivia's bedroom and closed the door. They immediately hugged one another and began kissing. "We only have a minute or so before my brother wonders where we are," Olivia warned.

"Hi!" Amelia called out. "Who's up here?"

Lucas, just reaching the top stair, announced happily, "I'm here, Mama." The twins echoed their little brother as Amelia popped her head out of her bedroom. Her hair was askew, her skin sallow, and her eyes sunken. She looked exhausted.

"Where's Livie?" their mama asked.

"She's here somewhere. Joy's here too - it's Thursday," Ria pointed out.

"Hmm… I wonder where they might be," Amelia wondered with thinly veiled suspicion. "Olivia?" she called out. Amelia heard no answer, but had a hunch that Olivia and Joy were in Olivia's bedroom.

"You look tired, Mama," Anna observed as she rubbed Amelia's hand.

"I am," Amelia confirmed. "I came home early because I'm so tired I can barely stay awake."

"Are you sick?" Ria inquired.

Amelia sputtered, "I don't think so. Just… just sleepy." Instructing the crew, Amelia ordered kindly, "Now go change clothes and be quiet – Ryder is resting. Ria – knock on Olivia's door and tell her to head downstairs. I'm going to say hi to Lissa."

Normally, Amelia would pounce down the steps with joy. Tired and worn, however, Amelia yawned as she descended.

"Amma!" Lissa beamed from ear to ear when she saw Amelia. She ran to her and offered a tight hug.

"Hi, Sweetie!" Amelia greeted. She leaned back and placed her hands on Lissa's shoulders, "You look great. Really. Just vibrant."

"You…" Lissa grimaced. "You…umm…"

"Look crappy, right?" Amelia interrupted. "I came home early – I'm exhausted after far too many hours of surgery. My damn boss insisted I get some rest."

"Dads can be pretty insistent," Lissa giggled.

Amelia and Lissa headed up to the Master Bedroom to catch up. Before leaving Nolan behind, Amelia instructed, "Open doors only for Miss Olivia and Joy, Nole. Can you keep half an eye on them?"

"Sure… I guess," Nolan responded with confusion.

"They're a couple, although your dad prefers to pretend he doesn't know that. Livs has the same rules the two of you used to have," Amelia clarified.

"Ah, got it," Nolan smirked as he called out for his sister.

Amelia and Lissa flopped onto the bed and lay on their sides facing each other. Giggling, the two caught up on all of the important and trivial aspects of their lives. With a tear in her eye, Amelia grasped Lissa's hand and sang, "I am so thrilled to see you. I miss you way too much."

"Same," Lissa echoed. As their eyes locked on each other, both knew for certain that the other was holding back big news.

Simultaneously, they asked the other, "What's up?" They chortled and attempted the question again. Once more, they spoke at the same time.

"You go first," Amelia insisted as she patted Lissa's hand.

"I can tell you're holding out on me," Lissa pressed.

Gazing toward the ceiling, Amelia's girlish grin gave her away, "Well…"

"Holy Moly, Amma," Lissa exclaimed, reading Amelia's mind, "You're pregnant."

"No, I'm not," Amelia laughed uncomfortably.

Lissa narrowed her eyes and drew her chin toward her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

"I was going to tell you that Owen and I talked about visiting you two in England next year," Amelia contended.

"And there's no baby?" Lissa pressed.

"Larissa Lorraine… that's my question for you. You're radiant and your hair looks thicker. Fess up," Amelia coaxed.

Looking down at the bed and tracking the comforter's pattern with her finger, Lissa shook her head and reported sadly, "I wish." With saddened eyes, Lissa continued, "My friend, Stephanie, found out this week that she's expecting. Her husband is one of Nolan's classmates."

"Oh," Amelia uttered flatly.

"I wish I could be happy for her. I feel like a really crappy friend," Lissa confessed.

"Something tells me she understands," Amelia reassured her daughter-in-law.

The two talked for nearly three hours. After the initial giggles and celebrations, the conversation deepened. Amelia shared that she wondered if she was pregnant the previous month because her period was late; then, because she was a doctor, she was embarrassed when her OB/GYN informed her that she was peri-menopausal.

On the other end of the spectrum, Lissa cried as she opened up about her pain and confusion regarding the possibility of becoming pregnant again. The two, with Lissa disclosing more, spoke about their husbands and the state of their marriages. Amelia listened proudly as Lissa described finding her voice and identity. Lissa praised Nolan for walking with her through it as she attempted to navigate the changes in their roles. When she spoke, Amelia emphasized how she and Owen were trying to find time together. Adding up everyone's schedule made for a home of organized chaos.

The ladies heard keys jingling as Owen bolted up the stairs and beelined to the bedroom. With exuberance, he opened the door and smiled widely. "Hi, Beautifuls," he kidded. Playfully, he dove onto the bed and grabbed each of their hands. "Feeling better?" he asked with concern as he kissed Amelia's hand. She shrugged in response.

"And how about you? Liss! You look fantastic," Owen beamed as he sat up and hugged her.

"It's wonderful to be home," Lissa responded with a smile.

"We're elated to see you," Owen grinned. "Mia and I were so thrilled last night when Nolan told us you were coming for a few days. It's like old times. I love having the family all together."

Amelia smiled in agreement and asked Owen, "Any ideas for dinner tonight?"

He moved his gaze to his wife and shared, "I'm thinking take out. Pizza? Chinese?"

"Chinese," Amelia confirmed as Owen shuffled off the bed and toward the closet.

From the other side of the wall, Owen changed into jeans and a sweatshirt as he called out, "I'll get the food if you call it in." Amelia reached for the phone and dialed the number that she had memorized.

"Liss, can I steal you away? You and I can catch up on the drive to the restaurant while Amelia rests," Owen suggested. With playful scolding, he pointed out, "I'm guessing there was little napping this afternoon as the two of you chatted the day away." Amelia winked at Lissa and rolled her eyes at Owen before shifting onto her other side and closing her eyes.

In the car, Owen masterfully maneuvered the conversation to the topic of Lissa undergoing medical testing. His gentle approach reflected his love and did not come across as intrusive. Urging her to seriously consider genetic counseling and a hysteroscopy, Lissa pointed out that her doctors had all insisted that such extensive testing only occurred after three miscarriages.

Owen blew air up toward his forehead as he disclosed, "With second trimester loss, investigations can occur after two losses. Has Nolan tried to advocate for the analyses?"

"I haven't let him, Dads," Lissa admitted.

"Why not?" Owen quizzed with an edge.

"I'm scared," Lissa confessed. "I'm afraid to find out horrible news, but I'm even more terrified they'll convince me to become pregnant. What if I lost another baby? I can't deal with that."

"The odds of that are so small, honey," Owen tried to reassure her.

Lissa paused before revealing additional worries. Reluctantly, she faltered, "Dads… we're heading to England soon, and I can't imagine going through another miscarriage so far from home. Defining our lives around a pregnancy at this point seems like a crummy idea."

"You're right. You two are still young. There's plenty of time," Owen rationalized. "I hope I don't sound like I'm pushing you."

"I know you brought it up because you care," Lissa assured him.

Owen pursed his lips and regarded Lissa with saddened eyes, "I know how deeply you want to be a Mom."

"If we're going to undergo all sorts of tests or investigate other possibilities, I want the timing to be right," Lissa explained. "We can decide when to consider options and now isn't ideal."

"And you can accept the reality of waiting?" Owen confirmed.

"I can," Lissa nodded. "After all, Nolan's a Rhodes' Scholar. What an opportunity! It'll be fun to explore England together and not be bogged down with medical worries."

The Shepherd-Hunt clan gathered around the table with everyone in his or her traditional seat. Owen beamed as he took in the sight and listened to the laughter. Squeezing Owen's hand, Amelia smiled at him and joined in observing the family.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Anna called out forcefully. "We are all here, and we have to share highs and lows."

"How about another game?" Ryder moaned.

"Like what?" Lucas questioned.

"Poker," Ryder quipped sarcastically.

"Finish the Story," Olivia proposed.

"Great call, Livie," Owen affirmed. "Do you want to start?"

"Do you guys know this one?" Olivia asked Nolan and Lissa. They both shook their heads. "By the time it comes to you, you'll get it," she reassured them without offering instructions.

Beginning the story, Olivia stated, "When Ryder was all better, he thought about what kind of car he would buy."

As everyone chuckled, Anna added, "He decided he wanted a purple car with flowers painted on it."

"No matter what color, Ryder knew he wanted a really fast car," Amelia tacked on.

Owen laughed and continued the story, "He was disappointed when his mom and dad insisted on going car shopping with him."

"That's not imaginative, Daddy," Olivia interrupted. "That's just real life." Owen winked at Olivia and then encouraged Lucas to take a turn.

"Before Mama and Daddy were ready to leave, Bogey and Barkley made a sled and took Ryder to the car shop so he could pick out whatever car he wanted," Lucas giggled.

"But Mom and Dad flew in a helicopter to the dealership and surprised Ryder," Ria imagined.

Nolan scanned the family and gritted his teeth with open lips, "They insisted he buy a Smart Car even though he wanted a van." The Littles laughed at the extreme difference while everyone else chortled about the innuendo.

"Everyone in Seattle knew when Ryder was driving by because he was the only one who drove a purple Smart Car with daisies painted on it," Lissa stated.

"And Ryder refused to ever give anyone in the family a ride again because he couldn't believe how warped they were," Ryder concluded with a grin.


	16. Chapter 16 - Little Conversations

**Chapter 16**

 **An Imperfect Life – Little Conversations**

 **Friday, February 2** **nd** **\- Saturday, February 3** **rd**

As the day drew to a close, Nolan lay behind his wife and brushed his hand along her arm and side. "Mmm…Home," he mused softly with half-opened eyes.

Lissa peered over her shoulder and smiled gently. Leaning upward, she kissed her husband and teased, "Even if Lucas took over your bedroom?"

With a chuckle, Nolan admitted with a wink, "Yeah, I'm still kinda pissed about that." He gazed around the guest room and recalled memories. "Then again," he began as he kissed Lissa's neck, "I like sleeping with my Lissa in the room I was once forbidden to enter."

"Like you didn't come in anyway," she teased.

"Still…" Nolan hummed as he raised his eyebrows playfully before nuzzling his nose into Lissa's long, blonde hair. "I don't have to stress about being found out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`/

Down the hall, Amelia rested her head on Owen's broad chest. Peacefully, the two snuggled in silence as the day faded away.

Stroking her hair, Owen stated with pleasure, "I love having us all under one roof… having the family gathered together."

"Mmm," Amelia mused sleepily. "Me too."

"I was thinking we should do some sort of family thing tomorrow," Owen vaguely imagined.

Amelia chuckled and suggested, "Tomorrow is Saturday. The whole family's here. I'm sure someone has broken some rule over the course of the week. If it's like old times, you could discipline the kids and enforce some slave labor."

"Oh, great," Owen huffed, "Is that how they'll all remember me? In therapy, they'll process their father the slave driver and his enforced yard work?"

"Just teasing," Amelia reassured him as she stroked his chest.

"I know," Owen confirmed with a grin. Exploring an idea, Owen suggested, "We should go to the treehouse. When's the last time any of the older kids went out there?"

"Good question," Amelia sighed happily. "I can't remember the last time _I_ was out there."

Owen pulled Amelia's body closer and hinted with a husky tone, "Really?"

Giggling, Amelia peered upward with a sly grin, "Ohhhh… _that_ time. That was an incredible treehouse adventure."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~``'

As his father and his older brother settled into bed with their spouses upstairs, Ryder snuggled under a blanket in the playroom. Beside him was Jessica, one of his girlfriends-of-the-moment, who was a fellow soccer player and had met Ryder at a recent tournament. As the two cuddled, they caught up on recent events.

"When I saw the news coverage about the accident, I flipped out. Your car was wrapped around the barrier and other cars were twisted around one another. It was surreal," Jessica disclosed as she squeezed Ryder's arm.

With chipper intrigue, Ryder piped up, "My car was on the news?! Damn… I wish I could've seen that."

"You don't," Jessica insisted, mired in fear and solemnity. "I can't believe everyone survived."

Realizing the levity of Jess' memories, Ryder kissed her shoulders, neck, and cheek as he comforted her, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Me too," she sighed. "I'm thankful my mom knew a back way to find out if you were in the hospital."

"Yeah?" Ryder inquired.

"We called, gave them your name, and asked for your room number. Once we had that info, I knew you were alive," Jessica explained.

Pulling Jessica onto his lap, Ryder groaned in sympathy, "Were you really worried I'd died? Jess…"

She leaned her forehead on his and admitted, "After I saw the car… well, yeah."

"I couldn't die and leave you," Ryder soothed in his best Don Juan imitation. He pulled her waist toward his and kissed her.

Falling onto his chest, Jessica rubbed her cheek on Ryder's shoulders. His strong, practiced fingers massaged her back as he comforted her. The two whispered and kissed for hours, and Jessica slipped out of the house and off the property at 3:00 am. Ryder, with full permission and encouragement to sleep at all hours, knew that he'd be able to sleep the next day away without any interruptions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 **Saturday, February 3** **rd**

Nolan awoke at 6:00 a.m. and prepared to head out for a run. Stopping in the kitchen, he discovered Lucas sitting on a bar stool eating cereal.

"Hey, kiddo, why are you up so early?" Nolan inquired as he rested his forearms on the counter.

"Sometimes, I wake up first," Lucas shrugged matter-of-factly. "I make breakfast and then," Lucas scanned the room before whispering, "watch TV until someone wakes up."

Impressed with Lucas' sneaky secret, Nolan chuckled and asked, "And nobody's ever found out?"

"Nah," Lucas shook his head, "I have supersonic hearing so I know when other people are coming downstairs."

Nolan grinned and messed up Lucas' curls, "You're sneaky, Little Man. If I'd done that, I would have been in really big trouble."

"From who?" Lucas questioned with surprise.

"Dad," Nolan responded with insistence.

Wrinkling his nose, Lucas regarded his eldest sibling with disbelief, "What? Dad's a softie."

"Who's a softie?" Owen quizzed as he rounded the corner, having heard Lucas' entire statement.

Lucas jutted out his chin and popped his hands onto his waist, giggling, "You!"

"Me?" Owen feigned shock. Lowering his eyebrows heavily, Owen added, "I'm the big meanie around here."

"You are not," Lucas laughed.

"What's happened to you, Dad?" Nolan teased.

"The Littles have worn me down," Owen winked. "And… Lucas has his mom wrapped around his little finger and fully in his corner."

Lucas held up his pinky and giggled, "Daddy! Mama wouldn't fit around my pinky!"

Kissing his youngest son's forehead as he wrapped his hand around the back of his head, Owen hummed, "Mmm hmm. Ok, Luke."

Nolan, turning to Owen, suggested, "How about if you and Mom join us for coffee sometime today?"

"Sure," Owen agreed with curiosity. "Just for fun or…?"

"We want to chat with you guys. We have some questions," Nolan smirked.

"Sounds good," Owen answered and held his glance hoping for more information.

"Did you want to join me on my run?" Nolan asked, aware of the gaze but not its meaning.

Owen chuckled, "Maybe tomorrow. Right now, I'm going to focus on being stern and strict with Lucas."

"Good luck with that," Nolan nodded upward before turning toward the door and stepping outside.

Lucas patted Owen's arm and inquired, "What's stern mean?"

Shaking his head, Owen smiled and replied, "Oh, Lucas, it's something the youngest kids never have to experience from their parents."

``````````````````````````````'

Later that afternoon, Owen, Amelia, Nolan and Lissa huddled around a small circular table at a nearby Starbucks. Although the four were usually relaxed in one another's presence, each person seemed to be experiencing varying degrees of uneasiness.

The sound of spoons stirring coffee drinks was the only noise in their midst. Amelia wrapped her hands around her steaming cup and pursed her lips. Lissa scanned the room, watching the scenes in the café. Meanwhile, Nolan focused on Owen while Owen fixed his gaze on the table. Occasionally, any two members of the party would meet eyes and smirk.

With hesitation, Nolan began to speak, "There's nothing like a Seattle coffee shop."

Amelia and Owen chuckled uncomfortably before Nolan continued, "We weren't sure where to go – we needed a place where we wouldn't be interrupted."

"This seems like a fitting choice," Owen affirmed. Silently, he thought _What's the big news? Spit it out._

Amelia glanced over at Owen and raised her eyebrows expectantly. He exchanged a glance and nodded toward her. Reaching her hand across the table and grasping Nolan's hand, Amelia shared, "What's up, Nole?"

"A couple different questions," Nolan introduced. "We've been holding off because neither scenario is a reality yet."

"What do you mean?" Owen puzzled.

"We've talked about this for a long time, but have never reached a point where we needed to officially arrange it. If we were ever to become parents, which at this point seems so remote, would you be willing to assume custody if something happened to us?" Lissa requested.

"Yes," Owen nodded. "We would."

"Without any doubts," Amelia confirmed. "And, Lissa, the possibility isn't remote," Amelia attempted to assure her. "Sweetie, there will be baby Tremblay-Hunts when the time is right."

Lissa, unconvinced, shrugged as Nolan asked the second question, "Our other question is more immediate. If the house sells before we move to England, can we come up here and stay until we leave?"

Owen clapped his hands together and smiled from ear to ear, "Are you kidding? Absolutely! Can you move in tomorrow?"

With a soft smile, Nolan emphasized, "This is our backup option. I'm pretty sure the timing of the house sale will sync with the move." Lissa smiled and held back a giggle, remembering Nolan's analysis of sales patterns and timing.

"However and whenever it plays out, you're always more than welcome," Amelia assured them. "I can't promise you that Lucas will give up his room, but there's plenty of space."

"Who's room?" Nolan joked.

"Depends who you ask…" Owen chuckled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

When the four returned to the Lake House, Ryder and Nolan headed to the tree house before the others. As they lay on their backs staring at the wooden ceiling, they knew their time together was becoming limited. Nolan and Lissa were leaving the following day and Ryder would be heading to the Naval Academy for one last summer full of camp. The following summer, he'd enroll in the Academy as a college student.

"What was the coffee date all about with Mom and Dad?" Ryder questioned.

"We asked them if they were willing to assume custody of any kids we might have if anything ever happened to us," Nolan disclosed.

Ryder looked over at his brother, "Is Lissa pregnant?"

"No," Nolan answered flatly.

"You guys were asking just in case? That seems pretty weird, Dude," Ryder wondered.

"I want all our legal documents in order before we leave the country. We're updating our wills and trust docs," Nolan detailed.

"You're so flipping smart. I'd never think of that," Ryder admitted.

"That's my job – I'll remind you and Livs about all that crap for the rest of your lives," Nolan chuckled, more than willing to make his words true.

"How do you decide on a guardian?" Ryder wondered aloud.

"For us, Mom and Dad seemed like a natural choice. They still have little kids at home, they know what the hell they're doing, and they're planted here. Livs is too young at this point and your dreams of flying all over the world and living on ships doesn't really match with a life full of raising babies."

"Good point," Ryder smiled. "It sounds like you guys made a mutual agreement – we'll take your kids if you'll take ours."

"True, I guess. We've been listed as guardians on their will for a while. Before that, we were already on the hook for Livs," Nolan jested. "That was set up a long time ago. You're lucky you're close to 18; otherwise, you could end up in my custody too."

"Nightmare," Ryder responded flatly.

Pushing his brother's arm, Nolan quipped, "Thanks, Fly Boy."

"I can't believe I'm admitting this, but having you and Liss in charge wouldn't be bad. You're like my Assistant Dad anyway," Ryder explained.

Ryder's words put a lump in Nolan's throat. His role with Ryder and Olivia had always seemed to be a mixture of sibling and parent. Hearing Ryder acknowledge it was meaningful. After a brief pause, Nolan changed the subject and inquired, "How are you feeling about college at the Academy? You have some big changes coming up at the end of next year."

"I can't wait," Ryder proclaimed enthusiastically. "I've spent the last few summers there, and I love it. I'm heading back this summer. It'll be fun this year because I'll be at the top of the heap."

"Until next year. When you actually enlist, you'll be at the bottom again. And you know what that means? They're going to shave off all that sexy hair of yours." Nolan teased.

"Whatever," Ryder laughed. "It's just hair. Besides, it'll make my green eyes stand out."

Laughing heartily, Nolan challenged, "What?!"

"That's what Jenna told me," Ryder chuckled.

"Who's Jenna?" Nolan asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"One of the girls I'm dating," Ryder commented without drama.

Nolan shook his head. "How many are there at any one time, Ry?" he questioned.

"Jealous?" Ryder teased.

Huffing, Nolan groaned, "Quite the opposite. I don't get it."

"That's because you haven't tried it," Ryder refuted.

"Ryder… I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in ever experiencing a serious relationship with anyone other than Larissa," Nolan declared.

"I know, I know," Ryder grumbled. "And that's wonderful for you. Me? I prefer not to be over-focused on one person."

"What do you suppose that's about?" Nolan wondered.

"Umm… I like to have fun, I'm hot, and the ladies love me?" Ryder questioned with a bit of surprise and sarcasm at Nolan's inquiry.

"No, really. Can I challenge you a little?" Nolan sought his brother's permission.

"Whatever," Ryder shrugged.

"You were two years old when Dad died and seven when Mom died. I wonder if somewhere deep inside that affected your willingness to commit to any one person deeply. Maybe after all that loss you decided connecting deeply with someone wasn't worth the risk of losing them."

Ryder, stunned to find himself holding back involuntary tears, said nothing. The two brothers lay in contemplative silence as they stared at the ceiling.

Twenty minutes later, after extended silence, Owen and the Littles invaded the Tree House. Olivia, Amelia and Lissa tagged along behind them. Before attacking Nolan, the Littles teamed up and headed for Ryder. Wrestling with them, Ryder growled, rolled around on the floor, and tickled them. Glancing at his older brother in the midst of the kid chaos, Ryder responded to Nolan's comment in a time and place that would limit further conversation, stating in his defense, "You know, Nolan, maybe I learned to live life fully because you never know what might happen."

Unconvinced but hiding his skepticism, Nolan nodded and seemed to agree, "Good point, Bro."


	17. Chapter 17 - Surprises

**Chapter 17**

 **An Imperfect Life – Surprises**

 **Nolan, 21, graduating from USC, Rhodes Scholar at Oxford beginning in September**

 **Lissa, 21, Junior in college earning a BA in Elementary Education**

 **Ryder, 17, Junior in high school**

 **Olivia, 14, 8** **th** **grade**

 **Annabelle and Victoria, 9, 3** **rd** **grade**

 **Lucas, 6½, 1** **st** **grade (almost 7 – birthday is 7/4)**

 **Wednesday, May 15** **th**

"Ryder," Amelia reminded her son as the Littles finished putting on the uniforms upstairs, "Please remember that you and Lucas have haircuts scheduled after school."

"Yep," Ryder, sitting at the kitchen bar, confirmed as he stuffed a big bite of eggs into his mouth. "What am I supposed to do with Anna?"

"What do you mean?" Amelia inquired.

"Dad told me he's picking up Liv and Ria," Ryder detailed. "That leaves me with Squirt and Bratella."

Leaning closely toward her son, Amelia grimaced and quietly challenged, "Ryder Blake… Bratella? C'mon. She's been working hard and has come a long way in the last few months."

"She's still a pain in the a…" Ryder argued.

Snapping her fingers and turning into Anna's Mama Bear, Amelia instructed firmly, "Don't. You. Dare."

Ryder locked his eyes on Amelia, silently challenging her but not winning their staring contest. Not a morning person, he was in no mood to deal with parental challenges or harsh words, and he did not feel like being cooperative or compliant. Besides, he reasoned, they'd be leaving for Los Angeles the following morning. The likelihood of being grounded or facing some other sort of consequence were slim.

"Ryder…." Amelia emphasized with gritted teeth and frustration, "I need to see you supporting Anna, not making her life more difficult. Nearly her entire week is filled with therapies of one sort or another. She needs her family to encourage and support her while she works though the PTSD."

Again, Ryder simply looked at his mother. Silently, he thought, _Like I wasn't at that car wreck too. Give me a break. It's just another excuse for her to get away with crap._ Additionally, he guessed that Amelia was edgy and impatient with him because she was stressed about packing and preparing for the trip.

"Mama!" Lucas called from the upper level "I can't find my tie."

"I mean it, Ryder," Amelia snapped without specific feedback as she headed toward Lucas. Ryder shrugged and finished his breakfast.

A few minutes later, as Ryder prepared to leave for school, he gathered the twins and Lucas. Amelia reminded him again, "Haircuts after school! Take Anna with you and then head right home. We have a ton of packing to do tonight."

"No problem," Ryder reassured her, relieved to leave the house and escape from Amelia.

Later at the hospital, Owen ran by Amelia as she was consulting on a case in the ER. He wasn't accompanying a patient to surgery, so Amelia hunched that he could be interrupted. Glancing up at her resident, she professionally requested, "Dr. Mason, would you please follow Dr. Hunt and let him know I'd like his input on a patient?"

"Sure, Ma'am," the dutiful resident agreed before stepping away.

Putting her light pen in her pocket, Amelia explained, "Well, Mr. Rohr, your double vision does not seem to be caused by a neurological issue. I suggest the next step is to have an ophthalmologist examine you. There are nerves in the back of the eye that can spasm and create spontaneous double vision."

"As long as it isn't a stroke or seizure, Doc. What a relief," Mr. Rohr shared with relief.

Owen, believing that he was needed for a consult, stepped beside Amelia and smirked at Mr. Rohr. Momentarily forgetting about personal needs, Amelia looked at Owen quizzically. He leaned his head slightly to the side and filled in, "A consult, Dr. Shepherd?" Turning to the patient, Owen extended his hand and shook hands with Mr. Rohr as he introduced himself.

"Are you the ophthalmologist?" Mr. Rohr questioned.

"No, he's not, Mr. Rohr. This is Dr. Hunt. He's our Chief of Surgery," she explained. Turning her head toward Owen, Amelia continued, "Thank you for responding so quickly, Dr. Hunt. The consult is on another case."

"Ah," Owen nodded as he quickly raised and lowered his eyebrows.

"If you'll excuse us, Mr. Rohr," Amelia smiled. "I'll let the nurse know our plan."

Owen and Amelia strolled toward the nurses' station with their steps unconsciously synchronized. After updating the nurse about Mr. Rohr, Amelia turned and mumbled, "How about if we step outside?"

"Sure," Owen followed, unsure why she wasn't leading him to the patient for a consult.

When they walked through the automatic doors, Amelia stepped to the left and stopped.

Joking, Owen observed, "This is the strangest consult I've ever had."

Smirking, Amelia confessed, "Truth be told, I'm your consult."

"You need the training and expertise of a trauma surgeon?" he scoffed with a twinkle in his eye.

"No, I need a moment with my husband," Amelia answered. "Three matters. One, when will you be home from Ria's PT appointment? And, two, I need your help with all the packing. I'm behind the eight ball." Amelia stopped talking and looked at Owen with anticipation.

Reminding her that she'd told him she had three items to mention, Owen stated, "Three?"

"How could you possibly be home by 3:00 if Ria's appointment isn't until 4:00?" Amelia inquired.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, Owen looked deeply into Amelia's eyes and lovingly commented, "Mia, when did you last eat? Let's go grab something."

Amelia glanced from side to side, even more confused than she'd already become. "Sounds great," she smiled, "but why are you so serious?"

"You've been hard to follow, that's all," Owen pointed out. "Your words… we seem to be talking past each other." He concluded with an anxious smirk, worried that he might be skating on thin emotional ice.

Amelia wrapped her arms around Owen's torso and leaned her head onto his chest, "Owen, Owen, Owen…let's stop there and try again." He agreed and she repeated, "We have a ton of packing to do tonight. I need your help, so I'm wondering when you'll be home from Ria's 4pm appointment." She gently pulled away and stood in front of him. When she did, he grasped her hand.

Rather than attempt to sort out the earlier jumble, Owen responded, "She has a 45 minute session today. I imagine we'll be home by 5:30ish, depending on traffic."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Amelia continued, "Good. That'll work. Ryder should be home about the same time."

"You said you had three items to mention. Either I miscounted or you have one more," Owen declared.

With a sheepish grin, she admitted, "How busy is your afternoon?"

Rolling his eyes upward and gazing at the roof and sky, Owen moved his joined lips from one side of his face to the other, taunting her. "I could probably work you in… for a personal consult."

Leading him back inside, Amelia giggled, "Eighth floor on call room at 2:00?"

"Would you like an appointment card or a reminder call?" Owen joked as if they were setting an official appointment.

"Oh, I'll be early. I'll be waiting for you," she winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~'

Ria's siblings often took turns accompanying her to PT and OT. From the time she was born, the older kids were encouraged to understand Ria's challenges from Spina Bifida and to assist her with her exercises as needed. Ria was pleased that Olivia was part of the appointment, although her favorite companion was Ryder. He had a way of making her stretches fun.

When the therapist called Owen, Olivia and Ria into the treatment room, Ria enthusiastically stood up. The treatment room was its own type of playground, complete with a ball pit, special swings, balance beams that stood at various heights above the floor, and cabinets full of toys that doubled as therapy tools.

"Olivia!" the therapist announced with a wide smile, "Today's your day, hmm?"

"Yep," Olivia nodded. "Ree told me that she walked on the higher beam last time. I can't wait to see her do that."

"We'll see if we have time at the end," the therapist promised. "Ria, you know the drill. Let's start."

Ria sat down on the floor and slipped off her shoes and brace. Instinctually, she began stretching her ankle in circles. The therapist leaned down and encouraged her to try stretching in the opposite direction, which was more challenging. Slowing down and focusing more intently, Ria complied.

"How's your brace fitting?" the therapist inquired.

"Good," Ria offered, never wanting to cause a fuss. The therapist asked if she could take off Ria's sock to check for blisters or indentations, and Ria agreed.

"Dr. Hunt?" the therapist beckoned as she motioned for Owen to bend down. "See the pressure markings? We can try to adjust the brace a little today, but it looks like she might need to be cast for a new one." Turning to Ria, the therapist asked, "Have you been growing, Wonder Woman?"

"A little. My mom had to get rid of some pants because they were too short. They still fit everywhere else," Ria explained.

Pointing out the spots where the brace had been exerting pressure against Ria's skin, the therapist reminded Ria that she needed to let her parents know when she saw indentations. "Otherwise, you can end up with some pretty nasty blisters."

"Eww. Those hurt," Ria commented.

Casually, the therapist began guiding Ria's knees in circles. She pressed against Ria's foot and Ria knew to respond by trying to move the therapist's hand. When Ryder or Nolan helped her with the same exercise at home, they would end it by pretending to be knocked over by her strength. Even though they had performed the same joke since she was tiny, she still laughed when they did it.

Olivia took over while the therapist jotted some notes and whispered to Owen. After stretching with Olivia, Ria's hip joints were examined and her gait was observed. Next, Ria stood as tall and straight as she could before bending down at the waist so the therapist could check for early signs of scoliosis and the possibility of a tethered cord. Next, she proceeded through a routine of exercises that helped with muscle balance.

While Olivia spotted Ria on the beam that sat a few inches off the floor, the therapist shared her observations with Owen. "Her foot was a little stiff when she began today, but it loosened right up and became more flexible. Encourage her to stretch her ankle anytime she can: when riding in the car, while sitting in the car or in a chair, before sliding off the sofa. We want to keep that joint supple." Owen nodded as he jotted a note before the therapist continued, "Her back looks great, hip joints are even, and her gait is fantastic. Overall, she's doing fantastic. Is she having any dislocation issues or signs of puberty?"

"She's nine," Owen scoffed in response to the second question.

The therapist nodded, "I know. She'll likely begin soon. SB girls commonly experience early puberty."

Holding back from sighing with dread, Owen returned to the first question, "No dislocation concerns at all."

The therapist smirked at his quick change of subjects and reminded him, "She may not want to take her wheelchair to LA, but she should. There will be times when her stamina can't keep up with her hopes for walking. I'll talk to her about that before you leave; that way, I can be the bad guy while you and Amelia simply follow my orders."

The therapist stepped back over to the girls to interact with them. Many of the exercises, both at therapy and at home, were fun as well as worthwhile. Owen watched the session, recalling all the years of therapy and various memories along the way. The Shepherd-Hunt kids had grown up with Ria's disability being a normal, everyday part of life. Pleased that Amelia had incorporated that mindset into the family's reality, Owen thought about his gratitude for the teamwork that helped Ria be as functional and able as she had become. Preoccupied with his ponderings, he lost track of time and was surprised when the session concluded.

The therapist shared her final insights and instructions, saying, "While you're away this week, work on eye-hand coordination and on constantly stretching her ankle. I'll show the girls a few games they can play for the eye-hand and eye-foot coordination," the therapist explained. "Oh, before I forget, I also want to mention that the numb areas of her leg and foot were a bit cool today. Since she doesn't feel those areas, make sure to keep them warm. She's old enough to be taught to be responsible for checking the area, too."

Once goodbyes had been exchanged, Ria held her arms up and smiled at her daddy. When Owen accompanied Ria to therapy, the long-established routine included him carrying her out to the car. Although she was growing physically, she continued to let Owen carry her. He savored every chance he had to carry his baby girl, knowing that his opportunities were waning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

After their afternoon rendezvous, Amelia scooted out of the hospital and hurried home. Best case scenario, she would have two hours alone in the house before the family returned home. Rushing from the washer and dryer to the kids' rooms then to the multiple suitcases spread out on the floor of the Master Bedroom, Amelia set clothes inside the luggage. The family would only be away for four days, but four days of clothing plus extras to account for spills multiplied by four children led to volumes of items to be packed. Ryder was packing for himself and, later, Amelia would ask Owen to work on the kids' carry-ons with them while she packed for herself and for him.

At 5:15, just shy of two hours, Amelia closed the last of the kids' suitcases. As if on cue, the front door opened immediately afterward.

"Mama! Mama!" Lucas bellowed with enthusiasm.

"Lucas! Lucas!" Amelia imitated playfully.

"I'm coming up there, Mama. It's me coming. You might not even know it's me when you see me," Lucas warned.

Amelia giggled and turned toward the doorway.

"Just wait 'til you see my big boy haircut - I look like I'm _twenty_ years old," he emphasized with pride. He rounded the corner at full speed and proclaimed energetically, "Ta Da!"

Amelia forced herself not to gasp audibly and could sense tears welling in her eyes. Hiding her true reaction, Amelia spit out as convincingly as possible, "Lucas…wow. You _do_ look like a big kid."

"I know!" he celebrated emphatically. "Like I'm twenty or maybe even forty! My baby curls are _all_ gone." He spread his arms widely with joy as he named the shocking truth. The stylist had provided a quality haircut. The issue was that the curls had fully disappeared. Completely. Gone.

"They… they sure are," Amelia sputtered with a plastered on smile.

"But Mama!" Lucas added. "You need to see Anna, too."

Gulping slowly, Amelia responded hesitantly, "I do?"

"Mmm Hmm," Lucas nodded before excusing himself. "I'm gonna go see how my brush is different with my big boy hair."

"Mommy?" Anna called out.

"I'm up in my room, Anna Banana," Amelia disclosed. Anna, her formerly waist-length hair now in an adorable, above-the-shoulder bob with bangs, headed upstairs.

"I have a surprise for you, Mommy!" she giggled.

"You do, huh?" Amelia asked feebly. She braced herself by imagining that Anna had a crewcut, reasoning that she'd be relieved at anything other than a boy haircut on her daughter.

Anna burst into the bedroom happily and twirled around, "Isn't it pretty? I _love_ it!"

"It's adorable, honey," Amelia choked out, again near tears at the drastic change.

"Wait 'til Ree Ree sees it!" Anna anticipated. "She'll wish she'd gone with Ryder too."

"Was this Ryder's idea?" Amelia asked inquisitively as if she was curious about the wonderful change.

"Nope," Anna stated clearly. "The lady asked me how long I wanted it and I told her this long. She asked Lucas what he wanted and he said he wanted to have a haircut like Ryder's. And you know what else? The stylist is going to donate the hair she cut off to a place that makes wigs for kids who have cancer."

"Hello?" Owen hollered as he stepped through the doorway between the garage and house. Surprised, he noticed that the sandwich fixings were not on the counter as he'd anticipated. He and Amelia had planned on an easy, do-it-yourself dinner. With the clock nearing 6pm, he found it strange that the bread, meats, cheese, condiments, peanut butter and jelly remained in their storage places.

Amelia sauntered downstairs and sighed heavily, "Hi, O." She stepped toward him and fell into his embrace as soon as they were near one another.

Instinctually, he kissed the top of her head and softened his voice, "What's wrong, Mia?"

"I'm stunned. Nothing is technically wrong. I'm just taking in reality," Amelia stated without detail.

"Reality? What reality?" Owen questioned.

"Ryder did exactly what I asked him to do. He and Lucas had haircuts and took Anna along. She even had a… trim," Amelia reasoned.

"Then what? What's the problem?" Owen queried. He wasn't so sure about living with a peri-menopausal wife. She seemed more distracted, forgetful, and emotional. It tired him. Pregnant Amelia was far more enjoyable than peri-menopausal Amelia – not that he'd dare to mention that to her.

Amelia pulled away and locked her eyes on Owen. "It's not _bad_ … just not what I expected."

With logical reasoning, Owen made the mistake of replying nonchalantly, "If you had certain outcomes in mind, you should've taken them."

"I didn't know I had certain expectations until they weren't met, Owen," Amelia grumbled as if she was surprised he hadn't concluded that on his own.

Deciding to take the gentle approach rather than the "I've been working all day, I'm beat, and you're a mess" approach, Owen hugged his wife and offered, "Can I make it better somehow?"

"Just remind me that hair grows," Amelia sighed.

"Hair grows," he repeated as he patted her arm. He pondered silently, _Highs and lows at dinner tonight will be an adventure._


	18. Chapter 18 - It's Not Fair

**Chapter 18**

 **An Imperfect Life – It's Not Fair**

 **Nolan, 21, graduating from USC, Rhodes Scholar at Oxford beginning in September**

 **Lissa, 21, Junior in college earning a BA in Elementary Education**

 **Ryder, 17, Junior in high school**

 **Olivia, 14, 8** **th** **grade**

 **Annabelle and Victoria, 9, 3** **rd** **grade**

 **Lucas, 6½, 1** **st** **grade (almost 7 – birthday is 7/4)**

 **Thursday, May 16** **th** **, Seattle**

The Shepherd-Hunt clan made their way south on the Thursday before Nolan's graduation ceremony. After multiple hugs for each dog from each child, the family loaded into the Enclave and made their way to the airport by 9:00am. They were able to avoid the morning rush hour and make it to their gate with time to spare.

To make the entourage more manageable, Owen, Ryder, and Lucas formed one group and Amelia formed a group with the twins and Olivia. Knowing they would all meet up before boarding the plane, the two groups separated once they arrived at the airport. Not having to keep track of every person as they passed through security, stopped to put shoes back on, and walked to the gate meant that Owen and Amelia could experience an easier trip. Separated by gender made bathroom breaks a breeze, with nobody left alone or unsupervised.

Amelia's group stopped at Starbucks on their way to the gate. Feeling generous and relaxed, she bought each of the girls their own treat. Annabelle and Olivia each chose a cinnamon dolce crème and Victoria selected a steamed apple juice. The girls felt mature carrying and sipping from their Starbucks cups in the airport. When they reconnected with the boys at the gate, Lucas was the first to notice the drinks.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, his curl-less hair still shocking Amelia. "Daddy told us we couldn't stop. Why do all the girls have special coffees?"

Owen peered up from the screen of his phone and frowned at Amelia, mouthing, "Really?" His fingers and thumb rubbed together to indicate he wasn't thrilled about the money just spent. Providing her best youngest child, charm-filled smile, Amelia tilted her head just a touch to the side and dropped her chin toward her chest.

In response, Owen's expression did not change. He huffed, looked at his watch, and surrendered, "I guess we have time, Luke. Go wake your brother up and ask him what he wants." Ryder was slouched in his chair with headphones on and his eyes closed. He wasn't asleep; he was simply tuning out.

Nudging his older brother, Lucas pulled the headphone out of Ryder's ear. Ryder jumped protectively and growled, "Hey, Sparky, knock it off."

"I'm pus-posed to ask if you want Starbucks. Me and Dad are walking down there. Wanna come?" Lucas grinned warmly.

"I guess," Ryder grumbled, as if a coffee drink was an inconvenience. He stood up and followed his father and brother from a distance. Once Owen reached the register, Ryder hurried next to his dad and ordered a caramel cinnamon macchiato off the secret menu. Intrigued by the secret menu concept and following suit, Lucas tried to order the same drink. When Owen refused due to the caffeine content, Ryder suggested a s'mores hot chocolate and assured him it was also from the secret menu.

Owen, carrying a large coffee, and the boys returned to the gate and re-joined the ladies of the family. Lucas immediately pointed out, " _My_ drink is from the _secret menu_ , guys. Is yours?"

Without comment, Olivia stared at her little brother with an expression that clearly indicated her lack of interest in his drink. Ria smiled gently and shared, "I didn't know they had a secret menu."

Anna, on the other hand, grumbled, "Why do you get something special? You're so spoiled."

"Anna," Owen growled in a hushed tone. "Enough."

Walking over to Owen and stopping directly in front of him, Anna folded her arms dramatically and lowered her brows heavily. Her resemblance to Owen was uncanny, and he stifled a laugh at her visible frustration over a beverage.

"Yes?" Owen inquired as he lowered his chin and peered at Anna from the top of his eyelids.

"It's not fair, Dad, and you know it," Anna protested.

"Annabelle…two questions," Owen replied. "First, did you like your drink?"

"Mmm Hmm," she admitted freely.

"Second, is life fair?" he asked in a fatherly tone.

"No," she pouted. "But…"

Interrupting, Owen put his hand in the air with his palm facing Anna, "Uh…uh. Was it fair that the girls all went to Starbucks and the boys didn't?"

"But you did," Anna argued. Amelia glanced over curiously, enjoying the show.

"Only because we'd been left out when you went," Owen pointed out.

Lucas, who had been standing by shifting his head from one side to the other like a tennis spectator, piped up, "Yeah, Anna." With great flair, he gulped his drink, licked his top lip and sighed with pleasure.

"But it was fair because you did go. We all went, but Lucas got a special drink," Anna whined.

Owen grimaced at his daughter and said nothing. She knew that the conversation was over and proceeded toward a nearby chair.

"You can have a taste of my drink, Anna," Lucas offered generously. Both parents pretended not to watch to see how the interaction would unfold.

Lucas held the drink out and warned her, "It's still kinda hot. Be careful."

Anna grasped the drink with humility, took a tiny sip and handed it back to her little brother, "It's yummy. Thanks, Luke."

"You're welcome," he beamed, proud of his enormous self-sacrifice. He looked to his parents for kudos but found them both distracted with other matters.

A little deflated, Lucas crawled up onto the seat next to Ryder. Ryder leaned close and mumbled, "That was nice, Dude." The beaming smile returned as Lucas savored every last drop of the drink.

A few minutes later, the cocoa was consumed and Lucas asked Ryder, "Are we sitting together?" If Ryder would let him, Lucas would worship the ground he walked on. Instead, Ryder's indifference reigned and left Lucas unsure.

Ryder dug into his backpack for his boarding pass and encouraged Lucas to do likewise. "Mama holds mine so I don't lose it," Lucas detailed.

"Then go ask her what seat you're in," Ryder huffed with mild frustration.

Lucas stepped over to Amelia and asked her about his seat assignment. With enthusiasm and joy, Amelia quickly pressed the end of Lucas' nose with her forefinger and announced, "You, handsome boy, are sitting by me. Ria is on the aisle and you have the window."

"Oh," Lucas responded with disappointment and downturned shoulders. "Who gets to sit by Ryder?"

"I don't know. Daddy is sitting with Anna and Olivia. Ryder is sitting next to somebody we don't know," Amelia explained.

"I wanna sit with him, though," Lucas sighed.

Amelia knew that if one seat change was made, everybody would want a new assignment. Raising her shoulders upward, she shared, "Sorry. That's the way we're sitting."

"I'm not gonna talk to you for the whole time," Lucas stated in a matter-of-fact, non-bratty tone. He hoped his announcement would either cause Amelia to beg for his attention or would lead to a new seat assignment. However, she knew that Lucas would not be able to remain silent for the entire flight.

"That'll work out because I brought a book that I really want to read. See? We're the perfect seat partners," Amelia expressed. Owen smiled from across the aisle, holding back a chuckle.

Once on board, the flight itself was uneventful. Anna and Olivia raised the armrest and snuggled together. With two sets of headphones and a splitter, they watched a movie together. Owen browsed a few journals he had slipped into his carry on. Because he fell asleep, Lucas ended up keeping his promise about remaining silent. Ria and Amelia shared a puzzle book and chatted quietly. Ryder, to his delight, ended up sitting by a non-communicative businessman who analyzed spreadsheets during the entire flight.

 **Thursday, May 16** **th** **, Los Angeles**

"Hey," Nolan smiled with joy as Lissa returned from school. He approached his wife and wrapped his arms around her. "How'd your final go, Babe?"

"Ugh," Lissa groaned. "I dunno. Maybe ok."

With a chipper comeback, Nolan assured her, "C'mon, Lissy. I'm sure you did great. You really studied hard for this one."

"That doesn't mean I went in totally understanding the material. As long as I get a C," she complained.

Nolan, ever the 4.0 student, held his tongue and attempted not to visibly cringe. With his arm around her shoulders, he led Lissa inside. He'd prepared lunch and had it waiting on the table. Skipping the easy and quick fare of sandwiches and chips, Nolan had cooked a pasta dish, green beans, and garlic bread.

"Nolan James, you are so good to me," Lissa grinned. "I walk around whining and you use your first day off to cook." She leaned over and kissed him, placing her hands on his cheeks. "I love you, Trems."

"I figured it's not fair that my semester is over and you still have today and tomorrow. Lunch was the least I could do," Nolan smirked as he grasped Lissa's hand and squeezed.

As they ate, the couple chatted and reviewed the weekend's plans. Nolan reminded Lissa that he'd be heading over to Addie and Jake's for dinner. The original plan was to give Lissa time alone in the house to finish the research paper that was due the following day.

When Nolan brought up the topic, Lissa inquired, "What time are you planning to leave here?"

"Probably about 3," Nolan guessed as he brought a bite to his mouth.

"I'm pretty sure I could have my paper done by then. As soon as I'm done eating, I'll work on it," Lissa stated with assurance.

"Do you want me to read it over?" Nolan asked, just as he'd asked every single time she'd written a paper for a class.

 _In high school, he consistently offered to help and she repeatedly turned him down. Once Lissa entered college, Nolan tried to explain without arrogance or a sense of superiority that college papers were much more difficult. He continued to make himself available as an editor and critic. Always certain his input would help Lissa secure an elusive A grade, Nolan yearned to be involved. Lissa, pleased to receive a B or C, saw no need for Nolan to waste his time "perfecting" her schoolwork._

 _In her sophomore year of college, Lissa finally relented and agreed to have Nolan review a paper before it was due. By agreeing to his assistance, Lissa hoped Nolan would be satisfied and stop asking to be her editor. Letting him weigh in once, she hoped, would lead to the end of his begging. Eagerly and enthusiastically, Nolan sat down at the dining room table and poured over Lissa's work. About an hour later, the paper was returned to her with red markings, from the first review, and purple notations, from the second read. Colorful arrows dotted their way from one page to the next and editing codes too complex to follow filled in the white space._

" _Man, does it suck that much?" Lissa questioned when she saw the voluminous comments covering each page._

" _Oh, Blondie, it doesn't suck at all. This is a decent paper," Nolan reassured her. "But if you incorporate my comments, it'll rise above decent."_

 _Without a doubt, Lissa knew Nolan simply wanted to help. She knew he was acting out of love. Nonetheless, his edits stung. Frustrated with herself for interpreting Nolan's pure intentions as a commentary on her intelligence, Lissa breathed deeply and held back tears. She thanked him with a smirk and excused herself to the computer. Thankful that he had spotted a few typos, Lissa began by correcting them immediately and attempted to steady herself emotionally. As she reviewed his comments, he used some vocabulary she didn't know. His suggestions, if followed, would create volumes of additional work._

 _Just as she sat back in the desk chair and exhaled deeply, Nolan approached her from behind. With a loving shoulder squeeze, he peeked at the screen and happily inquired, "How's it going?"_

 _Tears escaped from her eyes and increased her emotional response. She turned toward him and sniveled, "I want to stay stupid. This is way too much work. There is no way I can make all these changes tonight."_

 _Feeling defeated and sad, Nolan wrapped her in his arms and reminded her that all would be well no matter what she did or did not chose to do. Rather than edits and research, that night was filled with Kleenex and reassurance._

 _After that experience, Lissa resumed her boundaries. Never again would Nolan read her papers. Besides not wanting to turn into a pool of embarrassing and unnecessary tears, Lissa had learned that life was better when Nolan was her husband and not her teacher. For his part, Nolan never seemed to completely comprehend what had happened and why it was significant. He continued to request to read her papers, and his offers were consistently declined._

 _Over the years, Nolan's offers to assist with papers or homework became an inside joke between the couple. At times, he would offer, Lissa would calmly refuse, and the conversation would end there. When they were feeling more playful, Nolan would chase her around the house in an attempt to secure the paper she held in her hand or slipped down her shirt. More than once, Nolan attempted to find the paper in her school bag once he thought she was asleep; each time, Lissa heard him rummaging and caught him. One time, she put a noise-activated key chain in her bag so that he would set it off when his hands reached inside it. He jumped back in shock as she laughed heartily._

"Nolan," Lissa grinned mischievously, "Why in the world do you think I'll agree to that?"

Sputtering, he fumbled, "Well… I _am_ about to graduate with two bachelor's degrees and a Master's degree. I mean, there are students who would _love_ to have my help."

Lissa chortled through her nearly indecipherable words, "No, thank you, Trems." In her own loving way, Lissa was adept at managing Nolan's confidence and bringing him down a notch as needed.

Leaning close to her with his best puppy dog eyes, Nolan softly rubbed his index finger under Lissa's chin, begging, "Please, Blondie…" She shook her head slowly with a silly grin on her face. He whined, "Liss… this is the _last_ chance we'll _ever_ have. Just think how full of regret you will be when you look back on this day."

"Puh-lease," she giggled. Making fun of his expressions, she made duck lips and wrinkled her brow as she mocked him, "Poor Trems. All he wants to do is read some really crappy writing and offer his brilliant input. It strokes his ego to be needed and to share his intelligence with those less fortunate."

With a playful huff, Nolan stood and picked Lissa up. He swung her over his shoulder and ran through the house and into the bedroom. When he reached the bed, he slowed and gently placed her on it before crawling on top of her and tickling her. As she wiggled and begged for mercy, he taunted and teased her.

Eventually turning tickling into kissing and groping, the couple took full advantage of the afternoon's empty calendar. After making love, they dozed in each other's arms until 2:30pm. Lissa sleepily declared that she would take her laptop with her and finish her paper in the car during the drive to Addison's house. For his part, Nolan was completely befuddled with the idea of typing an intellectual reflection during a drive. Without commentary, he smirked and reminded her to pack the charger just in case. Once prepared, the two headed to the beach and fervently anticipated seeing the family.

 **Thursday, May 16** **th** **, Los Angeles. Evening.**

After a lengthy, traffic-filled drive, Nolan and Lissa pulled up to Addison and Jake's home. Lissa immediately spotted the rental mini-van and announced that the family had already arrived. With everyone arriving at different times and the possibility of delayed flights, dinner consisted of pizza and salad. Soda, water, and, of course, wine and beer, chilled in the cooler ready to quench thirst.

Earlier, when Owen, Amelia and the kids invaded the space next door, the family settled in to what Lucas deemed their "second home." The idea of walking out the slider, onto the deck, and then directly onto the sand was beyond his wildest dreams. He swore he remembered Nolan and Lissa's wedding at that site three years prior, even though Owen and Amelia were fairly certain his memories came from pictures and from the stories the family told about that day.

 _After Lissa's second miscarriage, the Tremblay-Hunt's case was transferred to Jake. Lissa was privately relieved because, in Lissa's mind, Addison and the miscarriages were lumped together. Although Lissa did not blame Addison for the losses, she simply disliked the memories that bubbled up when she saw Addie. Seeing Addison immediately led to painful recollections of grief and dashed hopes._

 _With the stronger possibility of miscarriage in the future, Jake was the doctor best suited to tend to Lissa's OB/GYN needs. The couple only saw Jake once after the second miscarriage because Lissa was adamant that she was unwilling to pursue testing, procedures, or another pregnancy. Jake and Addie were supportive and understanding when Nolan called to explain that Lissa didn't need to stay on their clinic's patient load. At the same time, they were devastated that Nolan and Lissa had faced so much loss and pain._

Prior to their arrival, Amelia and Addison had discussed the situation. Amelia assured Addie that the couple would take their cues from Addison and Jake's behavior. Having been trained in appropriate etiquette at St. Frances, the couple would surely not bring up the topic unless someone else did. Even then, Amelia stated with certainty, they would likely find a polite way to deflect ongoing discussion.

Lissa and Nolan felt slightly awkward as they arrived and were about to encounter Addie and Jake. In unison, they reminded each other to take a deep breath before they stepped through the door hand-in-hand. When they appeared on the deck, the kids were deeply engaged in making a sand castle. Ryder and Owen were both asleep on lounge chairs. Henry and Jake were not present. Addie and Amelia rambled non-stop, talking over one another yet hearing every word.

Amelia was the first to spot the Tremblay-Hunts, and she immediately popped up and ran to them with wide arms. Kissing them back and forth and exclaiming how their presence filled her with joy, Amelia smothered them until the Littles and Olivia took over.

With kids climbing and pulling on him, Nolan nodded briefly with a professional-level smile when he and Addison saw one another. When they moved to Lissa for hugs and kisses, Nolan approached Addison and offered a brief, somewhat stilted, yet well-intentioned hug. The two chatted briefly until Nolan returned to the other end of the deck.

"Who's going swimming?" Nolan wondered with anticipation as he ripped off his t-shirt and flip flops.

Lucas jumped up and down, barely able to contain himself, "Can we, Mama? Can we?" Amelia chuckled and nodded, reminding the kids that they needed to stay in Nolan's reach.

As Anna and Lucas ran to the sea, Nolan placed Ria on his back. He stopped to kick Ryder awake and declared, "Get up, Fly Boy, we're going swimming." Together, he and Ryder ran after Anna and Lucas. Soon they were frolicking in the waves and the Littles were squealing with joy.

Lissa, remaining on the deck, approached Addison with a weak smile. She reached out her left hand and gently grasped Addison's right upper arm as she greeted her and offered, "Dr. Montgomery, nice to see you. Thanks so much for hosting us tonight."

Returning the greeting with a wide smile, Addison commented authentically, "Lissa, it's really wonderful to see you. I'm thrilled to have everyone here. Jake and Henry should be here soon. Henry had a swim meet downtown – I'm sure they're stuck in traffic."

Lissa reflected, "Traffic's pretty thick out there." After a brief awkward pause, Lissa smirked and stated, "If you'll both excuse me, I think Dads has the right idea. I'm going to go slide onto Ryder's empty chair." Although she wasn't necessarily feeling sleepy, lying in the chair with her eyes closed would prevent uncomfortable interactions with Addie until everyone returned from swimming.

Down at the water, Nolan told Ryder about the situation that stemmed from the second miscarriage. Once he returned to the deck, Ryder made a point of staying close to Lissa. He continued to feel devastated by the miscarriages and, although he would never fully show his cards, he felt compelled to tend to her in any way that might make her life easier. Besides, he reasoned, she provided a compelling excuse for avoiding small talk with his parents and Addison.


	19. Chapter 19 - Babies Big and Small

**Chapter 19**

 **An Imperfect Life – Babies Big and Small**

 **Saturday, May 18** **th**

Due to his superior intellect and copious collection of AP credits before entering USC, Nolan finished a dual Bachelor of Science degree in Accounting and Economics and a Master of Accounting degree in four years. Even by USC standards, Nolan stood out as a wunderkind. Owen and Amelia burst with pride when they learned that Nolan had been chosen as a speaker for the graduate school ceremony. Nolan, far more comfortable crunching numbers or speaking in small groups, had become increasingly uneasy as graduation day approached.

Fully dressed in a new charcoal gray suit that he and Owen had purchased on Friday and a new tie that Lissa had given him that morning, Nolan stood at the bathroom mirror primping. Fretting intellectually more than truly worrying about his appearance, Nolan mouthed the words to his speech and occasionally confirmed his memorized words with the notecards lying on the counter.

"Trems? It's time to head over," Lissa reminded him as she approached the bathroom. She was dressed in USC colors: a dark red dress with a flowing gold scarf. Even after ten years of being his sweetheart, she still took Nolan's breath away. Her soft blonde hair was just the way Nolan liked it best – completely straight and flowing down her back and chest. As a subtle touch, a pinch of the front portion of one side was clipped back to her ear with the hair further back covering the clip.

Nolan stepped back, sensitive as he faced the milestone day. With wonder, he grasped Lissa's hands in his and softly kissed her, commenting, "You look gorgeous. I love you."

With a slight giggle and a hint of embarrassment, Lissa answered, "I love you, too, and I'm so proud of you. You amaze me."

Teary, as he would find himself at times throughout the day, he grinned and whispered, "Thank you, Babe." He turned toward her and gently stroked her hair as she straightened his tie. The tie she had given him was a perfect match to her outfit. She couldn't wait to have pictures taken that would promptly find their way to the mantel and into thank you cards that she would write and Nolan would sign.

When they arrived on campus, Nolan carried his graduation robe on one arm and wrapped his other arm around his wife. "Where are we meeting Mom and Dad?" he inquired, knowing Lissa had handled all the details of the day so he could concentrate on his speech.

"I'm meeting them outside the stadium. You need to head over to the staging area by the basketball arena," she explained. As a participant in the ceremony, Nolan would be sitting in the front row of graduates. He had joked with friends that he only agreed to speak so he didn't have to wait all the way until "T" came around in the line of graduates ordered alphabetically.

Upon hearing the instructions, Nolan picked up his wife and kissed her, emphasizing once again how much he loved her. "Tell everyone 'hi' from me. I'll meet up with you after the ceremony," he promised. The two walked toward their destinations, both dreamily thinking about the other. This was a special day, a memorable day, a day that would remain significant in the years to come.

When Nolan reached his assigned area, he saw Chris, his longtime friend from St. Frances, standing across the room. Chris would also be recognized during graduation; in his case, he would receive a Scholar-Athlete award. After checking in, Nolan beelined for his buddy. The day before, Chris had confided in Nolan that he planned to ask Linnea, his long-time girlfriend and one of Lissa's dear friends from high school, to marry him.

Nolan grinned widely and held out his hand, "So?"

Puffing up with pride, Chris grasped Nolan's hand and wrapped his free arm around Nolan in a bear hug. A football player for USC who had just been drafted by the NFL, Chris was not of small stature. His bulk stood in contrast to Nolan's tall but slender frame. In a rare instance, Chris was speechless.

"She said 'yes,' huh?" Nolan laughed.

"She did, man. She did," Chris confirmed joyfully. "July 20th in Seattle, right before my team's summer camp. You'll still be in the country, right? Because I need a best man."

"We leave in September," Nolan clarified. "And I'd be honored to be your best man. Congratulations."

"Fantastic, bro," Chris celebrated. "It'll be a crazy time: getting married, spending our honeymoon moving, and plopping in to a new city all at once. Once camp starts, I'll barely see my own wife."

"Something tells me you two will make the best of it," Nolan pointed out. "Besides, that'll give Lissa a chance to come visit before we leave for England. She has quite the summer of goodbyes planned."

Meanwhile, Lissa sat on the edge of a raised cement planter outside the stadium, waiting for the Shepherd-Hunts. With the wide open space between her and the parking lot, she immediately spotted the decked out crew as they spilled out of the minivan. Likely for the last time, Amelia was able to convince Olivia to match her sisters. They each wore a simple burgundy sun dress with a white sweater. Ryder and Lucas sported grey suits a shade lighter than Nolan's and crisp white shirts. Wearing his parents down, Ryder convinced them to allow him to forsake a tie. Lucas, worshipping all actions Ryder, was allowed to do likewise. Owen and Amelia's outfits complemented the kids' clothes. Try as he might, Owen was not able to go tie-less. Instead his tie matched Amelia's gold and white dress that featured a burgundy scarf. The family was picture-perfect USC.

As they headed toward Lissa, but before they reached her, Lissa found herself bombarded by Linnea's cheek kisses, soft hugs, and gentle laughter.

Glancing up at her friend as Linnea sat down, Lissa sputtered, "No way… did he?" Holding up her left hand, Linnea blushed as she displayed a ring made for a queen. "Holy moly, Linnea, it's a boulder!"

"I know," she smirked. "I think it might be a little excessive, but Chris insisted it's perfect for me."

Lissa embraced Linnea and offered, "Congrats, congrats, congrats, friend! When's the big day?"

"July 20th in Seattle. Will you be in the wedding?" Linnea requested.

"Of course I will," Lissa agreed.

"Piper's the Maid of Honor, of course, but I want you right there next to her," Linnea explained as she referenced her wild, untamed twin sister.

"Who did Chris choose?" Lissa asked with intrigue.

"Nolan and Jason. Do you know Jason? He's on the football team," Linnea detailed. "I hate to break it to you, but Nolan's the Best Man, so Piper will adore hanging on him and temporarily steal him away that day."

With a knowing chuckle, Lissa replied, "Piper doesn't worry me."

"Hey!" Lucas exclaimed as he encountered Linnea and hugged Lissa. "I think I know you."

"I'm Linnea," she shared, "and I remember the day you were born. You're Lucas, right?"

"Uh huh," Lucas nodded. "I can't believe you knew that 'cause I just had all my curls cut off and now I look different and older."

Lissa sighed as she messed up Lucas' hair, "You did, Mr. Man. What the heck?"

"I wanted to look like Ryder," Lucas shrugged. "I look 20 or 30, don't I?"

With a stifled giggle, Lissa spouted, "Oh, definitely. Without a doubt."

The twins, followed by Olivia and then by Ryder approached soon after Lucas. Lissa commented on how wonderful everyone looked as Ryder picked her up and hugged her. "What's with your Tremblay's? You don't just hug, you have to pick me up," Lissa teased.

"We do it because you're so petite – it hurts my back too much to bend way down there," Ryder joked as he set his sister-in-law down. "You're lookin' hot today, by the way," he whistled.

"I think so too!" Lucas added with a slow nod.

Saved by Owen and Amelia, Lissa hugged her in-laws and suggested they head inside to sit down. She reintroduced them to Linnea and happily passed along the big news.

The ceremony, while long like most graduations, was a delight. In addition to Nolan's speech, which was delivered flawlessly with just the right amount of introspection, gratitude, and humor, the First Lady of the United States offered the keynote. After the event, as the Stanford photographers posed the stage and honored speakers, the First Lady introduced herself to Nolan and congratulated him on being named a Rhodes Scholar. That she knew about the honor and knew his name blew Nolan away. Graciously, she agreed to pose with the whole Shepherd-Hunt clan and again with just Nolan and Lissa.

After posing with the First Lady, Nolan sought out various friends and professors for photos. Finally, as Lucas was tiring of hanging around the campus in his suit and "yucky grown up shoes," Amelia and Lissa configured various groups of the family for the last of the pictures. Pictures of Nolan with his brothers, another with his sisters, and another of the girls with Lissa were snapped. Nolan smiled as he stood next to his extremely proud parents, stood alone, and then posed with his gorgeous wife. One last group, infrequently spotlighted as a separate group, gathered around each other; as Nolan, Ryder and Olivia posed, Nolan and Ryder both became misty as they wished Blake and Kayla were present.

"I think we've taken more pictures than a wedding photographer," Owen joked as he attempted to wrap up the session. He turned to Nolan and inquired, "Do you cheeks hurt from all the smiling?"

"A little," Nolan grinned. He locked his eyes onto Owen's and sincerely stated, "Thanks for all you and Mom have done to get me to this point, Dad. Really." Owen choked up and embraced his son, once again falling over himself with words of pride and love.

Next, Nolan embraced Amelia and thanked her. "There are days," Nolan mused, "that I can't believe you stayed with Dad when he unexpectedly received custody of three crazy Canadian children. I know you're a Super Woman neurosurgeon and all that, but, to me, you're a Super Hero Mom."

"Our first baby… all grown up and such a shining superstar. You're my Son the Super Hero," Amelia whispered in response as her voice cracked, "Just don't tell the other two."

Whispering back, Nolan replied, "You mean the two to whom you've said those exact same words?"

"Yep," Amelia winked.

After the day flew by, Sunday came to a close, and Nolan was a recent graduate of a prestigious university. He and Lissa hosted the family at their house for a cookout and reveled in the brief time they had one-on-one before everyone arrived.

Predictably, Amelia and Owen came prepared. In addition to stopping at the store for drinks and watermelon, they had packed up a sprinkler, swimming suits, and play clothes for the kids. After changing into shorts and shirts themselves, Owen readily assumed the grilling tasks and insisted that Nolan put his feet up. While Nolan ignored the invitation to relax and instead played with his youngest siblings, Owen instructed Ryder in the intricacies of grilling. Although Ryder acted unimpressed, he treasured the time he had that night with his dad as they stood side by side and casually talked with one another. Casually sneaking drinks of his dad's beer whenever Owen's head was turned was a bonus. Little did Ryder know that Owen was fully aware, but pretended not to notice.

Amelia and Lissa sat in the back yard and dreamily summarized the day. Both were impressed with Nolan's speech and touched by the personal thanks he offered to each of them publicly.

"Amma?" Lissa inquired with slight hesitation at one point in the conversation.

"Hmm?" Amelia responded with closed eyes as she drank in the sunshine.

"It's none of my business and, actually, I kind of can't believe I'm even asking," Lissa started.

"Ask away, Lissy-Lou. What's on your mind?" Amelia quipped.

Lissa took in the sight of this phenomenal woman who served so many roles: surgeon, mother, mother-in-law, wife, friend, daughter, sister. "Are you and Dads…" she stopped, almost chickening out, "How do you know when your family is complete? I mean, do you plan to have another baby?"

Amelia popped up quickly, "Holy Hell, Larissa, way to give me a heart attack."

"What do you mean?" Lissa laughed.

" _That_ topic is the furthest thought from my mind on the day my twenty-one year old wonder child graduates with overflowing numbers of degrees from Stanford," Amelia expressed. Lissa grinned in response, unsure whether to change the subject or press the topic.

A few minutes later, Amelia thought aloud and processed, "There are days I can't imagine being done having babies. I love raising kids. Being a Mom has been the most wonderful role I've experienced in my entire life. I can't even begin to describe how wonderfully Owen and I have fit together as we've parented with each other." She paused and Lissa remained quiet. "There are other days, especially as Owen and I become older, that I can't imagine re-living the sleepless nights, the days of running after a fit-throwing toddler, or the angst of sending another kindergartner off to school."

"You make parenthood sound so compelling," Lissa teased.

"You know it is," Amelia bantered. "I suppose my other concern is medical. Here I am in my late 40s – my eggs are expiring, and the chance of complications is high. Besides that, I'd be attending that kid's college graduation in my late 60s. Life is short, Liss. I think Owen and I want to revel in our relative health and travel a bit while we can. We have loved, and still do love, being parents, but we also find deep fulfillment in our careers. When all is said and done, we will have raised six amazing kids. I'm not sure a seventh is in the cards."

"Makes sense," Lissa summarized plainly. "You're just such fantastic, amazing parents. You're great at this gig. It's sad to think that nobody else will get to experience you as their mom and dad."

"And what about you, chickadee?" Amelia pressed, unsure if she should venture into the territory.

Lissa sighed and smiled softly, "Nolan and I discussed babies the other day. When we're in England, we might try conceiving." Amelia beamed, but remained quiet and hoped Lissa would disclose more details. Lissa continued, "Of course, we really have no interest in becoming pregnant until we deal with the exams, testing, and all of that mess. I need answers before we take another chance. I'm almost ready to face all that. Nolan's been a saint about waiting for me to be ready to face it all."

"Are you starting the testing here in the States?" Amelia inquired casually, attempting not to show her excitement.

"We're undergoing some genetic testing this coming week. We'll take that with us to England and start fresh from there. New doctors, new hospitals, a new chapter," Lissa put forth.

"You need to do what feels right to the two of you. I'll support you 100% whatever and whenever you decide," Amelia assured Lissa.

Lissa gazed up at Amelia and weakly uttered, "Thanks." She looked down at her hands and then back at Amelia, tearfully stressing, "I'm ready for the unpredictable timing, the weird pregnancy symptoms, and even the birth process. I know for sure, though, that I can't face another miscarriage. Before I become pregnant again, we are going to turn our bodies inside out and upside down trying to make sense of the losses before we conceive."

Wanting to scream, _You might not find out why, Larissa! You might have to try and risk_ , Amelia held her tongue. She ached to mother her, to somehow take away the fear and replace it with reassurance. However, Amelia knew for certain that nobody could control that part of life's journey. She thought, _The exquisite chaos of having a family will play out in its own way and time._ Somehow, though, those words seemed unhelpful. Instead, Amelia grasped Lissa's hand and squeezed.


	20. Chapter 20 - Connections

**Chapter 20 - Connections**

 **An Imperfect Life**

 **Sunday, May 19** **th** **, Los Angeles**

With graduation festivities coming to a close and visiting families heading back to their homes, Nolan's close knit group of fellow students gathered for dinner. Some were moving away from Los Angeles during the coming week in order to begin careers in New York City, Boston, Chicago, and even London. Nolan and two others found work in Los Angeles. In Nolan's case, he was interning with a financial services company until mid-August. After thoroughly considering their options, the Tremblay-Hunts chose to wrap up their summer commitments in Los Angeles by mid-August then spend a few weeks in Seattle before relocating to England.

While completing their degrees, Nolan, Marla, Rob, John, Joe, Kip, and Jim had become a study group as well as close knit friends who gathered together often. The idea of leaving one another and the safe cocoon they had formed was bittersweet. They celebrated one another's next steps, yet grieved futures that didn't include each other and the frequent cookouts, drinks, and conversations they had shared.

On Sunday night, the group gathered in a back room at one of their favorite haunts, _Embry's_. Along with the seven students, Marla's husband Bob, Rob's wife Stephanie, and Lissa were present. Marla and Bob had brought their children, Nina, 3, and Michael, 2 months, and Kip and Jim brought their newly adopted daughter, Sarah, who was only four weeks old. Stephanie's baby bump was beginning to show, and Lissa was keenly aware that she and Nolan were the only childless couple at the event. John and Joe, best friends headed to Boston, were both bachelors and childless.

Not surprisingly, Nolan and Lissa were the first to arrive. Nolan ordered wine for Lissa and beer for himself as they waited for their friends. They stood by the window and relived moments with the family over the weekend until Kip and Jim arrived with brand new Sarah, who was experiencing her first outing. Lissa had not seen the Daddies since the baby arrived and ran to both of them to offer congratulatory hugs.

"You're only hugging me to butter me up so you can hold Sarah, aren't you?" Kip teased as Lissa raised her shoulders and glanced out the side of her eyes.

With a sweet smile, she quipped, "I do truly love you both, but this little one… she's the only one of the three I can hold." Kip set the car seat on the table and unbuckled the half-awake newborn. Like a natural, Lissa wrapped the baby in her arms and began to slowly sway left to right.

"She's observant," Lissa noticed as she kissed the baby's forehead and took in the baby scents of powder and lotion.

Kip boasted, "She is! She constantly gazes around to take in her surroundings."

Just behind Kip and Jim, the bachelors arrived. Nearly always arriving as a pair, John and Joe, brought levity and laughter to the group with their jokes and stories of dates with co-eds. Nodding to Kip and Lissa, the two bee lined to Nolan and Jim and avoided the baby out of fear.

Rob and Steph didn't appear for another 15 minutes, and Bob and Marla were the last to arrive. While the rest of the group waited for them, drinks were poured and a multitude of selfies were snapped. The chatter was lively as congratulations were shared. The entire time, Kip, who had been a stalwart friend after Lissa and Nolan's second miscarriage, reveled in seeing Lissa and Sarah bonding. Without concern, he wandered between different conversations, leaving his daughter in Lissa's loving care.

Wondering where Lissa was as he swallowed a swig of beer, Nolan peered over the bottle and spotted her sitting by herself cooing over Sarah. Lissa was in a far-away world of her own creation as she drank in Sarah's presence. Nolan slipped over, dragging a chair, and sat down. Gently, he gazed at Sarah and stroked her tiny cheek with his index finger. "She's such a gift," he whispered with awe.

"Can we take her home?" Lissa chuckled.

"I wish," Nolan replied as he locked his eyes on Lissa. "She's absolutely beautiful. Can I?" He set his beer on the table and held out his hands. Nearly feeling the pain of her empty arms, Lissa soaked in the action of handing Nolan a baby. One of the bachelors meandered over, making a joke and asking Nolan to forecast the tax deduction benefits versus the expenses of raising a child. Lissa nearly cried as Nolan smiled widely at the joke before offering, "Priceless. Absolutely priceless."

When Rob entered and saw the baby in Nolan's arms, he quipped, "What a relief… now I know Steph and I have a possible babysitter." Nolan chuckled and invited Rob, who he knew was a bit anxious about his impending role of becoming a father, to hold Sarah. Rob declined, suggesting he didn't want to have to go out back to fight with Lissa over who would hold Sarah during dinner. Stephanie tumbled in after finding a parking spot and wrapped Lissa in a tight hug. For the first time, Steph's bump was easily seen, but Lissa couldn't bring herself to comment on it.

Choosing seats organically as they made their way to the table, Lissa happened to sit next to Steph and across the table from Nolan. The couples with children were sitting at the other end of the table and the bachelors, perhaps unconsciously, chose seats next to Nolan and Lissa which left them at the childless end of the table.

Steph immediately joined in conversation with Marla and the other parents. While Steph drilled Marla with pregnancy questions, Kip and Jim listened with fascination as Lissa overheard Marla describe every detail of each of her pregnancies and share her birth stories. Nolan, Rob, Joe and John were busy discussing their new jobs or roles and detailing the inconveniences of moving. Easily exhausted by too much conversation anyway, Lissa the introvert focused once again on the wonder of Sarah. When Nolan noticed Lissa wasn't engaged with either group, he rubbed his foot against her leg until she looked up with a serene, baby-induced smile. He mouthed, "You ok?" and moved his eyes from one side of the table to the other. With a soft nod, Lissa assured him she was fine.

Having been pregnant and knowing how the topic of pregnancy overtakes Mamas, Lissa wasn't hurt by the conversation to her right. She consciously chose not to participate, even though her involvement would have been welcomed warmly. Throughout the night, she tended to little Sarah, and nobody would have dreamed of separating the two. Marla's little girl, Nina, came over to touch the baby and describe the adventures of becoming a big sister. Lissa, at that point, was in her element.

At one point, Marla and Stephanie made a point of looping Lissa into their conversation. Steph, thrilled about Lissa's summer opportunity, encouraged her to share her summer plans with the others. Lissa announced that she had found a position with a private school that held academic enrichment programs for 1st-8th grade. She would be teaching reading to 1st – 3rd graders and dance to all ages. Nolan, overhearing her words, jumped into the chat and shared, "Isn't that fantastic? She's going to shine. It's a wonderful opportunity."

Before long, the night came to a close and the group peeled off little by little. After holding and admiring Bob and Marla's newborn son, Lissa emptied her arms and handed Michael back to his daddy before slipping into light coat Nolan held for her. Hugs and best wishes were shared by all, with promises to remain in touch. Everyone knew, though, that the group would never quite be the same.

As they stepped onto the sidewalk, Nolan wrapped his arm around Lissa's shoulders and bent down to kiss her. "How are you?" he asked with gentle concern.

Lissa smirked and replied with a hint of a melancholy tone, "I'm ok. Let's just walk… I don't feel like talking."

Without his wife seeing his expression, Nolan grimaced and tightened his arm around her. She rested her head on his ribs as they walked with layers of bittersweet realities accompanying them home.

 **Wednesday, May 22** **nd** **, Los Angeles**

"Are you sure?" Nolan inquired with concern as he tied his tie and glanced behind him using the mirror.

"Nole," Lissa assured him from the bed where she sat hugging her bent legs, "I'm having blood taken at the lab. You don't need to be there."

He leaned over and kissed his wife who still in her PJs and whose hair was halfway in a ponytail and halfway sticking every direction but down. Pausing, his lowered eyebrows hugged the bridge of his nose in concern. With hesitation, he agreed, "You'll call me as soon as you're done?"

Lissa rolled her eyes and smirked, "Chromosome micro array – it just sounds scary. All I have to do is throw my arm onto the counter, let them stick me, and sit still to end up with a Hello Kitty band aid."

With mock sadness, Nolan pouted and whined, "They didn't give me a Hello Kitty band aid when they took my blood."

Reaching for a pillow, Lissa threw it at her husband and giggled, "Get out of here before I rip that suit off you and attack you."

Shaking his head as he hurried out the bedroom door, he joked, "You make it difficult to leave home, Lissy."

"Love you!" she hollered as her husband headed toward his Jeep.

 **Friday, May 24** **th** **, Seattle**

"Grey Sloan, incoming MVA by ambulance. Female, early 20s. High impact trauma. Signs of severe bleeding, impaired consciousness, tachycardic with heartrate of 110, hypotensive at 80/50. ETA two minutes," the speaker announced after Owen answered the jarring sound of the alert.

"Two minutes. We'll be ready," Owen responded. Hollering to the staff around him, he ordered, "Let's be ready, people. Leason, take your intern with you and meet the bus. Michael: FFP, RBC, Platelets on standby, crash cart at the ready, warmed fluids."

"Yes, Doctor," Michael, the nurse, nodded. He rushed to the trauma room and prepared the space for the serious incoming injury.

Owen threw on a yellow gown and made his way to the outside bay just as the ambulance was pulling up. As he opened the door, he ordered, "Leason, move across from me. Filmore, have my back." He looked at the EMT and asked the standard question, "What have we got?"

The EMT repeated and enhanced what Owen had learned over the radio, "MVA, female, early 20s, high impact. Impaired consciousness, tachycardic at 115, hypotensive 75/50. Shocked her once on the way in, doc. She's serious."

Nodding as he took in the information, the team surrounded the bloodied patient and wheeled her to Trauma One. The EMT followed them into the space, finishing his report and supplying Linnea's name. "Boyfriend's on his way. Minor injuries, has her purse and ID."

"Crap," Owen shook his head as he listened for breath sounds. He studied his patient's face and shared, "My son and his wife are going to be in her wedding in July. Let's make sure she makes it." He reported, "No breath sounds on the right."

"Chief," Leason announced, "She's bleeding through her mouth."

Glancing over, Owen tested the resident. "What do we need to do, Doctor?"

"Roll her on her side, prepare a bronchoscopy," came the reply.

"Good. Get it ready, but hold off on the procedure until I give the go ahead," he nodded. Turning to the intern, Owen ordered, "Listen and tell me what you hear."

"Strong breath sounds on the left, silence on the right," Filmore reported. Owen nodded as he palpated Linnea's torso and took in the sight of her discolored skin surrounding his hands. "Dr. Hunt, hypoactive bowel sounds."

"What could that mean, Filmore?" Owen quizzed.

"She's full of blood and might need a chest tube," Filmore replied, trying her best to remain centered. This was one of the grizzliest traumas she had seen during her intern year. Often, her residents would shoo her out of traumas and have her run samples to the lab or retrieve blood.

Owen nodded, "She does. What's different for this patient?"

Not knowing the answer, Filmore paused. Leason interjected, "Two chest tubes. One at the 4th intercostal space for the pneumothorax and a second at the 6th intercostal to drain fluids."

"Come over and assist," Owen invited the resident. "Which tube should be inserted first?" The intern stepped back and watched the doctors work. Under Owen's watchful eye and coaching, Leason smoothly inserted the chest tube that would drain the blood. He praised Leason's flawless efforts and ordered Filmore to keep an eye on output for the time being.

"DCR," Owen told Michael, who quickly inserted an IV and grasped three of the tubes hanging from the IV pole. A 1:1:1 administration of red blood cells, plasma, and platelets was given.

"Chief?" Filmore inquired, "DCR?" Leason was horrified her intern was bothering the Chief while he navigated through the depths of a trauma.

"Damage control resuscitation. She's bleeding profusely. We'll gain early control of bleeding through the blood cocktail. Further procedures can begin once homeostasis is restored. Excellent question."

"We're opening her up right here?" Filmore stuttered.

"We'll keep an eye on the thorocostomy," Leason explained. "How's her output?"

While Leason tested and instructed her intern, Owen surveyed the situation as a whole. He ordered warmed IV fluid boluses and moist oxygen. While not ideal, Linnea needed to regain consciousness before being taken to the OR. Once he could confirm she was capable of even minimal interaction, the team could wheel her to surgery.

Waiting for Linnea's eyes to flutter, Owen felt his heart beat fiercely in his chest. Normally, he wouldn't be aware of his own body while working on a trauma. In this case, the trauma involved a kid he cared about.

Amelia burst in to the room, "Need a consult? I hear you have an MVA."

"Basic neuro wouldn't hurt," Owen muttered before pointing out, "Dr. Shepherd? It's Linnea on the table. She and Chris were in the car."

Locking her eyes on her husband, but maintaining a poker face, Amelia proceeded to run through an exam. "Has she been conscious at all?"

"In the ambulance. Not here. We just warmed her and DCR'd," Owen reported. "She should begin stabilizing."

Everyone in the room took a breath as they waited for Linnea to open her eyes. Amelia pulled Linnea's eyelid up and flashed the pen light in Linnea's eyes, encouraging, "Linnea, it's Dr. Shepherd, Nolan's mom. C'mon, Linnea, we need you to open your eyes."

As Amelia pulled the second eyelid upward, Linnea blinked and became aware of her excruciating pain. She let out an agonizing scream before moving her head from side to side in order to survey her surroundings.

Owen whispered to his resident, "Leason, start a catheter as soon as you can and quietly walk Filmore through the procedure. We'll transport as soon as it's in."

"You're in the hospital, Linnea. We're preparing to take you up for surgery. Dr. Hunt's operating," Amelia shared gently.

"Car crash…" she mumbled weakly.

"Right, you were in an accident. You're in the hospital. We've got you now," Amelia repeated.

As her bloodied brow furrowed and the rest of her face winced in pain, Linnea stared at Amelia and sputtered with panic, "C…Chris?"

"Minor injuries. He's on his way. You'll see him after surgery," Amelia disclosed as Linnea moaned in pain.

"I hurt," she groaned.

"I know," Owen affirmed as he leaned down. "We're taking you to the OR right now, Linnea. Can you stay awake on the way?"

"Hurts bad," she muttered as her face contorted.

Amelia ran alongside the gurney and reached out her hand, "Squeeze my hand, Linnea. Focus on passing the pain to me." Unable to grasp strongly, Linnea wrapped her hand around Amelia's anyway and held on.

Running ahead to scrub, Owen met up with Derek at the sinks. Derek had just completed an aneurysm clip and was taking his time scrubbing out. "Hunt," Derek nodded and smirked as Owen entered.

"Hey," Owen frowned. He stepped over to the sink and began to scrub.

"What's coming in?" Derek inquired quizzically, puzzled by Owen's expressive face.

"Friend of Nolan and Lissa's. MVA. Pretty sure I'll discover copious internal blessing. Hemorrhagic shock, unsteady BP upon arrival. Blunt trauma resulting in tracheobronchial injuries," Owen detailed.

"I'm sorry," Derek offered slowly. "Need another set of hands?"

"I'm good," Owen smirked. "Leason and an intern." He nodded toward the OR and continued, "Mia's in there too. She's not needed surgically, but she needs to be in there for her own peace of mind. Know what I mean?"

Derek observed his sister, knowing she'd minimize her emotional concerns if she knew Derek was watching her. He knew her expressions and observed, "She's worried."

"Yeah," Owen nodded once as he pursed his lips and stepped off the water pedal. "So am I." He proceeded to the doors, swinging them open with his back. Bokie stood at the ready to glove and gown him. Amelia, teary, glanced up at her husband with pleading and desperate eyes.

"Are you sure you want to stay?" Owen sought to confirm.

"Are you good with that?" Amelia questioned.

Owen smirked from behind his mask, "No problem." He turned to his resident for a report. She had been monitoring the patient while he scrubbed. "Any news?"

"She's oliguric," Leason reports after checking Linnea's urine output. "Pulse is stabilizing slightly. Hypotensive but improved since arrival at 85/60."

"We need to prevent the BP from rising further until we have control over this bleeding. Filmore, keep an eye on it," he stated as the intern nodded. He adjusted the operating table, slightly propping up Linnea's body and locked his eyes on Leason, "Ready?"

"Yes, Sir," Leason responded, finding it odd that the Chief confirmed her state.

"Intubate her, then walk me through the bronchoscopy," he insisted. Leason was simultaneously on Cloud 9 and deeply terrified. Owen regarded her from his upper eyelids expectantly, urging, "Let's go."

Leason positioned herself at the patient's head and easily intubated the patient. Owen was impressed that she remembered to perform a selective intubation; the only lung able to breathe steadily was the left one. Leason confirmed correct placement and waited for Owen to confirm her work. He listened to Linnea's left lung and nodded. "Excellent work. Now what?"

"Oxygen saturation is improving," Filmore reported.

"Ready for the bronchoscopy," Leason stated.

Owen shook his head slowly, "Start with a posterolateral thoracotomy. Check your previous work, feel inside with your finger."

Not pausing to apologize or fret about missing a step, Leason followed Owen's instructions and announced, "Right lung is completely collapsed." She paused and appeared confused, "I think I can feel a tear on a bronchus."

"You think or you know?" Owen pressed.

"Sir, this is new territory to me," Leason explained.

"Take your time. Tell me what you feel," Owen coached calmly. Amelia admired Owen's stellar teaching ability and enjoyed simply observing his OR.

"I feel a tear. At least a centimeter. Margins are jagged," the resident reported with slight anxiety. "Dr. Hunt, the tear extends beyond one lobe. I need visualization."

Without a word, Owen reached for the bronchoscope and handed it to the resident, "You're right. You do."

Leason guided the telescope and light through the bronchoscope. Coaching her, Owen reminded her to check the pulmonary artery and then examine the lobe. "Lower lobar bronchus is completely severed from the bronchus. Upper lobar bronchus intact. The lower lobar bronchus may not be not salvageable."

"Correct. We'll go in and take a look. Looks like we'll perform a lobectomy," Owen confirmed as he began to cut from under Linnea's breast around to the area under her right shoulder blade. For hours, the resident and Owen worked to clip bleeders and drain the fluid-filled cavity while taking turns working on and removing two portions of the lung. "Walk me through the next steps," Owen requested.

Leason continued suturing bleeders as she recited, "The upper lobe can be saved and the stump closed with intermittent 4-0 prolene sutures. The suture line can be reinforced with mediastinal pleura. Thoracotomy will be closed with an intercostal drainage tube and the patient will be extubated on table. Patient will be transported to recovery, then to the ICU for monitoring." Because Linnea's body responded well throughout the surgery, her case provided a stellar teaching opportunity. Leason, without a doubt, was earning a clear A.

While the team began closing, Amelia excused herself to find Chris. He, Piper, and Piper and Linnea's mother were in the surgical waiting room, all were ashen and terrified. When Chris saw Amelia, he quickly walked to her and wrapped her in a hug, crying, "Is she ok?"

Amelia patted Chris' back, then reached a hand toward Piper and the mother. She broke away from Chris' strong embrace and encouraged everyone to sit down as she sat across from them. Beginning with positive news, Amelia disclosed, "She'll be taken to recovery within the next five to ten minutes. Dr. Hunt is currently placing the final sutures. Has anyone given you any information thus far?"

All three shook their heads as Amelia screamed internally at the mistake. With her physician poker face, she detailed, "Linnea was brought in by ambulance. She was bleeding internally and was barely conscious. She had low blood pressure and a collapsed lung. Two chest tubes were placed in her side – one helped drain the pooling blood and another was inserted for the collapsed lung. To slow the bleeding, Dr. Hunt performed a procedure called DCR, using an IV to administer red blood cells, plasma and platelets. She was given warmed fluids and oxygen, briefly gained consciousness, and passed her neuro exam without concern. It is unlikely she suffered any brain injuries. We prepared her for surgery and wheeled her to an OR. Once there, the team discovered she had a significant and irreparable tear in her lower right lung. It extended to the middle portion of her lung, necessitating removal of the lower two lobes of her right lung. The bleeding in her torso was brought under control and she was breathing on her own when I left the room. The outlook is hopeful. You should be able to see her in 60-90 minutes when she leaves recovery. She'll stay in ICU tonight for monitoring."


	21. Chapter 21 - Tell Me

**Chapter 21 – Tell Me**

 **An Imperfect Life**

 **Evening of Friday, May 24** **th** **, Seattle**

Owen, scrub cap covering his head, peeked into the Attendings' Lounge with curiosity. "There you are, my beautiful Mia," he observed with a tired but chipper tone.

Amelia was holding her cell phone in her hands and staring at it. Her legs were bent and her feet rested on a table located in front of the sofa. Smirking, Amelia glanced up and sighed, "Hey."

Studying her pensive and somewhat distracted manner, he inquired, "Something going on?"

"I had three messages from Lissa and one from Nolan while we were in surgery. I need to call them back, but I won't be able to mention what just happened," Amelia explained, fully aware of HIPPA and its regulations.

Grimacing, Owen informed his wife, "Linnea's out of recovery. She's being transported to a room, and I was heading up to chat with her family. Want to join me?"

"Yeah," Amelia responded with pursed lips.

As the two walked down the hallway, Owen questioned, "Four messages from the kids? What's going on?"

"Lissa had her blood taken the other day and the lab is requesting that she return for re-testing. She's worried," Amelia reported.

With a shrug, Owen stated factually, "They probably spilled the sample or didn't maintain it at the correct temp."

"You and I know that. Lissa doesn't," Amelia pointed out.

Owen nodded as he grasped his cell and studied the screen. "Looks like they tried to call me, too. I have a call and a couple texts from each of them," he shared.

The couple stepped on the elevator and Derek greeted them cheerfully, "Amy. Owen. Surgery went well?"

"Yeah," Owen nodded.

"I spoke to Nolan and Lissa about half an hour ago," Derek mentioned.

"Why?" Amelia asked with a small hint of frustration as she folded her arms and narrowed her eyes.

At the same time, Owen turned and shared curiously, "Really?"

"She had some blood work the other day. The lab called and asked her to return for another draw," Derek explained.

"I know," Amelia responded as if she knew more than her brother.

Derek shrugged, side hugged his sister as the elevator slowed, and emphasized, "Apparently, they'd left several unanswered messages for their parents. They knew Uncle Derek would be there for them." With a slight chuckle, he stepped off the elevator without looking back.

"Self-satisfied, smug, arrogant…" Amelia grumbled.

Owen huffed with a small laugh, "Mia… how great they were able to reach him when we weren't available."

She regarded her husband out of the corner of her eye as if he couldn't possibly understand. Regardless of age, Derek and Amelia were adept at pushing one another's buttons. While he had kindly reassured the fretful kids, Amelia was more aware that he had no problem pointing out his gracious gesture. Owen chose not to respond, knowing better than to press the issue of Amelia's impressions of Derek's behavior.

Gently guiding his wife out of the elevator by placing his hand on the small of her back, Owen headed toward the ICU. Chris and Piper were standing vigil at Linnea's bedside. Owen smirked with reassurance as he grasped an iPad to review Linnea's latest stats and approached the patient.

Before offering any insights, Owen looked up and wondered aloud, "Any questions?"

Piper, wringing her hands, commented anxiously, "She isn't awake. She is going to wake up, right?"

Amelia grasped Piper's hand reassuringly as Owen explained, "She already regained consciousness in recovery. Between the anesthetic during surgery, the pain killers in her IV right now, and the stressors of the day, she'll probably sleep through the night." After a brief exam and an analysis of the chart, Owen assured everyone that Linnea seemed to be doing well. He assured Piper and Chris that Dr. Leeson would be at the hospital all night and would keep tabs on the situation. Although he encouraged them to consider going home to rest, both begged to remain at Linnea's side and at the hospital overnight. Reluctantly, Owen allowed the two to remain.

Before the Shepherd-Hunts departed, Amelia mentioned she needed to call the Tremblay-Hunts about another matter. She sought Chris and Piper's consent to disclose what had happened to Linnea and the two readily agreed.

Awhile later, when Amelia and Owen returned home, Amelia forced herself to find enough energy to call Nolan and Lissa. Lissa answered, sniffling and stuffed up.

"Honey…" Amelia began. "You sound upset."

"Amma," Lissa sighed. "Uncle Derek told us not to worry. He said the lab probably either didn't draw enough blood initially or made a mistake, but what if it isn't that simple? What if they found something wrong, and they want to test again to make sure? What if," she gasped as her breathing increased, "the bloodwork showed horrible results?"

Amelia could hear Nolan reassuring Lissa in the background. She added to his caring words, "Lissa… I'm sure that's not the case. I agree with my brother, but don't you dare tell anyone you ever heard those words come out of my mouth."

Giggling, Lissa swallowed and took a breath, "Promise." After a brief silence, Lissa added, "You aren't just saying that to calm me down, right?"

Imagining Nolan patiently rubbing Lissa's back, Amelia promised, "Larissa Lorraine… give me a break. Is that who you know me to be? C'mon."

With a laugh, Larissa responded emphatically, "No, but I'm scared. What if we end up finding out some horrible diagnosis or problem?"

"Then we'll deal with it together," Amelia lovingly declared. "However… Larissa, these tests take _months_ to be analyzed. How in the world could the lab have discovered something in two days?"

"I guess you're right," Lissa sighed.

"Guess?!" Amelia taunted.

"Fine…" Lissa groaned. "You're right, Amma. You're right."

"Keep saying that. I like the sound," Amelia pushed.

"You're a goofball," Lissa responded dryly.

With a song in her voice, Amelia insisted, "That's why you love me, girly girl."

"I do love you, Amma. I'm glad you called," Lissa concluded, believing the conversation was coming to a close.

"I love you too, Lissy Lou. Hey, can I chat with Nolan before we hang up?" Amelia asked lightly.

Lissa handed Nolan the phone. Amelia first words warned him to respond without shock or surprise to what she was about to share. He followed her promptings as Amelia detailed Linnea's accident and surgery. Speaking in code, he was able to determine that Lissa would want to head north to see her dear friend. Given the angst over the lab's request, he planned to wait until the next day or possibly even Sunday to share the news and help his wife make travel plans.

 **Saturday, May 25** **th**

The following morning, the mail arrived early. Nolan was in the midst of a run, so Lissa answered the door when the mail carrier rang the bell. Handing her a package the size of a shoebox that was addressed to Nolan, he asked for a confirmation signature.

Nolan usually handled all of the mail since he dealt with their money. His efforts meant one less task on Lissa's 'to do' list, and she was happy to have a husband who sorted and organized paperwork she'd rather ignore. Mainly out of boredom, Lissa leafed through the various mailings. The bills were self-explanatory. Another letter, from Rhodes, piqued her curiosity. She set that letter on the top of the stack. Remembering the package she'd set down as she collected the rest of the mail, she walked back to the doorway. Intuitively, her stomach churned as she picked up the package. When she read the return address, she nearly dropped the box. It read _C. Howe_. No address was listed, but her mother's name and handwriting were clearly before her.

Slowly sitting down on the couch, Lissa wasn't sure what she was feeling as she stared at the box. She had not spoken to her mother in over three years, yet, somehow, her mother knew where she and Nolan lived. For half an hour, until Nolan returned, Lissa sat stone still wavering between numbness and small bubbles of emotion. When she wasn't frozen with shock, anger, curiosity, sadness, and disbelief filled her mind. Her stomach continued to react to the package and the bundle of emotions that arrived with it.

Ten minutes after delivery, Nolan arrived on the porch and caught his breath. Although Lissa heard him run up the steps, she didn't rise to greet him. Cycling through an emotionless period, she wasn't sure what to say. Sweaty and experiencing a runner's high, Nolan flung open the door and beamed, "Hi, Blondie."

With an uncharacteristic expressionless face, Lissa turned her neck to return the greeting, "Hey, Trems."

Although he found her flat affect puzzling, he made no remark. He leaned over to kiss her and ended up pecking her on the cheek when she turned away from him. "Did I do something wrong, Babe?" he wondered aloud with distress. He noticed the mail on the table and spotted the Rhodes envelope. Eager to reach for it, he willed himself to wait until he'd sorted out Lissa's mood… or lack thereof.

"Clarisse sent you a package," she sputtered as she handed him the box at her side.

"Really?" Nolan responded with genuine surprise. "This?"

"That's her name, right there in the corner," Lissa pointed out factually.

Nolan gathered his lips and stuck them out, "Hmm… I wonder what that's about."

"Me too," Lissa muttered with a sense of emerging anger.

Nolan carried the package to the bedroom and set it on the bed before starting the shower and beginning to strip off his sweaty running clothes. Entering the room slowly, Lissa grinned and Nolan misread the expression. He flirted, "Babe, I'm all for it but I have to take a shower first. I can't get that close to you like this, you'll pass out from the stench."

"All for what?" Lissa inquired, knowing he was referring to sex.

Nolan stepped in the shower, disappointed. As he stood under the flowing water, he asked his wife, "What's our plan today?"

"No plans," she responded with a sigh as her fingers traced the edge of the box her mother's hands had touched.

"Hiking?" Nolan suggested.

"Nah," Lissa answered with disinterest.

"Beach?" Nolan peeped with hope.

"Sure," Lissa sighed.

"You don't sound very convinced," Nolan observed. "How about you jump in here with me?"

Lying on the bed, she huffed softly and rolled her eyes without voicing a word.

"I guess that's a no?" Nolan threw out thirty seconds later as he turned off the water and reached for a towel. He threw it onto his head and ran his long fingers over the towel before drying off his body. Then, wrapping the towel around his waist, he leaned on the doorway to the bedroom and grinned at her. "Babe… what's up?" he questioned with a bit of begging and a touch of exasperation.

Without moving her focus from the box, Lissa questioned, "How does Clarisse know our address?"

Sitting on the bed next to his wife, Nolan shrugged and shared, "I gave it to her. Years ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lissa questioned with pain.

"That I gave someone our address? Liss, I gave the gas company our address, and the internet provider…even the cell phone company knows it," he anxiously shared with nervous laughter.

"I asked you a question," Lissa pointed out, tracing the pattern on the bed's comforter.

Nolan, defensive and knowing far more than he let on, stood and dressed without responding.

Repeating herself in the same measured tone, Lissa emphasized, "Nolan, I asked you a question."

"And I told you. I gave her our address a long time ago. Right after we bought the house, I think," he sputtered.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lissa sounded with insistence.

"Tell you what? That I gave your mom our address?" Nolan huffed with discomfort. "I dunno, Liss. Is it a big deal that she has it? I guess I didn't think it was."

"Why are you so tense about this?" Lissa inquired with narrowed, wondering eyes.

Lying, Nolan shifted his weight between his feet and looked to his left, "I'm not tense. I'm confused. I feel like I'm in some sort of trouble for nothing… like you're pissed that I took the car in for an oil change without inviting you to join me."

"Bad metaphor," Lissa frowned, unimpressed. Getting nowhere, she changed her line of questioning, "Are you going to open the package?"

"I guess," Nolan shrugged as he leaned an elbow on the high dresser.

Lissa handed him the box and he accepted it reluctantly. Slowly peeling off the butcher paper, he opened the package and tossed the box lid on the bed. He saw a thick white envelope on the side of the box and shifted it to the bottom underneath the packing peanuts. Pulling out a tie and a card, he held them up. Opening the card, he read, "I know it's not much. Congratulations on your graduation. Give my precious girl a hug from me. Love, Mom"

"Mom?!" Lissa growled. "She signed it 'Mom'!"

Nolan handed her the card and informed her, "Lissa, we have bigger news to discuss. This… it's a tie. That's all. She sent a graduation gift. No big deal." He sat down and grasped her hand without feeling her fingers reciprocate his grasp, "Babe, we need to talk about Linnea."


	22. Chapter 22 - Brace Yourself

**Chapter 22 – Brace Yourself**

 **An Imperfect Life**

 **Monday, May 27** **th** **, SeaTac International Airport**

Lissa stood on the sidewalk outside baggage claim soaking in the moisture in the air. Los Angeles air could be so dry. Being back in the Pacific Northwest rejuvenated her pores. She squinted and leaned to her left, attempting to discern if the small car approaching her was the Boxster.

Ryder pulled to the curb in front of her and hopped out to offer a bear hug. "Hey, Lissa!"

With a lilt in her voice, she laughed, "How long until they realize you stole the Boxster?"

"Very funny," Ryder groaned as he placed her bags in the trunk. She held on to her the signature giant purse that contained all the secrets to life and a few granola bars. He opened the passenger door, then closed it behind her after she entered the car.

When he slid into the driver's seat, he wasted no time, "Nolan tells me you're furiously pissed at him."

"He does, does he?" she queried. "Those exact words?"

"Those are my words. His are much more boring and melancholy," Ryder quipped. "What'd he do? Forget to put the peanut butter away? Leave his shoes in the living room? Belch at the table?"

"No," Lissa chuckled. "He mentioned I was upset but didn't give you the dirt?"

"No dirt. He's always tightlipped on dirt and gossip. Pisses me off," Ryder stated flatly as he drove to the hospital.

"Why would he say anything at all, then?" Lissa prodded, attempting to imagine the conversation between the brothers.

Ryder growled with slight disgust, "He called to tell me your arrival time and then said, 'And be nice to her, she's upset with me and doesn't need any of your crap.'"

Attempting to change the subject, Lissa held back a giggle at Nolan's brotherly instructions pointed out, "I thought Amma was picking me up."

"She was called in to an emergency surgery," he explained. "So I offered to save the day and rescue our damsel in distress. What are you in distress about again? What did Nolan do?"

"Nice try," Lissa commented.

The two chatted the rest of the way to the hospital, with Lissa steering the conversation toward details about listing the LA house. After parking in Owen's spot, Ryder opened Lissa's door and offered to walk her inside. She assured him she'd be fine on her own and thanked him for the ride.

"I'm glad you're here," Ryder admitted gently.

"Me, too, Ry," she smiled before turning toward the main entrance.

Ryder sat down in the car and grabbed his cell, texting, _Dude, she's worse than you. No details at all. None. Now get off your sorry ass and call me. I want dirt._

Within a minute, Nolan responded, _Fine. I gave her mom our address. C sent me a grad gift._

 _BS. More,_ Ryder typed with disbelief.

Nolan insisted, _That's why she's mad. She didn't know I shared our address with Clarisse._

 _Lame,_ Ryder responded. _You should have to do more than that to get her brewing._

 **Monday, May 27** **th** **, Los Angeles**

Nolan sat at the dining room table holding the now-empty envelope in one hand and its former contents in the other. His pencil rested on his teeth, sticking out either end of his mouth. Once again, Clarisse had lost track of her bank account balance and had sent him a collection of stray receipts and papers. She included a note apologizing for the mix up.

He logged on to the bank website and paid the outstanding fees. Rather than transferring the monthly $2,000 from one of his accounts into her account that listed his name as co-holder, he called his contact and changed financial arrangements related to her monthly bills. After concluding his accounting on Clarisse's funds, he opened his email and typed a note:

 _Hi Clarisse,_

 _I received the tie – thanks for such a thoughtful gift._

 _Attached are some pictures from graduation. As you'll see, my siblings are growing up fast and Lissa is as beautiful as ever. She starts a two month stint teaching summer school in early June and received approval to fulfill her student teaching requirements while we're in England. She'll have the month of September to settle in and will begin her assignment in a second grade class in October._

 _I paid the bank fees. We're going to work on finding a new system so you have spending money but don't end up overdrawn. How's that sound?_

 _As always, let me know if you need anything._

 _Nolan_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

 **Monday, May 27** **th** **, Seattle**

When Lissa stepped inside, Owen was waiting for her. He strode over with a grin, his face displaying a mixture of concern about Linnea and joy at seeing Lissa. Wrapping her arms around Owen, Lissa hugged him and immediately inquired about Linnea's condition. Owen held his gaze and suggested that she follow him.

In a small conference room, Owen invited Lissa to have a seat. He explained that he had high hopes for Linnea's recovery. While her healing and progress were slow, each day indicated promise. Chris was by her bedside nearly around the clock and Piper and the twins' mother visited once or twice a day. Due to post-op pain, Linnea was receiving a steady and sedating stream of medication. She was able to hold brief conversations and was aware of her injuries and surroundings. Due to side effects, she regularly faded in and out of sleep. Before walking her to Telemetry, Owen concluded his summary by sharing that Linnea remained connected to oxygen and multiple monitors. He knew Lissa could handle the sight, but he figured telling her ahead of time wouldn't hurt.

After a brief ride in the elevator, the duo turned right and then Owen waived his badge to open the secured doors to Linnea's unit.

"She's to the right, by the corner," Owen informed.

Lissa grasped Owen's hand and squeezed it. He whispered reassuring words to her and encouraged her to go to the room. She let go and stepped through the curtain. Chris, grasping Linnea's hand as he slept with his head resting on the side of the hospital bed, displayed a half-hearted smile as he stood and embraced Lissa.

"She'll be happy to see you," Chris stated.

Lissa stopped at the side of the bed and rubbed her hand on Linnea's shoulder, "I'm happy to see her." Leaning down toward Linnea's ear, Lissa whispered, "It's Liss. I'm here."

With fluttering eyelids, Linnea gazed to her side. When she spotted her close friend, she shared, "Your Dads… he saved my life, Liss."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

After staying with Linnea for a few hours and insisting Chris take a break, Lissa sent a text to Amelia and to Owen to see if either were still at the hospital. A nurse in Amelia's OR responded that Dr. Shepherd would be finished with surgery within the next hour and would meet Lissa in Linnea's room.

Linnea's eyes opened slowly as she offered the hint of a grin. Lissa grinned back and whispered, "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Fuzzy and sleepy," Linnea stated softly.

"Pain?" Lissa inquired as she gently squeezed Linnea's hand.

"No more than normal," Linnea explained. Although she had the option of pressing a button when she wanted pain relief, she decided she'd rather be clear headed than pain free. She showed a sly smile, "Wanna see Dads' handiwork?"

Lissa gritted her teeth but spread her lips, wincing, "I'm not sure. Do I?"

Pulling back the sheet and raising her arm above her head, Linnea used her opposite hand to move her untied gown and expose the area where multiple chest tubes had been inserted and two-thirds of her lung had been removed. She gazed down at the enormous cut and the purple, bruised and discolored skin. Shrugging, she observed, "It looks a hell of a lot better than it did when I first saw it."

Blinking slowly, both staring at it and turning away from it, Lissa commented, "Holy Hell, Linnea. It takes up half your torso!" Linnea slowly turned onto her opposite side to reveal the rest of the cut. Linnea reached over and set the sheet back on top of her friend, "If you're trying to freak me out, you've succeeded."

Laughing, Linnea described, "I can even gross out Chris and Piper. Hard to believe, huh?"

"It's… uh… a sight to see. I think he cut you in half," Lissa cringed.

"He told me that in emergency situations, the cuts will sometimes be longer because they're more worried about gaining access inside the body than about aesthetics," Linnea explained. "I kinda like it – it's like a badge of honor. You know? Like proof that I lived through the accident."

Relieved that her friend could make meaning out of the enormous sutured cut gave Lissa a boost. Linnea's outlook seemed positive, which would help her heal.

As if she was a small child, Linnea urged Lissa to take a self of the two of them and then text it to Nolan. After Lissa pretended to send a text, Linnea, sounding like she was begging for a bedtime story, requested, "Tell me about Nolan. How's his internship? Is he excited about England?"

"Nolan's… good," Lissa forced out. With a fake giggle, she added, "He's been so disciplined about keeping up his running since graduation. He wakes up before heading to his internship and runs every morning. His ability to self-manage both amazes and disgusts me."

Linnea chuckled, imagining a tired, coffee-seeking, PJ'd Lissa greeting a sweaty, already-ran-five-miles Nolan each morning after his run. Then again, she thought, the likelihood that Lissa was awake when he returned was slim. She inquired, "And you're making coffee while he is exercising?"

"Ha," Lissa huffed. "No… you know Nole… he runs, makes the coffee, brings me a cup, and wakes me up with a kiss before hopping in the shower."

"He's too good to be true. You're damn lucky," Linnea pointed out.

Gazing outside and emotionally separating herself from the conversation, Lissa wandered to the window and sighed, "Yep. He's amazing. Always has been…"

Linnea, still hazy from the medication left in her bloodstream didn't fully catch the nuanced response.

For a few minutes, the two did not speak. Linnea pushed the button for additional pain medication and began to drift off. Lissa, unaware that Linnea was not listening and that Amelia had just stepped in the door, broke the silence with a shaking voice, "I lied, Lins. Nolan's not good. I mean, his health is fine but I'm confused. Right before I left to come here, I found out that he gave Clarisse our address years ago. He's been in touch with her – or at least was in touch with her once… He never told me about it, never mentioned…" Lissa's voice trailed off as she wrestled with her mixed emotions and sniffled.

Amelia re-opened the door and made sure sounds emerged from the action. Clearing her throat to garner Lissa's attention, Amelia greeted, "Lissy-Lou! How's my favorite daughter-in-law?" Stepping rapidly, Amelia embraced Lissa from behind. Mid-hug, Lissa turned 180 degrees and reciprocated.

Leaning back, Amelia wiped a tear off Lissa's cheek and furrowed her brows, "What's wrong?"

Lying and wiping her eyes, Lissa whispered, "Tough to see her like this, I guess."

Pursing her lips, knowing the true reason behind the crying, Amelia commented, "She's been through a lot, but she's healing well." Lissa forced a small smile in response before Amelia added, "I'm sure the Littles are eager to see you. Shall we head home to the chaos?"

"Yeah," Lissa nodded. A few minutes later, Piper arrived and relieved Lissa. The three women laughed about Linnea's need to show her scars and watch reactions. After some chatting, Lissa and Amelia walked to the car without significant comment. Every now and then, someone from the hospital recognized Lissa and greeted her. A few times, Amelia stopped to introduce her daughter-in-law to a colleague.

On the way home, Amelia waited for Lissa to talk. The silence accompanied them until they drove through the gate at the Lake House. Assuming Lissa now knew the entire story about Clarisse, Amelia commented, "True confessions. I heard you telling Linnea about Clarisse. I'm sure you're mad, Lissa, but I need to break my regular rule about not interfering. Please cut Nolan some slack. He's been incredibly supportive of her. I've been so touched by his level of respect and how he has ensured that her dignity remains intact."

Lissa said nothing as the car followed the long drive to the house. After the Enclave pulled into the garage and both women approached the door that would lead them to the kitchen, Lissa shared, "Amma… I have no idea what in the hell you were talking about at the gate. All I knew what that Nolan had given Clarisse our address."

Feeling horrid, Amelia stopped walking and took a huge breath. "Lissa…" she called out softly. "I'm so sorry. I just assumed…"

Interjecting, Lissa clarified without turning to face Amelia, "I'm going to greet the Littles with a smile on my face and then head to the guest room. Please give everyone my apologies about missing dinner. Tell them I'm too tired from traveling and need to rest."

Lissa proceeded to walk through the door and call out for the kids. Since it was almost dinner time, everyone was downstairs. Olivia led the parade as she and the Littles greeted Lissa with hugs and celebration.

"Come sit by me!" Lucas insisted as he grabbed Lissa's hand and pulled her toward the dining room.

"Nuh uh," Anna argued. "She has to sit in _her_ spot, Lucas."

Ria held Lissa's other hand and simply smiled up at her.

"Actually, guys, I'm going to go upstairs and rest," Lissa described.

Lucas and Anna began protesting and encouraged Lissa to join them for dinner. Then Lucas, with an expression of loving concern, grinned and reminded her, "You know the rules, Lissa. _Everyone_ has dinner at 6:00 at the table."

Crouching down, Lissa kissed Lucas' forehead and assured him she knew the rules. "This time is different, Luke. Let's have breakfast together tomorrow, ok?"

He reluctantly nodded before running to his chair in the dining room. Olivia, already seated at the table, suspected Lissa was not missing dinner because she was tired. As everyone sat and began dishing up, she asked to be excused to go check on Lissa. To her dismay, Owen's quick permission to do so was retracted by Amelia and Olivia was instructed to stay at the table.

Upstairs, Lissa sat on her former bed and hugged a pillow. She cried into it until she felt steady enough to call Nolan. After washing her face and stretching slowly, Lissa picked up her cell phone and stepped onto the balcony and into the fresh spring air.

"Hi, Blondie…" Nolan answered with surprise. He highly doubted he'd be hearing from her so soon. Lissa attempted to speak and even opened her mouth, but the words didn't come out. "Are you there, Babe?" Nolan wondered.

"Mmm Hmm," Lissa confirmed. Nolan waited for his wife to say more, but he only heard silence.

"Larissa?" he tried again after a minute.

"I…" she sputtered with confusion and sadness. Closing her eyes slowly as tears escaped her bottom eyelid, Lissa's sense of emptiness overwhelmed her. She walked back inside and lay on the bed.

"You, what, Liss? Babe, what's up?" Nolan pressed with concern.

Holding her phone above her, she hung up and immediately typed a text to Nolan that read, _I need to talk but I can't even get sound to come out of my mouth._

Quickly, he sent a response, _Liss… I'm here. Call, text, whatever. You're worrying me, Babe._

Swallowing slowly, Lissa texted back, _Tell me about Clarisse._

Her phone vibrated as Nolan's call connected. She answered without a word and he began, "Lissa, what do you want me to tell you? What's going on?"

So softly that Nolan could barely hear her weak voice, Lissa disclosed, "Amma heard me tell Linnea about the address. On the way home, she suggested I be gentle with you because you've been so supportive and respectful of Clarisse."

Now silence screamed from the other end of the phone call. Eventually, Nolan admitted, "You must feel… what? Hurt? Confused? Disappointed?"

"I… I don't know what I feel yet, Nolan, because I have no idea why Amma said those words," Lissa voiced.

"Where are you right now?" Nolan inquired. "Are you alone?"

"Yeah, in my old room," Lissa confirmed.

"I never meant for this to become so complicated," Nolan explained with regret. "At first, I didn't want to worry you and I thought it was a one-time deal. After it turned into something more, I wasn't sure how to tell you. I'm so sorry, Larissa."

"Why are you sorry, Nolan? I have no details. All I can gather is that you've been interacting with Clarisse in some way and you never bothered to tell me," Lissa contended.

"I'd prefer to discuss this in person. Can it wait until you come home?" Nolan suggested.

Lissa lowered her brows. She wondered how she could answer his question when she didn't know what she would eventually learn. "You tell me," she maintained.

Sighing audibly, Nolan offered, "How about a short summary?"

"Go ahead," Lissa agreed.

"Remember when your mom moved back East? She thought she was in love and married that guy in the service? Actually, he wasn't in the service and he repeatedly beat the hell out of her. The last time he attacked her, she sustained some brain damage. That's why my mom knows – she consulted with Clarisse's doctors. We had just lost Karina – the thought of telling you… I couldn't add to your grief. Maybe I really screwed up making that decision, but it was never meant to be a secret," Nolan explained.

"What did you do?" Lissa questioned.

"What's-his-name was arrested and convicted. I helped her get back on her feet financially. A month or so later, she needed a little more money, then more. After a few months, my mom determined that Clarisse sustained some lasting brain damage. I obtained a Power of Attorney, found her a safe living situation, and began handling her finances and supplying a monthly allowance," Nolan explained. "That's the overview."

Lissa, her feelings no clearer, remained conflicted. Without hesitation, Nolan cared for her flesh and blood. His enormously generous heart reigned once more. However, he kept the actions a secret nearly for the duration of their marriage. Lissa had no doubt Nolan had been acting with positive intentions, but she was unable to shake her feelings of betrayal.


	23. Chapter 23 - Wrestling with Life

**Chapter 23 – Wrestling with Life**

 **An Imperfect Life**

 **Monday, May 27th**

"Lissa? Can we come in?" Amelia requested as she knocked on the guest room door. Her cheek nearly touched the door as she waited for a reply.

Before Lissa responded, Owen placed his hand gently on Amelia's shoulder and whispered, "Maybe we should just leave her alone, Mia."

Opening the door with a curious smile, Lissa greeted her in-laws, "What's up?"

"How are you?" Amelia asked with concern written on her face. She felt terrible about disclosing more about Clarisse than Lissa knew, and she was beating herself up for it.

"I'm fine, Amma," Lissa replied casually. Gazing over to Owen, Lissa opened the door wider and questioned, "Did you two really want to come in or are you just checking on me?"

Looking first at Amelia and then at Lissa, Owen stuttered, "I suppose… umm… I mean, we _will_ come in if you want us to… or we can all head downstairs or…"

"I love you both very much and I truly appreciate your concern," Lissa interrupted with an entertained grin. "Nolan and I chatted about his arrangement with Clarisse. I understand why he did what he did initially. He and I are fine; we'll work this all out when I am home."

In a fatherly tone, Owen offered, "We're here if you want to talk about it."

"That's really sweet, Dads. Thanks," Lissa offered. She thought _Talking to either or both of you about this debacle wouldn't be fair to Nolan. If I'm going to vent, I have friends I can lean on. But, damn, you two are so adorable._

Both Owen and Amelia regarded their daughter-in-law with distressed expressions. They wanted to believe that Lissa was steady, but years of previous experience had caused them to anticipate the drama that teenaged Lissa would have emoted.

"I'm not in here moping," Lissa added, interrupting her in-law's worried silence. She stepped back to the desk and grabbed a tablet. Holding it up, she showed them the top page, "I've been mapping out some ideas for the dance class I'll be teaching this summer. Have the two of you decided if Livs can come stay with us in June and July? I could sure use help with the dance class and it'd be fun for Nolan and I to have her."

"We haven't decided anything yet," Amelia, distracted, uttered. "She'll be able to visit, we just aren't sure about the full 8 weeks."

Lissa nodded and responded, "I understand." The trio's conversation trailed off and an awkward pause filled the air around them.

"How about if we head downstairs?" Owen suggested.

Lissa grimaced slightly and answered, "I know it's early, but I'm beat. I'm going to read for a bit and then go to sleep. We'll connect tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," Amelia smirked as she hugged Lissa. The stilted conversation confused her – she and Lissa were usually able to connect easily. Tonight, Lissa seemed more like a respectful yet somewhat removed daughter-in-law rather than the daughter she had basically become during her teen years.

Owen leaned in to hug Lissa and whispered, "Good night. Let us know if you need anything."

"Will do," Lissa assured them. Before closing the door, she peeked through a small opening as she watched Owen and Amelia head downstairs. A part of her heart was heavy as she tried to sort out the conversation.

Meanwhile, the Littles were in bed, Olivia was reading in her bedroom, and Ryder was in his room working on homework. The enormous Lake House seemed far too quiet and empty as the couple plopped onto the sofa. Owen commented, "Is it just me or was that interaction… I dunno… different?"

Amelia agreed, sharing, "I sensed it too. She doesn't seem to be pretending to be steady – I really don't think she's terribly upset about Clarisse. But I definitely received the message that she wanted to be alone."

"And how about you?" Owen questioned as he placed his arm around his wife.

"Sometimes I miss our younger family…" Amelia mused as she rested her head on Owen's chest. "I miss having a baby or a toddler around wreaking havoc and driving us crazy. I miss the kids _needing_ us. I miss younger Nolan, his brain and abilities astounding us because they are so far beyond his age. Remember Olivia when we first adopted her? How it would take hours to hear one sentence because of all the repeats and umms?"

Owen chuckled, "I haven't thought of that in a long time." Imitating Olivia, he sputtered, "Umm… Daddy… umm… so… Daddy… well, Daddy, are we… you know… so… umm… can we go to the park?"

Imitating Ryder, Amelia giggled, "Olivia! Just say it! Geeeezzzzz."

"And Nolan would come along with a parental glare or a snap of a finger to shape the two of them up," Owen mused. "He's always been a Dad at heart. I can't wait until he experiences the overwhelming love of holding his own son or daughter."

For a few moments, Amelia and Owen imagined the sight of Nolan swaying with a baby in his arms. Without a doubt, he was a natural at parenting. Lissa would be by his side, seldom having to request his help because he'd be so engaged anyway. Amelia pondered the other kids as parents and offered, "How many grandkids do you think we'll have?"

Owen pushed his closed lips out as he thought, "Nolan and Lissa have always said they want four. I'm sure he's drawn up some master plans to ensure that occurs. Ryder…," Owen chuckled softly, "he'll be an absolutely fantastic wild uncle. Livs? Hmm… do you see her having kids?"

"I'm not sure. She'd be a great mom. I've never really thought about her having kids, though," Amelia shared. "Anna… perhaps she'll become a workaholic. That might be her calling. Ree will definitely be a parent. Lucas? That one's hard to imagine right now, but I bet he'll become a Daddy."

"My guess is," Owen began as he counted on his fingers, "Eight. Four at the Tremblay-Hunts, two each for Victoria and Lucas."

"I think Ria would want a big family. I'm guessing she'd have at least three, maybe five. We could end up with as many as eleven or twelve," Amelia imagined aloud with slight anticipation.

"Can you imagine Christmastime?" Owen laughed with a twinkle in his eyes. "Complete, exquisite chaos."

"Beautiful pandemonium," Amelia echoed. "I can't wait."

Cozy in Owen's arms, Amelia dozed off and dreamed about the future.

 _The dream began in the Lake House Living Room. Lucas and the twins were in their mid-twenties and Olivia was about 30. Ryder, a decorated and unmarried pilot, was in his early 30s and the Tremblay-Hunts were somewhere around 37._

 _Lucas was newly married with a red-headed baby in his arms. His wife leaned on him with adoration as they both focused on the baby of unknown gender. Olivia danced over to the couple to admire her niece or nephew. Her flair and enthusiasm remained a key part of her presence. Ryder, beer in hand, was wowing Ria and Ria's mate with Navy stories. As Ria attempted to focus on her brother, her twin boys, 3 years old, periodically vied for her attention and rubbed her growing baby bump while attempting to talk to the baby._

 _Anna was deeply involved in a conversation about her work, sharing all the latest details with her father and Lissa. Owen, his hair a mixture of white and red, was struck by how much Anna reminded him of Cristina: strongly focused on her work-related goals and dreams, full of fervor and intensity. By her own definition, Anna was successful. Lissa listened in with interest, wondering about Anna's life and noticing how extraordinarily different it was from her own. Noticing her girls, 12 and 14, nibbling on food in the kitchen, Lissa shot her best warning glare their way. Meanwhile, Nolan was wrestling with Ria's twins, and his eight year and five year old daughters._

 _As Amelia dreamed, she saw herself standing back and soaking in the scene with joy. All six kids were home and they filled the house with eight beautiful grandchildren._

In the middle of the serenity, Amelia was startled awake. Owen had attempted to slide his lap out from under her head, but stumbled as he stood. She shook her head to re-enter reality as she heard Owen exclaim under his breath, "Dammit!" He'd tripped on the edge of the coffee table and was on his way toward the floor.

"Owen!" Amelia called out, reaching out to try to stop the fall. She didn't reach him in time.

He winced and attempted to force a smile, "You were dreaming about something happy. You kept cooing and sighing."

"And you tried to sneak away from me," she teased. "Are you hurt?" Amelia inquired as she leaned toward him.

"Banged up," he grimaced with furrowed brows. "I'll be fine. Would you mind grabbing some ice?"

Amelia stood and walked toward the kitchen, sharing her dream as she collected some ice and pulled a dishtowel out of the drawer.

When she returned to Owen, who had positioned himself back onto the sofa and thrown some pillows under his knee, she placed the ice bag on his leg and examined the hand that had helped break his fall. "You poor guy," she empathized as she kissed his palm. "You might want to ice your hand, too."

Owen turned his hand to consider her suggestion. "Nah… that's nothing." A sly smile, the same one he had passed down to Lucas, appeared as he gazed at her.

"You say that now," Amelia mothered. "Wait until you're trying to grasp a 10-blade." She walked back to the kitchen for more ice and brought it to him.

"Mia, I'm fine," he dismissed as she rested his hand on the ice pack.

Leaning down to kiss him, she suggested, "Then humor me."

"Oh, I'll humor you…" he chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her on top of him. As he kissed and tickled her, he slid the ice onto her tummy causing her to react with a small shriek. As he laughed at her response, he pretended to be frustrated, saying, "Shhhh! You'll wake the kids."

The tickling, groping and kissing continued with fits and starts of laughter and yelps. Hands made their way into places usually reserved for the bedroom and Amelia's shirt and bra found their way to the floor. The two were lost in a world all their own.

Sensing they were being watched, Owen opened one eye and glanced to his left. Lucas peered at his parents curiously and inquired, "Hey…what's goin' on guys?"

Amelia fell onto Owen's chest, shielding her bare breasts, and responded as she caught her breath, "We're… wrestling."

"Can I play?!" Lucas begged enthusiastically.

"You," Owen answered as he lightly struck the tip of Lucas' nose with an index finger, "Should be in bed."

"I know, but I woke up from a bad dream and there were monsters and giant trucks with huge wheels and zombies and I didn't want to be alone," he explained.

With as much subtlety as she could muster, Amelia slid her hand out of Owen's pants and prayed that Lucas didn't see. Luckily, at t

he same moment, Barkley and Bogie spotted a squirrel outside Ryder's window and began barking furiously. Lucas' attention shifted toward the ceiling as he wondered, "What's with the doggies?"

Owen grimaced and raised his eyebrows, "No idea. Maybe you should go check."

"Nah, I wanna wrestle," Lucas smiled widely. As if he hadn't noticed prior, he questioned, "Mama, why is your shirt off?"

"Yeah, Mama, why?" Owen prodded playfully.

"Craziest thing, Luke…" Amelia began as she rolled her widened eyes. "Daddy and I were wrestling so much that my shirt slid off."

Lucas' eyebrows dropped with serious concern as he patted Owen's shoulder and advised, "Daddy, when you wrestle with a girl, you gotta be more gentle than when you're wrestling with me. Now Mama's half-nakey, silly."

Looking up and to the side, Owen opened his mouth and gritted his teeth. He nodded and agreed, "You're right, Lucas. Thanks for the reminder."


	24. Chapter 24 - Listen Up, Universe

**Chapter 24 – Listen Up, Universe**

 **An Imperfect Life**

 **Wednesday, May 29**

Between Owen and Ryder, the kids were dressed, fed, and taken to school. Their efforts allowed Amelia and Lissa to have some time together before Lissa returned to Los Angeles. After breakfast with Amelia, Lissa planned to visit Linnea at the hospital and head to the airport from there.

Although Lissa was not a morning person, the lack of conversation between Amelia and Lissa that morning was peculiar. As Lissa slowly munched on cereal and gazed out the large floor-to-ceiling windows, Amelia gazed up periodically from her meal and smirked at her daughter-in-law.

Finally breaking the ice, Amelia quipped, "Is it just me or is this just plain awkward?"

Lissa chuckled, "Awkward? I dunno. I'm feeling pretty comfortable. We're not talking, but, Amma… it's morning."

Staring deeply at Lissa, Amelia shook her head slightly, "Yeah…but we're not connecting. I feel like we're distant. Did I piss you off? Has something changed between us and I'm not seeing it?"

Rolling her eyes playfully and grinning as she stood to pour herself more coffee, Lissa responded, "I think you're imagining it, Amms. You and I – we're all good."

Amelia resumed eating and periodically glancing at Lissa. Unable to hold back, Amelia wiggled in her seat and inquired, "Why haven't we talked since you've been here? _Really talked._ I miss you."

Looking out of the corner of her eye with hesitation, Lissa sputtered, "Umm… I guess because I've been at the hospital most of this visit?" From the bottom of her heart, Lissa couldn't make sense of Amelia's angst. As far as she was concerned, their relationship was on solid ground.

After a few more silent bites, Amelia set her spoon down and sighed audibly. Convinced Lissa was holding back, she repeated, "I truly am sorry about the whole thing with your mom and how I said more than I should have. I really do apologize."

Leaning back in her chair, Lissa softly folded her arms and studied Amelia, insisting, "Amma. We're fine, especially as long as you don't refer to that woman as my mom. I'm not pissed at you about anything to do with her. We're ok. Nolan and I are ok. Life is ok. Everything is ok."

"I miss you, that's all I'm trying to say…" Amelia mumbled with slight embarrassment as she studied her nearly empty plate.

Grasping Amelia's hand, Lissa responded, "I miss you, too. I really do. But please believe me when I tell you that I'm not upset with you. The Clarisse thing – that's between Nolan and I. We need to sort it out ourselves. The longer we're married, the more clearly I see that Nole and I need to work out our problems without involving you and Dads. It's not fair to put either of you in the middle."

"I figured I was shut out because I'd crossed a line somewhere along the way," Amelia admitted.

"We're growing up," Lissa half-smiled. "Life is different now."

"Set aside the Clarisse crap," Amelia declared. "Tell me about _you._ You guys are moving to England, your dear friend nearly died, you're saying goodbye to your USC friends and life. What's on your mind?"

"Wow…when you put it that way, I guess my mind has kind of blocked all the changes out. We have friends, Kip and Jim, who just adopted a baby girl – I hate that I'll be far away from her as she grows. We all went out to dinner a few days after graduation – I held Sarah the whole night. She was my oasis. Everyone I ended up sitting near either had a baby or was expecting one or both. I hated it. I hated listening to pregnancy talk. At the same time, I couldn't soak in enough of Sarah," Lissa grieved. "Nole and I both felt out of place with all of our friends who have or are having kids. We're like these two lonely, lost little puppies who can't find their way home. Sometimes all we think about is having a baby. We're pretty much a downer," Lissa huffed with resignation.

With a giggle, Amelia gently pushed Lissa's upper arm, "Get over yourself, there, Shorty. You are not a downer."

"You don't get to call me, Shorty. You're only an inch taller than me," Lissa laughed.

Throwing her hands up in mock resignation, Amelia admitted, "That's fair." Changing the subject, she inquired, "I had a really great dream last night. Want to hear about it?" Lissa sipped her coffee and shrugged her shoulders, encouraging Amelia to continue. With a precocious grin, Amelia described her dream, "I think it was Christmastime. Whatever time of year it was, all of you kids were back to visit and we were all together. Lucas and his faceless wife had a newborn – with red hair, of course."

"Lucas?!" Lissa giggled. "Awww…"

"Ria was pregnant and had a set of three year old twins. Ryder was pregnant with his own ego and boasting about being a pilot," Amelia quipped. "And you…"

"Oh my, do I want to hear this?" Lissa inquired with slight concern and much curiosity.

"You and Nolan had _four_ girls," Amelia laughed with delight as she clapped her hands together. "It's gonna happen for you two. Dreams do come true, Liss."

Lissa gazed at the table top. Exhaling what seemed like all the air in her lungs, she lamented, "Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth trying. We don't seem to be destined for a family. Maybe teaching will fill that void in my life."

Looking away from Lissa and toward the lake, Amelia seriously questioned, "Do you really believe that?"

"All I know is that miscarriage seems to be my specialty," Lissa observed. "And it sucks. And I don't want to ever have one again."

Slapping her hands on the table, Amelia stated, "Then don't." Amelia stood and raised her voice,  
"Just shake your fist at the universe and scream, 'Miscarriage isn't in the cards anymore, dammit.' Go on… scream it."

With a shy smile and an uncomfortable giggle, Lissa quietly repeated, "Miscarriage isn't in the cards anymore, dammit!"

"Scream it. Yell it from the roof tops!" Amelia encouraged. She pulled Lissa up the stairs and out onto the Master Bedroom balcony, "Scream it! Insist upon it with gusto!"

Lost in a fit of the giggles, Lissa attempted to sputter out her declaration.

Amelia tried to maintain a serious and insistent tone as she hollered, "Shake your fist at the Universe. Scream at the top of your lungs. Bellow from your belly!"

Lissa exchanged glances with Amelia, and Amelia nodded with encouragement. "Listen up!" Lissa began with an empowered roar before falling onto the lounge chair in a fit of laughter. "I can't scream at the sky, Amma," she hooted.

The two wrapped their arms around one another as they laughed heartily. Their laughter slowly ebbed and became less frequent. Amelia kissed Lissa's forehead and whispered, "I love you, Lissy Lou."

Dropping her head onto Amelia's shoulder, Lissa responded likewise, "You mean the world to me, Amma." The two sat in comfortable silence, listening to the gentle wind and imagining four little Tremblay-Hunt daughters.

What were their names?" Lissa questioned after a few minutes. "The daughters. In your dream."

"I'm not sure," Amelia disclosed as her lips joined and jutted outward. "Do you two have any names in reserve?"

"Not really," Lissa responded. "We've discussed names now and then. If we ever have a son, Nolan wants to name him Blake. Most of our girl names are fairly traditional, like Elizabeth. I'm drawing a blank on others that we've considered."

"Amelia is one, I'm sure," she jested. "It's the best name out there."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Prior to catching a cab for the airport, Lissa settled into a chair in Linnea's room and waited for her friend to return from physical therapy. Linnea's stamina and ability to walk had been compromised as a result of the car accident. With no father around, she was determined to be able to make her way down the aisle on July 20th without assistance. Her goal motivated her through every painful moment of rehab.

As he ran down the hallway toward the elevator, Owen spotted Lissa out of the corner of his eye. He turned and ran into the room, "Hey, Liss!" He stopped about four steps into the room and placed his hands on his hips.

"I guess this is goodbye, huh?" Lissa observed as she stood and wandered toward him.

Hugging her, he questioned, "When are you leaving?"

"Flight departs at 2:00, no checked bags. I thought I'd leave here about 12:15," she explained.

Pulling out of the hug naturally, Owen cocked his head and suggested, "Let me take you."

"You were just running somewhere. You're busy, Dads," she pointed out.

He leaned toward her ear and mumbled, "Actually, I pretended to be in a hurry because there was a doctor who was trying to get my attention. I didn't want to deal with his crap. Really… you'd be doing me a favor if you gave me a reason to skip out for a while."

With a knowing smile, Lissa relented, "It's a deal. Meet at your car at 12:15?" Owen nodded and headed out of the room just as Linnea was being wheeled into the room. He celebrated quickly, "You're looking better every day, Kiddo!"

"Thanks, Doc. I walked ten steps today," she shared proudly.

He patted her shoulder and smiled warmly, "Remember… get to twenty and master moving yourself from the bed to the chair, and I'll spring you from this joint."

"I'm working on it," Linnea responded. Unable to lift herself, Linnea trusted the orderly to move her. After he helped her onto the bed and confirmed her needs were met, he nodded at Lissa and excused himself.

Lissa smirked at her friend, wishing for more progress than she saw, "Little by little, huh?"

"I'm beat," Linnea confessed as the smile drained from her face and her body deflated. "This post-car-accident, post-life-saving-surgery recovery stinks, Liss."

Lissa grinned and grasped Linnea's hand, "But you're here. You're alive. You and the love of your life are going to get married really soon. Focus on those parts."

"Yeah," Linnea sighed. She gazed up at her friend and confirmed, "You're leaving today, aren't you?"

"In just a few minutes," Lissa clarified as she looked at the clock. "Dads is giving me a ride to the airport. He said something about wanting to take a break from here, but I think he was making it up."

"He's so nuts about you, Liss. That whole family – they're too good to be true," Linnea smiled.

"Except Ryder," both spurted simultaneously before erupting in a fit of giggles.

"Keep me updated on those steps," Lissa encouraged. "Nolan and I fly in on the 18th. We're all going dancing that night, right?"

"We'll see about that," Linnea shrugged with a chuckle.

"Nolan can't wait to see you guys," Lissa smirked.

"I'm so glad you flew up here." Although she could not pull herself up, she extended her arms and accepted Lissa's embrace.

"Less than two months, Pretty Bride," Lissa emphasized. "It will be an amazing day."


	25. Chapter 25 - Summer's Here

**Chapter 25 – Summer's Here**

 **An Imperfect Life**

 **Wednesday, June 12**

"You have your phone, right?" Owen fretted as his 14 year old daughter rolled her eyes outside airport security.

"Daddy," Olivia exhaled deeply, "I'll. Be. Fine."

Amelia swept a section of Livie's hair behind her ear, "Red, this is a big step. You're flying alone, and we're a little anxious. Humor us, ok?" Meanwhile, Owen looked on with angst as if he were about to run and buy himself a ticket so he could accompany Olivia to LA.

With as much patience as she could muster, which was minimal, Olivia gazed upward and reassured her parents, "Guys… I'll go through security, walk to Gate D-12, get on the plane to LA, fly to LA, follow the signs toward baggage claim and look for Nolan or Lissa just outside security. No. Big. Deal. I can handle it."

Forcing a grin to overpower his overly-fretful frown, Owen caught Amelia's eyes and suggested with a twinkle in his eye, "I think we've just be told off."

"Daddy…" Olivia begged, embarrassed and acting as if everyone in the airport could hear her over-protective father.

"Livie," Owen mimicked before raising his eyebrows and reminding his daughter that he would always be her father. "Listen, kiddo, until you are 40, I have the right to protect my girl and worry about you to an unreasonable degree. It's my job."

Olivia attempted to receive his words with grace and love, although internally she felt nauseous. She wanted to scream that she was competent and fully able to travel solo. At the same time, she knew that any sort of protest or disrespect would drastically change her summer plans in a heartbeat and that she'd find herself at home in her bedroom rather than on her way to Los Angeles. Now was the time to be sweet – to be Daddy's little girl, not Mommy's little monster.

With distress written on her face, Amelia glanced at the clock and declared, "You need to get through security, Livs. Now you have everything? Our note, the medical release for Nolan and Lissa, your plane ticket, your passport?"

"It's all in the front pocket of my backpack, Mom, right where you stashed it," Olivia reassured her. Amelia opened the section and double-checked the documents.

"And you'll call or text when you're at the right gate and when you get on the plane?" Amelia confirmed.

Owen added, "And remember to talk to a flight attendant if you feel uneasy about anyone or anything."

"I know, I know," Livie smirked. "I love you guys," she offered as she wrapped her arms around Amelia and kissed her mom's cheek.

"Be good," Owen urged as he hugged his daughter and resisted the urge to pick her up. "Same rules at Nolan's as at home, right?"

"Love you, Daddy," Olivia whispered as she eased her embrace and ignored his question. She threw on her backpack and began to wheel her bag toward security.

Grasping one another's hands firmly, Owen and Amelia stood still as their not-so-little girl stepped away. Horrified that they remained in place and watched like hawks until she was through the body scanner, Olivia offered a final small wave before turning toward the gates and heading out of sight.

"She'll be fine," Amelia stated plainly without moving.

Owen wrapped his arm around his wife and kissed her temple, "She will." Determined to sound as if he were attending to Amelia's needs, he offered, "Should we grab a bite to eat before heading back to work?"

"There's a place over there where you can see all the planes landing and taking off," Amelia pointed out.

With a small chuckle, he responded, "We could eat lunch and watch Liv's plane take off." Amelia nodded as the two walked hand in hand to the restaurant. Clinging to one another, they found strength in each other's grasp.

After being seated at the window, with a clear view of Livie's gate, Amelia stirred her soda mindlessly. "And tomorrow, we'll do this all over again."

"But it's Ryder. That won't be so tough," Owen reassured her, projecting his own feelings onto the situation. For him, letting go of Olivia was far more painful than seeing Ryder off.

"Exactly," Amelia frowned as she glanced at her husband, "It's my baby bear."

Laughing, Owen rubbed Amelia's hand with his thumb, "I'm sure he'd love to hear you call him that."

She smirked, painfully aware that her babies were growing up. Staring at the table, she shared with distress, "I miss the days of holding their hands and teaching them how to cross the street. I'm not sure I'm ready for them to be crossing the country, and, hell, crossing the ocean to England."

"And yet back then, we couldn't wait for them to become more self-reliant and independent," Owen mused as he gazed at the runway.

"Well, we were wrong," Amelia declared with a playful grin. Owen brought Amelia's hand to his lips and tenderly kissed it.

~~~~~~~~~~~``'

After texting her father that she was at the gate and then texting that she was seated on the plane with a row to herself, Olivia let out a sigh of relief as she turned off her phone. The sheer surge of freedom pulsed through her veins, empowering her to feel mature and grown. She was on her own, completely unsupervised for the flight to Los Angeles. She was tempted to run up and down the aisles of the plane in celebration; however, she was far too mature for such childish behavior.

When her movie concluded on her phone, Livie heard the Captain announce that they were beginning their descent into LA. She raised the window shade and admired the view as they approached the runway. Living with Nolan and Lissa for two months would be wonderful. She anticipated being their equal, not a little girl in need of care. When she returned to Seattle, she anticipated showing her parents how much she'd grown up. Her dream of her upcoming experience in the big city would soon encounter reality. How different the two would be remained to be seen.

The airplane landed smoothly and Olivia dutifully sent a text to Owen to let him know she made it to Los Angeles. A response came within seconds, with hugs and kisses filling the screen. If anyone else had seen it, Olivia would have been horrified. Instead, she slid the phone to her mouth and kissed it as she thought about her daddy and how much she'd miss him. Of course, she'd miss her mom and the Littles as well; however, Daddy was the key person in her life. Even if she felt conflicted at times about being his little girl and even if she had recently begun to test his boundaries, she treasured him deeply.

Predictably, Lissa had arranged to leave work early so that Nolan could stay at his office. While he respected her job, they both knew on some deep, unspoken level that his career always came first. Arranging time off was not convenient for either of them, but both assumed Lissa would be the one to do so.

Walking through the secured area and toward those waiting to greet friends and family, Olivia strode tall and with confidence. She had successfully managed to arrive in Los Angeles on her own. In her own mind, she had successfully conquered a rite of passage.

"Look at you!" Lissa exclaimed as she hugged Olivia. "I swear you're at least three inches taller than a few weeks ago."

"No, I'm not," Olivia groaned as she rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Maybe two, then," Lissa insisted. "I think you've passed me up, Livs."

Olivia raised one eyebrow playfully and simply responded, "Hmm…could be." Lissa had grabbed Livie's backpack and the two were already proceeding toward the car. "What's first on the list?" Olivia inquired.

"I thought we'd head home and drop off your bags. No checked luggage, right?" Lissa confirmed before they stepped outside. Olivia nodded. Lissa continued, "The box Amma sent down arrived yesterday. That was smart – to send something down instead of dealing with baggage."

"It was Miss Lynne's idea. She actually did all the work. I don't know why Mom's name was on it," Olivia declared with the slightest hint of resentment.

Lissa registered the tone, but did not comment. Instead, she continued to answer Olivia's question, "After we stop at the house, I thought we'd take a ride into the city. We can bum around a little until Nolan's finished and then have dinner downtown."

With a shrug, Olivia agreed, "Sounds good."

"The realtor is showing the house this afternoon, so we can't be there. I figured downtown might be a fun adventure."

"Sure," Olivia responded.

"We have a bunch of options. There's a cool market on Olvera Street with lots of little booths. Grand Park is beautiful and has botanical gardens. We could hang out outside. There's also a really sweet bookstore downtown that has tons of new and used books and a bunch of funky art or we could head to the Fashion District – sometimes there are some great deals on clothes and there's also a fashion museum in that area. What sounds good to you?" Lissa inquired after offering various options.

"The Fashion District," Livie responded with excitement.

Once their destination was determined, the two stopped by the house before heading into the city. As Lissa made a quick phone call, Olivia wandered into what had previously been designated and decorated as the nursery. Instead of a crib and changing table, a twin bed and dresser occupied the space. Next to the dresser was an antique rocker that had come from the Tremblay house in Victoria. Olivia sensed that she'd seen it before, but couldn't pinpoint where that might have been. As one would expect, Lissa had fresh flowers and an understated lace doily on the dresser along with a bevy of small picture frames adorning the surface. A picture of Nolan, Ryder, and Olivia's great grandparents hung on the wall next to an intertwined T and H ironwork that Nolan had custom ordered for Lissa at some point in the past.

All signs of the room ever having been intended to be used as a nursery were stripped away. The paint had been changed to a soft taupe and the overhead ceiling fan had been replaced with a simple fixture. A simultaneously eerie and sad feeling enveloped Olivia as she thought about the niece she'd never met and the other niece or nephew nobody discussed. Stepping closer to the dresser, Olivia admired the various pictures. An early picture of Nolan and Lissa at about age 12 sat beside a wedding photo. Near those, a picture of the whole family at Nolan's graduation was encased in a larger frame. With a trembling hand, Olivia picked up a picture of Nolan, Lissa, and Karina that she had never seen. As she studied it, Lissa walked in.

With a reserved smirk, Lissa offered, "You're welcome to take all those down if you want to use the space for your own stuff. Feel free to make this your room."

Unsure how to proceed and uncomfortable holding the frame, Olivia hesitantly put the picture back on the dresser. Apologizing, but not sure why, Olivia offered a soft, "I'm… I'm sorry."

Lissa walked further into the room and put her arm around her sister-in-law. "Sorry about what?" She picked up the picture and smiled, commenting, "This is one of my favorite pictures of all time." Softly, Lissa ran her forefinger over the image of Karina and softly said, "She was so tiny and delicate. So, so beautiful."

"I wish I could have met her," Olivia admitted.

Squeezing Livs in a side hug, Lissa replied, "Me, too, Livs."

~~~~~````'

Before long, the girls had amassed a collection of shopping bags and exhausted themselves in the Fashion District. Lissa had only purchased one item, a dress, because she was keenly aware that she could only move a limited amount to England. Livie, on the other hand, was enthralled with the bargains and beautiful outfits.

As the two sat outside Nolan's office building on the cement lip of a fountain, they sipped on Starbucks drinks and chatted about their afternoon adventures. Wearing well-shined shoes, a dark red tie, a crisp white shirt, and a grey suit, Nolan approached with the beginnings of a 5 o'clock shadow. He signaled to Olivia to stay quiet as he snuck up on Lissa from behind. He wrapped his arms around his wife and smothered her with kisses as she reacted. Her initial shrieks transformed quickly into giggles as she turned toward her husband and returned his sentiments. With admiration and joy, Livie looked on and admired the connection Nolan and Lissa shared.

Nolan stepped away from Lissa after he greeted her and walked over to his sister. Although Owen could not have gotten away with it, Olivia was far from embarrassed about her big brother picking her up and grabbing her in a bear hug in public.

"Holy hell, Red, look at you!" Nolan admired. "You look fantastic."

With her trademark smirk, Olivia sounded confidently, "Thank you."

"Actually," Nolan mused as he stared deeply at his sister, "You look exactly like Mom. It's kind of mind-blowing."

Olivia received Nolan's observation as a huge compliment and questioned enthusiastically, "Really?"

"Absolutely," he confirmed. "After dinner, we'll find some pictures at the house and you can see for yourself. Now what sounds good to eat?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 **Thursday, June 13**

The next morning, back in Seattle, Lucas was emotional and beside himself due to all of the recent changes. School had just ended, his sister was in Los Angeles, and his brother would be even further away all summer. Even worse, he had just learned that Amelia was unable to attend the end-of-the-year soccer dinner.

"But, Mama, I don't want Daddy to take me to the soccer banquet. I want _you,_ " Lucas whined as he followed Amelia. Her arms overflowed with toys, shoes, and random kid items as she tidied up the stairway.

"I know, Monkey. I really wish I could go," she sighed as she grimaced his way.

"How come the surgery can't change to another time?" Lucas complained.

Squatting down and meeting Lucas eye-to-eye, Amelia smirked and explained, "The lady has already waited _three_ days for surgery. I'm sorry her operation is at the same time as the soccer banquet. If you give Daddy a chance, I think you'll have fun with him."

"Daddy's mean," Lucas whined. "And he doesn't like me."

"Lucas," Amelia sighed. "You know that's not true. Why would you say that?" She stood and proceeded into Ria's room to drop off some of the items collected from the stairs. Lucas dragged behind her in misery, determined to convince Amelia to attend the banquet with him.

"Mama…," he offered as he strung out the word over many seconds, "I want _you_ there."

Walking from Ria's room toward Anna's, Amelia responded, "I know. Lucas, listen, you and Daddy will have a great time together. Think about it – you''ll have him all to yourself."

"Noooooo!" he persisted, nearing tears and increasing his volume.

With the worst possible timing, Owen, having overheard the tone of voice but unaware of the conversation, stepped into the hallway as he tied his tie. Snapping his fingers, he firmly instructed, "Mr. Hunt… enough."

"See?!" Lucas melted onto the floor in tears as he grabbed Amelia's pants, "He hates me."

Amelia glanced at Owen with desperation as Owen regarded her with impatience and whispered firmly, "Don't pick him up." Owen's opinion on fits was consistent and clear: ignore the drama and do not respond. Knowing more of the context, Amelia yearned to intervene. Lucas howled and cried desperately as Owen encouraged Amelia to follow him into the bedroom.

Leaving Lucas in the hallway, Amelia whispered an explanation, "O, he's overwrought. The last few days have had so much transition. Added to that, I just told him that I can't attend his soccer dinner tonight and that you're going instead."

"At this rate, he's not going either," Owen shrugged. "This is ridiculous."

"Mom?" Ryder called out over his little brother's screams. "Don't we need to go?"

"Soon," Amelia responded as she checked her watch. Looking at Owen, she added, "He's overwhelmed. This week is taking a toll on him."

"He's out of line," Owen declared as he grimaced.

Amelia returned to the hallway and bent down, "Monkey, let's take some deep breaths and go talk in your room. C'mon, sweetie."

Sniffling and slowing his sobs, Lucas wiped his nose on his shirt and dragged his feet as he followed his mother. His bottom lip stuck out as it quivered. "I wish Livie was here," he sniveled.

Looking at her baby, Amelia frowned, "You miss her?" Grasping his mama, Lucas fell into Amelia's chest and resumed his sobbing. "Oh, monkey, too many changes lately…" she empathized. As she rubbed his back and rested her cheek against his head, Amelia suggested, "Lucas, how about if you hang out in here for a few minutes until we leave?" Sadly nodding his head, he agreed. Amelia handed him a toy and he examined it as he lay on his bed sniffling and sucking his thumb while grasping his Puppy blankie.

Amelia stepped out and headed back to her bedroom. The second she stepped in, Owen stated with disappointment, "Mia, he can't get away with that behavior."

"Owen… he's six. His siblings are leaving for the summer. School just ended. There's no new routine yet. He'll be fine. He's allowed to have an off day," Amelia gently reminded her husband.

"He's almost seven," Owen corrected.

Approaching her husband, Amelia held her arms wide and then wrapped them around him. Sympathetically, she observed, "Tonight is important. If the two of you have fun, he'll be delighted. If you're a big meanie all day, you'll both be miserable. Don't you want to start off the summer with happy memories?"

"If that were my primary goal," Owen flirted, "you and I would steal away to the closet before taking Ry to the airport."

"I love when your mind is in the gutter," she smirked. His hands wandered onto her rear and squeezed as they kissed. With closed eyes and a growing bulge, Owen led his wife toward the wall and leaned her against it. She giggled between kisses as her hand slid on top of his jeans but below his waist. With hums of delight, Owen's noises indicated his joy.

"Oh, for God's sake, you two!" Ryder exclaimed as he invited himself into their room. "Aren't you too old for that? My eyes are burning."

"Then don't watch," Owen chuckled as he remained against his wife but pulled his lips from hers.

"You two are beyond gross," Ryder grumbled.

"What did you need, Ry?" Amelia inquired as she slid out from under Owen's embrace.

"I need your advice. Can you come see what I have packed and tell me if I have the right amount of casual and formal and shorts and slacks and all that?" he requested.

"Sure," Owen responded as he stepped toward the door.

"Umm… thanks… Dad," Ryder uttered. "Actually, I was asking Mom."

"Oh, of course," Owen forced a smirk, feeling like his sons didn't seem to have much use for him. He extended his arm, inviting Amelia to follow Ryder.

As Amelia exited the room, Owen's phone vibrated. He checked it to see a text from Nolan, that read, _Hey, does she have a bedtime?_

Knowing Nolan was referring to Olivia, Owen responded, _Needs about 9 hrs a night. Is she giving you trouble?_

 _She's fine. Last night was special – first night here, etc. Just wanted to get the routine established if there was one,_ Nolan explained. _You good?_

 _Taking Ry to the airport soon, Lucas is emotional, twins at dance camp, I'm off today,_ Owen shared. Nolan could hear the groaning as he read Owen's words.

 _Give Ry my best,_ Nolan asked. _Love you, Dad._

Owen smiled as he was reminded that even his ultra-responsible, wise eldest needed him sometimes.

Amelia returned to the bedroom, wiping tears from her eyes. Owen's shoulders sagged in sympathy as he cocked his head and caught her eye, "You ok?"

"It's just hard to see him leave," Amelia confessed. "I guess this summer is good practice for next year when he enlists."

Owen pursed his lips and hugged his wife. He kissed the top of her head and assured her, "That's a year away, Mia. Let's get through today."

She gazed up at him and nodded slightly, "Yeah… let's get him loaded up."


	26. Chapter 26 - Now What?

**Chapter 26 – Now What?**

 **An Imperfect Life**

 **Thursday, June 13**

"Dr. Hunt, the school principal has called three times this morning," Patricia pointed out as Owen returned from the ER and headed to his office. The morning had been non-stop. As Chief, he had gone from a breakfast meeting to a trauma to a nurses' meeting and back to the ER. Owen needed a break and even ten minutes hidden away in his office would suffice.

"Did she say why?" Owen inquired curiously as he squeezed the back of his neck with his hand.

"No, she did mention that she is in and out of meetings all day," Patricia shared. "I think she was hoping to avoid phone tag."

Owen exhaled as he ran his hand over his face, "I'll give her a try."

Once in his office, Owen leaned back in his chair, rested his feet on the desk, and called the school. The principal's secretary seemed relieved to hear Owen's voice and urged him to hold while she located her boss. After a minute or two on hold, Ms. Tottingham came on the line.

"Dr. Hunt, I'm thrilled we have connected with one another," she began.

"Ms. Tottingham, what can I do for you?" Owen inquired, hoping to keep the conversation brief.

Beginning with small talk, she questioned, "Did Ryder make his way back east safely?"

"Yes, thank you for asking. He left for the Naval Academy yesterday," Owen explained.

"You and Dr. Shepherd must be so proud. To be chosen for their summer program is a true honor," Ms. Tottingham commented.

"Yes, we're definitely proud of him. I apologize, my time is limited this morning," Owen pressed as politely as possible.

"Of course. Mine too," Miss Tottingham echoed. "Dr. Hunt, I had hoped to invite you and your wife to meet with me in person before the end of the school year. I'd like to discuss Annabelle if you have a few minutes."

"Sure," Owen stated plainly as he gazed toward the ceiling. Annabelle had been struggling and not making much progress over the past few months. Her behavior and attitude were constant struggles at home, and Owen braced himself as he anticipated hearing that the same had been true at school.

"As you know, Dr. Hunt, the school psychologist and counselor have attempted to supplement Annabelle's private therapy. The three caregivers have been in constant contact and have been a source of great support to Annabelle's teacher this spring." The principal paused before adding, "However, Annabelle's grades have continued to slip and her behavior and intervention needs have become more than we are able to accommodate at St. Frances."

As the words soaked in, Owen sought to confirm, "Help me understand. Is Annabelle being expelled?"

"That's a word I prefer not to use, Dr. Hunt," Ms. Tottingham explained. "Students are expelled for inappropriate actions or choices. This is a case involving Annabelle's emotional and academic abilities. Certainly, she has done nothing intentional to warrant my call."

Owen felt like a patient who had just heard a load of medical jargon and needed an explanation in English. He paused to process what he had just heard before observing, "Annabelle needs to change schools?"

"I have some recommendations for private schools equipped to better handle behavioral challenges, and you have the option of public school as well. Under the law, they are required to provide a fair and appropriate education for all students," Ms. Tottingham shared.

"Yeah…" Owen stuttered as distraction filled his mind. Amelia knocked softly and proceeded into the office, immediately furrowing her brow in response to Owen's expression. He continued, "Ms. Tottingham, perhaps meeting in person would be helpful. Can I review my schedule, check my wife's schedule and have Patricia call you to schedule a meeting?"

"Of course, Dr. Hunt," Ms. Tottingham oozed. "I do hope this challenge won't impact the enrollment of your other children."

"Me too," Owen muttered. "Thank you for your call, Ms. Tottingham. We will be in touch soon."

"What was that all about?" Amelia asked casually as she slipped an orange section in her mouth and offered one to her husband.

He waved his hand, not wanting the orange, and shook his head slowly. "St. Frances is kicking Anna out."

"Huh?" Amelia questioned with a huff. With a feisty tone, Amelia added, "They can kiss my…"

Owen interrupted with a faraway stare, "No…it's not like that. Ms. T stated that Anna's challenges are more than they can accommodate."

"What challenges?" Amelia argued with disbelief. "Those people are so… snobby."

Owen smirked and held out his hand for part of the orange. After sitting on top of his desk, Amelia leaned over and put a section in his mouth before setting half the orange in front of him. "Mia, it's not about money or prestige. I think they are under the impression that Anna's challenges are pretty significant."

"What a load of crap," Amelia protested. "I mean, c'mon, the kid is being treated for PTSD, of course everyone involved needs to step up their game a little."

"I dunno," Owen sighed. "Can you let Patricia know your availability so we can get a meeting scheduled with the school?"

"Sure," she agreed as she popped another orange section in her mouth and mentioned, "You know, there's all sorts of viral crud going around. Keep up on the Vitamin C." A small amount of juice ended up on Amelia's chin as she spoke.

Wiping off her face a tissue, Owen suggested with a wink, "Perhaps you'll digest more of that juicy orange if you swallow it before speaking."

"Am I in trouble?" she flirted with a mischievous grin.

"Do you want to be?" he kidded.

"Eighth floor on call room?" she offered just before her pager sounded, causing her to respond, "Dammit!"

Owen's pager sounded also and he called out, "Yep, me too. Let's go, Beautiful." The two jumped up and hustled out of the office and rushed to the ER.

Rushing into Trauma One, Owen and Amelia simultaneously hollered, "What have we got?"

A resident was furiously performing CPR on a tiny baby. Her intern responded to the question, "Unconscious infant. Three months old. Mom and Dad are in the waiting room."

As she flashed a pen light in the baby's eyes, Amelia asked, "How long has she been down?"

"About ten minutes. Parents live across the street. Brought her right in when they discovered her," the out of breath resident explained as she continued compressions.

"Hold up, hold up," Owen advised. "When we work with kids, it's easy to get tense and skip steps. Listen to her chest."

The resident stopped compressions and listened for a heartbeat. "I hear something. It's faint, but it's there.

"Let's get monitors on her chest," Owen called out as the baby coughed and wailed.

"Hey, baby girl," Amelia oozed with relief. "Shh, shh, shh, you're ok. We've got you, sweetheart." Rubbing the baby's head softly, Amelia locked her eyes on the infant.

"What's up?" Karev barked as he entered the room.

Owen called out bullets as Karev shooed the resident and intern to the side. He listened to the baby's heart and glanced up at Amelia. "How's her neuro?"

"Fine. Wouldn't hurt to snap a CT, just to be sure," Amelia suggested. "Any hunches?"

"Shaken baby… suffocation… too early to tell. Looks sketchy. Check out her neck," Alex pointed out.

Owen leaned down, "Is that bruising? It's faint."

"I'm seeing faded bruises and fresh red marks. Where are the parents?" Alex fumed as he tightened his jaw.

"Let me handle that," Owen insisted. He turned to the nurse and instructed, "Call Seattle PD and Child Services – tell them to come in through the Main Lobby so the parents don't see them." The nurse nodded and hurried to the phone. Taking a deep breath and putting on his game face, Owen centered himself before speaking to the parents.

Alex growled, "I want to see the son of a bitch that hurt this baby."

"Alex," Amelia drawled slowly. "Stay focused. We need your eyes on the patient."

"Let's get her up for a full body CT, UA, and full x-rays. I'm looking for signs of previous abuse as well as current challenges," Alex snapped. He turned to the resident and barked, "Do _not_ leave her side, you hear me?"

"Yes, Sir," the resident nodded as she wheeled the baby toward the elevator.

"There's no need to be an ass to the resident. She saved the baby's life, Alex," Amelia pointed out once everyone else had left the room.

"Go to hell," he grumbled as he snapped off his gloves.

Blocking his exit, Amelia stood firm at the door and roared, "Dr. Karev, I know you are a talented doctor and surgeon, but your abilities do not give you the right to snap at me or at a resident. Am I clear?"

"Who the hell do you think you are? Get out of my way," Karev groaned as he rolled his eyes.

"I'm not done, Doctor," Amelia snapped.

Owen walked back into the Trauma room and inquired with confusion, "What's going on?"

"The Misses is feeling feisty, Chief," Karev cracked before scooting around the couple.

"What's that about?" Owen asked Amelia as he shook his head.

"He snapped at the resident, snapped at me. I told him he was out of line," Amelia explained.

"Oh, Mia…" Owen moaned with resignation.

Amelia put her hands on her hips and scoffed, "Are you serious? He was out of line. Why do you let him get away with that behavior?"

"Mia…" Owen warned gently. "There's a time and place for this. Not. Now."

"Yes, now," she retorted with frustration.

Pursing his lips and raising his eyebrows slightly, Owen stated in a matter-of-fact tone, "Thank you, Dr. Shepherd."

"Owen!" Amelia protested, growing increasingly frustrated that Owen was not taking her seriously.

"Thank you. That will be all," he nodded before turning toward the gurney and beginning to enter notes into his iPad.

As she ripped off her trauma gown, Amelia mumbled under her breath, "Son of a bitch."

She firmly pushed open the door as Owen hollered, "Excuse me, doctor?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~'`

Amelia made her way to CT and found the resident and intern in the booth, "How's she look?"

"The images are about to come up, Dr. Shepherd," the resident reported. "The x-rays seemed to indicate a previously broken ulna, but Dr. Karev needs to confirm."

"She's not even old enough for a fracture to have fully healed," Amelia shared with sadness as she studied the scans that were beginning to appear. "She has a bleed. See it?" Amelia quizzed.

"Here?" the resident guessed, not certain.

"Yeah. See how it's foggy? Let's get an MRI stat and transport her to an OR. Make sure we have a portable ultrasound in the OR. This little girl needs surgery. I'll go scrub," Amelia declared. She turned to the intern and instructed, "Let's get Dr. Robbins down here."

"You mean Dr. Karev?" the intern questioned.

"No. If I'm going in, I want Robbins there," Amelia insisted.

Arizona, unaware that Amelia had basically chosen to kick Karev off the case, joined Amelia and the resident in the OR. Forty five minutes into surgery, as Amelia worked on the bleed, Owen held a mask over his mouth as he burst into the room.

"Dr. Shepherd," he snapped, "where might I find Dr. Karev?"

Without looking up at him, Amelia shrugged, "Geez, Chief, I'm not his keeper - although someone should be."

"You're out of line, doctor," Owen growled.

"What's going on?" Arizona inquired as she sutured.

"Nothing," Amelia huffed.

Owen cleared his throat. He called to the resident, "Come with me, please."

Feeling caught in the middle, the resident glanced at Amelia for permission. Amelia nodded and the resident stepped away from the field.

"Amelia…" Arizona inquired again. "What are you up to?"

"I'm saving this baby's life," Amelia informed her friend. "I wanted the best beside me. I requested you."

"After Karev was already on the case?" Arizona inquired.

Shrugging, Amelia clarified, "I never assigned him to the case."

"Amelia, I don't appreciate being put in the middle of all this," Arizona sighed.

With a smirk, Amelia raised a shoulder and quipped, "Sorry. My bad."

As she closed and scrubbed out, Amelia shared the broader story with Arizona and apologized. "I couldn't share a surgery with him after the way he acted," she reasoned.

"He can be an ass, but he's a damn fine surgeon," Arizona detailed. "If you weren't married to the Chief, I'd advise you to get ready to clear out your locker."

"Oh, c'mon," Amelia huffed with a chuckle. "What I did doesn't reach that level."

Arizona offered a half-smirk and widened her eyes, "Maybe not, but I don't think I'd want to piss the Chief off by kicking another attending off a case that really belonged in the other guy's department."

"When you put it that way…" Amelia grumbled to herself. She stepped out of the OR area and headed to recovery to check on the baby. By the time she arrived there, the baby had already been transferred to the NICU.

She entered the NICU and spotted Alex listening to the baby's heart. He glared at her as she approached.

"How's she doing?" Amelia questioned.

"Stable," Alex stated flatly. "Here's the latest," he offered as he handed her his notes.

"Looks great," Amelia nodded as she reviewed the vitals. "We're holding off on feedings?"

"For a few hours. She has an NG tube," Alex explained.

"Where are the parents?" Amelia asked.

"In custody," he grumbled. "How could someone do this?"

"I have no idea," Amelia responded as she shook her head. "Absolutely no idea."

"Dr. Shepherd?" the nurse beckoned.

"Yes?" Amelia answered.

"The Chief is requesting you meet him in his office. Shall I tell him you're on your way?" the nurse asked.

"Sure," Amelia grimaced. She looked at Karev and offered, "Thanks for looking after her."

"I'm good at my job, you know," he emphasized.

"I do know," Amelia confirmed before leaving the NICU. "I also know there's no excuse for being an ass."

"Point taken," Karev nodded. For him, the words were a generous apology.

Amelia made her way to Owen's office and, unlike most doctors, let herself in.

"Mia…" Owen stewed as he paced. "You can't put me in these positions."

"Karev was out of line, Owen. He was emotional and intense. If he'd been in the OR, he wouldn't have been focused. I made a decision based on what was best for the patient," she reasoned.

" _His_ patient. _His_ department's patient," Owen pointed out.

" _This_ hospital's patient," Amelia insisted. "That baby had been through enough. I didn't need a distracted, angry, simmering surgeon in there when I was trying to stitch together tiny veins nearly as small as the suture material. I needed Robbins."

"You don't get to make those decisions, Mia," Owen insisted.

"I should have wasted valuable time locating you while the patient was rushed to the OR?" she protested. "That's unrealistic, Owen, and you know it." Amelia's pager sounded, beckoning her to the NICU. She read the message and told her husband, "NICU. Is it ok if I leave detention to treat my patient? Oh, I'm sorry, Karev's patient?"

Owen tightened his jaw and glared at her. "I'll follow," he informed her.

After a hurried but silent walk, the two entered the NICU. Karev was holding the baby and trying to comfort her. He reported, "Her leg is twitching. I'm not sure what to make of it."

Amelia approached the duo and caressed the baby's cheek as she tried to quiet the cries. After a brief neuro check, she told him, "It's not a seizure. She could be having trouble coming out of anesthesia. Let's drip Zofran through her IV just in case." Looking at the nurse, Amelia added, "Make sure it's administered slowly."

As the nurse scrambled to provide the meds, Karev provided further updates to the neurosurgeon. Owen observed the physicians' interactions. "Is all smoothed out between the two of you?" he asked. Both surgeons exhaled audibly and rolled their eyes without speaking.

Ignoring their reactions, Owen inquired, "Who's with the patient overnight?"

"I am," the duo sounded simultaneously. They each glanced at the other with poker faces.

Owen chuckled lightly and scrawled a quick note. He folded it and handed it to Karev before grinning, "I'll let the two of you sort that out."

"I've got her, Alex, really," Amelia insisted as she held the baby, rested her cheek on the baby's head, and swayed from side to side.

Shrugging, Alex stepped away and read Owen's note, _Our girls have a dance recital tonight – she's pissing on your territory._ Alex grinned and decided to have a little fun at Amelia's expense.

"You know, Shepherd…" Alex began as he gathered his keys and prepared to leave. "I'm going to surprise Jo. Thanks for staying with the baby."

Rather than heading home, Alex stopped by Owen's office and filled him in. Owen grinned and sent Amelia a text, _We'll leave here at 6:30? Lynne's taking girls to recital and we'll meet there._

The two men cackled like 7th grade boys, awaiting her response and reveling in their trick.


	27. Chapter 27 - What if?

**Chapter 27 – What if…?**

 **An Imperfect Life**

 **Saturday, June 15** **th** **\- Monday, June 17** **th**

Since the baby was admitted on the 13th, Amelia had visited the NICU at least twice a day. Even though the neurosurgeon was not scheduled to work over the weekend, she made a point of popping over to the hospital to check on the baby, named Molly, and observe her progress.

When she wasn't at the hospital, Amelia enjoyed a wonderful weekend with the Littles and Owen. With Ryder away at the Academy and Olivia staying in LA with the Tremblay-Hunts, the family had shrunk to half its size. The average age of those present plummeted, which led to different activities and fewer eye rolls.

After breakfast on Saturday morning, the family ran as fast as possible as they raced over to the treehouse. Anna and Lucas were neck-in-neck throughout the race and both claimed to have won. After realizing that Anna was on the verge of melting down, Owen declared that Anna and Lucas had tied for first place. Ria had made a valiant attempt and ran with gusto not far behind her siblings. Her consistent progress and abilities filled her parents with joy; all of the years of therapy and commitment to various interventions were evidenced in Ria's everyday life. A serene yet determined girl, Ria never let her disability stop her.

An all-family clean-up effort commenced and the treehouse was soon in tip top shape. As they munched on a snack, the family played a guessing game.

"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100," Owen declared. As always, his number was 51.

"Fifty-one," Lucas sighed in boredom.

Owen celebrated and overreacted, pretending to be shocked by the immediate guess. "Lucas! You must be psychic! You are amazing. How would you even think to start at the exact number I had just chosen?" The kids groaned as their daddy repeated his silly routine.

"Ok…ok," Lucas announced as he waved his hands in front of his body. "My turn. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100."

"Ninety," Anna guessed.

"Nope," Lucas shook his head.

"Higher or lower, dummy? You're supposed to say if the guess was higher or lower than the number you chose," Anna balked.

"Lower… duh, Anna," Lucas retorted. Rather than bark words of warning, Owen cleared his throat. Both kids glanced his way with slightly guilty stares.

"Forty," Ria and her perky voice ventured, hoping to distract everyone from the Anna-Lucas drama.

"Higher," Lucas shared.

"Sixty," Amelia suggested.

"Lower," Lucas smiled.

"Hmm…" Owen began. He chose his standard number just to get a reaction from the kids. "Fifty one."

"Daddy!" the twins cried out in unison as Owen winked back.

"Higher," Lucas declared as he pounded his fist into the air. "Wait, no! Lower. Lower."

"Lower?" Owen attempted to confirm.

"Yeah, lower," Lucas nodded before adding haltingly, "I think so." He nibbled on the end of his index finger.

"Did you forget how to count?" Anna sighed with frustration.

"No," Lucas snapped back as he stood and placed his hands on his hips.

"Lucas, your number is between forty one and fifty, right?" Amelia hoped to clarify.

"Nope," he beamed as if he'd managed to stump everyone.

"But you said it was higher than forty and lower than fifty one," Victoria pointed out.

"I did?" he inquired with confusion. Everyone nodded their heads. Knowing that all eyes were on him, Lucas stepped over to Amelia. He leaned against her as he whispered in her ear, "I forgot my number."

"Lucas!" Anna ranted as she overheard her brother's disclosure. "Daddy, my head is going to explode because of him."

Owen leaned over, gently tickling Anna before quickly assessing if she would respond with anger or laughter to his attempt at distraction. She giggled as she tried to return the tickles with her little roving fingers.

Victoria jumped on Owen's back, playfully threatening, "Watch out, Daddy! I'm protecting my twin."

Without hesitation, Lucas joined into the pile before the four formed an alliance and all went after Amelia. They caused her to laugh so hard that she could barely talk. With each kid tending a limb and Owen grabbing the last arm as he teased by biting onto her shirt, Amelia enjoyed in the family time even though she wished the non-stop tickling would end.

Early the next morning, Amelia slid out of the house to head to the hospital while the family slept. Her hope was to run over to the hospital, check on Molly, and return before anyone at home awoke. When she arrived at the NICU, she pulled a chair next to Molly's crib and dreamily admired her tiny presence. Whispering reassuring words in a loving tone, Amelia stroked Molly's hair. After reaching for an iPad, Amelia reviewed the overnight chart notes as she rubbed the little girl's arm.

Quietly from behind, Alex approached and softly observed, "She's doing well. Better than I anticipated by this point."

Amelia twisted her neck and looked at Alex, "Have you been here all night?"

"Nah," he admitted. "I snuck out of the loft about an hour ago and came over." Glancing at the clock, he thought aloud, "I should probably head back if I don't want Jo to find out I came by again."

"Again?" Amelia questioned. "You too, huh? I was here twice yesterday."

"Me too," Alex chuckled with a sly grin. "There's just something about this one…"

"She's precious," Amelia cooed as she returned her gaze to the baby. Without looking back at her colleague, she inquired, "Any word on the parents or other family?"

"The parents are both in custody. No other family," Karev reported. "CPS is looking for a foster family that can handle her medical needs. Hopefully they'll locate one before Molly's ready to be released."

"Well, they have some time. She's not out of the woods yet," Amelia pointed out. "We'll need to keep her here at least two or three more days."

"Agreed," Alex nodded as he studied Molly and soaked in her presence. A minute later, Alex inquired, "What do you think about pulling the oxygen? I'm not sure she still needs it."

"You get home before you're missed. I'll page a respiratory therapist for a consult," Amelia offered. "I'm fairly sure we can discontinue it."

Alex leaned down close to the baby, revealing his softer side. He quietly shared with Molly, "Do you hear that, little girl? We want to see you filling up those lungs of yours without help." As if on cue, Molly inhaled deeply and sighed peacefully as she exhaled. She reached up and attempted to grasp Alex's face. "That's the way," Alex encouraged as Amelia observed. Seeing his gentler side caused Amelia to grin and to consider that maybe Alex was a pretty good guy after all.

The respiratory therapist visited shortly after Amelia paged her and concurred that removing Molly's oxygen was worth a try. She planned to observe the baby over a few hours to assess the change, knowing the oxygen could always be administered again if necessary.

Amelia gently wrapped the baby in her arms and swayed to imaginary music as Molly leaned her head against Amelia's shoulder and smiled. After changing her diaper, Amelia stepped into a side room usually reserved for visiting parents. Believing she was the only adult in the area, she spoke softly to Molly and sang to her as Molly's large brown eyes studied Amelia. After soaking in Molly's presence and coos, Amelia slowly placed the sleeping baby back in the crib. Molly woke up immediately and reached for the comforting arms that had held her. Her lips and chin quivered as she begged to be held.

"You're not going to let me go, huh?" Amelia teased her gently as she gave in. Amelia's hips swayed as she patted Molly's back and resumed singing.

Owen, who'd left the littles in daycare after being called in due to another physician's absence, stood at the doorway of the NICU and grinned. He hadn't bothered to try to call Amelia because he was nearly certain of her location. Tears formed in his eyes as he watched his wife sink into serenity and focus on Molly.

Walking over slowly, Owen placed his hand on Amelia's shoulder as he observed, "Some serious neuro post-op needs, hmm?"

Amelia gazed over her shoulder and offered a bittersweet smile, "This little girl captivates me, Owen. She's precious."

"Do you hear that?" Owen responded in baby talk as he stroked Molly's head, "Dr. Shepherd is pining for a baby." Molly smiled widely as Owen continued, "Yes, she is. Now you've done it, Miss Molly. You've transformed a star neurosurgeon into a mushy Mama." He leaned over and kissed Molly's forehead and the baby responded by turning and reaching toward him.

As Amelia handed him the baby, she giggled, "Now she's going to work her magic on you."

Owen held the baby and handed her the end of the stethoscope that hung around his neck. Attempting to make Molly laugh, he made silly faces and goofy noises. Simultaneously, he shifted partially into doctor mode and began asking Amelia questions about Molly's status.

In a baby-talk voice, he inquired, "And how's Miss Molly doing? Post-op exams ok?" Molly reached for his mouth and tried to grab his lips as Amelia reported good news and a promising prognosis.

Stretching to reach Owen's cheek, Molly planted a wet, sloppy baby kiss on her doctor before trying to nibble along his jawline. Owen and Amelia giggled as he questioned the baby, "Maybe you're ready to try a bottle, huh? The Chief is the best baby feeder ever. Yes, he is. Should we fill that tummy?" He rubbed the tip of his nose atop Molly's head as he walked back into the main NICU area and asked a nurse to prepare a bottle.

"Dr. Karev hasn't ordered bottle feeding yet, Dr. Hunt," the nurse clarified.

"Jane," Owen grinned knowingly, "I'm a doctor and I've raised six kids. Molly's ready to transition off tube feeding."

"As long as you'll sign the order, Sir," the nurse explained. "I don't want to be in hot water with Dr. Karev."

"I've got your back, Jane," Owen assured the nurse. "Write up the order and I'll sign off."

Within minutes, Owen signed the order and held a freshly prepared bottle. He settled into a rocker and fed the little girl as Amelia leaned on the nearby wall and commented, "I miss this…the quiet moments of becoming mesmerized by a tiny, smiling baby."

Owen glanced up at his wife as Molly eagerly drank, "Me too." He returned his focus to the baby and his eyes softened. Amelia was right – Molly was able to work magic.

"Let's foster her," Amelia suggested after working up her courage.

"Mia…" Owen began without moving his gaze.

"What? We are highly qualified to care for her. CPS is hoping to find a medical foster family, and I'll bet those are hard to find. It'll be good for the Littles," she offered as she pulled out any reason possible.

"Who's getting up with her in the middle of the night? What if we both have big surgeries on the same day and she's sick? Besides, having a recovering three month old baby around will limit our freedom to explore Seattle with the other kids," Owen pointed out in a measured tone.

"Owen Hunt, since when did having a baby around slow us down?" Amelia pushed with a grin.

"Mia," Owen pursed his lips before turning them into a smile, "I honestly don't see how we could swing it. The older kids aren't here to help, and Annabelle might go ballistic with the competition for attention. Besides, we might want to consult Lynne before throwing another child into the mix."

"I'll talk to her," Amelia shrugged as she lowered her chin and displayed a tiny pout. Kneeling down in front of the rocker and offering a finger for Molly to grasp, Amelia continued, "She needs us, Owen."

"I'll think about it," he promised as he stood and pressed Molly's tummy against his chest. Resting her chin on his shoulder, Owen patted her tiny back. His movements were unconscious, the evidence of a practiced father.

'''''''''''''''~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a strange but wonderful weekend at home with the Littles, Owen and Amelia made their way to the hospital on Monday morning. They were discussing the half-filled house as they stepped into the main lobby. Amelia hesitated to bring up the possible foster situation, wanting to give Owen time to percolate.

"In a way, I felt like we stepped back in time. Not having older kids around was… I dunno… it made me remember the early days when we first adopted the kids," Owen mused.

"Did you notice that our weekend was more peaceful?" Amelia pondered.

"And quieter," Owen affirmed. "Well, maybe not actually quieter, but there was less chaos. I feel like we only listened to one or two radio stations at a time instead of four or five."

Joining her husband in his laughter, Amelia grinned and nodded, "You couldn't be more correct."

As they stood outside the elevators, Owen mentioned, "I'm going to check in on Linnea. Want to join me?"

"I'd love that," Amelia smirked as the couple stepped onto the elevator.

Once in the room, Owen reviewed Linnea's chart and commented, "You're really doing well."

"I feel like I have a little more energy," Linnea commented. "I'm adding a step or two every day."

"At that rate, you'll be ready to dance at your wedding," Amelia beamed.

Owen sat on the edge of the bed and explained, "Here's what I'm thinking. Rather than send you home right away, I'd like to admit you to a rehab facility for a week or so. They'll work on physical therapy and be available 24/7 for support. I'd like to see you become a bit more self-reliant before we move you home."

Linnea's shoulders sagged and her body seemed to shrink. Softly she uttered, "Okay."

Throwing Owen a look, Amelia encouraged him to say more.

"It's not what you wanted to hear," he observed compassionately as his patient shook her head and focused on the floor. Continuing, he explained, "I know of some stellar facilities with young populations – we won't send you to some place with a bunch of grandmas recovering from broken hips. I promise."

"What if Chris found 24/7 nursing care? Someone who could take care of me at home?" Linnea pleaded.

Shaking his head slowly and grimacing, Owen further detailed, "I want you to receive PT 2-3 times a day and I don't want you loading in and out of a car multiple times per day to go to PT. Besides, the facility I have in mind can also help you learn how to function with your limitations."

"Am I always going to have issues walking or moving?" Linnea asked with fear.

Pressing his lips together, Owen patted Linnea's hand. He suggested, "Let's take this one step at a time. It's too early to tell what might linger on and for how long." He paused to allow time for the news to sink in before adding, "I do think it is completely reasonable to plan on walking down the aisle next month."

"Thanks, Dr. Hunt," Linnea sighed. She was overwhelmed with the morning's news.

Amelia patted Linnea's shoulder and advised, "Get some rest and I'll come check on you this afternoon."

Once they were out in the hallway, Owen reached for Amelia's hand and grasped it tightly. While he would often offer a quick kiss in the more public areas of the hospital, he seldom walked hand in hand with Amelia.

"What's wrong?" Amelia whispered as she moved her eyes upward.

Shaking his head slightly, Owen shared, "The PT report shows some regression. There's a concern about muscle tone and stamina."

"Like you said, 'One step at a time,' right?" Amelia reminded him.

With lowered eyebrows and a serious expression, Owen nodded without offering a verbal response.


	28. Chapter 28 - Letters Home

**Chapter 28 – Letters Home**

 **An Imperfect Life**

 **Monday, July 1** **st**

 _ **Two Weeks After Chapter 27**_

In the early hours while everyone but Molly slept, Amelia yawned as she shuffled down the stairs holding the baby. Desperately in need of coffee, Amelia's eyelids closed involuntarily for brief moments as Molly babbled and made the baby sign for 'drink.'

"Drink. I know, I know, Sweetcakes," Amelia reassured the precious baby. "Let's get breakfast going."

When they reached the counter, Amelia began mixing formula. Molly inhaled and exhaled eagerly as she reached for the bottle. Before sitting down with the baby, Amelia pawed through the previous day's mail and beamed when she spotted letters from Ryder and Olivia.

Resisting the urge to call up to Owen, she ripped open Ryder's letter and carried both letters to the couch. As Molly ate, Amelia read.

 _26 June_

 _Dear Mom,_

 _This old school communication is FUBB. No phones, no emails, no TV. Hell, no electronics at all. Well…we have lights, but they turn those off too early. Is this what it was like back in the day? Ha ha. Maybe not back in your childhood, but maybe Dad's childhood, right?_

 _In previous summers, the experience here was like camp. There was a schedule but everything was pretty chill. This year, anyone who's interested in attending the Academy after high school is in a separate unit. I think they're trying to scare some of the applicants off. The leaders try lots of mind trips and power plays. Honestly, I have to stop from laughing or smirking – most of their tactics have nothing on Major Hunt (ok…just kidding). But, really, as long as you don't take the whole thing too seriously, it's no prob._

 _They keep our time pretty regulated. We're up for a run at 5:30am. You can imagine how much I like that. It sucks. The run is fine, but the time is unacceptable. From there, we shower and shave then head to breakfast. If I detailed the entire day, it'd put you to sleep. I'll spare you the details because I love you so much._

 _Livs sent me a letter from LA. Sounds like she's having a blast with Lissa this summer. They're teaching dance classes part of the day and loving it. Livie sounds so happy that I'm worried she's about to pee her tutu. After their dance stuff, she helps Lissa out with the academic portion of the day. I hope, for Lissa's sake, that Olivia is actually helping and not being an extra. Nolan scrawled his name and 'Hey, bro' at the bottom of Liv's letter. She mentioned she hardly sees him – I guess he's almost always at the office where he's interning._

 _How are the Monsters? Anna doing any better with her ups and downs? Make sure and squeeze Ree in a big bear hug from me. How about Curly – are you harassing him adequately in my absence? Is he feeding and brushing my dogs? I'm guessing that if I ask about you and Dad, you'll write back that you're both working a ton. I hope you're getting some time to chill. You guys work too hard._

 _I'm heading up in a glider later this week. Should be fun. Have to pass a test first, but no worries there._

 _Oh…and I met a girl. Actually, there are probably 5 or so in my squadron and I've met them all. One of them, though, has become my wingman (or wingwoman, I guess). Seriously. Now, stop it, Mom, I can imagine you scoffing in disgusted disbelief at the implausible idea that I have a friend who is a girl that I'm not trying to make into a girlfriend. Her name's Julie. Crazy part? She lives in Seattle too. (Pretty great alliteration, too, huh?)_

 _Give Dad a fist bump for me and ask him how much he's missing his yard boy._

 _Love you and miss you, Mama Bear,_

 _Ry_

Ryder wrote how he spoke. Reading his letter made Amelia feel as if he were sitting next to her, telling her funny stories, and making her laugh. When Molly was down for a nap, Amelia planned to write back.

Hopping like a bunny down the stairs, Lucas made his way toward his mama. "Good morning, Mama!" he announced with glee speaking the words one by one with each jump.

"Shhh, everyone else is sleeping, Mr. Man," Amelia informed her son.

Lucas reached the bottom stair and ran at full speed toward his mom and Molly. When he reached the sofa, he climbed over the back and flopped onto the seat, hoping to garner a laugh from the baby. As she obliged, formula ran out the corners of her mouth. She discovered that laughing and eating at the same time didn't work so well, and she began to cough.

Gently, Amelia wiped Molly's face off and held her up to clear out the cough. Once able to breathe normally, Molly was too enthralled with Lucas to care about the rest of her bottle. She pushed it away and leaned toward him. As she reached out, he put his face close to hers and she grabbed his ear.

"Morning, baby," Lucas cooed as she smiled at him. He waved his hands and face around before falling backward with a loud fart noise. Molly responded as Lucas hoped, laughing heartily. "Can I feed her the rest, Mama?" Lucas begged.

"Yes, but you can't make her laugh while she's eating," Amelia warned gently. Stretching his legs out in front of his body, Lucas snuggled into the cushions with anticipation. Amelia situated Molly into Lucas' arms and slipped a pillow under his elbow for support. Handing him the bottle, Amelia grinned with pleasure as she witnessed her son attentively caring for the baby.

"I'm a super good big brother, Mama," Lucas declared with pride.

Feeling her stomach tighten, Amelia reminded him, "She's only staying with us for a while, Lukie. Remember?"

"I'm pretending that she's my all-the-way sister as long as she lives here," he stated plainly.

Amelia smirked before changing the subject and revealing, "I have a letter from Olivia. Shall I read it to you?" Lucas nodded happily.

 _June 27_

 _Dear Mom and Daddy,_

 _Nolan had to use the computer all night so he said I should write you a letter instead. Hopefully, he will remember to send this to you._

 _Every day, I go with Lissa to the school where she works. We teach dance in the morning and it is sooooo fantastic and wonderful and amazing. I love it so much. Sometimes, we make our classes into two groups, and Lissa lets me teach a group by myself! After lunch, I'm a helper in Lissa's classroom. I correct the little kids' papers and work with kids who need extra help._

 _Nolan works long days during the week and almost always works all day on Saturday. He leaves before I wake up and comes home around 8:00. Lissa usually waits and eats dinner with him. Sometimes I do too, but other times, I eat earlier so they can have time alone with each other. Besides, I babysit a lot for Nolan and Lissa's friends who have little kids._

 _On Saturdays, Lissa and I sleep in late and most of the day is pretty lazy. Sometimes we go grocery shopping or run errands, but sometimes Lissa does that alone. The other day, I got to go to Disneyland and help some of Nolan and Lissa's friends with their kids. That was the coolest babysitting ever._

 _On Sundays, Nolan is home and makes a big breakfast for everyone. After that, we usually go somewhere fun like the Observatory or a market or a movie. Sunday nights are their date nights, so I stay at the house and read or watch TV. I like how quiet it is here, but I also miss Lucas and the twins._

 _Ryder sent me a letter and said he has a friend named Julie. She's a girl but only a friend. I'm not sure I believe him. He has to wake up super early – when I wake up in the middle of the night, I look at the clock, add three hours, and try to figure out if he's already awake. Then I go back to sleep!_

 _I am having a really fun summer, but I miss you tons and tons and tons. I love you bunches and bunches, too._

 _Love, flowers, smiley faces, and glitter,_

 _Olivia_

With a slight pout, Lucas inquired, "How come Livie gets to babysit at Disneyland?"

"Maybe someday, you will too," Amelia offered.

"When she comes home, is she gonna babysit Molly?" he wondered aloud. "Cause I know Molly better."

Popping her finger on Lucas' nose, Amelia reminded him, "And you're much younger. Maybe you can help Olivia babysit. We'll have to wait and see."

Owen came lumbering down the stairs and yawned as he greeted, "Good morning!"

"Daddy, Livie got to babysit at Disneyland," Lucas announced.

Raising his eyebrows, Owen responded with surprise, "Wow. By herself?"

"No," Amelia assured her concerned husband, "she went with some of Nole's friends and helped them with their kids."

"Oh," Owen nodded as he relaxed into a smile. He carried his cup of coffee over to the couch and leaned down to greet Molly and Lucas before wrapping his arm around Amelia. He pecked his wife on the cheek and whispered good morning to her. His eyes met hers for an extended moment as the two smirked at one another and then admired Lucas and the baby interacting.

A few minutes later, Molly finished her bottle. "Daddy, Molly's done eating. Can you make her burp?" Lucas requested. Far too often, Molly had spit up on him. He wanted to avoid a repeat.

Owen stepped over and picked up Molly. She babbled and kicked her legs in joy as he placed her against his chest and began patting her back. As he strode around the room, he noticed the letters and questioned, "Are those from the kids?"

"Yeah," Amelia smiled. "Nolan made Livie write a letter because he needed the computer. Ryder's letter is… well, very Ryder." She handed him the letters, which he set down as he danced around the room and quietly sung his own ballad version of _Miss Molly Had a Dolly_ to the baby:

 _Miss Molly had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick._ _ **  
**_ _So she called for the doctor to come quick, quick, quick._ _ **  
**_ _The doctor came with his bag and his hat,_ _ **  
**_ _And he knocked on the door with a rat-a-tat-tat._

 _He looked at the dolly and he shook his head._ _ **  
**_ _And he said, "Miss Molly, put her straight to bed."_ _ **  
**_ _He wrote on the paper for a pill, pill, pill._ _ **  
**_ _"I'll be back in the morning with the bill, bill, bill."_

"Daddy? Did you sing to me when I was a little baby?" Lucas inquired.

"You bet I did," Owen grinned as he continued turning and swaying with Molly.

"Did you sing that Molly song?" Lucas asked honestly.

Chuckling, Owen shook his head as he searched his memory. "No. Let's see…" Continuing, he began singing Put It There by Paul McCartney.

"Hey, I remember that one!" Lucas celebrated.

Pausing momentarily, Owen lowered his chin and leaned his face toward Lucas. "Sing it with me," he invited.

Lucas joined in on the chorus a beat behind Owen as the two sang:

 _Put it there if it weighs a ton,_ _  
_ _That's what the father said to his younger son._ _  
_ _I don't care if it weighs a ton,_ _  
_ _As long as you and I are here, put it there._ _  
_ _Long as you and I are here, put it there._

Mid-singing, Owen strolled to Amelia and handed her Molly then picked up Lucas as they finished the chorus. Lucas begged to repeat it and Owen obliged, advising, "Join in on the parts you remember." Admiring his father's face up close, Lucas rested the top of his head on Owen's shoulder.

When the boys finished their song, Owen motioned for Amelia to join them. Carrying Molly, she stepped over and wrapped her free arm around Owen.

"What did you sing to me, Mama?" Lucas asked, knowing each of her songs by heart because she still sung to him at bedtime.

She sang the opening line to Randy Newman's _Feels Like Home, "Somethin' in your eyes makes me wanna lose myself…"_ Owen and Lucas joined in as Molly sang her own baby version as part of the chorus. Together, the four danced slowly as the adults drank in a moment of bliss.


	29. Chapter 29 - Responses

**Chapter 29**

 **An Imperfect Life - Responses**

 **Thursday, July 4** **th**

On Monday, shortly after Amelia had read Olivia's letter, she had found time to call her daughter and catch up on the latest news. The two giggled and chatted for a few minutes before inviting Lissa to join them in the conversation. Together, the three enjoyed thirty minutes of conversation. Shortly after Amelia explained the foster situation with Molly, the baby awoke from a nap and called out for company. After insisting that Amelia text pictures of the baby, the girls told her goodbye.

Now able to revel in the quiet of the morning while Owen fed Molly and tended to breakfast, Amelia propped up her pillows and sat up in bed. She couldn't remember the last time she actually wrote a letter, but she soon remembered how much she enjoyed doing so. During the first few weeks, Ryder had called and letters weren't necessary. For some unknown reason, the calls stopped and the letters started. Amelia hesitated to ask why, guessing Ryder had been caught with his pants down. Truly caught with his pants down. She reasoned that sometimes it was better to not know his actions and experiences.

 _July 4_ _th_ _. Happy Birthday to Lucas._

 _Dear Ryder,_

 _I can't begin to tell you how much I've missed you. We are having a fun summer with the Littles, but our family feels incomplete without you, Nolan, Lissa, and Olivia. Of course, your absence tipped the scales – we were fine with the others being absent. Ha ha._

 _You were right – Dad and I have been working hard. We've tried to scale back our hours so we can spend more time together as a family. June was a snap – our residents and interns were nearing the end of the year. Once the new interns arrived on July 1_ _st_ _, Dad's been busy assessing their abilities, observing their readiness and assigning them to specialties. Dr. Webber requested to take a sabbatical this summer and will return on September 1_ _st_ _. Until then, Dad has the extra workload related to residency. I think he enjoys it and didn't realize how much he missed that job. The down side is that he's seldom home._

 _At least I see him at the hospital, right? Every now and then, we end up operating together. Even though we both try to run the surgery, I still enjoy working with him. He's usually working on someone's guts while I work on the patient's brain, so Dad is just out of range for me to shove, poke, or otherwise harass. Damn, that's frustrating. Ha ha._

 _Not long ago, Dad and I were called down to a trauma in the ER. When we entered the room, my resident and her intern were working on a tiny baby. Sadly, the little girl was banged up. Karev noticed evidence of mistreatment and a CT showed a brain bleed. Before I knew it, I was repairing the teeny, tiny vessels that had come close to rupturing._

 _The baby, Molly, pulled through the surgery with flying colors. Her resilience amazed us all, and I'll admit that I had to create reasons to go check on the brown eyed beauty. Although I never caught them in the act, Dad and Dr. Karev did likewise._

 _Long story short, Molly needed medically-trained foster parents. Since that's a rarity, I finally wore Dad down and convinced him to agree to foster Molly. She's fit right into the chaos at the Lake House. Even after just a few weeks, it seems difficult to remember life without her._

 _Remember how low key and easy going Lucas was when he was a baby? Molly has him beat. Her smile graces her face regularly and her eyes sparkle with wonder as she gazes at her surroundings and at whoever is with her. She cries just enough for us to be sure that she's developing and healing well and babbles nearly non-stop in an attempt to be part of the conversation._

 _Lucas reminds me of how you were with the twins – he's constantly trying to coax Molly to laugh. His work is easier than yours was – she falls for his antics, silly faces, and boy noises without fail. Every single day, Lucas points out how much he likes being a big brother. I try reminding him that she's not staying with us forever. He shrugs and states with confidence, "We'll see."_

 _The twins are hot and cold about Molly. When Anna is in a solid space, she watches Molly from a distance and occasionally interacts with her. She reminds me of people who are awkward around babies and seem not to know what to do. If she's in a funk, Anna ignores the baby completely. I guess that's better than having her complain about the baby._

 _Ria has been having mood swings the past couple weeks. Most of the time, she's her sweet self and adores Molly. Out of the blue, she becomes hormonal, snappy, crabby and easily annoyed. Dad's in denial and convinced she's coming down with a virus. He keeps checking her temp and her tonsils, which only aggravates her further. Having lived through this with Livs, I'm convinced it's not a virus. Brace yourself – our sweet 9 year old seems to be entering puberty little by little. Sigh…_

 _The Littles constantly bring up how much they miss you. The dogs miss you too – some days, they'll mope at the end of the driveway and wait for the gate to open. When it does, their heads pop up with anticipation. When they notice you're not the one coming through the gate, they plop their heads on the cement and whine. The other night, I opened your bedroom door to put some stray laundry away. Both dogs came bounding toward me and rushed into the room looking for you. When they discovered you weren't there, Bogey grabbed one of your t-shirts in his mouth and nosed it. It's his woobie now and he takes it everywhere. Barkley snuggles him all the time – I think she's trying to comfort him._

 _Believe it or not, Barkley and Bogey are now tended by Annabelle. She volunteered to help Lucas one evening and has taken over all the dog-related tasks. They're pretty spoiled by her – she brushes them non-stop and plays fetch with them every day. Dad found her snuggled in their garage bed with them the other night. She was sharing the weight of the world that she'd been holding inside – just like you used to do. Dad and I both became a little teary as we recalled the memories of our little Ryder and his best friends._

 _If you noted the date of the letter, you may be wondering why I'm not frantically preparing for our annual 4_ _th_ _of July bash. This year, at Luke's insistence, we postponed the party. He wanted the whole family here for his birthday. We figured that we'd combine his birthday with a going away party for Lissa and Nolan in late August. Our 4_ _th_ _of July event is such a given for so many of our friends that Dad and I sent out cards announcing the new date. As I gaze out the window, I'm relieved by the date change – the rain is pouring down in buckets. I can't imagine having to move the party inside. Instead of entertaining today, we're going to let the Littles have a PJ day and watch movies. Life has been so busy that a truly low-key day will be sublime._

 _I want to hear about the glider experience. Any other flying stories? And what's up with this 'friend' that you mentioned? Ryder Blake, are you feeling ok? You don't seem to be yourself. A friend that's a girl? Yeah…none of us are fully convinced, pal._

 _Dad's footsteps are in the hall. If I'm lucky, that means he's bringing me breakfast in bed. I'll sign off for now and wait to hear back from you._

 _With all the love in the world,_

 _Mama Bear_

Owen pushed open the bedroom door by leaning his back against it. As he entered the room, he turned and revealed a tray full of goodies. "Ria made the eggs and Lucas made the toast. I handled the sausage and hash browns. Anna supervised and Molly slept," he detailed.

"Thank you, Owen," Amelia spouted with a smile. "You are fantastic."

He kissed her as he set the tray down on the nightstand and wrapped his arms around her. Dying to return to bed and make love, he lost himself in their kisses. Within moments, he was on top of her. The blankets and his clothes served as temporary barriers that he hoped would soon disappear. As Amelia's hands unbuttoned his jeans, he offered a sultry smile and ripped off his shirt.

" _This,_ " Amelia purred, _"_ is my kind of breakfast in bed."

Mixing a chuckle with a groan, Owen hummed as he kicked off his jeans and caressed Amelia's breast. Just as he turned onto his back but before his naked butt slipped under the comforter, the couple heard a small voice.

"Umm…" Ria announced with the baby in her arms, "Molly's stinky." Upon hearing her name, Molly babbled with joy. "And, Daddy, why are you nakey and why is your wiener sticking up?"

"How about if you take Molly to the nursery and one of us will be right there to change her," Owen suggested as he grabbed the corner of the comforter and threw it over himself. Ria backed out of the room and Owen slowly closed his eyes and shook his head. He grumbled sarcastically, "That was great."

Amelia tried to sympathize, but couldn't contain her laughter. She moved her eyes toward Owen's hips and assured him, "You know, Daddy, I am A…OK… with your big wiener and nakey ass."

"Very funny," Owen huffed as he crawled under the blankets. "Can you change Molly? I'm not sure I can ever look Victoria in the eye again." He covered his face with his hands as he exhaled slowly.

"Owen…" Amelia teased as she brushed her fingers against his cheek. "It happens to most parents." Owen rolled his eyes as he threw a pillow over his reddened face. "Besides, Handsome," she continued as she slipped into a robe, "it'll give her something to talk about in therapy someday."

As Amelia left the room, Owen threw a pillow at her. When it hit her, she glanced over her shoulder and winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Although the day was supposed to be free from stress and responsibility, Amelia found herself at the hospital that afternoon. Derek was operating on a passenger who had been ejected from a vehicle in a drunk driving incident, and Nelson was performing surgery on an older gentleman who had been rushed in with a blown aneurysm. Although Nelson was concerned that the man would not survive surgery, there was enough hope to proceed with intervention.

Amelia frowned at Owen as she ended the call and stated, "Hospital."

"I figured," Owen nodded as he held Molly in one arm and fed her with the other. "You're third up – what could be that critical?"

Grabbing her hair and exhaling loudly, Amelia gathered her keys and purse as she shared, "Kid dove into the lake and encountered a rock."

"Paralyzed," Owen commented with a grim tone.

Amelia leaned over to her husband with a sigh, "Hopefully not, but probably so." She pecked Owen on the cheek and kissed Molly's head, "You'll let the Littles know? I gotta run – I'm hoping to beat the ambulance there."

"Yeah," he promised slowly. "Go… but drive carefully." Molly watched Amelia head for the door and began to cry. Her sadness increased as she heard the garage door.

"Right," Amelia called out, having heard his instructions before the garage door closed. She backed out of the garage quickly and drove away.

"Oh, Molly," Owen comforted as he patted Molly's back, "She'll be home later." He walked to the play room and let the kids know that Amelia had to rush to work and that he was going upstairs to rock the baby. Mesmerized by the movie, they all muttered, "Uh huh" without eye contact or emotion. Singing Billy Joel's _Goodnight My Angel_ , Owen slowly made his way upstairs as Molly howled in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'`

Once Molly calmed down and began to doze, Owen placed her in the crib. Letting her sleep this late in the afternoon would mean that she wouldn't go to bed as scheduled. Just the same, he was relieved to have a few moments of peace and quiet. He tiptoed out of the room and headed to the Master Bedroom.

Changing his shirt for the third time that day, Owen threw on a scrub top that had made its way home accidentally. When he turned back toward the door, he spotted the breakfast tray and went to collect it. On the floor under the tray, he discovered Amelia's letter to Ryder. Without reading it, he folded it and put it in his scrub top pocket.

After carrying the tray to the kitchen and cleaning it, Owen checked on the Littles and proceeded to his home office. He turned on the baby monitor so he could hear Molly and slipped a piece of paper out of the printer.

 _4 July_

 _Ryder – I just discovered Mom's letter to you and thought I'd add my own note. Sounds like the summer is keeping you busy and engaged – it's almost like a pre-boot camp. Just wait for that…argh._

 _I didn't have a chance to read your letter nor Mom's response, but Mom tells me you have made some friends. One's a girl, huh? Really? Fess up, Ry – you can admit it to your old man. Is she a friend who just hasn't become a girlfriend_ _yet_ _? I didn't realize the summer was co-ed – I'm sure you were probably aware of that before you signed up. Ha._

 _How much free time do you have? Have you been off campus? Explored the area at all?_

 _We had hoped to be Seattle tourists this summer and have seen some of the sights. Half the time, either Mom or I get called in. We've talked about trying to scale back, but it's difficult to find a way to be part-time at the hospital. The other day, we took the kids to the Space Needle. I think Anna was more excited that we let her have a Coke at the restaurant than she was about the view. Lucas kept your mom on her toes – she was uneasy having him running around up high. Before long, he was in trouble and required to hold her hand constantly. Ria didn't like being off the ground. In the end, Molly and I were the only ones who enjoyed ourselves. Oh…Molly – she's a baby we're fostering. Mom operated on her and fell in love. I have to admit Molly's captivating. I'm nuts about her too._

 _Did Mom tell you I hired a lawn service? How much does that get you going? I couldn't keep up with it myself and the kids are only so much help at their ages. Once you're home, I'll stop the service (just kidding)._

 _I've been thinking about your car. Did you decide if you want to replace the Mustang? You're still home for another year, but the car won't go to the Academy with you after that. They have regulations on that for first year students, right? I had an idea the other day – maybe you could drive Nolan's Jeep or Lissa's car. They're planning to leave them here. Why they don't sell them, I'm not sure. As long as we're storing them, we might as well drive them. Think about it - we can figure that out when you return._

 _The dogs are great. Bogey isn't interested in running with me anymore. I think he's developing some arthritis in his hip. As long as he doesn't overdo it, he manages well. Barks still runs with me most mornings. She's such a wonderful companion. They miss you. Anna's been spoiling them with loads of attention, but they know you're not around. Bogey drags one of your shirts around like a baby blanket. He's grieving his boy._

 _I'm coordinating the intern/resident transitions this year, which I am enjoying. Some days, I wish that was the extent of my responsibilities. Being Chief is usually great, but sometimes it wears me down._

 _There's the news I have to share. Look forward to hearing from you soon._

 _Love, Dad_


	30. Chapter 30 - Hairline Fractures

**Chapter 30**

 **An Imperfect Life – Hairline fractures**

 **Thursday, July 4** **th**

"Bullets?" Amelia called out as she burst through the door and threw on a trauma gown.

"18 year old male, dove into Lake Washington, head hit a rock. Breathing on his own, BP 120/82. Suspected injury at C5 or 6," the resident, Tyler Rhodes, reported.

"Suspected?" Amelia responded with a hint of confused frustration.

"The patient arrived just moments before you did, Doctor," the resident explained.

"Let's get an immediate x-ray that I can study while the patient has a CT," Amelia ordered as she began a neuro exam. "Hi there," she greeted the fully awake and overwhelmed patient.

"How bad is it?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet. Follow my finger," she instructed. "What's your name?"

"Andrew. Andrew Palma, ma'am. Drew," the teenager reported.

"Drew, Dr. Rhodes and I are going to do everything we can to help you out," Amelia promised as she pointed a light into his eyes. "It's going to be a long day of tests and procedures. Is there someone we can call? Parents? Siblings?" Amelia stepped back as the x-ray tech covered her with a lead vest and snapped an x-ray.

"My mom, probably," Drew responded. "She's gonna be pissed. This… I messed up big time."

"Drew," Amelia insisted, "I'm a mom of more kids than I can count. I promise you that she'll be relieved you're here and alive. Are you having any trouble breathing?" As she spoke, she circled his body and measured his reflexes and muscle tone.

"It's kinda hard to breathe deep," Drew reported.

"Do you smoke? Anything? Cigarettes? Weed?" Amelia inquired with a caring expression, hoping the teenager would trust her with potentially risky information.

"I get high now and then. Not a lot," Drew admitted.

"Anything today?" Amelia questioned as she ran a tool along Drew's foot.

"No, ma'am," Drew responded.

"Beer? Shots? Prescribed Meds?" Amelia continued.

"No. We were hanging at the lake in the rain. That's it," Drew answered.

Amelia nodded, "We'll leave you in the collar for now, Drew. Dr. Rhodes is going to take you up for a CT while I study your x-rays. We'll call your mom. It's important you let someone know if your breathing worsens or if you begin to feel any pain or temperature changes." She turned to a medical assistant and mumbled her request, "Let's get a tox screen and Mom's name and number. Have Rhodes call and get Mom here a-sap. Let me know once you have a chart set up for him." Calling out a final order, Amelia added, "Rhodes, let get him started on methylprednisolone and watch his temp."

As Rhodes nodded and wheeled Drew toward the hallway, Amelia reached into her pocket and began recording basic chart notes. A text from Owen came through as she spoke into her phone. _Missing you already. ETA?_ Smiling, she resumed the sentence she'd been dictating and then snapped her Bluetooth onto her ear.

Owen and Lucas answered the home phone simultaneously. Owen let out a brief hello while Lucas answered in his most mature voice, "Hunt Residence."

"Hello, Dr. and Mr. Hunt," Amelia smiled in response as she studied the x-rays the medical assistant delivered.

"Mama!" Lucas exclaimed with joy. "Are you gonna be home for dinner?"

The pleading and hope in his voice caused Amelia's heart to sink. "I'm afraid not, monkey," she confessed. "But the whole time I'll be wishing I was there. I need to speak with Daddy, ok?"

"Muah, muah, muah," Lucas responded before hanging up the phone. "I love you, Mommy."

"What's the latest?" Owen inquired.

Focusing on Drew's x-rays, Amelia replied, "The kid's lucky – high level of neurological function, no obvious breaks or issues above C5. I'm curious about possible sacral damage – mixed sensory response in his feet. He's in CT now. I need to monitor swelling and pressure in the spinal column and check for clots and bleeds. I may be awhile."

"Can someone else assume the case? When will Derek and Nelson be out of surgery?" he pushed.

Although Owen couldn't see her, Amelia shook her head slowly, "I want to stay with this kid."

With an unintentionally audible sigh, Owen exhaled and slowly stated, "Okay…"

"What's wrong?" Amelia inquired, sensing his subtle disappointment.

"It's Luke's birthday, Mia. He wants his favorite person in the world here," Owen reasoned.

Amelia paused before responding. She was hard enough on herself without Owen pointing out how her career and motherhood sometimes collided. After a slow swallow, she uttered quietly, "I… I know."

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to guilt you," he explained, regretting his recent words. "I'll figure out something special. He won't even realize who's here and who's not."

"Hmmm…," Derek mumbled from behind, his scrub cap still in place atop his head. "Look at that," he pointed out as he ran his finger along part of the x-ray.

"O, I gotta go," Amelia explained as she leaned closer to the film. "I'll call you back."

"Love you, Mia," he shared gently. She ended the call before hearing his words.

Turning to catch Derek's eye, Amelia inquired nonchalantly, "What do you see?"

"What do _you_ see?" he asked, prodding to discover if she noticed the hairline break in the sacrum.

Frustrated with the sense of being pulled in multiple directions and frustrated with her brother, Amelia quipped, "I'm not your resident, Derek. Do you want the case or do you want to quiz me?"

Derek rubbed his hands together, raised his eyebrows in anticipation, and smiled widely, "Seriously. You're willing to give this up?" The idea of working on this unique situation energized him instantly.

"It's Luke's birthday," Amelia responded flatly.

"So I'd be doing you a favor?" Derek smirked proudly, seeking credit for his skills and willingness.

Lowering her shoulders, Amelia cocked her head slightly and grinned, "Or I'm sharing a great case with you and doing _you_ the favor."

"Ah," Derek commentated, still smirking. "Go home, Amy. I've got this."

"Call me if you need extra hands," she instructed. "Patient's name is Drew. Mom should be on her way. I was thinking about monitoring him before opening him up. Rhodes is watching his temp and I already ordered methylprednisolone."

"I'm thinking therapeutic hypothermia might be the next step," Derek pondered aloud as he grasped his chin.

Amelia nodded and patted Derek's shoulder. "Good idea. I can buy into that."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Derek jested as his sister left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Amelia headed toward the Attendings' Lounge and relaxed on the sofa before changing into street clothes. Taking in the relative silence, calm, and solitude, she envisioned the kids playing with Owen. She imagined them wrestling on the floor or heading to the treehouse to play tag. Her mind wondered: _Is Molly's coat in the car I brought to the hospital? Did Ria and Anna take their meds this morning? I'll bet it's not raining and gray in LA and North Carolina. Man… I miss the big kids._

Pulling her out of her rambling thoughts, Amelia's cell phone sounded. Seeing the caller ID that read _Social Worker,_ she answered the phone with lowered brows of confusion.

"Dr. Shepherd, I realize it's a holiday. Do you have a moment?" the woman inquired.

"Absolutely," Amelia responded steadily.

"Molly's father was killed in an altercation at the jail this morning and her mother has requested permission to relinquish her parental rights," the stunned social worker explained. "She is also pregnant and wants the new baby to be adopted by the same family."

"Umm… ok," Amelia answered, unsure what to say.

"Babies tend to be adopted quickly. I'm calling on a holiday so you and your husband have additional time to consider your next steps."

"Next steps?" Amelia uttered with confusion.

"The State will prioritize your request for adoption over anyone else since you've been Molly's foster parents," she explained.

Never having discussed the possibility of adopting Molly with Owen, Amelia had no idea what to make of the unexpected news. "I'll speak with Dr. Hunt tonight."

"Wonderful," the social worker celebrated, "I'll be in touch on Monday morning."

Amelia ended the call and shook her head as she blew out a breath of air. _Not one, but two babies? Holy hell._

Methodically, Amelia proceeded to change her clothes as she allowed the news to settle. Once dressed, she stared out the window and leaned on the windowsill. Lowering her head, her nose and forehead encountered the cold, wet window. _Shattered. That's how I feel. Shattered, broken, fragmented._


	31. Chapter 31 - Shattered

**Chapter 31**

 **An Imperfect Life - Shattered**

 **Thursday, July 4** **th**

Meanwhile, at the Lake House, Owen repeated his warning to the Littles, "Guys, settle down. No running inside." Anna ducked behind the couch, assuming that Owen wouldn't know she was part of the hijinks if she hid. Leaning against a chair and catching her breath, Ria stopped and looked toward her dad sadly.

"But, Dad," Lucas whined as he pointed toward the rain outside. "We're bored and there's nothing to do."

"Really? Nothing?" Owen tested.

Catching his veiled warning, Ria interrupted, "We'll find something to do, Daddy."

"Luke said there's nothing to do," Owen teased.

"There isn't! It's boring here. We should go somewhere and do something," Lucas suggested with emphasis.

"I can think of all sorts of activities," Owen began as he folded his arms. "You could clean your room or sweep the garage floor or organize the front closet."

"None of that is fun, Dad," Lucas argued. "And it's all super boring."

Molly began to stir and she let out a calm cry to let Owen know she was awake. Before heading to Molly, Owen warned, "Well…no more running. Remember you're inside." Normally, he would have been more upset with Lucas and would have responded to the growing attitude. Since it was Lucas' birthday and since Molly was awake, Owen moved away from the potential situation and tried to forget about it.

When Molly saw Owen, she kicked her legs happily and reached out for him. "Hey, baby girl," Owen cooed as he picked up the little one.

As he set her on the changing table, Ria appeared and inquired, "Can I help?"

"How about if you play with her while I change her?" Owen offered. As Ria shook a rattle and hopped a stuffed bunny across Molly's tummy, Owen removed the old diaper and searched the area for a fresh one. Not finding one, he asked Ria, "Can you stay with her while I grab a diaper?" She eagerly nodded her head and smiled, proud to be entrusted with Molly's safety.

Dragging his feet and sighing hopelessly, Lucas came in and moaned, "What are you doing?"

"Watching the baby," Ria boasted.

Lucas leaned up to Molly and tickled her under the chin before looking further down her body, "How come girls don't have a penis?"

"I dunno," Ria shrugged. "We're made different." After a brief pause, she asked her little brother, "Why do boy's thingies get bigger sometimes?"

"They just do," he reasoned.

"Does yours do it?" she wondered aloud.

"Yeah, mine grows," he insisted proudly. "Nolan's and Ryder's grow too and they're super big when they do. I think it grows more the older you get." Narrowing his eyes and folding his arms as if she were asking about top secret information, Lucas wondered, "Why do you want to know?"

Whispering, Ria disclosed, "This morning I went into Mommy and Daddy's room and he was nakey and his was like that."

"They were just wrestling," Lucas explained as he rolled his eyes. "When we're not around, sometimes they wrestle and pretend to attack each other. One night, I went downstairs and they said they were wrestling."

"Nuh uh," Anna, having appeared in the doorway, disagreed. After looking down the hall both ways, she whispered, "They were probably going to do sex."

"Sex is just kissing and snuggling," Ria retorted as she made a funny face and caused Molly to laugh.

"Is not," Anna argued. As she explained the mechanics of sex, as Olivia had explained to her, Ria's and Lucas' mouths dropped open in shock.

"You're making that up," Lucas challenged.

"Who's making what up?" Owen asked as he entered the room with a handful of diapers.

"Nothing!" Lucas responded quickly and suspiciously.

Looking down at his son as he slipped the diaper under Molly, Owen raised his eyebrows.

"Let's go back downstairs," Anna suggested, hoping to extricate the trio from what she was sure was a conversation they did not want to share with Owen.

The other two followed Anna down the hall, and all three began running when they reached the stairs. Overhearing the stomping, Owen called out and reminded them to calm down. Giggling and ignoring him, the three jumped on and off the living room furniture and threw a ball back and forth.

Upstairs, Owen finished changing Molly and smiled, "What were those three up to, Miss Molly? They're silly, aren't they? They're goofy kids." Molly's eyes honed in on Owen's face as she babbled back in baby talk. He grabbed a stray baby blanket and carried it to his bathroom with Molly in his arms. After spreading the blanket out on the floor of his bedroom and setting Molly on it, he proceeded to the bathroom and began to wash his hands. The Littles sounded like they'd become a bit rambunctious and he sighed knowing he would need to deal with the situation.

As the water ran over his soapy hands, Owen simultaneously felt and heard a large boom followed by the sound of cascading broken glass. He quickly turned off the water and grabbed a towel, noticing Molly's widened eyes as she gazed around the room. He scooped her into his arms and headed down the open portion of the hallway that overlooked the living room.

"Oh, crap," Owen mumbled to himself as he soaked in the sight of the large broken window and the rain pouring inside. Bellowing, he ordered, "Annabelle Grace, Victoria Rose, and Lucas Owen! Do. Not. Move. There's glass everywhere." All three children looked like deer caught in the headlights. They were shocked by what had occurred and terrified about being caught.

Owen hurried down the stairs and immediately took stock of shattered glass strewn around the living room, an empty window frame, and three deeply guilty children with pursed lips. "What the hell?" he sputtered as his hand grabbed the hair on his head. Bending down, Owen questioned harshly, "Lucas Owen, what happened?"

"I dunno," he lied as he raised his arms to each side and lifted his shoulders. "All of the sudden there was glass everywhere."

"Mmm hmm," Owen grumbled as he shifted his focus to Ria. Seldom in trouble, Ria was the most likely to spew the details.

"Victoria?" Owen firmly pressed.

Sinking into herself and wrapping her arms around her torso, Ria glanced up at Owen and then down at the floor. Tears began to well up in her eyes as Anna's eyes wandered around the room attempting to come up with a plan.

"Victoria Rose, I'm speaking to you. What happened down here?" Owen stated with warning and barely controlled frustration. Molly snuggled her face into Owen's shoulder as the wind carried mist rain onto her face and tiny body. Kissing Molly's forehead, Owen stepped back while locking his eyes on Victoria.

Slowly, Ria's eyes moved upward toward her father, "It was an accident, Daddy. Really."

"I'm sure it was, Victoria," Owen affirmed. He walked toward the kitchen and set Molly in her bouncy seat. He then proceeded toward the closest Little, Anna. As he picked her up, he insisted that Ria continue.

She responded tentatively, watching Owen carry Anna over to a kitchen barstool. "Nobody meant for it to happen, Daddy, we were just playing. We can help clean it all up," Ria offered.

"The three of you are not picking up broken glass, young lady," Owen responded as he headed toward her to remove her from the sea of broken glass surrounding her. "I know you were playing. I know it was an accident. I asked _how_ it happened. Tell me that."

Mumbling softly, Ria responded, "We were playing catch."

"With a ball?!" Owen snapped. Anna sighed, tempted to be sarcastic.

"Yes, sir," Ria muttered.

"In the Living Room? Inside?" Owen continued, knowing the answer.

Victoria nodded her head as her widened eyes regarded her father. He scooped her up and carried her into the kitchen before returning to fetch Lucas.

Once all three Littles were in the kitchen, Owen ordered, "Nobody move. Nobody speak." The three watched him as he stomped into the garage and returned with work gloves and a large piece of plywood measuring about 4' x 6'. He set the board against the empty window frame then returned to the garage to retrieve two large plastic tubs and an automatic hammer. Wet from the rain blowing in from outside, Owen paused to take stock of the situation. He glared at the window frame, then at the glass spread throughout the living room, and finally toward the kids. The kids immediately looked away when Owen glanced their way.

Within minutes, the power hammer had helped Owen affix the board against the window frame. Although the board only covered half of the height and leaked at the bottom, it helped stave off the wind and rain that had been blowing in. After walking back to the garage, finding another large piece of plywood, and attaching it above the first piece, the window frame was covered. Owen slid a tarp between the two pieces of plywood and was pleased that it hung below the lowest portion of the window frame. At least temporarily, the leaks and blustering raindrops were stopped. Without another adult present, Owen had opted for a barrier on the inside that damaged the drywall rather than climbing a wet ladder and risking a fall.

Without a word, Owen moved on to the living room floor. He began picking up the larger pieces of glass and setting them inside the rubber tubs. He subtly checked on the kids, who would normally be antsy after sitting so long. Instead, they were all stone still and watching his every move. As he cleaned, he considered discipline options.

After filling the tubs and then filling additional tubs, Owen brought in the ShopVac. The loud squeal of the motor caused Molly to howl, and Ria attempted to soothe her. Walking into the chaos, Amelia came through the garage door and hollered, "What happened?" Owen did not hear her over the vacuum, but the Littles all looked at her. Although none of them moved out of their seat, guilt, regret, and anxious anticipation covered their little faces.

Walking over to a crying Molly, Amelia removed her from the bouncer and wrapped her in a tight embrace. She leaned toward Lucas' ear and asked, "What happened?"

"The whole window cracked into a million pieces," he explained with widened eyes as he stretched his arms to each side.

Still vacuuming and starting to yell before seeing Amelia's presence, Owen overheard Lucas' shouted response and demanded, "I said no talking." Lucas sunk lower into the barstool as he made eye contact with Owen.

Owen turned off the Shop Vac and walked over to the kitchen. He rubbed Molly's tear-stained cheek with his index finger and kissed Amelia on the cheek.

"What happened here?" Amelia wondered aloud.

"You tell me," Owen huffed.

Amelia responded with a shrug and pursed lips, stating, "I wasn't here."

"I was upstairs changing Molly," Owen stuttered. "There was a loud crash and I discovered three misbehaving children and a broken window.

Moving her eyes from side to side to take in the scene of wet carpet and plywood, she inquired, "How can I help?"

Pointing at the Littles, Owen snapped, "Those three are staying right where they are until this mess is cleaned up." Softening his response, he continued, "If Molly lets you put her down, you can help me with the mess that's left. Otherwise, can you take care of the baby?"

Amelia swayed her head to the side so she and Molly were eye-to-eye. "What's your pleasure, girlfriend? Bouncy seat or me?" Molly smiled widely as she moved her eyes from Owen to Amelia and back again. Continuing, Amelia informed Owen, "I'll go grab a pair of gloves."

With Molly's cooperation, Amelia joined Owen in his efforts. Whispering or mumbling so they could only hear and understand one another, the two discussed the situation and their options. Deferring to Owen, since he'd been with the kids when the incident occurred, Amelia left the final decision up to him.

"Lucas," Owen barked once the cleanup was completed.

"Huh?" Lucas, his head resting on the counter, sat up.

"Let's go upstairs," Owen stated firmly. "Girls, stay right where you are."

Hopping off the stool, Lucas ran to Amelia and hugged her legs tightly. With a coy smile, he gushed, "I'm so glad you're here, Mama."

"Let's go, Lucas Owen," Owen growled as he towered above his son and stretched out his hand.

Reluctantly, Lucas grasped Owen's hand and was pulled as his father's long legs climbed the stairs.

As he feared and suspected, Lucas received a spanking. Teary and sniffling, he lay on his bed refusing to look at Owen afterward. Owen repeated the same process with Annabelle, who cried dramatically in response.

While Owen was upstairs with Anna, Ria questioned Amelia, "What's gonna happen?"

Amelia sighed and pursed her lips as she made eye contact. "That's between you and Daddy. Can you tell me what happened?"

Slipping her tongue along her upper lip, Ria avoided eye contact.

"Victoria…" Amelia stated with a warning tone.

"We were playing with a ball and jumping around the living room," Ria confessed. "We were bored."

As tears welled in Ria's eyes, Amelia leaned on the counter and folded her arms. Although she was often in trouble as a kid, Amelia sympathized with Ria. The little girl was seldom a challenge and her behavior was consistently stellar. In some ways, Amelia thought, the anticipation and unknown were enough of a punishment for sweet Ree Ree.

From the bottom of the stairs, Owen's stern voice sounded, "Victoria."

"Coming," she answered meekly as she looked desperately at her mama. Amelia turned her head away slowly and squeezed Molly.

As Owen ascended the staircase holding Ria's hand, the lump in his throat grew. He'd never spanked her and rarely became upset with her. His mind was a rush of emotions and considerations. _Not all kids need the same style of parenting. Wait… am I just thinking that to avoid discipline? Is it fair to dole out different consequences for the same misbehavior?_

Entering Victoria's bedroom, Owen sat down on her bed with resignation as she stood in front of him. His grimace spoke volumes beyond Ria's comprehension.

"I'm super sorry, Daddy. I really am," Ria courageously said.

Owen's eyes focused on her as he acknowledged, "I know, Ree. I know you're sorry."

"We shouldn't have been playing inside like that. It was a really bad choice," she offered as she gazed at the carpet below her feet.

"Yep. It was," Owen agreed slowly. After a silent pause, Owen uncharacteristically spilled his guts and began thinking aloud, "Victoria… I spanked the other two kids, but I'm not sure what to do about your involvement in this."

Stepping backward one length, Ria sat backward on her desk chair and rested her chin on its back. She looked at her dad patiently, unskilled in the ways of negotiating discipline.

Owen considered his options. Extra chores didn't seem wise because Ria seldom complained about helping around the house. Grounding her might be worthwhile, but she didn't really have plans that would be impacted by that. She didn't have a phone to take away and didn't seem to value the TV much. Soccer season didn't start for another six weeks; otherwise, taking away practices or games might be effective.

"Here's the deal, Victoria," Owen sighed as he slapped his hand on his knee. "You're going to stay up here while I go talk to Mom."

"Can't you just get it over with?" she begged.

"What? What's 'it'?" he inquired.

Amelia knocked softly on the door and quietly called out Owen's name. He invited her in and asked what she needed.

Holding a piece of paper in one hand and Molly on the other side, she smirked as she caught his eye, "I need to show you something. Are you finished in here?"

"No," Owen exhaled. He mouthed that he didn't know what to do.

Amelia locked her gaze on him. If he disciplined Ria differently, Ria would catch hell from the other two. Then again, as the most intellectual of the three, Ria needed to think about what she'd done. She was like Nolan, and introspection with a side of guilt would be more effective than other options.

Assuming leadership, Amelia firmly declared, "Victoria Rose. I want you to write two pages about why what you did was a mistake. Until I receive it, you'll go to bed an hour earlier than you usually do. You're in time out for the next ten minutes. Start thinking about what you'll write."

"Yes, ma'am," Ria quietly responded, relieved that she'd somehow avoided a spanking but challenged by the task assigned to her.

Owen followed Amelia into the hallway. She led him to their bedroom and closed the door. Letting out the laugh she'd been holding back, Amelia handed Owen the paper she held and set Molly down on their bed.

Reading Lucas' seven year old writing aloud, complete with misspellings and mis-sized letters, Owen verbalized, "Momm, I'm runned away. I don't lik beeeen in truble. Luhk for me at the treehous. Not love, Lucas Owen Hunt." A sly smile crept onto his face as Owen commentated, "At least he spelled his name correctly."

Planting her hands on either side of Owen's face, Amelia kissed her husband and hoped her efforts would lighten the intensity of the last hour. When he began to pull away, Amelia drew him in closer and ran her tongue inside his mouth. One hand slid down onto his rear as he relaxed and wrapped his arms around her back.

"Damn kids," he groaned as they continued to kiss.

"Shhhhh," she responded as she tightened her grip.

With a chuckle, Owen nuzzled his nose against hers and rubbed his cheek against hers. She drew her chin toward her chest, feeling his lips lightly kiss her forehead. His hands gently pulled her chin up so their eyes would meet. Watching the interaction, Molly popped her lips together and apart repeatedly.


	32. Chapter 32 - The Confusing Road

**Chapter 32**

 **An Imperfect Life – The Confusing Road of Parenting**

 **Friday, July 5** **th**

Breakfast had been quieter than most mornings. Still repentant about the broken window, the Littles watched Owen closely and wondered if he had more in store for them. With Amelia at the hospital, Owen ruled the helm alone. He mentioned that someone would be coming to replace the window and that he expected the kids to watch the process.

As the Littles cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher, Owen finished giving Molly her bottle. With his eyes deeply gazing into hers, Owen hummed and mumbled lyrics as he created a reality that included only the two of them. He heard the kids' voices coming from the next room, but was not paying attention to their conversation.

"You finally got spanked," Anna spouted to her sister. "It was about time."

"Yeah, 'cause me and Anna are the ones who always get in trouble," Lucas emphasized, neglecting to mention that Ria was seldom punished because she rarely misbehaved.

Ria peered over at Owen, who was still lost in his moments with Molly. Turning to her sister, she questioned with sincerity, "Why are you being mean to me?"

"I'm not," Anna crowed. "I'm glad you finally know what it's like to get in trouble with Dad. He's never mad at you."

"That's because I make choices that he likes. I'm a good kid," Ria asserted without drama.

"We're good kids, too," Lucas argued as he pushed Ria's shoulder for emphasis.

"Hey!" Ria called out.

"What's going on?" Owen responded from the other room.

"Nothing," Ria lied.

Hearing her voice, Owen bought the response. Ria whispered, "See? I coulda gotten you in trouble, Luke. Instead, I didn't tell Dad you pushed me."

"I think you're both stupid," Anna commentated. She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms as she glared at her twin, "Did you cry?" Victoria stared back but did not answer. Anna continued to bully her sister, "Now you know what happens when you tell on me."

"Annabelle," Ria implored with exasperation, "go away."

Even though Ria stood two inches taller, Anna stepped up to her aggressively. Threatening her, Anna backed Ria into a corner and pulled her hair declaring, "Don't tell me what to do."

Ria pushed Anna's shoulders, attempting to create space between them. Saying words she'd come to regret, Ria boasted, "You know what? I didn't get spanked. Mom and Dad decided something different for me, and I need to go do it. So leave me alone and let me go."

"What?!" Lucas exclaimed.

Offended, Anna thundered off toward Owen, screaming, "Dad?!" Ria took full advantage of the opportunity by sliding upstairs and closing the door to her room.

"Enough yelling," Owen declared quietly. "Molly's asleep. Now what's the problem, Anna?"

Standing with her hands firmly planted on her hips, Anna reported, "How come Ria didn't get spanked?" Lucas was right behind his sister, waiting to hear the answer.

"That's none of your business, Anna," Owen firmly whispered while holding the sleeping baby.

"You can't spank me and not spank her," Anna argued.

"Annabelle," Owen advised slowly and sternly, "I suggest you not question my authority. Stop arguing and zip it."

"She's right, Dad," Lucas interjected. "It's not fair. You can't do that to us."

Owen walked over to the bouncy seat and set Molly in it. Keeping his eyes on Lucas, he walked across the room, crouched down and calmly curled his index finger, ordering, "Lucas… right here. Now."

Stomping to the spot, Lucas barked, "What?"

With their eyes only inches apart, Owen bore into his son. With a steely calm, he clarified, "Your mouth, your behavior, and your disrespect have been out of line lately, Little Man. I am the Dad and you are the child. I decide what is fair, not you. You do not tell me what I can and cannot do. Understood?"

Needing more clarity to soak in the reality of his place in the pack, Lucas shot back, "No, because that's not fair."

Closing his eyes and exhaling slowly, Owen stated plainly, "Go to your room, Lucas."

"No," Luke refused, determined to win the battle of wills.

"One…" Owen counted methodically. Lucas remained in place. "Two…" Interrupting his own counting, Owen shared, "I'd be climbing those stairs right now if I were you."

"You're not me," Lucas pointed out. Meanwhile, Anna watched the battle with stunned interest. Even she would not defy Owen to this degree.

Without wavering from his calm, centered demeanor, Owen slowly uttered, "Three." Lucas rooted himself to the floor. Maneuvering one hand around Lucas' backside and the other in front of his chest, Owen doled out a series of strong smacks that eventually dissolved Lucas into tears. With the same calm voice, Owen ordered, "Now go to your room."

Sniffling and embarrassed to be spanked in front of Anna, Lucas trudged up the stairs and fell onto his bed.

Owen relocated his focus by turning to Anna and questioning, "Are you and I clear about who's in charge?"

"Yes, sir," Anna replied meekly. "But Daddy?" she inquired from the heart.

"What?" he snapped back more firmly than he intended.

"Can I ask one honest question?" she implored. Owen's eyes and eyebrows nonverbally indicated an invitation for her to continue. Anna wondered aloud with sincere curiosity and respect, "Ria is as old as me, but I was spanked and she wasn't."

"You know how you and Ria are very different people? How Ryder and Olivia are not a lot alike?" Owen inquired. Anna nodded. "Different kids learn in different ways. Mom and I decided that giving Ria a spanking was not going to help her learn what we need her to learn. I know it seems unfair, but everyone learns in their own way and parents sometimes deal with their kids differently."

"Next time, can you try a different way with me?" Anna requested.

Owen smirked and held his gaze. "Maybe," he stated. "I'll think about that."

With obvious regret, Anna confessed, "I wasn't very nice to Ria in the kitchen."

"Hmm," Owen acknowledged. "What are you going to do about that?"

"I want to tell her I'm sorry, but I'm afraid she'll be mad at me," Anna planned.

Owen nodded and stood up. Offering his hand to Anna, he suggested, "Let's go together."

~~~~~~~~~~"'

 **Saturday, July 6** **th**

Between conflicting shifts and the realities of parenting, Amelia had not yet had an opportunity to discuss Molly's status with Owen. Although she knew that the decision would best be determined together, she wasn't sure how to begin the discussion. Without clarity about what she wanted, finding the words was murky. After a quiet morning, she had finally decided to simply tell him what the social worker had told her.

She began, "I received a call from the social worker the other day."

"Yeah?" Owen asked, distracted by his focus on Molly.

"I'll share the details later," Amelia promised. "Long story short, Molly will be available for adoption soon."

"Hmm…what do you know?" Owen mused with relaxed surprise.

"And her birth mom is pregnant. She's relinquishing all parental rights. The state hopes the kids can be raised together," she shared.

Repositioning Molly against his chest and partially over his shoulder, Owen stared at Amelia blankly as he patted Molly's back. Silence lingered between them as their eyes met.

"I… I don't know what this means," Amelia admitted. "For us, I mean."

Owen leaned his head against Molly's and teared up. "I guess it means…" He couldn't finish his sentence before looking away and taking a deep breath.

Running in from the other room, Lucas inquired loudly, "Daddy? Does this go with this puzzle or that one?" He held a puzzle piece and two puzzle boxes in his hands.

When Owen didn't turn toward Luke, Amelia replied, "Try the bottom one, Monkey."

"Daddy?" Lucas questioned with concern as he set down the puzzles and walked around to Owen's side. Gently, he put his little hand on Owen's forearm. "Are you sad?"

Grimacing, Owen's glossy eyes glanced down at his son as he wrapped an arm around him. "I'm fine, buddy. I'm fine," he assured his son with a throaty voice.

Before returning to the playroom, Lucas leaned his cheek against Owen's arm. Just days prior, he declared he would never speak to his parents again. Yesterday, he and Owen were locked in a battle of wills. Now, he was tending his dad. The grace of a seven year old was just the gift Owen needed in that moment.

Once Lucas relinquished his grip, Owen stood up with Molly in his arms and walked through the doorway leading to the backyard. Amelia remained at the table alone.

"What are we going to do, little girl?" Owen sputtered quietly in Molly's ear as the rippling water babbled just feet away.

Inside, the house phone rang. Amelia, staring at Owen and attempting to discern if she should join him or leave him alone, didn't move. Ria ran to the phone and answered, "Shepherd Hunt Residence."

"Ree Ree, it's Lissa, honey," Lissa greeted with glee. "Is Mom home?"

"She's in the other room," Ria explained as she looked around hoping to find Amelia. "I miss you guys," she told her sister-in-law.

"We miss you, too," Lissa shared. "We'll be there for a visit soon. I can't wait to see you."

"Here's Mommy. Can you give Nolan and Livie hugs from me?" Ria requested as she let Amelia know about the call. "Mama? It's Lissa for you."

"Lissy Lou! What's up?" Amelia began harmonically, attempting to hide her sadness and disillusionment.

"Amma, I need your advice. Nolan's had a nasty headache since last night and we don't know what to do," Lissa shared without mincing words.

"Can he talk to me?" Amelia inquired as her heart skipped a beat.

Whispering into the phone, Lissa confessed, "Probably, but he's a bear."

With a soft laugh, Amelia suggested, "Let me speak with him, hon."

Groaning, Nolan snarled at his wife, "What's so important that it can't wait?" When Lissa informed him that Amelia was on the phone to help him deal with his headache, he grabbed the phone and barked, "What?"

"Symptoms?" Amelia questioned firmly.

"Pounding… throbbing. I dunno. Behind my left eye. Feels like somebody's stabbing a knife through my eye," he moaned.

"What makes it better?" she wondered aloud.

"Nothing," he whined meekly.

"What makes it more bearable?" Amelia attempted, repeating the question with different words.

"Silence and anything cold. Turning the lights off, and being left alone," Nolan detailed with impatience.

"Sweetheart, you've got a migraine," the mother declared from afar as she gazed out the window at Owen and Molly.

Nolan handed Lissa the phone and covered his eyes with his hands. Speaking and interacting with people only made him suffer further. Amelia could hear Lissa in the background asking Nolan why he was handing her the phone. He snapped, "Just talk to her."

"What's up?" Lissa questioned as she grasped the phone.

"He has a migraine. Go to the store and grab Excedrin Migraine, Sudafed, and a Coke. If that doesn't work within an hour, then he should go to the ER and have someone take a look at him," Amelia explained.

"A Coke?" Lissa challenged.

"Sounds weird, but it'll help. I can't treat him or prescribe anything since we're related, but hopefully over-the-counter meds will work," Amelia explained. Lissa repeated the list and excused herself. Before she left, she asked Olivia if she wanted to speak with her mom.

Amelia and Livie caught up while Lissa ran to the store. Olivia's detailed and creative version of Nolan's headache lowered Amelia's stress level. Hearing Liv's voice reminded her how deeply she missed her flair and energetic presence. Deciding that she wanted to check on Owen, Amelia turned the phone over to the Littles so they could say hi to their sister.

Walking outside to check on Owen, Amelia told him with a matter-of-fact tone, "Well, Nolan's got a migraine…"

Owen glanced out of the corner of his eye. His normally bright blue translucent eyes were pink and watery. "What'd you tell him?"

"Over-the-counter back doors, go to the ER if it hasn't let up in an hour," Amelia shrugged. Owen nodded as he gazed toward the water.

Approaching him, Amelia leaned into his chest and put her arm around him, summarizing with a hint of helplessness, "One has a migraine and another needs adoption."

"Wait…" Owen responded slowly as he held up a hand.

"What?" Amelia questioned.

"Shhh," Owen sounded out gently as he held up a finger. Amelia could tell that Owen's wheels were turning. She impatiently stood silent, waiting for him to speak.


	33. Chapter 33 - Never Ready

**Chapter 33**

 **An Imperfect Life – Never Ready**

 **Saturday, July 6** **th**

After the longest sixty seconds of Amelia's life, Owen finally put words to his thoughts. He mused, "What if we became grandparents?"

Furrowing her brow, Amelia pulled her chin toward her shoulder, "Huh? Grandparents?"

"What if Nolan and Lissa adopted Molly?" he asked at a halting pace. "Molly and the baby?" He searched her eyes and continued, "Amelia, I'm not sure I can go back seven years and do the baby thing all over again… twice. The older kids are growing up. The little ones are gaining independence every day. Going back to square one?" Owen shook his head and frowned, "I… I want to. I adore Molly. I never want to let go of her, but is that realistic? Are we up for the baby and toddler years two more times? Really?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'`

 **Monday, July 8** **th**

On Monday evening after dinner, the phone rang. Lucas answered it and bellowed, "Mama? Nolan's on the phone! Mama?"

"I'm here, Luke," Amelia called out from Owen's office. They had been conferring with their lawyer about the situation and discussing whether or not to bring up the adoption possibility to Nolan. "I'll use this phone, Monkey."

A sense of anticipation covered Owen's face as he watched her pick up the phone. Amelia greeted Nolan quietly, "How's my brilliant son? Did you kick that migraine to the curb?"

"Eventually," Nolan replied with relief. "I spent all day Sunday feeling like I'd been hit by a truck, but that was better than the sensation of knives stabbing through the eyeball."

"I suppose so," Amelia chuckled. "Get in to see a doc this week – I'll text you contact info for a couple neurologists. You should have meds on hand for the next one."

"There won't be a next one," Nolan insisted as he cleared his throat.

With amusement, Amelia spurted out unintentionally, "You are so ready to be a parent."

"What's that mean?" Nolan laughed.

"Kids. Kids help you learn that you're not in charge of life – yours or theirs," she explained as Owen chuckled in the background.

Ignoring his mother's commentary, Nolan changed the subject, "I wanted to call and apologize for how I spoke to you on Saturday. I'm sorry I snapped at you, Mom."

"Nolan, you were fine. You felt like crap. I get it," Amelia assured him.

"That doesn't excuse crappy behavior," Nolan pointed out.

"Sometimes," Amelia smacked her lips, "you are just too good to be true, Nolan. Hey… Dad's here. Can I put you on speaker?"

"Sure," Nolan agreed.

"Mr. Migraine, been working too much?" Owen prodded in a fatherly tone once his son could hear him.

"Dad…" Nolan sighed. "Not now, ok?"

"I'm worried about you, Nolan," Owen countered.

"And I appreciate that, Dad, I really do, but can we do this another time?" Nolan pleaded.

Amelia interrupted, "Let me change the subject. Can I sound like a nagging mother?"

Laughing, Nolan responded, "I called to tell you I felt better, and now you guys are determined to get on my case?" Owen and Amelia could hear Lissa admonishing her husband in the background.

Spitting it out directly, Amelia asked, "We know you guys have considered adoption in the past. What are your current thoughts about that route?"

"Umm… that's random, Mom," Nolan weighed in. He repeated Amelia's question to Lissa and encouraged his wife to join the conversation. Sharing a headphone jack and microphone, Nolan and Lissa leaned toward one another on the bed and each slipped a headphone in one ear.

"Why does my husband look completely perplexed?" Lissa wondered as she joined the call.

"There's no hinting around this topic," Owen admitted. "Molly… the baby we've been fostering… is going to be available for adoption. We aren't sure we can proceed in that direction."

Reacting with logic, Nolan explained, "She's not a puppy, you guys. You can't just start encouraging random people with a fenced yard to take her in because you can't."

"Why not?" Owen pushed. "And you two aren't 'random people' – you're a happily married couple who yearn to be parents and you're our family."

"I can't… I… I… I'm not sure…" Nolan faltered. In an unusual move, he deferred to his wife, "Blondie?"

Lissa detailed, "You're right, we've considered adoption before. I guess the timing seemed off. Once, I just wasn't ready for the process and stress. Another time, it just… I dunno… it didn't feel right." Nolan nodded in agreement.

"I'm not looking for you to consider this out of a sense of obligation. That said, Miss Molly has captured our hearts," Owen admitted. "She's a precious little girl. I can't imagine her leaving our family."

Lissa peppered Owen and Amelia with questions and learned the details about Molly's situation and soon-to-be-born sibling. Owen wondered if a private adoption might be possible, given the birth mother's willingness to relinquish rights. He promised to check into options and let the Tremblay Hunts know any details. The trio ended the call with a list of considerations.

After discussing the possibility further, Nolan suggested they both find something to do that would take their minds off the topic. While Nolan shifted gears and completed some work that he'd lugged home, Lissa sat at the table stunned and speechless. She was as shocked as she'd been when her first pregnancy test indicated a positive result. Although she tried, she couldn't stop pondering the adoption.

"Hey," Olivia piped up as she bounced into the room.

"Hey…" Lissa muttered with hesitation as she stared at the back door.

Jumping in front of Lissa dramatically and spreading her arms wide, Olivia sang her words, "Lissa? Oh, Lissa… are you here?"

Lissa laughed and stood up to hug Livs. "You're a nut," she teased.

"That's why you love me," Olivia smirked.

 **Thursday, July 11** **th**

After meeting with the social worker and then with the social worker and her supervisor, Owen and Amelia were hopeful that the Tremblay Hunts might be able to adopt Molly. Although the case was unusual, the representatives of Children's Services hunched that the judge would accommodate the special requests and arrangements. If not, there was also the possibility of requesting the birth mother to agree to a private adoption. That situation, though, was complicated by Molly's foster care status.

That same week, the Tremblay Hunts attempted to discuss the situation whenever they could sneak out of Olivia's presence. In the tiny house, private time was difficult to achieve. They shared passing thoughts via text during the day and as they drifted off to sleep at night.

In bed one night, the couple considered the adoption as they snuggled in each other's arms after making love.

Shaking his head slowly and thinking aloud, Nolan kissed Lissa's forehead and asserted, "Babe… I'm not against it."

"I know," Lissa blurted out quickly.

Stroking her hair, Nolan squeezed her, "Hey…" He leaned his head over so he could make eye contact. When she met his gaze, both smirked.

Whispering, Nolan clarified, "I'd love to be a Dad. Really. Can you imagine? But is now the right time? I mean, we're moving to England in a few months and I'll be in grad school…again. You'll be student teaching. Liss… how would we manage?"

Lissa wondered aloud, "What if I became pregnant right now? Would we change our plans? Would you step away from Oxford? No. We'd move forward with our plans and incorporate the baby, wouldn't we?" She set her hand on Nolan's arm and paused before adding, "Maybe Molly has fallen into our lives just as unexpectedly as Karina did."

"We have a choice in this case, Liss," Nolan upheld.

Resting her head on his chest, Lissa breathed deeply. She was surprised to feel tears collecting in her eyes and she tried to hold them back. She wasn't completely clear why she was on the verge of crying, and she had no retort for Nolan's words. She wondered if she was so desperate to be a mother that her yearning had obscured her objectivity. Then again, with Nolan's astounding abilities at logical analysis, maybe Lissa could leave that area to him. Besides, she wasn't even positive adoption was the best way to proceed at this point. In some moments, she felt so certain; in other moments, she was overwhelmed with confusion. Neither decision – to adopt or not – was clear cut or simple.

At the same time, Nolan was absorbed in his own thoughts. He reminded himself that they had already been vetted and approved by more than one adoption agency. The only reason they hadn't proceeded before was because Lissa had flinched and backed away. He reminded himself that experts in the business were convinced he and Lissa would be a superior parents, even if he wasn't sure he was ready to be a father. If they chose not to adopt Molly, would they forever wonder what life would have been like if they'd chosen otherwise? New questions kept surfacing and complicating his thought processes.

The couple, each weighed down by the enormity of the decision they were facing, fell asleep hoping to escape the angst until the morning.

 **Friday, July 12** **th**

Even though he'd arranged to arrive at the office later in the morning, Nolan woke up at his regular time and went for a run. When he returned, he took a cup of coffee to Lissa and woke her up with a tender kiss. After a quick shower, he headed to the kitchen to cook breakfast. Before making his way to the office, he'd appease Amelia by seeing a neurologist about his migraine.

While he was mixing the pancake batter and listening to the news, Olivia trudged in with an enormous yawn.

"Hey, Livs," Nolan offered with cheer. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah," she shrugged as she poured herself a glass of juice. Not yet tamed, her red curls pointed in every direction. Over the summer, she'd matured so much; however, her appearance that morning took Nolan back to the years when his younger sister was a little girl.

Sitting down at the table, Olivia stared at her brother thoughtfully before he sensed her stare and asked her with a smile, "What?"

"Nothing. It's not my business," she stated as she shook her head.

"So. Ask anyway. I'll let you know if I don't want to tell you something," Nolan grinned.

With an enormous sigh, Olivia pressed, "Are you guys going to try to have another baby someday?"

"Yeah," Nolan nodded. "We will. Someday. Sooner or later." He stopped stirring the batter and studied Olivia's face before inquiring, "Why do you ask?"

"I really like living with you guys and I think you'd be fantastic parents. It's sad… the babies you've tried to have, you know?" she mused aloud.

With a sound between a chuckle and a huff, Nolan responded, "Yeah, I do know." He returned to the batter, determining that the mixture was just right. As he began pouring the mixture, he added, "Maybe that's why we've waited this time. It hurts more than I can explain to lose a baby. Neither of us want to experience that pain again."

"But think about it," she coaxed unknowingly, "if our parents had been worried about that and hadn't had us three, there wouldn't be a Nolan, Ryder, or Olivia in the world. Can you imagine that? Maybe sometimes you just have to take a chance and see what happens," she reasoned without any knowledge about the decisions the Tremblay Hunts were facing.

Without missing a beat, Nolan retorted, "Maybe a 14 year old needs to grab the bacon and hand it to her brother. Can you imagine that?"

Rolling her eyes, Livs walked to the fridge and pulled out the bacon. As she handed it to him, she pointed out, "See? When you say stuff like that, you sound just like a dad."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

That evening, while Lissa drove Livie to a babysitting job, Nolan called Owen seeking advice about whether or not to consider adopting Molly. Disclosing his hesitation, he confessed that he didn't feel ready to be a father.

Responding candidly, Owen reported, "Nobody ever feels ready. Nobody ever _is_ ready. If you wait until you're ready, you'll die childless, Nolan."

Although his mind filled with various considerations, Nolan responded with a feeble, "Yeah…"

"Listen…You're scared," Owen acknowledged. "You should be. You should be absolutely, utterly, completely terrified. There's no guidebook, no instruction manual, not even a certification program. Everyone will offer you different, and even conflicting, advice. You'll have sleepless nights, mystery illnesses on weekends, and blow out diapers that'll make you want to vomit. Then as they grow, they'll scream that they hate you and lie to your face. They'll refuse to consider your wise advice because they'll think you're completely clueless. You'll worry about the music they listen to, the drugs they might take, whether you've enrolled them in the right school, and when to allow them to date. You'll want to be perfect at it, but you'll make a thousand mistakes and never quite feel completely competent. You're on point, Nolan, you're not ready. If you decide to become a parent, you should be scared. Parenting will be the toughest job you'll ever have. And then at the end of the day…" he slowed down and softened his tone, "you'll check on them before you go to bed. One will be wound up in too many blankets and the other will have kicked every blanket to the floor. One will be clinging to a woobie and another will be using the dog for a pillow. You'll watch their sleeping faces and overflow with affection and love. And nothing… _nothing_ … Not. one. thing. in the world can ever prepare you for that."

Lissa came through the back door just as Owen was concluding his insights. Nolan was holding his chin in his hand and becoming misty. He pressed his lips together and caught Lissa's eye. Unsure if he was sad, Lissa pulled up a chair next to him and grasped his hand.

"Thanks, Dad," Nolan eeked out. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Nole," Owen assured him as he fumbled for reasons to not end the call. "Any other questions? How's the London stock exchange these days?"

With a soft chuckle, Nolan responded, "It's good, Dad. Nice and steady." He concluded, "Lissa's back. I need to go, ok? I love you, Dad."

"Love you, son," Owen declared with deep sincerity. "Give Larissa my best."

Pressing the end button, Nolan rested his forehead against Lissa's and urged, "Let's do this, Babe. Let's see if there's a judge crazy enough to let us adopt a baby girl."

Instantly, tears filled Lissa's eyes. She smiled and nodded in agreement, echoing, "Yeah… let's do this."


	34. Chapter 34 - Feels Like Home

**Chapter 34**

 **An Imperfect Life – Feels Like Home**

 **Thursday, July 18** **th**

Lissa and Livie deplaned with exuberance and quickened their pace as they headed to baggage claim where Owen had promised to meet them.

During her time away, Olivia had grown at least two inches. Over the next week, Owen would discover that she had grown up in other ways as well, and those changes went beyond his comfort level. At fourteen and a half she was on the cusp of a new stage of life. No longer a little girl, but not yet a woman, Olivia was venturing into new ways of presenting and carrying herself.

Until her summer in Los Angeles, fussing over her appearance was the last topic on Olivia's mind. During one of their frequent phone calls, Lissa mentioned to Amelia that Olivia was showing an interest in hair and makeup. Livs had been watching Lissa primp in the mornings and peppered her with questions about the order Lissa applied makeup and the purpose of the various hair products Lissa used. Thinking back to their lives at Olivia's age, both agreed Livs was ready to venture to the makeup counter and hairstylist. All Amelia asked was that Olivia be taught the difference between enhancing her beauty and caking on pounds of makeup.

Taking this step with Olivia seemed so natural that neither Amelia nor Lissa considered speaking to Owen first. In their own lives, no father had been present for such a rite of passage. Neither had experienced the grief and shock of a dad who was losing his little girl. Because it had not been her experience, the idea that Owen would even want to know about such girly efforts didn't even cross Amelia's mind.

With Olivia's enthusiastic consent, Lissa made an appointment for a spa day. Using the opportunity to teach Olivia about balancing costs and wants, Amelia had sent Olivia a sum of money to spend on her first set of cosmetics and hair product. While a generous sum, the hope was to help Olivia understand the value of quality product and make intentional choices.

The spa day included pedicures and manicures just for fun, followed by makeup lessons with an esthetician. After a session with a hair stylist who walked Olivia through the realities and needs of curly long hair, Olivia and Lissa headed to the mall for a new outfit and shoes. Inspired by Lissa, who often wore high heels to make up for her 5'2" height, Olivia purchased her first pair of shoes with a heel over an inch. With Lissa's wisdom and pocketbook at the ready, Olivia chose a quality pair of shoes that were as comfortable as any heels could be.

The Olivia that returned to Seattle in July was not the same Olivia who had departed months earlier. Since learning her new habits, Olivia enjoyed fussing over her appearance. Wanting to look her best when she saw her dad and family, Olivia donned her makeup tastefully, dressed in an adorable outfit, and wore her new heels. Her lined slacks were a far cry from the dirt stained jeans little Olivia used to prefer and her feminine top was nothing like the well-worn t-shirts the Olivia of days gone by would choose to wear.

Upon first glance, Olivia appeared to be older than her sister-in-law who was seven years her senior. Dwarfed by Olivia, who stood 5'7" with the help of her new pumps, Lissa wore her hair in a messy bun and completed her look with flip flops, one of Nolan's button down shirts with layered tank tops underneath, and a pair of capris. Lissa was the vision of "before" the makeover while Olivia was definitely the "after".

When Owen caught the site of the two approaching, he was thankful that he was standing alone. Gasping audibly, Owen blinked multiple times while trying to grasp the new and improved Olivia coming near. Her hair was no longer the knotted and snarled Medusa-inspired mess of a little girl who insisted she had just brushed her hair. Instead, her shiny, soft, and coifed curls cascaded smoothly over and past her shoulders. At first thinking she had grown four or five inches, Owen cleared his throat with disbelief when he saw that she was wearing shoes intended for a grown woman rather than the sneakers with light up princess logos that she'd adored in her younger years. Blankly staring as his thoughts swirled, Owen wasn't fully aware that Olivia had stopped and was standing directly in front of him.

"Daddy?" Olivia sung with a hint of insistence. She waved her hand slowly in front of his eyes and giggled. "Are you there?"

With a wide grin and a shake of his head, Owen tightly embraced his daughter, exclaiming how much he missed her and how thrilled he was to see her. He shot a look toward Lissa and then at the floor, trying to point out that he wasn't so sure about the heels. Lissa, not catching his signal, smiled and raised her shoulders before her turn for a hug arrived.

Mumbling quietly into Lissa's ear, Owen inquired, "What happened to my daughter?"

Lissa whispered back, "She's growing up, Dads."

Owen realized Olivia, eyebrows plucked and hair fully styled, was a replica of what Kayla would have looked like if she had ever bothered with hair product, makeup, and stylish clothes. Definitely the ultra-casual type, Kayla would never have taken Olivia to a spa day and shopping for lined slacks. He silently apologized to Kayla, hoping she wasn't furious with him for who her spunky, rough-and-tumble little girl had become.

Spoiled by Nolan's attentiveness and influenced by Lissa's learned sense of slight helplessness, the now more grown up Olivia had no problem pointing out her bag as it came toward them on the conveyor. She fully assumed Owen would jump down dutifully and grab it for her.

"Daddy?" Olivia pointed out with confusion as the bag passed by. She twisted to her right and nodded her head toward her bag, "That one. That's mine."

"So?" Owen quipped as he raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips.

"Can you get it for me?" she asked impatiently.

"What's my motto when it comes to packing?" Owen prompted.

Inhaling dramatically, Olivia exhaled his mantra, "Fill the bag, it's yours to drag."

With a coy smile, Owen nudged, "And?"

"You fill the pack, it rides your back," Olivia groaned.

"Yep. You prep it, you schlep it," Owen cackled as he patted Olivia's back amicably.

"Shhh, Dad," Olivia warned with embarrassment as her eyes bore into his. Quietly, she pointed out, "People can hear you." Steps away, Lissa stood and grinned with delight wishing Nolan were present to witness the interaction.

"Here it comes, again, Livs. Don't miss it this time," Owen encouraged as Olivia grabbed her bag and pulled up the handle so she could wheel it to the car. Fulfilling his fatherly duty by ensuring he continued to taunt his teenage daughter, Owen turned to Lissa and nodded toward her suitcase, "Here, Lissa, let me take care of that for you."

"Thanks, Dads," Lissa smiled as her eyes strayed upward to avoid Olivia's contempt.

Under her breath, Olivia grumbled, "Seriously… where am I?"

The trio arrived at the Lake House in time for dinner. Seated at the table and impatiently waiting, the Littles shifted in their seats anticipating the food set before them. When they heard the garage door, they all sat up taller. Lucas jumped off his seat and ran toward the door. Halfway between the dining room and entry, he called out, "Can I be excused, Mama?"

Amelia laughed and shook her head as she stood up to remove Molly from her bouncy seat. "Go ahead, girls," she encouraged. Ria and Anna followed their brother and mobbed Olivia and Lissa with hugs as they called out one another's names.

Lucas, swaying back and forth as he hugged Olivia, stepped back and exclaimed, "Hey, lady, what'd you do with my smelly sister?!"

With a giggle, Olivia returned the hug and sighed, "Oh, Lucas."

"Ok, ok, everyone back to the table," Owen gently instructed as he clapped his hands. "Dinner's waiting."

Safely snuggled in Amelia's arms, Molly reached out for Lissa eagerly. As Lissa and Amelia hugged, Molly leaned toward their faces and babbled happily. "This," Amelia declared, "is Miss Molly. Molly, this is Lissa." Nearly maneuvering herself into a free fall, Molly flung herself Lissa's way and was caught by Lissa's attentive hands.

"My o my, Molly," Lissa commented cheerfully, "you are a determined little girl." Molly locked on to Lissa's face, rubbing her pudgy baby hands over Lissa's cheeks, lips, and nose while babbling with excitement and volume. Lissa reciprocated by covering Molly's hands and face with kisses. Before setting her phone in the kitchen, knowing the no phones at the table mandate, she snapped a few pictures of Molly and texted them to Nolan with the words _Meet our little girl_.

As Lissa sat at the table and balanced Molly on her lap, Lucas pointed out, "Molly's our foster sister. That means not forever."

"I see," Lissa nodded seriously. "Do you like having a foster sister?"

"I like not being the youngest," Lucas celebrated. "And I'm pretty good at helping take care of her."

Lissa grinned, sinking into the relaxing reality of being home. "I bet you're a wonderful helper."

"Molly likes songs," Lucas nodded as he shared information with a mouthful of food.

Pointing at her lips, Amelia redirected him, "Lucas…food first, then talk."

He hurriedly chewed his food and swallowed with a large gulp before he began loudly singing his own version of the song Owen often sung:

 _Miss Molly, Molly's dolly was super sick_ ** _._** _ **  
**_ _So Molly called Doctor saying get here quick…_

With disgust, Annabelle corrected her brother, "That's not how it goes, Lucas. If you have to sing, at least sing it right."

"I like singing my own words, Stinkybelle," he insisted as he blew a strawberry to convey his feelings.

"Lucas…no name calling," Owen firmly corrected.

"Daddy – he can't call me that," Annabelle protested.

Owen shot a stern look toward his son, stressing, "Apologize to your sister, please."

"Why can't I sing my own words?" Lucas argued.

"I didn't say you couldn't," Owen clarified.

"But Stupidbelle did," he protested.

"Stop it, you little monster!" Annabelle yelled.

Amelia smirked at Lissa and commented, "Oh to be back home…" Lissa grinned in response.

"Annabelle and Lucas, come with me please," Owen commanded as he stood up and headed toward the stairs. Lucas accidentally on purpose bumped into his sister who reciprocated in like manner. For Lissa, the predictabilities of being home were most definitely in place.

" _This_ is exactly why I want to live with Nolan and Lissa," Olivia reasoned. "Little kids aren't fighting all the time there."

"Olivia, I'd miss you so much if you didn't live at home," Amelia opined.

"You could move in with them, too, Mom," Olivia offered.

"Yeah, maybe we could convert the garage into a mother-in-law suite," Amelia teased as she caught Owen's eye upon his return. "Where are they?"

"In their rooms," Owen stated flatly as he sat back down. "I'm sorry about that, Larissa."

"Dads," Lissa grimaced. "I'm family. Really. No big deal."

"Still," Owen contended. Changing the subject, he observed, "Molly's really warmed up to you."

"She's fighting heavy eyelids," Lissa voiced with a lilt.

"I can hold her while you eat," Amelia offered.

"No, really, I'm great," Lissa insisted with star-struck eyes. She leaned down and kissed Molly's forehead and a smile filled Lissa's face when Molly cooed in response.

Once everyone had eaten, Owen brought the troublemakers back to the table. He insisted they sit down, not talk, and eat dinner. As they ate, he held Molly and remained in the dining room. Lissa's urge to help with clean up assisted his efforts at regaining Molly, but he guessed she'd be back soon. The adoration between Molly and Lissa was instant, mutual, and obvious **.**

Later that evening, after the Littles were put to bed and Olivia was relishing at being back in her own bedroom, Lissa, Owen and Amelia discussed adoption details and possibilities. Unaware that Lucas had woken up and nested his blankets on the upper walkway above the Living Room, the three adults shared a conversation with Nolan via Facetime. Not understanding every word, but catching enough to be concerned, Lucas became more and more frustrated with what he heard. It sounded to him like Nolan and Lissa were taking Molly to England. Although unsure how far away England was, the sound of the new arrangement angered him. As far as he could gather, his big brother and his beloved Lissa were stealing the baby and moving far away. He fell asleep in the hallway weeping and clinging to Barkley.

 **Friday, July 19** **th**

On Friday night at 8pm, Nolan arrived at SeaTac. Not wanting to request time off from his internship, Nolan insisted on waiting until after 5pm to depart. He would be returning to Los Angeles alone on Sunday evening, so he could be back at his desk on Monday morning.

Lissa, who had already become Molly's primary caretaker, waited for her husband to emerge from the other side of security. She bounced Molly on her hip and smothered her with attention. Spotting Nolan through the glass wall, she briskly proceeded to meet him.

When he saw Molly, he beamed as he wrapped his wife and baby in a hug. Blinking away a tear, he inquired, "Can I hold her?"

"Of course," Lissa smiled from ear to ear.

"Hi, sweetheart," Nolan cooed. Molly grabbed his nose and squeezed, so Nolan reciprocated by gently touching the tip of her nose with his finger. She laughed as he did so, causing Nolan to laugh heartily. He looked at Lissa and explained as he referenced the garment bag hanging off his shoulder, "No checked bags. Shall we go?"

As he continued to hold Molly, he stretched out his other arm and wrapped Lissa inside it, sharing, "This feels right, doesn't it?"

Craning her neck to look upward, she nodded and added, "Without a doubt."


	35. Chapter 35 - For Better or Worse

**Chapter 35**

 **An Imperfect Life – For Better or Worse**

 **Saturday, July 20** **th**

 _Readers: I was so bummed when the Japril episode aired recently and included Jackson walking a patient down the aisle! I've had this chapter drafted for some time and felt like my SL had been stolen. However, I like the idea enough to keep it in the book. I hope you enjoy it._

After their first night together with Molly, Nolan and Lissa had trouble leaving the bed. Molly had only woken up once between 10pm – 6am. The challenge for the young couple wasn't exhaustion. Instead, the presence of the little baby with observant eyes and ready smiles captivated them. As Molly lay at the center of the bed and reveled in her soon-to-be parents' attention, Nolan and Lissa giggled and kissed.

Owen knocked on the door, instantly taking everyone back to times when Nolan and Lissa weren't allowed in a room with a closed door. From the other side, he invited, "Guys, we've made breakfast if you want to join us."

"C'mon in, Dad," a shirtless Nolan responded. "We're just admiring Molly."

Walking in with slight hesitation, Owen headed to the bed with a grin. The vision of the three of them together was heartwarming. He knelt down and smiled broadly at Molly, tickling her chin as he cooed "Good morning, precious girl." Molly responded with happy babbling and reached for Owen. "Do you mind if I take her downstairs?" Owen inquired, fairly certain the hovering couple would lovingly deny his offer.

"That'd be great," Lissa smirked. "We'll be down for breakfast in a few."

After breakfast, where conversation focused on Molly and on Chris and Linnea's wedding, Lissa and Nolan slipped away to the mall with Molly. Although Molly could have worn anything to the wedding, they wanted her in a fancy dress. Within minutes, Lissa found the perfect one and the trio headed to the winery where the wedding would be held.

Linnea remained determined to walk down the aisle without a walker or cane. After months of healing, pain, and physical therapy, she had experienced improvement. Around home, she had progressed to using a cane to stabilize her movements. Her stamina was increasing little by little and Chris ensured that her every need was met. Out in public, where she seldom ventured, she used a wheelchair.

Sitting as much as she could, Linnea watched the frenzy as everyone prepared for the wedding. Piper, rising to the occasion, was fussing over her twin sister and ensuring that every detail was in place. Lissa and Linnea laughed that Chris had managed to replace the real Piper with a Stepford Piper. As much as possible, Molly remained on Lissa's hip as the women had their hair styled and their makeup applied. The stylist even added a peach-colored bow to Molly's hair so she and Lissa would coordinate.

Linnea and Lissa chattered non-stop, catching one another up on the latest news and plans. The two desperately missed being together and promised repeatedly that the Atlantic Ocean would not stand in the way of their continued friendship. Both settling in new and unfamiliar cities, they needed one another more than ever to keep the initial loneliness at bay.

Nolan knocked softly and opened the door just an inch or two when he was told he could come in. "Everyone decent?" he sought to confirm.

Piper grabbed the door and opened it widely, pointing out, "This group? We're never decent. Get your ass in here, Trems."

Nolan blushed and stepped into the room. Stepping toward his girls, he kissed Lissa and placed his hands under Molly's arms. "Look at this beautiful girl," he oozed. "You have a bow in your hair and a pretty dress. All the boys are going to want to steal you away from me." His gentle baby talk made the all the girls sigh.

"You're such a sweet Daddy, Nolan," Linnea complimented.

"Almost Daddy…" Nolan corrected as he slid Molly onto his hip and glanced at Lissa. "Lots of paperwork before we can use those titles."

"But it'll happen," Lissa added confidently.

Nolan grinned and inquired, "Do you need a break? Want me to take her for a while?"

Shrugging, Lissa responded, "You can if you want, but I'm fine with her."

He winked and held his gaze, "Let's give Lissa a break, Miss Molly. I have people waiting to meet you." Sitting down next to Lissa, he placed his arm around her and kissed her, murmuring, "I've got her. You have fun with your friends. I'll give her to Mom right before the wedding starts." Lissa nodded in agreement and lovingly watched her husband proudly leave the room with the baby on one side and the diaper bag on the other.

"Lissa…Lissa…Lissa…" Piper tsked. "You found the last perfect man, sister."

"Hey," Linnea retorted.

"Yeah, yeah," Piper responded. "Fine…since it's your wedding day. You found the perfect guy too."

"That was sincere," Lissa joked.

A few minutes before the wedding, Owen popped his head in to check on his patient. The two sat down far from the others. He studied her coloring and eyes as he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she admitted quietly so nobody could overhear her. "Tired, but happy."

"How's your pain?" he questioned.

"It's…" Linnea searched for words, "manageable."

"Hmmm," he hummed with concern as he lowered his eyebrows.

Confessing, Linnea shared, "About a 6 or 7."

His eyes bore into hers as he disclosed, "I'm worried about you getting through the day. You'll sit whenever you can, right?"

"Yeah," she smiled softly.

"Just one dance and no champagne," he insisted lovingly.

"I know," she confirmed.

He regarded her sadly and stated, "I'm sorry you're not back to 100% for your wedding day."

Shrugging casually, she reasoned, "Dr. Hunt, I'm grateful I'm here to have a wedding day."

He nodded as he stood. "If there's anything else I can do to help, let me know." With that, he turned to leave.

"Dr. Hunt…" she whispered as she reached out for his hand.

"Yeah?" Owen responded as he turned back toward her.

"Will you walk me down the aisle?" Linnea asked in a pleading voice. Swallowing hard, she revealed, "I'm not sure I can make it that far alone."

Smiling broadly with closed lips, Owen pointed out, "I'd be absolutely honored, Linnea. But if I'm going to do that, you'll need to call me Owen."

"I can't do that," she chuckled as she shook her head. "Dads?"

With a small nod, he blinked slowly and assured her, "That'll work."

Meanwhile, outside, the guys were lined up with the minister and waiting for the bride. Molly lunged toward Nolan and fussed in Amelia's arms. Trying every trick she knew, Amelia attempted to soothe the normally content little girl, but had no luck.

"Dude," Chris elbowed his best man, "Go get the baby and bring her up here. She wants her dad."

Speaking through a smile, Nolan disputed Chris' order. "Today is about you guys. The baby doesn't need to be up here stealing attention. My mom's handling it."

"Not really," Chris commented as he glanced at Amelia and then at Nolan. "Just go get her. Really."

With resignation, knowing Chris would not let up, Nolan stepped over to Amelia. Molly tightened her fist on the arm of Nolan's tuxedo and leaned his way.

"I'm sorry," Amelia whispered with bittersweet musing. "I used to be able to calm her down without any challenges. Until she met you guys, Dad and I were her favorite people."

"It's the charm, Mom. I can't help it," Nolan winked as he channeled Ryder momentarily. He stepped back into his spot next to Chris just as the first bridesmaid began down the aisle. Molly wrapped her hand around her binky and observed the scene.

As Lissa began walking down the aisle, she locked her eyes on to Nolan and laughed softly when she saw Molly in his arms. Nolan nonverbally inquired if she wanted Molly and she shook her head. _No. You,_ she mouthed. Just behind Lissa, Piper emerged with a wide, perfect smile. Behind her, Owen held his arm tightly bent so Linnea could use it to stabilize her steps.

"You've got this," he encouraged her as they began to walk. "Look at that guy up there. He's absolutely in love with you."

"Mmm," Linnea sounded quietly as she intentionally walked step by step. When she looked up at her burly, football-playing fiancé, he was attempting to subtly wipe a tear from his eye. He swelled with pride as she approached and mumbled to Nolan, "Check out my girl, man. She's walking."

Chris stepped down and met Owen and Linnea at the edge of the attendees. He hugged Owen with one arm and confessed, "We wouldn't be here today without you, Dr. Hunt. We owe you everything."

Humbly, Owen dropped his face toward the ground and huffed with slight embarrassment. "Love, respect, and enjoy one another. Do that instead of owing me anything," he advised as he began to step toward his seat.

Before long, the couple was celebrating, feeding one another cake, posing for pictures, and sharing one special dance. Sitting most of the time, Linnea radiated joy and contentment. Occasionally shifting in her seat to find a more comfortable position, she refused to acknowledge the pain she was experiencing. Linnea was determined to enjoy every moment of the reception and the day's festivities.

As the night came to a close and the remaining dozen or so guests jumped around the dance floor for the last dance of the night, Owen approached Linnea and sat down beside her. "How bad does it hurt?" he inquired as he watched everyone celebrate.

"I'm fine," she lied with a smile.

"No, you're not," Owen nagged without turning to look at her. "Let me take a quick look. Just a brief exam."

Linnea nodded, knowing what she needed to do, but unable to voice it.

"Can you walk?" he doubted.

She shook her head and admitted, "I don't think so." Owen stood up and brought her wheelchair over. Amelia was close behind, assisting her in moving from one chair to the next.

"I don't want a big scene," Linnea mentioned.

"No worries. If anyone asks, I'll say I was hovering and being overprotective," Amelia promised.

When they reached the bride's room, Amelia helped Linnea change out of her dress and stretch out on the couch. Glancing at Owen with concern, Amelia asked, "Do you have fluids with you?" He nodded and stepped out of the room. Encountering Nolan, Owen smiled at Molly and explained, "I'm in a little bit of a hurry, Nole. Excuse me."

"Chris sent me to find out what's up with Lins," he informed his father. "Is she ok?"

Owen stopped and put his hands on his hips. Exhaling, he shared, "She's in some pain. We're hoping she's just dehydrated. Mom's monitoring for neurocardiogenic syncope." Reaching into his pocket, he handed Nolan the keys to the Boxster and instructed him to bring the med bag from the trunk. Although Nolan had no idea what neurocardiogenic syncope was, he handed Molly to Owen and ran to the car.

When Nolan entered the room, he set the bag down and noticed Molly was asleep on a blanket on the floor. Owen rummaged through the bag immediately and began an IV on a disoriented Linnea as she attempted to make sense of the situation.

Turning to Nolan, Owen stated, "Calmly let Chris know that we're with her. She fainted and regained consciousness right away. At this point, she needs to rest and take in fluids."

Chris came into the room moments later, calm and steady. Lissa tagged behind him. "Dr. Hunt?" Chris inquired as Owen met him at the door.

"The combination of the stressful day, all the walking, and mild dehydration caused a drop in blood pressure and affected her blood flow momentarily," Owen described. "In layman's terms, she fainted."

"What now?" Chris wondered.

"She's fine here for the time being. Amelia's monitoring her. Why don't you sit with your wife and hold her hand?" he suggested.

Slowly and softly, Chris repeated with awe, "My wife." He approached Linnea and smiled softly as he brushed her hair behind her ear.

"I'm so sorry," Linnea apologized with regret and embarrassment as she lay in a t-shirt and yoga pants beside him and his tuxedo.

"What?" Chris protested. "Stop that." Smiling at her, Chris teased, "You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn't need to faint and get an IV and all that."

"Very funny," she responded weakly.

As Owen cleaned up the loose contents of his med bag, he advised, "Once you've been stable for an hour or so, we should transport you to the hospital. I'm fairly certain you simply had a minor fainting episode, but a few tests would be worthwhile to rule out more serious possibilities."

"We'll spend our wedding night in the hospital," Linnea quipped. "Is there a honeymoon suite available?"

Owen and Amelia grinned at one another and simultaneously chuckled, "Eighth floor on call room."

"What?" Chris pressed for clarification.

"Nothing," Owen shook his head slowly. "Inside joke." Turning to Amelia, Owen suggested, "Why don't you head home with the kids? I'll stay and accompany the lovebirds to the hospital."

"Stay here, Mom," Nolan urged. "Liss and I can take Molly home and relieve Lynne."

As Nolan hugged Chris, Lissa leaned down to hug Linnea. Nolan stepped back to his wife and held his hand down in order to help her stand. Linnea whispered to Lissa, "My sister was right about him."

"I know," Lissa winked as she softly replied. "He's a definite keeper."


	36. Chapter 36 - Speaking the Truth

**Chapter 36**

 **An Imperfect Life – Speaking the Truth**

 **Sunday, July 21** **st**

Although a surcharge was added to the cost, Nolan rescheduled his Sunday flight so he could be present to meet with their lawyer, the judge, and the Child Service's social workers on Monday morning. When he explained the situation to his internship site, his supervisor enthusiastically congratulated Nolan and had no problem granting an open-ended, temporary leave.

As if they'd been parents for years, he and Lissa were already establishing a routine for tending to Molly's needs. With Owen and Amelia down the hall, any random questions that arose were easily addressed. Taking turns with nearly every task, Nolan and Lissa easily developed a shared caregiving effort. Not having work or school commitments helped considerably, and Nolan secretly wondered what life would be like once they re-entered real life with a baby in the mix. He wanted to broach the subject of hiring someone to help Lissa, but wasn't sure how she'd receive the suggestion. Observing her relaxed and pleasant demeanor, he decided to wait.

Owen and Nolan ran together on Sunday morning, taking advantage of the opportunity to be together without interruptions. Although not much was said, the random and occasional questions and answers provided a sense of reconnection. Although deeply proud of Nolan, Owen struggled to utter the words in an authentic and non-patronizing way. He kept his thoughts private, but wished he could share them comfortably. Bogey, arthritic and aging, stayed behind while Barkley kept pace beside her beloved boys.

Meanwhile, Amelia and Larissa sipped coffee in the dining room and discussed all things Molly.

"Lissy Lou," Amelia quipped, "I have to say… seeing you with Molly seems so natural. The two of you were an instant pair. You speak each other's language. I love it."

Smiling softly, Lissa reflected, "I'm worried about all the legalities. Nolan and I are so connected with her. She doesn't just feel like part of our family, she really is family."

Amelia studied Lissa's face that held a mixture of stress and joy. She knew deep inside that platitudes reassuring Lissa not to worry wouldn't be helpful. Honoring Lissa's concerns, she disclosed, "I remember when Nolan's mom died. I was in the hospital with the twins, and Owen was scrambling to address all the chaos and paperwork that comes with a death. He was up in Victoria alone, navigating the international adoption process and taking care of the kids..."

As Amelia's voice trailed off, the phone rang. She stood to answer it and hear a familiar and beloved voice. Amelia exclaimed, "Baby Bear! I miss you. How are you? How's your non-girlfriend girl friend? I can't wait for you to come home."

"Geez, Mom, take a breath," Ryder laughed. Sarcastically, he threw back responses as quickly as she'd spoken, "I'm in the hallway, so no pet names. I miss you too. I'm great. Let's discuss that later, and I kind of feel that way too."

"Smart ass," Amelia quipped in response. "Your brother and Lissa are here with us. Chris and Linnea were married yesterday."

"That's right. How's she doing?" Ryder questioned.

"Weaker than Dad hoped she'd be by this point, but she's determined to fight her way through every step. She fainted at the end of the night last night and we're waiting for some tests to come back. Dad and I stayed at the hospital with her until she was settled in. It was a late night," Amelia explained.

"That sucks… 'Have a happy wedding day in the ER,'" Ryder imagined aloud.

"With the best doctors in the world, though," Amelia boasted playfully.

"Goes without saying," Ryder pointed out. "How are all the monsters?"

"Fighting, arguing. Luke and Anna are especially going to through a sassy stage," Amelia reported.

"Mom," Ryder insisted, "when it lasts for years, you can't call it a stage."

"Funny, flyboy. Very funny," Amelia chuckled. "Dad and Nolan just barged through the door sweaty and smelly. Want to say hi?" She handed the phone to Owen as Nolan stood nearby for his turn.

"Ryder," Owen began plainly, just slightly out of breath. "Two weeks to go, huh?"

"Something like that," Ryder affirmed. "Hey, I didn't want to upset Mom… I've got a ride from the airport when I get home, ok? You guys don't have to juggle your schedules to come get me."

Disappointed, Owen explained, "We'd like to be there, actually. The kids love picking people up at the airport and seeing all the planes."

"Dad, really, it's no big deal. We can do the whole 'video the dogs celebrating my return while kids jump on me enthusiastically' thing at home. Conserve your energy, you're aging," he joked.

"I see you've changed little," Owen taunted.

"Now why would you want me to change? You'd miss me too much," Ryder poked. "I only have a few more minutes. Can I talk to Nole?"

"Love you, Ry. Take care. I'll… uh… mention the other thing to Mom," Owen concluded as he handed the phone to Nolan.

"Hey, Jerk," Nolan greeted as Lissa and Amelia rolled their eyes.

"You're just jealous, Mr. Brooks Brothers," Ryder retorted. "How's your visit going? Are the rents driving you insane?"

With a slight laugh, Nolan admitted, "Not really. Not as much as you'd think. But Liss and I have some big news."

"For f# *s sake, Nolan, did you knock her up, your horny bastard?" he pressed.

"Kind of," Nolan chuckled.

"Kind of? Dude, do you need me to explain how this all works?" Ryder popped off. "I thought we'd covered it all before."

"We're adopting - trying to adopt – Molly, the little girl Mom and Dad have been fostering. We'll know more tomorrow after we meet with the judge," Nolan explained before joking, "And I'm listing you as her guardian if anything happens to us."

"That's the best way to ensure I'll never kill you, man," Ryder cracked up. "Yeah, the whole family, wife, 2.2 kids thing… not on my radar."

"Right…Tell me about your girlfriend," Nolan stated casually.

"Dude, really, she's a _friend_. She's probably the best friend I've ever had," Ryder defended. Cupping his hand over the mouthpiece, he shared quietly and with awe, "We can talk about anything, Nole. I even cried about mom in front of her. It's pretty messed up. It's safe to share or say anything."

"Sounds like true love, idiot," Nolan clarified.

"No – it's not like that. We aren't messing around at all. There are other girls around here for that. She gives me shit about them," Ryder naively explained.

"Because she likes you, you fool. Like, values you as a person, not just as some popular, rich, and pretty boy like your regular hangers on," Nolan attempted to educate.

"My time's up," Ryder sighed.

"Think about it, Ryder. Maybe she's the one," Nolan nudged.

"Whatever, Brainiac," Ryder grumbled. "Tell everyone hi. I'll be in touch again soon."

As he hung up the phone, Nolan shook his head with disbelief.

"Nolan! I wanted to talk to him," Olivia complained.

"Sorry, Livs, he had to go," Nolan smirked as he rubbed his fist on top of her head.

"Nolan! Don't!" Olivia whined as she tried to cover her head with her own hands.

"She's not a little kid, Trems. Stop…" Lissa urged gently.

Olivia widened her eyes and body slammed Nolan from behind in retaliation, causing him to stumble forward. "And we wonder where the Littles learned how to treat one another," Owen observed with a wry tone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 **Monday, July 22** **nd**

The sparsely decorated courthouse hallway offered limited seating and flickering fluorescent lighting. As Owen held Molly, Amelia fussed with Nolan's tie unnecessarily. She, Owen, Nolan, and Lissa had met privately with their lawyer earlier that morning, and the lawyer was hopeful that she could navigate the waters of this unique possibility. With few precedents upon which to rely, the case hung heavily on the judge's opinions and interpretation of the laws.

When the bailiff called Nolan and Lissa into the Judge's Chambers, Amelia squeezed Lissa's hand and whispered, "Remember, just be yourselves." Amelia's anxiety was more obvious than theirs. Although terrified deep down, Nolan's steely calm demeanor steadied Lissa and her gentle presence kept him breathing slowly.

When they entered the office, their lawyer, the social worker and the social worker's supervisor were already seated. The judge shook their hands and invited Nolan and Lissa to be seated. Although the group was arranged in a circle, the judge was obviously running the show. His crotchety and distant demeanor did little to relax the tension in the room.

"Mr. Tremblay Hunt," the judge grumbled as he studied a paper, "You yourself were adopted."

"After my mother died, yes, Sir," Nolan responded professionally.

"Hmm," the judge harrumphed. "And Mrs. Tremblay Hunt? You spent some time in foster care as a teenager, I see."

"Officially, yes. Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Hunt took me in after my step-father at the time…" Lissa began to ramble.

"I have that all here," the judge gruffly confirmed as he waved his hand in the air. "That must have been quite the situation, hmm? Taking in their teenage son's girlfriend," he commented aloud to nobody in particular.

Leaning toward Lissa, the judge bore his eyes into hers and stated, "Tell me about Molly."

Lissa's eyes softened instantly and a smile took over her face. "She's… well… beyond words. When I first met her, she leaned over to me and met my eyes. This doesn't sound official or scientific or logical, but it was magical. I knew she was meant to be our daughter. I absolutely adore her."

Without comment, the judge turned to Nolan, "I understand you have a sizable trust fund and that you are a Rhodes Scholar about to move to England, Mr. Tremblay Hunt."

"Yes, Sir," Nolan responded simply.

"And with all that on your plate, you want to become a father?" the judge pushed.

"More than anything, Sir, but not just a father. I want to be Molly's father," Nolan clarified.

"Hmph," the judge grumbled. "You certainly have the means and some experience. As an older brother of five, I'm guessing you have some sense of the realities of parenting. Your home studies are among the best I've ever reviewed. You appear wise beyond your years."

Silence rolled in like evening beach fog as all present awaited the judge's next comments. The judge shook his head slowly and added, "You're both qualified candidates on paper, but you're young. You understand that Molly's biological mother has requested that her second child due in March be adopted by the same family? You would go from no children to two children only a year apart. Part of the adoption agreement for Molly would include a provision about agreeing to adopt the second child."

"That's no problem," Nolan stated with confidence.

The judge shrugged, "It might be ill or have disabilities. Might be big problems."

Setting her hand down on Nolan's hand, Lissa interjected softly, "The same would be true if we were carrying our own child, Your Honor. We're not interested in a satisfaction-guarantee clause."

"Ha," the judge chuckled. "I like that." He grinned at Lissa and tilted his head thoughtfully.

Unable to hold back, Lissa shared, "Your honor, I've had miscarriages. Our first child… we held her, spoke to her, loved her. I gave birth to her at the beginning of my second trimester, and she died in my arms. My body doesn't seem to be able to carry a baby to term. As silly as it might sound, Nolan and I have been a couple since we were 12 and we've always dreamed of having four children. Even with our losses, the dream remains alive. If we aren't able to adopt Molly and her sibling, we will be devastated. Our hearts will be broken and we'll grieve. Knowing that potential pain firsthand hasn't stopped us from moving forward with this unusual request and creative paperwork because we know in our hearts that Molly's already our daughter. We love her even though we know she'll be a pill some days and that we'll wring our hands with worry on other days. If we were looking for the easy solution, we would've stopped trying to be parents long ago. We may be young, but we're resilient. We're dedicated, responsible, capable people yearning…"

"to be parents," the judge interrupted. "I understand, ma'am."

Lissa's heart sunk, terrified that she'd overstepped. She sensed Nolan's hand become emotionally limp. Folding his hands, the judge barked, "Counsel, let's draw up the papers so I can sign them. I need statements from Child Services as well as certified copies of the home studies, Mr. Tremblay Hunt's Rhodes acceptance, and financial statements. The file already contains the release of parental rights from the birth mother and the child's original birth certificate. Please confer with me before the formal adoption hearing to ensure all paperwork is in order."

Standing and extending his hand to Lissa, the judge announced, "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Tremblay Hunt. Your attorney will provide you with details regarding court dates and will walk you through the adoption documents. Today, I'm granting you full custody and guardianship of Molly pending adoption. You can return to California with her, but she cannot leave the country with you until the adoption has been finalized."

Rather than shake his hand, Lissa stepped forward and hugged the judge as she thanked him. Softened by her sincerity, the judge smiled and then shook Nolan's hand. He requested, "May I meet your daughter? Is she here?"

Lissa nearly burst upon hearing his words. She confirmed, "She's here."

Stepping out of the room, the attorney summoned Owen and Amelia into the office. They entered tentatively, unsure why they had been called to join the group. When Molly saw Nolan and Lissa, she predictably leaned away from Owen and toward them.

"May I?" the judge requested as he stepped toward Owen.

Molly lay her head on the judge's shoulder and grabbed his tie as she happily babbled. The judge announced, "Molly, these two people think you're amazing and want to be your parents." She put his tie into her mouth as he continued, "I agree with everyone here. Even though the length of your new name will be a pain when you're first learning to write it, I'm sure you will grow up thankful to be a member of the Tremblay Hunt family."

The judge, having revealed his softer side, handed Molly to Nolan. He leaned toward Lissa and praised her, "Your words and honesty spoke volumes."

While everyone in the room celebrated and shared handshakes, Nolan, Lissa and Molly formed an invisible cocoon and drank in the moment they officially became a family of three.


	37. Chapter 37 - Ages and Stages

**Chapter 37**

 **An Imperfect Life – Ages and Stages**

 **Monday, July 22** **nd**

Although the evening would only include a quick pizza dinner, there were bags to pack and news to be shared before Nolan returned to Los Angeles the following morning. While Nolan and Lissa spent some time alone with Molly before returning to the house, Owen and Amelia rushed home to begin dinner. As he tore lettuce leaves and chopped ingredients for a salad, Owen verbally listed the details that needed to be completed. Without intending to, he walked the fine line of overstepping his boundaries as a grandfather. Certain details now belonged to Nolan and Lissa, not to Owen and Amelia.

"Someone needs to meet with the lawyer to learn about all the details and to jot down the court dates," he shared with Amelia.

"Yep," she agreed passively as she dug in the refrigerator for milk and juice.

"Oh… and their wills should be updated immediately. Or at least as soon as the adoption is final. We'll have to check with the lawyer on timing," Owen detailed.

"I'm sure they'll do that, O," Amelia commented.

"How are they going to get the bouncy seat and all of Molly's belongings on the airplane? Maybe I should arrange to have a few days off. I could drive everything down in the Jeep, stay a few days to help them settle in and then fly home," he added.

"Not necessary," Amelia declared flatly.

Not hearing her, Owen continued, "How about diapers? Are we good on diapers? I could stop at the store on the way to the airport so they have enough for the flight and for a day or two."

"Not your problem, Handsome," Amelia deadpanned.

"What?" Owen questioned incredulously.

With a smile, Amelia pointed out, "Owen… Molly is _their_ responsibility now, not ours, not yours. They'll need to figure all this out on their own. If they need our help, they'll ask us."

"But they don't know…" Owen protested with positive intentions and care. "Amelia, they've never raised a baby or run out of formula in the middle of the night." Overwrought, he stopped chopping and put his hands up on either side, "What if they forget her binky? Then what?"

Laughing, Amelia lowered her inner eyebrows and suggested, "Then they'll learn to never make that mistake again. That's how parents learn, Owen. It's our turn to step back."

"I can't step back," Owen huffed with mild panic and a guilty grin.

Amelia leaned against the counter and stared at Owen with compassion. "Do you remember how your mom was over here all the time trying to orchestrate everything when the twins came home? And how my mom basically moved in until she was sure we were competent enough to keep Lucas alive?"

"No," he stated blankly.

Leaning toward him and widening her smile, Amelia suggested, "That's because they knew better. They didn't overstep the sacred parent-grandparent line in the sand."

"There's no line," Owen mumbled as he shook his head and returned to slicing green onions.

"You're unbelievable," Amelia opined with laughter. "Oh, Owen…"

"There isn't," he insisted stubbornly.

"Well that's a relief," Amelia sighed. "I guess I'll call your mom and have her come over to deal with bath time tonight. I'm not sure I'm up to it. Maybe I don't know what I'm doing."

"You're harassing me," he playfully pouted.

Walking around the corner and slithering between Owen's body and the counter, Amelia suggestively offered, "Now when we wake up in the middle of the night, we can do this." She kissed him and grabbed his ass.

"Oh yeah?" he flirted.

"Mmm hmm," she hummed as she continued to kiss him.

"Eeeewwww! You're making our food, you guys. Gross," Olivia proclaimed as she stepped into the kitchen.

"We're not naked and on the counter, Liv," Amelia shrugged.

"Oh my ears!" Olivia screamed as she threw her hands over her ears. "You are SO disgusting, Mom!"

"That's nothing, kid," Amelia teased confidently.

"Mia…" Owen grinned and warned. He watched Olivia flee to the playroom and then mentioned, "I've been wanting to talk to you about the makeup and heels."

Confused, Amelia replied, "My makeup and heels?"

"No," he scoffed at a low volume hoping not to be overheard. " _Olivia's_."

"She's really growing up, isn't she?" Amelia mused with delight as she headed toward the dining room with a handful of plates.

"I'm not comfortable with it," he declared, carrying the utensils needed for dinner.

Cocking her head, Amelia pressed, "What do you mean?"

Looking around to make sure they were alone, Owen stressed, "She's too young. She looks like she's in her 20s. She takes half an hour to do her hair and another half hour to put on makeup…"

"Right…" Amelia agreed slowly. "And?"

"And she's fourteen," he emphasized. "Fourteen, Mia."

"At what age is it appropriate for her to start applying makeup, doing her hair, and wearing heels?" she questioned with a hint of disbelief.

"Thirty six," he huffed with a chuckle. Amelia glanced at him and headed back toward the kitchen.

Following her, Owen persisted, "Mia… I don't understand how you're ok with this. Why didn't we talk about it first?"

"Considering we didn't talk about when the boys started using hair product or wearing jock straps, I guess I didn't see the issue," she reasoned with sass and a smile.

"That's different," Owen upheld.

"Because she's a girl?" Amelia pressed.

Knowing the gender card would lead to a debate, Owen paused before confessing sadly, "I'm not ready for her to grow up."

"It's what they do, O," Amelia pointed out lovingly. Approaching him from behind and hugging him, she empathized, "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it, but she's starting high school. Do you know how many girls have already been primping in middle school? We're lucky she waited this long."

"I would've locked her in a tower if she'd done this in sixth or seventh grade," he crowed.

Chuckling, Amelia wondered, "Maybe all those fairy tales don't seem so unbelievable anymore, huh, Daddy?"

Turning around to face her, Owen hugged Amelia and kissed the top of her head. Closing his eyes, he took in a deep breath and maintained, "Maybe I am ready to be a grandparent."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Naively assuming the Littles would be thrilled to hear the news about Molly, nobody thought to mention it before dinner. Owen and Nolan created a plan where Nolan would announce the news as the family shared highs and lows.

Nolan and Lissa returned the house with Molly ten minutes before dinner. Predictably, they had already stopped to visit Linnea and had posed for pictures as a family at a nearby park.

"Hey, there's my foster sister!" Lucas cooed as he met the family at the door and rubbed his nose on Molly's belly. Molly laughed as Lucas jumped up and down and made silly faces.

Kneeling down with Molly in her arms, Lissa observed, "She really likes you, Lucas."

Hugging the baby and Lissa, he sighed, "And I really love her."

Nolan swooped in and picked Lucas up unexpectedly. Throwing Lucas onto his broad shoulders, Nolan put forth, "And I really love this guy. He's fun to wrestle."

"Hey! I didn't know you were gonna do that!" Lucas giggled as he covered Nolan's eyes.

Pretending to not be able to see, Nolan bumped into a few walls before executing a controlled fall onto the living room floor. Lucas climbed onto his brother's back and howled with laugher as he attacked him, threatening, "I'm gonna pin you, Nolan Molan!"

"What's a Molan?" Nolan challenged as he picked up his brother and pretended that he was going to drop him onto the floor.

"I dunno," Lucas stated as he pummeled his big brother.

With Olivia back home, new alliances had been formed. Ria clung to the relative safety of her older sister, distancing herself from Anna and Lucas. When the two girls emerged from the play room and discovered Lucas and Nolan wrestling, Olivia commented, "How immature."

"Yeah," Ria echoed, having no idea what the word meant.

"Mama, can we help with anything?" Olivia inquired pleasantly.

"I think we're good, Livs," Amelia began as she took stock. "Food's all here, table's set. Where's your dad?"

"Over there," Ria pointed outside, "on the deck."

"As soon as he and Anna are here, we can start," Amelia mentioned.

"Anna's upstairs in the shower," Olivia informed her mother.

"Right before dinner?" Amelia asked.

"She wanted to try my curly shampoo," Olivia mentioned casually as Amelia imagined Anna coming down to dinner all made up and styled.

"Dad won't want to start without everyone here. Can you tell her to finish up?" Amelia requested.

As Ria led Owen inside and told him about her day, he slid her onto his lap as he sat at the head of the table. "Are you too old for this?" he inquired with good-humor.

Ria wrapped her arms around Owen's neck and promised, "I'll never be too old to hug you, Daddy." Amelia and Owen shared a soft smile as he rubbed his cheek against Ria's ear. She giggled with delight, exclaiming, "That tickles!"

Soon, everyone but Anna was seated and ready. After Amelia pulled Owen aside and encouraged him to begin without her, he indulged. "How's today been?" he questioned.

"Oooh! I wanna start tonight," Lucas begged. Owen nodded and Lucas proclaimed, "My best part of today was playing fight with Nolan."

"Any lows?" Amelia asked.

"Nope," Lucas shook his head. "But I have one question."

"What's that?" Owen smiled.

"How come Molly's sitting by Lissa instead of by you and me?" he wondered.

"Hmm…" Owen hummed as he twisted his closed lips from side to side. "Nolan, you want to go next?"

"I had a lot of highs today… wresting with Lucas was a blast, Lissa and I visited Linnea. Oh, yeah, and we became parents," he offered nonchalantly, waiting to see the reaction.

"What?!" Olivia celebrated.

Casually, Nolan grasped Lissa's hand and clarified, "We took the first step in adopting Molly this morning. We're her Mom and Dad."

With stunned sadness, Lucas muttered, "But she's our foster sister."

"Remember, Lucas," Amelia prompted, "we've talked about how Molly would be with us for a while but not forever. But now she'll always be a part of the family because you'll be her uncle."

"So you stole her from us?" Lucas attempted to understand.

"No, Luke," Lissa tried. "We asked a judge if she could be our daughter forever, so she's not a foster kid anymore."

"Will she still live here?" he wondered innocently.

"You know how you live with our Mom and Dad? Molly is going to live her mom and dad. She'll live with us because we're her Mom and Dad," Nolan explained.

"Oh," Lucas let out softly. He placed his forearms on the table and lowered his head onto his wrists.

"Manners…" Owen reminded his youngest quietly as he cleared his throat.

Amelia put a hand on Owen's hand and then piped up, "Girls, how do you feel about the adoption?"

"Can we do this after dinner?" Owen mumbled to his wife, wanting to maintain a certain mood at the table.

"What's her name now? Do you get to change it when you adopt a baby? Or do you have to keep it the same?" Olivia inquired.

"She'll still be Molly, but now her last name will be Tremblay Hunt," Nolan replied before hesitating. He looked over at Amelia and mentioned, "In all the paperwork I've reviewed, I haven't seen a middle name."

"I don't think she has one," Owen shared. "Her hospital chart lists first and last only."

"Well…maybe we'll have to consider middle names," Nolan ventured. Motioning to his parents, Nolan requested that he take Lucas upstairs. After the both nodded, Nolan suggested, "Hey, Lucas, can you come upstairs with me?"

Lucas peeked at his parents who both gave him permission. He trudged along sadly behind his brother as the two headed upstairs.

As the girls celebrated becoming aunties and listened to Lissa talk about meeting the judge, Nolan asked Lucas if they could talk in Lucas' room.

Plopping on his bed, Lucas looked inquisitively at Nolan and wondered, "Why did you want me to come upstairs? Am I in trouble?"

"No," Nolan shook his head. He slid down the wall and leaned his arms on his knees as he settled onto the floor. "I want to say that I'm sorry."

"For what?" Lucas inquired.

"I'm sorry we didn't talk to you about Molly before dinner," Nolan apologized. "You were kind of bummed, huh?"

"I don't like being sad in front of the girls," Lucas explained.

"I get that," Nolan nodded. "Except for Lissa, I don't like being sad in front of girls either." After giving Lucas a chance to respond, Nolan added, "You're sad about Molly moving away."

"Mmm Hmm," Lucas responded with hesitation as he grabbed tightly on his puppy blanky. "And I'm mad." Nolan nodded without providing a verbal response. Eventually, Lucas continued, "I like being her brother."

"Sometimes it's fun being a big brother," Nolan affirmed.

"I like helping feed her and making her laugh," Lucas added.

Nolan grinned, "She's pretty cute when she laughs."

"She doesn't make fun of me when I'm silly. She likes it. The twins don't like me when I'm silly," Lucas disclosed.

"I remember when Ryder was a baby and he laughed when I did silly stuff," Nolan shared.

"He did?" Lucas responded with widened eyes.

"But then when he started to crawl, he would try to take my toys and that made me mad," Nolan admitted. "Then, he put everything in his mouth, so my toys had baby spit on them."

"Ewwww!" Lucas reacted.

"And my mom was worried that Ryder would choke on my Legos so I could only play with them in my bedroom," Nolan detailed.

"That's not fair," Lucas declared.

"Pretty soon, Molly will start trying to put everything in her mouth. Wherever she goes, little toys, Legos, and Hot Wheels will all have to be kept away from her," Nolan pointed out. "Mom's call it 'babyproofing.'"

"That sounds rotten," Lucas weighed in.

"It's kind of a pain. I lived through it five times," Nolan nodded.

"Maybe that's why you can be a Daddy now, huh?" Lucas decided.

"Maybe. And, you know, whenever you visit us or we visit you, you can help feed Molly," Nolan promised.

"Cool," Lucas smiled.

"I'll even let you change her diapers," Nolan teased.

"No way! That's a Dad job," Lucas giggled.


	38. Chapter 38 - Expectations

**Chapter 38**

 **An Imperfect Life – Expectations**

 **Tuesday, July 23** **rd**

Nolan, Lissa, and Molly returned to Los Angeles the next day. They received an offer on the house while in Seattle and needed to review the details. Even though his supervisor had offered to conclude the internship early given Molly's adoption, Nolan wanted to complete his original arrangement. Since Lissa resigned from her job after the adoption, she'd be able to manage their day-to-day life. Olivia, when she found out that Lissa would no longer be teaching dance, opted to stay in Seattle.

 **Wednesday, July 24** **th**

Olivia's re-entry home was bumpier than anyone anticipated. While Nolan and Lissa were visiting, routines were more casual and less strict. Once they left, Owen, Amelia, and Lynne re-emphasized the well-known patterns and expectations of the household. Olivia couldn't wait for Ryder to return the following week. Having him around would make the place more bearable. Until then, she was resigned to the reality that Lynne would treat her like a baby and clump her in with the twins and Lucas.

"Olivia?" Lynne called upstairs at 12:05. It was the third reminder. "It's lunchtime." The other kids were already at the table and the food was ready. Even though sandwiches, sliced fruit, and milk were on the menu, more formal expectations about eating together remained in place.

"You already told me," Olivia responded impatiently. "I'm coming."

"Come now, please. Not in a minute," Lynne urged.

Olivia tromped out to the open hallway over the living room and yelled toward the dining room, "Like this? You want me to come down like this?" Two strands of her hair remained unbraided and hanging loose. From Olivia's point-of-view, she was on the brink of a serious hair crisis. From Lynne's perspective, a power struggle was beginning to brew. "I'll be down in a minute. Just start without me."

Smiling curtly at the Littles, Lynne suggested, "I'll go help Olivia. Why don't you three begin?" All three sets of eyes followed Lynne's movements until she was out of sight.

"What's she gonna do?" Ria wondered aloud.

"I think Livie's in trouble for being sassy," Anna surmised as Lucas quietly listened in and ate his lunch.

Rapping firmly on the locked bathroom door, Lynne called to Olivia, "Miss Olivia, you are expected at the table."

"I told you I'm almost done," Olivia snapped. "If you'd leave me alone, I'd be down there by now."

Rather than argue through the door, Lynne leaned on the hallway wall and waited for Olivia to emerge. When she did, Lynne offered a stern look and proceeded into the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" Olivia questioned.

"Go eat, Olivia," Lynne instructed.

Olivia rolled her eyes and headed to the dining room. She sat down and began eating without comment. When she noticed all eyes were on her, she put her sandwich down and inquired, "What?!"

"Are you in trouble?" Ria wondered with hesitation.

"No," Olivia snapped.

"But you were sassy to Miss Lynne," Lucas observed.

"I was not, you little pest. I needed to finish my hair," Olivia argued.

The four kids ate their lunch without much chatting. A few minutes later, Lynne returned downstairs, but said nothing. She had stripped Olivia's bathroom of every possible hair tie, brush, and product. Lynne reasoned that if Olivia's hair was going to delay her, then Olivia didn't need to primp.

After Olivia took her last bite, she stood to clear her plate.

"Excuse me, Miss," Lynne warned.

With a shrug, Olivia stated, "I'm done eating."

"And in this house, there are rules. When children have finished eating, what do they ask?" Lynne tutored.

"May I be excused?" Olivia asked with a tone that dripped inauthentic, syrup-level sweetness.

"Yes, Olivia, you may. You may also continue walking past the kitchen sink and head to your bedroom," Lynne insisted. She'd forgotten the joys of the young teen years.

"My pleasure, ma'am," Olivia responded in saccharine melody.

Lynne helped the Littles clear the rest of the table and clean up from lunch. She heard Olivia's door and then the bathroom door open but thought nothing of it. A moment later, Olivia raged at full volume, "Who do you think you are, you witch?"

Drying her hands on a dishtowel, Lynne smirked and commented, "Ah, apparently Olivia has discovered the consequence for being late to lunch. I'll be right back."

Lynne walked calmly up the stairs and attempted to be reasonable with the furious redhead.

As she did so, Owen arrived as planned. He would be taking Ria to the hospital with him for the afternoon. The garage door opened and the Littles looked up from their clean-up efforts.

With a cheery tone, Owen stepped inside and greeted the kids, "Hi, guys." Looking around and not seeing Lynne or Olivia, he asked, "Where are the others?"

"Fighting," Anna offered in a matter-of-fact report.

"What?" Owen asked, certain he had misheard her words. He turned to Ria and clapped his hands, "Let's go, Ree, you have PT in half an hour."

Anna repeated herself, "I said they're fighting, Dad."

"What's that mean?" Owen questioned with confusion as he furrowed his brow.

From upstairs, Olivia's screaming words clarified the situation. "You b#$ch!" Olivia sounded loudly. "Give me my things… now!"

Setting down the mail that he was casually leafing through, Owen sighed and nodded, "That… that's what you meant."

"Uh huh," Anna nodded.

Owen strode up the stairs and offered, "Lynne, need a hand?"

"If you like, Dr. Hunt," Lynne responded. "I can handle it otherwise." The three adults had an understanding that they would not usurp one another's authority. Any intervention in a situation was checked out before proceeding.

"I'm not sure what's going on here, but I would like to weigh in on what I just heard," Owen stared at Olivia with seriousness. Olivia squared her jaw and stared right back at her dad. "Would you like to repeat that, Olivia Elise? I'd like to confirm what I heard you scream."

"I'd rather not," Olivia mumbled.

Owen nodded. "Perhaps you'd like to explain what led up to your tantrum?"

"No, Sir," Olivia answered as she shifted uncomfortably.

Glancing at his watch, Owen ran his hand over his mouth and chin before commenting, "I need to leave. You and Lynne can sort out whatever brought this on. For my part, I expect to find you in your bedroom when I come home. We'll talk then." He lowered his chin to his chest and kept his eyes on his daughter.

"Ok," she mumbled in response.

"And I'd like your cell phone," he ordered as he reached out his hand.

Without stomping, knowing that would only make it worse, Olivia sighed and walked into her bedroom to retrieve her phone. As she set it in his hand, Owen instructed, "Clear this up with Lynne, Olivia. Make me proud." Then he motioned toward her bedroom. She entered the room and softly closed the door.

"You're good with her?" Owen whispered to Lynne.

"Yes, Sir. Really," Lynne assured him.

"I can insist she come with me," Owen offered.

"Not necessary," Lynne replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Amelia arrived home from the hospital with Ria about half an hour before Owen returned. After changing upstairs, she met Lynne downstairs to hear about the day.

"I had two emergency aneurysms and one full throttle brain bleed today, Lynne. How was your day?" Amelia smirked as she poured herself some water.

"The younger ones were lovely, Dr. Shepherd. Olivia seems a bit unclear about the expectations," Lynne reported.

"Meaning?" Amelia turned from the fridge to inquire.

"She was late to lunch. I reminded her multiple times before going upstairs…" Lynne began as she shared the play-by-play. She ended by sharing that an hour after Owen left, she went to clear the air with Olivia and received a similar attitude. She concluded, "With that, I stated that we would have to finish our discussion when she was calmer and more respectful. She's been in her room since."

"I'm sorry, Lynne," Amelia sighed. "Some days, I don't know why you stay."

"Because I love you all," Lynne smiled. "She'll make her way back into line. She's just returned. She's testing," Lynne reasoned, able to accept that the drama was not personal.

"Owen's home tomorrow," Amelia summarized. "We'll make sure Olivia is clear that you'll be speaking with her on Friday. Until then," she added playfully, "feel free to use her hair goop and come up with new hairstyles."

Patting Amelia on the shoulder, Lynne chuckled and declined the offer. She promised to be over on Friday morning in time to make breakfast.

Amelia settled in to a chair in the living room and browsed through her email. When Olivia walked down the stairs, Amelia glanced up and stated plainly, "Where are you supposed to be?"

"Dad said he expects me to be in my room when he comes home. He didn't say anything about before that," Olivia reasoned.

Smiling and shooting her glance to the side, Amelia shook her head and laughed, "Oh, Olivia, Olivia. You haven't learned how to get out of your own way yet, have you?"

Walking toward her mom and slumping onto the couch, she answered, "What's that mean?"

"Just you and me here, Livs. Not Mom and daughter. Just Amelia and Olivia," Amelia began.

"Ok," Olivia shrugged.

"What do you suppose Dad meant? That you should do whatever the hell you like all afternoon and run to your room when you hear the garage open or that you should spend the afternoon in your room?" Amelia challenged.

"Yeah…ok," Olivia sighed.

"I don't have a dog in this fight, Livs," Amelia pointed out.

"But if you were me…" Olivia began.

Amelia nodded and pursed her lips, "Yep."

As Olivia slowly made her way to the stairs, Owen surprised everyone by coming through the front door. Customarily, he'd park in the garage and come in through the hallway by the kitchen.

"Hey," Amelia coyly smiled. "Did you walk home?"

Owen glanced at Olivia and raised his chin. She ran upstairs and into her room. He turned to Amelia and explained with a laugh, "Bogey is in front of my garage door and refuses to move."

"Did you check his ABCs?" she teased.

With a small scoff, Owen confirmed, "He's alive."

"Damn dog," Amelia quipped.

"Why was she down here?" Owen questioned.

"To see if I was in the loop, I suspect," Amelia responded as she read an email. "She was in the process of redirecting herself and making a wise choice."

Owen walked over to his wife and kissed her repeatedly. "Want to go out to dinner tonight?"

"How are we going to manage that?" Amelia challenged.

"Olivia can babysit if Lynne's at her place, don't you think?" Owen attempted as he loosened his tie.

"Not after a day like the one she had today," Amelia commentated.

"Damn," Owen grimaced. He walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer before asking, "Ria say anything about pain?"

"No. She was chipper and chatty all the way home," Amelia described. "Why?"

"It seemed like she worked especially hard during her appointment today," he mentioned as he kicked off his shoes and stretched his legs until they rested on the coffee table. "Then again, Patricia probably spoiled her rotten afterward." Rubbing his hands over his face and downing another gulp of beer, he continued, "Did you hear details about the cat fight today?"

Amelia set her phone beside her and repeated what Lynne had shared. "I'm not wild about the mouthiness. Being a few minutes late to lunch, whatever. Calling an adult a bitch? Not ok."

Owen happened to notice Olivia was sitting in the open hallway above the living room, listening to the conversation. He subtly motioned to Amelia who mouthed, "Olivia?" He nodded subtly.

"I hear you. I can't decide if I should fill her mouth with soap like my mother would have done or smack her back end," Owen declared, completely not intending to do either but fully expecting Olivia to overhear his ponderings.

Amelia played along. "When I was her age, I think Derek would have throttled me within an inch of my life. Then one of my sisters would have taken a turn."

With a loud exhale, Owen leaned forward, grabbed his dress shoes and stood up. "Our kids don't understand how lucky they are," he mused as he walked toward the stairs. "I'll be down in a few. I'm going to throw on some sweats."

As he climbed the stairs, both he and Amelia heard quiet footsteps and the gentle closing of Olivia's bedroom door.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

 **An Imperfect Life – Adjustments**

 **Wednesday, July 24** **th**

After Owen changed clothes, he and Amelia discussed Olivia's run in with Lynne and her overall sassiness. They agreed that readjusting to home, where the structure was more stringent, and being around her younger siblings all day had to be frustrating for her. She had to shift from spending her day dancing and living with the Tremblay Hunts to experiencing less autonomy at home. The change would be challenging for anyone.

Even though much of the tension was explainable, the disrespect would not be tolerated. Amelia sat down with Olivia and gently explained the situation from her point-of-view. She shared that she and Owen understood that being 14 around a group of kids under 10 was not a dream, and she acknowledged that rules at home were stricter than the rules at Nolan's house.

Wanting more freedom than her parents were willing to grant, Olivia argued that she was being treated like a baby. Through copious tears, she accused Amelia of not trusting her.

With a sigh, Amelia looked at Olivia with sympathy, "Oh, Olivia… that isn't it at all. We do trust you. We never would have allowed you to go to LA if we didn't."

"Then why does it matter if I eat at 12:01 or 12:03?" she bawled.

Amelia could appreciate Olivia's question and agreed Lynne had been a bit uptight. However, Lynne's expectations were and always had been crystal clear. Had Lynne unexpectedly changed the rules, Amelia would support Olivia's argument. In this case, Olivia disregarded and argued against Lynne's well-known parameters.

"Livs…I'll be honest," Amelia admitted. "I'm not upset about the time, but your reaction? The cussing and screaming?" Olivia tilted her head and looked at Amelia with a blank expression. She knew that she would cry if she said a word. "Part of being an adult is learning how to be angry without fuming and name calling. Not every adult learns that lesson, but our expectations are that our kids will know better."

With a quivering lip and tears streaming down her face, Olivia pointed out, "I've heard you lose it and Dad and Nolan and Lissa and almost every adult I know. I'm in trouble for something all of you do."

"Yep," Amelia nodded, "you are. Doesn't seem fair, does it?"

"No," Olivia spouted.

"The difference, Olivia, is that you're 14. When adults screw up, we face consequences that impact our relationships and even our careers. Believe it or not, you're lucky. Facing my consequences will be much easier," Amelia stated even though she wouldn't be able to convince Olivia that her statement was accurate.

"What are they?" Olivia pressed, wanting to know the consequences and to be finished with the conversation.

"I want you to apologize without excuses to Miss Lynne. It needs to be sincere and specific. Either Dad or I need to be there when you speak with her. Since you can't speak respectfully, you don't need a way to be in touch with others. Your phone and freedom belong to Dad until next Tuesday," Amelia detailed.

"Could I be alone, please?" Olivia responded without looking at her mom.

Amelia pressed her lips together and slowly stood. She patted Olivia's shoulder and softly closed the door behind her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"

 **Thursday, July 25** **th**

"Livs? Time to get moving," Owen called out as he knocked heavily on the door at 7am.

Olivia rolled over and looked at her clock. With a huge sigh, knowing Owen wouldn't relent, Oliva willed herself off the mattress and on to her feet.

"Did you hear me, Red?" Owen sought to confirm.

"Yep, I'm up. I'm moving," Olivia promised as she pulled her hair into a ponytail and threw on a pair of shorts, a tank top, and a sweatshirt.

When Olivia made her way to the kitchen, Owen was ready and waiting. Sipping a cup of coffee and peering over the edge of the cup, he caught his daughter's eye. "Good morning," he greeted, donning a baseball hat and rubbing is hand along his unshaven cheek.

"Outside?" Olivia hunched as she surveyed his appearance and clothes.

"Garage," he nodded as he clapped his hands. "Let's get moving before the kids wake up."

The duo spent the morning cleaning out and vacuuming cars, reorganizing garage shelves, and filling the truck with debris for the dump. Later, Owen loaded the littles into the truck and ran to the dump as Olivia took a lunch break. When he returned, he gave her piles of paper to file in his home office and asked her to dust the office shelves. After dinner and a hard day's work, he encouraged Liv to shower and remain in her room the rest of the evening. Exhausted, she was asleep by 7:15pm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 **Thursday, July 25** **th**

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, Molly only slept from 11pm, Wednesday to 5am, Thursday.

Their first night home, Monday, Lissa stayed up most of the night gazing at her baby girl dreamily. Although tired the next day, Tuesday was not too difficult because Lissa was still floating on a cloud and reveling in the new role of mommy. Diapers were well stocked and laundry had not yet piled up. The monotony of being home alone all day with a baby was still novel.

When Nolan arrived home with Chinese take-out on Tuesday night, he stroked Lissa's hair and kissed her gently as he promised to take care of the baby until bedtime. He could feel Lissa's body tighten, but blew it off. At 8pm, he insisted Lissa go to bed and rest. He happily sacrificed sleep until midnight, playing with his daughter and enjoying uninterrupted time with the most beautiful human being he had ever encountered. When he went to bed, he kissed his sleeping wife on the cheek.

Lissa was lucky. Molly did not awaken until Wednesday morning at 7:30am. Thrilled by the long period of time and by her own 12+ hours of sleep, Lissa dictated a text to Nolan as she fed Molly. In a meeting, Nolan subtly slid his phone from his pocket and peaked beneath the table to read the great news. Although he adored the baby updates throughout the day, he was discovering that they distracted him from focusing on his work. His dedication to work and his adoration of the girls collided.

The day was a delight for Molly and Lissa. Molly's curiosity and ability to grasp onto objects created new habits for Mama – after a few momentary experiences of pain, Lissa removed jewelry and threw hair back to prevent it from being pulled. Molly's laughter filled the house as she laughed not only at funny faces or noises, but also at the sound of her own laugh.

When Nolan arrived home on Wednesday night, the couple made dinner while Molly eagerly observed the activity from her bouncy seat. The trio spent the evening on the floor playing with toys. Falling asleep snuggled together at 9:00pm, the family was in a high state of bliss. Two hours later, Lissa woke up and took care of the baby, knowing Nolan had to be in the office the next day. After soothing Molly and changing her diaper, Lissa fell asleep with Molly snuggled beside her.

At 5 am on Thursday morning, after only six hours of sleep, Molly woke up when Nolan rustled out of bed. Initially, he tried to pop the Binky in her mouth so he could hop in the shower and let Lissa sleep. Before the water became warm, she was crying again. Nolan turned off the water, threw on his robe and picked up Molly.

With the baby fussing in his arms, Nolan headed to the kitchen. Nolan made a bottle and began to feed her. She wanted to eat but kept pulling away from the bottle. When he checked the clock, he realized he was running 30 minutes behind. He walked to the bedroom, balancing Molly along his bent forearm and the bottle against his chin.

With his free hand, he nudged Lissa's shoulder, "Liss...babe, wake up. I need to get ready for work."

Mumbling sleepily, Lissa teased, "Then get ready for work, Nolan. You don't need me to help you get dressed, do you?"

"Blondie," he emphasized a bit too firmly. "I can handle myself but Molly needs to finish her bottle and seems to be picky about it. Can you take her please?" Barely opening her eyes, Lissa slowly pulled herself up and leaned her back against the headboard. Nolan kissed her forehead and handed her the baby. By the time Nolan showered, shaved, and dressed, his girls were once again asleep. He tiptoed out of the room after pausing to watch them momentarily.

In addition to Thursday's peculiar sleep schedule, Molly was especially fussy on her third full day in her new home. Even if she was being held, Molly was grumpy. If Lissa attempted to shower, clean, or prepare food, Molly unknowingly took the opportunity to be demanding. When Molly went down for a morning nap, Lissa trudged around the house trying to function and accomplish as much as possible. After 45 minutes, instead of her regular 90 plus minutes, Molly was awake. The afternoon was spent attempting to soothe the baby. Desperate to try anything, Lissa tried an afternoon walk in the stroller. Two blocks from home, the outing turned into Lissa having to maneuver the empty stroller and hold a crying Molly simultaneously.

Lissa hoped to take full advantage of Molly's next nap, which instead of its usual 3pm time didn't happen until 5pm. Near tears, Lissa couldn't help but wonder what she was doing wrong. After only ten minutes of sleep, Lissa received a text from Nolan: _So sorry, Blondie. Won't be home until about 7. You'll be ok, right?_ Reasoning that her job was to be home and care for the baby, Lissa didn't want to beg him to come home. She responded, _We'll see you then. XO._

Just as she faded back to sleep, Molly awoke screaming. Exhausted, Lissa wasn't sure her legs could walk from her bedroom to Molly's. As Lissa picked her up, Molly tightly grabbed and pulled on Lissa's shirt. Her little chin shook as she sobbed and pulled at her ear.

"I don't know what to do for you, Sweetheart," Lissa tearfully tried to explain to her miserably sad daughter. "I wish you could tell me what's wrong." Bouncing the baby up and down, Lissa decided to call Amelia for help. Not able to find her Bluetooth, Lissa balanced the phone on her shoulder precariously. "Answer…Answer…Amma…Please answer," Lissa mumbled as the phone rang and as Molly's cries drowned out her desperation.

Owen, well-rested and upbeat, answered Amelia's phone, "Lissa! Hi."

Barely able to utter words, Lissa explained through her weeping, "Dads, Molly won't stop. She's been crying all day. She hasn't slept. Nothing I do helps."

Pressing his lips together and lowering his eyebrows with loving concern, Owen inquired, "You've tried the basics? Diaper? Food? Rocking her? Bouncy seat?"

"I've tried everything," Lissa sobbed. "She doesn't want to eat, and she screams if I put her down. I'm horrible at this. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Liss… shhh…" Owen soothed. Molly continued to howl and Lissa couldn't hear Owen's words. Loudly, as Amelia returned to her phone and husband, Owen yelled, "Put her down in the crib and close the door."

Lissa reluctantly did as Owen instructed. Molly started crying harder as Lissa closed the door. Lissa shared, "She's crying even harder now."

"Honey, sit down on the couch. She'll be ok for a minute or two," Owen assured her as he put the phone on speaker. "At least now you'll be able to hear us. Mia's here now, too."

"Amma…" Lissa sniveled like a preschooler with a papercut.

Amelia dropped her shoulders as she caught Owen's eyes. "Lissa, honey. I can hear her crying. Does she have a temp?"

"I don't know," Lissa responded. Amelia walked Lissa through the simple effort step-by-step, wishing she could speed over and help. When Lissa returned to Molly and took her temp under her arm, the thermometer shot up to 101.

"101 isn't as scary as it sounds," Amelia reassured Lissa. Running through a list of symptoms, Amelia hunched, "Going to the ER isn't a bad idea. If anything, she's probably teething or has an ear infection. If her temp goes higher, head up to the ER right away. When will Nolan be home?"

"Sometime after 7," Lissa sniffed.

"Why don't you text him and let him know he needs to come home sooner," Owen suggested.

"Is Molly that serious?" Lissa panicked.

Owen and Amelia exchanged smiles. "No," Amelia assured her, "You sound like you could use a break."

"Oh," Lissa sighed. With a mixture of tears and laughter, Lissa admitted, "Yeah, I could."

While still on the phone with her in-laws, Lissa heard the Jeep drive up. She quickly said goodbye and ran out to the driveway. Seeing Molly sobbing and Lissa appearing desperate, Nolan hopped out of the Jeep quickly. With concern, he inquired, "Blondie… what's going on?"

As he took Molly into his arms and patted her back, he listened intently to Lissa's summary of the day. Without even entering the house, Nolan walked over to Lissa's car and placed Molly in her car seat. He wrapped his arm around Lissa and opened the passenger door for her. After Lissa piped up that they needed the diaper bag, Nolan ran into the house and found every room to be in complete disarray. With a tired sigh, Nolan grabbed the diaper bag, locked the door, and drove to the ER.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Still dressed in his suit and tie, Nolan swayed from side to side and snuggled Molly into his neck and cheek while they waited to be seen. By being held upright, sucking on her binky, and burrowing into her daddy's embrace, Molly's cries calmed from screaming to weeping. Lissa, half asleep as she sat in an uncomfortable ER waiting room chair, watched Nolan calm the baby and felt even more inept. Nolan attempted to engage in conversation occasionally, but discovered that Lissa wasn't up for it.

After an hour wait, the Tremblay Hunt's were shown to a room. The change of scenery captivated Molly's attention as she gazed around the room at the instruments and curly cords. Nolan continued to pace the room as Lissa sat in a chair and leaned against a cabinet. Her heavy, reddened eyelids told the resident all he needed to know as he entered the room and greeted the family.

A brief exam confirmed Amelia's earlier hunches – Molly had a raging ear infection. After prescribing numbing drops and antibiotics, the resident patiently taught the new parents about subtle symptoms and warning signs, home remedies, and ibuprofen and acetaminophen doses. Armed with meds and new knowledge, the Tremblay Hunts made their way home after grabbing drive-thru for dinner.

Nolan spent the evening soothing Molly while Lissa napped. He followed the resident's suggestion and placed Molly in her bouncy seat to sleep. The angle would help with the pressure in her Eustachian tubes. Finally crawling into bed at 11pm, he fell sound asleep snuggling his chest against Lissa's back with his arm flung around her side.

 **Friday, July 24** **th**

When Nolan awoke the next morning, Lissa was walking back and forth in the living room. After showering, he approached her and wrapped his arms around her tiny body, "Did she sleep at all?"

"Maybe an hour or so," Lissa sighed as she yawned and released herself from his embrace. "The doctor said she'd start to improve after the second dose of antibiotics."

"Today can't be worse than yesterday, right?" he grinned as he pecked Lissa on the cheek then made his way to the kitchen to start the coffee.

Following him into the kitchen, Lissa pointed out, "At least she's not screaming nonstop anymore. Those drops are liquid gold." He glanced up and smiled as he ran his hand through his damp hair. With a hint of shock, Lissa questioned, "You're not going to the office, are you?"

Smirking, Nolan responded with his own question, "Why wouldn't I?"

Teary, mostly because she was exhausted, Lissa uttered weakly, "Molly's sick."

"I have faith in you, Larissa. You'll be fine," Nolan assured her as he patted her upper arm and kissed Molly's forehead.

Stunned, Lissa stood still as Nolan returned to the bedroom to dress. He called out, "Babe? I'm on my last pressed shirt. Can you stop by the cleaners today?"

Lissa walked toward the bedroom and stood in the doorway repeatedly blinking. Her disbelief ran strong. Not only was he heading into the office without a second thought, he was also expecting her to run errands with a sick baby.

He peeked out from the bathroom as he tied his tie and flashed a charming grin, "Can you?"

"I'll… I'll try," she muttered. He rushed by her with a quick kiss and headed out the door.

When Nolan returned home at 5:30, having left the office early so he could beat traffic and hurry home, he entered a silent house. Bewildered, he craned his neck around each corner looking for the girls. He discovered Molly in her crib and Lissa stretched out on their bed. Without meaning to sound critical, he slid onto the bed and next to Lissa, whispering playfully in her ear as he stroked her hair, "Babe, didn't you make it out of bed today?"

One eye opened with a deeply lowered brow. He instantly knew he'd said something wrong. Trying to charm his way out of the situation, he mentioned, "I brought you flowers. You know, to celebrate our first week with Molly." He lightly grasped Lissa's hand only to find it jerked away as she rolled over.

With a sound between a whine and an order, Lissa grumbled, "Take care of Molly when she wakes up. I need to sleep." She rolled over, assuming he would comply.

Feeling rejected, he pulled himself off the bed and muttered weakly, "Yeah, sure." He changed into shorts and a t shirt then headed into the kitchen to discover nothing was in process for dinner. Out of obligation, he began to prepare a simple meal. All alone with stories from the day to share, Nolan felt isolated.

As he put dinner in the oven, Molly screamed out more intensely than usual. Quickening his step, he hurried to her and picked her up. "What's wrong, precious girl?" He inquired sweetly and with concern. Trying to calm her down, Nolan fretted as he listened to her cry.

Lissa called out from the bedroom, "Trems, I thought you had her next."

"She's in my arms, babe. She's just not calming down. Do you think she's hungry?"

Wearing yoga pants and one of Nolan's shirts, Lissa dragged herself to Nolan and the baby. Her hair barely qualified as being in a messy bun and her face was free of all makeup. Although he would never dream of commenting aloud, he was struck that Lissa had never looked worse. She took Molly from his arms, soothed her and snapped, "Yes, she's hungry…and wet… and her jammies are all wet, and she hates waking up alone. You'd know that if you were ever home."

"Woah… what'd I do?" Nolan protested with his hands in the air.

"Go fix a bottle, Nolan," she growled.

"Sure…" he responded slowly, trying to make sense of Lissa's mood. He rambled into the kitchen and prepared a bottle. As he shook it, Lissa grabbed it out of his hands as Molly reached for it. Settled in Lissa's arms, Molly sucked on the bottle and smiled simultaneously as formula leaked down her chin.

Nolan chuckled as he found a dishtowel and wiped her face, "Are you feeling better, precious girl?" She tried to laugh, reach for Nolan, and continue eating. Then, squeezing her eyes together, she shook her head and sneezed. Formula spewed everywhere, landing mostly on Lissa. Molly laughed heartily.

Stifling a laugh, Nolan used the same towel to wipe off Lissa's face. Huffing, Lissa handed him the baby and snapped the towel out of his grip before stomping off to the shower.

"Mommy's crabby today, huh?" Nolan whispered as he released his chuckle. "Did you give her your crabbies from yesterday, Precious? Did you do that?" Molly reached up and pulled on Nolan's hair, admiring her daddy and reveling in his attention.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

 **An Imperfect Life - Amelia's Bad Day**

 **Friday, July 24** **th**

"Anna, you need matching shoes, honey," Amelia sighed with only a thin layer of patience remaining.

"I want to wear _these_ shoes!" Anna protested with a sandal on her left foot and a clog on the other. "I couldn't decide, so I'm wearing one of each." A bright orange scarf was tied unevenly around her neck and lay over a white t-shirt with ruffled sleeves. A khaki mini skirt and printed tights rounded out the look. Usually, Amelia and Owen celebrated Anna's unique style. She set her own fashion standards and seldom fretted about what other's thought. However, unmatching and open-toed shoes went beyond Amelia's boundaries.

"Annabelle…" Amelia stated slowly, knowing that if she lost her temper, Anna would respond in kind. "When we get home tonight, you can wear those. Grandma Carolyn will love your choices. But right now, neither of those shoes will work at daycare. How about you find your tennies instead?"

"I hate you," Anna steamed as she stomped up the steps. Grumbling loudly enough for her mother to hear her, Anna huffed, "Tennies and skirts don't go together. Everybody knows that. Now I have to choose a new outfit." Her ability to go from 0-60 was faster than the best race car on the track.

Slowly closing her eyes, Amelia imagined sitting on the deck in Santa Monica and watching the waves lightly brush against the sand. Pulled from her momentary respite, Amelia heard Ria exclaim, "Nooooooo! I'm wearing those. Stop, Anna!"

As Amelia ascended the stairs, Lucas intervened. "Annabelle, leave Ria alone! Go away and stop being mean."

"Shut up, Lucas," Anna growled as she pulled a shoe off Ria's foot.

"Those are my shoes, Anna," Ria softly reminded her sister.

"Girls! Girls!" Amelia shushed from the doorway. Immediately, all three children began sharing their version of the situation. "Luke… it looks like you're ready to go. Will you wait downstairs please?"

"But, Mom! Anna barged in here and was being a jerk head to Ria and tried hurting her and stealing her stuff!" Lucas reported with gusto. A stern Mama Bear glance communicated all Lucas needed to know. His shoulders dipped as he turned and followed Amelia's directions.

"Anna, what's the issue with the shoes?" Amelia questioned.

"I can't find mine, so I'm taking hers," Anna declared confidently.

"My shoes are too big for you, Anna," Ria reminded her gently. "And I don't like when you come in my room and try to pull my shoes off my feet."

"That's your problem!" Anna barked as she leaned toward her sister.

The Littles hadn't been this difficult to corral since they were toddlers. The morning had been a frenzy of spilled cereal at the table, favorite dresses in the dirty clothes, Lucas and Anna engaged in power struggles, and the muddied dogs running into the house at full speed.

Amelia and Owen dreaded the weeks when Lynne took vacation. Childcare and hospital schedules had to be adjusted. Any medical appointments for the kids were postponed to ease demands on the overflowing schedule. Since Ryder was still in North Carolina and Olivia not quite ready to handle the trio of younger siblings for an entire day, Carolyn was on her way to help. Unfortunately, she missed her connection in Denver the previous evening and would not be arriving in Seattle until 3pm.

 _I can do this,_ Amelia mumbled to herself as she inhaled and exhaled a series of deep breaths. "Anna… let's go in your room together and look for your shoes. I'll meet you in there in a minute."

As she stormed off, Anna bellowed, "They aren't in there!"

"Ria, honey, I'm sorry about your sister," Amelia frowned. "Is your leg ok? Which one did she pull on?"

"Both," Ria sighed with resignation. She was accustomed to Anna's intensity. "but they're both fine, Mama."

"Do you want help with your brace?" Amelia offered with concern. _This child is too good to be true,_ she thought.

Ria patted Amelia's lower arm and smirked, "I'll take care of it. You go help Anna."

Amelia leaned over and wrapped her hand around the back of Ria's head as she kissed her forehead. "Thank you, baby."

Standing up and forcing herself to walk toward Anna's room, Amelia dreaded what she might encounter. As she entered the room, Anna had one tennis shoe in her left hand and a clog in the other, "See?! I told you!"

"Anna…" Amelia soothed smoothly. "If one is in here, the other will be too." Looking under the bed and digging through the closet floor, Amelia inadvertently voiced her thoughts, "Didn't Daddy ask you to clean your room last night?"

"Why are you always so mean to me?!" Anna screamed as she jumped in place.

From the other side of the wall, Olivia banged her fist and hollered, "Anna! Be quiet. You woke me up."

"You're lazy. You needed to wake up," Anna shot back.

Again, Amelia responded calmly, "Anna…"

"What?!" Anna snapped.

"Here's your shoe," Amelia announced as she crawled out of the closet. "Let's go."

Grabbing the shoe abruptly, Anna shoved her foot inside it and barreled down the stairs. As Amelia shook her head and rubbed her face with both hands, she popped her head into Olivia's bedroom, "Don't sleep in too late, Livs."

"Mmm Hmm," Olivia mumbled from under her blankets.

"Dad left a list for you on the counter," Amelia reminded her daughter.

"I'm sure he did," she groaned, knowing that the day's relative freedom came with a price.

After a twenty minute frenzy to load into the car, Amelia eventually settled into the driver's seat. She leaned her head back and took in a deep breath. She glanced at her cell phone for the time and spotted a text from Owen, _Dept head meeting started 10 mins ago. Where are you?_

 _Corralling your children, darling,_ she wrote back quickly before starting the Enclave and backing out of the driveway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Has Neuro taken a day yet?" a doctor from Dermatology pressed.

"I'm… I'm not sure," Owen responded honestly. "How about Oncology? Can you take a day with the interns today?"

"No way, Chief," the head of Oncology reported. "We have a full house and quite a few imminent deaths. My nurses are going to be swamped and can't babysit interns."

Nodding, Owen looked pleadingly at Arizona, who answered, "Sorry, Chief. Surgery all day and not the kind of surgery where I can verbally go step by step."

"Anyone? Can any department help me out here?" Owen questioned desperately. He had accidently approved vacation for three attendings that week and the residents were needed to cover the ER.

"How about Neuro?" Callie reintroduced.

"Neuro's not here. I'm not sure," Owen acknowledged. "How about Ortho?"

"Research and writing all day. Working under a deadline…sorry," Callie informed her boss.

Amelia's badge was in the process of falling when she opened the door and unsuccessfully attempted to balance a cup of coffee. Her once tight bun now falling apart and her eyeliner smudged under one eye. Jackson and Arizona jumped up to help clean up the spill as Amelia mumbled an apology for being tardy.

"Shepherd, I need you to mentor the interns today," Owen called out, ignoring the bumbling entry.

Barely listening, Amelia glanced up and reluctantly agreed.

"Great, that's it then. Have a great day, everyone," Owen stated. Amelia was throwing the last of the wet paper towels away as he came by, set his hand on the small of her back, and muttered, "What happened? Why were you so late?" This tone was a cross between concern and disappointment.

"Anna was on a roll this morning. Refused to take her meds, wanted to wear two different shoes, tried to pull shoes off Ria's feet, bitching and moaning about everything…" Amelia explained. "She's driving me to the brink, Owen."

Grimacing, Owen gazed into Amelia's eyes. The husband wanted to convey compassion, the boss wanted to rail at her for missing the meeting. Deciding to stick with facts rather than feelings, he asked, "Did she end up taking the meds?"

"No," Amelia shook her head as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a pill case. "Can you?"

Glancing at the clock, he huffed, "I don't have time. I'm already late for my next meeting." Excusing himself before she had a chance to respond, Owen side hugged his wife and left the room.

Amelia turned and followed him, attempting to keep pace with his long, fast strides. "The interns? Where are they? What am I doing with them?"

Looking over his shoulder as he stepped on to the elevator, he raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, "Great questions, doctor. I'm sure you can sort that out for yourself."

Slamming her hand against the closed elevator door, Amelia exclaimed, "Dammit!" She darted toward the intern lounge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

New interns were the bane of any attending's existence. Straight out of medical school, they possessed varying levels of book knowledge and absolutely no practical knowledge. Eager to impress, interns often tripped over themselves and one another to garner a superior's attention. Usually, interns could be cast off to a resident on an attending's service. However, as Amelia discovered when she arrived at the Department Head meeting, her residents were in the ER all day.

As she rounded the corner, the new doctors were joking and laughing in their lounge. The last of the groups to be collected that day, the five interns were thrilled to have a few minutes to relax.

"Good morning," Amelia called out as she entered the space. "I'm Dr. Shepherd, Head of Neuro. You fine doctors are with me today. Let's start with introductions. Give me your name, city where you were raised, and med school." All five scrambled quickly upon her arrival. Those leaning against lockers were now standing tall and those seated were no longer slouching.

A red head with lily white skin stood up from the bench and began, "Jane O'Leary. I grew up in Boston, and graduated from Columbia."

"Lovely," Amelia quipped like a government employee checking an item off a list. "O'Leary, jot down your details and the details of your friends here for me."

O'Leary fumbled around her pocket for a pen and paper. Unable to find a pen and panicking slightly before the intimidating attending, she smirked uncomfortably at Amelia. Without expression, Amelia reached into her pocket and handed O'Leary a pen. "Anytime you see a loose pen around here, grab it. They're hard to come by," she advised. Turning to the other four, she inquired, "Who's next?"

"Tom Thorn, Dr. Shepherd," Tom, a towering former NCAA basketball player announced with a broad smile. Tom's height, darkened skin, and size dwarfed Amelia. "I grew up in Detroit, Michigan, and graduated from Mayo."

Amelia smirked and nodded briefly before casting her eyes to the Hispanic gentleman next to Tom.  
"Diego Reyes, Ma'am. Mexico City, Mexico, UAG."

"Mike Alfaro," the next began as he approached Amelia and extended his hand. She gazed down at it and then back up at his eyes without shaking his hand. "Boston, Stanford."

Peering her head to the side, Amelia smiled curtly as the remaining intern. Setsuko Ando introduced herself. She was from Tokyo and had attended Harvard medical.

"Ahhh…my alma mater," Amelia smiled. "And again, I'm Dr. Amelia Shepherd. I come from a family with five children, all doctors. I grew up in New York, and graduated from Harvard. I walk fast, I talk fast, and I try to be tolerant. A few rules to note: do not under any circumstances raise questions in front of a patient or family. If we become involved in a code, back up toward the wall unless I call for you and direct you to do otherwise. Don't ask me if you can scrub in – I have my own system for that and will let you know if and when your opportunity arrives. And, lastly, if you have a problem with me, come to me. Go above my head and you'll not only be dealing with the Chief, you'll be complaining to my husband about his wife. Let's go."

With that, Amelia turned and began walking as the five interns scrambled to shove their pens and papers in their pockets and follow her. "O'Leary?" Amelia called out without turning around.

"Yes, ma'am?" O'Leary responded as she sped up to be next to Amelia.

Amelia reached into her pocket and pulled out Anna's pills. "My daughter needs to take these. She's nine and in the hospital daycare."

Nervously, O'Leary nodded, "Absolutely, ma'am. Did you… did you want the list I wrote?" she inquired as she held it out and grasped the pills.

"Thank you," Amelia stated plainly as O'Leary began to walk ahead of the group. "The daycare is behind us, O'Leary. Fourth floor." When Amelia turned around and stopped, the interns nearly became a set of falling dominoes. "Who knows the basics of an initial neuro exam?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"

"Why should I take those? I don't know you," Anna grumbled as Jane O'Leary tried to coax her into taking her meds.

"You're mom sent me. Don't these look like your regular pills?" Jane asked sweetly.

"Maybe," Anna stewed.

"They are, they are, I know they are," Lucas piped up as he invited himself into the conversation.

"You know, huh?" Jane smiled. "And who are you?"

"I'm Lucas Owen Hunt. I'm her brother," he announced. "Anna, you better take your pills or I'm gonna tell."

"Shut up, Lucas," Anna snapped. "Go away. Go play with a baby or something."

Jane peered out of the corner of her eye and smirked at Lucas, who rolled his eyes. Then, with joy, he exclaimed, "Daddy!" He ran toward the entrance and jumped into Owen's arms.

"My dad will be angry that you can't do what my mom asked you to do," Anna sneared.

"Maybe he'll teach me a trick or two so next time I'll know how to convince you to do what you need to do," Jane informed her young patient.

"Hi, I'm Owen Hunt," Owen stated as he carried Lucas in one arm and extended his other hand.

Slowly standing up, Jane's heart began to beat quickly and strongly, "Yes, Chief of Surgery," she sputtered as she shook his hand. "Jane O'Leary, sir. I'm on Dr. Shepherd's service today. She asked me to help Anna with her meds."

"Oh boy," Owen chuckled, "What'd you do to tick her off?" Lucas, deciding to be charming, giggled and hid his face in Owen's neck.

Jane's eyes widened as she sputtered, "I'm… I'm… not sure… sir."

"I'm kidding, O'Leary," Owen smiled. "Let me show you the trick here." He put Lucas down and encouraged him to go find Ria. "Hey, Belle, let's get this over with."

"I don't want to take them," Anna whined.

"I know," Owen nodded. "I could ask Patricia to arrange a shot instead," he offered.

"Daddy, no," Anna stressed with desperation.

"Pills or shots, your call," Owen shrugged casually.

Anna retrieved a Dixie cup from the sink and returned. She swallowed the pills and handed Owen the empty cup.

"Threaten shots. Works every time," Owen winked at O'Leary, who smiled back. Ria hobbled up and hugged Owen. "Why are you limping, Ree?"

"Anna tried to pull my shoes off this morning," Ria sighed.

Owen blinked rapidly and shook his head, "Should we get it checked out?"

"It doesn't hurt," Ria reported, referring to her always-numb leg.

Owen knelt down and pointed up at Jane. "Victoria, this is Dr. O'Leary. She's going to take you to PT and have Janie take a look."

Standing up, Owen instructed, "Let Dr. Shepherd know I've re-routed you and let me know what Janie says. Ree can have an age-appropriate dose of ibuprofen. She'll downplay her pain."

"Her diagnosis, Sir?" Jane inquired.

"Spina bifida. Numbness from the knee down on one leg," he reported.

O'Leary attempted her best doctor face, not wanting to look at Owen with pity but desiring to show compassion. She reassured him, "I'll be in touch, Dr. Hunt."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

After PT checked Ria out, O'Leary learned that Owen was in the cafeteria. She searched for him as she and Ria walked past the registers.

"Who's this?" Setsuko questioned as she headed toward a table.

"Ria, this is Dr. Ando," Jane shared. "Ria is Dr. Hunt and Dr. Shepherd's daughter. After the pill adventure with their other daughter, Hunt sent me to PT with this one."

Squatting down to Ria, Setsuko wondered aloud, "PT? Did you get hurt?"

"It's a long story," Ria sighed.

"Have you seen Hunt?" Jane asked Ando. The two young doctors surveyed the area and eventually saw him sitting with Amelia. Ando whispered, "We've named her Hermia – she's tiny but fierce."

Stifling a giggle, Jane walked toward Owen and Amelia. As she approached, she could tell they were arguing but wasn't sure she could back away unnoticed.

"I don't understand why you didn't get her checked out when you arrived," Owen huffed.

Amelia widened her eyes and leaned toward her husband, "Really? Really, Owen? A second ago, you were pissed that I didn't arrive at the meeting sooner. I can't be two places at once."

"Had I known about the leg, I wouldn't have minded you missing the meeting," he growled as he leaned back in his chair, ran his hand through his hair, and spotted Jane with Ria. His voice and demeanor changed instantly, "Ree Ree, hey. What'd Janie say about your leg?" He reached out for Ria and set her on his lap.

"She has some tenderness near her ankle. Janie showed her a few stretches and wants her to ice the area every few hours," O'Leary reported.

"Meds?" Hunt inquired. With a sour expression, Amelia looked on.

"Yes," Jane added. "Ibuprofen. 3 Junior strength tablets totaling 300 mg."

"Can I stay with Dr. O'Leary? I don't wanna go back to daycare. Anna's being mean today," Ria requested as she gazed lovingly at Owen. Owen stroked her hair and hugged her.

"Dr. O'Leary has a job, Ria," Amelia explained.

"But her job just now was to be with me," Ria reasoned. Jane stood by uncomfortably, unsure if she should say something or excuse herself.

"O'Leary," Amelia ordered plainly. "Grab some lunch while we sort this out." Turning to Ria, Amelia shared, "Ria, Dr. O'Leary's job is to be a doctor. Dad had her help you with PT because he had a meeting."

"There's really no harm in it, is there, Mia?" Owen rationalized. "I'll finish up downstairs and Ria can go with me to the airport to get your mom."

"That's too much walking, Owen," Amelia pointed out. "Maybe Anna could go and the twins could get a break that way."

"I want to go," Ria begged. "Anna's been mean and nasty all day. Why should she get to go to the airport?"

"Victoria…" Amelia stated firmly but calmly, "going to the airport means walking long distances. You can't do that today. Your leg is hurt."

"But that's Anna's fault, not mine," she whined. Amelia glanced up at Owen, seeking assistance.

"We could stop by the house and get your chair, Mini Mia," Owen suggested with enthusiasm as he employed his latest nickname for her.

"Pardon me," Amelia verbalized. "Why don't you work all that out, Chief?" She leaned down to hug Ria and shot a parting scowl at Owen.

"Is Mommy mad?" Ria asked as Amelia departed and headed toward her interns.

"She's… she's… uh… Mommy's having a tough day," Owen put forth. He motioned over to O'Leary, who had been left sitting at the intern table alone. He lay his palm above the table facing upward, inviting her to join him. When she anxiously arrived, Owen explained the afternoon and excused himself to get Ria some lunch. He also asked O'Leary if she needed anything. She declined with discomfort as Owen left the two girls at the table.

"My dad is a nice guy," Ria mentioned.

"Sure seems like it," O'Leary responded. "Do you want one of these cookies while you wait for your lunch?"

"I can't," Ria shook her head. "No treats before healthy food."

"Right," O'Leary nodded. "Where do you go to school, Ria?"

"St. Frances. My brothers and sister go there too, but my one sister goes to Montesorri and I think Anna is changing schools," Ria shared.

"How many brothers and sisters do you have?" O'Leary inquired as she attempted to make small talk with the child version of her attending.

"A whole bunch," Ria smiled. "Anna is my twin sister but she's older 'cause we were born on different days. You met Lucas, my little brother. Then I have a grown up brother named Nolan, and another brother named Ryder and a sister named Olivia. And Nolan is married to Lissa and they have a baby named Molly and they're having another baby after Christmas."

"Oh my," Owen chuckled as he returned. "Getting the lowdown on all the kids – that'll take all day."

"You have a large family," Jane smiled as she wondered if Owen held his glance just a bit too long.

"Ria, honey, start with the egg or the tuna sandwich," Owen advised as he turned to his daughter. He slouched and leaned his head against the back of the chair. With a relaxed sigh, he closed his eyes and stretched out his legs, "What a gorgeous day, hmm?"

"Mmm Hmm," O'Leary agreed as she attempted to be subtle as she checked Owen out.

"Hey, Dad?" Ria piped up. "What's the new baby's name gonna be?"

"The new baby?" Owen questioned, sitting back up and lowering his eyebrows.

"Nolan and Lissa's new baby. The one Molly's mama is pregnant with," Ria clarified.

"Oh," Owen took in. "I'm not sure, Ree. You'll have to ask Nolan or Lissa." Turning to O'Leary, Owen explained, "My son and his wife adopted a baby with the agreement to adopt the baby's sibling once he or she is born."

"I like the name Susie," Ria mentioned as she bit into her sandwich. Looking at O'Leary, Ria inquired, "Do you like the name Susie?"

"Sure," O'Leary affirmed. "My sister's name is Susan."

"Cool!" Ria celebrated. The adults laughed softly before Owen excused himself.

"Do you know where my office is? Third floor by the skybridge? If you want to bring Ria up there a little after 2, I'll let you get back to actually practicing medicine," he smiled as he stood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"

When Ria and Jane found Owen in his office a couple hours later, he'd changed into a t-shirt and jeans. His casual presentation was captivating and caught Jane's eye. Hurrying to excuse herself, knowing that lusting after the Chief of Surgery was among the worst thoughts she'd ever had, she gave Owen a quick wave and Ria a high five.

"I like her," Ria declared as she and Owen walked down the hall hand-in-hand.


	41. Chapter 41 We All Have Needs

**Chapter 41**

 **An Imperfect Life – We All Have Needs**

 **Sunday, July 26** **th**

Not knowing how to bring up the topic of Lissa's mood on Friday night, Nolan spent Saturday tending to the baby and complying with the few requests that Lissa had. On Sunday, he made breakfast and brought it to his wife in bed. Perhaps making up for lost time, Molly was still asleep when Nolan slid into the bedroom at 7:30.

"Hey…" he whispered as he swept Lissa's hair out of her eyes and gazed at her. They hadn't had sex in a week. He had tried repeatedly and was on the brink of whining about it.

"What's up?" Lissa inquired as she blinked her eyes awake. "Is Molly ok?"

"She's fine. Still asleep," he smiled as he bore his eyes into hers. He leaned in and began kissing her neck, then shoulders. He whispered, "I brought you breakfast."

She spotted the tray of food down on the floor as Nolan ran his hands over her breasts and attempted to slide her nightie off. His hand roamed down before Lissa set her hand on top of his. "Nole," Lissa discouraged, "not now."

"Yes, now," he chuckled as he worked his way to her lips and kissed her.

Pulling away, Lissa slipped out from under him and forced a smirk, "Trems… I'm just not into it right now." She put her nightie back on her shoulders and reached down for breakfast. "You want to share?" she inquired as she sat on the edge of the bed.

Nolan flopped onto the bed and declined. Then he forced himself to sit up and made his way to the shower. Having struck out with his wife, he and his hand had a date. As he imagined Lissa in the shower with him and sought release, Lissa nibbled on toast and eggs in the next room.

A few minutes later, just as he was about to climax, Lissa barged into the bathroom, "Can I use your electric razor?" She rifled through the drawers in search of it.

Leaning against tile, Nolan exhaled and closed his eyes. "It's on the dresser, Blondie," he grumbled in frustration.

Leaving the door wide open, Lissa moved to the bedroom. She peeked around the doorway to let him know that she'd found it, then sat on the bed and shaved her legs. Nolan debated whether to return to his own needs. Deciding to indulge himself, he closed his eyes and thought back to the time he and Lissa shared in Canada. He hummed softly with pleasure as he stroked himself. Again, Lissa walked in. This time, she came to put the razor away.

"What are you doing?" he snapped impatiently.

"Putting your razor away, geesh," she shot back. Opening the shower door uninvited, she'd planned to ask him what his problem was. Instead, she discovered him with his hand on his hardened organ. Unintentionally, she sputtered, "What are you doing?"

"Close the damn door, Larissa," he protested.

She closed it quickly, embarrassed as much for herself as for him. He leaned against the tile, horrified and thinking to himself, _F #k … now what?_ He turned off the water, abruptly grabbed a towel and began to dry off.

"Umm…Nole?" Lissa inquired with hesitation as she neared the bathroom.

"What?" he answered curtly as he wrapped a towel around his waist and avoided her gaze.

"Ryder's on the phone," she announced as she handed him his cell.

Taking the phone from Lissa's hand, he put the phone to his ear without thanking or acknowledging her. "What's up?" he snapped at his brother with a more abrupt tone than intended.

"You sound pissed," Ryder reflected.

"What's going on, Ry?" Nolan repeated flatly.

"Just calling to say hey. I'm coming home next week. When are you guys coming?" Ryder wondered.

Sneering at the play on words, Nolan grumbled to himself, "Never… never again, apparently."

"What?" Ryder inquired as he pressed the phone against his ear.

"Sorry," Nolan offered. "Messed up morning… Umm… we're heading to Seattle as soon as the house is closed. Liss might be going up sooner for an adoption hearing. We're waiting for details on both fronts."

"I'm hoping it won't be long," Ryder shared. "I think it's going to be weird to move back home after this summer."

"Need big brother's protection and help, eh?" Nolan teased.

Ignoring the taunt, Ryder inquired, "How is the baby?"

"Dude, she's phenomenal. Her smile lights up the room and she's so observant. She's strong, too. When we put her on her tummy, she holds up her head and half her chest," Nolan proudly reported.

"Sounds like a great kid," Ryder reflected as he noted the tenderness in Nolan's otherwise confident and assured voice.

"She is. But, man, it's been a tough week. We had to take her to the ER this week for an ear infection. We need a Lynne," Nolan shared. Lissa walked in with Molly in her arms and widened her eyes with disbelief before rolling them. She reached around him and grabbed a hair tie.

"Isn't that what a wife is for? Lynne – younger and with benefits but still runs errands and cooks?" Ryder quipped.

"No class, Dude, you have no class," Nolan chuckled. "If Lissa could hear you, you'd be flat on the ground."

"Nah... she's just a tiny little thing. I'm not afraid of her," Ryder joked before signing off. "Be sure to let me know when you'll be in Seattle."

"Will do. It'll be good to see you," Nolan nodded as he hit the end button. He threw on a pair of shorts and went in search of his wife. "What's with the eye roll?"

"We need a Lynne?" Lissa repeated with shock and anger. "We need a Lynne?!"

"Wouldn't that be great?" Nolan smirked. "To help out around here, keep up with the laundry and meals? Help with Molly?"

"I can't handle it, huh?" Lissa challenged. She was overwrought, on the edge of both fury and tears.

"I didn't say that, Shorty," Nolan shook his head. Molly sat in her bouncy seat on the counter, moving her head back and forth toward the current voice and babbling along. "Look…" he offered gently as he stepped toward Lissa and prepared to set his hand on her arm.

Interrupting, she turned, pushed his hand away, and yelled, "Get away from me, Nolan." Molly began to cry as Lissa's volume increased.

Stunned, Nolan stepped back quickly and picked up the baby. Unable to speak, Nolan's mouth fell open. Touching his throat, he forced out, "I… I wasn't going to hurt you, Babe."

"I know," Lissa responded in a guarded tone as she wrapped her arms around herself. "I'm… umm…" she turned away from him but continued speaking, "I know you probably… uh… take care of yourself sometimes, but I'm still kind of processing what I saw. I'm sorry."

"F#$k – you're flipping out about the shower? I have needs, Babe, and if you're unwilling to accommodate that…" Nolan growled defensively. He swayed back and forth soothing Molly, feeling thoroughly awkward to be holding her as he and Lissa discussed the current subject.

Shuddering and remaining turned away, Lissa interrupted as she held up a hand, "No. No, Nolan. The last thing I want to do is talk about _that._ "

"I shouldn't be surprised," Nolan complained. "If you don't want anything to do with me in bed, why would you want to talk about sex?"

Lissa leaned toward the sink, feeling overwhelmed and frenzied. She turned off the water and rested her head on the faucet, "That's hurtful, Nolan."

With a scoff, Nolan spouted, "Hurtful? Larissa… I'll tell you what's hurtful: having your spouse avoid kissing you and touching you. Bring it on, Larissa. What did I do? Why are you repulsed by me?"

Crying, Lissa muttered through tears, "Stop it, Nolan."

"Stop what? Naming the truth? Trying to figure out why you dread the idea of having sex with me?" he snapped, not fully aware of how much his words pained her.

Resting her forearms on the countertop, Lissa stared out the window and attempted to sort out what was happening. With a shaking voice, she disclosed, "I'm exhausted, Nolan. Molly pulls at my body all day wanting to be held, grabbing my ears, and sticking her hand down my shirt like my boob is her blanky. At the end of the day, I want my body to myself."

"What about me, Liss? Remember me? The guy you've loved and held and kissed for over ten years? I'm still here," he protested, his pain and abandonment rising to the surface.

"I'm trying, Nolan. There's no me left for me anymore. I need time to accommodate all the changes," Lissa admitted.

Placing Molly back in her bouncy seat and handing her a few toys, Nolan shook his head. "I'm not sure what to do, Liss. I'm confused about what's really going on here."

Turning around, Lissa leaned against the counter and breathed quickly, hoping not to cry. Unable to prevent the tears, she clutched a nearby orange as if it were a comfort item. Weeping, she spiraled, "Why did you tell your brother we need a Lynne? You don't have faith in me, do you? I'm just a loser Mom who can't handle it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing and you can tell. We've had Molly home for less than a week and I can't keep her healthy. And now I'm such a crappy wife that my husband has to… well, you know."

"Woah… woah… woah," Nolan stated slowly as he realized the gravity of Lissa's distress. Leaning down to be eye-to-eye, he challenged lightly, "Is that really what you think?"

In response, she blubbered, "I'm trained to handle a whole classroom of kids, and I can't even handle one baby. What the hell is wrong with me?"

With his hands in front of his chest, he stepped toward his wife. He sought to confirm, "Can I hold you?" She nodded as she sniffled. Wrapping his arms around her, he leaned her head against his chest and stood still as she sobbed. Caressing the back of her head as he shushed her, Nolan tried to process what was happening to his wife.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Wait, wait, wait!" Owen sounded as he slowed down a resident rushing to treat a patient.

"But she needs a chest tube, sir," the resident explained with panic.

"Take a deep breath," Owen advised. "And another… Now, think through your steps."

The resident palpated the patient until she reached the 5th intercostal space. Glancing at Owen, who nodded, she proceeded to place the tube.

"Good," Owen affirmed. "You originally headed for the 3rd intercostal. Look that up and we'll talk later about what would have happened if you'd proceeded."

With relief, the resident nodded as Owen stepped out and checked the next curtain. He saw Jane O'Leary's beautiful red hair flowing onto the back of her med coat as she sat on a stool and worked with a patient. "O'Leary, what's up?" he inquired.

Pausing from her suturing, O'Leary turned and introduced the patient to Owen. "Mr. Cullen, this is our Chief of Surgery, Dr. Hunt."

"Oh my…" the aging Mr. Cullen chuckled. "I thought I just needed a few stitches on my arm."

"That's it, Mr. Cullen. No worries," Owen smiled. He bent down to watch O'Leary's technique and questioned, "Let me in on your plan, O'Leary."

"Interrupted sutures, Doctor. Provides greater tensile strength and the ability to make adjustments as needed," Jane explained.

"Drawbacks?" Owen continued.

"Time and crosshatching. Crosshatching can be minimized with prompt removal," she detailed.

"Different plan if it were a facial lac?" he quizzed.

"Yes, sir," O'Leary tried to buy time.

"And what would that be?" Owen nudged after a brief silence.

"Pulley?" she guessed.

He extended his hand to Mr. Cullen and urged O'Leary with a grin, "Nice work. Come see me when you're finished."

Owen moved on to the next patient and then the next. An hour later, after making his way to the nurse's station, he weighed in on a discussion between two doctors about which tests to run. The debate turned into a series of jokes and hassling. In the periphery, O'Leary lingered and waited for Owen to be available. One of the doctors motioned to the intern and pointed her out to Owen.

"O'Leary…" Owen uttered after glancing over his shoulder. "What can I do for you?"

"You wanted to see me? About Mr. Cullen's sutures," she reminded him.

Owen nodded and confirmed as he grabbed a banana and an orange sitting on the desk, "Right. Let's… umm… follow me." He led the intern to a seldom used exam room and set out a handful of suture kits. "It's a slow time right now," he commented.

"Yes, sir," O'Leary swallowed, unsure where Owen was heading.

He set the fruit on a tray that sat atop a small wheeled frame. Then he rummaged through a drawer for a 10 blade. "Have you ever made a cut on a live human?"

"No," she scoffed with embarrassment and intrigue.

"Try this," he suggested as he flipped the blade over and handed it to her handle first. Then he motioned toward the banana. "See the brown spots? Imagine those are thinning skin on an elderly patient. I wasn't very nice – should have grabbed a firm one for your first time."

 _Is he flirting with me or teaching me?_ Jane wondered _Or both?_ Attempting to keep her focus on the blade, she set it on the banana. Before she made a cut, Owen stopped her.

He came around her from behind and put his hand over hers, instructing, "Try this angle and move… your… wrist… like… this. It seems awkward at first." He removed his hand and studied hers up close, "There you go. Good. Now, set the point of the blade where you intend to begin. Go in slowly and steadily, stopping when you feel a small give in the tension."

Jane popped the blade in and did not stop in time. Instead, she stabbed the banana deeply. Blushing, she removed the scalpel and commented, "A little too much."

"Enthusiasm is a good thing," Owen chuckled. He reached for the scalpel and advised as he cut, "Watch me. You check your grip and angle. Then, very slowly, poke and slide like this. I think last time, you just poked. You don't want to ram it in. Gently poke the very tip and let the rest slide in. You try it." Again, Jane tried to hear the words in a medical frame of mind.

Her hands shook as she grasped the scalpel.

"Wait to cut until you're steady. It's common to be a little uneasy at first, but you'll find it relaxing and invigorating after you relax into it," he smile.

Determined to maintain a steady hand, O'Leary followed Owen's unambiguous instructions and successfully cut a two inch incision. "Woah! I did it!" she celebrated.

"You did," Owen smiled. "Turn the banana and try again."

She successfully cut twice more before stating, "I'm running out of banana."

"Never, ever a good thing," Owen chuckled. "Let's move on to that stitch. You guessed a pulley for a facial lac," he recalled with a doubtful look on his face.

"I guessed," she admitted.

"I hope so. A pulley," he explained as he sutured rapidly, "works like this. It's used so the wound edges can be stretched. It usually accompanies other sutures for additional strength."

"Not so wise for a facial lac," O'Leary noted as she cleared her throat.

"Not so much," Owen nodded. "A half-buried vertical mattress suture is what you're looking for." He began to display it and explained, "Now imagine a line that bisects the tissue…"

"Hunt?" Derek snapped as he swung the door open. He quickly glanced at O'Leary and back at Owen. "Incoming MVA."

"Right behind you," Owen called out. As he stood, he informed O'Leary, "Leave all that and follow me."

When they approached the shelves where the trauma robes were stored, Derek had just finished tying his. Owen handed one to the intern and threw one on himself. Bumping into his brother-in-law accidentally on-purpose, Derek warned, "Keep clear."

"Excuse me?" Owen disputed. Turning to O'Leary, he advised, "Meet me in Trauma 2."

When he reached the ambulance bay, Owen challenged with bravado, "What was that about?"

"I'm not sure I can speak with you right now and then work with you when the patient arrives," Derek stated as he pressed his lips together and looked away.

"What's your problem, Shepherd? You have an issue with me?" Owen barked as he turned and forced Derek to face him.

"Keep away from the smitten interns, Owen," Derek snapped. "We've all been there. We all recognize it when we see it."

Placing his hands on his hips, Owen narrowed his eyes and questioned, "Are you accusing me of something?"

"I saw you teaching an intern a suture way beyond her abilities," Derek stated plainly.

"So," Owen argued.

"So you're married to my sister," Derek yelled with intensity.

"Being married to Mia means I can't teach my students? Go to hell, Derek," Owen barked as he shoved Derek's shoulder as he ran past him to open the ambulance door.

The surgeons called out orders as they wheeled the gurney inside. When they entered the trauma room, Derek scoffed, "What's she doing in here?"

"She's my intern. Deal with it, Shepherd. O'Leary? Run to the blood bank and grab six more units of O-neg," Owen directed.

"Pupils are reactive. Let's get a head CT," Derek called out.

Owen ordered, "Add an abdominal CT – appears to be blood pooling. Intubating."

"I've got it," Derek snapped.

Owen pushed Derek out of the way, "I've got it."

O'Leary entered the room in time to see Owen's maneuver. Derek caught her eye and barked, "Get Kepner in here."

"We don't need Kepner," Owen scoffed.

"O'Leary, get Kepner," Derek repeated. The intern rushed out of the room and returned quickly with April.

"What do you need, Chief?" April inquired as she slid on her stethoscope and surveyed the room.

"I asked for you. Tag Hunt out," Derek insisted.

"Umm…" April glanced over to Owen.

"Fine, I'm out," Owen growled as he threw his gloves on the floor and stormed away.

O'Leary wasn't sure if she should follow her attending or remain in the trauma room. Kepner began asking her for assistance, so O'Leary stayed. When the time came to transport the patient to the OR, O'Leary ran alongside the gurney with Shepherd on the other side. As the two stood in the elevator with the unconscious patient, Derek looked at O'Leary from head to toe.

"Yes?" O'Leary inquired.

"Nothing," Derek growled sharply as he folded his arms.


	42. Chapter 42 - The Key to Life

**Chapter 42**

 **An Imperfect Life – The Key to Life**

 **Sunday, July 26** **th**

"Look who's home!" Owen announced as he entered the house and stopped first to kiss Amelia. He hugged and greeted Carolyn, complimenting the aromas from her cooking. "Here's the bread," Owen mentioned as he emptied the grocery bag.

"Thank you, Owen," Carolyn offered with a quick smile.

Turning to Amelia, Owen inquired, "What time is everyone coming over?"

"Derek is in surgery. He'll be late. Mer and the kids should be here any time," Amelia shared.

Frowning, Owen mumbled, "Surgery…right. Yes, he is." Noting his tone, Amelia made a mental note to ask him about the situation later. In his head, Owen pondered, _Surgery. Exactly where he belongs…_ Walking over to the living room, Owen stretched out on the couch and hoped for five minutes of down time before the Grey Shepherd's arrived. He closed his eyes but listened to the dinner preparations and sounds of his family as he rested.

The doorbell rang ten minutes later and Zola let herself in. Meredith, Bailey, and Ellis entered the house behind her. The kids ran to their grandma as Carolyn warmly greeted them before gently reminding them not to run in the house. When Olivia had heard the door, she came bounding down the stairs to see Zola. Approaching her cousin from behind, Olivia wrapped her in a giant bear hug. The two hadn't seen each other since Olivia's return from Nolan and Lissa's, and Zola insisted on hearing all about LA.

Bailey, 12, had nobody his own age and usually dutifully played with Lucas. Since Ellis and the twins were so close in age, they often formed a trio. "Kids," Amelia informed Derek's two younger kids, "the twins and Lucas are in the play room. Shall we head in there?" Feeling bad for Bailey, Amelia added, "Grandma might be looking for some help if you'd rather hang out with us, Bailey." He opted for the play room. Amelia followed him, wanting to remind the kids not to throw balls or jump on the furniture. Playing warden would give her a minute with her niece and nephew and allow a break from Carolyn. Olivia and Zola had already run up to Olivia's room to chat about Olivia's summer adventures.

Meredith withheld an audible sigh, thinking she was alone with Carolyn. Regardless of how long she'd been married to Derek, Carolyn made Meredith uneasy. She sent a text to Derek, _You'll be here soon?_ His nurse responded promptly, _An hour. Two tops._ Meredith knew that actually meant at least two hours. The time would pass slowly.

"Carolyn, nice to see you," Meredith offered as she approached the kitchen.

"Meredith, hello," Carolyn greeted. "Derek's delayed? Is that what I heard?"

"Another hour or so," Mer explained. "Can I help with anything?"

"No, dear, I have it all handled," Carolyn shooed.

Fumbling for conversation, Meredith slid onto a barstool and commented, "Nolan and Lissa are adopting Molly, I hear."

"Isn't that fantastic?" Carolyn smirked as she briefly looked up from her cooking. "Those poor kids… all those miscarriages."

"Yeah," Mer nodded and gazed out the window, thinking _They run in the family, you know? Do you know? Do you know about my miscarriage when Derek was shot? Or Amelia's miscarriage after Lucas?_

"Penny for your thoughts," Carolyn offered.

"Nothing," Mer grinned slightly. "Family. Thinking about all these kids. It's great they have each other."

"Family is the key to life," Carolyn affirmed, causing Mer's mind to spin in an entirely new direction. Considering her abrupt and intense mother and her bumbling alcoholic father the key to life was a stretch.

Hearing new voices, Owen sat up and rubbed his face as he slipped his shoes on. He jumped up and greeted his sister-in-law. "Meredith, hi."

Coldly, she returned the greeting, "Owen."

"Wine?" he offered.

"Please," Meredith responded without further conversation. He opened a bottle of Merlot and poured a glass, handing it to her.

Suspicious that she was giving him the cold shoulder, Owen made up a reason to get Mer alone. "Can I get your eyes on a scan for an upcoming tumor surgery? The patient started on trauma's caseload, but follow up will move over to general."

"Sure," Mer agreed as she excused herself and followed Owen to his office.

He closed the door behind them and half laughed, "Maybe I'm imagining it, but are you upset with me?"

"Upset? No," Meredith replied. "Concerned? Yes. Is now really the time, though?"

"It depends on your concern, I suppose," Owen shrugged as he leaned against his desk.

"Derek told me," Meredith informed her brother-in-law.

"Told you what?" Owen inquired calmly with inquisitive, gathered eyebrows.

"That he walked in on you and O'Leary," Meredith reported with a factual tone.

"'Walked in' on us? Is that what he said?" Owen sputtered with a hint of a laugh.

Meredith clarified, "You were showing her suture techniques."

"So? She has great potential. We teach our students, Meredith. That's what we do. It's our jobs," Owen replied with growing frustration.

"Were you flirting with her?" Meredith asked flatly.

"No," Owen denied emphatically. "She's what? Half my age?"

"She's an intern," Meredith stated coldly.

With low emotion, Owen responded, "I'm aware of that."

"I'm just saying, Owen, those adoring, doe-eyed interns worship the attendings," Meredith emphasized.

"Like you did, hmm?" Owen pointed out with furrowed brows and a cocked head.

"There you are," Amelia announced as she appeared at the office door. "I was left behind with Mom. C'mon you two."

Owen and Meredith locked their skeptical gazes until Owen swallowed a third of his beer in one drink.

As he walked by his sister-in-law, he declared with a hint of irritation, "No problem. We were done here, Mia."

Meredith smirked uncomfortably and left the office as Amelia studied the ceiling and attempting to make sense of the confusing exchange.

 **Tuesday, July 28** **th**

"You sure you two are managing?" Nolan asked fretfully as he held his phone to his ear. He sat in the Dodge, still parked in the airport parking lot. Deeply concerned with Lissa's persistent mood swings and sense of helplessness, Nolan convinced her to move to Seattle with Molly earlier than originally planned. Even if he wouldn't be there, Lynne and the entire family would support and help Lissa with Molly.

Standing at the window at the gate, Lissa promised, "Nole… we're great."

"Are you sure, Blondie?" Nolan double checked.

With a soft giggle, Lissa bounced Molly in her arms and responded, "Absolutely sure. Honest. Molly's watching the airplanes and we're about to board."

"You'll text right before take off?" Nolan confirmed.

"Promise," Lissa stated. "Are you still in the parking lot, Nolan?"

"Why?" Nolan replied, dodging the question.

"Because I think it's kind of cute that you are so worried. I love you," Lissa replied.

"I love you, too, Babe. Remember, I put the Benedryl in the small inside pocket in the front of the bag. If Mols starts to fuss…" Nolan shared.

"They're calling pre-boarding. I'll call once we get settled in our seats," Lissa promised as Molly babbled in the background.

While Nolan waited for Lissa's call, he called his parents. Carolyn answered the phone and celebrated when she heard Nolan's voice. She, Lucas, and the twins were playing a card game while Olivia read a book. Amelia and Owen were at the hospital and planned to pick up Lissa and Molly at the airport.

"Sorry, Sweetheart, they're at the hospital," Carolyn disclosed. "Can I help?"

"I wanted to confirm the flight details. That's all," Nolan tried to sound thoroughly relaxed.

Carolyn grinned, "They have the details. Don't worry, Nolan, we'll take great care of your girls. You finish up everything in LA and we'll see you soon." After Carolyn shared a few stories about the Littles and asked about his internship, the two ended their call.

Nolan tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for Lissa's call from inside the plane. He leaned his head on the drivers' seat headrest and closed his eyes. His knee moved up and down slightly. _How long does it take to go from the gate to the plane door to first class seating?_ he wondered impatiently.

He nearly dropped his phone when it rang, quickly and eagerly answering, "Liss?"

"We're in our seats," she informed him. "Molly's going to have a bottle when we start to taxi and the flight attendants are all waiting to have a turn holding her."

"I was starting to worry," he stated plainly. "And you… you feel steady? You're ok being with her alone?"

"I am," Lissa replied, not wanting to repeat any of his words since other passengers were nearby. "I don't want you to worry, Trems, ok?"

He assured her, "Deal. I wish I could go with you. I'll miss you."

"Hurry to Seattle just as soon as you can," Lissa urged. They exchanged closing words and promises to call and text. Nolan double checked the inside pocket of his jacket to reassure himself that the Power of Attorney paperwork was in his possession. It would allow him to sign on Lissa's behalf for the house sale. Lissa held a similar document, one that turned over signing powers regarding the adoption. Rather than naming Lissa to sign on his behalf, though, he had appointed Owen. When Lissa found out, she shook her head and blew it off. Nolan and his traditional ways were simply a reality in their marriage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Meanwhile, the interns at the hospital kicked back in the locker room.

"Could I pleeeeassee trade attendings with you?" Diego Reyes begged Jane. He had been following Karev and was utterly exhausted.

Laughing, O'Leary sputtered, "And give up Hunt? For _Karev_? Do you think I'm nuts? No way."

Ando piped in, "You two are so cute with your red hair."

Tom, the large towering intern, warned, "He's married Ando."

"I'm just saying they look good together. I didn't say she should try to make a move or anything. Geez," she spouted back as she threw a scrub top at Tom.

Overthrowing, the top flew past Tom and toward the door, hitting Owen just as he opened the door. He smirked, caught the top and quipped, "Thanks, but I prefer the darker blue ones." He threw the top at Diego and informed him, "I'm moving you to my service today, Reyes." O'Leary's heart sunk, dreading that she would be with Karev. "O'Leary – you're with girl Shepherd."

"Umm… I've been with Dr. Shepherd. Am I changing too?" Ando asked.

Shaking his head and resting his hand on his hair, Owen mumbled, "Right. Uh… Ando stay with Shepherd. O'Leary, let's do a straight trade. You're with Karev." Trying not to appear deflated, Jane sighed internally. Karev scared her. He could be so abrupt.

As the interns all went to find their attendings, Owen pulled O'Leary aside and told her, "Let me know if Karev hassles you." Fully intending to not do so, Jane nodded and left the room. Owen and Reyes headed to the ER where Reyes was assigned sutures and scut. Taking advantage of the slow time, Owen went to his office to attempt to tackle the paperwork taking over his desk. On his way upstairs, he received a page from O'Leary. When he called her, he discovered that Karev was out for the day. Not sure what to do with her, Owen asked O'Leary to meet him at his office.

Often, when Owen would arrive at his office, at least one or two people would be hovering and hoping to catch him. In this instance, Derek, Patricia, and Jane were all nearby. As he approached, he made eye contact with Patricia and nodded as he unlocked and entered his office. She updated him on various matters, set down a few papers he needed to sign, and left an envelope with lab results.

In the hallway, Derek attempted to make small talk with the intern who was shifting her gaze from the floor to the ceiling. "How's the first month going?"

Jane grinned, "It's going well. I'm still standing."

"It gets easier," Derek assured her. "Well, you become more familiar with the routines and processes, then you're entrusted with more and the cycle keeps going."

"Shep, what's up?" Owen inquired as he stepped into the hallway.

Derek offered half a nod to O'Leary and walked in to Owen's office. He grabbed the Nerf basketball and attempted a shot, but missed.

"Ah… that means the answer is no," Owen joked.

"What's the question?" Derek inquired.

"You tell me. What can I do for you? What brings you by?" Owen clarified.

"Right," Derek replied. "I have a surgery in an hour with three separate aneurysms. I have my resident, but I need an extra set of hands."

Surveying his paperwork as he answered Derek without making eye contact, "Take O'Leary. She needs an assignment today."

"I was hoping for someone… umm… with more than three weeks experience," Derek declared.

Owen looked up and grimaced, "What's she going to be doing? Holding a retractor? Suction? She can handle it. She is excellent at sustaining focus and has very steady hands." He shrugged and went back to the paperwork.

Lowering his brow, Derek pressed his lips together and considered whether or not to say what he was thinking. How did Owen already have a sense of the intern's skills?

Raising his chin, Owen peered at his brother-in-law and questioned, "Problem? She's the only free set of hands I've got right now. It's O'Leary or nobody."

"She's fine…" Derek said with a hint of distraction. Deciding to lightly challenge Owen, Derek asked, "How do you know she can handle it? Has she already assisted in a surgery as an intern? In her first three weeks?"

"Derek, I'm swamped," Owen sighed as he picked up the phone. "Can we play 20 Questions later?"

As he headed out the door, Derek informed O'Leary she'd be assisting him in surgery. He walked at a brisk pace and smothered her with questions and orders. Did she know how to scrub in? Had she been in an OR yet? Explain how to hold a retractor. How do you maintain the proper amount of suction?

O'Leary stopped walking, but Derek continued. He was unaware she had stopped. Attempting to catch her breath, O'Leary called to Derek, "Dr. Shepherd."

He slowed and turned, ordering, "Let's go, O'Leary. You have a lot to learn in the next hour. What's the problem?"

"You have a lightning fast stride, Doctor," she stated breathlessly.

Derek stood in the hallway, impatiently watching the intern catch her breath. Within 15 seconds, she slowly jogged to him.

"Surgery moves fast, O'Leary. You need to keep up," Derek informed her flatly as he secretly slowed his pace. He paused at the nurses' station and reviewed his patient's chart. O'Leary stood beside him, appearing to be lost and unsure what to do.

"Did you find more hands?" Amelia inquired as she placed a chart on the desk. Wearing her surgical gown and cap, Amelia had just scrubbed out of a procedure. Derek, engrossed in his patient's chart, did not respond.

"Derek?" Amelia whistled. "Yo."

"What?" he responded impatiently, recognizing his sister's voice.

"Ok then," Amelia quipped as she raised her hands in front of her chest. "My next surgery cancelled. I was going to offer my hands if you needed them."

"Seriously?" Derek smiled. "Amy, that would be amazing." O'Leary stood nearby awkwardly.

"I've got an hour before I need to leave to pick up Lissa and Molly. One. Hour," Amelia stated clearly as she held up a finger with insistence.

Turning toward O'Leary, Derek instructed, "I want you to watch Dr. Shepherd for the first hour and take her place when she needs to leave." O'Leary nodded and followed the surgeons to the OR.

While Derek tackled the largest and most risky aneurysm, he instructed his resident to isolate the second abnormality. Too close to his work area, the second spot would need to wait to be touched. Amelia, able to operate, worked on the third spot that was far enough away from Derek's field to safely address. Had O'Leary been there instead, Derek would have asked her to simply observe the spot and be ready to suction his field as needed.

"Derek, I have a black spot. 4-5 mm," Amelia commented with a voice of concern.

Leaning over, Derek peered at the third aneurysm. "What is that? It's dark – a clot maybe."

"Close your field. This isn't good," Amelia shook her head.

Without taking his eyes off his field, he reassured his sister, "It's a congenital abnormality, Amy. It's nothing."

"I disagree. We need to focus on this," Amelia insisted with apprehension.

Derek glanced over at his sister, "We're not going to be able to focus on anything if the spot I'm operating on ruptures and kills the patient. Give me ten minutes. The clot isn't going to self-destruct or metastasize in ten minutes."

"Mia?" Owen buzzed from above. "You're picking up Lissa?"

"Damn," Amelia caught Owen's eye. "We just found an abnormality. It'll take both of us to address it. Can you go?"

Owen exhaled, "The other attendings in the ER need breaks. In five minutes, I'll the only attending down there."

"O'Leary, I have a new job for you," Amelia instructed. "Take my phone and call Lissa. She's probably still in the air, so you'll have to leave a voicemail. Let her know we're stuck here and ask her to take a taxi over."

O'Leary, internally disappointed to be a personal assistant rather than a medical intern, nodded and found Lissa's number. She left a message and supplied her own cell number as well.

Amelia smirked under her mask and ordered, "Go ahead and scrub out. It's on you to make sure she and the baby arrive here safely."

"Yes, ma'am," O'Leary acknowledged with disappointment. She scrubbed out and threw her robe and cap into the laundry. While she was waiting for Lissa to call, O'Leary sat in the gallery and observed the sibling neurosurgeons at work.

Ten minutes later, O'Leary's phone rang. Lissa was on the phone and not particularly happy. Molly cried in the background and Lissa's voice ranged from aggravated to panicked. She explained that she had more suitcases than she could manage and an upset baby.

"I don't mean to take this out on you, but I _need_ someone to pick me up here as soon as possible," Lissa urged. "It's really not an option."

O'Leary buzzed the OR and informed Amelia of the predicament. Deep at work on the black spot, Amelia snapped, "You'll need to solve that yourself, O'Leary. Find Dr. Hunt, drive out there yourself, whatever. Just fix it."

After paging Owen and learning he was in the midst of a trauma, she ran down to the ER and picked up his keys. The nurse who had informed Owen about the situation when O'Leary called down was able to orchestrate that much.

When O'Leary picked up the keys, she mused to the nurse, "So now I'm picking up the Chief's flipped out daughter-in-law and crying granddaughter in his car."

"They didn't teach you about that in med school, huh?" the nurse teased.


	43. Chapter 43 - Puzzling Events

**Chapter 43**

 **An Imperfect Life – Puzzling Events**

 **Tuesday, July 28** **th**

"They're not here," Lissa replied to Nolan's question as the chaos of airport announcements and people were heard in the background.

"What do you mean?" Nolan asked, perturbed.

Lissa explained, "Some intern called me and said Amma ended up in a major surgery. Then she told me to take a taxi and I insisted she find another option."

"Dammit," Nolan stewed. "What's Molly need? Why's she crying?"

"I don't know," Lissa fretted. "She's not hungry or sleepy, just crabby. She takes her paci and then spits it out with a sour expression."

"Look for an airline employee, Liss. Maybe they could at least pull the luggage off the conveyor and set it aside for you," Nolan advised.

"Good idea," Lissa responded, feeling overwhelmed and on the edge of tears.

"Blondie… honey, you'll be ok. Deep breath, you'll be ok," Nolan tried to reassure her from afar.

"Stop – that'll just make me cry, Nole," Lissa admitted.

"Ma'am? Is there anything I can do to help?" an employee from the nearby car rental counter inquired. He'd been watching Lissa with concern for a few minutes and couldn't simply stand by.

"Nole, I'll call you back," Lissa promised. The rental agent brought over a cart and loaded up the luggage. Then he led Lissa and a fussing Molly behind the counter to an employee lounge and brought Lissa some water.

"You are truly a saint," Lissa sighed with a weak, desperate smile. "Thank you so much."

"No problem, really. I felt for you. Looked like you had your hands full," the man shared.

Lissa attempted to reach O'Leary, who didn't answer her phone because she was driving. Frustrated, Lissa stewed and hung up without leaving a message. When the agent came back to check on his guests, he suggested Lissa could rent a car. He promised to load up her bags for her and waive the customary minimum age requirement.

With Molly finally wearing herself out and falling asleep, Lissa drove toward the Lake House. She was emotionally exhausted and shaky. If she'd called Nolan first, he probably would have told her he didn't want her driving. Hunching that Nolan would fuss and attempt to deal with the situation from LA, Lissa proceeded on her own. She simply wanted to leave the airport, get away from the crowds, and be home. Her phone, out of battery, turned off without her knowledge. Sitting in traffic, Lissa attempted to focus on her driving and not her panic or anger.

Meanwhile, O'Leary balanced rushing to the airport with carefully driving the Chief's brand new SUV. Her phone, on the seat next to her, rang off the hook and beeped notifications. The sounds were stressful, but O'Leary wasn't about to answer her phone while driving. When she reached the airport, O'Leary saw Lissa's number but had no voicemails from her. She repeatedly tried the number, only to end up in voicemail herself. She had Lissa paged at the airport and scoured the baggage area for a young mother with a baby. With each passing moment, O'Leary became more concerned. Attempting to find Lissa and Molly at SeaTac was a losing effort. Even so, O'Leary really didn't want to call Owen or Amelia to inform them of the situation. After grabbing a coffee and collecting her thoughts, O'Leary decided to face the music and return to the hospital.

Arriving in the Main Lobby, O'Leary spotted Amelia laughing with Arizona at the coffee cart. She happened to glance over and catch O'Leary's eye. Her smile filled her face as she anticipated seeing Lissa and Molly. By the time she reached O'Leary, her lowered brows and narrowed eyes communicated her concern.

"Where are they?" Amelia questioned with apprehension.

"Dr. Shepherd, I tried to find them. I searched baggage claim and the waiting area outside. I had her paged…" O'Leary detailed.

"Did you call her?" Amelia snapped with impatience.

"Yes, ma'am. No answer. I left voicemails," O'Leary explained.

Owen approached and put his hand on the small of Amelia's back just as Amelia grumbled, "You're telling me you lost my daughter and granddaughter."

"What?" Owen followed calmly.

"Dr. Shepherd, really, I… I tried…" O'Leary sputtered anxiously.

"Not hard enough, apparently. Fix this, O'Leary," Amelia ordered as she glanced up at Owen with pursed lips. Sipping her coffee and stepping away, Amelia headed up the main stairs unsure of a destination but knowing she needed to leave the scene.

"I'm sorry. She's worried," Owen grimaced at O'Leary who had tears gathering in her eyes and was trying mightily to keep them from falling.

"Dr. Hunt, she _wasn't_ there. I called, I had her paged, I walked all over the airport searching for a woman pushing a stroller," O'Leary summarized.

"Lissa's an intelligent grown woman. I'm sure this is just a mix up," Owen reassured the worried intern as she handed him his keys. He patted her shoulder and offered, "This will all be sorted out. It's not your fault."

With a tear slipping down her cheek, O'Leary eeked out, "Thank you, sir. I am so sorry."

"Hey…" Owen comforted the upset young doctor. Hugging her, he whispered, "Really. Don't worry about my wife. Why don't you head home? Take the rest of the day off. Searching for Hunt family members is more than anyone should have to stress about."

Being in the Main Lobby and offering a hug, Owen unknowingly made himself gossip fodder. Suddenly, whispers about O'Leary borrowing the Chief's car and about the tender embrace spread like wildfire around the hospital.

Meanwhile, Amelia called Lissa's cell repeatedly and eventually called Carolyn in desperation.

"Mom, I don't know what to do," Amelia began as Carolyn answered the home phone.

"And you're asking me for insight? This must be serious, Amelia," Carolyn quipped, only further aggravating her daughter.

"Owen and I sent an intern to pick up Lissa and she couldn't find her," Amelia shared.

"I've found her. She's right here and my great-granddaughter is in my arms," Carolyn stated plainly. "Lissa rented a car and drove over. Now explain to me why you sent an intern to pick her up. She's family, Amelia. She's travelling alone with a baby and you sent a stranger to the airport?"

"Let me talk to her, Mom," Amelia requested firmly, ignoring her mother's criticism.

"I put her to bed. She's napping. The poor girl was overwrought when she arrived," Carolyn described. "Having your family not be where they promised to be is not comforting for a young mother, Amelia. I'm sure Nolan will want to speak to you once he finds out, too."

"Mom, really, I don't need your commentary right now. Ask Derek – I was busy discovering an aneurysm patient's brain cancer," Amelia stated defensively.

"Watch your tone, Miss," Carolyn warned as if Amelia were twelve.

"I'm being paged," Amelia lied. "Have Lissa call me when she wakes up." Amelia hung up and leaned against the wall. She rested the top of her head against the cold tile and closed her eyes.

"Hey," Owen offered softly as he approached his wife.

Without moving or opening her eyes, Amelia inquired, "Did you kill the intern?"

Chuckling, Owen leaned his side along the wall. "No, Mia. I prefer to save lives. She feels horrible. Poor thing."

"Poor thing? Owen," Amelia insisted as she opened her eyes and drew closer to her husband. "She lost Lissa and Molly. How can she be trusted to perform surgery if she can't pick someone up at the airport?"

"You're not being fair," Owen stated plainly as he lowered his chin and gazed at Amelia. "For all we know," he began as his phone vibrated and reached into his pocket, "Lissa did something to cause all this confusion."

Answering the phone, Owen fixed his gaze on Amelia as he spoke, "Nolan."

"Where's my wife and daughter, Dad? I keep trying to call her and she's not answering. Lissa never ignores my calls," Nolan rambled.

Not having learned about Lissa's arrival at the Lake House, Owen reassured his son, "We're sorting that out, Nolan. It sounds like there was a minor mix up at the airport."

Amelia grasped the phone and informed her son, "Nolan, she's at the house and resting. Grandma is holding and admiring Molly."

"Oh, thank God. Last I knew, Liss was desperate for help at baggage claim and sounded like she was about to fall apart," Nolan sighed with relief.

"I'm sure she was handling everything without a problem, Nolan," Amelia prodded.

A blank silence hung on the line momentarily until Nolan gained the courage to confess, "Mom, she's been a wreck. Emotional, wound tight, up in the middle of the night and asleep during the day. The house is a constant mess. I'm not sure who she is – she's not my Lissa anymore."

"Nolan…" Amelia pressed. Nolan's description of his plight entertained her. It sounded as if the couple was facing the transition into parenthood. Amelia had no doubt that everything would soon smooth over.

"I'm not overstating this, Mom," Nolan insisted. "I'm relieved that they're home and safe. Have Liss call me, ok?"

After assuring Nolan she would do so, Amelia ended the call and handed Owen's phone back to him. She asked him if he was ready to go home. Agreeing, Owen pecked her on the cheek and promised to meet her at home.

Half an hour later, Owen moved the driver's seat further back and pulled out of the parking lot. Assuming the purse on the passenger seat belonged to Olivia or Amelia, he didn't give it a second thought.

When he pulled into the garage a few minutes later, Amelia was already up in Nolan's old room speaking with Lissa. She'd gone to check on her and found her awake and gazing around the room.

"Hey, Lissa!" Amelia celebrated as she hurried over and wrapped Lissa in a hug. "I have missed you."

Without much energy, Lissa leaned into Amelia's arms and sighed, "Hi, Amma. Is Molly ok downstairs?"

"Are you kidding?" Amelia laughed softly. "She is surrounded by admirers, laughing at Lucas' antics, and babbling non-stop.

"Good," she said listlessly.

Leaning back, Amelia studied Lissa's appearance and noticed how tired and pale she seemed. "How are you, honey?"

With a mild grin, Lissa lied, "I'm great. Just worn out, tired… it was a big day."

"Did you get enough Carolyn-enforced rest? Let's go chat downstairs," Amelia urged.

"Actually, I could probably go to sleep for the night. If only Molly would cooperate," Lissa pondered aloud.

Amelia took note of Lissa's mood, recalling what Nolan had shared earlier. "If you need to rest, we can take care of Molly."

"I can't ask you to do that," Lissa smirked uncomfortably. "I didn't come up here to pawn my baby off on you guys." Suddenly, Lissa closed her eyes and pulled her lips inside her mouth. She set her hand on Amelia's shoulder, ran out the door and into the bathroom.

After giving her a few minutes, Amelia knocked softly on the bathroom door, "Can I help?"

"I need a hair tie," Lissa stated before throwing up again.

Amelia strode down to the girls' bathroom, wet a washcloth, and grabbed a hair tie. Letting herself in, she reached the washcloth around to the front of Lissa's face. Then she gathered up Lissa's hair and tied it back. "I'm sorry you're sick. Did you eat something funky?"

"No," she groaned as she leaned against the bathroom cabinet. "I haven't had much of an appetite. Maybe I caught a bug."

"I'm going to have Mom swap rooms with you so you have your own bathroom," Amelia informed her. "Can I do anything else?"

Lissa shook her head, "I just want to lie down."

"Go in the guest room. I'll have Livie help me move your things. Owen and I will keep Molly in our room tonight," Amelia sorted out.

"I love you, Amma," Lissa offered weakly as she gathered the energy to stand up and drag her body down the hall.

Stepping into Nolan's old room, Amelia gathered Lissa's purse and suitcase. When she reached Lissa, who was now in the guest bathroom, Amelia mentioned, "Nolan was hoping you'd call him. Do you want me to call him for you?"

"No. I'll do it," Lissa said from the next room. "Can you bring me my purse?" Amelia brought it and handed it to Lissa. Lissa dug into the giant bag and grasped her phone, mumbling, "It's dead." She reached into her purse again and pulled out a charger, which she handed to Amelia. After plugging in the charger, Amelia slipped out and moved some of Carolyn's items to the other room. Then she went downstairs and let Carolyn know she'd be relocated.

"Is she pregnant?" Carolyn whispered to Amelia.

"I doubt it, Mom. I mean, they just adopted Molly – you'd think they'd be taking precautions," Amelia shrugged as she answered with a soft voice.

"One would think, but you know how many babies have been conceived unintentionally?" Carolyn reasoned. "Maybe you should buy her a test."

"She'll let me know if she needs a pregnancy test. She's 22," Amelia scoffed. "I bet she has a virus. It'll pass."

"I'm going to make her some soup, the poor girl," Carolyn declared as she headed into the kitchen.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Lissa lay on the cold tile floor as she spoke to Nolan.

"Baby…what do you mean you're sick?" Nolan sympathized.

"I've been barfing for at least half an hour," she whined. "Now I'm even more tired than I was. I can barely stand up."

"Blondie, this isn't right. We've barely left the house since we returned to LA. How could you have caught something?" Nolan attempted to figure out.

"I dunno," she moaned. "Maybe I caught it on my way here."

"That'd be the shortest incubation period I've ever heard of," Nolan chuckled. "What did you eat today?"

"Don't even mention food. It makes my stomach turn," she urged.

With a lump in his throat, Nolan inquired with hesitation, "Any other symptoms?"

"Tired, achy, crabby," Lissa listed sleepily.

"Are you late?" Nolan asked, then bit his bottom lip as he awaited an answer.

"Umm… I don't think so," Lissa reported. She never kept track of her cycle and that drove Nolan nuts. When she found out once that he was tracking it, she went ballistic and made him promise to stop and never do it again.

Nolan cleared his throat; he was frustrated but not surprised. "Maybe you should take a test," he suggested.

"It's just the flu, Trems," Lissa assured him as she dismissed his theory.

"Sure?" he stressed. "Can you take a test, just to shut me up? Please? Then call me and let me know."

"After I take a nap," Lissa promised. She crawled to the bed, barely standing to slip onto it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

At dinner, Owen encouraged everyone to eat while he held and fed his beloved Molly. The two locked eyes as he swayed and stepped back and forth gently. Molly finished her bottle just as the kids began clearing the dishes. Encouraging Owen to eat, Amelia took Molly into her arms and patted her back.

Amelia mumbled to Owen that Lissa was sick. He leaned close to her ear and inquired, "Is she pregnant?"

"Question of the day," Amelia announced as she squiggled her mouth.

"So…" Owen nudged with anticipation, as if Amelia could secretly discover the truth. Amelia widened her eyes and raised her eyebrows which prompted Owen to inquire, "Can't you… I dunno… just give her a test?"

Chuckling, Amelia quipped, "Sure, because I have a stockpile of home pregnancy tests in the garage right by the Costco-sized condiments and boxes of granola bars."

Lifting his shoulders, he stumbled, "I don't know if you keep those on hand."

Amelia leaned over to him and kissed his cheek, "I'll go talk to her. She probably wants to see Molly anyway."

After finishing his dinner, Owen checked on the kids and their progress on chores. Once dishes were washed, he and Lucas sat down to work on a model airplane they were building together. Lucas wanted to finish it before Ryder returned and surprise him with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Hey, Mama," Amelia knocked and slowly opened the guest room door. "There's an adorable little girl hoping to see her mommy."

Lissa, who was sitting up in bed with her back against the headboard, set down the magazine she was reading and reached out. Molly beamed and babbled as she reached for her mommy. "Have you been keeping everyone busy, Miss Molly?" Lissa inquired.

Watching the girls melted Amelia's heart. Stroking Molly's fine hair, she asked, "How's the Mommy transition?"

"Hard," Lissa smiled. "Tiring. Amazing. Full of love."

"Sounds about right," Amelia smirked. "Nolan's helping out?"

"When he's home," Lissa disclosed. "It's hard being alone for twelve or more hours a day, but that's the deal I agreed to take. He's been working around the clock. He leaves early in the morning and usually doesn't come home until around seven or eight. When he's with us, he is amazing with her. He pesters me constantly about hiring someone to help, but I think that's ridiculous."

"Maybe you could get some help when you move to England. Just because you're a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean you can't have or don't need help, Lissa," Amelia suggested.

"It feels so snobby rich to hire someone to help when I'm capable of running the house myself, Amma," Lissa declared, using the same argument she'd often mentioned to Nolan.

"Still," Amelia smiled as she leaned against the wall and stretched her legs out along the narrow part of the bed. "I would have never survived without Lynne. You two can afford it. Let Nolan win this round."

With a suspicious grin, Lissa pressed, "Did he put you up to this?"

"Honestly, he did not," Amelia assured her. "But I've been a new mom and I've been a woman learning how to be a mom. I hate seeing you so frazzled."

"Is it that obvious?" Lissa laughed.

"You're doing great, but anyone who's been there knows how heavy the load can be," Amelia described.

With a loud exhale, Lissa looked at Amelia. She muttered, "Amma?"

"What?" Amelia responded with concern.

"I think I'm pregnant," she confessed with concern and fear.

Amelia couldn't contain her smile. "Should we go buy a test?"

Leaning her head toward one shoulder, Lissa grimaced and replied, "I guess."

The two entrusted Molly to Carolyn and sped off on their errand. Twenty minutes later, they returned and Lissa used the test. She nearly had to shoo Amelia out of the room. Together, the two sat on the guest bed and gazed around the room. Three minutes seemed like eternity as the two glanced at their watches and at one another.

"Time," Amelia declared. "How do you want to do this?"

"I'll go see," Lissa decided. "You know… this was almost the same scene when Nolan and I found out we were pregnant with Karina only he was here and you weren't."

"Go… go look," Amelia urged. There would be time for nostalgic recollections later.

"What would my due date be if I am pregnant?" Lissa questioned as she tentatively stepped toward the bathroom.

Whipping out her phone, Amelia quickly learned the answer, "Early April."

"Just when we're adopting Molly's sibling," Lissa giggled nervously. She entered the room and slowly collapsed onto the edge of the tub.

"Well?" Amelia called out.

Lissa took a deep breath and swallowed. "Uhh…" She stood and carried the test into Amelia. "We're going to adopt a baby at the beginning of March and then have a baby a month later." Lissa stood frozen and in shock. Repeatedly blinking, she added, "That help you were suggesting? Yeah… good idea."

Amelia jumped up and wrapped her arms around Lissa. "Lissy Lou, this is great news!"

"This is terrifying news, Amma," Lissa responded flatly.

Squeezing Lissa, Amelia reminded her, "You're not alone in this, kiddo. Now I know exactly when I'll be visiting you two in England."


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

 **An Imperfect Life – Shock and Hesitation**

 **Saturday, August 1** **st**

Between the closely guarded secret of Lissa's pregnancy, Nolan's arrival around noon, and Ryder's return later that day, Amelia was unable to focus on charting. She'd begin to dictate details and then her voice would trail off as she imagined all the little babies about to enter the family. When she forced those thoughts out of her mind, she'd become teary as she anticipated Ryder's hug and smartass presence. Then she'd giggle to herself as she pictured Nolan juggling a bevy of babies.

"Hey," Arizona greeted as she entered the room and spotted Amelia dreamily smiling at the wall. "What's got you living on Cloud 9, Smiley?"

"My boys are coming home today," Amelia smiled softly. "The whole family will be together for a month."

"Ha! And in a month, you'll be on the brink of insanity and on the floor begging, 'Save me, Arizona. My house is full of grown and not grown children! Help! Help!' Don't worry, Amelia, I'll be there to save you," Arizona teased.

After laughing, Amelia locked her eyes on her friend and gathered the courage to inquire, "Can I ask you a question?"

Arizona sat down and rolled the chair toward Amelia, "Sure. What's up?"

"Young mom, multiple miscarriages, finds out she's pregnant. What can be done to avoid another loss?" Amelia quizzed.

Arizona pondered aloud, "It all depends on the root causes. If the losses were due to chromosomal abnormalities, the likelihood is that subsequent pregnancies should be fine. Flukey pregnancies happen – more often than you'd think. Hormonal imbalances, if caught early enough, can be treated. Of course, if Mom's anatomy is irregular, chance of loss increases. Then genetic testing brings on an entirely new layer to study. There are many factors. Why?"

"I was chatting with a nurse earlier," Amelia lied. "Her niece…"

"Yeah," Arizona mocked with disbelief as she interrupted. "You're asking for a friend, huh?"

Looking around the room, Amelia admitted, "It's Lissa. She's pregnant. I'm not even sure how many miscarriages she's had. I'm fairly sure the kids stopped telling us about them after the third one."

"Have they undergone genetic testing?" Arizona inquired.

"Results are due any day," Amelia confirmed.

"How about physical work ups? I mean… extensive, detailed exams," Arizona queried.

Amelia grimaced, "Not to my knowledge, but they don't tell us everything."

"I can squeeze her in this afternoon at the end of my shift. How about 2:30? We can sit down and discuss test options, possible next steps, that kind of thing," Arizona offered. "I have a two hour opening on Monday – I could start work ups then."

"You're a peach," Amelia smiled.

With a wink, Arizona stood up to leave. She quipped, "No problem, gramma."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Later that day, Owen, Amelia and the Tremblay Hunts had a joyous family reunion at the airport. As they walked to baggage claim, Nolan held Molly in one arm and placed the other around Lissa's shoulders. The last week had included coordinating the movers, closing on the house sale, and finishing his internship. Eating on the go, sleeping fitfully, and living non-stop was catching up to him.

As they waited for bags, Lissa brushed back his hair and cooed, "You look worn out, Trems."

He nuzzled his face along her cheek and whispered, "You look radiantly pregnant, Blondie."

"Yeah, right," Lissa commented as she rolled her eyes.

"Here," Nolan stated as he handed the baby to Lissa. He stepped to the right and grabbed one of his bags. "Dad, the blue one that looks like this – that's ours too."

"Got it," Owen confirmed as he stepped over to the bag and lifted it of the conveyor.

With a flirty grin, Nolan returned to the conversation with his wife, "I mean it. You do."

"You're funny, Trems. Truly," Lissa responded as she shook her head. Molly reached toward her daddy and patted his cheek. He kissed her hand multiple times, causing the baby to laugh. Peering out the corner of his eye, he spotted another bag and walked over to grab it. Molly fussed as she opened and closed her hand and extended it toward him.

"Listen, Molly Jo, I'm not leaving," Nolan promised as he kissed her cheek and made a funny face.

"I like that," Amelia commented. "Molly Jo."

With a shrug, Nolan disclosed, "It popped out of my mouth out of nowhere. I'm not sure why I called her that."

"That one?" Owen pointed as a familiar bag approached.

"Yeah, that's the last one," Nolan confirmed. He stacked two of the bags together and began to pull them. Amelia and Owen each pulled a bag as well.

As they headed to the car, Amelia pulled Nolan aside. "Listen, Arizona Robbins has some time this afternoon. She's willing to meet with the two of you."

"Why?" Nolan asked with lowered brows.

"She's a Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist," Amelia explained.

"Has Liss even seen a regular OB or doctor yet?" Nolan wondered aloud.

"No," Amelia shook her head. "There's no gentle way to put this, Nole… Arizona may be able to prevent another miscarriage."

Turning pale, Nolan nodded, "Yeah. Ok. Does Lissa know about this?" Amelia shook her head. Nolan sought to clarify details, "What time?"

Later, after Nolan playfully attacked the Littles, greeted Olivia, and bear hugged Carolyn, the Tremblay Hunts began unpacking Nolan's bags. He casually mentioned the possible appointment with Arizona and stressed that Amelia had probably pulled strings for them.

"I guess," Lissa agreed without enthusiasm. "I want to believe we can't have another miscarriage, but it'd probably be wise to go. I'm scared of what we might find out."

"I'll be right there," Nolan reassured her as he cupped his hand under her chin and gazed into her eyes. "This might be the time we find out answers, Babe. Maybe Dr. Robbins will see something none of the other doctors spotted." Slowly and reluctantly, Lissa nodded and forced a slight smile. She buried her head into Nolan's chest and closed her eyes, letting his strong and steady hold comfort her. Before there was time to reconsider the appointment, it was time to leave.

Showing up at the hospital at 2pm, the young couple anxiously waited for Arizona in the Main Lobby. Nolan popped his lips together as he flipped through an outdated Sports Illustrated. Lissa leaned against his arm and dozed.

Arizona approached the couple and welcomed them, "I'm happy this worked out. Shall we head up to my office?" They followed her upstairs, chit chatting along the way about the upcoming move to England and about Molly. When they settled into chairs in front of Arizona's desk, Lissa explained the debacle with the second baby's adoption date and the due date for the baby she carried in her womb.

"That could make life exciting," Arizona commented with a smile. She picked up a file and shared, "I was actually able to locate your genetic testing results. Everything appears stellar. These tests are extensive, and they show absolutely no concerns."

"Then why do I keep miscarrying?" Lissa questioned as her brows gathered toward her nose.

"That's what we're going to discover," Arizona pledged with hope in her voice. "The first step involves studying your medical records, Larissa. I was able to find a file here at the hospital with detailed information about your first miscarriage and the birth of your daughter. Have there been other losses?"

Lissa lowered her head and stared at her lap, glancing briefly at Nolan out of the corner of her eye. He cleared his throat and confirmed, "This is just between the three of us, right? It won't be in a record my well-meaning parents can access?"

"I promise," Arizona assured him.

Pursing his lips and looking over at his despondent wife, Nolan cleared his throat. He focused on the corner of Arizona's desk rather than making eye contact and shared with a hoarse voice, "Six. The first was after 16 weeks – it was the longest pregnancy." He looked down at the floor and added, "The other five ranged from early – like 6 or 7 weeks to 14 weeks."

"How many occurred after the 12th week?" she asked gently.

"Including the first, umm…" Nolan paused and scratched his head then wound his hand in front of his mouth, mumbling, "three. One of those was at 12 weeks, 2 days."

Arizona nodded slowly and quietly commented, "That's helpful to know. The two of you have endured a great deal of grief." Nolan nodded without responding verbally. He wrapped his right arm around Lissa firmly and held her hand with his left hand. With tenderness, Arizona declared, "I want this pregnancy to go to term, and I'll do whatever I can to help make that happen."

Over the next hour, Arizona described various tests and procedures that Lissa could undergo. Because she was clearly considered high risk, Arizona basically insisted that she undergo an ultrasound that day. Within minutes, the Tremblay Hunts found themselves in an exam room. Lissa lay on the table in a gown as Nolan tightly grasped her hand and studied the monitor.

"It's far too early to see the baby," Arizona pointed out before beginning. "We can't determine fetal size, but we can see a gestational sac." She maneuvered the transducer around Lissa's lower body and smiled, "There's the sac." She paused and pointed on the screen. When Lissa and Nolan looked, both had tears in their eyes.

As Arizona continued the ultrasound, her brows lowered slightly as the rest of her face remained neutral. Turning her head to re-examine one area, she paused. Studying the screen, then slightly moving the transducer and studying the screen again, she drew her lips into her mouth before sliding her stool back slightly and asking her patient, "Has anyone ever mentioned that you have a septate uterus, Larissa?"

"A what? Umm… no. What is that?" Lissa responded with confusion.

"It is a congenital condition. A thin membrane called a septum falls from the top of the uterus and either partially or fully separates the uterus. It occurs in 1% of women and creates a 90% miscarriage rate," Arizona detailed.

"What can we do about it?" Nolan asked anxiously.

"While Lissa's pregnant, nothing. We can monitor the baby and hope that the septum is flexible as the baby grows. If the egg is implanted on the septum itself, miscarriage is inevitable. In non-pregnant women, an outpatient procedure called a hysteroscopy can be performed in 20-60 minutes. The minor operation excises the tissue. Afterward, the rates for successful pregnancy are high," Arizona added.

Lissa, who ceased hearing Arizona's voice clearly after hearing '90% miscarriage rate,' stared at her exposed belly. Caressing Lissa's head, Nolan asked Arizona, "Does that mean this pregnancy… that we will lose this baby?"

Lowering her chin and looking Nolan directly in the eye, Arizona confirmed, "It's likely. Full term pregnancies do occur, but only rarely. The possibility of carrying to term does exist. It's slim, but there's a small chance." She took a deep breath and continued, "This is overwhelming news. I'd like to suggest that we keep our appointment for Monday. We can discuss the abnormality in greater detail after everything sinks in. Go home, talk to your parents about it, and consider your options."

"What options?" Lissa inquired quietly. "What are our options?"

Licking her lips, Arizona explained, "First, you could choose to terminate and undergo the hysteroscopy. After setting aside some time to heal, you could attempt to become pregnant and would almost certainly be able to carry a baby to term. The second choice would be to wait and see what happens. We would continue to monitor the baby and the septum and hope that the two co-exist until the baby is viable outside the uterus. The highly likely scenario is that the baby would not be carried to term and that we'd perform an emergency C-section the second we discover any concerning abnormalities. If you decide the second option, I'd recommend an MRI. It would give us a clearer picture of the membrane and its size. I want to be honest with you, some doctors discourage MRIs during pregnancy."

Feeling confused, empty, and numb, Nolan and Lissa held hands as they left the hospital.

As he opened the car door for Lissa, Nolan grasped her hands in his and asked, "Do you want me to drive around a little or should we go right home?"9

"Home," Lissa decided. "All I want to do right now is nap and feel your arms around me."

"I like that idea," Nolan affirmed.

After the short drive to the Lake House, Nolan parked the car and led Lissa inside. Owen and Amelia were sitting on the couch talking when the front door opened. They quickly turned their heads and eagerly anticipated an update. Without making eye contact, Lissa proceeded to the stairs. Nolan followed, but looked over his shoulder and slightly shook his head.

Amelia began to stand, but Owen grasped her hand. "Give them time, Mia," he encouraged.

"But…" Amelia sputtered as she sat down and rested her head on Owen's shoulder.

"They'll tell us when they're ready," Owen assured her. "Right now, they only need each other."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Everyone's favorite person is back!" Ryder bellowed as he came through the door at 5:00 pm. The Living Room and kitchen were both empty and the house was eerily quiet. The Lake House, Ryder knew, was _never_ quiet.

Dropping his bags on the entry floor, Ryder headed to the playroom. The Littles, hypnotized by a movie, did not notice their brother standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat and folded his arms as a coy grin appeared on his face.

"Ryder!" Ria exclaimed with joy as she limped over to her big brother. Lucas and Anna raced toward him and reached him before Ria. Lucas attempted to scramble up Ryder's leg and climb him. In response, Ryder placed a hand on top of Lucas' head and kept him at bay. Annabelle temporarily trapped Ryder by wrapping both her legs and arms around his lower legs.

Reaching for Ria with his free hand, Ryder grasped her hand and inquired, "What's the limping about, Mini Mia?"

"My muscles by my ankle are tight. Daddy wants me to see the doctor, Mommy wants to wait a couple days. I'm limping until they figure out what to do," she shrugged. Once Ria was at Ryder's side, he scooped her up and shared an eskimo kiss. Then he whispered in her ear that he'd missed her the most.

Ryder made his way to the ground and began attacking the Littles with varying degrees of tickling and wrestling. After some growling and laughing, he asked, "Where's everyone else?"

"We hid them away forever," Lucas laughed.

Ria smiled and disclosed, "Grandma is resting with the baby, Olivia is in her room. Mommy and Daddy are in their room with Lissa and Nolan." Anna and Lucas ran back to the couch and resumed watching their movie.

"How do you keep track of all that?" Ryder wondered aloud.

Ria raised her shoulders, then pulled her brother toward the stairs and inquired, "Who first?"

"How about Olivia?" Ryder suggested. When they reached Liv's door, Ryder leaned all his weight against it and threw it open, causing Olivia to scream with surprise.

Quickly realizing who was barging in, Olivia ran to Ryder and hugged him, "I actually, honestly missed you."

"Of course, you did," Ryder scoffed. He waved his finger toward Livie's face and taunted, "What's with all the girly crap?"

"It's called makeup, jerk," Olivia huffed as she pushed Ryder's shoulder.

"Make up, huh? Never heard of it," he prodded.

Olivia gazed toward the ceiling, "When I said I missed you… I'm over that now."

"See," Ryder teased with a wink. "It's like I never left."

"Hey, do I hear my missing son out here?" Owen called out joyfully. He extended his arms and hugged Ryder as soon as the two were close enough to one another. Owen put his hands on Ryder's shoulders and leaned back, "You've grown."

"There's never enough of me. I just keep growing," Ryder quipped. "Where's Mom and the T-H's?"

Owen inhaled slowly before pursing his lips. He lowered his voice and mumbled, "Long story. Let's head downstairs."

The two stopped in the kitchen before heading to the back porch. Once there, Owen shared small talk and asked about Ryder's final week and his flight home.

"Nothing eventful," Ryder responded. "Julie and I hung out a lot and took the same flights home."

"She's in the picture, huh?" Owen nudged, surprised a girl had remained on Ryder's radar for more than a month.

"We're buds. That's all. She's… uh," Ryder began then pondered the rest of his answer. "She's kind of a female version of me."

"Lord have mercy!" Owen called out as a joke.

Glancing out of the corner of his eye, Ryder grinned. "I want you to meet her."

"I'd like that, Ry," the father nodded. The two gazed out at the water as they sat at a picnic bench.

"It's been a great summer – the weather has been incredible," Owen shared.

"It was humid and hot in North Carolina. I hated it at first, but got used to it," Ryder reflected. With a chuckle, he shared, "Julie ordered these ridiculous ice packs to slip in her bra. All they did was leak and make her shirt wet."

Owen laughed, drank some beer, and laughed again. "Something tells me she caught a lot of hell for that."

"Pretty much. The instructors pretended not to notice, so she was stuck in the shirt all day. The rest of us basically harassed her nonstop," Ryder recalled. "That's one of her great qualities – she's tough. She encouraged everyone to bring on the jokes and even made a few herself."

"That'll serve her well in the Navy, especially in a male dominated specialty like flying," Owen pondered aloud.

Ryder turned his head and stared at Owen. He watched him for over a minute before Owen noticed and inquired, "What's up?"

"Are you going to tell me what's up with Nolan and Lissa?" Ryder queried.

Owen made eye contact and stated, "It's their story to tell."

"That's fair," Ryder nodded. "It's not about that baby they're adopting, is it? He seemed so stoked about her when I talked to him the other day."

"Molly? Everything is proceeding smoothly with the adoption. You haven't met her yet, have you?" Owen realized. Ryder shook his head and Owen suggested they check to see if she was awake. Owen softly knocked on Carolyn's door and opened it slowly.

Carolyn was changing Molly and softly explained, "We just woke up. And look who's here? It's your Uncle Ryder, Molly." Carolyn snapped up Molly's outfit and picked her up, handing her to Ryder, and explaining, "Now hold her while I wash my hands, then I'll smother you with grandma hugs."

Stifly, Ryder placed his hands under Molly's arms. He hadn't held a baby since Lucas was born and the responsibility was uncomfortable. With his arms nearly straight in front of him and Molly dangling, Ryder sputtered, "Hey, little baby."

Entertained by Ryder's reluctance, Owen simply observed.

Ry turned to Owen and asked, "What do I do with her?"

"How about breaking the two foot wall of fear and actually hugging your niece," Nolan interrupted from behind.

Instead, Ryder turned without bending his arms and faced Nolan. "Here," the little brother insisted.

"Hi, Angel," Nolan cooed as Molly began kicking her legs and reaching for Nolan. She opened her mouth and licked Nolan's cheek as she attempted to share a kiss.

"Dude, you're adopting a dog," Ryder claimed with slight disgust. "That's nasty – baby spit everywhere."

"Uncle Ryder doesn't know what he's missing," Nolan flirted with his smiling daughter. He reached in his pocket for a Kleenex and wiped his face. "You're a wimp, Ryder." Nolan handed the baby to Owen and gave his brother a hug, commenting, "Holy crap, Dude, you're taller than me."

"Revenge will be swift and unexpected," Ryder warned with one eyebrow lifted. "All those times you picked on me and were bigger than me…"

Lissa, her eyes puffy and pink, appeared and interrupted, "You'd never hurt my sweetie, would you, Ry?" She quickened her step and embraced him. Molly, missing the spotlight, began babbling. Lissa took her from Owen's arms and inquired, "Have you held your niece yet?"

Nolan feebly attempted to hold back a laugh. Explaining his plans to Lissa, Ryder disclosed, "I'm waiting for just the right moment… like in two years or so."

Uncharacteristically, Lissa taunted her brother-in-law in a baby talk voice, "Who's the baby now, Ry Ry?"

"If you weren't a chick, I'd slap you," Ryder sarcastically stated without emotion.


	45. Chapter 45 - The Unexpected

**Chapter 45**

 **An Imperfect Life – The Unexpected**

 **Saturday, August 2nd**

Nolan, Lissa, Molly, and Ryder settled onto the padded chairs on the porch. Lissa's swollen and tired eyes stood in contrast to her forced smile. She seldom spoke up and was obviously sad about something. With the sophistication of an experienced businessman, Nolan exuded a steady demeanor that included an air of soft humor. While pleasant and polished, Ryder easily saw through the veneer.

Saying nothing about his observations, Ryder observed the Tremblay Hunt's reactions as he recounted his summer experiences. As he embellished the stories and added playful commentary, Ryder noted that Nolan smiled rather than laughed and Lissa attempted to appear engaged even though she focused on Molly. Ryder's self-confidence and previous experience told him that the reunion was far from authentic.

"There I am, up in the air in a glider. The instructor – obviously not familiar with my reputation – turns over the controls to me without instruction. Me! The poor guy thought I'd respond the way that was outlined on page 83 of the instructions, right?" Ryder's arms were flung in wide gestures as he stretched them wide. With no response from his listeners, Ryder stopped mid-sentence. He pondered his next words, tempted to call out the absent presence of his brother and sister-in-law. Instead, he raised and then slowed and lowered his voice as if he was sharing the conclusion of the story. "Then, believe it or not, we made it all the way to China without any fuel, without assistance, without any modern convenience… Good times…"

Both Lissa and Nolan peered up and smiled, neither aware of Ryder's experiment and actual words.

"Ry… sometimes I wonder how you do it," Nolan mused with a grin. Lissa held her gaze with a gentle smile, but said nothing.

Sarcastically and with a hint of irritation, Ryder responded, "Nolan, when did you last have your hearing aids checked?"

Shaking his head with confusion, Nolan replied, "What are you talking about?"

"Dude," Ryder pressed. "You may be sitting here, but you're not _here._ Your fake cocktail hour persona is both lame and unconvincing. Neither of you are listening."

"Sorry, Ry," Nolan offered. "We are both truly happy to see you. We're a little distracted today."

"A little?" Ryder protested. "Nolan, I have no problem dealing with you when you're pissed or depressed or starry eyed, but this vacant veneer is almost offensive. This is me, here. Your brother. Either tell me what's going on or tell me you need some space, but don't try to fake me out and expect me to buy your lame acting."

Looking at Lissa for permission, Nolan shared, "Long, messy story. We received confusing news today and we're still processing it. It's… it's not 17 year old guy kind of stuff. I apologize, Ryder, we're just trying to get through each hour right now. You wouldn't understand."

Studying his brother, Ryder lowered his brows and stared. He leaned his lower arms on the table and gazed at the water. In a soft voice, Lissa excused herself because Molly needed to be changed. Nolan leaned back in his chair and focused on the house's second story balconies.

After three minutes of heavy, strained silence, Amelia stepped out the back door with eyes as pink and puffy as Lissa's. She paused after taking two steps toward the table and smiled broadly. Clapping her hands together, she oozed with joy, "Baby Bear!"

Ryder jumped up and ran to Amelia. He wrapped his arms around her and picked her up. "Hey, Mom," he greeted warmly. "I've really missed you." After setting her down, he picked her up again and tried to subtly wipe a tear from his eye.

Back on her feet, Amelia reached up and put her hands on Ryder's cheeks. "You look like a man," she offered wistfully. "You're taller and broader. Maybe even more muscular."

"Don't tell him that, Mom, it'll overfeed his ego," Nolan kidded.

"The truth is the truth, bro. The woman is brilliant – she's a brain surgeon, you know," Ryder retorted. With an abrupt conversational detour, Ryder questioned, "Mom, where the hell are my dogs?"

"Don't worry. The Littles didn't kill them. They're at the groomers, and I just received a call that they're ready," Amelia assured him. Then she announced, "I'm going to the store first. Need anything?"

Nolan made eye contact with his mother and grinned, "I'm good, Mom. Thanks."

"I'll go with you," Ryder grumbled.

Moments later, as the two pulled out of the garage, Amelia pressed lightly, "What's the word, little bird?"

"Nolan's an arrogant jerk," Ryder growled.

Trying to lighten the obvious intensity, Amelia responded, "That didn't rhyme."

"Nolan's an ass, Mama Cass," Ryder grumbled without cracking a smile.

Stunned, Amelia continued to drive and inquired, "Ry… what happened?"

Processing his interactions with the Tremblay Hunts personally, Ryder fumed internally. Not only did his brother act like an elite and insincere upper class snob, he also had the audacity to conclude that Ryder was too young to understand. The brother who almost always held Ryder to high expectations had seemed to dismiss him as trivial entertainment.

"I'm not sure who that guy on the porch is, but he definitely isn't my brother," Ryder mumbled as he gazed out the side window.

"Baby Bear…" Amelia sighed. She parked the car, but did not hurry into the store. Instead, she turned toward Ryder and put a hand on his lower arm. "You're hurting."

Ryder both loved and detested when Amelia could see into the depths of his soul. She was consistently and annoyingly right when she named his reality. Had he been speaking with Owen, an argument would be mounting. Owen would have noted the name calling and attitude. Instead, Mama Bear tended her cub without commentary.

Shaking his head and trying mightily to remain angry rather than hurt, Ryder replied, "It's nothing, Mom. Maybe I'm just tired from travelling or need to eat." Breathing audibly, Ryder smirked and leaned toward Amelia as he hugged her briefly. When he pulled away, opened his door, and sped to the grocery store entrance, Amelia felt as if he'd abruptly pulled off a well-adhered band aid. Now his hurt was also hers.

After making their way through the store with small talk, Amelia and Ryder returned to the car. Before she started the ignition, Amelia paused and studied her son. In some way, his interaction with Nolan had touched a raw nerve. Yet, Amelia couldn't begin to imagine what could drive a wedge between the brothers so quickly.

"What?" Ryder smiled out the side of his mouth as he caught Amelia staring at him.

Amelia's eyes were tender and loving. "It's not like you to be so prickly, Ry. Something's really bothering you."

"I'm just pissed, Mom. I'm sorry. It's stupid," he reasoned. "Maybe coming home to a flood of estrogen overwhelmed my brain and made me react like a sensitive chick."

"Ahh… estroemotionosis. A terrible plight," Amelia stated in her dire doctor's voice.

With a grin, Ryder rolled his eyes and quipped, "Shut up."

"There's my bear," Amelia chuckled.

"Growl," Ryder sounded flatly.

"Here's the deal: the dogs are our next stop, but I'm not starting this car until I get a better sense of what's going on with you."

"I don't mind telling you, Mom, but I," he began, finishing the sentence in his head with _don't want to cry._

Amelia had a hunch about the words that remained unspoken. She reached for Ryder's hand and squeezed it firmly. His grip tightened around hers as he mumbled, "He's treating me like a kid."

 _You are_ , _Baby Bear,_ Amelia thought. Aloud, she asked, "How so?"

"He and Lissa attempted to cover up how upset they are. Their acting wouldn't have convinced a 3 year old. When I called him on it, he told me the news wasn't for 17 year olds. Then he said I wouldn't understand," Ryder reported.

"And that hurt," Amelia reflected.

"I guess," he shrugged, understating the impact of Nolan's words.

"Let's go pick up Barkley and Bogey," she offered.

When the dogs saw Ryder, they couldn't stop barking and jumping on their boy. In his joy, Bogey forgot about his tired and arthritic body. Sliding between one another and jockeying to be closest to Ryder, the dogs climbed over and pushed each other. Stuck in the back of the rig for the short drive home, the whining, barking and grumbling sounded nonstop.

When they pulled through the gate, Amelia suggested, "How about if we go check on the treehouse after I give these bags to Grams?"

Ryder nodded and requested, "Go ahead and drop me off now." Amelia stopped the car. Ryder exited quickly and ran to the back to free the dogs. Together, the trio ran around the yard and toward the familiar retreat. Ryder reached up for the hidden key that everyone knew about and let himself inside. With half a laugh, he looked around the space as he turned on a light and recalled memories of tree house times past. The dogs piled on top of him as he plopped into a bean bag. While he waited for Amelia's arrival, he tried to make sense of his feelings.

After Amelia arrived, the two each made a nest of blankets and throw pillows. The dogs snored as they covered Ryder like heavy blankets and Ryder disclosed, "Everything about coming home today has been so weird. I walked in the door and nobody was around. I found the kids and, at first, they didn't even see me. Ria hobbled over to me – I hate when she's not doing well. Olivia is wearing makeup. I think she even brushed her hair within the last 10 hours. Then Dad was all 'glad you're home, son' but distracted. Grandma's here, which is cool, but she handed me a slobbering baby who licked Nolan's cheek. What the hell? Then Nolan and Liss were like 1000 miles away even though we were all sitting at the same table, and Nolan was acting all superior – not like 'listen to me, I'm your big brother,' but like he's far more worldly and important. I'm in the Hunt Twilight Zone."

"Life not only continued when you left, it changed," Amelia summarized. "Nothing that happened today played out the way you'd predicted or expected."

"Yeah, pretty much," he agreed.

"Nolan's not pompous," Amelia shared. "He's trying to hold himself together and it's coming across all wrong. My guess is that he's relieved you're here. You're one of the few people who has ever seen him with his guard down."

"What's up with him?" Ryder inquired.

"He'll tell you himself, if and when he's ready," Amelia stated plainly.

"That's pretty much what Dad told me," Ryder huffed lightly.

Amelia nudged, "Can I offer some advice?"

"Sure," Ryder shrugged.

"Re-entry is weird – you're away for a summer or for a year of college and nothing feels the same when you come home. On top of that, today was unusual all on its own. Give Nolan the benefit of the doubt," Amelia began. "Don't put much stock in today. Set it aside and start fresh in the morning."

"Aren't we having a big dinner tomorrow with Uncle Derek and everyone?" Ryder sought to confirm.

"Yep," Amelia replied.

"So tomorrow will be its own messed up, strange reality with you and Uncle Derek acting all weird and trying not to flip out on Grandma," Ryder predicted.

Amelia laughed and put forth, "Ryder Blake Hunt, I've missed you terribly."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

The duo made their way back to the house around 11pm. From the entryway, they could hear Lissa singing upstairs. She was attempting to soothe Molly. Owen was on the couch half-awake, holding his phone and checking his email. Everyone else, it seemed, was already asleep.

When Amelia and Ryder entered the house, Owen sat up and shared, "Ry, you left your phone outside and Nolan brought it in." He held up both his phone and Ryder's, explaining, "It rang and I thought it was mine, so I answered it. Julie called. She said she'd be awake until midnight."

"Thanks," Ryder responded as he grasped his phone.

With a reassuring and approving grin, Owen mused, "I can't wait to meet her. She sounds great."

"She is," Ryder nodded as he proceeded to the back porch and returned Julie's call.

"Everything ok?" Owen asked as Amelia snuggled beside him.

"It will be," she reflected. "It's tough to go from being constantly challenged and having a clear role to re-entering the family and not recognizing anyone."

"I'm too tired to make sense of that," Owen yawned, "but I'll take your word for it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 **Sunday, August 3rd**

With Carolyn in town, weekly Sunday dinner was a given; she began organizing them from the East Coast as soon as she arranged her air travel. Once she'd heard Ryder and the Tremblay Hunts would be home on the 1st, she extended her trip by a week to ensure she'd see her grandsons.

"Amelia? Where is your roasting pan?" Carolyn called out. Amelia was down the small hallway that led to the garage.

"I'm grabbing it now, Ma. It's in the storage room," Amelia advised.

Ria followed Carolyn closely, intrigued by her ability to simultaneously prepare dinner, keep track of each kid, and converse with Amelia. Carolyn had already parked Lucas at a barstool mixing a sauce that actually did not need mixing, reasoning to herself that it kept him out of trouble. Eagerly waiting to be entrusted by Grandma to help, Ria hoped her task would be more compelling than her brother's. Anna, in her room and refusing to come downstairs, wanted nothing to do with the frenzy. Olivia grounded and bored, wandered in the periphery wanting to be a part of the group but unwilling to admit it.

"One roasting pan," Amelia announced as she maneuvered her arm around her mother and set it in front of her.

"I don't understand why you allow Anna to decide whether or not she'll participate with the rest of us," Carolyn commentated.

"Mom, can we discuss this later? Without the kids?" Amelia begged.

"I'm just saying, Amelia," Carolyn continued, "She's the child and you're the adult."

"Mom…" Amelia pleaded. "Please."

"I like helping," Ria smiled. She turned to Olivia and boasted, "The other day, one of the new doctors at the hospital let me help her with stuff."

"What kind of stuff? Did you operate on a patient?" Olivia questioned sarcastically.

"Olivia Elise, not necessary," Carolyn advised curtly as she snapped her fingers. "Victoria, tell Grandma more."

"I had to go to PT and she went with me. Then she had to take some papers from one place to another place. She let me carry them," Ria announced proudly.

"She must know how responsible you are," Carolyn commented confidently. "Not everyone can be trusted with important paperwork." Turning to her grandson, she noted, "Lucas, that's the best stirring I've ever seen."

Resembling his father to a breathtaking degree, Lucas raised his eyes and smirked. Carolyn smiled warmly, resisting the urge to lean over and pinch his cheek.

Owen entered the kitchen from the garage and Amelia requested, "Handsome, can you check on Anna?"

"Sure," Owen agreed. He turned to another daughter and checked, "Ria, have you iced your leg lately?" When she shook her head, Owen picked her up and walked toward the freezer. "Let's set you up, then check on Anna," he detailed. "My bed or your bed?"

"Yours with TV?" she attempted, hopeful the stringent rules about TV time might be relaxed.

"Deal," Owen chuckled as he popped his finger on her nose.

Jumping down from the barstool, Lucas begged, "Can I watch too?"

"Hop up," Owen invited as he knelt down enough for his son to climb on his back.

"Be careful, Owen, or you'll be the one laid up in bed icing," Carolyn warned. Owen laughed in response, basically ignoring Carolyn's words. Had it been his mother, he would've responded by telling her not to worry. Since it was his mother-in-law, the smile and nod approach seemed wise.

"Mom… he's not a little kid. He can make his own decisions," Amelia grumbled. Having stayed for some time, Carolyn was on Amelia's nerves. Like always, she had come in and commandeered the household. Having home cooked meals every night, laundry folded and put away, and kids kept in check was a treat, but Carolyn's workhorse presence came at a price.

"Amelia Shepherd, don't make this into something it isn't," Carolyn warned firmly as if Amelia were 15 again.

"Livs, I need to run upstairs. Can you take over for me?" Amelia requested, needing a break from her mother.

Olivia walked over and assisted Carolyn as she processed the mother-daughter interaction she'd just witnessed. She was intrigued to see her mother as the daughter and found Amelia's impatience entertaining.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Meanwhile, Owen was on the phone with O'Leary when Amelia entered the bedroom. He stood at the bathroom mirror shaving as he spoke. His towel was wrapped around his waist and his red hair was a mess from his attempt to towel dry it. A few minutes earlier, he had settled the kids on the bed with blankets and pillows, had started a movie for them, and then hopped in the shower.

"That BP is a little high, but really nothing to worry about. How are the rest of his vitals?" Owen asked as he grinned at Amelia through the mirror.

Amelia threw off her shirt and shot a flirty glance toward Owen. He raised his eyebrows as he responded to the next question, "Those are all reassuring. Now what's your next step going to be?"

Walking over and standing beside her husband as he caught the last few areas in need of a shave, Amelia freshened up her makeup.

"Exactly. You know all of the answers – now, trust yourself to care for the patient," Owen advised gently, actually thinking, _Why in the hell did you call me about this?!_ He offered final insights and ended the call. Blowing air toward his forehead, he commented, "Interns…"

"What about them?" Amelia inquired as she applied mascara.

"They're either too confident and completely screw up or not confident enough and too terrified to try anything," Owen grumbled.

Amelia leaned over and wrapped her arms around her barely dressed husband. Mumbling in his ear, she questioned, "And which were you back in the day?"

Sputtering, Owen bragged, "Me?! I had the right amount of confidence and knew what I could and couldn't handle."

"Right…" Amelia winked before patting his rear.


	46. Chapter 46 - Re-entry

**Chapter 46**

 **An Imperfect Life – Re-entry**

 **Sunday, August 3rd**

On Sunday, Ryder spent the day focusing on two tasks: texting Julie and unpacking. Giving himself clear priorities, he was able to busy himself and avoid the emotionally unavailable Tremblay Hunts. Although Amelia had urged him to give Nolan the benefit of the doubt, Ryder was still hurt by what he interpreted as Nolan's sense of superiority.

Had Kayla been there to reflect on the situation, she could have pointed out to Ryder that he'd always had a vulnerable wound deep down because he'd grown up under the cloud of his brother's brilliance and accomplishments. When the first child was advanced, everyone celebrated. If the second child _wasn't_ shining above his peers, people wondered what was wrong. Although Ryder had always managed to find his own way and create his own role in the family, a small part of him yearned to be like his brother: well-respected, touted, and admired. What Ryder often neglected to recognize was that he too was advanced, intelligent, and a source of parental pride. Those realities, however, were often eclipsed by his candid banter, quick wit, and self-assurance.

By the time everyone sat down for Carolyn's feast on her final Sunday in Seattle, Ryder had no problem avoiding his brother. With a total of sixteen people crowded around the table, Ryder had taken it upon himself to rearrange the seating so parents were near young children and he was far from the sullen Tremblay Hunts. He settled in next to his Uncle Derek, knowing he and his uncle would easily fill the entire time with entertaining conversation.

After helping with the dishes, Ryder returned to his room and called Julie. The two talked for hours about how much they missed North Carolina. Both were eager for the next year to be over so they could return and formally enter the Academy. Sharing commentaries about their families, the two laughed and joked about their lives – both attempting to laugh in order to survive the confusion of what it meant to grow up and face changing familial relationships.

 **Monday, August 4th**

While Lissa changed into a gown, Nolan moved his chair against the exam table and waited for Arizona to arrive. Lissa slid onto the table and reached for Nolan's hand. The two had spent most of the previous night talking about their options. They were tired from lack of sleep and weary from the pressure of the situation they were facing.

"The Tremblay Hunts – one of my favorite couples," Arizona beamed as she entered the exam room with Lissa's thick file in her hands. As she sat down on a stool and wheeled toward them, she acknowledged, "You two had a lot to consider this weekend."

"True," Nolan nodded.

"Tell me the questions that are swirling around in your mind," she urged.

Lissa summarized, "We don't want to terminate, but we're wondering if there are reasons we should consider it. Is the only benefit being able to have the surgery sooner? Or is terminating somehow better than miscarriage?"

"As you know, miscarriages can sometimes require a D&C, so it's possible you'll have to undergo the procedure regardless," Arizona outlined. "With any procedure, there are risks. Even being pregnant carries risks, and each pregnancy is different. I'm not sure we can clearly determine which choice is the least risky for you."

"Then we'd rather give this pregnancy a chance," Nolan maintained. "Our next question has to do with moving to England. We're scheduled to leave the country within the next month or so and to return for adoption proceedings in March. Assuming the pregnancy thrives, is that all doable? We're also wondering about prenatal care in England."

"Hmm," Arizona pondered as she pulled her joined lips toward one cheek. "I have a couple contacts in England that can help us. As far as travelling, a woman is usually fine until 32 weeks. Depending on the state of the pregnancy, it may even be possible to travel until your 36th week. At the same time, depending upon how the pregnancy progresses, you may find yourself in a situation where air travel is not advisable."

"Too many unknowns…" Lissa reflected.

Arizona gritted her teeth and widened her lips, "Pretty much. I wish I could provide more clarity."

As if Arizona was not present, Nolan looked at Lissa and thought aloud, "You and Molly could always move over initially and come back sometime after Christmas, but I'm not wild about you travelling with her alone."

"We could have the baby there and avoid all the back and forth," Lissa proposed.

Nolan blinked and admitted, "I hadn't even considered that." He narrowed his eyes as he processed the options and wondered aloud, "I could come back for the adoption in March, but we'd be apart if you ended up in labor."

"Pardon my interruption," Arizona apologized. "Could you put England off a year? Or delay the adoption until the other baby is born?"

"No," Nolan stated clearly as he shook his head. "Those aren't options."

In her own mind, Lissa wondered why Nolan was so quick to answer. Not appreciating his solo decision making, she planned to discuss it when they were alone later.

 **Tuesday, August 5** **th**

Ryder waited until Grandma Carolyn was on her way back to New York before introducing Julie to his family. At Carolyn's request, the "big boys" took her to the airport together, helped her check her bags, and stood in utter embarrassment as she smothered them with hugs and kisses before heading to her gate. Nolan and Ryder muddled through the experience, neither knowing how to bridge the uncomfortable divide that had recently developed between them.

Returning to Lissa's car in the airport parking lot after seeing Carolyn off, the two found themselves in awkward silence.

Nolan recalled, "I think you made Gram's day when she asked you to salute and you obliged."

"I felt like a total loser, but it made her smile," Ryder admitted.

"Yeah…" Nolan responded as his voice trailed off. After two minutes of silence, Nolan offered, "Feel free to choose a radio station. Whatever you want."

"That's ok," Ryder responded as he read a text from Julie. _Just get me out of this car,_ Ryder pondered.

A few more minutes of silence emerged, interrupted by Nolan attempting to connect yet again. "Have you gotten used to the time zone yet? That takes a few days, doesn't it?"

"I'm good," Ryder replied briefly, not interested in small talk.

"I can't imagine how we'll adjust when we move to England," Nolan pondered aloud. "It'll probably be hardest on Molly, which means it'll be tough for Liss."

"Probably," Ryder stated. _Poor little Rhodes Scholar_ , Ryder mused _, it's tough being so smart and important._

"It's an eight hour shift. Molly will have her nights and days mixed up," Nolan commented.

"Mmm Hmm," Ryder hummed.

Nolan was exhausted. He was stressed about the adoption, Lissa's pregnancy, the upcoming move, becoming a parent, and living under his parents' roof temporarily. He had limited energy to expend on attempting to connect with his distant brother. At the same time, he was frustrated that Ryder had gone from eager to reconnect to completely removed. He didn't understand what had brought on the sudden change.

"Molly's almost rolling over," Nolan stated, hoping to open up conversation.

"Cool," Ryder responded.

With a chuckle, Nolan added, "She's putting everything in her mouth now. It's pretty funny – it doesn't matter if it's my shirt or Lissa's purse strap or a paci – everything has to go to her mouth. I remember when you hit that stage – Mom wouldn't let me keep my toys anywhere but my bedroom. She was afraid you'd grab a lego and choke on it."

"Can you drop me off downtown?" Ryder requested without responding to Nolan's overture.

"Umm… I guess," Nolan stuttered. "Mom's ok with that?"

Ryder shrugged, "I didn't ask for a hall pass." _I'm not five, Nolan,_ he thought.

"Do you want to check in with her first?" Nolan urged, not wanting to be blamed for breaking the rules.

"Not really. This next exit would be perfect. Drop me at Pioneer Square," Ryder instructed.

Without comment, Nolan did as Ryder requested. As he pulled into a parking spot, he asked, "When will you be home?"

Ryder opened the car door and closed it without comment. He walked over to a bench and sat down to call Julie. Befuddled, Nolan drove off and resumed his trip home.

"Hey, Jules," Ryder greeted. "I'm at Pioneer Square."

"Congratulations, Pa Ingalls," Julie quipped.

"Get your ass down here," Ryder retorted.

"Are you buying?" Julie pushed.

"Buying what?" Ryder inquired.

Julie sighed audibly for effect, "Lunch, I suppose. You're ordering me around town and it's almost noon."

"It's 10 am or don't they teach you how to tell time at your school," Ryder taunted.

"I'm on my way, asshole," Julie concluded as she hung up the phone. Her words may have been snarky, but her heart had skipped a beat when she saw Ryder's name on the caller ID. They hadn't seen each other since Saturday, and she was eager to be with him.

While Ryder was waiting, Owen called. "What's up, Dad?" he answered.

"Grandma made it to the airport without a problem?" Owen asked.

"Yeah. We went with her to check her bags and let her kiss us in public. She couldn't decide if she should celebrate our sacrifice or cry because she was leaving," Ryder described.

"Thanks for doing that. I appreciate you taking time for her," Owen praised. He yearned to ask about how Ryder and Nolan were getting along, but decided to hold back. If Ryder knew how much Owen wanted the brothers to talk and interact, the idea would only be more unappealing.

"Sure. That's it, then?" Ryder wondered aloud.

"I keep forgetting to talk to you and Nolan about cars," Owen stated as he shuffled through paperwork and put his initials on certain pages.

"Yeah," Ryder acknowledged without care.

"How do you feel about the idea I brought up a few weeks ago? You can drive Nolan's Jeep while he's in England," Owen clarified.

"I'd rather buy another Mustang and have my own car," Ryder admitted.

"What will you do with it when you're gone next year?" Owen pressed.

Not wanting to figure out details over the phone, Ryder responded, "Sell it, I guess." Ryder peered down the street, wondering what was taking Julie so long.

"That's not a wise financial decision," Owen declared. "You should talk to your brother about that. He can explain how the largest loss on a car is in the beginning."

Ryder had no interest in seeking Nolan's financial advice nor in borrowing Nolan's pristine Jeep. Really, Ryder wanted a motorcycle. He knew that his parents would be diametrically opposed to such a purchase, so he was planning to wait until his 18th birthday. Until then, Ryder figured he could drive the van or SUV. Both were already trashed, so he wouldn't have to worry about spilled drinks or the occasional mess. "Whatever, Dad. Do we really need to figure this all out right now?" Ryder questioned impatiently as he saw Julie park her Sonata hybrid across the street.

"I suppose not," Owen stated. Then he challenged, "Do you really need to snap at me?"

"I didn't snap," Ryder argued.

"Yes, Ryder, you did," Owen declared.

"No, Dad," Ryder exhaled. "I didn't." Julie galloped across the street and hugged Ryder once she reached him. He pointed at the phone and rolled his eyes.

"Watch it, Ry," Owen warned.

Ryder searched his mind for a quick way out of the conversation. As much as he hated to utter the words, he offered, "I'm sorry, Dad. I was out of line."

"Maybe we should sit down tonight and review expectations and house rules," Owen pressed angrily. For whatever reason, Ryder could instantly drive Owen to the brink of impatience far more quickly than any other Hunt offspring.

"Ok," Ryder responded as he spread his fingers and slapped his hand to his face for Julie's benefit. She sat down on a nearby bench and laughed quietly.

"Try that again, son," Owen growled.

"Dad…" Ryder implored, "Why are you leaning on me like this?"

"I don't have time to argue with you and remind you that I'm the parent, Ryder. We'll finish this conversation tonight, understood?" Owen concluded, seeking a 'yes, sir' response for the second time.

"Got it. See ya later," Ryder shot back before disconnecting the call. The rapid goodbye only infuriated Owen further.

"So, hey," Ryder smiled widely toward Julie. "Wanna met the fam tonight?"

"And keep your dad from flipping out on you because there's a guest present?" she opined.

"That and because I want someone to shield me from my niece the puppy," Ryder quipped.

Julie stood up and shoved Ryder's shoulder, "She's a baby, Ryder. It's cute that she was trying to kiss your brother. Get over it."

"She left slobber on his cheek, Jules," Ryder sneered.

"You're so stupid," she declared as she shook her head.

"So you'll come?" Ryder encouraged with charm.

"Yes, R.B," she answered, using his initials which also served as her nickname for him. "You can use me for your gain tonight. The food better be tasty."

"It's always all about you, isn't it?" Ryder winked as he began typing out a text to Amelia asking if Julie could come to dinner. Not having spoken to Owen, she responded immediately with enthusiasm that she was looking forward to meeting Julie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

A couple hours later, Amelia popped her head into Owen's office. She purred, "You are so sexy when you're reading budget reports."

Recognizing her voice, he chuckled. Without looking up, he mused smoothly, "Ma'am, really… I'm a married man."

Amelia walked over to Owen and leaned her chin on his shoulder from behind, whispering, "I won't tell anyone if you don't."

"Hmmm," he hummed hopefully before twisting to his side and kissing her.

Amelia turned Owen's office chair, planning to straddle him. Clearing his throat, Owen pointed out, "Mia… two of the walls of my office are nothing but windows."

Placing her hands on the chair's armrests, she leaned close and whispered, "So?"

Flashing a grin, Owen stood and suggested, "Lunch?"

"I guess," Amelia sighed playfully. They began to head toward the hall, she grasped Owen's hand and shared, "Ryder's non-girlfriend girlfriend is coming to dinner tonight."

"Tonight?" Owen attempted to clarify as they walked.

Amelia nodded and explained, "He sent a text earlier."

"Ah… probably after he and I had a little argument," Owen reflected.

"Sneaky…" Amelia mused. "Looks like our Ryder is back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'


	47. Chapter 47 - People Are Watching

**Chapter 47**

 **An Imperfect Life – People Are Watching**

 **Tuesday, August 5** **th**

Later that afternoon, Julie and Ryder drove up to the gate of the Lake House. She hazed, "Is the place gated so they can keep track of you?"

"We put it up after my dates kept escaping. This slows them down," Ryder joked before providing her the gate code.

"That's sick, RB," Julie observed.

Ryder sported a sideways grin and pointed out, "There's the treehouse I told you about."

As Julie continued toward the house, she and Ryder spotted the Littles and Olivia playing basketball. The kids froze in place and watched the unfamiliar car drive up. Ryder suggested, "Park over to the side before the driveway."

"Good idea… then I won't have to run over any kids," she winked.

Ryder jumped out of the car and mumbled through gritted teeth, "Stop staring."

"Who is that? Do you have a new girlfriend?" Lucas inquired loudly.

Julie laughed as she walked over and teased, "You think I'd date this guy?!"

The kids roared with laughter as Ryder gazed toward the sky and waited for them to stop. "Guys, this is Julie." One by one, Ryder introduced the kids to Julie. Before Ryder could lead Julie inside, Lissa and Nolan wandered out the front door. They feebly attempted to appear as if they had planning to stroll outside prior to Ryder and Julie's arrival and just happened to encounter them in the process.

Holding Molly, Nolan extended his hand and introduced himself, "You must be Julie. I'm Nolan." He motioned toward Lissa and continued, "My wife, Larissa, and our daughter, Molly."

Receiving and returning his handshake, Julie stated, "I've heard so much about all of you. Congratulations on the adoption."

"Thank you," Lissa responded with sincerity. She held her gaze, imprinting a detailed image of Julie in her memory. Lissa noted that Julie wasn't like the girls Ryder usually dated. Rather than a Barbie with a stylish outfit, incredible body, perfect hair, and trendy makeup, Julie's appearance was far more casual. Her hair was pulled back in a quick and messy bun that was probably created when her hair was still wet from the shower. Julie's naturally pretty face had no makeup, and she was dressed in a t-shirt and gym shorts.

After Lissa thanked her, Ryder led Julie inside to meet Owen and Amelia. Amelia was in the Dining Room setting the table while Owen was walking toward the kitchen with a huge platter full of grilled fish and vegis.

"Dad, this is Julie," Ryder introduced. "Julie, my dad, Dr. Owen Hunt."

"Great to meet you, Sir," Julie responded as she leaned to the side and grinned, "I'd try to shake your hand, but…"

Owen smiled back at the 5'10" brunette and admitted, "Right." He walked to the kitchen island, set the platter down, and washed his hands. "Let's try this again," Owen offered as he extended his hand. He called out, "Mia? Ryder and Julie are here."

Coming around the corner, Amelia shook hands with Julie and welcomed her. "Amelia Shepherd. I'm glad you were able to make it tonight."

Within a few minutes, everyone was seated at the table. Amelia had shifted all of the kids except Lucas down a spot so Julie could sit next to her and Ryder could sit across from Julie. Everyone found their eyes roaming toward Julie intermittently. If someone caught Julie's eye, a quick smirk was offered before looking away. The level of curiosity about this girl who was simply Ryder's friend was high. Meanwhile, Julie attempted to recall each person's name.

"What game are we playing tonight, Daddy?" Lucas eagerly questioned. Ryder slowly closed his eyes. He had deeply hoped to avoid this embarrassing family practice and had forgotten to warn Julie about it.

Spotting Ryder's reaction, Owen inhaled slowly and suggested, "Maybe we'll skip it tonight."

Ria tugged at Julie's sleeve and inquired, "Do you like games?"

"Sure," Julie nodded.

"At dinner, we play games every night. Sometimes we share highs and lows, other times we play guessing games or try to come up with movies or songs that start with each letter of the alphabet," Ria explained.

"Sounds like fun," Julie smirked, comparing the scene to the quiet dining room at her home.

Ryder interrupted, "No… no, it's not fun. Ria, tell Julie about your leg or school or anything else."

Saving Julie from the inquiring mind of a 9 year old, Amelia questioned, "Did you grow up in Seattle, Julie?"

"No, Ma'am," Julie answered. "I spent most of my life in Maryland. When I was 11, we moved to Seattle."

"What brought your family out west?" Owen questioned with curiosity.

"My father is a Captain in the Navy. He accepted a post out here that didn't include deployments," Julie explained.

"It's a great place to plant some roots," Owen commented with a gentle grin.

"Do you have brothers and sisters?" Anna asked, continuing the Hunt Third Degree.

"One brother who is 7 years older than me. He lives in San Diego," she shared. Ryder mouthed an apology from across the table. Julie smiled back, undisturbed by the questions. "How about you? How many brothers and sisters do you have?"

"Two sisters, three brothers. One of my sisters is my twin," Anna reported. "Can you guess which one?" Julie and Anna broke into their own conversation as other small groups at the table did likewise.

"Dad, let's play basketball after dinner," Nolan suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," Owen agreed. "Ryder? Care to join us?"

"Jules? Wanna play ball later?" Ryder inquired, assuming the invitation extended to his friend.

"Sure," Julie agreed readily.

Nolan warned, "We're a little rough."

"She can take it," Ryder asserted. "She's All-State, Nole. She's gonna kick your…"

Interrupting, Amelia resumed questioning the visitor, "Do you live on one of the bases around here, Julie?"

"No, ma'am. We're in the Queen Anne district," Julie stated. "I wish we were out in this area – being by the water would be wonderful."

"Amelia and I both work at Grey Sloan Hospital – it's near the Queen Anne area," Owen related.

"Just down the street," Julie smiled. "And you're a surgeon, right?"

Owen nodded, "Yes, a trauma surgeon. Mia is a neurosurgeon."

"What's your mom do, Julie?" Olivia asked.

Julie leaned toward the center of the table so she could see Olivia to her right, "She was a Navy wife and stay-at-home Mom. She passed away seven years ago."

"I'm sorry we brought it up," Amelia apologized.

"Not a problem, ma'am," Julie assured her with a soft grin.

The one line, back and forth conversation was boring Ryder to tears. He felt bad for Julie as she sat in an inquisition with question after question coming her way. Everyone else was almost finished eating, yet Julie's plate remained almost untouched. Trying to broaden the banter, Ryder nudged, "Jules, tell them about your brother."

"Sam? He's a SEAL," she offered as she looked at Ryder with an inquisitive glance wondering what he was hoping she'd share.

With wonder and wide eyes, Lucas exclaimed, "You're brother is an animal? That's so cool!"

"Sam's human, Lucas," Owen explained. "He's special forces. Navy SEALs are highly trained and work on secret missions."

"I knew that," Lucas tried to cover his gaffe like a cat who had just fallen off a windowsill. "I was just kidding."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"

After dinner, Nolan, Owen, Julie, and Ryder headed to the basketball hoop in the driveway. Lissa, Amelia, and Olivia spread a blanket on the lawn to watch the game. Molly balanced between her mama's legs trying to sit up. Before she started to play, Julie asked if she could leave her phone on the blanket.

"Two on two?" Owen suggested as he passed the ball to Ryder.

"Shirts and skins? Jules, take off your shirt," Ryder responded.

"Take off your shorts and you've got a deal," she grinned back.

Nolan, slightly horrified by the brash and unpolished words, suggested, "The two Navy brats versus the old men." He bounced the ball a few times before attempting to rush past Ryder, who body checked him just as he went up for a layup. He missed the shot but stayed on his feet, glaring at his little brother before passing the ball to Julie for the next play.

In great shape from the summer and able to sleep uninterrupted, Ryder was faster than his brother. Escaping Nolan, Ryder caught a pass from Julie and easily made a basket. He high-fived Julie as she walked by him and bellowed, "That's it. That's the way."

Owen, realizing Julie would give him a run for his money, attempted to signal a play. Having no idea what Owen was attempting to communicate, Nolan offered a feeble upward nod and watched for Owen's next move. Before he knew it, Julie had stolen the ball and passed it to Ryder. Nolan attempted to steal it back, which meant he wasn't paying attention when Ryder passed the ball back to Julie and she made a shot. "Call the cops, boys, you just got robbed," Julie quipped as she nudged Owen lightly.

Down 4-0, it was Nolan's turn to bring the ball in. After dribbling and acting as if he was going to pass the ball, Nolan risked a jump shot and made a 3 point basket, bragging, "Gimme all three, Barbie!" If Julie was going to trash talk, he reasoned that he would too. Glancing at Lissa, he was met with a look filled with warning.

As shouts of "gimme that!" when the ball was stolen and "Sorry…my bad" when an excellent basket was scored, the game heated up and gender was no longer on the guys' radars.

"She's tough," Olivia commented to her mom and sister-in-law as they watched Julie handle herself capably and sweat as much as any of the guys. Julie's phone sounded an alarm just as she made a shot and celebrated with dance moves.

"Your phone is making noise," Olivia called out.

Not even saying a word, Julie ran to the blanket at full speed and grabbed the phone. With an out-of-breath 'thanks,' she answered, "Hello?"

On the other end of the line was Capt. Adam Caldwell. "Why are you over at Lake Washington?" he asked curiously, having accessed data from the tracking device on Julie's car.

"I'm at Ryder's. We just finished dinner and now we're playing basketball," she disclosed honestly.

"I didn't see a note or receive a text, Jules," the father pointed out.

"Oh, right," Julie responded as she bit her lower lip. "I apologize, Dad."

Capt. Caldwell, strict and firm yet also loving and generous, responded, "It's not the end of the world, but I would have appreciated you checking in."

"I completely understand," Julie assured him.

"Well… you know the drill." Anytime she was at someone's home, he wanted to speak to a parent and confirm Julie wasn't hanging out unsupervised.

"Dr. Shepherd, would you mind speaking to my dad?" Julie requested with slight embarrassment. "He wants to confirm there are parents here."

"Sure," Amelia grinned, finding the Captain's practice a bit overbearing. She stood up and put the phone to her ear as Julie returned to the court and play resumed. "Hi, this is Amelia Shepherd."

"Ma'am, Adam Caldwell," he began. "Thank you for inviting my daughter to dinner."

"It's our pleasure," Amelia responded. "Maybe next time, you could come along too. My husband and I would love to meet you."

"You're too kind," Adam replied. "Julie's not giving you any trouble, is she?"

"Not at all," Amelia confirmed. "She's a lovely young woman and is welcome here anytime."

With Amelia's reassurance, Adam emphasized his gratitude again. He stressed that Julie knew her curfew, but that Amelia was welcome to send her home sooner. Leaving his number and obtaining hers, Adam said goodbye and bid good night.

After the game was called at the Navy Brat's 15 to the Old Men's 5, the players swarmed the kitchen and downed pitchers of water. Noting the time, Julie thanked Ryder's parents for the evening and offered her goodbyes to everyone. Since she hadn't given her dad a heads up about her whereabouts, she decided to hustle home earlier than he'd expect.

Ryder walked her to her car and commented, "I hope they were bearable. They're a lot to take in all at once."

"It was fantastic, RB," Julie celebrated. "My house is so quiet and empty. This was a blast."

Peeking out the upstairs, downstairs, and stair windows as casually as possible, Ryder's beloved family members attempted to conceal their whereabouts. He was fully aware of the sixteen eyes observing his every move and deeply hoped Julie had no idea she was being monitored.

With butterflies in her stomach, she continued, "I'm thrilled we connected today."

"Me too," Ryder nodded casually as if he was interacting with Olivia or Nolan. He opened her car door for her and quipped, "You'd better drive directly home or the Captain will want an explanation."

Julie smirked and gazed up at Ryder as she fastened her seatbelt. "He means well. I'm used to it."

"It'd make me implode," Ryder predicted. Both Julie and Ryder laughed softly at his response. When the laughter faded, Ryder offered a vague promise, "Later this week, maybe, huh?"

"Sounds excellent," Julie smiled as Ryder closed her door for her. He stood and watched her car until she'd exited the gate. Then he turned around and glanced at the house windows, which were all mysteriously vacant.

When he walked inside, everyone applauded and cat called.

"What?" Ryder quizzed with a scrambled mouth and wavy eyebrows. "Guys, seriously… knock it off."

"Not even a good night kiss, Ry?" Lissa teased.

"She's a friend, Larissa," Ryder stated flatly.

"Is that why you stare at each other with starry eyes?" Nolan pressed. "Dude, you are so in to her."

Shaking his head, Ryder reiterated, "We're friends. Close friends. We're not a couple. It's not like that."

"Why not?" Olivia inquired honestly. "She's funny, she's pretty, and she's into airplanes…"

"And we're friends with a lot in common," Ryder exhaled with a hint of frustration. He glanced at his parents, hoping for assistance.

"I'm glad we met her, Ryder. She seems like a wonderful person," Owen noted. "I hope Julie will come over more often."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Everyone peeled away from the group one by one. When Ryder excused himself, Nolan followed him.

"Hey…" the older brother began as he invited himself into Ryder's bedroom. "I want to talk to you before we crash."

Without turning to face Nolan, Ryder took off his t-shirt and replied, "What?"

"You came down on me pretty hard out there on the court," Nolan described.

Ryder turned his head and slightly raised a shoulder. He remarked without sincerity, "Sorry."

"No, you're not," Nolan alleged. "What's up, Ryder?"

"You pissed me off earlier today, ok? Whatever," Ryder blustered as he avoided eye contact. "Leave it alone, man."

"What the hell did I do that pissed you off?" Nolan challenged.

"Oh… it's too much for an old married man in his 20s to understand," Ryder snarled as he slipped off his shorts but left on his boxers.

Although adults, the two were still brothers. Nolan reacted by standing a few inches from Ryder and shot back, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ryder moved in closer and scowled. He hissed, "Get away from me."

"No," Nolan declared with folded arms. "No, Ryder, you don't get to call the shots on this. Show some respect and answer my questions."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Ryder contended with disbelief.

"You know exactly who I am," Nolan asserted. "I'm your older brother."

"Congratulations," Ryder groaned. "Whatever, Nolan. Get the hell out of my room."

"What's up, guys?" Owen inquired as he leaned on the door frame. When Owen heard the brothers from the master bedroom, he decided to intervene.

"Nothing," Nolan swore, providing the same response he would have offered five to ten years ago.

"He's all in my face, Dad," Ryder reported with furrowed brows. His mounting anger was obvious.

Motioning his head toward the hallway, Owen encouraged, "C'mon, Nole, let's go."

Dutifully, Nolan followed Owen into the hallway. Ryder proceeded to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

"What was that about?" Owen inquired casually.

"He's mad about something, but he won't discuss it," Nolan huffed. He turned toward the guest room. "G'night, Dad," he remarked. He opened the door and captured the sight of Lissa feeding Molly. Instantly transforming from adversarial big brother to doting family man, Nolan crawled onto the bed and wrapped his arm around his wife. Together, they admired their little girl.

"Everything ok?" Lissa questioned, having heard the voices down the hall.

"He's pouting about something I said," Nolan complained.

"What'd you say?" she wondered aloud.

"He won't tell me. Apparently I upset him. Sometimes I can make that happen merely by existing," Nolan grumbled as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Here," Lissa urged as she handed a half asleep baby to him to burp. She walked to the bathroom and rinsed out the bottle, then brushed her teeth and washed her face. When she returned to the room, Molly was asleep on Nolan's chest and Nolan was asleep on the bed. She snuggled in along his side as he unconsciously maneuvered his arm around her tiny frame.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

When Owen stepped into his bedroom, he yawned and fell onto the bed. He happened to land with his face near Amelia's hips. He kissed Amelia's hand and worked his way up her arm to her neck and to her lips.

"What do you make of Julie's dad?" Amelia inquired as Owen nuzzled in her neck.

"What do you mean?" Owen asked.

"He tracks her car and confirms that parents are present if she's at someone's house," Amelia reported.

Owen shrugged, "Sounds smart to me. If every parent did that, teenagers would be in a lot fewer accidents and would stay out of trouble."

"Seriously? Wouldn't you worry that she's going to be wild the second she's out from under his thumb?" Amelia pressed.

"Not everyone's a rebel, Hurricane Amelia," Owen commentated with a grin.

Amelia glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, "Still. Is it a question of trust or safety? Where's the line? And how do kids learn self-control and self-discipline if their every movement and phone call is monitored?"

With his eyes closed but his hands roving along Amelia's body, Owen asked, "She seems like a great kid, Mia. Why are you wound up about the way she's parented? That's on her father, not on you."

"Kids who are tightly controlled usually end up in more trouble than kids with casual boundaries," she asserted.

"You'd have to prove that to me," Owen remarked. "Now forget about Captain What's-His-Name and discover what Major Hunt has waiting for you."

"That's got to be one of the worst pick-up lines ever spoken," she opined with a giggle as she slapped her forehead.

"I'm tired," he reasoned. "It's the best I can offer." He pulled her closer and kissed her, content to hold her in his arms and relieved to take her mind of some random parent.


	48. Chapter 48 - It's Not What It Seems

**Chapter 48**

 **An Imperfect Life – It's Not What It Seems**

 **Thursday, August 7** **th**

Ryder fumbled his way down the stairs with his signature bedhead sprouting in every possible direction. He wasn't thrilled to be awake so early, but Julie had convinced him to join her and her father on a hike. Knowing that hiking involved movement, Ryder figured he'd be asked far fewer questions on a hike than over dinner. The event seemed like an ideal "Meet the Parents" experience.

As he stumbled to the kitchen half awake, Ryder nearly bumped into Lissa as she fussed with Nolan's tie.

"Morning," Ryder mumbled.

"Why are you awake so early?" Nolan inquired, decked out in a suit and freshly shined shoes. Ryder shared his plans for the day and was again taunted about his non-girlfriend girlfriend.

"You planning on kicking back and watching Good Morning America, huh?" Ryder questioned sarcastically as he glared at Nolan from head to toe.

"We're meeting with the judge to request permission to take Molly to England," Lissa shared.

"I thought you guys adopted her. Why does a judge have to approve what you do with your own kid?" Ryder questioned with disgusted disbelief.

"It's complicated," Nolan stated tenderly and with care. Unbeknownst to the trio, Owen was making his way toward the kitchen.

"Don't you dare pull that on me again, Nolan," Ryder grumbled as he narrowed his eyes and stared.

"Ryder," Lissa warned as she slightly raised her voice and shot him a serious combination teacher-mom glare.

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Ry," Nolan admitted with exasperation and half a smile. "I'm not trying to be an ass."

Owen strolled in, caught Lissa's eye and chirped a cheery hello. He opened the refrigerator in search of the leftover fruit he had stashed away the previous day.

Raising the volume and intensity of his voice, Ryder insisted, "Telling me something is too complicated for me to understand or that I'm too young to appreciate your challenges borders on arrogance, Nolan."

Looking over his shoulder, Owen drew his words out slowly "Gentlemen…"

"I'm outta here," Ryder stewed as he attempted to walk past Owen.

Owen grasped Ryder's lower arm. "What's the problem, son?"

Shaking his head and looking away, Ryder mumbled an indecipherable response.

Locking his eyes on Ryder's, Owen pursed his lips with disappointment. "You want to work out your issue rather than storm off?"

"Not especially," Ryder snapped. "I need to get over to Julie's. If I don't leave now, traffic is going to suck."

With a sigh, Nolan interjected, "Let him go, Dad. He's not interested in reconciliation or conversation."

Owen pulled his hands in front of his chest and commentated, "Just trying to help." He peered over at Ryder and offered, "Have fun on the hike. Let's work out this tension before dinner tonight."

"Whatever," Ryder grumbled as he turned toward the garage, pulled on a baseball hat, and hustled out the door.

"We need to get going," Lissa pointed out to Nolan. She walked over and hugged Owen.

"Let me know how it goes," Owen grinned as he returned the sentiment.

"We will. Love you, Dad," Nolan voiced as he hugged his dad. "Have fun with Molly."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Dammit. It completely slipped my mind," Owen confessed as he spoke to Patricia on the phone shortly before lunch.

"That's why I called, Doctor," she told him. "It's not like you to slide in right before a meeting like this."

"I'm watching my granddaughter…" Owen thought aloud. Lynne was at the dentist with Olivia and the Littles. "I'll… uh… figure something out, Patricia. Stall him if he arrives before I do. Maybe Torres or Bailey could provide a tour or something."

"No worries, Dr. Hunt," she assured him. "I'll make sure a backup plan is in place."

Owen placed Molly in a bouncy seat and moved her to the bathroom. He hopped in the shower and dressed quickly, grabbing a suit, shirt, and tie without much thought. Carrying Molly in his arms, he rushed down the stairs. She giggled as she bounced up and down. Within record time, Owen and Molly arrived at the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"You're chewing on that pen like it's a rawhide," Arizona observed with concern as she approached Amelia. Amelia was seated at the Nurses' Station, studying the computer screen with intensity.

Keeping the pen in her mouth, Amelia glanced up then returned her focus to the screen. Arizona pulled up an extra chair and wheeled up next to her friend. A recent hospital newsletter filled the screen and Amelia had enlarged O'Leary's bio on the screen. Arizona drew her brows toward the bridge of her nose and regarded Amelia from the corner of her eye.

"Why are you…" Arizona began stuttering.

Amelia interrupted as if she was describing an utterly serious and inoperable butterfly tumor, "I'm trying to figure her out."

Whispering, Arizona placed her hand on the mouse and closed the screen, "If you're going to stalk the interns, you might want to be more discreet." Roving her eyes near and far, Arizona added quietly, "These walls have ears."

Amelia fell back and slouched into the chair and whispered, "Apparently, she's messing around with my husband."

"Come on," Arizona insisted as she pulled Amelia to standing. She led the neurosurgeon toward the elevator and repeatedly pushed the call button.

"I'm having a hard time sorting…" Amelia began as they waited.

"Shhh," Arizona encouraged.

"I am fully capable of speaking in code," Amelia insisted in a quiet voice.

Lowering her chin toward one shoulder and peeking up through her eyelashes, Arizona stated flatly, "Amelia…"

The two boarded the elevator and Arizona chose a floor. Arizona figured they would not see as many familiar faces in the Hematology Department, so she led her there. The two ducked into a storage room and Arizona closed the door.

With a wry smile, Amelia quipped, "I… uh… appreciate the offer. You're a beautiful lady, but, well…"

"Oh, shut up," Arizona huffed with mock disgust. "Now sit down."

The two slid onto the floor and leaned against some shelves. Amelia placed her arms around her bent legs and rested her chin on her knees. Waiting for her friend to begin speaking, Arizona positioned likewise and stared at the door.

After an awkward silence, Arizona voiced, "So…"

"He's having an affair," Amelia revealed with a cracking voice.

"You know this for certain? He told you? You caught him?" Arizona quizzed.

"No," Amelia clarified, "but I've heard whispers all around the hospital. People are looking at me with pity."

"I haven't noticed anyone looking at you any differently than normal, Amelia," Arizona stated with reassurance.

"Last week," Amelia recounted, "I was standing in the back of the elevator. My face was buried in a chart and some interns from another department stepped on. They were laughing and talking about O'Leary in her absence, saying that she had hooked up with the Chief. I leaned an ear their direction and one of them sighed and stated that O'Leary was using the age old method of sleeping her way to the top. I didn't make much of it until I was at a counter at the ER later the same day and one of the residents asked another resident if she'd seen Owen. The response was, 'Is O'Leary around or is she missing too?' The first resident confirmed that O'Leary wasn't around either. The second resident responded, 'Have you checked the back rooms and on call rooms? They're probably together.'"

"You know how this place thrives on gossip, Amelia. Concluding Owen's having an affair based on resident banter isn't wise," Arizona suggested.

"I stopped at his office this morning. He's home with Molly until the kids get back from court, so I let myself in. Since I forgot my wallet at home, I figured he might have some money in a desk drawer or in his lab coat. When I pulled out $10, a note in his handwriting fell to the ground. I looked at it before putting it back in his pocket. He'd written, _O'Leary – her purse in SUV?_ "

"Did you ask him about it?" Arizona inquired.

"No," Amelia sighed as she sniffled.

"Has he been acting strange at home?" Arizona questioned.

"Not really. We've been busy with my mom and all the kids in town," Amelia reported.

Arizona set her hand on Amelia's shoulder, "I'm not convinced he's cheating on you."

"I don't want to believe it," Amelia eeked out as she began to weep.

Rather than adding more words, Arizona wrapped her arm around her friend. In response, Amelia rested her head on Arizona's shoulder and cried.

A few minutes later, the door to the storage room opened a crack. The women heard Molly's babbling and glanced at each other quizzically. Then they heard Owen's voice as he explained to someone in the hallway, "Great question. We try to keep supplies well stocked, especially in a department like hematology. In fact, oncology, hematology, and immunology are participating in a pilot program where they share a nurse specifically charged with overseeing the efforts to remain perpetually and fully stocked."

Amelia and Arizona met eyes anxiously. Arizona whispered to Amelia, "Stand up, turn your back, and wipe off your face. You have mascara running down your cheeks. Go toward that corner and pretend you're stocking supplies. I'll cover this." Wiping her eyes, Amelia followed Arizona's suggestion but bumped into a shelf filled with small, loose tools. The implements crashed loudly as they scattered on the floor. Amelia knelt on the floor and busied herself with the clean-up efforts.

The door opened widely and the chaos of the room became apparent. The doctor Owen was attempting to woo surveyed the area skeptically. O'Leary stood behind the two men and took in the scene. With half a laugh, Owen stated, "Obviously she must be sick today."

"Dr. Hunt," Arizona greeted the Chief warmly. She shifted her gaze to the visitor and extended her hand as she attempted to nudge the men and baby back into the hallway, "Dr. Arizona Robbins, Maternal-Fetal Medicine."

"Dr. Royce Sterling," the visitor replied with a grim demeanor and monotone voice as he shook Arizona's hand. He didn't budge backward. Instead, he scanned the room and mentally inventoried the supplies. His gaze fell toward Amelia who instantly sensed that she was being watched.

"Mia… uh… umm… thank you for taking your down time to check in on the room. Really, you didn't have to," Owen fumbled in front of Dr. Sterling. "Dr. Sterling, the Head of Neurosurgery and my wife, Amelia Shepherd."

With a wide smile, and faint hints of mascara remaining on her cheeks, Amelia stood and extended her hand. After she and Sterling connected, Amelia glanced at Owen and tried to assist him in his creative story. "No problem… honey… I heard there was a need and, like you said, I had an hour." With a playful shrug, she added, "If only I wasn't so clumsy. Instead of helping maintain order, I created more mess." Understandably puzzled and unable to maintain a poker face, O'Leary watched the conversation unfold.

Molly reached for Amelia, opening and closing her hands as she leaned toward her grandma. With fake remorse, Amelia chuckled, "And by being here, you couldn't find me so I could watch Molly while you met with Dr. Sterling. I apologize." Amelia lifted Molly from Owen's arms as Owen swallowed and attempted to sort out the series of fibs and cover ups. O'Leary briefly patted Owen's back in order to remind him to continue the tour.

"Well," Owen inhaled as he wrapped his hand around the back of his neck. "We'll… uh… continue our tour. Doctors," he concluded with a nod. Once Sterling was past him, Owen squished his eyebrows together as he blinked rapidly. He brought his hand forward and rubbed his forehead as he mouthed, "What the hell?" Since Dr. Sterling could see her, Amelia smiled in response.

Unconsciously, Owen closed the door after his exit. He, O'Leary, and Sterling continued their tour.

"That wasn't awkward at all," Amelia claimed sarcastically.

Arizona approached Molly and let Molly grab her watch. With a breathy, upbeat voice, she sang, "Hello, beautiful baby. How are you?" Molly smiled and tried to put the watch in her mouth.

With a rapid knock, O'Leary entered the room and announced, "Dr. Hunt sent me to assist with the clean-up. How can I help?"

"There are so many ways to help, aren't there?" Amelia mumbled.

"How about if you finish picking up the instruments?" Arizona suggested. "They'll need to be re-sterilized and re-stocked. Dr. Shepherd, you're scheduled for surgery, aren't you?"

"Right… yes," Amelia sputtered. "I do… I'm due in surgery."

O'Leary glanced at Amelia, forced a small smile, and then began picking up the mess. Amelia attempted to discern if O'Leary was throwing her a cat-who-ate-the-canary grin or if O'Leary felt pity for the seemingly scattered neurosurgeon.

"Excuse me," Amelia offered as she walked past O'Leary.

Arizona followed her friend and whispered, "Why was she with Owen and that guy?"

"Right?" Amelia huffed. "I wasn't aware that interviews now included an intern escort."

Grabbing the diaper bag and throwing it over her shoulder, Arizona reached for Molly and offered, "I'll take the baby. Go take a walk or grab some coffee."

"Thanks," Amelia blinked with watery eyes. Stepping away, Amelia left her phone in the diaper bag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'


	49. Chapter 49 - The View From Here

**Chapter 49**

 **An Imperfect Life – The View from Here**

 **Thursday, August 7** **th**

"Quite the view, isn't it?" Captain Adam Caldwell declared as the trio reached the summit of Bare Mountain.

Ryder extended his hand to Julie as she approached the last tall step. She smiled and grasped it, even though she didn't need the assistance. The second she was on equal ground with her father and Ryder, she released her grip and slowly turned in a circle to take in the view.

"Worth the 3200' elevation gain, Itsy-kit?" Adam nudged his daughter before pulling her tightly to his side and kissing the top of her head.

Wiping her lower arm over her forehead, Julie blew out an enormous breath. "Yes, Sir," she replied enthusiastically. "What a gorgeous view – the mountains are breathtaking."

"Hunt?" Adam called out without turning around.

Ryder had been leaning against a large rock and drinking water when Julie's dad called out. "Sir?" he answered speedily.

"Which is more breathtaking – my daughter or this view?" the father tested with a mischievous smile.

"Julie, of course. After all, she resembles you," Ryder b.s.'ed.

"Ha! Ultimate in kiss up, Dad!" Julie guffawed. "Good one, RB. Impressive," she nodded toward Ryder, who winked at her in response.

Adam leaned against Ryder and taunted, "So you've been studying my daughter's looks, hmm?"

"Sir…" Ryder droned. "Only when I'm not seeing beyond them and into her pure, precious soul," he added dreamily.

Adam shook his head slowly. He commented, "You're quick, Hunt. Very sharp."

"Thank you," Ryder smiled proudly.

With a warning tone that could be interpreted as either playful or intimidating, Adam leaned close to Ryder's face and stated, "Now stop looking into my daughter's soul."

Julie glanced upward and then at Ryder, mouthing, "Sorry." Ryder shrugged and turned around. He grabbed a water from his backpack and offered it to Adam, who appreciated the offer.

On the hike down, Julie seemed determined to maintain the lead. Ryder couldn't decide if he should step ahead and hike close to her, find his own zone, or be near Adam. Since Ry didn't want to appear as if he was avoiding Adam, he stayed near him for most of the eight mile trek. The two exchanged limited words that mostly pertained to the condition of the trail and the wildflowers dotting the landscape.

Every now and then, Adam would ask a "Dad question." Each time, Ryder responded respectfully and courteously. At one point, Ryder pointed out, "You do know, Sir, that we're friends, right? Not a couple."

From a few steps ahead, Julie heard Ryder's words and internally sighed. From the beginning, they'd both been clear about not crossing the line into a relationship. Ryder treasured her as a friend and seemed reluctant to put that at risk. For her part, Julie wasn't allowed to date. Even though she knew Ryder's reputation and playboy ways, a small part of Julie couldn't help but pine for him.

"Yes, yes, so I hear," Adam acknowledged. "Maybe that's even more of a concern – I want my girl to surround herself with solid, reliable, trustworthy friends. Boyfriends come and go."

Ryder wasn't sure what to make of Adam's last sentence. As far as he knew, Julie had only been on a date about five times. Adam was incredibly strict and protective, forbidding ongoing relationships and thoroughly screening and interrogating the young men who had made the mistake of asking Julie to a school dance.

As Julie hiked ahead by herself, she flashed back to memories from the summer. _One night, when Ryder and Julie were in North Carolina, they lay on the grass and stared at the stars. Not having to look directly at one another provided more emotional space to open up about their deepest selves. Julie disclosed bits and pieces about her mother's death from cancer, her father's strict expectations, and her loneliness. Ryder echoed some of Julie's sentiments by admitting how deeply he continued to miss his bio mom even though he was nuts about his adoptive mother. When he shared his angst about his somewhat strained relationship with Owen, he uttered words about his pain and sadness that he had never spoken. He even tipped his hat to the difficulty of following in Nolan's footsteps._

 _As the night darkened, Julie made Ryder promise not to tease her about something she wanted to tell him. After he assured her that he would honor what she had to say, she confessed that she had never kissed a boy. "My dad has done everything in his power to prevent it," she reported. "At first, when I was in junior high, I wasn't the only girl that could say that. Now, it's at a point where I feel weird – like I don't know how to do it and like I'm some awkward loser. I avoid it at all costs."_

" _Do you want to cross that line?" Ryder questioned casually without sitting up as his head rested on a folded up blanket set on the grass._

" _Umm," Julie swallowed. "I… I'm… well… maybe?"_

 _Ryder sat up and embraced his bent legs, explaining, "I'm not trying to pull something on you, Jules. I promise. If you want to get your first kiss over with so you can feel like you know what you're doing when opportunity strikes, I'm here. But we're friends. I'd be kissing you as a favor to a friend. It wouldn't mean we're in some romantic, swooning relationship or anything." After pausing for a few seconds, he added, "And it's totally fine if you don't want to kiss me. Really. We're friends no matter what."_

" _It's getting chilly. Maybe we should head inside," Julie responded with a mixture of apprehension, delight, and anxiety._

" _Sure," Ryder readily agreed. The two said nothing as Ryder walked Julie back to her dorm._

 _When they arrived at the steps of the building, the normally tough and sassy Julie became awkward and shy. "I think I'd like to take you up on that offer, but not tonight."_

" _I shouldn't have said anything," Ryder grinned. "I freaked you out. I'm sorry."_

" _It's not that," Julie tried to explain. "I've had boys try to kiss me before, but I've never had someone offer and actually wait for my answer. Thanks, Ry."_

" _Good night, then," Ryder nodded with a soft smile. Julie proceeded up the stairs and stepped into the building as Ryder watched her move further and further away._

 _The next day in class, both Ryder and Julie acted as if the kissing conversation had never taken place. Back to their sarcastic and teasing comments, the two fell into what had become their pattern. Later, Julie and her friend, Ashley, approached the outside basketball court where a group of guys were playing 4 on 4. The ladies sat at a nearby picnic table and watched._

 _Ashley sighed and asked, "Do you think guys like Ryder even see regular girls like me?"_

" _What do you mean?" Julie prodded without taking her eyes off Ryder._

" _The hot guys, the popular guys… I always feel like they're in their own league and that I'm at least a level or two lower. He seems like such a nice person and he's always opening doors and all that. He seems different than most of the other hot guys," Ashley babbled with starry yet disappointed eyes that sunk into their sockets._

" _I think you've watched too much Lifetime Movie Network," Julie quipped. "If a guy doesn't notice you – no matter who he is – why would you want to be with him? You're better than that, Ash."_

" _Hey," Ryder greeted as he ran up to the table with a half empty water bottle in hand and sweat dripping off his hair._

" _Hi," Julie smirked. "Ryder, do you know Ashley?"_

 _As if he'd been prompted, even though he had no clue what the girls had just discussed, Ryder smiled and noted, "I've seen you around, but haven't met you yet. Great to put a name to the familiar face."_

" _Likewise," Ashley muttered as calmly and steadily as she could manage._

 _Ryder offered a mild frown to Julie and explained, "Time out's over. See you, ladies. Ashley, nice meeting you."_

" _I can't believe I'm using this word," Ashley swooned, "but he's dreamy."_

" _Oh my…" Julie groaned._

 _A few nights later, Ryder was studying at the library. After gathering his research, he headed down the stairs and toward the main desk. Julie was already in line and was waiting to check out a few books._

" _Hey, Jules," Ryder smiled as he stopped and stood behind her._

" _Hi," she smiled back briefly as she looked over her shoulder at him. She turned back around and let her eyes wander around the library. Only moving her head enough that one eye could see him, she requested, "Would you mind walking me back to my dorm when we're finished here?"_

" _No problem," Ryder glanced up from the back cover of a book._

 _The two checked out their materials and stepped outside to a warm North Carolina night. A soft breeze helped lighten the thick humid air. After exchanging dialogue about the topics they were researching, Julie paused and bore her eyes into Ryder's._

" _I kind of feel like an idiot asking this," she began as she leaned against a tall tree._

 _Ryder set his books on the ground and softly grasped her hand, "Then don't ask."_

 _With a shy chuckle, Julie lowered her head and stared at the ground. Ryder brought his free hand up to her chin and gently coaxed it upward until they were eye to eye. His captivating green eyes held a caring stare before he whispered, "Should I back away?" Julie shook her head and licked her lips unconsciously. Leaning closer, Ryder quieted his voice even more and inquired, "Should I kiss you?" Compared to his interactions with other girls, this exchange lasted for what seemed like years. Yet, each micro-second was surreal and exquisite._

 _Julie blinked and smiled, "Sure."_

" _Friends. Just a friend helping out a friend, right?" Ryder confirmed. Julie nodded as she watched Ryder lean closer. She closed her eyes and felt his strong hand wrap around the back of her head as their lips met. Her first kiss was not a simple peck on the cheek or a quick, closed mouth effort. Their lips met and kissed repeatedly. With phenomenal tenderness and pacing, Ryder slipped his tongue onto hers briefly. Ending the exchange with a few soft kisses and by rubbing his nose gently against hers, Ryder dropped his hand from her head and rested it on the side of her upper arm. Pulling away slowly, Ryder smiled and whispered, "You never have to feel like you don't know what you're doing."_

 _Julie's stomach churned with butterflies as her head became light and airy. "Yeah," she replied, using the word because it was all the normally self-assured, capable woman could say._

 _As he picked up his books, Ryder glanced upward and winked, "The next kiss will be even better because it'll be with a guy you've actually imagined kissing. He'll sweep you off your feet, you'll have an obnoxiously adorable crush on him, and I'll be there to listen as you tell me all about it." Turning away from the tree, Ryder glanced at the stairs about 30 feet away and observed, "Here's your dorm." He began toward his own dorm and playfully bumped his shoulder against hers, "Bye bye, dragonfly."_

" _Take care, polar bear," she giggled as a part of her heart sunk. Julie traipsed up the steps and stood at the door watching Ryder until he was out of sight._

 _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'_

"She's still a keeper, huh?" the gruff judge grumbled as Lissa and Nolan sat in front of the judge's desk next to their attorney.

"Even after a middle of the night trip to the ER for an ear infection," Lissa grinned.

"Hmmph," the judge responded as he shuffled through the papers strewn in front of him. He picked up an evaluation written by the Seattle social worker who had visited them the previous week. "This all looks good," he commented to himself aloud. Furrowing his brows, he leaned toward Nolan imposingly and queried, "Where will you be living in England? You're not planning to backpack around Europe with a baby, are you?"

"We have a friend from USC who already moved to London. He and his wife were able to locate a flat near Oxford for us. He skyped with me and I was able to tour it virtually," Nolan reported without commentary.

"And furniture? Are you putting Molly to bed in a dresser drawer or will she have a crib?" the gruff judge tested.

"The crib is already set up and waiting for her. The flat already has a bed for us, a sofa, and basic kitchen supplies. We'll complete the process when we arrive in England," Nolan detailed.

"Seems like you've thought of everything, Mr. Tremblay-Hunt," the judge muttered, almost as if he was disappointed. Nolan and Lissa already knew, however, that the gruff exterior was part of his act.

"I see no reason to delay Molly's adoption," the judge stated plainly as he signed a paper and handed it to the attorney. "Take this to the clerk's office. I've noted they need to expedite the paperwork." He stood and leaned toward Nolan, extending his hand, "Congratulations, Mr. Tremblay Hunt. I anticipate seeing you early next spring when Molly's sibling is born." Nodding at Lissa, the judge added, "I have no doubt you are both incredible parents and a true blessing to Molly."

"She's a blessing to us," Lissa replied. "Thank you, Your Honor."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

O'Leary finished tidying the supply closet and blew out a breath of air as she leaned against the shelves. Dr. Shepherd seemed to dislike her, but Jane couldn't understand why. More than once, she had jumped to Dr. Shepherd's or Dr. Hunt's special requests. She'd even driven to the airport to pick up their daughter-in-law. Then again, the airport run ended in chaos. Maybe that was enough to end up on Dr. Shepherd's bad side.

Although she understood that Dr. Hunt had sent to her to help Amelia so that he and Dr. Sterling could finish the department tour and discuss contract options, Jane was disappointed. Not feeling that surgery was the right fit for her, she was eager to learn more about Hematology and figure out if it would remain on her list of options.

She stood up and made her way to the Chief's office. Oftentimes, being on the Chief's service was filled with waiting and re-routing. He had told her to check in with him once the closet was in order. If he was behind closed doors with Sterling, she was expected to report to the ER.

As she crossed the skybridge, O'Leary saw Dr. Shepherd leaning against the rail and gazing at the trees outside. Working up her courage, she decided to approach her. "Dr. Shepherd?" O'Leary inquired tentatively.

"What?" Amelia snapped harshly, glaring at the intern.

"Do you… um… do you have a moment," O'Leary questioned.

With a sigh, Amelia turned toward the intern and stared at her blankly. As if she was being inconvenienced, Amelia groused, "I suppose, O'Leary. What do you need?"

"Ma'am," O'Leary began. "I may be incorrect on this, but I have a sense I've landed on your bad side. If I have, I'd like another chance."

Amelia scoffed, wanting to respond, _Then stop screwing my husband, you little bitch._ Knowing better, she folded her arms and challenged, "What gives you that sense, O'Leary?"

"If I may, Ma'am… I've watched you interact with others and you tend to be warm and jovial. With me, your tone is… well… a bit more… curt," Jane struggled to explain, sensing the conversation wasn't unfolding well.

"Are you here to learn or to make friends, O'Leary?" Amelia questioned. Walking by, Arizona slowed her steps and then leaned against the opposite rail and pretended to check her phone.

"To learn, Ma'am," the intern responded uneasily.

"Then toughen up and get over your hurt feelings. You'll experience enough pain and angst as a surgeon. If you can't get over an attending being firm and abrupt, you'll never last," Amelia advised as she bore her eyes into O'Leary's.

O'Leary drew in her lips and softly replied, "I'm sorry to have wasted your time, Ma'am." She walked away and continued toward Owen's office.

"What was that?" Arizona challenged after crossing the walkway and approaching her friend.

Noticing Arizona's empty arms, Amelia ignored Arizona's inquiry and wondered aloud, "Where's Molly?"

"With Karev," Arizona reported before repeating, "What just happened with O'Leary?"

With venom, Amelia whispered, "O'Leary is afraid we've gotten off on the wrong foot."

"Judging by how you just spoke to her, I'd agree," Arizona pointed out. "Come with me," she insisted as she pulled on Amelia's arm and proceeded toward the conference room across from Owen's office. Through the glass wall, they saw O'Leary sitting in front of Owen's desk. When they passed the office, the door was open and both women heard his voice.

"Now listen," Arizona insisted after closing the conference room door. "First off, you don't get to be rude to an intern because you're having a bad day. Secondly, about this affair idea - all you have to go on is scuttlebutt. You have no proof, not even any clues or hints, that Owen is sleeping with her. Thirdly, if you have problems in your marriage, Amelia, those need to stay at home."

"You're the new behavior police?" Amelia challenged with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm your friend and I'm watching you sob one minute and flip out the next. I see you uber-focused in surgery one second and, I don't know…, almost drowning in an emotional puddle the next. What's going on?" Arizona's voice became gentler as she reassured her friend.

Knocking on the door and proceeding to enter, Owen firmly requested, "Dr. Shepherd, a moment?" He turned to Arizona and apologized, "I'm sorry for interrupting, Dr. Robbins."

"I'll let you have the room," Arizona replied as she kept her eyes fixed on Amelia.

"Hey," Amelia sighed to her husband.

"Sit down," the Chief of Staff ordered.

"Excuse me?" she challenged.

"Sit down, Doctor," Dr. Hunt insisted. Amelia sat down slowly, studying Owen's face and wondering why he was steaming. He disclosed, "I have no idea what you said to O'Leary, but I _saw_ you speaking with her. You appeared hostile and abrupt. Did I read that interchange accurately?"

"What happened, Owen?" Amelia pressed, blurring the lines between husband and Chief. "Did she come running to you for comfort because the mean neurosurgeon wouldn't be her best buddy?"

"What is your deal?" he countered.

"Why do you shower her with special treatment?" Amelia challenged.

Owen's pager sounded and he glanced down at it. "Dammit. ER 911. We'll continue this conversation later," he stated.

"Yes. Yes, we will," Amelia mumbled to herself as Owen ran out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Chief, it's a zoo in here," Torres described as Owen burst through the doors of the trauma room. "30 year old male, MVA – motorcycle versus pick up. Road rash from shoulders to knees. Right leg has multiple fractures but he's complaining about belly pain."

Owen rushed over and nodded briefly at O'Leary. As his intern, she'd already been pulled in. "SATs?"

"Gathering them now, Sir," the overwhelmed intern reported.

Frowning at O'Leary's answer, Owen leaned down to the patient and inquired, "Any headache or throbbing in your head?" The patient told him no. "How about nausea?" Owen asked next.

"Yeah," the patient confirmed, "a lot."

"We need c-spine and chest films. Where's the ultrasound?" Owen called out. "And someone page Derek Shepherd."

"Dr. Shepherd isn't due in for another hour, sir," the nurse reported. "Shall I call your wife? She's here."

"No. Try Nelson," Owen barked. Callie looked up and moved her chin toward her shoulder as she quickly surveyed Owen. He ordered O'Leary, "Check motor response." She nodded and began her exam.

"Six," O'Leary reported.

"That's a total GCS of 14. E3V5M6," Owen stated for the charting nurse.

"Doc?" the patient mumbled, "Doc, I can't feel my right leg."

"That's because you have multiple fractures in it," Torres explained. "O'Leary, how did you come to a six if the right leg is numb?"

"I… I tested the left since you were working on the right," she explained anxiously.

"Sit it out, O'Leary," Hunt asserted. "Get a resident in here to replace you pronto."

Callie reassessed the motor response and quietly corrected, "It's mixed. Probably more of a 3 or 4, so GCS of 10-11. We need neuro."

"Dr. Nelson is on his way," the nurse reported.

"Get a CFM started. Patient is hypotensive," Owen ordered.

Amelia burst through the doors, bellowing, "Why wasn't neuro called sooner?" She proceeded to the patient and attempted to converse with him. He was becoming disoriented and falling in and out of consciousness.

"He's deteriorating on verbal and has been complaining of pain in right lower quadrant," Owen shared with her.

Narrowing her eyes, Amelia tried to perform a basic neuro exam. The patient was semi-cooperative. Then she ran a GCS herself. "Unbelievable," she snapped to whomever could hear her. To the room, she announced, "He has some sort of TBI. Let's get him to the OR stat." She shook her head as she dismissed the other surgeons in the room, "Torres, the leg will have to wait. I'll need a general surgeon on the gut. Someone page Grey."

"And the blood will pool and clot," Torres argued.

"Do you want me to save his life or are we only worried that his leg looks pretty?" Amelia sounded off as she pushed the bed toward the door with a team of assistants. Sweat was dripping off Amelia's hair.

Left in the room alone, Hunt and Torres both leaned against a table to re-group. "She was diaphoretic," Callie commented.

Confused, Owen asked, "What? The patient was a male."

"Shepherd. Sweat was pouring from her head. Is she ill?" Torres clarified and wondered.

"Just bitchy," Owen mumbled as he threw off his trauma robe. "I'm going to the gallery to oversee this train wreck. Coming with me?"

The surgeons entered the gallery and spotted two interns observing the surgery. O'Leary was one of them. After sitting in the front row, Owen turned to O'Leary and offered, "Two things. One, let's make time to go through GCS procedure after this surgery. Two, did you leave a purse in my SUV? There's one in there and I don't know…"

"Yes," O'Leary reported with relief. "That's where it is. I must have left it there when I ran to the airport to pick up Lissa."

"I'll bring it in and leave it with Patricia," Owen promised before turning around to watch the surgery.

After 45 minutes, the two interns were due in a skills lab. When they departed, Owen and Callie were left alone. Callie surveyed the room to make sure they were alone before pointing out, "You're walking a thin line."

"By sitting here instead of being down there? I'm probably safer up here, far away from my scalpel wielding wife," Owen huffed.

Callie lowered her eyebrows and shook her head. "Are you aware of the rumors going around?" she prodded.

With a scoff, Owen purported, "If I kept track of all the rumors around this place, I wouldn't have time to do my job. What's your point, Torres?" He kept his eyes fixed on the OR, not taking Callie's question seriously.

"You have no idea, do you?" she questioned with shock. Owen shrugged without verbally responding. "Owen," Callie stated emphatically. "Owen? This is serious."

"What?" he turned abruptly and snapped.

"Hey, I'm your pal in this scenario. Don't take your crap out on me," Callie insisted. Owen stared at her and waited for her to continue. "There's a rumor bouncing off every wall of this hospital that you and O'Leary are an item." Owen pulled his head backward and widened his eyes before swallowing uncomfortably.

"We're losing him!" Amelia called out in the OR.

"Pulse is weak," Meredith reported as she scrambled to address the abdominal injuries. "Flatline! He's too open for paddles."

Amelia yelled, "Starting internal heart massage. Page cardio."

The chaos below captured Callie's and Owen's attention and drew them away from Callie's comment. They worked on the patient diligently for twenty minutes. From all of the force of attempted resuscitation, his blood was pouring out and onto the floor rapidly. Amelia pronounced the patient's death, calling, "Time of death. 13:21."


	50. Chapter 50 - Come Together

**Chapter 50**

 **An Imperfect Life – Come Together**

 **Thursday, August 7** **th** **– late afternoon and evening**

Amelia and Arizona sat outside the cafeteria eating lunch without much discussion. The commitment to eat together that day had been made prior to the unfinished conversation they shared in the conference room.

"I have a theory," Arizona stated plainly, attempting to gain a sense of Amelia's mood.

"About?" Amelia questioned as she gathered a fork-full of salad.

Arizona pursed her lips before disclosing, "Your mood swings and diaphoresis."

"Now I'm a sweaty bitch?" Amelia scoffed.

"Are you having hot flashes?" Arizona pressed, ignoring Amelia's bait.

Trying to downplay her reality, Amelia admitted, "Sometimes, I guess."

"Are you more tired than usual?" the doctor asked her friend.

"Arizona," Amelia quipped. "I have six children, a mother who just left after an extended visit, and I'm a neurosurgeon. I'm always tired."

"Confusion? Minor disorientation?" she kept asking.

"What's your point?" Amelia questioned as she chewed on some lettuce.

"You're peri-menopausal and need hormones," Arizona declared, bracing herself for Amelia's reaction.

Amelia shook her head and rolled her eyes, "And what? You're just the doc to fix me?"

"I could care less who prescribes the hormones, Amelia. But, honey, you need them. You're… well… you're a wreck," Arizona grimaced. "I'm going to order some bloodwork. Go to the lab and humor me."

The two continued to eat without conversation. Amelia had a hunch Arizona was correct. Even so, Amelia was in a disagreeable mood and didn't feel cooperative. After a tension-filled five minutes, Nolan and Lissa approached.

With great relief, Nolan blurted, "There you are, Mom!"

"Yep, here I am. What's that supposed to mean?" Amelia responded with an edge as she motioned for the couple to have a seat.

"We've been calling and calling," Lissa conveyed with anxiety. "Where's Molly?"

"Oh," Amelia nodded. "She's with Karev. He was down here with her a few minutes ago. Go check the other outdoor area."

Nolan remained seated as Lissa excused herself. Lissa, a mama without knowledge of her baby's whereabouts, was obviously tense and frustrated.

"You could've made this a lot easier on her if you'd answered your phone," Nolan pointed out as calmly as possible. Amelia threw her fork onto the table and stared at Nolan. He did not wilt or back down. Before she responded, Nolan claimed, "Really, Mom. Is that too much to ask?"

Gathering the contents of her tray, Amelia prepared to leave the table. "No, Nolan, it's not. If I knew where the hell my phone was, I would have gladly answered it. Pardon my imperfection," she snapped before walking away.

Awkwardly, Arizona and Nolan were left at the table. "She's peri-menopausal," Arizona explained with gritted teeth and wide lips, trying to help excuse her friend's behavior.

With a grin, Nolan remarked, "She's my mother. TMI, Dr. Robbins. TMI."

Smirking and excusing herself, Arizona admitted, "I suppose so."

Left alone at the table, Nolan steepled his hands and mumbled to himself, "Oh, and by the way, the adoption's official. You are truly a grandma now, you cranky old bitty."

"Who are you talking to?" Lissa wondered as she stepped to the table with Molly in her arms and the diaper bag handle resting on her shoulder. Molly kicked with joy when she saw her daddy.

He stood up and grasped Molly's foot, "Hi, Soccer girl. That kick is looking better every day." As Molly reached for him, Nolan took his daughter into his arms, closed his eyes, and kissed her baby-fine hair. He wrapped an arm around Lissa and suggested, "Shall we go celebrate?"

With a giggle, Lissa inquired, "Sure. What's that going to look like?"

"How about a family nap all snuggled together?" he grinned.

"You know exactly the way to my mama heart, Nolan James," Lissa laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

That evening, Owen did not arrive home until after dinner. He and Ryder drove in at the same time. Owen left his garage door open as Ryder parked in the driveway.

"Got a minute?" Owen inquired. He was emotionally, physically and intellectually exhausted after his peculiar day.

"I guess," Ryder yawned and shrugged. He leaned against the SUV parked in the garage and looked at his dad.

"What's up with you and your brother?" Owen inquired with concern as he stretched his neck.

Ryder sighed audibly, "This isn't as big of a deal as you and Nolan are forcing it to be."

"What is it, then?" Owen questioned as he raised his shoulders.

"Since he's been back, he's all full of himself. He's Mr. Sophisticated Adult and treats me like he can't take me seriously. More than once, he's spouted off crap about me not being able to understand. Give me a break. Who does he think he is?" Ryder complained.

"He's your brother, Ryder, and he's going through a great deal of stress," Owen stated. "This isn't about you."

"Pffft," Ryder sounded. "The guy pockets fancy pieces of paper from USC and is chosen as a Rhodes Scholar. Now he's too good for me. Mr. Hot Shot, 'I'm all that.'"

"Now you're making this into something it isn't," Owen observed flatly.

Bursting out the door, Ria and Lucas ran into the garage and exclaimed, "Daddy!"

"Daddy, you missed dinner. You hardly ever miss dinner," Ria summarized. Amelia stood in the doorway and watched the scene, drawing her shaky hand up to her hair.

"We played Highs and Lows, Daddy, but now we need to hear yours," Lucas declared happily.

The sides of Owen's eyes wrinkled as he smiled at his kids. He glimpsed his distraught wife and held his gaze. "Go back inside. I'll be in there in a minute to share all sorts of highs and lows. Can you send Nolan out here?"

The kids ran inside and Amelia closed the door once they entered the hallway. A moment later, Nolan stepped into the garage with a curious gaze. "What's up?" he asked.

"I'm hoping to encourage the two of you to sit down together and sort out the tension," Owen explained. "I can stay and mediate or just be present. If you'd rather, I can leave the two of you alone."

"I'm open to talk if Ryder is," Nolan said. Ryder shrugged and nodded his head. Nolan added, "I think we'll be good on our own, Dad." Owen nodded and proceeded into the house.

Nolan opened a fridge full of drinks. Unexpectedly, he pulled out an armful of beer and motioned toward the front gate. "If we're gonna talk, let's go to the treehouse."

Agreeing, Ryder followed his brother. Once inside, Ryder fell into a bean bag and settled in. Nolan leaned down and handed his brother a beer.

"Is this some sort of set up?" Ryder sneered with suspicion.

"No," Nolan calmly shook his head. "Do you want it or not?"

Ryder reached up, grasped the beer and opened it. After taking a drink, he mumbled, "Thanks."

"I really pissed you off, didn't I?" Nolan pressed.

"All I've wanted is an update. I want to know what's going on with you guys. Instead, you're both trying to act all happy when I can tell you're both falling apart. When you're dealing with legal bullshit related to adoption, you're trying to convince everyone that you're confident and centered. I'm not an idiot, Nolan."

Nolan stalled by taking a drink of his beer. "Ryder… when I put you off, it was about me."

"Whatever," Ryder responded quickly. Sarcastically, he continued, "I guess it's more than I can handle or understand."

Trying to make eye contact, Nolan studied his little brother. He disclosed, "I'm phenomenally exhausted. All the time. There is so much shit going on in my life. Moving overseas, selling our first house, graduating, arranging Lissa's student teaching… and that's not even everything. I'm too tired to explain all the details. Blowing you off really had nothing to do with you."

Scratching his wayward hair, Ryder responded blankly, "Oh."

"Do you want to know why we were so upset the day you came home?" Nolan inquired.

"If you want me to know," Ryder replied, attempting to seem less interested than he actually was.

Nolan tried to clarify, "It's good news in the long run, but not so good right now."

"Why's that?" Ryder encouraged.

Again, Nolan drank some beer before sharing, "We learned why we keep miscarrying, which is great to know. There's even an easy surgery that can fix it."

"That's great news, isn't it?" Ryder wondered aloud.

Nolan nodded. "Except Lissa's pregnant and she can't have the surgery when she's pregnant. Now we're in this weird space where we'll probably lose the baby, and we can't stop that from happening."

"F #k," Ryder gasped slowly. "That's messed up…wow." Studying his brother's face for a hint about his emotional state, Ryder inquired, "All you do is wait?"

"The doctor mentioned we could terminate," Nolan reported. "We're not going that route."

"Crap," Ryder commentated. "What do Mom and Dad think?"

"They're not saying. They've listened to us and explained some medical details, but they won't weigh in," Nolan detailed.

"When's the baby due?" Ryder wondered aloud.

Nolan laughed. "Liss and I have never been very wise about timing. At this point, we'll have a one year old, a one month old, and a newborn next April."

"And a nervous breakdown by May?" Ryder teased. Nolan held up his beer as if making a toast and then drank it down.

Uncomfortable with the pain and sadness, Ryder abruptly changed the topic. "This adoption thing – with the one who licks faces – she's a keeper, huh?"

"Licking faces is nothing compared to what else she can do," Nolan beamed. "Maybe Uncle Ryder could change the next diaper."

"And maybe Uncle Ryder wouldn't dream of stealing away the precious moments you have with your child," he responded with a chuckle.

As they prepared to leave, Nolan turned back to Ryder and sincerely stated, "I'm really sorry my words sounded like I didn't think you could handle or understand the information. I apologize. The truth is the total opposite: I'm going to need to lean on you in the next few months."

"Get the hell out of here and leave the rest of the beer," Ryder scoffed, burying how much it meant to him to receive Nolan's apology.

Nolan grinned and came back, "Get off your ass before I have to carry it back to the house. C'mon. Let's go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Meanwhile, as the older boys made peace, Amelia sat in bed reading while Owen put the Littles to bed. On the verge of emotionally-laden, unexplained tears, she yawned and wondered what was wrong with her. Maybe Arizona was right; maybe she needed to be taking meds to even out her hormones.

Owen walked in and briefly caught Amelia's eye. He proceeded to the bathroom without a word and started the shower. Seeking respite and a moment of solace, he stood as the water poured over his head and body. For whatever reason, he and Amelia were in a funk and the tension was adding stress to an already stressful life.

After throwing on a pair of boxers, Owen headed toward the bed and slipped under the sheet. He forced a grin when he caught Amelia's eye, then reached for his cell and began scrolling. As he chuckled at a meme, he glanced over at his wife who had looked toward him when she heard his slight laugh.

Holding up the phone and waving it slightly, he explained, "It's nothing. Just a funny quote."

"Mmm Hmm," she acknowledged with a slight smile. Without looking at him, she confessed, "I was cranky with O'Leary today. You were right about that."

"It's like you have it out for her," Owen observed as the two avoided eye contact.

"I'm not sure she's cut out for surgery," Amelia professed. "She becomes too scattered or freezes under pressure."

"She's not so sure either. That's why she was tagging along on that Hematology tour," Owen disclosed. "Which, by the way, brings me back to something I've been meaning to ask. Why were you in that supply room with Arizona?"

"We were talking," Amelia attempted to downplay.

"In Hematology?" he pressed.

She ignored him and mused, "The adoption was finalized today. We celebrated at dinner." She left off the words _without you_ , even though they were on her mind.

Closing his eyes slowly, Owen exhaled, "I'm sorry I missed dinner. Caught up at the hospital. You know how it goes."

"Yep," Amelia uttered.

With a mixed scoff and chuckle, Owen indicated, "Torres told me something outrageous today."

"Really? About what? How to initially treat an injured motorcyclist?" she asked sarcastically, still angered by the death.

"That's out of bounds, Amelia," Owen stated flatly. "We did what we could and switched courses of treatment as the situation unfolded."

Turning away from him and lying on her side, she questioned, "What did Callie tell you?"

"That there are rumors going around about me," Owen shared partially.

"You're the Chief. There are always rumors floating around about you," Amelia responded dryly.

Silence hung in the air briefly as if they both knew what was not being said. Owen set his phone on the nightstand and turned out the bedside lamp. As he settled into bed and lay on his back, he swore, "I'm not having an affair with an intern, Amelia. I haven't been with anyone but you since we were married."

Amelia gazed toward the darkened carpet and began taking shallow breaths. Wanting to believe him, but worried he was lying, she said nothing. Although she'd never known Owen to be dishonest with her, she'd never heard of a cheating husband admitting an affair unless he'd been caught. Softly, she wondered aloud, "How do you suppose that rumor emerged?"

"I don't know," Owen expressed. "She's been on my service lately. There was the day she tried to pick up Liss and Molly and used my rig… it's manufactured crap, Amelia, I swear."

Amelia remained facing away from him, but reached her hand back and grasped his. Pulling their hands to his mouth, Owen kissed her soft skin and rubbed his stubbly beard along it. He guided her hand back toward the bed and continued to hold it as they faded off to sleep.


	51. Chapter 51 - The Waterworks

**Chapter 51**

 **An Imperfect Life – The Waterworks**

 **End of August**

The annual 4th of July party, held in August because Lucas wanted his entire family at his birthday party, was full of joy, stories, and dancing. The yearly Shepherd-Hunt event was a time everyone came together to play and laugh.

Lucas' 7th birthday party was the focus of the first few hours of the festivities. With cake, ice cream, balloons, and party horns, Lucas' day was all he hoped it would be. Amelia arranged for a unicycle riding jokester who juggled bowling pins to entertain the kids in the driveway. In addition to his abilities to manipulate long balloons into a multitude of shapes, animals, and wearables, the man entertained the kids with jokes and stories.

Molly was captivated by his juggling and babbled boisterously for more whenever he stopped. He created a special hat for her to wear that wrapped around her tiny head and held a huge heart at the top. Eventually, the hat had to be passed along to Ria, who, unlike Molly, wouldn't attempt to eat it. Willing to be held and snuggled by anyone and entertaining an audience with her growls and noises, Molly was one of the many stars of the day's festivities.

The Tremblay Hunts could not believe that their move to England was right around the corner. At eight weeks pregnant, Lissa did not have a baby bump and few knew she was expecting. The day prior, as she attended her last appointment in Seattle, Arizona was fairly certain that the baby had attached to the uterus and not the septum. While the pregnancy remained at risk, the news was a relief.

Nolan, in their last days in Seattle, rushed around focusing on details. Passports and legal documents were in order, mail would be forwarded or sent to the Lake House where Owen would either tend to it or forward it to England. Lissa's car had been sold and his beloved Jeep would remain at the house. A limited number of boxes were shipped overseas, minimizing the amount of luggage he'd have to manage at the airport on either end of the trip.

Back in the moment, as the man on the unicycle sang a corny song and juggled away, Julie and Adam arrived. Owen spotted them before Ryder and hurried to welcome them.

"Adam," he began as he extended his hand, "Great to see you again." Since Ryder and Julie returned from the Naval Academy, the Shepherd Hunts and Caldwells had gathered a handful of times.

"Likewise, Owen," Julie's self-assured, perfectly-postured father stated with warmth.

The doctor smiled and turned to Julie. He hugged her as he chuckled, "Hey, Kiddo. Long time no see, huh?"

Julie embraced him back and laughed, "A whole three hours or so, huh?" She had been over earlier in the morning to help with some set up for the party. A hard worker, Owen had praised her efforts and joked that she was worth three Hunt offspring.

"Hi, Caldwells," Amelia sauntered over and leaned in to the conversation. "Are you ready to relax by the lake and nibble on goodies all day?"

"Amelia, no matter how many times we connect, I still swear we've met before this summer," Adam commented with a searching glance.

Laughing and attempting to recall details, Amelia agreed, "You've always looked familiar to me too. We'll both remember when and where at about 3am some night, right?"

"Exactly," Adam smiled softly.

"Adam, can I get you a beer? Soda? Water?" Owen offered as he began to step toward the house.

Julie quickly peeked at her father out of the corner of her eyes. Smoothly, he grinned and responded, "It's a hot day. Water sounds perfect. Let's go, Itsy-kit."

"Can I stay out here with the little kids, Dad? This guy is fun to watch," Julie requested. Adam nodded clearly once and continued with Owen.

"Keep me posted if you wander elsewhere," he told her.

As Owen and Adam continued their trek to the back patio, Owen commented, "We've sure enjoyed having Julie around this summer, Adam. She's a great kid."

"Thanks. Ryder's not so bad, either," Adam chuckled. "Quick witted and highly intelligent. I've enjoyed getting to know him."

"A little too quick witted for his own good most of the time," Owen joked as Adam extended his hand to Richard Webber and greeted him. "Oh, you two know each other?"

"We do," Richard nodded, not disclosing how the two met.

From a picnic table at the other end of the patio, Meredith called for Owen. He excused himself and left Adam with Richard. With Amelia over by the kids' party, Mer wasn't sure where to set some of the food and drinks. Not sure either, Owen guessed and helped himself to a beer.

From the water, Ryder spotted Adam. Even though his girlfriend of the week, Jen, was at the party, Ry ran to the walkway, grabbed a towel and headed toward Adam.

"Dr. Webber, Captain," Ryder stated. "Great to see you both."

Adam patted Ryder's back firmly and observed, "Good Navy boy – already in the water, huh?"

"Something like that," Ryder laughed. He wondered where Julie was, but didn't want to be overt about his interest. "Make sure and help yourself to snacks and everything," Ryder stumbled verbally.

"Julie's in the driveway," Adam stared and informed Ry.

"Oh," Ryder nodded. "Yeah, great. I'll look for her later. Excuse me – I left my date behind to come say hello."

"Who's Julie?" Richard asked Adam after Ryder was out of earshot.

"My daughter. Same age," Adam detailed as both he and Richard watched Ryder goof off in the lake.

"He's got a thing for her, hmm?" Richard reflected.

"Just friends, they tell me," Adam commented. "I used to think there might be more, but, nope, they're pals."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Later, Amelia was in the kitchen refreshing some of the dishes from outside. Adam wandered inside, mostly to take a brief break from the crowd of people.

Amelia saw him come through the sliding glass doors and hollered happily, "Adam! Hey there."

He raised his chin slightly and headed toward the kitchen. He grabbed a fork and loaded some fruit onto a plate. Leaning on the counter, he pointed the fork her way and informed her, "I think I've figured out our connection."

"Yeah?" Amelia questioned with curiosity.

"Bill W. He's a friend of yours?" Adam wondered aloud, referring to AA.

Amelia smirked and caught Adam's eye, "Yeah. Off and on since my teens."

Holding up five fingers, then one, he admitted, "Six years." He looked down and disclosed, "It was my wife's dying wish. Sam, our oldest, hauled me into treatment about three months after Claire died. He was 18, and I was an absolute mess. Itsy…umm… Julie was 11."

"I stole prescription pads when I was a teenager. Pills are my drug of choice, but wine is a close second," Amelia confessed.

"We all have a story," Adam stated clearly.

"Your wife died," Amelia echoed. "She was young."

"She was," Adam confirmed as he took a drink of water. "Ovarian cancer. Fought it like hell for six years. Julie never knew Claire as healthy. Mommy was in bed and sick, weak and tired. Itsy-kit thought all Mommies were like that at one point." He scoffed and continued, "She was shocked when other moms volunteered in 1st grade."

"Itsy-kit. Tell me more," Amelia nudged.

Adam chuckled softly, "Jules was born with a ton of brown hair. When we'd stroke her head, she'd move her head to the side like a cat does when you rub the side of their mouth. Kit… for kitten. She was only 5 pounds at birth – born a few weeks early. Sam was beefy and brawny when he was born, and he weighed nearly 10 pounds. Jules was itsy-bitsy – that's what Claire called her. Claire called her 'my itsy-bitsy kitten.' Over time, Itsy-kit kind of stuck."

A few tears slid down Amelia's cheek. "I'm so sorry Claire died. I can't imagine…"

"I'd better get back out there and check on the kid," he related softly.

"We're here, Adam… I'm here. Owen's here… if you ever need to talk," Amelia offered.

He nodded and whispered, "Thanks."

As Adam stepped outside, he noted he hadn't ever shared so much about Claire at one time. He returned to the driveway and discovered the unicycle/little kid party had broken up. As he scanned the area for Julie, his heart ached as he thought about Claire. Spotting Julie stretched out on the dock in her bikini, he called out pleasantly, "Julia Claire." His voice sounded gentle and benevolent, but Julie knew the use of her full name meant business.

She jumped up and attempted to fake a smile as she hurried over to Adam. He was standing apart from any others and watched her approach. With a broad smile pasted on for anyone watching, he warned, "Why in the hell are you on that dock like that?"

"Everyone's lying around in their swimsuits, Daddy," she pointed out.

"That bikini is bad enough in the water, Julia. If you're not in the water swimming, keep some sort of cover up on. Don't tell me my instructions come as a surprise," he warned seriously.

"No, Sir, it's not a surprise," she gulped and stared at her feet.

"There are too many young men here for you to put on a show," Adam admonished. He cautioned, "Cross the line again and we're leaving."

"I understand," she confirmed as she glanced up at him.

Adam cleared his throat and insisted, "Buck up, put a smile on your face, and go back over there like nothing's wrong. You're having a blast, right?"

With a smile, she nodded and agreed, "Right." Julie turned and blinked repeatedly as she took in slow, deep breaths as she returned to join Lissa and her friends on the dock.

Ryder, in the water, was letting the kids stand on his shoulders and jump into the water. He caught a glimpse, then nodded with a smile at Adam. At some point, Ry hoped he could pull Julie aside and find out what was wrong – he could see through her façade and, as he'd joked previously, into her wounded soul.

"Everything cool?" Lissa inquired with a touch of concern.

"Oh yeah," Julie smiled. "He's just checking in." She faked a laugh and added, "He wanted to make sure I'm having fun." She threw on a loose knit cover up and sat down next to Jen.

"Piper! Get over here!" Ryder demanded with a bellow.

In her own revealing bikini, Piper walked to the edge of the dock and challenged him, "Why, Ryder? Can't survive without me?"

"Jump in, chicken. The water's perfect," he lied as he pulled his head to the side to non-verbally beg.

Piper cannonballed into the water and came to the surface screaming about the cold temperature. She swam over to Ryder and balked, "What's your deal, baby brother?"

"Find out what's up with Julie. Her dad was just hassling her. If I go over there, it'll be too obvious," he requested.

"She said he was checking to make sure she was having a good time," Piper reported.

"That's a bunch of crap," Ryder retorted. "She's faking it right now. He upset her somehow."

"Geesh… Lissa's no fun because she's pregnant. Your girl is only fake happy. What's up with you guys and your chick choices?"

"She's not my girlfriend," Ryder insisted.

"Whatever," Piper shook her head as she turned back toward the dock and swam toward it.

When Piper reached the dock, Nolan was there with a shivering Molly in his hands. Her tiny teeth chattered even though she absolutely did not want to leave the water.

"Baby girl, it's too cold for you," Lissa attempted to reassure her daughter as she crouched down.

Molly's temper was raging at the surface as she pounded the water and tried to pull herself down from Nolan's grip. "Hey there, Molly Jo…" he gently warned. "If your lips turn blue, both you and I will be in trouble." He handed the baby up to Lissa, and Molly screamed mightily. "You got her?" he confirmed with his wife, who nodded as she wrapped a towel around their daughter. Pursing his lips, he lifted himself out of the water to help Lissa anyway.

Lissa swayed back and forth and tried to give Molly a paci. The baby spit it out with attitude and resumed her screaming.

"Man, she's pissed," Ryder commented as he pulled himself onto the dock and glanced quickly at Julie. Adam was seated at a table about 40 feet away, chatting with Owen and Richard. His glance returned to the dock repeatedly.

Ryder walked up to Jen and Julie and shook his wet head, bringing on screams and laughter. Jen threw a towel at him and raised her eyebrows as she focused on his green eyes. Reciprocating, Ryder displayed a coy half-smile and lay down by his date. He rested his head on her legs and grinned. She leaned down and kissed him as she messed up his hair, whispering, "You're nothing but trouble, Ryder Hunt."

Maintaining his grin, he shrugged and pointed out, "You wouldn't have it any other way, Kitten." Jen giggled softly and grasped his hand. She pulled it toward his shoulder and he stretched his fingers out and ran them along her uncovered waist. For her part, Julie pretended not to notice.

"Nole, the paci," Lissa pointed out.

"It's nasty now, Blondie," he declared as he grasped it and threw it in the outer pocket of the diaper bag.

"I know," Lissa clarified. "I didn't want to lose it down here. Thanks for grabbing it."

"What's going on with Miss Molly?" Owen cooed as he arrived at the dock and took his screaming granddaughter into his arms. "Are you all wet and cold?"

"She didn't want to leave the water," Nolan informed his dad.

"Then maybe Papa needs to give her a bath upstairs," Owen offered, thrilled to have a few precious moments with his grandchild.

"You've got a party going on, Dads," Lissa reminded him as she reached for Molly.

Owen turned as he shushed Molly and insisted, "Mommy and Daddy need a break. I've got this."

As Owen approached the patio, Amelia stepped over and rubbed Molly's back. "Someone didn't get her way," Amelia cooed with pity.

"Papa rescued her from her big mean parents," he chuckled. "I thought I'd go run a bath and warm her up a little."

Amelia held up her right pinky and pointed it with her left forefinger. "Right here, Owen. She has you wrapped around right here."

"Yeah," he smirked. "But I'm not Daddy. I can give in to her fits." After fixing her a bottle, he proceeded upstairs shushing and cuddling Molly. Her newfound ability to hold her own bottle took his breath away. Being a grandparent was an experience of pure awe and bliss.

Sliding up the stairs a few minutes later, Amelia joined Owen in the bathroom. They cooed and giggled at every blink, yawn, and smile Molly displayed. Owen wrapped his large hand around Molly's forehead as Amelia rinsed her soft hair. Then Amelia helped Molly balance upright while Owen scrubbed her back.

With four hands swarming her body, Molly was diapered, dressed in jammies, and tickled. Owen and Amelia babbled back and forth with their granddaughter, dreading the reality that she'd soon be an entire continent and ocean away.

"I'm sorry, Miss Molly," Owen cooed. "We're going to keep you here when your Mommy and Daddy move. Papa and Gamma won't let you move far away. No, we won't." In response, Molly laughed and grabbed onto Owen's ear.

Picking Molly up, Amelia flirted, "Gamma's stealing you way from Papa. You're all mine."

Embracing her from behind, Owen rested his chin on Amelia's shoulder and his cheek along her neck. He mused, "We see miracles in our jobs all the time, but nothing trumps this chubby little face in front of us."

"Those big brown eyes," Amelia sighed with awe. "I could look at you all day, Molly girl."

"We should go back to our party, hmm?" Owen suggested.

"Yeah," Amelia agreed grudgingly. "But I get to hold the baby."

Owen kissed his wife's cheek and rubbed his hands along her sides. As he wrapped an arm around her back and set his hand on her shoulder, he guided her toward the stairs. Together, they showed off the baby to anyone who allowed it. Even after Molly fell asleep in Amelia's arms, the baby tour continued.


	52. Chapter 52 - Sigh

**Chapter 52**

 **An Imperfect Life – Sigh**

 **Late August**

 **Three days after the Rescheduled 4** **th** **of July party**

Just before the Tremblay Hunt's departed for England, Lissa and Amelia planned a spa day. Fairly sure Jen was a passing fling, Amelia invited Julie to join them. After coaxing Adam, Amelia was able to convince him to allow Julie to spend the day at the spa and then spend the night at the Lake House. She assured him that Julie would sleep in one of the bedrooms and that no males would be allowed. When she urged Adam to let her mother Julie, he acquiesced.

As they slipped into cozy robes in the locker room at 9:00am, Julie admitted with a hint of embarrassment what Lissa and Amelia already knew, "This is my first time in a spa." Lissa thoughtfully explained spa etiquette to Julie, emphasizing that Julie needn't stress. She encouraged her to ask any questions that might arise.

The trio began by stretching out by an inside pool on reclining lounges that felt like clouds. With closed eyes, they chatted and shared stories.

"Just relax and take deep breaths," Lissa advised with a relaxed voice as the room's warmth surrounded them.

Laughing, Amelia commented, "We're old pros. Lissa and I sneak away and treat ourselves as often as we can manage. From now on, you can be part of our escapes, Julie."

"That's a generous offer, Ma'am," Julie responded with the words her father had taught her.

"Sweetheart, the ma'am stuff has to stop," Amelia warned dryly and followed it with a small chuckle. "Lissa calls me Amma. Owen calls me Mia. My brother calls me Amy, and everyone else calls me either Mom or Amelia. Take your pick of those or create one of your own, but no more ma'am. It makes me feel old."

"My dad would flip if I called you by your first name," Julie sputtered. "How about Dr. Shepherd?"

"Too formal," Lissa quipped as she stretched her neck.

"I'll have to think about it and come up with something," Julie stalled. After a relaxing pause in conversation, Julie wondered aloud, "So what happens next?"

"First," Lissa encouraged, "we let go of the schedule and forget the time. Then, we let everyone here pamper us."

"We scheduled massages, manicures and pedicures. In between each one, you can lie here, soak in the hot tub, or sit in the sauna," Amelia advised.

"I remember when Nolan took me to Victoria and surprised me with a spa day," Lissa mused with a song in her voice.

"Victoria? As in BC?" Julie inquired.

With a matter of fact tone, Lissa stated, "Right. That's where he, Ryder and Olivia were born. Ryder never told you that?"

"Not the location. I knew his dad died when Ry was really little and that his mom died suddenly in a car accident," Julie shared.

"These boys of ours," Lissa quipped, "are Canadian." She sighed audibly and continued her story, "After the spa day, Nole bought me an incredible dress and had my hair and makeup done. We took pictures, then walked along the water and ate dinner…"

"…then you gave him your virginity," Amelia reminded her daughter-in-law with a sly tease.

"That, too," Lissa giggled.

"Wow. Really?" Julie reflected, shocked to hear Lissa and Amelia casually banter about sex.

"Hair, makeup, a new dress, a spa day… Nolan sounds like a romantic," Julie reflected.

"Hmm… yes, he can be," Lissa admitted with a subtle edge. "When he's not consumed with work or school anyway." After a slight pause, Lissa pressed, "What about Ryder?" When Julie didn't respond, Lissa repeated, "Jules – what about Ryder?"

"What about him?" she inquired with confusion.

"Tell us something juicy," Lissa giggled.

Julie laughed, "There's nothing juicy to share. Everyone always wants to think we're a couple, but we really aren't."

"C'mon," Amelia pro9dded. "I know my baby bear very well, Julie. He's incapable of _not_ being up to something."

"I agree," Julie snickered. "But he doesn't get into anything with me. He tells me the stories – with a great deal of exaggeration, I'm sure. But, between us…" Julie drifted off as he recalled their one kiss.

"Between you, what?" Lissa eagerly implored.

"Nothing, really. We kissed. Once," Julie confessed.

Amelia scoffed, "Only once? Was it that bad?"

"Promise not to tease me?" Julie fretted. After both agreed, Julie described the situation that led up to their kiss and detailed the actual event. She concluded with, "I can't believe I just told Ryder's _mom_ that story."

"That's what Moms are for," Lissa reassured Julie.

"And sisters," Amelia added.

"I've never had either," Julie pointed out. "I've had a caring and protective brother and an overly-protective, loving father… and I can't imagine what either of them would do if I told them that story."

Still lying in lounges with their eyes closed, the three processed the conversation in their own minds. Out of the blue, Lissa shared, "I never had a Dad or any siblings. My mom became pregnant as a teenager and raised me until… well, it's complicated. Then I lived at the Lake House awhile. Anyway, Dads is the only Dad I've ever known."

"My dad died when I was five," Amelia mentioned. "He was shot. I was there with my brother. I was so little that I only have fleeting memories of the whole thing."

Julie replied, "My mom became sick when I was five. All my years of elementary school, she was in and out of the hospital. When she was home, she was almost always in bed. Every now and then, she'd leave the house. That happened less and less as she became weaker and thinner. I remember holding her hand as she took her last breath. She never had a chance to teach me how to be a girl."

"We'll give you a crash course," Amelia chuckled lightly. "We orphans have to stick together."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"

When the trio returned to the Lake House wearing PJs and sporting relaxed, half opened eyes, they encountered Ryder, Nolan, Owen, and Lucas in the TV room playing Mario Cart.

"We're back," Amelia announced dreamily, leaning over the back of the sofa and kissing Lucas' forehead.

"Mama!" he grumbled. "Don't ruin my concentration with kisses!" He rubbed off his forehead with disgust.

"Yeah, Mama," Owen chuckled as he leaned his head back and kissed his wife. "You three appear to be in the zone. Did you enjoy your day?"

Snuggling in next to Nolan as he manipulated the control, Lissa sighed, "Lovely. It was lovely. Where's my Molly girl?"

"Sleeping," Nolan uttered without stopping his roving thumbs and eagle eye concentration on the screen.

Julie walked around the edge of the sectional and sat at the end. Grabbing a blanket that was lying on the couch, she wrapped up in it and rested her head on the arm of the couch.

"How was your frilly, girly experience, Caldwell?" Ryder asked as he maneuvered his car in front of Nolan's and then threw a throw pillow at Julie.

"I have painted nails," Julie chuckled as she grabbed the pillow and placed it under her head.

"Ha," Ryder balked. "They gave you the full indoctrination, huh? What'd you two do to my best pal?"

"She loved it," Lissa drawled as she tried to snuggle up to Nolan.

Quietly, he grumbled, "Liss… knock it off, Babe."

Owen and Amelia shared a glance then both peered over at the Tremblay Hunts. Lissa rolled her eyes and then her body, stretching out on the couch and resting her head on a few stray pillows. Absentmindedly and thinking he was offering a kind gesture, Nolan tossed a blanket over to his wife. It landed, folded, on her torso.

"Gee, thanks, Romeo," Lissa huffed playfully.

"Oh, man!" Lucas hollered in frustration. "Ryder! Get outta my way."

"Not happening, Curly," Ryder laughed mischievously.

"Lower your voice. You wake the baby, you take her, Uncle Lucas," Nolan warned.

"I'm out," Owen declared as his car spun off the track. He raised his arms in surrender, then landed one around Amelia. He kissed her head and whispered something nobody else heard. She giggled in response and whispered back words that brought on a light chuckle. He nudged his nose on her temple and hummed softly.

Beginning to doze off, Julie closed her eyes as she smiled. The banter and interactions were comforting and entertaining. Being at the Lake House was always a delight and never felt anything like the silent, empty home where she lived.

A few minutes later, Ryder won and jumped over the back of the couch. "Gentlemen," he declared with pride. "The Victor has a date."

"Oh my," Nolan groaned.

"One a.m.," Owen reminded his son.

"Yeah, yeah," Ryder acknowledged. "Somebody tell Jules g'night for me if she wakes up."

Hearing his words made Julie smile inside. Before he left, Ryder thought of her. Yet, at the same time, his words caused her heart to sink. Ryder thought of her, yet went out on a date with Jen. Julie wished she could shove his shoulder and give him hell, but she was so full of serenity that she didn't have it in her.

Since Olivia was staying at a friend's house, Amelia offered Olivia's bed to Julie. When everyone headed upstairs to bed, Amelia nudged Julie's shoulder and whispered, "Hey, kiddo. Want to stretch out here or head to Olivia's room?"

Without opening her eyes, a sleepy Julie mumbled, "I'll stay here for now and go up later." Amelia smiled and wisped Julie's hair off her face. She placed another blanket on her and kissed her cheek. "Sweet dreams, girlfriend."

At 1:15am, the front door opened slowly and carefully. In the next room over, Julie heard it but lay back down half-asleep and half-awake. In the entry by the Living Room, Ryder whispered to Jen that everyone appeared to be in bed. He led her to the couch and the couple began to make out. Hands ran over and under clothing as buttons were loosened and soft laughter was exchanged.

"Are you sure nobody will hear us?" Jen asked Ryder anxiously as they caressed one another. Julie heard her but attempted to force herself to go back to sleep. The harder she tried, the more awake she became.

Ryder chuckled, "As long as you don't scream out in pleasure."

"Your mind lives in the gutter, Mister," Jen teased.

With a seductive tone, Ryder retorted, "And your eyes sparkle even in the dark, Beautiful."

Julie rolled her eyes and threw a pillow over her head in an attempt to block Romeo's ramblings. Escaping up the stairs would involve walking through the Living Room, so she was stuck. Until she fell asleep, she tolerated the muffled voices and laughter that made its way through the walls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

The next day, Ryder offered to drive Julie home. By doing so, he could escape the yard work party Owen had organized. After dropping Julie off, he planned to stop at the store and grab an energy drink to help him get through the day. Jen had stayed until 3:00 am and Owen had nudged Ryder awake at 8:00 am.

After opening her door and loading her bag into the trunk, Ryder walked around the car and settled into the driver's seat. "Seems like you had fun yesterday at the spa," he commented.

"Seems like you had fun last night - or should I say 'this morning' – with Jen," Julie harassed him with a knowing chuckle.

Usually not one to blush, Ryder's cheeks reddened as he glanced over at his friend. Sputtering, he replied, "Well… uh, yeah. We… uh… we had a nice… nice… umm… night."

"I was in the TV room, idiot," Julie deadpanned as she softly shoved his upper arm. Teasing, she continued, "You… uh… umm… yeah… you and she sounded like you were having a hell of a time."

As he stopped at a traffic light, Ryder peeked over the top of his sunglasses and stared.

"The light's green, Romeo," Julie laughed as she shook her head.

"I'm changing the subject," Ryder declared as he accelerated. "What was up with your dad at the party?"

"What do you mean?" she inquired.

"Remember when we were all hanging out on the dock, and he called you over with his fake smile?" Ryder questioned.

"Oh, it was nothing," Julie shrugged. "He wanted me to throw a cover up over my bikini because there were too many young men with roving eyes around."

Chuckling, Ryder sought to confirm, "Did he really say that?!"

"In his own words," Julie admitted with a giggle. "He's so terrified some guy is going to come along and steal away his little girl's purity. I'll be 30 before I'm free of his or another adult's supervision," she concluded with a light-hearted tone.

Sarcastically, Ryder offered, "Want me to take it so you can tell him that he's too late to prevent your next step into womanhood?"

"RB, you are such a self-sacrificing, thoughtful friend," Julie groaned. "but I think I'll stick with my ridiculously strict father and his angst."


	53. Chapter 53 - Why Not?

**Chapter 53**

 **An Imperfect Life – Why Not?**

 _ **It's my (Grace) birthday, so I spent the day writing. Here's a second chapter to celebrate the day. :-)**_

 **Late August**

When Ryder pulled up, Julie gasped with surprised joy, "I can't believe it!" Before the car had come to a complete stop, she unbuckled her seatbelt and prepared to exit the car.

"What's your hurry?" Ryder wondered aloud. "I know I haven't showered yet, but am I _that_ bad?"

"No," Julie exclaimed with a half-laugh, half-cry. "My brother… I think Sam's home. See the rental car? Who else could it be?"

"Like 1000 other people," Ryder shrugged as he readjusted his baseball hat and attempted to smooth out his ratty, yardwork t-shirt.

"Itsy-kit, get your ass over here!" a large, well-built, broad shouldered and handsome man bellowed as he approached the car.

"Come meet him, Ry," Julie encouraged as she flew out of the car and into Sam's arms.

Sam picked her up and squeezed her, saying, "What's with the nails? Are you going girly-girl on me?"

Laughing and looking at her painted nails, Julie explained, "Ryder – over there – his mom and sister-in-law invited me to join them for a spa day yesterday. It was… a whole new experience for me."

Slowly setting his sister down, Sam smiled broadly and walked toward Ryder. "I've heard a lot about you. Great to meet you," Sam offered as he extended his hand.

"Same here, Sam," Ryder responded with a grin. Even at well over 6 feet tall, Ryder felt dwarfed by Sam's frame and presence.

"Come on in, man," Sam invited.

As the trio made their way toward the house, Julie pointed out, "I had no idea you were coming home. How long can you stay?"

"Three weeks," Sam responded. "A few guys in my unit were injured in our last exercise. Our CO decided to give everyone some leave while they healed. My team's temporarily out of commission, I guess."

"Where were you?" Julie asked with admiration and awe.

"Can't say. It was humid, hot, and full of terrorists," Sam answered as he nudged her shoulder with his elbow. Ryder couldn't tell if Sam was kidding or serious.

The normally darkened home, whose shades were almost always drawn, was filled with light. Sam had more pull with Adam than Julie and could insist on brightening up the place. Ryder took in the entry and front room of the Victorian. It seemed like an entirely new house with polished antique furniture that he'd never been able to see clearly before.

Sam led the couple to the back porch where Adam was smoking a cigarette and staring at the sky.

"Hey, Dad," Julie greeted.

Adam turned around and smiled. He stood and extended his hand when he spotted Ryder. "Hi kids." He gazed at Julie's painted toenails and fingernails and scoffed slightly, "All dolled up, huh?"

With a blush, Julie dropped her eyes to the ground and mumbled, "Yeah, I guess. I can take it off if you want."

"It's fine, Itsy. Leave it on," Adam grinned as he offered a seat to Ryder.

Sam brought out some ice water and passed filled glasses around. Commenting on the breeze, Sam soaked in the temperate air and stretched out on a lounge. "Jules tells me you're quite the soccer player," Sam noted. "Wanna go for a run with me tomorrow morning?"

With a nervous laugh, Ryder sputtered, "I can sprint with a soccer ball around my feet, but I doubt I'd be an ideal running mate."

"I'll walk then," Sam joked. "Say 8 am? Log Boom Park?"

"Right by my house. Sounds good," Ryder grinned, wondering if it was safe to jog around Lake Washington with a Navy SEAL who may or may not have it out for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~''

"All I'm saying is that we need to minimize, Liss," Nolan sighed as the two packed boxes for England. The couple had taken over half the garage and was attempting to sort out what was moving with them to England. "I mean, really, can't we buy pots and pans there? It'll give you and Molly something to do – you can shop for days."

"Shopping with an almost six month old isn't appealing, Nolan," Lissa huffed with a giggle, attempting to keep the tone light-hearted. "But I see your point – throw the pots and pans into the donate pile."

"I thought you loved this set," he questioned with surprise. "You want to donate them?"

"No, I want to take them," Lissa corrected in a matter-of-fact tone. "but if I can't take them, I'm not sure they'll do me any good sitting in a storage unit for two years."

"Oh," Nolan uttered, beginning to gather that packing might be a way for Lissa to play out her grief about leaving. He gently set the pots and pans in the storage pile and continued to sort items quietly.

Lissa folded and packed baby clothes, knowing Nolan wouldn't challenge those contents. She gazed over at his box periodically, wanting to dispute his choices yet choosing to say nothing. When she saw the X-Box, she pointed out, "Lucas would love it if you left that, you know."

"The X-Box? Of course, he would," Nolan scoffed.

"Aren't there TV connections and electricity different?" Lissa challenged with a naïve-sounding question.

"Yeah, but I have adapters," Nolan explained.

"I wonder if the games work as well with all the extra connections and wires," she mused aloud as if she was genuinely curious.

Nolan peeked up at his wife through the top of his eyelids. With straight lips and a despondent sigh, he silently moved the X-Box equipment and accessories from an "England" box to a pile of items being left at the Lake House. Lissa pretended not to notice, but took pride in her small victory.

"How's the packing?" Amelia inquired with a chirp as she popped her head out of the hallway and into the garage.

"Great," both responded flatly.

"I can tell," she chuckled. She proceeded to the garage and surveyed the scene that included various piles and categories. "Store, ship, sell, donate, Lake House, carry on, check," she recited. "Sounds like you've considered all the categories." The young couple ignored Amelia's commentary.

"Really, Blondie?" Nolan moaned as he untaped and examined a box marked for England. "Christmas decorations?!"

"They celebrate Christmas there, too, Trems," Lissa giggled.

Nolan walked over and stood beside his wife. Gently, he set his hands on her shoulders and turned her so she was facing him. "Larissa, you know I love you," he began. From the other end of the garage, Amelia held in a giggle as she leaned on a car and watched the packing adventures.

Lissa's blue eyes regarded her husband. With a faint grin, she replied, "Yes."

"You can't take an entire box of Christmas decorations, Shorty," he insisted gently. "We're only packing what we really, truly _need._ "

"I can't need a few trinkets from home?" she protested sadly.

"A few, sure. Not a box-full," he grimaced as he kissed her forehead.

Amelia decided she would break her 'don't provide unsolicited advice' rule and suggested, "How about if you both come eat lunch? Making lists might be a better way to tackle this."

Before long, the three sat at the table with a list of absolute necessities that needed to move to England, a list of items to buy once they arrived, and lists for the other categories.

"You'll have the diaper bag and basic toiletries in your carry on. The laptop, legal documents, passports, camera, adaptors, chargers, phone, and my glasses," Nolan recited. "All of that will go in my carry on."

"Phone? Aren't we buying new ones once we're there?" Lissa inquired. Nolan crossed off 'phone' from the list.

"I'm not going to be able to buy all this on my own," Lissa commented as she surveyed the list that included furniture, TV, iPod speakers, kitchen items, bedding, blankets, printer, scissors and office supplies, hair dryer, cleaning supplies, towels, pillows, crib, dressers and more.

"Sure you will, Babe. Little by little. We can prioritize the list on the flight over," Nolan encouraged.

"How about one box or suitcase with a few basics? Maybe a set of sheets, a roll of paper towels, a couple pillows and towels, and some cups?" Amelia proposed.

"I think Rob and Steph already have that sort of stuff covered for us," Nolan responded. "I'll double check."

Nolan excused himself to type an email to Rob, leaving Amelia, Lissa and Molly at the table. As Lissa opened her mouth widely and fed Molly baby cereal, Amelia weighed in on what she was experiencing.

"You're going to have a pretty full load when you arrive," Amelia pointed out.

"Just watching and feeding Miss Molly Jo is enough some days," Lissa smiled as she imitated Molly popping her lips happily.

"Do you want me to fly over and help?" Amelia offered.

As Lissa wiped off Molly's hands and face, she pleaded, "Oh… could you, Amma?"

"I'll talk to Owen tonight. I'm sure we can work something out," Amelia assured her tense and already-tired daughter-in-law.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

At dinner that night, Ryder reported on his introduction to Sam. He begged Nolan and Owen to join him for the run scheduled for the next morning.

"Why?" Nolan sputtered with a laugh. "Are you afraid of the guy? You need to bring your posse with you?"

"He's… umm… imposing. And broad… and, yeah, a little intimidating," Ryder admitted reluctantly.

Owen scoffed, "And you think Nolan and I can protect you from him?"

"I think witnesses are a wise plan," Ryder reasoned feebly.

Lucas piped up with courage, "I'll go, Ryder. And I'll tell him not to mess with my big brother and I'll show him my fists and look at him super mean like this." His lowered eyebrows nearly covered his eyes.

"Looks like you're covered, Ry," Owen attempted to state without bursting into laughter.

"A run might be a nice break for you, Nole," Lissa urged. She thought Nolan being away for an hour or so would be a nice break for her as well.

"I guess," Nolan hunched. "Isn't that gonna be weird, Ry? You showing up with your brother?"

"Nah," Ryder clarified, "I'll tell him you wanted to come along to check out the trail or something."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"

After dinner, Amelia and Owen excused themselves and relaxed on their bedroom balcony. She snuggled her back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Miscarriages, adoption, and college were manageable for Nolan and Liss," Amelia cited. "This move to England may be the breaking point."

"Why would you say that?" Owen inquired as he kissed Amelia's neck.

"They were bickering about Christmas ornaments earlier," Amelia shared. "Really, the tension is about how they'll handle the move and all the adjustments. The ornaments were a surface issue."

"I'm glad we've never had to move," Owen commented.

Amelia rested her head on the front of Owen's shoulder and peeked up at him, "I'm thinking I should go over for a week or so and help them get settled. Nolan starts school two days after they arrive and Lissa has her hands full with Molly."

"What happened to the 'Owen, the kids need to figure life out for themselves' reasoning?" he teased gently.

"Making sure you have enough diapers and formula is one thing," Amelia pointed out. "Moving to a new country and having to furnish a house while pregnant and caring for a baby is another."

"We can manage here if the kids want you to go with them," Owen assured her. "Have you talked to Nolan?"

"No, but I thought Lissa was about to cry when I suggested it," Amelia chuckled softly.

Owen leaned his head against Amelia's and hummed with contentment. "Do what you need to do. Ryder and Livs can help Lynne and I with the kids."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~''

 **The Next Morning**

"Mom wants to come to England with us," Nolan reported to Ryder as they waited for Sam to meet them at the park.

"Like, forever?" Ryder questioned, still sleepy.

"No, Stupid," Nolan grumbled, "for a week or so. She wants to help Lissa set up the house."

"How long does it take to set up a house? Can't you just buy some furniture, have it delivered and call it good?" Ryder wondered.

"Not if you're Mom or Lissa," Nolan sighed. "Hey, is that him?"

"Yeah," Ryder confirmed as he stood up and nodded toward Sam.

Sam patted Ryder on the back and greeted him cheerfully, then Ryder introduced Sam to Nolan. After conferring with one another about trail options, the three set out on foot.

"What's your story, Nolan? Are you in school?" Sam inquired.

"I graduated from USC last May with a BS and MS in Accounting. My wife, daughter, and I are heading to England soon. I'll be attending Oxford," Nolan shared as if he were reading a grocery list.

"Wow. Impressive," Sam answered. "You have a family of your own and all those degrees?"

"Whatever," Nolan shrugged, downplaying his intelligence.

"Do you mind if I ask you how old you are?" Sam questioned. Ryder was relieved that Sam was focusing on Nolan. Their conversation allowed him to focus on attempting to keep up with their pace.

"We're both 21. I skipped a few grades in school, so I'm ahead of the game," Nolan disclosed.

"That's amazing," Sam stated with a sense of awe.

Nolan chuckled, "You're not unimpressive. A Navy SEAL – that's pretty elite."

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "My dad pretty much groomed me for it from the day I was born. He was always encouraging my sister to consider the Navy, too, but he didn't start pushing her until after our mom died."

"Ry and I, we lost our mom about ten years ago in a car accident," Nolan added, sharing his reality with someone who would understand.

"It sucks," Sam acknowledged. "So your dad remarried, huh?"

"No. Our dad was a firefighter and died in a building collapse about four years before our mom died. My mom's cousin adopted us and brought us to Seattle."

Turning his head back, Sam glanced at Ryder and inquired, "You and Julie have a lot in common, huh? You both want to be pilots, you both live in Washington and you've both lost your moms."

"We met at the Academy last summer. She's a great friend," Ryder responded.

"She's incredible," Sam echoed. "Why is she just a friend?"

"Uh…" Ryder stalled. How could he answer the question without putting Julie down? It wasn't that he didn't find her attractive. She was _Julie_. A pal. A buddy. A fellow smart ass. "I've never had a friend like her – she gives me crap when I deserve it, challenges me when I'm being ridiculous, and understands my warped sense of humor. Dating hasn't really ever come up. She's like a sister to me - only a lot less princess-y than my true sisters."

"Hmm," Sam pondered aloud. "All I know is that she really values you and is thankful you're in her life. I've never really had a female friend, but, then again, Julie is no ordinary woman."


	54. Chapter 54 - Keep Your Eyes on the Goal

**Chapter 54**

 **An Imperfect Life – Keep Your Eyes on the Goal**

 **Saturday, September 6** **th**

 _ **England**_

"C'mon, Molly, one more bite for Gamma," Amelia encouraged with a playful smile as she slid the spoon close to Molly's mouth and then further away. To herself, she said aloud in baby talk, "Maybe this will make you _think_ you want to keep eating."

Molly shook her head and tightened her lips. As Amelia brought the spoon closer to Molly again, Molly pushed it away. She laughed when the food flung onto Amelia's face.

"You're hilarious, doll face," Amelia deadpanned. After grabbing a rag and wiping off her own face, Amelia playfully attacked Molly's face, "Now the clean-up monster is coming to attack!" Molly attempted to pull the rag off her face and balked with mild disgust at the idea of being clean.

Once Molly's face was wiped off, Amelia offered a running commentary on their morning, "Let's change those PJs, little girl, and find an adorable outfit. What color shall we choose today? Pink? Green? What's your pleasure, sweetcakes?" With Molly in her arms, Amelia proceeded to the very sparse nursery and selected an outfit. After setting the baby on a mat on the floor, Amelia commented, "Let's see if we can change your diaper without you rolling away this time. Deal?"

Molly's brown eyes locked on to Amelia and watched every movement. When her diaper came off, Molly pretended to cry and Amelia called out the fake sob, "You can do better than that! I'm not convinced." She tickled Molly's tummy and quickly fastened the diaper. Then, able to slide both legs into leggings, Amelia took a break before attempting socks and a shirt. Molly was already halfway across the room, having rolled over repeatedly in order to change her scenery.

"Who's that on the phone?" Amelia exclaimed with an eager, baby-friendly tone when her cell phone rang. "It's Papa!" Amelia clapped her hands and called out, "Yay, Papa!"

"Hi, Handsome," she answered.

"I love the sound of your voice, Mia. I miss you," Owen greeted with a touch of self-pity.

"It won't be long – two more days and I'll be home," she reminded him. "Can I put you on Facetime? You need to see Miss Molly's new tricks."

"Absolutely," Owen grinned.

Amelia clicked over to Facetime and smiled at her husband, "There's my handsome man. Now, look at this lollipop." She turned the phone to face Molly and made a clicking noise to get the baby's attention.

"Hi, Precious Girl," Owen cooed as he laughed softly. "She's growing so much!"

"Dama bababa ma daba," Molly answered as if she was speaking fluent English. She rolled toward the phone and grabbed it as she steadied herself on her tummy. Owen applauded and celebrated her every move and sound as Amelia giggled along with them.

"You're bringing her home, right?" Owen teased.

"In my carry on," Amelia confirmed.

Nolan and Lissa approached from behind and Molly brightened up even more. "No, Papa, she's staying right here," Lissa giggled as she bent down and picked up the baby.

"Where she's apparently in training as a topless dancer," Nolan quipped as he grabbed a t-shirt and slipped it over Molly's head. "And where are your socks, Speedy?" he asked as he grabbed her foot and tickled it.

"She wore Gamma out before the outfit was complete," Amelia explained as she stood up and grasped her phone. While Nolan and Lissa fussed over their daughter, she wandered to the next room to finish conversing with Owen.

"They're doing well," Amelia shared.

"How's Oxford? Is he swamped?" Owen wondered aloud.

"Not yet. It sounds like it's coming, though. For now, they're using every minute to settle in and shop for the house," Amelia detailed. "It's wonderful to see them spend time together. Molly's sleeping well, Lissa's nearing the energy boost second trimester, and the adventure of the move is still the focus."

"Excellent," Owen agreed with a chuckle. "Now come home. I'm not sleeping well, I'm not pregnant, and I want to focus on adventure… or at least put you to work on the OR backlog."

"You only want me for my hands," Amelia quipped.

He flirted, "Yes, your multi-talented, capable, incredible hands… and body… and lips… and…"

 _ **Seattle**_

"Hunt!" Ryder's soccer coach called out after blowing his whistle. He threw the ball back in to play and another player ran in to relieve Ryder.

"Coach, I was fine. I don't need a break," Ryder stated as he arrived at the sidelines.

"You're overlapping. I need to see more teamwork," the Coach barked. "You left your own position without coverage."

"But we didn't need coverage there. I was…" Ryder began to argue. As Ryder began his defense, Owen and the Littles made their way to the bleachers. Although they weren't able to be at the game from the beginning, they were able to watch the second half.

"Cool it, Hunt. We're done talking," the Coach yelled before walking away.

Ryder began to follow his coach to continue the discussion, but a teammate, John, ran over and stood in front of him, "Let it go, Ryder. You're only going to piss him off more."

"But he's being ridiculous. What I did out there was smart not clueless," Ry defended.

The assistant coach walked by on his way toward the coach. He slapped his clipboard on Ryder's rear and advised, "John's right. That's enough, Hunt. Go grab some water and cool off."

With attitude and frustration, Ryder stomped over to the cooler. He grabbed a towel and ran it over his head as he walked.

"You're causing trouble for yourself, you know," Julie commentated from the other side of the fence.

"Oh, yeah?" Ryder grumbled as he glared at her and downed a large cup of water in one gulp.

"Stop being such a hothead. It doesn't suit you," she advised.

Ryder walked over to the fence and offered up his cup of water, "Thirsty?"

"That's your sweaty, boy-germ-infested cup, RB. I'm not that desperate," she taunted.

After rolling his eyes, Ryder went back to his tirade but did so with a lowered voice. "He's on my ass today and it's pissing me off. He thinks I can't do anything right."

"Lay low and calm down, then," Julie suggested.

Ryder scoffed, "Oh, that'll get me a hell of a lot of time on the field."

"If I could slap you, I would. Stop being an idiot, RB. Go sit down and pout. Just do it quietly," Julie insisted as she turned and began to climb the bleachers.

"Hey," Owen beamed when he saw Julie approach. "What's going on down there?"

"He's ticky. Not listening to the coach and creating his own plays," she explained.

"You're always, always supposed to listen to the coach," Lucas commented as he shook his head in disappointment.

"How come he's so mad?" Ria inquired.

"Maybe he forgot to eat lunch," Anna reasoned.

Julie sat down next to Owen and focused in on Ryder, who was sitting on a bench with his back to the crowd. "We have our own version of Sport's Center today," she laughed.

"Experts. Every one of them," Owen grinned. "How's school?"

"School's fine. All A's except for a B in Biology," Julie confessed. "My dad's on my case about the B, of course."

"We Dads are like that," Owen nodded.

With a slight chuckle, Julie explained, "He told me I can't go to the dance next Friday if I haven't pulled up the grade. Nobody's asked me to go, so his threat isn't working."

Nodding his head toward Lucas, Owen teased, "Luke would love to take you to the dance."

Julie grinned and caught Owen's eye, observing, "That sounds like something Ryder would say." She returned her gaze toward the field and attempted to locate Ryder. He was no longer on the bench. "Where is he?"

"He's over there," Ria pointed. He was back on the field.

"I can't believe Coach put him back in…" Julie stated slowly. "He's going to get himself in trouble. He's still wound up." Owen agreed but did not respond. He was intrigued by Julie's ability to read Ryder's nuances.

Owen, Julie, and the Littles continued to watch the game. The teams were evenly matched, so the match was captivating. Two minutes into his return to the field, Ryder was called for a foul and flipped out. They couldn't hear him, but they could all see his non-verbals and how his mouth was hollering and arguing.

With great patience, the referee explained the call to Ryder calmly and encouraged him to settle down. The grace of the ref was undeserved and yet Ryder continued to dispute the call. The ref told Ryder, "You're giving me no choice, kid," as he held up a yellow card. Ryder walked away, obviously livid. He glanced up to the stands and focused on Julie, offering a shrug with outstretched arms that indicated he didn't understand the call.

When the coach spotted that maneuver, he sought the official's attention and requested a substitution. A few seconds later, when the ball was dead, a teammate tagged Ryder out.

While the Assistant Coach observed the game and managed the players, the Coach pulled Ryder aside. "I'm going to request that you leave the field, Hunt. You're off today."

"I wasn't red carded, Coach," Ryder tried to explain without begging.

"It won't go on your stats that I benched you. I'm not throwing you out, Ryder, but I would like you to leave the field. There's ten minutes left in the game. You're not going back in, and you're tense and reactive. Step out, son," the coach explained. "You and I - we'll talk tomorrow."

Few actions or events ever caused Ryder to show sadness, but being asked to leave a game was humbling. With tears gathering in his eyes, which he was thankful nobody in the stands could see, Ryder grabbed his gear and quietly walked to the locker room. When he arrived in the empty space, he showered and sniffled only as much as absolutely necessary to keep the tears at bay. He hurried to leave, hoping to depart before the team came in from the field.

Even at 17, he wanted to see Amelia. He knew she was still in England, and he quickly calculated that it was about midnight in England. He worried that Owen would attempt to stand in her place and try to talk about what happened. When Owen and Ryder discussed soccer, however, Owen would point out the errors he saw and would suggest possible improvements. When Ry spoke with Amelia about a bad play or match, she listened and sympathized.

As Ryder stepped outside, he spotted Owen and the Littles walking toward him. He was disappointed that Julie wasn't waiting for him, but he knew he'd been rude to her earlier and probably driven her away.

"You're not supposed to argue with the refs, Ryder," Lucas pointed out with compassion as he attempted to grasp Ryder's hand. Ryder flicked his hand away and caught Owen's eye.

"Ready?" Owen inquired, his eyes conveying his disappointment.

"I drove over. I'll see you at home," Ryder stated as he blinked and cleared his throat. Owen nodded and headed toward his SUV.

Ria pulled on Ryder's shirt and questioned, "Can I come with you?"

"No," Ryder answered abruptly, something he'd hear about from Owen later.

Ryder came to Nolan's Jeep and threw his gear in the back. As he exhaled loudly, he walked to the driver's side of the vehicle. Julie was leaning against the front tire and mentioned calmly, "Wanna talk?"

"Get in," Ryder responded without looking at her. He leaned over and unlocked the passenger door from the inside and she climbed inside. As Ryder backed out, he asked, "Your house?"

"Doesn't matter. I don't need to be home until 7:30. Dad has a meeting after work, so we're eating late," she shared.

Without responding verbally, Ryder drove toward a nearby park and stopped the Jeep near an out-of-the-way trailhead. He leaned his seat back and closed his eyes. He began breathing more rapidly and from his chest. Slamming his hands onto the steering wheel, he yelled out, "Dammit!"

By this point, Julie had leaned her seat back and was lying on her side. She traced the leather on the seat with a finger while gauging Ryder's mood. Making eye contact at this point was her worst option.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" he continued to yell as he banged on the steering wheel. After releasing the surface level anger, he raised his arms so that his elbows stood straight out and his hands rested on the steering wheel. His head rested on his hands as he lightly bumped his head against them repeatedly whispering, "Dammit!" over and over.

Sensing his softening, Julie sat up and gently placed her hand on his mid-back. He turned toward her and hugged her, shedding a few tears on her shoulder. She held him firmly and planned to wait for him to loosen his grip before she released hers. Realizing they'd be far more comfortable in the backseat, where no gear shift or emergency brake would be between them, Julie nudged Ryder back as she continued to hold him. Once they'd moved, she reached down and pulled the releases so the front seats returned to their regular upright position.

After holding onto her for over thirty minutes, Ryder began to mumble a mixture of words filled with self-hatred and self-doubt. He couldn't believe he'd been so intense and stupid. He wondered what kind of idiot gets a warning because he can't stop fighting over a call. Without a doubt, Ryder knew he'd be suspended for a game or two. With volumes of negative self-talk, Ryder labelled himself with words like clueless, stupid, hotheaded, and stubborn.

Rubbing his back from mid-spine to a shoulder, Julie whispered, "Enough of that. Nobody talks that way about my friend."

Without raising his head, Ryder chuckled. He slipped his hand toward his face and dried his tears. He confessed, "I don't know who was on the field today. I don't have a short fuse, I laugh off crap. I pull myself together and keep moving forward. What the hell came over me?"

"Hmm…" Julie pondered aloud. "Your mom's away, midterms are around the corner, Jen's out of the picture…"

"That's not a problem, that's good. Very good," Ryder interjected as he raised his head to look at Julie and referred to his former girlfriend. "She was a piece of work."

Smiling softly, Julie continued her thoughts, "Your brother and his family are thousands of miles away. All of that combined is a lot of pressure. It's perfectly acceptable to realize you have a limit, Ryder."

"I seldom hit up against my limits," Ryder acknowledged.

"That's why you're a Superhero. You're virtually limitless," she teased.

The two locked eyes and froze. Ryder brushed his forefinger back and forth on her cheek and rested his thumb below her chin. Unsure what to do or say, Julie displayed a soft grin as she wondered whether she wanted him to proceed or stop. If she could have, she would have frozen the moment in time and taken the opportunity to think about what might be happening.

Instead, Ryder decided for her. Softly and almost inaudibly, he whispered, "Thanks."

"Sure," she forced out awkwardly as his hand returned to his lap and he pulled away slightly. Unable to stop the words from escaping her mouth, she spouted, "I love your green eyes."

Scoffing and assuming she was being either sarcastic or silly, he flashed a smile her way and stated, "That's why you're such a perfect friend – you're as full of shit as I am."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Ryder and Julie grabbed dinner before he dropped her off at home. As they sat outside and soaked in the sun, their conversation was full of mutual teasing and laughing. All had returned to their version of normal. As if it had never occurred, the hint of a possible kiss had been replaced by lighthearted and goofy behavior.

Once Julie was safely behind her front door, Ryder drove away and spent an hour meandering around town. By the time he arrived at the Lake House, it was a little after 9pm. Olivia and Owen were sitting on the kitchen stools playing cards, and the Littles were already in bed.

"I thought you were coming right home," Owen commented flatly as he played a card and motioned to Olivia to take her turn.

"Did I say that?" Ryder asked innocently.

"You said you'd see me at home. The time was implied," Owen clarified with a sideways glance and expressionless face. "You missed dinner."

"Julie and I ate out," he shared casually. "I apologize for the mix up."

"Keys," Owen sounded as he held a hand out.

"Why?" Ryder challenged, attempting to sound more curious than upset.

"Check your texts before handing me your phone," Owen advised. Ryder looked and saw five unread texts from Owen.

"We ate outside. I must not have heard the indication. Wow – I'm sorry, Dad. Really," Ryder declared with sincerity.

"Thanks, now hand me your keys and phone and head upstairs," Owen ordered. With their father's back to her, Olivia smirked at her brother with glee.

Ryder stuffed his hands into his pockets and slid his phone into his back pocket, "That seems pretty unreasonable to me. It was a mix up, Dad, that's all."

"I'm not discussing this, Ryder," Owen insisted with his hand out. "One week for not being in touch and for snapping at Ria earlier. Another week for your behavior at the game."

"Come on!" Ryder yelled. "I had a bad game. So what? Now you're going to ground me? That's ridiculous."

"Your behavior at the game was completely out of line. That's not the way your mother and I raised you to behave," Owen detailed. "I don't ever want to see you short-circuit like that again." Ryder narrowed his eyes as his face reddened with anger. With serious eyes, Owen suggested, "I could always add more time if you want to keep this up."

Whipping the keys and the phone out of his pockets and slamming them on Owen's hand, Ryder mumbled, "This is f #!d up."

"Go upstairs," Owen sounded firmly but calmly.

"Your turn, Daddy," Olivia prompted.

Owen raised his eyebrows and regarded Ryder expectantly. As Owen chose his next card, Ryder mumbled and grumbled all the way up the stairs.


	55. Chapter 55 - Reality Bites

**Chapter 55**

 **An Imperfect Life – Reality Bites**

 **Mid-October**

Over the course of the story, I lost track of some of the ages and details. Here's an up-to-date list:

Nolan and Lissa 21 ½;

Molly 7 months (bday mid March);

Baby Tremblay 14 wks (4/5 due date); Molly's sib 17 wks (3/15 due date)

Ryder 17 ½, Julie almost 18 (Seniors in high school)

Olivia 14 ½ (Freshman in high school)

Ria and Anna 9 ½

Lucas 8

 _For the short period when Owen, Amelia, all of the kids, Lissa, and Molly lived under the Lake House's roof, there were moments when the house felt overcrowded and full of noise. In those minutes, the experience seemed as if it would never end. From Olivia up, the family members felt as if privacy was impossible. Solitude was sought desperately. No matter what direction a person turned, other people were never far away. The treehouse became an oasis, at least for the first person or small group who found it vacant._

 _Looking back, however, Amelia realized that the final month of the summer had passed quickly. Once the kids were back in school and the Tremblay Hunts crossed the sea for their Oxford adventures, the desolation of the house was overwhelming. Amelia tried mightily to not end up alone in the house. Silence was no longer sought – it only reminded her of all the changes that were underway. Like a hollow, echoing pit, the house was now a place of emptiness rather than a dwelling whose inhabitants yearned for peaceful serenity._

"Coffee?" Owen inquired softly as he approached from behind and held a cup by Amelia's face.

She was sitting in a lounge chair on the balcony off their bedroom. Wrapped up in her robe, she embraced her legs as she looked out on the water that was dotted with morning fog. Gazing back, she smiled, "Thanks, O."

Owen rubbed his now empty hands together and saw his breath cloud up before him. "Are you warm enough out here, Mia? Can I get you a blanket?"

With a despondent sigh, Amelia responded, "Are you kidding? I've been living through nearly constant hot flashes."

As he wisped hair behind her ear, Owen reminded her, "You might want to reconsider Arizona's advice and try the hormone patch."

With a determined shake of her head, Amelia insisted, "Nope. My ancestors lived through the Change. I will too. I'm not putting hormones in my body when it's signaling otherwise. This is a natural process, Owen."

Frowning, Owen stared at her. He was thinking about the intensity of her life. The hot flashes didn't cause her to feel warm and sleepy, they drenched and exhausted her. Her feelings about missing Nolan, Lissa and Molly weren't passing bittersweet thoughts, they were a constant and painful yearning. He set his hand on her shoulder softly and stood quietly.

Breaking the silence, Amelia commented, "I like the chill in the air – I can _feel_ it. Since Nolan, Liss, and Molly left, all I've sensed is emptiness."

Rubbing his hands atop her shoulders, Owen frowned and commented, "I'm sorry, Mia. It's painful having them so far away."

"Yeah," Amelia whispered before sipping her coffee.

After a few minutes of silence, Owen slipped back inside to take a shower. He encouraged, "Take your time out here. I'll get the kids ready for school."

Ten minutes later, with wet hair and a towel around his waist, Owen hurried to the balcony with Amelia's phone in his hand. "A notification popped up – you have an email from Lissa," he shared with anticipation.

Smiling widely, Amelia stood and grasped her phone. As she began to unlock it and navigate to her email, she scoffed and shook her head. Patting Owen on the rear, she insisted, "Get inside and dry off, Handsome."

He chuckled and grinned, relieved to see emotion on Amelia's precious face.

Amelia sat on the bed to read the email and once he was dressed, Owen snuggled up from behind. He wrapped his arms and legs around her as he rested his chin on her shoulder and listened to the words she read aloud.

 _Dear Amma, Dads, and everyone,_

 _It's 10pm and I finally have a few minutes to catch my breath. Our day has been so busy – Molly and I were out for hours running errands, choosing furniture, grocery shopping, and seeing the doctor. Once we made it home, it was time to throw together some dinner for our little butterball, convince her to eat vegis and bathe her. Without an extra set of hands, I ended up wearing half of Molly's food and some of the bath water._

 _Nolan's studying. He does that most nights until 11 or midnight. When he shuffles back home, always exhausted yet full of enthusiasm about what he's learning, he catches me up on the latest news for about five minutes and then falls asleep either at the table or on the sofa. We're still attempting to find a routine and to try to ensure that he interacts with Molly every day. She misses him dreadfully. Just like when she was smaller, her legs start kicking and her breathing quickens when she sees her daddy. He's amazing with her and they're nuts about each other._

 _A young woman, Freya, began working for us last week. She's a lovely person – full of humor and smiles. At first, Molly wasn't so sure about her. Now, they're friends. Nolan didn't want to hire a nanny or au pair – he's so protective about who cares for Molly. Instead, he found someone willing to cook and clean. It's nice to have some company for part of the day and to hear about Freya's boyfriend and social life. I feel eons older than her, but she's actually only two years younger than me._

 _The pregnancy is progressing along smoothly. Because of the high risk status (and maybe because Nolan insisted to the appointment lady when I wasn't listening), I see the doctor weekly. It feels like more than necessary at only 14 weeks along, but it's what's been arranged. At least the appointment gets Molly and I out of the house once a week. We walk to the clinic – it's about a mile away. In fact, we either walk or take the train everywhere. Nolan hasn't had a chance to buy a car yet. The longer we go without one, the more I wonder if we even need one._

 _The people in this area are warm and friendly. Even though I haven't had much time to make new friends, I've enjoyed the casual conversations at the store and on the sidewalks. Molly makes it easy for me – she sees others and points at them or babbles loudly to get their attention. She's quite the flirt! As long as I'm beside her, she's social. If I leave her side, she flips. Mama has to always be near._

 _Molly has grown and developed so much. She's holding her own cup now (and pounding it on the highchair tray when it's empty and she wants more). Watching her try to feed herself Cheerios is comical – about 10% of them make it into her mouth. I've tried to explain to Nolan that we need a dog to help clean up Mol's messes, but he won't hear of it. Anything that even barely seems like it might add more stress to his life is definitely not allowed._

 _Molly's almost crawling. She progressed from rolling where she wants to go to slithering and scooting around – it takes a ton of effort! After moving a few feet, she either rolls around back and forth from tummy to back or sits and plays with whatever toys are in reach. She's full of smiles and becomes so proud of herself when she picks up toys or when she makes it to a table or chair she wanted to head toward._

 _We heard from the judge's administrative assistant this week. Molly's birth mom is now 17 weeks along. The baby is a girl and is developing well. All of the prenatal testing has returned with pleasing results. We still haven't figured out the logistics for next March. There are so many variables. At this point, Nolan feels strongly that Molly and I should stay in England while he flies to the States to adopt the baby. The concern, of course, is that I might go into labor while he's gone. If the baby in the States isn't born within a certain window, then Nolan won't be able to fly to Seattle – his school schedule is rigid and the idea of leaving school for a few days while it is in session doesn't appear to be an option. If you can come up with an answer that makes sense, let us know!_

 _We miss you all so much. I've attached some pictures of Molly and the flat. I'd love to see pictures of everyone – send some updates and news. How's Anna's new school? Has Lucas lost any more teeth? Did Ria end up needing surgery on that tight muscle? How about Olivia? Is she dancing like crazy? Has The Nutcracker been cast yet? How many girlfriends has Ryder had since we left? How's life at the hospital? Busy – I'm guessing. It seems to always be busy. Give Barkley and Bogey giant hugs from us, and hug each other for us too._

 _As soon as Nolan decides, I'll let you know our plans for Christmas. Much will depend upon my pregnancy. I'm really hoping we can make it home._

 _Love, love, love you all,_

 _Lissa_

Once Amelia concluded reading, both she and Owen sat silently as they took in all the news, all that wasn't said, and what was implied between the lines.

"She sounds so lonely," Amelia nearly moaned. "It breaks my heart."

"It was late when she wrote the note – what did she say? 10pm? Maybe she's just tired," Owen tried to reason.

"It doesn't sound like she sees much of Nolan," Amelia commented.

"I gathered the same," Owen admitted sadly. "Although he seems to be engaged enough to continue making most of the decisions."

"That'd last about 10 minutes if you pulled that crap on me," Amelia taunted.

"Don't I know it?!" Owen exclaimed with a laugh. He leaned his unshaven cheek against Amelia's smooth face and hummed slowly as Amelia downloaded a picture of Molly. "I sure miss that little girl. She's growing up too fast."

"Look at this picture of her! I think she has more food on her face than she put in her mouth," Amelia giggled.

"With a smile like that, how could you get frustrated, though? Look at her," Owen mused. He pulled his cheek away so he could look at Amelia's face. Then he inquired, "What do you think? One more?"

With a roar, Amelia laughed. "Absolutely not," she exclaimed. "Not only would the pregnancy be a high risk nightmare, but I can't imagine adding one more kiddo into the mix… Owen?! Really? Was that a serious question?"

"I guess not," he shrugged. "Let's stick to grandbabies. Less diapers and fewer sleepless nights." He leaned back toward his wife and kissed her. "Amelia Shepherd," he cooed, "I love you more than life itself."

Later that day, Amelia slipped into a dictation room between surgeries. After completing her charting, she remained in the room and typed out a response to Lissa's email.

 _Dearest Lissy-Lou,_

 _I was so thrilled to hear from you this morning. The pictures that you sent are so adorable, but you need to find a way to stop Molly from growing! Before we know it, she'll be walking and talking non-stop._

 _Your note worries me - you sound lonely, sweetheart. I hope you'll find some ways to plug in and meet other young moms. Maybe some of Nolan's classmates have spouses? How far away are Rob and Steph? Too far for regular visits or something worth scheduling?_

 _To answer your questions:_

 _Anna's new school is fabulous. The administration thinks of everything – there are no florescent lights (they flicker and bother some kids), soft music plays in the hallways, and multiple recesses break up the day. She's thriving and really enjoys the smaller class sizes._

 _Lucas is now missing both upper middle teeth and the ones on either side of the middle teeth on the bottom. His lisp is absolutely adorable. He only seems to mind it when Ryder harasses him about it._

 _Ria will undergo surgery over Thanksgiving Break. She'll recuperate during St. Frances' week off and may miss another week of school. She asks about Nolan constantly and misses the three of you._

 _Olivia is loving high school. A sophomore asked her to homecoming, and they wore coordinating dresses. It was darling. She'll reprise her role in The Nutcracker again this year and has convinced Owen to allow her to dance at three Los Angeles performances and five New York shows. She can barely contain her joy._

 _Girlfriends or dates? Ryder's had both since you left. Jen was out as quickly as she appeared – I wonder if she broke up with him because he couldn't stop vilifying her. I've never seen him fret over an ex before. The break up actually took him out of the dating pool for a few weeks. Good ole Julie spent time with him and seemed to nurse him through the low points. He's currently dating a tiny five foot sophomore named Monica. She giggles nonstop and stares at him with starry eyes constantly. A little adoration seems to be good for his wounded ego. Julie finds the relationship humorous and likes to ask Ryder if his girlfriend has grown up enough to stay up past 8pm._

 _You're right - The hospital is as busy as always. I've been trying to decide if I want to step away from being the Head of Neuro. The administrative responsibilities are tiring, and I'd rather be in the OR. Owen knows Derek would eagerly accept the position and would do a great job. Rather than be a hospitalist, I might open a practice and keep my privileges at the hospital._

 _I hope the three of you are able to come home for Christmas. When will you know your plans? Owen and I chatted about the possibility of flying the family to England for the holidays… then we added up the cost of plane tickets. Once we regained consciousness (ha!), we realized that wasn't advisable._

 _Even though it seems like Thanksgiving is far away, it'll be here soon. We need to plan to Skype – what time works for you? 10am our time would be 6pm yours, but maybe that doesn't work for Nolan. I doubt Oxford recognizes Thanksgiving. We could do later in the day, but we'd want to see Molly too. Think about it and check with Nole. We'll make something work._

 _I love you dearly, Lissa. Please give Nolan and Molly our hugs and kisses._

 _Amma._


	56. Chapter 56 - Perspective

**Chapter 56**

 **An Imperfect Life – Perspective**

 **Mid-December**

Nolan and Lissa, almost 22;

Molly 9 months (bday mid March);

Baby Tremblay 22 wks (4/5 due date); Molly's sib 25 wks (3/15 due date)

Ryder 18 in January; Julie 18 (Seniors in high school)

Olivia 15 in February (Freshman in high school)

Ria and Anna 10 in January

Lucas 8 ½

"Ryder, you need to get out of bed," Owen restated abruptly as he knocked loudly on the door.

"No school today. Ice and snow. Heard it on the radio," Ryder mumbled.

"And Mom and I need to get to the hospital before all the car accidents occur," Owen sighed. "We need you to watch the kids."

"Let them sleep in. I'll get up when they do," Ryder begged.

"Luke is already awake and wants to play outside. Ria needs her pain meds in an hour, and Olivia's in the shower. You're in charge. You need to be awake," Owen pointed out with impatience.

"Owen? We need to go," Amelia called out from the Master Bedroom.

"I'm trying to rouse your hibernating bear," he quipped with slight exasperation.

Amelia appeared in the doorway and rushed past Owen on her way to Ryder's bed. "Baby Bear. Up. Now."

"This is unjust," he protested.

"Enough whining, Ry. Dad and I need to leave," Amelia stressed.

"Arrrrrrgggghhhh," he moaned without moving. Amelia grasped the corner of the blanket and comforter and pulled. "Holy Cow, Mom!" Ryder screamed as he clenched his fists on the sheet so he'd remain covered. "I'm naked under here, lady."

With a shrug and a sideways grin, Amelia pointed out, "Might want to get that naked ass out of bed before we have a tug of war with the sheet."

"I'm standing up in five seconds. Go, please," Ryder demanded dryly.

Amelia giggled as she led Owen out of the room. "Do we wait until he shows his face?" she questioned.

From the other side of the door, Ryder retorted, "You can if you want." He opened the door and was wearing a pair of boxers. "Awake. See? Go save lives."

"Oh, Baby Bear, you're so adorable when you're a Growly Gus," Amelia teased as she placed her hands on his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"Grrrr," Ryder taunted with a sneer.

As he headed toward the stairs, Owen insisted firmly, "No driving or leaving the house."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ryder replied as he brushed off his father.

"I mean it," Owen stressed on his way down the stairs. Ryder shook his head slowly and rolled his eyes as he silently imitated his father.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Rule out broken hip in Room 3, broken wrist in Curtain 4 waiting for a cast, broken arm in Curtain 6 awaiting surgical consult…" April summarized as she and Owen walked rapidly through the ER.

"And a full waiting room. Who's on triage?" Owen inquired.

"O'Leary and the big tall guy… I can't remember his name," April answered.

"Me either," Owen grimaced as he approached the board and surveyed the display. "Treat and street Curtains 1, 3, 7, 8, and 9. Send lowest level docs possible into treatment rooms and clear the rooms. Have one of the residents ensure all trauma rooms are fully prepared, and page Torres."

"We have. Three times," April disclosed. "Not even an answer."

"What about Wilson?" Owen sighed.

"In Treatment Room 1 – sledding accident. She-Shepherd's in there too."

"If the patient's stable, get Wilson over to Curtain 6," Owen advised. "I'll head over to Room 3."

"Good morning, I'm Dr. Hunt. Tell me what happened," he began as he introduced himself to a woman in her 80s.

"I hurt like crazy, Doctor," she conveyed as she winced and lightly touched her side.

He reviewed the chart and checked her IV, "Looks like you have morphine running. It's not helping?"

"The nice lady nurse just set that up," the lady grinned.

"You should start to experience relief any second now," Owen smiled. "Can I take a look at your hip?" The lady nodded and he proceeded to palpate the side of her hip and upper leg.

"Scans are up, doctor," the nurse reported as she posted them to the light board.

"Your tumble caused quite a break, ma'am. We're going to keep up the morphine and transfer you to a patient room until a surgeon is available to operate. Do you have anyone we should call?" Owen summarized and proposed.

"Yes, my son, Michael. He can call his siblings," the patient shared as she jotted down the number and handed it to the nurse. She turned to Owen and gushed, "Doctor, you have such compassionate eyes. I can tell that you are a kind man."

Blushing, Owen sputtered, "Thank you." He turned to the nurse and ordered, "Make sure the hospitalist in Ortho is advised about the morphine. She doesn't need to be in any pain. Call the son and page me when he arrives. Let's clear the room asap."

"Doctor, please don't leave," the woman begged.

Turning back toward the patient, Owen forced a friendly face even though he knew chaos awaited him outside the room. "What can I do for you, Ma'am?"

The patient grasped his hand and smiled tenderly, "I meant what I said. I can tell that you deeply care about your patients. You're dedicated to your work." Owen smiled but did not respond, so she continued, "I see you're married. Do you have children? I bet you're an incredible father."

Impatient internally but wanting to appear kindhearted, Owen nodded, "Incredible is an exaggeration, but, yes, I'm a father. Six. My wife and I have six children and one granddaughter."

"You're too young to be a grandfather!" she laughed as she waved her hand in the air.

"I wish that were true," Owen chuckled. He knew that if he'd started fathering children in his 20s, they'd be about Nolan's age.

Whispering as if she was revealing a dark secret, the patient queried, "Teen parenting runs in the family, hmm?"

Owen was between wanting to sit with the patient all day and wanting to gasp in response to her nosy inquiry. Looking in her tender eyes, he knew her question was well-intended. "Actually, the three oldest kids, two boys and a girl, range from 14-21. My wife and I adopted them when my cousin died in a car accident."

"Oh dear," the patient tsk'd. "And the other three?"

"Biological children. The girls are twins and almost ten. Our boy is eight and a half," he shared.

With a sly grin, the patient squeezed his hand and pressed, "I'd love to see a picture."

Concluding that the patient had asked him to stay because she was scared and didn't want to be alone, Owen felt conflicted about leaving. However, he had a hunch the ER needed his hands. He answered with a grin, "I'll show you pictures, but then I need to step out."

The patient lengthened the doctor's visit with as much oohing and aahing as she could muster. After learning everyone's name and a little about each personality, she patted Owen's hand. "Family. Nothing… nothing at all is more important or valuable than family. But you already know that, don't you?" she maintained.

Thinking about his tense interactions with Ryder over the previous months, Owen admitted to himself that he'd lost sight of what mattered and what did not. A wedge had developed between them to the point that they barely spoke anymore. When they did, short fuses and nasty glares usually prevailed. As he pondered, he unconsciously shook his head slightly.

Continuing, the patient stressed, "Doctors are always full of advice, but now I'm going to advise you. Never let anything divide you from your children. No broken curfews or attitudes or arguments are worth it. Certainly, you need to be a parent and set expectations and boundaries, but don't hold grudges. Never lose sight of love and laughter. Family is what matters."

"You are wise," Owen chuckled. "Thank you. Your advice beats mine any day."

"Thank you for sitting with me, Dear. I'm sure you need to return to work." As Owen stood, the nurse returned to the room to check vitals.

Quietly, Owen slipped out of the room. He scanned and assessed the ER as a whole as he made his way to the board. While hectic, all seemed under control. When he saw Kepner, he asked, "Where do you need me?"

"Outside. Incoming MVA. Some guy thought he could ride his motorcycle on a day like today," she detailed.

Owen opened his mouth widely as he gritted his teeth. "This is gonna be bad. Page Amelia and have cardio on standby. Do we have any available residents?" he questioned.

"I'll send a couple in," she promised. "By the way, where have you been?" she inquired curiously.

"Continuing education," he scoffed as April scrunched her eyebrows in confusion and returned to the desk.

Outside in the cold, Amelia rubbed her hands over her arms and jumped to stay warm. Owen appeared behind her, tied her trauma gown at the neck and hugged her. "Ohhhh, you're nice and warm. Don't let my husband know I'll be wearing you as a coat for a few minutes."

"You're hilarious," he quipped as he rubbed his hands along her arms. Unlike his wife, Owen had brought along gloves and a heavy coat. He slipped his beanie off and put it on Amelia, then tightened the hood of his jacket around his face.

"I'm sure I look like an idiot with this," Amelia commentated as she patted her head.

"But you'll be a warmer idiot," he grinned as he rubbed his cheek against hers.

Nolan fixated on the ultrasound screen and encouraged Molly to look the baby. Tucked in her daddy's arms, Molly was far more interested in playing with her toy than in studying images. The tech removed the transducer and smiled at Nolan and Lissa, explaining, "Everything continues to look promising. The doctor will meet with you in a moment to discuss the details."

Once again, like every week prior, the Tremblay Hunt's sighed loudly with relief. When Molly heard her parents, she echoed their sighs.

"You're relieved too, huh, Molly Girl?" Lissa giggled. Molly smiled and reached down toward her mama.

Pulling a step backward, Nolan shared, "Mommy needs to sit up first, MoJo." With a staged pout, Molly widened her eyes and stared at her daddy. Ignoring the act, Nolan chose to look away.

"I don't know how you can ignore that face," Lissa mused. "She's irresistible."

"Because the more attention we give it, the more often we'll see it," he chuckled. "Pretty soon, it won't seem so adorable."

Lissa slid off the table and reached for her girl. When Nolan handed Molly to Lissa, she immediately burrowed her face into Lissa's neck and hair. Glancing at the clock, Lissa noted, "Someone's almost ready for a nap."

Reaching into the diaper bag, Nolan searched for her paci and blanky. Seeing them in Nolan's hand, Molly reached over, popped the paci in her mouth, and rubbed the edge of her blanky under her nose.

"Nolan! Lissa! What lovely test results this week," the doctor celebrated as he entered the room. "And Molly, how are you today?" he asked as he softly patted the baby's back. Molly turned away and hid in Lissa's hair.

Sitting down with the couple, the doctor explained that the viability rate would soon climb significantly with each passing week. "I'll be honest, 22 weeks is still far too early. However, at 24 weeks, the rate will rise to 39% and at 26 weeks, 80%. I'm hopeful. We see no signs of effacing or dilating, and the septum doesn't appear to be causing any problems whatsoever. Every week, we have a bit more relief."

"What about travelling for Christmas?" Lissa inquired eagerly.

"I'm sure you'd like to be with family for the holidays, but I'd feel far more comfortable if you waited another month before travelling," the doctor frowned with sympathy.

"It's just not worth the risk, Liss," Nolan agreed. Lissa gazed out the office window, knowing the truth of Nolan's words but not appreciating them.

"Have you determined if you plan to give birth here or in the US?" the doctor questioned as he turned to Nolan.

Nolan pursed his lips before responding, "We haven't. There are so many considerations. The final decision depends upon the timing of the birth of our daughter in Washington."

"I understand," the doctor assured him. "We'll be prepared should you decide to deliver here. Dr. Robbins and I have been in constant contact throughout the pregnancy, and she reviews the scans each week. You will be in capable hands in Seattle as well."

By the time the Tremblay Hunts arrived home, Molly was asleep. As Lissa prepared to rest, Nolan lay down next to her and snuggled her from behind.

"I miss this," Lissa stated softly as she grasped Nolan's hands. "I miss us."

"I'm right here, Blondie," Nolan responded, not quite clear about Lissa's statement.

Facing away from Nolan, Lissa struggled to express her feelings. "I know, but you're not always present… even when you're here. School takes up so much of your focus, Nole. I miss being together. I miss laughing and chatting with one another. I miss eating together and playing with Molly together."

"Oh," Nolan gently uttered with a sense of surprise. His studies consumed his thoughts and time so deeply that he hadn't considered the effect they were having on his marriage or family. He closed his eyes slowly and rested his head on his wife's pillow.

After a silent pause, Lissa continued, "I worry about you – you're always so tired and preoccupied. I miss you, Trems."

"I miss you too, Liss," Nolan mumbled as he attempted to steady his voice. Her words, while loving and honest, pained him. Without admonishing him and without intending to, Lissa helped him see their lives and reality far more broadly. Rather than sliding out of bed to study, as he had originally planned to do, Nolan stayed in place. As his girls napped, he processed his discovery that his decisions were impacting Lissa and Molly far more than he had stopped to consider.


	57. Chapter 57 - Our Hands Are Full

**Chapter 57**

 **An Imperfect Life – Our Hands Are Full**

 **Same day as Chapter 56, mid-December**

As its blinding red and white lights lit up the block, the ambulance turned off its siren and approached the ER. Owen opened the doors and called out, "What have we got?" He flipped his stethoscope off his neck and into his ears as he simultaneously listened to the patient's heartbeat and the paramedic's report. Amelia began a basic neuro exam as O'Leary and Wilson waited for the patient in the entry.

"Jason Thom, 23. Slid on the ice, ejected from bike, hit guardrail and landed on the curb. Watery and bloody drainage from both ears, possible left hip and ankle dislocations, BP 115/75, EKG and oxygen in the field, breathless, confused and tense," the EMT reported.

As the team swarmed, Owen announced, "Decreased breath sounds on the left, diastolic murmurs. O'Leary, be ready to start two large-bore IVs and monitor cardiac rhythm. Let's get pulse ox and BP ready. Page Cardio."

Looking down at the patient, Owen reassured him, "Jason, I'm Dr. Hunt. My team and I are going to take care of you."

"Chest is tearing apart, Doc," Jason sputtered out. "Ears were bad, now it's hard to hear. Wrist is f# $ed, hard to breathe."

"I know, Jason, I know," Owen acknowledged. "One step at a time. We're going to do everything we can. First, we need to sedate you and insert a tube to help you breathe."

The patient nodded subtly and responded, "If I'm asleep, I won't hurt."

"Exactly," Owen agreed as sedation was added to Jason's IV. Knowing he'd tasked O'Leary with something else, Owen skipped the teachable moment and intubated the patient himself.

Maggie burst through the doors, "I'm here. Wow… multiple injuries. Motorcycle?"

"Yep," Owen nodded quickly. "Pretty sure there's an aortic dissection. He's diaphoretic, breathless, weaker pulse and weakness on left, altered."

"BP?" Maggie inquired as she approached the field and studied the monitors behind the patient. A nurse handed Maggie the EKG from the ambulance.

"Steady at 115/75. O'Leary, why?" Owen reported.

O'Leary, attempting to focus on the IVs missed the question. "Sir?"

"Never mind. Pierce – simultaneous tension pneumo," Owen huffed.

"Let's be on top of everything before placing a chest tube, people. IV dose of nitroprusside needs to be administered one minute prior," Maggie ordered.

Wilson announced, "He has multiple dislocations on the left as well."

"That shouldn't affect pulse intensity," Maggie explained.

"Tried a chest tube yet, O'Leary?" Hunt questioned.

"Yes," she responded nervously.

"Good, prep it but _do not_ make the incision until Pierce cues you," Owen explained. He turned to the nurse and ordered, "Make sure there's a portable CT in the OR."

"Injecting," Pierce reported as she watched the clock. When sixty seconds had passed, she ordered, "Chest tube, O'Leary."

Under the intense pressure, O'Leary's hand was shaking as she prepared to make the incision. With no time to spare, Owen asked the nurse for a ten blade and grabbed the tube out of O'Leary's hand. A nurse pushed past O'Leary to provide suction. The intern stepped back slowly, feeling like a failure and unsure how to proceed.

More out of sympathy than need, Amelia demanded, "O'Leary, come over here," When O'Leary stepped over, Amelia began to run through the neuro portions of the case and review important information with the intern.

"Pierce?" Owen inquired.

"BP steady at 140/85. That's within reason and it will decrease quickly," Maggie detailed.

O'Leary leaned toward Amelia's ear and wondered aloud, "What just happened with the timed chest tube?"

"BP skyrockets with a damaged aorta and plummets with tension pneumo. That's why his blood pressure seemed normal upon arrival. Pierce wanted to avoid an extreme BP shift as the chest tube was inserted so quick acting BP meds were administered. The goal is to insert the chest tube just as the meds took effect," the neurosurgeon explained quietly.

"Patient's injuries aren't ortho urgent. I'm stepping away and will meet you in the OR. I'm suspecting the ribs might need plates. Have them page me as soon as scans are ready."

Owen nodded and looked at Amelia expectantly. She replied, "No noticeable neuro concerns. Page me with developments. I'll check on him post-op."

"Let's head up," Owen announced as he adjusted the side rail of the gurney. "Have Avery meet us in the OR to look at that exposed wrist and the ears." Turning back to Amelia and O'Leary, he barked, "O'Leary, watch from the gallery."

With a speedy exit toward the elevator, the room emptied. Amelia and O'Leary remained in the room and Amelia pursed her lips and glanced at the intern.

"I'm in trouble with him, aren't I?" O'Leary asked with hesitation.

"Our 17-year-old is in trouble with him on an ongoing basis. Our 14-year-old is in trouble when she wears too much makeup. You're his student. He's disappointed with you, but you're not in trouble. You weren't able to recite information or perform a procedure. Whether he should have expected you to rise to the occasion or not isn't up to me," Amelia explained.

Deflated, O'Leary sunk into herself and sighed, "I need to go to the gallery. Thanks, Dr. Shepherd."

As O'Leary turned to walk out, Amelia called out, "O'Leary?" The intern stopped walking and turned toward her superior. "He wants to teach you. Forget explanations and excuses. He'll respond best to candid humility. Say something like, 'I was in over my head. How can I learn to be more steady in an emergency?' If you didn't study, admit it. If your nerves took over, confess that. Ask for his advice and you'll be fine."

With a relieved smile, O'Leary stood taller and gushed, "Thank you so much."

"Somebody gave me the advice years ago. It's my turn to pass it on. Now, get outta here and get up to the gallery," Amelia winked.

By the time O'Leary sat down in the gallery, numerous doctors were working on the patient. Avery was assessing the wrist – layers of skin had been scraped away as the cyclist skidded mid-crash. Repair, to some degree, was possible. Recovery would be painful.

"I'll be able to reconstruct the wrist," Avery announced. "Did you review the scans? Are the bones as in tact as they appear?" he asked Wilson.

"The wrist is fine. His ribs are decimated. They need to be stabilized with titanium plates," she explained. "How soon can I work in that area?" Jo asked Maggie.

"The aorta is almost repaired. I'd prefer waiting overnight before you start drilling in plates. That might be too much strain for him," she advised.

"I need to address that top rib _now_ – otherwise we risk shredded vessels and organ damage around it. The ends are jagged," Jo insisted.

"Can you shave it down and smooth out the sharp spots?" Owen wondered aloud.

"Only if we want to increase healing time," Jo pointed out.

"As long as he remains stable, you can work on that _one_ rib. The others will have to wait," Maggie decided.

"Sounds good," Jo agreed. She studied the hip dislocation and analyzed the degree of cartilage damage while she waited to address the top rib. She'd be in surgery for hours.

Amelia entered the gallery and used the speaker to speak to Owen. "You need me down there?"

"No…" he responded without moving his eyes from the field. "We're good."

"I'm heading home then," she disclosed.

Owen popped his head up and offered his softened, begging eyes, "Wait and we'll go together. I won't be more than an hour."

"See you on 8, then," she responded, referring to the 8th floor on-call room.

She made her way to the small room and snuggled under a blanket. Before falling asleep, she sent Ryder a text, _How's the chaos?_

 _Exhausting. Messy. Fine,_ he responded almost immediately.

 _Poor little bear,_ she typed out, ending the text with a frowning emoji.

 _Can I go get Jules? Ice is melting,_ Ryder requested.

 _No dice. Dad was crystal clear, Ry,_ she reminded him.

He sighed as he typed back, _But it was colder and slipperier then._

 _No,_ she repeated.

 _And I thought you were the nice parent,_ he taunted. Amelia shook her head and chuckled. Writing back would only prolong the banter. Instead, she rested her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. Within minutes, she was sound asleep.

An hour later, Owen slid into the room. The faint light peeking through the curtains cast a soft glow in the room. As he slipped off his shoes, he watched his wife and thought about how he loved her as much as he ever had. She slept with a slight grin on her adorable face, and it captivated him. Throwing off his scrub top and pants, he slipped under the blankets and cozied up to her.

"Mmmmm," she hummed, hoping to rest longer yet loving his tender touch and presence.

He kissed her neck softly and nuzzled his nose along her skin as his hands groped her body.

"Sleep first, then play," she mumbled with a playful tone.

"Play first, then sleep," he whispered back as his hand slid under her scrub pants. She didn't stop him and surrendered to his lead. Within seconds, the deft surgeon had expertly removed all of her clothes. His firm, strong hands held her body steadily and she relaxed into his grip.

As they joined together in slow movement, she moaned softly with pleasure. To be intertwined and not have to worry about a child bursting into the room was freeing. They didn't need to have one ear focused on the hallway outside the door. Instead, they could entirely focus upon one another. With closed eyes, they could imagine a far more intriguing setting.

Owen rolled on to his back and Amelia straddled him. Their contented eyes were half-closed and their grins were playful. As she stretched her back and rolled her neck, the door flew open.

"Omigod! I… I'm sorry," O'Leary sputtered as she caught the sight of her naked superiors at play. The door slammed closed as quickly as she'd opened it. Amelia flopped her body onto Owen's chest with a disappointed sigh. He closed his eyes slowly as his face reddened.

"Crap," he grumbled.

"It'd be a shame to stop now…" Amelia flirted.

Wrapping his arms around his wife's slender body, he huffed and pulled her onto her side so they were lying chest-to-chest. He brushed her hair away from her face, then traced her lips with his finger. Leaning his forehead on hers, he announced, "Play first, horrified and embarrassed second, then sleep."

Her head rested on the pillow they shared as she stroked his upper arm. She whispered, "Lock door first, then sleep."

"I'm married to a brain surgeon," he quipped with a wink as he crawled out of the narrow bed and walked to the door. When he returned, he lay on his back and drank in the warmth of her body as she cuddled him. By the time they awoke, the ice had melted and the drive home was uneventful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Dad told you not to go anywhere," Olivia warned as Ryder threw on his coat.

"Yeah… so did Mom when I sent her a text. The roads are fine. It's no big deal," he insisted.

Olivia shook her head knowingly, "It doesn't matter if the ice is gone. Dad's gonna be mad that you ignored him."

"Just watch the kids and keep your mouth zipped, Beauty Queen," he instructed. "I'll be back in a few."

"What if they come home while you're gone?" Olivia pressed.

"Won't happen," he called out before closing the door between the hallway and garage. The large garage door ratcheted open and the van backed out.

Within minutes, another garage door opened and the SUV pulled in. Amelia noticed the empty space in the garage and commented, "What's that about?"

"What?" Owen inquired as he stopped the car and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"The van's not here," she stated with confusion.

"Damn him," Owen proclaimed. "I told him not to go anywhere in this weather, didn't I?"

"You did," Amelia confirmed with resignation, afraid the evening would now be full of tension and sneering. "Maybe he had a good reason," she attempted to put forth. Owen frowned as he gazed at her through the corner of his eyes, unconvinced by her hypothesis.

The parents made their way inside and found Olivia in the kitchen instructing Lucas. The two were in the midst of making cookies. "Keep stirring," Olivia advised. "You have to stir until you can't see the sugar, Sugar," she quipped, using a line Amelia had employed when Olivia was younger.

"Cookies?" Owen guessed as he approached the pair and peered over Lucas' shoulder.

"Uh huh," Lucas affirmed. "And you can have some when they're baked."

"When who's baked?" Amelia questioned as she entered the room.

With an uncomfortable and forced chuckle, Owen turned and corrected, "You mean 'what's,' right, Mia? 'When what's baked?'"

"Sure," she shrugged with a sideways grin.

"Livie's teaching me to make cookies," Lucas boasted.

"It's not like you haven't done it before, Lucas," Olivia commented with mild teenage disgust.

"But this time, I'm really listening and learning," Lucas pointed out.

Owen glanced at Amelia with a grin before inquiring, "So, guys, where's Ryder?"

"We were out of chocolate chips so he went to the store," Lucas explained as he stirred the batter diligently while the tip of his tongue covered one corner of his mouth.

"Hmm," Owen sounded as he sorted through the mail.

"I told him not to go, Daddy," Olivia insisted. "I told him you said he couldn't leave but he didn't listen to me."

"Welcome to my world, Olivia," Owen grumbled as he walked toward his office. "Welcome to my world."

"What's that mean?" Lucas questioned Amelia.

Amelia grinned and wrapped her arm around the little cook, "It means Daddy thinks Ryder never listens to him. Since Ryder didn't listen to Livs, Daddy's telling her he understands what that's like."

"Dad's right," Lucas nodded. "Ryder doesn't listen to him. He only does what Julie says."

Raising one eyebrow, Amelia considered Lucas' observation as she made her way to the other side of the kitchen island and pulled up a barstool.

A few minutes later, as the Sugar continued to stir the sugar into the mix, Ryder popped through the door with a bag in his arms. In addition to a couple sodas, the bag contained the chocolate chips. He threw them toward Olivia unexpectedly and yelled, "Think fast." The chips hit Olivia in the chest before landing on the counter.

"Why do you have to be so annoying?" Olivia asked with exasperation.

"You're welcome, Olivia. It was my pleasure to buy the chocolate chips for you, Princess," Ryder offered sarcastically as he walked behind his sister and nudged her.

"Ryder!" Owen called out from his office.

"That's me," Ryder responded nonchalantly as he hugged Amelia and questioned, "And how's Mama Bear?"

"Tired but fine. I'd be more worried about Papa Bear if I were you," she warned before standing and heading upstairs to change.

"Now, Ryder," Owen prompted.

As Ryder casually strolled toward the office, Lucas leaned over to Olivia and reminded her, "You told him he'd get in trouble."

"I know," Olivia agreed as she poured the chips into the batter.

"Now he's gonna get it," Lucas declared, unsure exactly what Ryder would get.

"What part of 'don't leave the house' was unclear, Son?" Owen barked before Ryder was fully inside the office. Ryder blinked and remained silent, hoping Owen would release his steam and calm down.

"Sit," Owen ordered as he leaned against his desk. Slouching in the chair, Ryder sat and stared at his dad.

"Did you have an answer? I asked you a question," Owen growled.

"You were clear," Ryder confessed without emotion, "but it was icy this morning. The roads are fine now."

"What if they hadn't been?" Owen proposed. Ryder raised his shoulders toward his ears and grimaced.

"Did Mom or I change the instructions?" Owen pressed.

"No," Ryder admitted.

"But you left anyway," Owen huffed with frustration.

Ryder stood up and pointed out, "The kids needed something for their cookies. I drove less than five miles round trip. I went to the grocery store and came home. And you know what? I didn't see even an inch of ice."

"That's not the point," Owen steamed.

"There was ice on the roads this morning. That's why you told me not to leave. The ice is completely melted. Reason no longer applicable," Ryder argued.

"That's not the point," Owen repeated more calmly. "The point is that I was clear and you clearly ignored me."

"Cool play on words there," Ryder quipped, truly not seeing the situation as anything serious.

"Dammit, Ryder," Owen released with frustration. "Enough with the humor and arrogance. Enough with knowing better than anyone else. Enough."

With a sly grin, he couldn't resist confirming, "It's enough?"

Owen closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He knew Ryder was pushing buttons. Getting upset would only encourage Ryder further. After gathering his cool, Owen continued, "The issue is that I stated that you not leave the house today. If you felt the ice had cleared and wanted to leave, you should have been in touch with me first. You don't make the rules, Ryder, even though you've attempted to do so since childhood."

"You know, Owen," Ryder began, never having called his adoptive father by name, "Something tells me that Blake would've been a-ok with his seventeen-year-old, 4.0 grade point, Naval Academy-accepted son making an intelligent and informed decision like this on his own. For Olivia's sake, I hope you get over your terrified determination not to screw up parenting the Tremblay kids soon. My sister doesn't need to go through your dictatorial bullshit like Nolan and I have." His heart nearly burst through his chest as he stood there with his arms on his hips. He realized he'd shouted his argument and that words he didn't even know he believed had poured out of his mouth. In a word, Ryder was stunned. As he locked his jaw and tried to breathe deeply, Ryder found himself feeling simultaneously ashamed, frightened, and on the verge of tears.

Amelia, who'd heard every word on her way down the stairs, stood frozen as she leaned on the wall near the front door. If she'd been asked to predict the next few minutes, she would not have known what to say. In the kitchen, Olivia gazed toward the office with shock. She felt as though she couldn't begin to comprehend the nuances and depth of Ryder's words.

Feeling eviscerated, Owen folded his arms to hold himself together. He stared at his shoes for a moment. Then, without making eye contact with Ryder, he steadied his body and walked out of the room.

As Owen silently walked past his wife and headed up the stairs, Amelia reached out her hand and brushed it along Owen's arm. She whispered his name softly.

Ryder stepped out of the room and walked to the kitchen. He stopped at the stool and threw his coat on.

"Where are you going?" Amelia inquired calmly when she appeared in front of him.

"Out," Ryder offered as he stormed past her and stomped to the garage.

Nolan and Lissa, almost 22;

Molly 9 months (bday mid March);

Baby Tremblay 22 wks (4/5 due date); Molly's sib 25 wks (3/15 due date)

Ryder 18 in January; Julie 18 (Seniors in high school)

Olivia 15 in February (Freshman in high school)

Ria and Anna 10 in January

Lucas 8 ½


	58. Chapter 58 - Deep Down

**Chapter 58**

 **An Imperfect Life – Deep Down**

 **Same day as Chapter 56 and 57, mid-December**

 _ **Be forewarned: there's not a great deal of Omelia in this and the next chapter. Sorry!**_

 _Can I come over?_ Ryder's text to Julie read.

She responded, _Your dad's letting you drive in this mess? Freezing rain predicted._

Parked just down the street from the Lake House gate, Ryder brushed a tear from his eye and typed, _I really need to talk._

 _Want me to call?_ Julie inquired.

 _No. Can I come over?_ Ryder repeated.

Julie knew this was not the jovial, goofy, quick-thinking Ryder who existed 90% of the time. The person texting her was the brooding, terrified, complex, and wounded soul that was deeply buried and hidden from the world. _Lemme ask,_ she wrote back.

While he waited, Ryder sought to catch his breath as the tears began to fall at full force. He repeatedly reminded himself not to hyperventilate as he surrendered to his pain. His emotions piled upon one another as he became angry at himself for sobbing.

 _He says yes but wants to talk to your parents first,_ Julie shared.

 _I'm not home,_ he confessed. _Call my mom._

Julie called Amelia's cell phone and spoke to her. After explaining to Adam that Ryder and Owen had exchanged heated words, Amelia asked if Ryder could stay the night. Without hesitation, Adam agreed. Relieved to know where Ryder would be that night, Amelia thanked her friend.

Before hanging up, Adam checked on her by questioning, "Are you ok?"

"Just a tough night, you know?" she replied through her weeping. "A tough night after a tough day."

"Do you need to go to a meeting? I can take you…" he offered.

Interrupting, Amelia insisted, "Really. I'm good."

"Promise you'll call me if you change your mind," he insisted.

"Deal," Amelia agreed. "And thanks for letting Ry stay over."

 **England**

Listening to James Taylor's _Another Grey Morning_ and living it out line by line was not helping Lissa with her homesickness and pregnancy-related hormonal emotionality. The darkened afternoon skies poured nonstop rain in front of the window as she did the dishes – the drizzle made it impossible to tell one drop apart from another.

Nolan had finally finished working on a project that was due before the Christmas holiday. Thinking he was performing a tremendous favor, he had taken Molly with him when he headed to campus to turn it in. Having alone time, Nolan reasoned, would be a wonderful treat for his wife. From Lissa's point of view, self-care didn't even make the list. Instead, Molly's absence provided Lissa with an uninterrupted opportunity to clean the house. The concept that cleaning and alone time were not synonymous did not enter Nolan's mind.

Feeling as locked up inside as the woman in James Taylor's song, Lissa paused and stared out the window. Stopping for the first time in months, Lissa felt sadness rise from the depths of her being. Inexplicable tears flowed down her cheeks. Rather than questioning them, she dissolved into their presence. Her loneliness drowned her as its dam of denial broke open and flooded her eyes. Before long, she slid down onto the floor and wrapped her arms around her bent legs as she sobbed.

Finally having a moment to let down, Lissa admitted how miserable she was in England. She'd yet to make any friends and Freia usually wore headphones when she came over to cook and clean. Seeing Nolan was a rare event. Talking to her baby was her only steady source of verbal interaction. With a vocabulary limited to _Dada, Mama_ , _Nam_ , interchangeably used for her paci and blanky, _Mo,_ for more, and _Ba_ , for bottle, Molly's participation as a conversation partner was limited.

Nolan returned forty minutes after leaving. When he and Molly walked through the door, she was giggling and calling _mo_ as he rubbed his nose and mouth into her tummy with a playful growl. Lissa did not hear them approaching the house and looked up with surprise as Nole opened the door.

"Hey," he offered slowly with concern as he saw his wife with reddened eyes and patchy coloring on her cheeks.

Wiping her tears off and forcing a slight smile, Lissa made brief eye contact with her husband before locking eyes with Molly. Lissa stood and reached out for her daughter. After handing the baby to his wife, Nolan turned off the water Lissa had unconsciously left running.

"Hi, Molly Mol. Did you have fun with Daddy?" Lissa crooned.

"Uh oh," Molly commentated as she rubbed her chubby hand clumsily over her mama's swollen eyes.

"Mama's ok, Baby," Lissa attempted to reassure her daughter.

Unconvinced, Molly looked at Nolan and repeated, "Uh oh."

Nolan wrapped his arm around Lissa's shoulders and rested his other hand on Molly's back, "Mommy's sad, isn't she? Is she crying?"

In response, Molly dissolved into tears and reached for her daddy crying for her blanky, "Nam…nam…nam."

He cradled her in his broad chest and rocked his hips back and forth. Snuggling _nam_ against her tiny body and popping the paci in her mouth, Nolan reassured her, "We're here with Mama. She's ok." In need of a nap, Molly continued to cry until she surrendered to sleep in Nolan's arms.

With light and careful footsteps, Nolan proceeded to Molly's crib and set her down in it. When he returned to the kitchen, Lissa was busying herself with the remaining dishes.

Approaching from behind, Nolan set a hand on either of her shoulders and whispered, "What's up, Shorty?"

"Hormones," Lissa lied as she offered a fake giggle.

Nolan bent so his head was lower and he rubbed his cheek against Lissa's. In a gentle voice, he said softly, "Liar."

Chuckling, Lissa continued the dishes until Nolan reached over her and turned off the running water. Pulling her around so the two were chest to chest, he studied her sunken eyes and pale skin before reminding her, "It's me, Liss. Tell me what's up, Babe."

"Really, it's nothing," she shook her head. With a weak scoff, she explained, "I was doing the dishes and the water works just came out of nowhere. Next I knew, I was a sobbing lump on the floor."

"Come sit with me," Nolan nudged as he guided her toward the sofa. He sat in the corner and leaned her tiny body into his strong chest. Instead of asking a question, he stated what he'd tried to deny for months, "This move has been hard for you. You're unhappy here."

Staring at the wall as her body began to flood again, she assured him, "I've tried so hard, Nolan. I'm trying. I really am."

"I know," he grimaced, knowing she could not see his face. His passion and love for the experience was as strong as her misery. Deep down, he'd known that for some time. Sitting together at the end of the term, this was the first opportunity the couple had to voice their reality.

"I _want_ to be happy here. I'm just so… alone," Lissa whimpered, resisting the urge to point out Nolan's nearly constant absence.

Nolan pondered how to disclose his suggestion. He began incrementally, "Maybe we should fly home during break."

"The doctor said not yet," she reminded him.

"Then I'll hire a nurse or doctor to travel with us," Nolan countered with confidence. "I can't stand to see you so empty and down."

When the doctor advised that Lissa not fly to the States over Christmas, the couple made a plan for the holidays that included traveling to Paris for a few days. Lissa knew Nolan was anticipating the experience. After they returned to England, he'd hoped to settle in at the house and dwell in simply being together as a family. Rather than returning to the States, Nolan was eager to put down roots in England and slow the pace of his chaotic life. Visiting Seattle would not be as relaxing for him, and Lissa knew that.

"Let's stay here. _This_ is our home," she insisted, ignoring her own needs.

"You hate it here," Nolan stated plainly.

"I don't _hate_ it. I'm just lonely. Every day is the same. They flow into one another and blur. Sometimes, I can't remember what day it is," she attempted to clarify as she searched for words to describe how much she missed Nolan's presence. Not wanting to discourage him, she hoped to word her experience carefully. "I don't mind the routine. The routine works well for both Molly and me. I like having her on a schedule. But I'm alone all the time…well, alone with Molly."

After a slight pause, he continued to press for a return to the States, "I can stay in Seattle until mid-January. It'll do us both good to be home."

" _You_ can stay until mid-January? What are you trying to say, Trems?" Lissa inquired with hesitation.

Leaning his head against hers, Nolan tenderly proposed, "Maybe being home during the last trimester would be better for you. You'd have incredible support for Molly and surround yourself with family and friends. I'd be back in the States by mid-March."

"Wherever we are, I'll be with you for the next four weeks, Babe," he promised. "I'll be around so much that you'll be sick of me by the time I start school. You'll want me out of your hair by the time mid-January arrives."

She knew that would not be the case. Instead, she'd only yearn for him more after having him close by and present for a month. Truly, the underlying issue was that she hated Nolan being in school and having tremendous demands placed upon his time. She missed the days of the previous summer when they had few commitments and parented Molly together. In her dream world, both she and Nolan would be home full-time admiring and raising their babies. In the life that was unfolding before them, Nolan's presence at home would be limited until his retirement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 **Julie's home**

"Hi," Ryder muttered as Julie opened the door and regarded him with shock. His face was ashen and sullen. He'd obviously been crying.

Julie stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around his body. With tenderness, she held him silently until he eased his grip. Then she whispered, "Come on in."

Following her into the consistently dim Living Room, Ryder sat down as he surveyed the room.

Reading his mind, Julie responded, "Dad's at a meeting." With a chuckle, she admitted, "I can't believe he allowed you to be here while I'm home alone." Julie sat down in a chair across from the couch and studied Ryder's face. "Wanna tell me what's going on or wanna be left alone?" she questioned.

"No," he grinned, answering both questions with one word. "No to both." When he stopped speaking, he stretched out on the couch and threw a pillow on top of his face.

After resting her chin in her hand, Julie offered, "Something to drink? Or eat? What can I get you, Ry?"

He reached out his hand, seeking her grasp. She wrapped her hands on either side of his and rested her elbows on her knees. His body began to shudder as the tears resumed. Julie remained in place for ten minutes without comment. Squeezing her hand before releasing his, Ryder pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed out a text to Owen, _I am truly sorry, but not ready to talk._ He set his phone on the coffee table and sought Julie's grasp.

"I told him my real dad would trust me more than he does. I accused him of being a dictator… called him Owen," Ryder reported in fits and starts as he focused on the ceiling with a vacant stare.

Flatly, Julie inquired, "Why would you do that, Ryder?"

"He was pissed that I ran to the store because he told me not to go anywhere today. Actually, he was pissed I didn't ask him first and said, 'You don't make the rules even though you've tried for years.'"

"He's right about the rules," Julie responded without judgment or emotion.

Ryder glanced at his friend and admitted, "I know. I think that's why I was such an ass." Choosing not to respond, Julie decided to remain silent so Ryder could process the experience internally. A text tone sounded and Ryder read Owen's brief response, _Me too, R. Me too._ After what seemed like an hour, Ryder confessed, "I'm kind of scared to face him."

"Why?" she pressed, not sharing her theories.

"I don't know what's going to happen… if I'll be in trouble… if he'll finally lose his cool and smack me… More than that, I can't ever take those words back. There is no way to apologize for what I said. 'Sorry' doesn't cover it," he sputtered.

Again, Julie offered no verbal response. Instead, she stood up and nudged Ryder's head and shoulders upward as she slid under them and sat on the sofa. She brushed his hair with two fingers, and he closed his eyes as he felt her motherly touch. Transported to one of his most distinct memories of Kayla, Ryder closed his eyes as he imagined his head was resting in his mother's lap. Within minutes, he was asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Owen lay on the bed staring at the ceiling through his half-opened eyes. His jaw was firmly set as his gritted teeth pushed against each other. With his arms folded across his body, he breathed slowly and deeply.

Tentatively opening the door as she knocked on it softly, Amelia peeked in and wondered aloud, "Can I come in?"

Without moving anything but his mouth, Owen snapped, "Your room, too, isn't it?"

She paused halfway between the door and the bed. Her hand rested over her heart, and she pursed her lips.

Remaining still, Owen questioned without emotion, "Did you need something?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I need to know if you're ok." She completed her trek to the bed and rested her back against the headboard. When she reached her hand out and touched Owen's arm, he flinched. She pulled her hand back and bent her legs. Her forearms rested on her knees and her cheek was set on top.

As she regarded her husband, he flashed his eyes at her then returned to gazing upward. "I don't want to discuss it, Mia" he insisted firmly.

Turning her head so that her chin rested on her arms and her gaze pointed forward, tears welled in her eyes. Without a doubt, being shut out of his pain was deeply isolating. She wanted so badly to listen and be there for him; however, she knew that pressing him to share his emotions would only increase his resistance. Summoning up courage to share her observations, Amelia acknowledged, "His words were razor sharp… I'm so sorry, Owen. So, so sorry."

"What part of 'I don't want to discuss it' was unclear, Amelia?" he growled.

"He's spending the night at Adam and Julie's," she shared as she stood up to leave the room.


	59. Chapter 59 - Isolated

**Chapter 59**

 **An Imperfect Life – Isolated**

 **Two days after Chapters 56-58**

As the Littles and Olivia poured cereal and passed the milk, the tension between Amelia and Owen were palpable. Able to read the room, Olivia intermittently glanced up at her parents between bites. Lucas, Anna, and Ria chatted amongst themselves and discussed their plans for the day.

Ryder had stayed one night at Julie's. When Owen made it clear the following morning that he wasn't ready for Ryder to return, Lynne offered her spare bedroom to him. From the first moment, Ryder thanked Lynne for accommodating him and politely stated that he had no interest in discussing the situation with her. Lynne provided him ample space and offered to bring over anything Ryder might want from his bedroom.

"Are you ready yet?" Amelia inquired.

"No," he responded with a bite of cereal in his mouth. He knew she was referring to Ryder coming home.

Swallowing slowly, Amelia lowered her voice and emphasized, "He's a kid, Owen. We all did and said stupid and insensitive words at his age."

Raising his eyebrows, he pointed out, "Never to my father, Amelia. Never in a million years would I have even begun to imagine speaking to a parent that way."

"Are you talking about Ryder, Daddy?" Lucas questioned.

"Mom and I are talking, Lucas. You don't need to listen," he stated flatly.

Lucas sighed. His eyelids weighed heavily over his eyes as he asked, "I kind of miss him."

Reaching her hand over toward Lucas, Amelia agreed, "Me too, Monkey."

"Then go see him," Owen grumbled as he stood, carried his bowl to the sink, and proceeded to the garage.

"Why didn't Daddy say goodbye to us?" Ria wondered as his abrupt departure registered.

Olivia leaned her head toward her sister and suggested, "Maybe it's better that way. He's pretty crabby today."

The house phone rang and all three girls scrambled toward it. Although they seldom received calls on the house phone, answering it was always a competition.

"Shepherd Hunt Residence. Olivia speaking," the fastest sister answered.

"Livs! It's Nolan. How are you?" the eldest wondered.

"Wow! Hi!" Olivia celebrated. She turned toward everyone else and announced, "It's Nolan!" Returning her focus to his brother, Olivia inquired about Molly and Lissa.

"They're doing well. Molly is here in my arms trying to steal the phone, and Lissa's resting in the other room," he explained.

"Does she look super pregnant yet?" Olivia questioned.

"She has a baby bump," Nolan chuckled. "Molly and I can feel the baby kick sometimes. It's really incredible." As Molly babbled in the background, Nolan requested, "Is Mom around?"

Olivia hollered out for Amelia, who walked over slowly. The twins and Lucas all pulled at the phone and took a turn speaking to their brother. Lucas filled with giggles as Molly 'talked' to him. As he handed the phone to Amelia, he imitated the baby and shared his hunches about what she'd said to him.

"Hello," Amelia began, not knowing Molly maintained control of Nolan's phone.

"Nam, Dada," she babbled.

"Molly! Hi Sweetie," Amelia crooned. "It's Gamma. Hi!"

"Gaga," she responded.

"Ga-ma," Amelia coached.

"Nam," Molly shouted when Nolan handed her the blanky and paci she'd requested. The phone was an even trade for the comfort items in Molly's estimation.

"Hi, Mom," Nolan greeted.

"Listen to her! Nolan, she's talking," Amelia burst with joy.

"I listen to her _all day_ , Mom. Nonstop," he laughed.

"Tell me her words. What does she say?" Amelia encouraged.

"Dada, mo for more, nam for blanky and paci," Nolan listed, trying to recall her vocabulary.

"No Mama? Lissa must hate that," Amelia commentated.

"She says that too but I'm not going to repeat that word right now or someone will react," he assured his mom. "Oh, she can say ba for bottle too. The doctor told us she's ahead of schedule in the speaking department."

"I can't wait to see her," Amelia mourned. "She'll changed so much between now and March."

"That's actually why I'm calling," Nolan began. He explained Lissa's loneliness and dislike for England, admitting she'd never describe the situation with those words. With slight hesitation, he brought up the possibility of having Lissa and Molly live at the house until the spring. When Amelia asked what prompted the request, Nolan confessed that he was rarely home when school was in session. He worried about Lissa being so isolated, but couldn't imagine leaving his program.

"I'll need to discuss this with Dad," Amelia mentioned.

"Of course," Nolan responded. "Should I call him? I can explain my reasoning and everything."

"He's not in the best of moods lately. Let me consider our options. He and Ryder had a pretty serious disagreement. Ry's living with Lynne," Amelia shared.

"Holy crap," Nolan replied with surprise. "What the hell did Ryder do now?"

"It wasn't all him, Nolan," Amelia defended.

"Right," Nolan piped up with denial.

"They both crossed some lines," Amelia elaborated. "Dad was over-controlling and Ryder…" Her voice trailed off as she searched for words to describe what had occurred.

"Ryder, what? He threw a snit, didn't he? He needs to learn respect if he's going to have a career in the Navy," Nolan proposed like a concerned elder.

"He mentioned Blake…" she began slowly. Her voice sounded empty as she continued, "Something about how Blake would have more faith in him than Dad does… he called Dad a dictator, or something along those lines. It was intense."

"And brave… and stupid," Nolan huffed with disgust, wishing he could knock some sense into his brother.  
"How did Dad respond?"

"Quietly," Amelia described. A dead silence hung on the phone line. Both Nolan and Amelia knew that Owen was a mess under the surface when the yelling ceased and the silence began.

"Maybe it's a bad idea to add the T-H's into the mix. You have your hands full," Nolan observed.

"Actually, having Molly here would probably soften the tension. I'll plant the seed tonight and let you know how it goes," Amelia assured him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Although Ryder was expected to stay at Lynne's and only leave for specific reasons, Lynne chose to allow Julie to visit. Julie could reach him in a way nobody else could, so Lynne reasoned that little harm could come from her presence. Girlfriends, on the other hand, were not allowed to visit. Much to Lynne's surprise, Ryder didn't seem worried about the boundary.

Letting herself in, Julie stepped inside and hung up her coat. She leaned against the wall and exhaled, wondering about Ryder's emotional state. _Why do I even bother to wonder?_ She pondered. _He's been melancholy since the fight._

At the Lake House, the atmosphere was more formal and emphasized appropriate behavior. At Lynne's cottage, the feeling was far more cozy and relaxed. While Julie would never help herself to a soda at the main house, doing so at Lynne's was comfortable. She opened a soda and nudged a sleeping Ryder in the knee.

Opening one eye, Ryder grunted, "Hmph."

"Wake up, Sloth," she ordered.

"Come sit," he encouraged as he sat up and patted the space where his head had just been.

Without moving toward him, Julie insisted, "You need to move today. Go for a run. Play with the dogs. Something active."

"First… sit with me," he coaxed.

As she obliged, she countered, "Why?"

"Because I like resting my head in your lap and talking to you. It's the one thing that helps me feel better," he confessed.

"That's a pretty sad commentary, RB," Julie grimaced. "You really need a life."

"I just gave you a compliment, Julia," Ryder pointed out dryly.

"Mmm Hmm," she responded with doubt. "We're going to run one minute for every minute we sit like this."

"You're the meanest coach ever," he whined.

His green eyes studied her face as he rested his hands on his stomach. Julie's familiar fingers stroked Ryder's hair as she related, "I hate seeing you so sad. When are you and your dad going to talk?"

"He's giving me the cold shoulder. It's weird. I guess I need to wait for him to be ready," Ryder commented.

"Maybe you could write him a note," she suggested. When Ryder didn't respond, Julie dropped her gaze to his face. He was staring at her with softened eyes and appeared to be elsewhere. Rubbing her hand along his hair, she nudged, "Ry? Are you with me?"

"A note's a great idea," he indicated as he drank in her presence.

Feeling awkward and uncomfortable, Julie protested with a soft chuckle as she asked, "What?"

"You really are beautiful," he proclaimed as he reached up and swept her hair behind her ear. As he began to lower his hand, he grasped hers and set their connected hands on his chest.

Lowering her eyebrows, Julie shook her head and questioned, "What's… what's this about?" Ryder couldn't tell if her furrowed brows were rooted in frustration or confusion. She slid her hand out from under his as she repeatedly blinked her eyes.

Sitting up and stretching out his arms high above his head, Ryder replied while facing away from her, "Yeah… umm… right. Sorry. Got caught up in the moment." He turned and glanced her way, continuing, "Not that you aren't beautiful… you are. You are beautiful. But not like that, I mean… for me. Oh geesh… I mean…"

"Shut. Up. Ryder," Julie instructed. "The pit you've dug is deep enough. Besides that, it's weird. I don't know what to do with you when you're weird."

Locking his eyes on hers, Ryder apologized, "I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do anything that made you uncomfortable. Can I try to explain my weirdness?"

"Yeah, I guess," she confirmed reluctantly as she folded her arms in front of her body.

"I feel so isolated. My family is just up the path but I can't go visit them. I've messed up my relationship with my dad… maybe forever. You've been so caring. I want to melt into you," Ryder tripped.

"Melt into me? Is that a sex reference, RB? What's your deal?" Julie protested with confusion.

"No. I don't mean it like that. Honestly," Ryder struggled to disclose, "I want to hold you and I want you to hold me. I'm not trying to cross any lines, Jules. I can't even explain what I'm feeling. You're right, I am weird."

Julie pulled her lips inward and tried to slow her chest-level breathing. A sprinkling of tears snuck into her eyes. Setting any resistance aside, Julie reached over and wrapped her arms around Ryder's muscular chest. Her cheek rested on his shoulder and chest as she closed her eyes. Almost involuntarily, Ryder kissed the top of her head as his arms reciprocated her embrace. He rested his cheek against her hair and drank in the reassurance that he was not alone.


	60. Chapter 60 - How I Feel

**Chapter 60**

 **An Imperfect Life – How I Feel**

 **Mid-December**

During fall term, Ryder had caught Amy smiling softly at him. She was a sophomore at St. Frances, basically Olivia's age. Initially, he didn't have much interest in her. Usually, he responded to her with a quick nod. As the term went on, he noticed she would watch him curiously in the hallway or lunch room. When he tried to meet her eye, she'd quickly look away or pretend she hadn't been watching him. Just before break, he approached her and introduced himself.

Rather than teasing her or boasting that he was a sight to behold, Ryder approached Amy in a far gentler way. In the hallway one day, he sauntered over to her and extended his hand. He disclosed with charm, "Hi, I'm Ryder. I'm embarrassed to admit this… I find myself admiring you and seem to have bad timing – you nearly always catch me."

Amy laughed softly and shook Ryder's hand, "Amy. Pleasure to meet you."

Playing his cards carefully, Ryder brought the conversation to a quick close, "Amy. Hi. Now if you catch me acting like a stalker, you'll at least know my name."

"And vice versa," she smiled shyly.

He winked and explained, "I need to get to class. Nice to know your name, Amy. I'm sure we'll catch eyes again soon."

As the week progressed, Ryder made a point of catching Amy's eye. Usually, his gaze was timed as he was joking with friends or serving as the center of attention. The length of their glances grew and began to include smiles and gestures. Three days after introducing himself, Ryder asked Amy if she'd like to go out after Christmas. She readily – perhaps too eagerly – accepted and began counting the moments until their date.

After he entered their date in his phone, he didn't think about it again until an alarm reminded him about the next day's commitment.

 **December 20**

In the meantime, Ryder found himself living at Lynne's and following Julie's advice about writing a letter to Owen. As she stretched out on the sofa flipping through a magazine, he struggled to find words that spoke to his predicament.

 _Dad,_

 _I hope this letter can explain some stuff better than I did face-to-face yesterday. Thanks for reading this._

 _I wish I could make sense of the words that spilled from my mouth that day. I really can't believe what I said to you. My mind is still spinning… wondering where such hateful words came from. Again, I really apologize for pitting you against my bio-dad's memory. It was out of line and unfair._

 _You and I have both known for a long time that I'm not interested in having kids. It's hard for me to imagine what you felt when we fought. I don't get the whole 'I love my kids more than life itself' mentality – maybe because I'm young and stupid. But I do know that you love me and that you've done so much for me (and Nole and Livs). It must've sucked to inherit three kids out of the blue, but I never once heard you complain about it. You stepped right in and were a Dad. That's pretty amazing._

 _I'm glad we talked and I hope we can talk more. Neither one of us will enjoy it – we're not 'talk about our emotions' kind of guys – but maybe it will help anyway._

 _Love, Ryder_

"What do you think?" Ryder asked eagerly as Julie read the letter.

"It's pretty good. You need to beef it up a little though, RB," she asserted. She grasped the letter in her hand and began to edit, explaining, " _and giving me a chance to beg for your forgiveness_ at the end of the second sentence."

"Beg?" he questioned.

"Absolutely," she confirmed. "And here? ' _It was out of line and unfair.'_ You need to write _I was out of line, disrespectful, and unfair. I wasn't who you've raised me to be."_ Ryder listened and scratched his head unconsciously. She continued, "And after the paragraph about not wanting kids and all that, add, _I understand you might decide to mete out consequences for what I said and did, and, I totally admit that I probably won't like them. But I took your words to heart as I've thought about them, and I understand I need to respect your decision and authority."_

"I don't think I can write 'authority,' that'll just encourage his… you know… umm… control freak ways," Ryder mused.

"How about _and honor your authority_?" she suggested.

"How about not?" Ryder grinned sideways.

"You know that you two don't get along because you're so much alike, right? You both want to live your own way. You're both smart and have enough brilliance to think you're always right. And you're both phenomenally stubborn," she pointed out.

"Jules…" he drawled out with warning. "Please don't compare me to him."

With a shrug, she insisted, "Deny it all you like, Ry. You can fool yourself if you really want to go that direction."

"Enough," he began to simmer. "I mean it. Stop comparing us."

In response, Julie offered a scoff and eye roll before mumbling, "Whatever, Ryder." She handed Ryder the marked up version of his draft and smirked. "Be a little more humble and it'll be well-received."

"Thanks," he uttered, distracted by the marks on the page that she'd made. Looking up at her, he grinned and repeated himself, "Thanks. I appreciate your help."

"Are you still grounded?" she inquired, hoping to take in a movie that evening.

"Nah… he gave in on that but said he was thinking about consequences. I'm sure slave labor will be involved," Ryder groaned.

"Since you're free, we should see a movie tonight," she suggested with hope.

Without disclosing the whole truth, Ry responded with a half-frown, "I can't. Already made plans."

Stunned, but trying to be nonchalant, Julie shrugged and smirked. "Oh," she uttered as if she didn't care. "Maybe another time then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Later that evening, Ryder celebrated his first night of freedom by taking Amy out to dinner and a movie. The two ate at a cozy restaurant with a fireplace and a quiet atmosphere. The dinner conversation consisted of getting to know each other and sharing funny stories. The more the two spoke, the more interested Ryder became.

After dinner, they drove to the theatre and he helped her out of the Jeep. As he planned the evening, he decided the Jeep was his best bet. Lissa's car was a mom car, the van and SUV were family cars. Without a doubt, he knew that asking to borrow the Boxster would be met with laughing and a definite no.

The wind picked up during their short walk through the parking lot. Ryder quickly removed his coat and set it on Amy's shoulders, leaving his arm around her after positioning the coat. The butterflies in Amy's stomach nearly enabled her to fly.

They found seats and Ryder offered to buy treats. With her order memorized, he proceeded to the concession area. He returned just as the lights dimmed for previews. Focusing on Amy and balancing the sodas and popcorn, he didn't see Julie sitting a few rows up. But Julie spotted him and tried to make sense of the jealousy that bubbled up as she sized Amy up and watched Ryder slip his arm around his date.

 **December 21**

As he sat in his office, Owen chuckled and teared up as he read Ryder's note. It was _so_ Ryder. He hadn't realized how much he missed his second son until he read his words and could easily imagine the words being spoken.

A part of Owen knew for certain that Ryder was a teenager seeking independence. Another part of him couldn't let go of the disrespect. Owen couldn't even begin to imagine how his mother would have reacted if he'd ever spoken to her the way Ryder spoke to him the last time they fought. He wanted to roar so loudly that his voice could be heard up and down the entire West Coast, but he knew that escalating would only exacerbate the tension between them. Raising his voice was effective with some of the kids, but it only energized arguments with Ryder.

Setting the letter down, Owen leaned back in his office chair and rested his hands behind his neck. He spun his chair around and gazed at the empty cat walk. Within a few seconds, Amelia stepped through the far door and caught his eyes. He leaned his head to the side, inviting her to join him, and she smiled as she nodded. She had just stepped out of surgery and her scrub cap remained on her head. She'd forgotten to remove the shoe covers when she left the OR, leaving her feet to resemble fluffy, light blue clouds.

Anticipating her arrival, he stood up and approached the door. He set his hands on either cheek and kissed her softly as he greeted her, "How's aneurysm day?"

"Clippy," she attempted to joke. "Uneventful… which, when you think about it, is great. How's paperwork day?"

He led her to the couch where she stretched out and slipped a pillow under her head. Walking to his desk, he picked up Ryder's letter and turned back toward her. Replacing the pillow with his lap, he slid under her head and neck and slid off the scrub cap. "Check this out," he encouraged.

As she read the letter, her nonverbal expressions ranged from raised eyebrows to soft laughter to sighs. "He writes just like he speaks," she commented. "I always love that about his notes."

"Do you think he wrote all this on his own?" Owen wondered aloud.

"Julie probably helped. I can't imagine Ry composing words about you meting out consequences and _I wasn't who you've raised me to be._ The main body of the letter sounds like him, though," she ventured. "So now what?"

"I suppose I need to work on forgiving him," Owen stated plainly, without hesitation but also without anticipation. "He really struck me to the core, Mia. It's not just the disrespect… it's the truth he named about how I've been trying to prove myself to Blake and Kayla. Damn kid hit the nail on the head, and I'd never seen it before he pointed it out."

"It's hard to reckon with our demons," she summarized. "… our shortcomings and bad habits." She reached up and rubbed his upper arm.

Leaning down, Owen kissed her repeatedly. As he made moves to lie beside her, she insisted, "Stop… more talk."

"Why?" he grinned playfully.

"Because you have a ton of feelings to sort out," she laughed as she offered a quick peck on the cheek. "So talk to me… let it out. And don't become all growly and gruff."

Laughing incredulously, yet knowing he'd been caught red-handed, Owen confessed, "I felt like falling to the ground when he spewed that venom."

"You need to tell him that," she insisted.

"No," he shook his head. "Absolutely not."

"Why?" she challenged.

"Because I don't think it's good for a kid to see a parent so vulnerable," he argued.

"That's crap, Owen," Amelia scoffed. "You are a teacher and role model by being vulnerable with them."

"I don't want roles to be confused. It's not his job to worry about me," he explained attempting to reason why he could remain behind his emotional curtain.

"But it's ok for him to punch you in the gut verbally? I think not," she pressed. "You need to tell him how it felt so he can learn how his words have impact, not because you're looking for him to care for your wounds."

Twisting his chin to the side, he grinned and offered, "I hate it when you're so intelligent and insightful."

"Two of my best qualities," she boasted with a sly grin.

Owen slid out from under her and proceeded to his desk, sharing, "Maybe it would help to write him back and then set a time to talk." He began to write as she rested on the nearby sofa.

 _Ry,_

 _Your letter was honest and reflective. Without hesitation, I accept your apology._

 _I don't like fighting, but I'm glad to see that you're really thinking about what's happened between us. It's good to hear that you're struggling with the aftermath of your words and coming to see that some of them crossed the line. When you yelled at me, I almost fell to the ground in pain – your words hurt._

 _As much as I hate to admit it, I crossed the line that day, too. You're right – you made an informed choice and deserve more of my faith in your decisions. It's hard to watch you grow up and grow away from needing me. I'm still learning how to loosen my grip and let go._

 _Adopting you, Nolan, and Olivia was one of the most beautiful and meaningful events in my life (and in Mom's life, too). We've shared some challenging times, but I wouldn't trade them. As Mom and I have raised you and your siblings, you've all helped me grow as a person, a husband, and a Dad. I usually don't utter those words and probably need to do so more often._

 _I'm proud to call you my son 99.99% of the time, and I revel in the .01% of the time when I notice that I still may have something to teach you. Let's continue our talk and begin to heal._

 _Dad_

"What do you think?" Owen inquired as Amelia read.

"I think it's heartfelt," she reflected with softened eyes. "Talk about self-reflective and honest… Owen, you need to write more letters."

With a laugh, he winked at his wife and nodded. "Don't get too sappy."

 **Christmas**

By Christmas, Ryder and Owen had spoken twice. Although the need for further healing remained, the silence had at least been broken. After the letters and second conversation, Ryder moved back into the house. The atmosphere in the Lake House had yet to return to normal, but having Ryder home was a relief.

With the busy schedules surrounding Christmas, Ryder and Julie hadn't connected since the 20th. While not completely unusual, five days without contact was a rarity for the friends. Spending time with Amy and constantly texting with her, Ryder hadn't noticed that he and Julie hadn't been in touch. His Christmas present for her sat on his desk, ignored and nearly forgotten.

Other than the move, the holidays arrived and passed predictably. The Grey-Shepherds visited on Christmas morning and the families shared brunch and presents. The frenzy of Christmas filled the house with activity and softened the strained atmosphere that was rooted in Ryder and Owen's differences.

Across the Atlantic, the Tremblay-Hunts celebrated Christmas in Paris as they had planned. Nolan showered Lissa with attention and special experiences as they traveled throughout the City of Love. Making sure he was Molly's primary caretaker, Nolan reveled in the time with his daughter. Meanwhile, Lissa welcomed the chance to simply enjoy Molly without worrying about feeding times, naps, and schedules. Laughter and smiles filled the days and helped the couple reconnect.

On Christmas morning, Nolan let Lissa sleep in. After he prepared a bottle for Molly, he ordered room service and attempted to put Molly's thin hair into a ponytail on the top of her head. When the food arrived, he snuck into the bedroom to deliver the meal. Molly was beginning to repeat words, especially if she received praise, so Nolan taught her to say, _yum._

Nolan set the tray on the dresser and sat down next to his sleeping wife. He whispered to their daughter, "Mama's ni-nite." He reached out and brushed his fingers along Lissa's cheek as he woke her, "Hey, Blondie… it's time for breakfast. Merry Christmas."

Smiling softly, Lissa's eyes opened slowly. Molly celebrated by calling out, "Mama! Mama!"

Lissa's smile widened as she sat up and embraced her baby, "Merry Christmas, Molly Jo. Have you been Daddy's helper today?"

"What did Daddy teach you, Molly? Do you remember?" Nolan inquired, hoping Molly would share her new word with Lissa. Molly smiled but said nothing. Whispering to her, Nolan coached, "Yum. Can you say it?"

"Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum," she babbled with glee.

"Yum, hmm? What's yum?" Lissa prodded. "Breakfast is yum, isn't it?" Lissa put a tiny bite of scrambled eggs on a fork and moved it toward Molly's mouth. "Eggs… yum. Molly try it."

Molly took in a bite and offered a thoughtful expression as she studied the taste and texture of the eggs. Within seconds, she requested, "Mo, Mama… Mo yum." Nolan and Lissa giggled at their captivating daughter and her new discovery.

Nolan motioned to Lissa's plate and nudged, "Your present is underneath the plate, Lissy."

"Nolan…" she admonished gently, "I thought we weren't buying each other presents."

"Open it," he grinned, not worried about their arrangement.

She slid the card out from under the plate and tore the envelope. Inside was an itinerary detailing a flight from London to Seattle for the three of them. They would depart on the 27th. Smiling broadly, Lissa reminded him, "I thought we hadn't decided about the States."

Shrugging, Nolan admitted, "I went ahead and decided for us."

"This only shows the outbound flight," she noted as she glanced up at him through the tops of her eyelids.

"Yeah…" he responded uncomfortably. "I… uh… well, I went ahead with the idea that you'd stay at the Lake House until the babies arrive. We can work out all the details later. It'll be fine."

Lissa was far from shocked by Nolan's solo decision making, yet found herself puzzled by her emotional response. While she was thrilled to be heading to Seattle and was grateful for the surprise, she fought feeling put out by not being included in such a significant decision. Her voice, once again, had not been encouraged or considered. Without a doubt, Nolan's choice was made out of deep love and after careful thought. His intent usually made the unilateral decisions acceptable. This time was more complicated as Lissa processed the situation.

If she stayed in Seattle until the babies were born, she'd be apart from Nolan. He'd miss the last two months of the pregnancy and be too far away for the birth if she experienced early labor. As Molly discovered new words and learned to walk, he would only hear about it after the fact. Lissa wondered if he had considered those angles.

Nolan and Lissa, almost 22;

Molly 9 months (bday mid March);

Baby Tremblay 22 wks (4/5 due date); Molly's sib 25 wks (3/15 due date)

Ryder 18 in January; Julie 18 (Seniors in high school)

Olivia 15 in February (Freshman in high school)

Ria and Anna 10 in January

Lucas 8 ½


	61. Chapter 61 - Where Do We Stand?

**Chapter 61**

 **An Imperfect Life – Where Do We Stand?**

 **December 27**

Before he left for the hospital, Owen woke up Ryder and sat on the corner of his bed. "I'm leaving a list of chores that need to be done before dinnertime. I forgot to write down that your bedroom needs to be spotless by then too."

Ryder yawned and nodded. "Also," Owen continued, "Here's Nolan's flight information. I installed a car seat for the baby in the SUV, so take that. They're going to be exhausted after the long flight – make sure you are on time. Molly might be antsy or crabby after hours and hours stuck in a car seat on the plane. Don't leave your brother in the lurch having to deal with that in the airport."

"Yes, Sir," Ryder agreed as he yawned again.

"I'm glad the last few days have been peaceful between us, Ryder," Owen commented. "I expect it to stay that way, you know."

"I understand," Ryder acknowledged.

Owen stared at his son as he considered his next words, "I hope you do, Son. You know, I've been 17. I know how badly you want to make your own decisions and live your own life."

With a trademark Ryder grin, the son responded, "Almost 18… on the homestretch."

With a slight huff, Owen lectured, "But 18 at this house still means following house rules. Don't forget that." With a grimace, Ryder nodded. Continuing his commentary, Owen leaned his knees on his legs and looked at Ryder. "Here's the deal, Ryder. Plain and simple. Whether you like it or not, what I say goes. In this house, I make the calls. I won't tolerate another outburst like the one awhile back. I don't care if you're 10, 17 or 18, if you're living in this house and dependent upon Mom and me, we expect respect. You're only here for about eight more months. I want that time to be an enjoyable for everyone. Let's not darken it with fighting or arguing."

Without pause, Owen continued, "I expect you to cooperate with Mom and me, and I want you to consider yourself a role model for the other kids. They see you act out." He paused to make sure Ryder was listening, then added, "The rules are fairly simple: you don't come or go without permission, you help out around the house without complaint, all house rules are to be followed, and we return to basics."

"Basics? What's that mean?" Ryder wondered aloud.

"I've been to lax lately. I expect 'yes, sir' and 'no, sir.' You need to keep your attitude in check. Mom and I are going to enforce the no screens during the week rules like we used to – that includes gaming, TV, all that. Cell phones are a privilege, not a right, and you and Livs need to stop shutting yourselves away in your bedrooms."

"Welcome to Pleasantville," Ryder mumbled.

Owen opened his mouth partially then pursed his lips as he twisted his head to the side and back to center, "That's exactly the surly behavior I'm talking about, Ryder Blake."

"I'm sorry, Sir," Ryder resigned.

"So we're clear?" Owen confirmed.

"Crystal, sir," Ryder responded, thinking _Yes, we're clear. You're back to expecting perfect children who do not express their opinions._

With a grin, Owen patted Ryder's lower leg as he stood up and shared, "Good. I'm glad we're on the same page."

Forcing himself out of bed when Owen left for work, Ryder began on his bedroom. He knew that 'spotless' meant he would not get away with throwing everything into the closet and sliding that door closed. Instead, clothes needed to be folded neatly or hung on hangers and the closet floor was expected to be free of clutter. Ryder grumbled to himself as he cleaned, frustrated that he'd lost his temper with Owen and ended up in his current predicament. Having been on Owen's bad side numerous times before, Ryder knew the game. The closer he followed Owen's daily list, the sooner Owen would soften and transform from drill sergeant to Dad.

When he reached his desk and tidied the papers strewn on it, Ryder discovered Julie's wrapped Christmas present. A week prior, when he took Olivia and the Littles to buy presents for Molly, he wandered around the store and discovered an airplane mobile. The planes were silver and caught the light as the mobile spun. The item was the perfect balance of girly and pilot-like. He couldn't wait to see Julie's face when she opened the gift.

"Dammit," Ryder growled when he spotted the box. He immediately picked up his phone and typed out a text, _Found your Christmas present on my messy desk. I'm a schmuck._

After waiting a minute for a response but not receiving one, Ryder made sure the sound was on and continued to clean. Uncharacteristically, Julie responded ten minutes later. Her phone was usually in her hand, so the delay seemed strange.

 _Ha! Yours is under our tree. I didn't lose it but it's been awhile… didn't have a chance to give it to you._

Ryder grinned as he read the message and wondered what she planned to give him. _What's your afternoon like?_ Forgetting he and Amy had a coffee date, Ryder figured that he could complete the list Owen had left and pop over to see Julie before heading to the airport.

 _Out and about right now. Busy until 2 or 3ish,_ she shared.

Wondering what she was doing, Ryder weighed his options. He could be brief and set a time to see her or he could ask what was keeping her occupied until mid-afternoon. Unable to contain his curiosity, he typed, _Busy this early? Who's the lucky guy?_ He ended the text with a winky emoticon.

 _Rick. You don't know him. So 2:30ish?_ She replied.

Convincing himself that she was being sarcastic, Ryder typed a brief, _Yep. 1430,_ and returned to cleaning. He was so focused and determined to finish Owen's list that Ryder found himself ready to leave at 1:15.

 _Running early for the first time in my life. See you in 15,_ he wrote to Julie assuming she wasn't busy.

 _Not home Flyboy. Let's stick with 230,_ she insisted.

As he scratched his head, a text from Amy came through, _Hi, Green Eyes. On your way?_ Amy's question was her gentle way of pointing out that he was late. They'd planned to meet at the Starbucks by her house at 1.

"Crap," Ryder exclaimed to the air. Quickly, he typed out, _Delayed by Daddy-Os list. Leaving here in 5 mins._ _Sorry, Precious._

 _No worries,_ she patiently offered.

Ryder ran down to the SUV and ran time calculations in his head. It was 1:20. The drive to Starbucks would take 10 minutes, he'd have 45 minutes with Amy and leave by 2:15 so he could stop by Julie's and have an hour before needing to leave for the airport. Breathing a sigh of relief, he smiled at his luck.

"Hey," he greeted his girlfriend as he flashed his charming smile and grasped her hand. "I'm so sorry."

"Hi," Amy smiled before sipping her drink. She ran her fingers along the side of his hand, happy he was sitting before her. "I was thinking we could drive to the park and do some hiking this afternoon. How's that sound?"

Frowning a bit too dramatically, Ryder shuffled in his seat and ran his hand through his hair, "I've only got about half an hour. My dad wants me to pick up my brother and his family at the airport. My whole day… _our_ whole day is shot."

"Oh…" she uttered with a forced smirk. "Life happens, I guess. Maybe tonight?"

"Precious, I can't," he shook his head. "Gotta do the whole family thing with the big bro's arrival. I'd rather be with you. Maybe tomorrow night?"

"I have a dance class until 6. I could be ready by 7," she smiled.

Leaning over toward her as he stood up, Ryder kissed her forehead and began to rush off. "Wonderful. Tomorrow at 7 – I'll pick you up." Julie kept hold of his hand and pulled him toward her so she could hug him. She didn't feel brave enough to initiate a kiss, but a hug was no problem. Then, much to her joy, Ryder kissed her as he pulled out of her embrace. He whispered, "Tomorrow." She bit her bottom lip as her eyes smiled. The kiss would keep her in dreamland until she was able to hold his hand the next night.

Rushing to Julie's, Ryder turned on to her street at 2:15. An unfamiliar car was parked in front of Julie's house and Julie appeared to be leaning against it and chatting with some guy. Ryder pulled behind a parked car four houses down and spied. He watched as the two laughed and shook his head in disbelief when Julie tipped her head downward with a coy grin. She smiled softly and gazed at her feet before raising her chin and meeting the guy's eyes. The guy went in for a kiss, but they ended up hugging awkwardly. Julie stepped toward the house as the guy drove away.

 _Who the hell is_ _that_ _?!_ Ryder wondered with protective disgust. _That guy's a creep._ Putting the car in gear, Ryder drove the rest of the way to Julie's and parked possessively in the driveway.

He knocked on the door and tried to open it, but discovered it was locked. After waiting a few seconds, he knocked again and Julie opened the door. "Settle down, Flyboy," she teased as she welcomed him.

"Who was that guy?" Ryder began without hesitation or small talk.

"Rick. He goes to my school. Why?" Julie challenged.

Ryder raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips into a crooked line, "Hmph."

"Come in, come in," she urged, not sure how to handle Ryder's apparent possessiveness. The two sat on the sofa and Ryder held the box he'd unearthed from his desk. Julie caught sight of it and headed toward the Christmas tree to find his gift.

When she returned to the sofa, she handed it to him and explained uncomfortably, "I hope you like it." She'd purchased a paper airplane that could be flown and controlled by an app on Ryder's phone. The paper was actually a thin, durable plastic and the plane had a rechargeable unit on its nose.

"Jules, this is beyond cool," Ryder gushed authentically. "Think about how I can harass my sisters with this! It's fantastic." With a wide smile, Ryder leaned toward her and embraced her in a bear hug as he praised her, "You are the best, Jules. I love it." Sitting up, he grasped her gift and proudly extended his hand.

She gasped with excitement as she pulled the mobile from its box. The tiny 1-2 inch planes shimmered as they spun and caught the sunlight. "I love this!" she giggled. This time, she leaned toward him and offered a hug. "You outdid yourself, RB. This is epic," she celebrated.

"I'm glad you like it," he calmly responded as he watched her play with the mobile. Ryder chuckled as he tapped the planes with his finger and watched them twirl.

With enthusiasm, she requested, "Come with me to hang it up."

"Ummm… you sure your dad won't be home early? I can't imagine if he caught me in your bedroom," Ryder hesitated for good reason.

"Come on, Chicken," she encouraged as she pulled his hand and walked toward her bedroom.

When they entered the room, she surveyed the space and considered her options. Casually, she motioned toward her double bed and invited, "Have a seat."

"I'll… stand…right here… in the doorway," he insisted.

"How about over here?" she inquired as she stood on a chair and held the mobile toward the ceiling. "Or is this better?" she wondered as she leaned over.

Shaking his head, Ryder warned, "You're going to fall."

"Am not," she argued without making eye contact.

Just to be a brat, Ryder walked over and shook the back of the chair while being fully prepared to catch her. Predictably, the chair wiggled and Julie fell into Ryder's ready arms.

"Jerk," she declared as she shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"I just saved you from serious injury and you're calling me names?" Ryder sputtered with fake disbelief.

With a breathy voice, Julie grabbed Ryder's shoulders and teased, "Oh, Romeo, what would I do without your courageous heroism? You faced danger for me. My heart's aflutter."

Ryder set her down with mock disgust, stating, "Geesh, some people… you save their lives and they show no gratitude."

Pushing his shoulder, Julie pointed out, "If you hadn't _caused_ the problem, I might be more thankful."

"See?" he scoffed. "No gratitude. None at all." He grabbed a thumbtack from Julie's desk and inquired, "Where do you want it hung?"

"Keep it in your pants, Hunt," she grumbled playfully as she took the tack from his fingers, climbed back on the chair and secured the mobile by the window.

Fretting unnecessarily, Ryder readied his hands in case Julie stumbled. She shook her head and moved toward the floor, "No need for heroics."

Ryder folded his arms in front of his body and nodded once. With heavy sarcasm, he quipped, "I see that. You're pretty self-sufficient for a girl." Then he ran for the living room, knowing she'd retaliate for the comment.

Grabbing a hand towel from the bathroom next door, Julie chased him down the stairs and cornered him in the Living Room. She snapped the towel on a chair and warned, "Take that back, punk."

"Ha. Never," he laughed from behind the couch.

Snapping the towel again and catching his hip, Julie challenged, "You sure about that?"

"Ow," he whined before continuing, "You're dangerous."

"Just wait…" she cautioned as she approached him and prepared the towel.

Ryder popped over the couch and jumped onto Julie, pinning her to the ground on her belly. He grabbed the towel and threw it across the room before tickling her and sitting on her rear to hold her down. She begged him to stop as she laughed and wiggled.

Shrugging, Ryder harassed, "Why would you want me to stop, Jules? You're laughing. You know you're enjoying this." She continued to beg as he tickled her just enough to be annoying and in control, but not enough to make it unbearable. He cupped his hands around her waist and paused, asking, "Are we all done with the towel, girlie?"

"Yes," she agreed as she caught her breath.

"Promise?" he goaded.

"Yes," she responded.

He leaned down toward her ear and whispered in jest, "Remember you're a girl in a flyboy's world, Chica." He rubbed the tip of his nose along her earlobe and momentarily lost himself. Slipping off her slowly, he kept his face close to hers, lay beside her, and peacefully grinned.

Julie knew his defenses were down. As his eyes softened and met hers, she rolled him onto his back and pinned him. Straddling his torso, she held his wrists to the ground above his head and raised one eyebrow with pride. "Now who's calling the shots, _boy_?" she taunted.

"Very funny," he grinned with condescension. He challenged, "Ok… you've got me right where you want me, now what are you going to do to me?" Although his act was full of bravado, he was highly conscious of where she sat and worried that she might realize how aroused he was.

Considering possible responses, Julie chose to ask, "What do you _want_ me to do?" She'd thought about groaning that he was taking all the fun out of the game with his over-confidence, but putting him on the spot seemed far more fitting.

With a nervous chuckle, Ryder found himself unusually speechless. Julie watched him, loving his uncertainty. She moved his hands to his sides, continuing to clutch them tightly. Unconsciously, she scooted back and discovered Ryder's excitement.

"Oh… geez…" she muttered uncomfortably with shock as she rolled off of him and sat on the floor. "I'm… I'm sorry. Oh… uhhh…"

"Makes you a little anxious, huh?" he prodded with minimal sympathy and a knowing grin. "He won't hurt you. He likes to play."

Still horrified and embarrassed, she buried her hands in her face and mumbled from behind them, "Ryder, don't make fun of me."

He sat up and leaned his back against the sofa. With his foot, he gently bumped her hip and offered, "I'm the one who should be embarrassed, Jules."

Saved by the cell tone, Ryder reached into his back pocket and noticed the time. "Oh f $k! Bad timing, Jules… I gotta hustle to the airport to get Nolan. Crap… I'm gonna be late."

He stood up and extended his hand to help her stand. She grasped it and hugged him like they were siblings, "Thanks again for the present. I love it."

"I love you, too," he unleashed sincerely but unintentionally. Shaking his head, he corrected, "I mean… umm… I love my present too. Great to see you. Sorry I have to run." He offered a quick hug and scooted out the door, leaving Julie to wonder what had transpired between them.

In the SUV, Ryder glanced at his watch impatiently. He was stuck in traffic, but knew Owen wouldn't consider that an excuse. In his head, he could hear his father advise, _Then you should have left earlier. Being on time is important, Ryder._

Trying to keep his mind off Julie, he changed the radio station and tried to find something distracting. When he landed on a love song station, a text came through from Amy. No longer tuning in music, he picked up the phone and read, _Wish we'd had more time together today. Miss you._ Amy's text was a rampant emoticon fest. He chuckled at the sight and Facetimed her.

Balancing the phone in the cup holder as traffic inched along, he greeted her gently, "Hey, Precious. I miss you too."

With a wide smile and wrinkles on the sides of her eyes, Amy beamed. "Whatcha doing?"

"Stuck in traffic. I have no idea how to let my brother know I'm running late, but I'm not about to call my dad," he chuckled. "At least it isn't snowing."

Giggling, Amy dreamily gazed at Ryder. Her puppy love infatuation with him was endearing. Ryder – especially when he ached for sexual release that had been absent lately - sometimes caught himself wondering why he didn't pursue Amy sexually. He'd never dated someone for so long and not rounded second base. Since their relationship was different, he figured they must be the real deal. Finding her to be enjoyable and adorable, Ryder went along with the relationship without much clarity about it. He followed her lead and let the relationship unfold casually.

His primary concern wasn't whether or not he'd round the bases. Instead, he knew that the longer they were together, the more likely she'd ask to meet his family. That was a step he was certain he didn't want to experience. Bringing girls home only led to commitment questions from the girls and taunting from the family. He hoped to spare himself that embarrassment for as long as possible.

"Where are you now?" she inquired, trying to keep the conversation afloat.

"Almost at 518. I'm close," he grinned as he flashed his eyes toward the phone. "What are you up to?"

"I'm bored. Just sitting around," she sighed.

"No plans the rest of the day?" he questioned.

"Nah… tomorrow's packed, but today is boring. I should've invited myself to go to the airport with you," she suggested.

"Yeah," he responded with a fake chuckle, glad he wasn't bringing a girlfriend to meet Lissa. Lissa would have a field day grilling poor Amy and telling her stories about Ryder's younger days. "Well, you'd have to brace yourself for my sister-in-law. Listen, Precious, I'm here. I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Can't wait," she flirted as she blew a kiss. "Have fun with your brother." Ryder raised his eyebrows and nodded upward before ending the call.

Inside the airport, Lissa sat and watched for Ryder to drive up. Nolan paced with Molly, who was tired but did not want to be held. With each step, his frustration with Ryder increased.

"I think I see him," Lissa celebrated. She stepped outside into the crisp December air and caught his attention. Then she threw her hands over her mouth and stomped her feet with joy. Her baby bump bounced as she celebrated. Holding up one finger, she disappeared back inside and exited with Molly in her arms just as he stopped the car.

"Hey, Larissa!" he called as he approached as bear hugged his sister-in-law.

Molly screamed as he did so, causing Lissa to explain, "She's weird about strangers lately. Sorry." Turning to her daughter, Lissa shared, "Molly, this is Uncle Ryder. Let's go get in the warm car and buckle up. Daddy and Uncle Ryder are going to load our bags."

Nolan grinned and offered his 'pat-on-the-back' hug that was his standard. "Check you out, ladies' man, I think you're taller. Looking good."

"You put on a little weight in England, huh?" Ryder teased.

With sadness, Nolan took the comment to heart and patted his belly. "I didn't think so… maybe."

"I was pushing your buttons, idiot," Ryder scoffed. "I still know where they are."

"Right," Nolan chuckled hesitantly. "Here… take these two bags to Liss. We can put the rest in the back."

"I can take more. Throw the straps of those two on my shoulders," Ryder insisted. "And put the car seat handle in my hand."

With a shrug, Nolan accommodated Ryder's request. The last bags included two wheeled suitcases with smaller bags attached to them. Nolan dragged those outside and approached the back of the car. Steps ahead of him, Ryder opened the back hatch and discovered how loud his niece could scream.

Without looking at who was there, Lissa called out with exasperation, "Nolan, she won't go in the car seat."

"Just a minute, Shorty. Let me load these up," he calmly reassured her.

"Man, how can you stay so steady with that horror-film worthy screeching?" Ryder asked, impressed with Nolan's calm nature.

"It's what she does," Nolan shrugged. "Doesn't happen very often." He walked to the side door and opened it. With lowered brows and the snapping of his finger, Nolan warned his daughter, "Enough. Now sit."

"No!" she screamed in response as she stiffened her body. "No mo. No mo."

"Molly Jolissa, listen to Daddy. Sit. Down," Nolan continued in his firm Daddy voice.

"Mama," Molly manipulated, suddenly Lissa's best buddy. She reached out with a whimper.

"You need to listen to Daddy, Molly. You sit down and Mama will sit next to you," Lissa bargained.

Nolan reached over to nudge Molly into the seat so he could buckle her. She put her hand on his hand and attempted to push it away. When Nolan threw out a firm, "Molly," she growled at him like a wild animal but allowed him to buckle her in. Looking at Lissa, Nolan confirmed, "You good?" Lissa nodded and smiled softly as she mouthed _thank you._

Stepping to the front door and climbing in, Nolan discovered his brother resting his head on the steering wheel and holding back hysterical laughter. Shooting Ryder a look of disgust only lowered Ryder's reserves. Bursting out, Ryder could barely speak as he made fun of his brother being Mr. Mean Dad. He ended with, "Dude, she's like two feet tall and she's totally the one in control. Besides that, she _growls._ I'm beginning to think this kid is fabulous."

"Drive, Ryder," Nolan smirked as he shook his head.

The entire way home, Ryder chuckled. Then he'd recount aloud but to himself why he was laughing. Molly, followed by Lissa, fell asleep within the first two minutes in the car. Nolan rubbed his temples and the bridge of his nose, exhausted from the trans-Atlantic flight.

As they drove through the gate and approached the house, Ryder explained that their youngest siblings were at Derek and Meredith's, Olivia was at dance, and the parents were at the hospital. "It's just us until 6:30. Mom's picking up Olivia and the Littles. Dad's picking up pizza. The guest room is all set up for you guys – Mom insisted on buying a crib and a bunch of baby crap."

Nolan smiled and requested, "If you wouldn't mind, can you stay in the garage with Molly while I take Liss upstairs? I don't want to wake them."

"You two are still so sugary-sweet," Ryder mused.

"Or you could carry Molly, I guess," Nolan considered.

"She'll flippin' scream at me with that death-pitch if she wakes up," Ryder scoffed.

Nolan shook his head, unbuckled Molly, and handed the sleeping baby to his brother. He whispered, "She's out. Now get over yourself."

Awkwardly, Ryder grasped the baby and attempted to figure out if he should cradle her or hold her upright. Seeing the process, Nolan reached over and silently rearranged the two so that Molly's head rested on Ryder's shoulder. Her tiny arms flopped down by her sides as Ryder threw a forearm under her rear and placed a hand on her back. He was thankful nobody was around to capture the moment in a picture.

Then Nolan unbuckled Lissa's seatbelt and whispered gently to her as he scooped her out of the car. He carried her petite body with ease and made his way up the steps. Ryder stood in the doorway as Nolan set Lissa on the bed, attentively removed her shoes, and covered her in a blanket. After Lissa was settled, Nolan picked Molly up out of Ryder's arms and set her in the crib.

He whispered to his younger brother, "Do you see a paci in that blue bag? It should be in the inside pocket."

Sure enough, as one would expect of a diaper bag for one of Nolan's children, the paci was in its place. As Ryder grabbed it, Nolan requested, "Oh, and grab Nam."

"What or who the hell is Nam?" Ryder scoffed.

"The pink blanky, you idiot. Grab it," Nolan grumbled as he gave Molly her paci. He continued, "It's great to see you, Ry, but I'm going to crash too. We've been up for way too long."

"Sure," Ryder grinned. He closed the door behind him and proceeded to the SUV. He brought up all the bags and left them outside the guest room door.

Nolan and Lissa, almost 22;

Molly 9 ½ months (bday 3/15);

Baby Tremblay 26 wks (4/5 due date); Molly's sib 29 wks (3/15 due date)

Ryder 18 in January; Julie 18 (Seniors in high school)

Olivia 15 in February (Freshman in high school)

Ria and Anna 10 in January

Lucas 8 ½


	62. Chapter 62 - Giggles and Gratitude

**Chapter 62**

 **An Imperfect Life – Giggles and Gratitude**

 **December 28**

"Seriously," Amelia insisted at dinner. "Go! How often do you two have time alone? I'm off tomorrow and Owen's off on the 30th. Molly will be sufficiently spoiled."

"I don't know, Mom," Nolan grimaced. "She's pretty clingy right now."

Lissa nodded, "Amma, your offer is so sweet, but she's so quick. I can barely keep up with her crawling and curiosity. With all the stairs around here…" Molly fumbled with Cheerios, about two-thirds of them making it into her mouth. She watched the conversation, moving her concentration toward whomever was speaking.

"You guys," Owen laughed as he interrupted. He motioned around the table and proposed, "We have a pretty solid track record for raising kids. She'll be fine." He admired his granddaughter and clicked his tongue. As he made funny faces, Molly responded with giggles. She placed her hands clumsily over her eyes and began a round of Peek-a-boo. Owen joined in the game, and the twins snickered as they watched their daddy act so silly.

"We'll help, Nolan," Victoria promised, eager to play with the baby.

"I'll sing to her," Lucas assured them.

"Dude, our job is to comfort her, not scare her," Ryder huffed as Olivia laughed.

Owen cleared his throat and instructed, "Dishes, dear teenagers."

Sighing, Olivia stood and began clearing dishes. Ryder, displaying a disgruntled expression, headed to the kitchen and started the water.

"Molly would love to have you sing to her, Lucas," Amelia reassured her youngest. She stood, proceeded to the kitchen sink, and wet a washcloth.

When she brought it back to clean Molly's face, Molly shook her head and attempted to avoid the practiced Mama with years of experience. "Good luck, Molly Jo," Nolan chuckled. "Gama has the moves to clean messy faces." Blowing strawberries, Molly made her dislike known. Once Amelia was finished, Molly forgot about her frustration and held her arms up toward Amelia. Her brown eyes pleaded with her Gama as she clenched and unclenched her hands.

Popping up next to his wife, Owen assisted with the highchair tray. He wrapped his arm around Amelia's shoulders as she embraced Molly and began to charm her. In baby talk, Amelia questioned, "You want to stay with Gama and Papa, Molly Jo? Papa's pretty silly. He'll play with you and make funny faces. Yes, he will. And Gama will spoil you with kisses and snuggles."

Molly leaned toward Amelia's face and offered her slobbery baby kisses. When Owen peeked around Amelia's shoulders, she grabbed his nose and began chewing on his hand. Chuckling, Owen celebrated Molly's brilliance, "Look at her, Mia. Look what she's doing."

"You're so adorable, little girl," Amelia spewed as she grasped Molly's hand. "Just amazing. Yes, you are. You're amazing."

Slapping his forehead, Lucas rolled his eyes and exclaimed, "Oh my goodness! She's just being a baby you guys." Everyone but Ryder laughed; he rolled his eyes and shook his head in response to his parents' behavior.

Feeling sympathetic toward her 17-year-old brother-in-law, Lissa headed to the kitchen. She nudged Ryder aside and mumbled, "I'll finish the dishes, Ry. Go hang out with Nole. He misses you."

"But you don't?" Ryder teased.

"Oh, I do. I do," Lissa giggled. "Now get outta the kitchen."

Olivia smiled, happy to be with Lissa. "I really miss you."

"I miss you too, Livs. It'll be fun to be here for a while," Lissa affirmed.

"When do you guys return to England?" Olivia wondered aloud.

"Nolan leaves on the 9th. I'm staying here until the babies are born. Didn't anyone tell you?" Lissa shared with surprise.

"Nope," Livie sighed. "I'm always the last to know the news around here." She paused and then added, "I'm glad you'll be around." Lissa grinned gently in response, then Olivia asked a tentative question, "The baby… does it kick yet? Can you feel it?"

Turning from the sink, Lissa leaned against the counter and disclosed, "She's kicking like crazy right now. Come over." Lissa grasped Livie's hand and set it on the baby bump. The baby cooperated and kicked repeatedly. Lissa explained, "I think food re-energizes her. She's always rolling around after I eat."

With wonder and giggles, Olivia kept her hand on the baby bump. "That's so incredible." She leaned down and spoke to the baby, "Hi baby. It's Auntie Livs. I can't wait to hold you." The baby responded with a flutter, causing all involved to chuckle.

"Ree, Anna, get over here," Olivia instructed. "Is it okay? Can they feel too?"

"Sure," Lissa readily agreed. She placed the girls' hands where the baby was kicking and soon a swarm of aunties were cooing and celebrating each movement. Owen wandered in and joined the party after asking Lissa if she minded his hand. She agreed and found herself covered in hands of anticipation and love.

"I'm so happy about this baby," Owen shared with softened eyes as he caught Lissa's gaze.

Becoming teary, she stated, "We made it to 80-90% viability."

With a reassuring tilt of the head, Owen patted her shoulder and whispered, "I know… I know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

The next day, as Amelia shooed Nolan and Lissa out the door, she encouraged Molly to wave bye-bye. Trying to learn her new skill, Molly waved at herself. As the Dodge pulled out of the driveway and both parents waved energetically, Molly waved backwards and babbled.

"See, when you're staying with Gama, you don't need to cry," Amelia laughed as she brushed Molly's hair behind her ear and kissed her little head. "Now what, Miss Molly?" Molly leaned over and kissed her Gama.

"What's up?" Ryder inquired, walking by barefoot with bedhead and his boxers on. After a night where every square inch of his bed was covered by dog or boy, he was bringing the dogs outside.

"Nolan and Lissa left for their time alone and we're trying to determine what we're doing next," Amelia smiled.

"You look cute with her in your arms, Mom," Ryder chuckled.

"And you look underdressed for this morning's temps," she pointed out.

"I'm fine," he shrugged. "I'm tough."

"Ahh… I see," she mused. As they made their way back inside, she questioned, "What's your plan for the day?"

"I dunno. Amy's busy with some dance thing and Julie… she's being Julie," Ryder huffed.

"Amy?" Amelia inquired.

"Girl I've been seeing. Nothing serious," Ryder dismissed.

"Explain something to me: Julie's being Julie? Need me to straighten her out?" Amelia jested.

"She's… she's seeing this jerk… spends all her time with him being googly eyed," Ryder grumbled.

"Julie has a boyfriend?! Aawwwww," Amelia exclaimed.

"Whatever," he attempted to act as if he didn't care whatsoever.

Amelia lowered her chin and grinned, "Are they serious?"

"He's a loser. She'd be stupid to fall in love with him," Ryder snarled.

With a knowing grin, Amelia said nothing and turned her attention to Molly. "Want to help me give Molly a bath?"

"Umm… let's see…" he popped off. "Pull my teeth out one by one, pluck every hair off my arms with tweezers, or give a baby a bath… tough choices."

Amelia popped Ryder on the back of the head playfully, "You're unreal."

"One of a kind, Mama Bear. One of a kind," he joked.

"Go throw some clothes on Mr. One of a Kind," Amelia laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Naked and wrapped around Lissa from behind, Nolan joined her in watching the waves break on the sand. Safe and cozy inside their hotel room, the couple gently caressed one another after making love. A fire crackled in the nearby fireplace and its warm air filled the room. Nolan's hand made its way to the baby bump where he felt a kick.

"Hey there, Little Girl," he chuckled. "She's been busy lately."

"I think she knows she's about to run out of room," Lissa commented. "I can't wait for our appointment on Wednesday afternoon. I wonder how much she's grown."

"Is she going to be tall like her daddy or petite like Mama?" Nolan mused dreamily.

Lissa laughed softly, "As the one giving birth, I'm cheering for petite."

"I want to make sure you have enough space and help," Nolan summarized, sharing thoughts that he'd been considering for some time. "I have some ideas about how we can make that happen."

"It'll all work out," Lissa responded dreamily. She didn't seem worried or preoccupied at all about the topics.

Grinning, Nolan kissed his wife's cheek and rubbed his stubbly cheek against hers. "What will we name her?"

"I have a list in my purse," Lissa mentioned.

"You wore me out a few minutes ago – I'm not strong enough to pick up that weight," he joked.

"How about Elizabeth?" she suggested.

Nodding, Nolan agreed, "I like it. What about our other baby?"

"Emily? Or maybe Hannah or Caroline?" Lissa attempted.

"Maybe," Nolan moved his pursed lips around his face as he considered the options. "Emmy and Lizie?"

With a giggle, Lissa inquired, "Do all our girls' names need to end with a long e sound?"

Tightening his grip around Lissa, Nolan tickled her sides and confirmed, "Yes, Lissy. Yes, they do."

Within moments, they were lying down on the bed making love once again. Once the young couple had been virtually forced out of the house, they realized how much they appreciated the time together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"I'm relieved you'll be at the ultrasound on Wednesday," Lissa mused.

"Me, too. I wouldn't miss it for the world. You know you'll have to record the ones you have while I'm in England, right?" he encouraged.

"I can be convinced to make that happen," she teased gently.

"Are you going to have someone go with you? To the other appointments?" he nudged, hoping her answer was affirmative. Lissa found his question silly. Even when he would be thousands of miles away, Nolan wanted to plan all the details.

Running her fingers through his hair, she admitted, "I haven't really thought about it. Maybe." With a laugh, she added playfully, "Molly. I'll take Molly."

"Yeah, that'll work," he huffed. "She could chew on random medical equipment and cords while you're lying on the table."

"I'm sure the drawers will keep her busy," Lissa taunted. "Maybe a little poison… some bandaids to use as stickers… the chance of slamming her fingers… she'll be the star of the show."

"Are you making fun of me?" Nolan scoffed.

"Absolutely," Lissa chortled. "You're being ridiculous, Nolan." His need to control – or manage, as he preferred to call it – was endearing to Lissa. She knew his intent was pure and full of love, but she also recognized that he sometimes fretted too much.

Exhaling loudly, Nolan turned on his side and faced the sunset. Lissa frowned slightly and lowered her shoulders with disappointment. She'd been joking, but Nolan had been serious. Now he was pouting, although he'd never admit that.

Lissa slid so she was spooning her husband and rearranged the pillows under her head. As she stroked his arm, she assured him, "Nolan…seriously… Everything is going to work out. I promise… we'll be fine while you're away."

"That's what makes me uneasy…" he sighed distantly. "I kind of hate knowing you don't need me around."

"Trems…" Lissa sympathized. "Molly and the babies need you. _I_ need you. We all need you. And not only that, we _want_ to need you. We want you to be our Daddy and husband. The next two months are going to be miserable in many ways, but I refuse to wilt, Trems. I refuse to fall into a helpless heap of pathetic neediness. I'm determined to make it work. I'll do my best to muddle through without you holding my hand and guiding me through it all, and I'll do it because I love you. I love you enough to support your educational goals and honors, and I trust you enough to know you'll be back."

Rolling onto his back, Nolan blinked slowly and ran a finger along Lissa's jaw line and chin. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Yes. Many times," she flirted. "But I could listen to you all day long."

Nolan and Lissa, 22;

Molly 9 ½ months (bday 3/15);

Baby Tremblay 26 wks (4/5 due date); Molly's sib 29 wks (3/15 due date)

Ryder 18 in January; Julie 18 (Seniors in high school)

Olivia 15 in February (Freshman in high school)

Ria and Anna 10 in January

Lucas 8 ½


	63. Chapter 63 - Surprising Appearances

**Chapter 63**

 **An Imperfect Life – Surprising Appearances**

 **December 28**

"Ryder?" Amelia called out from her bedroom.

He was in his bedroom when she hollered. Jumping up from his bed, he went to the door and yelled back, "Yeah?"

"Any chance you could pick Ria up for me? She's at a friend's and I need to consult with one of the residents?" she begged.

"I guess," he agreed reluctantly. Although he had nothing to do, picking up his little sister was not an entertaining prospect. He walked into Amelia's room, and she handed him a paper with the address of Ria's playdate. As she asked questions and provided medical insights, she mouthed _thank you_ to him. The note also included the sentence, _Please come right home. Dinner on time tonight. Warning: Livie's having a friend stay the night. Dad's picking them up now._

Ryder rolled his eyes when he read the note and whispered to his mom, "Good thing I love you, Mama." She threw a pillow at him when he turned toward the door and smiled when he stopped to look back at her.

As he drove the short distance to Ria's friend's home, Ryder wondered what Julie might be doing. He hoped she wasn't with what's-his-name, the awkward kisser. The guy made his skin crawl. Why couldn't Julie see what a creep the guy was? He debated sending her a text, but decided to wait until after dinner.

When he pulled up to the house, Ria came bounding out with a spring in her step. She was smiling as she approached the SUV and climbed into the back seat.

"Hey! I thought Mom was picking me up," Victoria wondered aloud as she buckled.

"The hospital called, so you're stuck with me. Your best, most amazing, wonderful, incredible, favorite brother."

"Ryder, I love you, but…" she began with a giggle.

"But I'm not incredible? Only wonderful and your favorite?" he teased.

"Yeah, right," she scoffed with a grin.

"I'll have to work on that," he winked as he peeked at her using the rear view mirror.

Victoria being Victoria, she swung her legs lightly and gazed happily out the window as Ryder drove. Ryder admired his little sister. She was nearly always content and in a pleasant mood. Her ability to be flexible, relaxed, and kind amazed him. If he didn't know her as well as he did, he'd wonder if her demeanor was all an act. Surely, nobody could be so upbeat, sweet, and loveable. Yet, he knew his little sister well. For every edge, mood and gripe that Anna had, Ria displayed the other end of the pendulum.

"Do you and Anna ever do the twin thing?" he inquired.

"What twin thing?" Ria responded with a puzzled expression.

"People say that twins sometimes have a special connection. Do you guys know what the other one is thinking or feeling? Or if you're apart, do you sense what's going on for Anna?" he clarified.

"I'm not a mind reader, Ryder," Victoria responded flatly.

"Just wondering," Ryder concluded, not convinced Victoria understood the twin connections he was attempting to describe.

After a few minutes of silence, Victoria stopped watching the scenery outside and stared at Ryder thoughtfully. "I guess maybe Anna and I can tell stuff about each other sometimes." With a _hmph_ , Ryder remained quiet, hoping Ria would elaborate.

"I mean… when she's really mad, I usually understand why she's mad. Sometimes, we just look at each other and can guess what the other one is thinking or feeling." With a disappointed sigh, Ria continued, "Anna gets crabby with me when I'm happy. I guess she wishes she was happy, too. She doesn't like it when people pay attention to my leg, either."

"I remember when you and Anna were babies. You would babble like Molly and focus on each other. You really seemed to understand what the other was saying, like you were having a conversation," Ryder recalled.

"Like our own secret language?!" Ria wondered with curiosity.

"Yeah. Too bad you still don't have that. Wouldn't it be cool to have your own twin language that only the two of you knew?" Ryder supposed.

Ria's eyes grew wide as her imagination began to soar. "That would be amazing," she mused.

Considering Ria's enthusiasm and words, Ryder pondered his siblings' styles and moods. Ria was certainly a peace maker and a caring presence when disagreements arose. Anna, on the other hand, had strong preferences and opinions. The twins were very different from one another, yet did seem to share some sort of psychic connection.

As Ryder pulled into the garage, Ria smiled and commented, "I'm glad you picked me up. I like talking to you." She hopped out of the car and waited at the driver's door.

Ryder paused as he stepped out of the SUV, wondering what Ria was doing. When his feet hit the ground, he found himself embraced by his sister. He picked her up and hugged her tightly. "You're a pretty cool kid, Victoria."

"Thanks," she grinned before she skipped into the house with her problematic leg moving differently than the other.

Before heading to the table, where everyone was already gathered, Ryder braced himself for the extra-giggling that was sure to be present at the table that night. Olivia's friends were often giggly and predictably annoying. As he approached the table, Ryder made eye contact with Amy… _his_ Amy… otherwise known as _his_ girlfriend… and now known as Olivia's friend.

Amy appeared to be as surprised as Ryder and the two blinked and stared at one another. Shaking his head subtly and hoping Amy understood his code, Ryder strode to his seat and began to dish up.

"How was dance today?" Owen inquired.

Olivia flung her arms around as she explained the different moves and styles of the day. Amy added with enthusiasm, "It was fun – at the end, we played a dance moves version of Simon Says." Ryder focused on eating and was eager to leave the table as soon as possible. Hanging out on the computer in his room would be more entertaining than dance reports.

"I liked that," Anna piped up. "That was fun."

"Except I kept losing," Olivia groaned.

"You did!" Amy sympathized. "I felt bad for you, Livie." Sensing that "Olivia's friend" kept looking at him, Ryder peeked out of the corner of his eye and grinned at her. To his shock, Amy returned his expression. She briefly bore her eyes into his, as if to communicate that she wasn't sure what to do or say. He nodded and went back to eating as he hoped nobody figured out that he and Amy were dating. _Figures,_ he thought, _there are probably 200 dance studios in Seattle and Amy has to be part of the same one as my sisters. Ugh._

"Do you and Olivia go to the same school, Amy?" Owen asked, hoping to get to know Olivia's friend better.

"No, I attend St. Frances," she grinned uncomfortably.

"Really? Ryder, Ria and Lucas go to St. Frances too!" Amelia pointed out with celebratory glee. She waved her hand around at her kids and wondered aloud, "Have any of you met before tonight?"

"Well, the elementary area is fairly separated from the high school," Amy pointed out.

Before Amy foiled his plan to remain mute on their relationship, Ryder added quickly, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've seen you in the hallway. We'll have to keep an eye out for one another now."

"Sounds like a plan," Amy smiled, catching Ryder's lead. She wasn't sure why Ryder was acting strange, but she clearly understood that he didn't want to mention that she was dating him. She wondered silently, _Is he embarrassed to be dating a sophomore? Or to be dating me? He's always so thoughtful and such a gentleman – why is he doing this?_

"Do you girls have any plans for the night?" Amelia asked cheerfully.

"We were hoping to watch some movies in the TV room," Olivia shared. "Maybe have some popcorn. Hang out. Talk. That kind of stuff."

"Sounds fun," Amelia affirmed. "What about everyone else – who has plans tonight?" Amelia inquired.

"Can I watch movies with Olivia?" Lucas begged.

"Maybe you and I can find something else to do, buddy," Owen offered as he smirked at the teen girls and silently reassured them that he'd keep the pesky little brother at bay.

"Like go get ice cream?" Lucas suggested, sensing an opening.

"Umm… maybe," Owen nodded slowly.

"What movies are you watching?" Anna questioned.

"We're not sure yet," Olivia responded, trying to think of a movie that Anna and Ria wouldn't want to watch.

Ria entered the conversation and shared, "Can I play with Molly after dinner?"

"Sure," Amelia readily agreed. "I'll join you."

"When will she be old enough to wrestle?" Lucas sighed with impatience.

Owen chuckled and attempted to loop Ryder into the conversation, "What do you think, Ry?"

"Hard to say, Dad," Ryder answered without much enthusiasm. "The Littles were pretty feisty by about 2 years old. Molly's not even one yet, Luke."

The conversation continued on, stumbling and stuttering throughout dinner. Ryder avoided interacting and quickly offered to help clear the table and do dishes. As everyone scattered from the table, Amelia stayed behind and helped Ryder.

"What's up with you tonight?" she questioned gently.

"Nothing. Just low key," he replied, knowing that if he said 'bored,' he'd be given all sorts of chores to complete. Bored wasn't a word that was encouraged at the Lake House.

"Amy's cute," Amelia opined. "Did you know she attends St. Frances?"

"She looked familiar," Ryder offered with nonchalance.

"She's not _the_ Amy, is she?" Amelia prodded.

Ryder stopped what he was doing and looked at his mom, "Why would you say that?"

With a casual shrug, Amelia disclosed, "Just a hunch. You seemed a little awkward tonight and she kept looking at you during dinner."

"Mom… c'mon, it's tough to avoid looking at this," Ryder jested as he puffed out his chest and pointed to himself. When Amelia threw a dish towel at him in response, Ryder commented, "Geesh… you're in a throwing mood today, aren't you?"

Playfully, she threw another dishtowel at him. It happened to be damp and landed on his face. He lowered his chin toward his chest and shot his mother a warning stare. She slowly moved further away from him until she was across the kitchen island from him.

Ryder faked moving to his left, then ran to his right in an attempt to catch his mother. She bounced around and moved a barstool into his path to slow him down. The two would pause and pretend to be heading one direction or another as they sized up the other's strategy. Normally, Owen would have immediately called halt to inside chasing and running; with Amelia participating, he pretended not to notice.

Lucas, determined to rough house, was climbing on Owen and attempting to force him onto the ground. Ria, Anna, and Molly were nearby. As the wrestling amplified, Ria occasionally warned Owen to be mindful of Molly's presence. Her protective nature was endearing as she tended to her tiny niece who watched Owen and Lucas with deep curiosity.

Amelia made a break from the kitchen island and headed toward Owen, clinging to his shoulders from behind when she reached him. "Protect me!" she squawked as Ryder neared.

"From him?" Owen teased as he exhaled through his loosely joined lips.

Ryder attempted to step toward his mother, who shrieked at the playful threat. Molly, not understanding the game, screamed and began to cry. She glared at Ryder and yelled, "No!"

"Oh…Mols, I'm sorry," Ryder offered as he fell to the floor and tried to approach her. She backed up using a backward crawl, still crying.

Amelia hurried over to Molly and wrapped her in her arms, "It's ok, Molly. Uncle Ryder's playing. It's ok."

"Great, now my niece is terrified of me," Ryder huffed as he flopped onto his back. Lucas caught sight of his brother's vulnerability and plopped onto Ryder's stomach. After a shocked inhale, Ryder began wrestling with his brother, throwing him around and pretending to threaten him.

As Olivia and Amy emerged from the TV room, Olivia was horrified and embarrassed to see her entire family wrestling around on the floor. "I'm so sorry, Amy… they can be sooooo ridiculous."

Amy grinned and giggled, responding loudly enough for only Olivia to hear, "It's cute, Livs. Especially your older brother. He's adorable."

"Gross, Amy. So gross. He thinks he is so fantastic," Olivia commentated quietly as she continued into the kitchen. Ryder glanced up at Amy, smiled, and winked before being tackled by a twin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

After the wrestling fest earlier, he indulged Amelia by playing board games with the rest of the family. Once bath time arrived, his parents gave him the choice between helping with baths or feeding Molly a bottle. To Ryder, the options sounded like _Would you like to supervise bathtime with all its messy, whiny, watery suffering or would you rather stink like baby barf and attempt to figure out how to hold her?_

Assuming one baby would be far easier than three Littles, he was reminded how to prepare a bottle of formula. Years ago, when Lucas and the Twins were babies, Ryder relished the opportunity to help feed and tend his younger siblings. At nearly 18, he was no longer eager to please his parents nor fuss with humans incapable of conversation. Even so, Amelia helped him settle on the couch and then ran upstairs to help Owen.

"You like that smelly crap, huh, Molly?" Ryder questioned in a casual, everyday voice.

A smile peeked out from under the bottle as Molly's round brown eyes intently studied her uncle.

"If I had to drink this stuff, I'd gag," he shared. "But you don't know what you're missing yet, so you settle for this. Poor kid. Life gets better than this, Molly. Don't worry. Uncle Ryder will take you on adventures. With me, you'll learn things that your dad would never dream of teaching you. I've got your back, kid… at least once you're past the diaper stage."

Gulping down her bottle and staring at Ryder, Molly appeared to be listening intently. As her tummy filled, her eyelids became heavy and began to flutter. As soon as she'd close her eyes completely, she'd rally and open them wide. She popped the bottle out of her mouth and babbled to Ryder as if she'd been waiting to respond to his words.

Although her attempt at connection was cute, Ryder wanted her to finish the bottle. He tried to entice her, but Molly waved it away.

"C'mon, Molly, help a guy out," Ryder encouraged as he attempted again.

"Nam," she requested as she turned from the bottle. She snuggled her face into Ryder's chest and repeated "Nam."

Ryder shrugged, "I dunno where it is, Molly. But your bottle really loves you. Don't make it sad by ignoring it." Again, Molly pushed the bottle away. Her face started to contort as her eyebrows lowered and her lips straightened into a line.

"No… please don't cry," Ryder pleaded. He decided they'd go on a treasure hunt to find Nam. Standing up, he promised, "We'll find Nam." Then he made a silly face as they climbed the stairs. She laughed in response, which caused him to remark in baby talk, "You're a faker – how'd you go from miserable, pre-meltdown to giggles? What a trip. Babies are weird creatures."

Later that night, after the Littles and Molly were in bed and the dogs were asleep in Ryder's room, Ryder wandered downstairs for some water. Forgetting Amy was over, he sported only his boxer shorts.

As he reached for a glass, Amy made her way into the kitchen. She and Livs had been taking turns restocking their soda and popcorn supplies. Whispering, Amy was relieved to have an opportunity to speak with Ryder alone. "Hey… what's up with the pretending we don't know each other?"

Amy's eyes remained fixated on Ryder's muscular body as she awaited and then listened to his answer. "I don't bring girls home. I'd have to deal with too many questions from the family if I did."

"I thought maybe you were embarrassed by me or something," she confessed.

With a grimace and shake of the head, Ryder responded by dragging out her name, "Amy… c'mon. If any guy is ever embarrassed being with you, you're with a jerk. How could anyone feel that way?"

"I dunno," she mumbled with slight embarrassment.

With a slight chuckle, Ryder reached over and massaged Amy's shoulders. He leaned in and they shared a brief kiss. With a soft voice, he encouraged, "Go back to your girl movies and popcorn. We'll catch up day after tomorrow."

Relieved, Amy nearly bounced back to the TV room. Not only was Ryder not embarrassed by her, she'd also gotten quite the view of his clothes-less body. Her heart beat dreamily as she savored the conversation they'd just shared.


	64. Chapter 64 - Slip Ups

**Chapter 64**

 **An Imperfect Life – Slip Ups**

 **January 12**

"I can't believe Nolan's leaving tomorrow. It seems like they just arrived," Owen commented as he and Amelia dressed for work. He tied his tie then slipped his belt around his slacks. Amelia stood at the bathroom sink, her mouth half-open, as she applied mascara.

After finishing her right eye, Amelia turned to Owen and sighed, "I hear you. There's never enough time to reconnect. I'm going to miss watching him be a Daddy."

With half a chuckle, Owen confessed, "I've been dreading not having him around to soften Ryder. Losing my running partner is disappointing, too. But you're right, his dad skills are amazing. I'm so proud of him."

Returning to her left eye, Amelia stared at her lashes as she mused, "How do you suppose he and Lissa are doing? There's never a hint of animosity or tension, but I can't imagine they're thriving in the midst of his schooling and the babies. She doesn't have much help or companionship in England."

"Maybe that's why it's better that she's staying here," Owen shrugged, not fully comprehending the complexity of Amelia's concerns. Kissing Amelia's cheek, he whispered, "I'll see you downstairs."

A soft knock at the bedroom door sounded just as Amelia slipped on a dress. "Come in," she responded, guessing it was Nolan or Lissa. The other kids would have just barged in.

Seeing Amelia clumsily stretch her arms around her body, Nolan approached and zipped the dress the last four inches. Fully dressed in a suit, he sat on the bed and steepled his fingers.

"What's up, pup?" Amelia quipped with a grin as she slipped into her closet to select a necklace.

"Do you have a few minutes before you have to be at the hospital?" he wondered with a forlorn tone.

Handing him the necklace and sitting beside him, Amelia held her hair up and responded, "A few minutes, sure. Maybe ten on the outside. Dad and I are driving in together today." As she spoke, Nolan fastened the necklace for her.

"I'm afraid I've really screwed up," Nolan admitted.

"You?" Amelia scoffed. "I highly doubt it. What's going on?"

"I bought a house and hired a nanny and a housekeeper without mentioning it to Lissa. At first, I thought it'd be a great surprise – a way of taking care of her while I'm back at school. Now, I'm signing papers in an hour and I'm feeling uneasy," Nolan detailed.

"Umm… yeah," Amelia hesitated, shocked that Nolan would proceed with such significant steps without Lissa's input or involvement. Pursing her lips, Amelia searched for words that might comfort Nolan yet also name her impressions. She decided to respond the way she'd interact with a patient. "Say more about that. Uneasy?"

"Maybe terrified is a better word," Nolan huffed with embarrassment. "I started out wanting to shower her with anything and everything she needs over the next few months. My intentions were good, but should I have made all these decisions without her?"

"That's a great question, Nolan," Amelia responded vaguely.

With a grin, he prodded, "But you aren't going to give me an answer, are you?"

With joined lips and slightly raised eyebrows, Amelia disclosed, "It's not my situation. I know your dad and I would probably discuss such significant decisions first, but you and Lissa have your own ways of being a couple. Every couple is different."

Gazing out the window, Nolan shared, "She and Molly were snuggled together in bed when I came in here. Molly has no idea her world is about to radically change… I'm leaving, then we'll have our pseudo-twins."

"Pseudo-twins? Nice phrase," Amelia laughed as she nodded. "I like that."

With a shrug, Nolan continued, "And Lissa… oh, crap, Mom, what have I done?"

Amelia narrowed her eyes and leaned her face closer to his, "It's not like you to second guess yourself."

Balancing his forearms on his knees and staring at the floor, Nolan mumbled, "I'm thinking of quitting school. Rhodes is an enormous honor, but I'm shortchanging my family in the process. I already looked into a leave of absence. I can take up to a year easily and maybe more. We can all move back when the girls are a little older. Or maybe I should let this dream go and venture into the real world. It's not like I couldn't get a job if I stayed."

"Can I make a suggestion?" Amelia quietly proposed as she rested a hand on Nolan's knee. With a face filled with concern and stress, he looked up at her and anticipated her next words. "Talk to Lissa. Come clean. Tell her why you did what you did and what you're thinking. This is the grown up part of life, Nolan. Sometimes, we have to face it."

"I'll call the title company and reschedule," he noted as he stood. His face reminded Amelia of the early days after the adoption when Nolan tried mightily to reassure his younger siblings. The steely façade was thin yet endearing. Deeply hidden vulnerability neared the surface, causing a softness that blurred its edges.

"I wish I could help with Molly, but…" Amelia began to reason.

"You need to be at work. I understand. I'll rally Ryder. It'll be good for him," Nolan smiled.

Amelia locked eyes with her eldest and thoughtfully declared, "You can do this, Nolan. You and Lissa have many decisions to make. You can do this." She stood up and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you, Nolan. Dad and I are behind you 100% no matter what you decide."

With a brave nod, Nolan eeked out, "Thanks, Mom."

Nolan stepped out of the Master Bedroom and walked to Ryder's door. He truly needed Ryder to be there for him and hoped the interaction that was about to occur would be mature. Inside, he worried that he would deteriorate into bossing Ry around if Ryder showed any hesitation. The first step, he thought, was to open the door calmly and not burst in like he might normally do.

Easing the door open, Nolan slid in and quieted the feeble growl of Barkley. Once she saw the intruder was Nolan, she stood up and flapped her tail loudly against the wall. Ryder looked over and opened one eye, "Hey."

"I'm sorry to wake you up," Nolan offered as he sat on the desk chair. "I need a favor."

"Are you going to a funeral or something? What's with the suit?" Ryder inquired as he sat up, rubbed his eyes, and stretched.

"Maybe," Nolan quipped with a grin. "Maybe my own… we'll see."

"Dude, it's too early for riddles," Ryder deadpanned. "What's the favor?"

"Lissa and I need to talk before I leave – about school, where she's going to live, all kinds of details. I've waited to admit something and I need to tell her now," Nolan explained without detail.

"You don't have a second family in England or a mistress on the side or something stupid that I'd do, right?" Ryder pressed.

Shaking his head and closing his eyes, Nolan reverted to a teenager, "No, dork. I need to go wake her up and talk to her _now_ , and I'm hoping you can take care of Molly while we talk."

"Oh," Ryder sputtered. "Are you sure there isn't anything else you need me to do instead?"

"Look, I don't care if you talk Olivia or the Littles into helping with her. I just need to know you're overseeing Molly's care," Nolan explained.

"Well, yeah… bring her in here. I'm on it," Ryder agreed, sensing the desperation and seriousness of the situation. "But make sure you change her diaper first. That's where I draw the line."

"You're a schmuck," Nolan chuckled as he stood up to leave. He paused in the doorway and looked over his shoulder. "Thanks, Ry."

"Go get her before I change my mind," Ryder warned with mock disgust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~'

After rousing and changing Molly, delivering the baby to her uncle, and bringing Lissa some coffee, Nolan reentered the bedroom where his wife was waiting.

With lowered brows, Lissa sipped her coffee and then questioned, "What's going on?"

"I don't know where to start," Nolan sighed as he hung his jacket on a chair then climbed on the bed and wrapped an arm around his wife.

"What'd you do?" Lissa asked, suspecting he was approaching her with some silly confession about forgetting where he'd put his passport or needing to cancel their lunch plans.

"Oh…Liss," he muttered. "Let me get through the next few sentences without interruption and then we can talk, ok?"

"Sure," she shrugged with a befuddled expression. She realized Nolan was not acting like himself.

"Let me talk for a minute. Don't interrupt, ok?" he repeated anxiously. After she nodded, he continued by spewing everything that was on his mind: whether he should leave the Rhodes program or take a leave of absence, how he'd interviewed (he couldn't bring himself to admit he'd hired) help, and that he was deeply confused about his next steps in life. He concluded with, "And, by the way, you know that house next door? I bought it for you."

Setting her coffee mug down and widening her eyes with surprise, she challenged, "You what?" The tone of her voice reminded him of the times when he'd eaten the last cookie or swiped her leftovers from the fridge.

"Yeah," he grinned uncomfortably as he shifted on the bed. His expression took ten years off his face. He was suddenly the shy twelve-year-old who had a crush on her and was afraid to admit it.

"Nolan…" Lissa responded with a teacher voice. She placed her hand over her mouth and paused. When he began to fill the silence, she held up a finger to silence him. Staring straight ahead, Lissa's brows furrowed as she breathed slowly and deeply.

Her two minutes of silence felt like a lifetime. In her head, she attempted to process what she'd been told: she now had a new home that she'd never seen, her always-responsible husband was considering quitting school, and he was in the process of staffing out her life. As she recalled his substantial fortune, she also promised herself that she would not allow her husband to be a trust fund baby.

Methodically and calmly, she recounted, "This is not the first time you've done something very well-intended without me knowing. Supporting Clarisse and keeping it a secret from me was bad enough, Nolan, but I came to understand how your integrity and loyalty guided your decision. Regardless of what I wanted, you believed you needed to help her. This time, it isn't about writing a check. You've made or are making decisions _for_ me - huge decisions that impact me. What gives you the right to do that?"

"Liss, the house started out as a surprise. Like a going away present," he began to explain.

"What if I hate it? What if it isn't where I want to live? What if, Nolan, I surprised you today and declared that I was going back to England with you?" she tested.

Scratching his head, Nolan paused. He completely did not understand any of Lissa's scenarios. "On the England thing, I'd probably say we'd already put together a plan for you to stay here. On the house… I don't know, Liss. I was happy it was close to Mom and Dad. I thought you'd like that."

"But see," she attempted to enlighten him, "you _thought_ I'd like that. You thought _for_ me. You made decisions for me when I had no idea I was even facing decisions. You didn't disregard my input, Nolan, you didn't even seek it." She stood up, walked to the bathroom and closed the door.

As someone who made few mistakes in life, Nolan truly did not know how to respond to the mess he'd created. He was clear that he needed to give Lissa her space and not knock on the bathroom door insisting to continue the conversation. Although he knew what _not_ to do, Nolan had no clarity about what to do next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"On my count," Amelia called out as the team of medical professionals surrounded a stroke patient.

As the team moved the patient to the exam table, Amelia yowled out in pain. She looked at Edwards, who was standing beside her, and mumbled, "Take over."

"Dr. Shepherd?" the nurse questioned.

Amelia held her lower back and winced in pain. She managed to share, "I'm fine. Worry about the patient."

"Dr. Shepherd, you are not fine," another nurse said as she placed her arm around Amelia and helped her to a chair. The rest of the medical team swarmed the stroke patient and assessed his situation. As she attempted to sit, Amelia cried out again.

In the hallway, Owen happened to be walking by on his way to a possible lap-choli patient. He heard Amelia's scream and flew into the trauma room. "Mia?" he called, thankful she was not on the exam table.

"She's over here, Doctor," the nurse informed him. As Owen approached, the nurse added, "We were moving the patient from the stretcher…"

Interrupting, Amelia clarified with gritted teeth, "I threw my back out or strained something. No fuss necessary."

"I'll determine that," Owen insisted as he scooped her up into his arms.

Whispering angrily, Amelia balked, "Owen, I can walk."

"So?" he responded resolutely.

"So put me down," she grumbled.

"No, Mia, I can't do that," Owen declared. He opened the trauma room door with his back and proceeded toward the treatment rooms.

Kepner, at the desk nearby, exclaimed, "Oh no. Dr. Shepherd? What happened?"

"Probably a strain of some sort," Owen explained on her behalf. "Treatment room?"

"Take Three," April offered.

Owen entered the room with April close behind. "Who can I page?" she inquired.

"Nobody," Amelia snapped as her contorted face communicated her pain.

Leaning down so they were face-to-face, Owen looked at his wife and informed her, "You can't function right now, Doctor. Let me call this."

"Portable ultrasound, Kepner. No consults yet," Owen ordered.

"Except…" April began with hesitation.

"What?" Owen countered with frustration.

"You can't work on your wife, Sir. I mean… if you were out hiking or at an airport or something, that'd be one thing. But you're in a hospital full of doctors," she bumbled.

"Torres, then. Get Torres down here," he barked. He opened a drawer, grabbed an ice bag, and popped his hands toward one another to activate it. "Can you move your arm back to hold this?" he wondered aloud as he set the ice on her lower back.

Amelia tried to move her arm, but the upper back muscles protested. She shook her head and managed to mumble, "No."

He propped the ice against a pillow and commented, "It's not snug enough. We need to scoot you back against the side bar. Can you move or should I move you?"

Unable to answer as her muscle spasm raged, Amelia shook her head as she tightly closed her eyes.

"I'll be as gentle as I can, Mia. I'm sorry," he apologized before moving her. As he shifted her over, with the ice between her body and the guard rail, she moaned in pain.

Listening to her heart and taking her BP, Owen went through all the basics. The amount of fuss and effort frustrated Amelia, the doctor-now-patient, but she couldn't communicate that in the midst of her discomfort.

"What's going on?" Callie asked casually as she strode into the room and surveyed the scene.

"Moving a patient from stretcher to exam bed. She pulled or pissed off something," Owen summarized.

"Ah, the ole pissed off muscle diagnosis," Callie nodded. "Let's take a look." Owen stepped around the bed and held Amelia's hand. She grasped it readily and squeezed it hand, even though a part of her wanted to slap him for making such a fuss.

Torres palpated the area with concern. As she began to run the ultrasound over the tender spot, she reassured Amelia, "I have to press down, Amelia. This may hurt."

Groaning and moaning, Amelia reacted as Torres performed the ultrasound. Owen concentrated more on the screen than on Amelia herself.

"Any leg pain, stabbing pain, or inability to move?" Callie quizzed.

"No. I don't have cauda equine syndrome, Torres," Amelia dismissed.

Callie smiled at Owen, "Treating doctors… always an adventure."

"You're not funny," Amelia grumbled through gritted teeth.

"Numbness?" Callie continued, ignoring Amelia's commentary.

"No… I wish. It's pain. I can definitely feel it," Amelia reported.

"I'm going to order a CT just to make sure there aren't any tumors, herniated disks, or infection concerns," Torres told Owen as she met his eyes. Turning to Amelia, Torres offered, "I can get some meds running for you – what are you willing to take?"

"Start with massage," Amelia requested.

"Good call… we can do that," Callie agreed. "I'm also going to dose you up with Toradol. If I don't see some relief, though, we'll need to get more serious. We don't need tissue damage to result from not controlling pain."

"Right," the patient responded with a grunt. "Owen, you need to get back on the floor."

"I'm staying right here, Amelia," he grinned. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, adding, "You can't get rid of me that easily."


	65. Chapter 65 - Face the Pain

**Chapter 65**

 **An Imperfect Life – Face the Pain**

 **January 12**

"Owww… oww… oww… oww," Amelia winced as she attempted to sit up.

With her hands carefully placed on Amelia's hip and back, Callie explained, "I've got you, Amelia. Let me support you down here. It's hurting because you're trying to move yourself."

Amelia sighed heavily and commented, "It's hurting because it's hurting and it's hurt."

With a soft smile, Callie caught Owen's eye and responded slowly, "I know." Still communicating with Owen, she looked toward the ceiling. He smiled with tightened lips, stifling a laugh.

"Can I help, Mia?" he questioned gently.

"No," she snapped unintentionally.

While Callie examined Amelia at another angle and tested her reflexes, Owen sat back in his seat and slouched. He typed out a text to Ryder. After explaining Amelia's fall, Owen asked Ryder to come sit with Amelia at the hospital. Eager to escape his brotherly babysitting promise, Ryder readily agreed. He entrusted the baby to Olivia and shot out the door.

"Here's the deal," Callie explained as she jotted some notes into the chart, "Let's slide you to the head of the line at CT and then begin the Toradol. I want a full picture before we treat you with an anti-inflammatory. Owen, if you take her up there, her priority status will sky rocket."

Owen nodded and stood up. "I can help you lie back down, Mia?" he offered.

"That's a good idea," Torres affirmed. She stood at one side of the bed and Owen stood at the other. "In fact, Amelia, you need to relax into our grip." Callie looked at Owen and explained, " _We_ are going to move you. Try your best not to hold your own weight." Amelia nodded and Callie quickly provided instructions to Owen, ending by mumbling the question, "She's not going to resist us, is she?"

Shrugging, Owen wasn't sure how his headstrong wife would react. Together, the two began to move Amelia, who couldn't fully relax into their arms.

"Relax!" Callie called out, as if a yell would encourage such an action.

Tensing up, Amelia hollered back, "I'm trying."

Witnessing the disconnect, Owen bent down and kissed Amelia softly. He and Callie completed their task with ease and Callie commented in jest, "Wow! Wish I would've thought of that." She patted Amelia's leg and promised, "I'll check in as soon as I review the scans."

As Callie predicted, Owen was able to cut to the front of the CT line. As he sat in the booth and watched the images appear, he was relieved to see that there were no apparent clots, tumors, or abnormalities. The likely diagnosis was a severe muscle spasm or strain. While not painless, neither would require surgery.

When the orderly wheeled Amelia back to the ER, Owen walked alongside the stretcher. Ryder was waiting for them outside the treatment room. Bored and alone, he sat in a wheelchair as he wheeled up and down the hallway attempting to do wheelies. Coming up from behind, Owen firmly grasped a hand around one of the handles and held the chair down.

"Hey," Ryder whined as he looked back to see what or who was impeding his progress.

"C'mon, Ry," Owen frowned. Ryder, remaining in the wheelchair, slipped beside Amelia.

Smiling for the first time since her fall, Amelia grinned and greeted her son, "Baby Bear!"

"Hey, Mama. What the hell?" he scoffed playfully.

"Tell me about it," Amelia responded.

With his wife now entrusted to Ryder's care, Owen bent down and whispered, "They need me. Incoming MVA."

She nodded gently and kissed him, "Thanks, Handsome. Go save lives." Reaching down, Amelia patted Owen's rear. With a schoolboy grin, Owen's face reddened slightly as he stood and turned to leave.

Commentating, Ryder offered in a narrator's voice, "Never had a car crash sounded so romantic. But when Dr. Wonderful whispered it lovingly into Dr. Bad Ass' ear, the orchestras of their hearts swelled as the two joined in a sweet… tender kiss."

Amelia grabbed a pillow and threw it at her son with a slight giggle. "You are one of a kind, Ryder Blake. One of a kind."

"Can you imagine two of me?!" Ryder proposed with wonder and awe.

"The world's not ready, yet, Ry… it's just not ready," Amelia kidded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

With Lissa behind the bathroom door, Nolan breathed deeply and searched his mind for a next step. He stood slowly and approached the door. "Liss… I'm going to feed Molly breakfast. I'll be downstairs."

"Ok," she responded from the shower.

 _At least she responded,_ Nolan thought.

After finding Ryder's room empty, Nolan continued down the stairs and spotted his daughter and sister. With Olivia beside her, Molly was in her highchair beaming. Juice from mandarin orange slices, cheerios, and oatmeal covered her face and bib. She called out to her daddy and held up a mushed orange slice.

Nolan obliged and bent down with his mouth wide open. Sloppily shoving the food past his teeth, Molly laughed as she fed her daddy. Grabbing her hand, Nolan made grumbly noises and pretended as if he was going to nibble on it. Giggles from a 10 month-old and a 14 year-old filled the room.

After Molly had finished breakfast and Olivia had cleaned her up, Nolan attempted to hold his wiggly daughter. Ready to move after being constrained in the high chair, Molly convinced her daddy to set her down on the floor.

Crawling and looking back to confirm that Daddy and Auntie were watching her, Molly covered the span of the room quickly. When she reached the sofa, Molly glanced and grinned at her audience.

"The wheels are turning," Nolan observed. "What is she up to?" He slowly approached the baby and crouched down to watch her. "What are you going to do, Miss Molly?"

With a giggle, Molly turned her head and studied the couch. She reached up one arm and placed her hand intentionally on top of the cushion. After glancing quickly toward and then away from Nolan, she repeated the process with her other hand and began to pull herself up. As she focused on her task with determination, she grunted and lowered her brows. Nolan didn't move; instead, he gave her the space to dare.

Lissa quietly descended the stairs and turned the corner to discover Molly standing and balancing with the help of the couch. Pausing and catching Nolan's eye, Lissa grinned and took her phone from her pocket. Although taken from long distance, Molly's first successful attempt at standing was captured in a picture.

"Yay, Molly!" Lissa called out as she clapped her hands. Molly laughed and lifted her hands to join in the clapping. In the process, she stumbled and lost her footing. Nolan's quick response prevented Molly's head from hitting the table, but the fast movement terrified the baby and caused her to yowl.

"Shhh…shh …shh," Nolan soothed as he scooped her up and cupped the back of her head in his large hand. Having sprinted over, Lissa reached Nolan quickly. The second Molly saw her, Molly held her arms out toward her mama. Frowning, Nolan obliged and handed Molly to Lissa. Although he knew Molly's choice made sense, her preference for Mama in a moment of panic made him feel like the lesser parent. As Lissa soothed the little girl, Nolan looked on with concern and rubbed Molly's back.

As Molly clung onto Nam and sucked on her paci, Lissa regarded Nolan simply and stated, "I guess I should have a look at the house."

"Uh… sure," Nolan nodded reluctantly. "Actually, I need to be at the title company in 30 minutes to sign the papers. Why don't we all go?"

Licking her upper lip, Lissa gazed down at the floor and inquired, "Then when I see it, that's it. It's ours no matter what, right?"

"I guess so," Nolan chuckled half-heartedly as he watched his big surprise further unravel. Locking her eyes on his, Lissa stared at him. No words were needed – Nolan had received that blank expression before. He added, "How about if I call the realtor and ask him to meet us there, then call the title company and shift the signing appointment?" Molly's brown eyes studied her father's uneasy presence as Nolan's usual confidence wilted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"I have the scans," Callie announced as she entered the room. "Check you out!" she celebrated as Ryder mastered a wheelchair wheelie.

Lying still, Amelia advised, "Don't encourage him, Callie."

"Awww… c'mon, Mom. He's having fun," she pressed.

"Yeah… c'mon, Mom," Ryder echoed.

Amelia shook her head and returned to the initial topic, "You have the scans?"

"You, my friend, are all clear," Callie smirked. "No clots, no tears, and no tumors. Surprisingly, no hematomas either."

"I can get back to work then," Amelia proclaimed in a tired voice.

"Uh…no," Callie ordered. Turning to Ryder, she instructed, "Take your mama home and pamper the hell out of her. She needs rest, ice, and servants."

"I thought it was rest, ice, compression, elevation," Ryder tested.

Looking at Amelia, Callie shook her head, "Damn doctors' kids. Think they know everything." Amelia chuckled and Callie continued, "I want to inject a mega dose of Toradol and send you home with pills to take over the next three-five days. You'll need to stretch, but not overdo it. Do you want pain meds just in case?"

"Not particularly. Maybe a shot of something now and Owen can bring home another dose?" Amelia proposed, not wanting the pain pills in her possession.

"Let's give you a shot of Tramadol to go with the Toradol, Doll," Callie quipped, entertaining herself. "I'll get someone to bring those in. We'll observe for reactions for ten minutes and then you can be on your way."

"Can I take the wheelchair home?" Ryder begged.

"Oh, absolutely," Callie jested, "because you know how that'd go over with my boss."

Shaking his head, Ryder observed with a forlorn sigh, "He's everyone's boss."

While they waited for the injections, Ryder continued to play in the wheelchair while Amelia closed her eyes and attempted to will the pain away. A few minutes later, Owen strolled in with needles in hand.

"Lower those pants, Beautiful," he ordered with a cheery tone.

"Oh, Dad…" Ryder groaned as he wheeled toward the door to leave the room.

"Hey, Ry, put that back where you found it then come sit with Mom, ok?" he requested as his son nodded without turning to make eye contact.

Owen slid Amelia's scrubs down a few inches and informed her, "The Toradol is going in the bad side and the painkiller in the other." He set the needles on a rolling tray, ripped open an alcohol pad and softly pinched her skin before injecting her.

"Barely felt it until the med went in," Amelia praised.

"It takes skill to be the Chief," he smiled as he spoke through the needle cap between his teeth. He repeated his process on the other side just as smoothly as the first. Rubbing her back, he cooed, "I hope these help."

"Me too," she grinned. "Callie thinks she's keeping me out for 3-5 days."

Without delay, Owen nodded and agreed, "At least. It'll drive you nuts, won't it?"

"Can't I stay in an on-call room? I'll rest more," she promised. "No kids, no interruptions…"

"Crappy hospital food, overhead speakers calling out codes, husband wandering by for sex," he ended her thoughts with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Before they headed to the house, Nolan broke the news to Lissa about the nanny and assistant. The nanny, who would not start until March, and the assistant, as he entitled her, each had a unique arrangement. The assistant would start as soon as Lissa wanted and would be available to cook, clean, shop, or run errands. She was a college student at UW who would live on campus and work 4-6 hours each weekday. He hoped the nanny would live at the house, but he left the final decision up to Lissa. After she absorbed the news, Lissa admitted she was relieved to have help on hand. She reserved the right, however, to replace Nolan's choices for each position. He readily agreed, confident she'd find his choices acceptable.

Owen and Amelia's Lake House was the largest in the neighborhood and the house Nolan had chosen was small in comparison. Just over 3000 square feet on the main level, the first floor had three bedrooms, a great room, the kitchen, dining room and a den. The upstairs spanned two-thirds of the house, standing over the kids' bedrooms, den, and great room. It included a large balcony, full bathroom, two rooms that could become bedrooms if closets were added and an empty but carpeted space larger than the great room.

Although she didn't want to admit it, Lissa loved the house. Nolan opened the red front door and led her past entrances to the den and dining room, opting to go directly into the great room. From there, she could spot the kitchen, a nook, an outside deck and a sunroom. The open and airy floorplan made the home bright and cheery. To the left were the two bedrooms and the den. The den could double as a bedroom. The master suite, utility room, and garage were to the right.

"Nolan James," Lissa sounded seriously at a turtle's pace. Nolan froze, concerned. She smiled from ear to ear and beamed, "I absolutely love it. It's perfect for our family."

With an enormous sigh of relief, Nolan picked up Lissa and twirled her around. In her mama's arms, Molly giggled as the three created a circle. Nolan celebrated, "I'm so thrilled. I really wanted this to be a happy surprise. You love it, and I love those words."

"I do love it, but promise me you'll never pick out a house without me again," she stated with a look that combined warning and gentleness.

"Promise," Nolan agreed.


	66. Chapter 66 - Waiting Game

**Chapter 66**

 **An Imperfect Life – Waiting Game**

 **January 17**

As Amelia healed, she discovered the best way to lay low was to plant herself in the middle of Nolan and Lissa's great room. With no furniture, she and Molly could play on the floor while Lissa spoke with painters, handymen, and the decorator. The frenzy of moving and settling into the new home provided a welcome distraction for Lissa after Nolan returned to England.

"I'm thinking the open space upstairs needs to be next," Lissa pondered as she stopped and lay down next to her mother-in-law. Molly was climbing the Gama play structure and handing Amelia toys.

"I can't wait to see this space when it's finished. I like the combination of the navy-gray accent wall and the light beige. It didn't sound right until I saw the picture. Now, I love it," Amelia grinned with affirmation.

"Me too. He'll start painting the accent wall tomorrow. Did I tell you I found throw pillows that he's going to color match?" Lissa mentioned.

"That'll be gorgeous until sippy cups spill on it," Amelia teased as she tickled Molly and traded funny faces.

Distracted, Lissa questioned, "Is the dark red in the dining room too dark?"

"Not at all, especially if the lower half with the wood stays white," Amelia assured her. "And the pale yellow in the kitchen looks perfect. You're doing great."

"I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing," Lissa admitted as she lifted her legs and balanced Molly in the air.

"It's good for you to call the shots, Lissa. You have it in you. You've never had to opportunity to shine on your own," Amelia mused.

"That feels like a comment that pertains to more than wall colors," Lissa pressed.

"You're always in Nolan's shadow, Lissy-lou. It may feel lonely, but I think the next two months without Nolan are a prime opportunity for you to root and center yourself," Amelia informed her.

"Whatever that means," Lissa smiled and giggled as she caught Amelia's eyes.

With a tilt to her head, Amelia raised her eyebrows and widened her eyes, "It means it's time for you to figure out who Lissa is. Not the Lissa who is part of Lissa and Nolan. The Lissa who is Lissa. What's it like for you to call the shots in your life? To make decisions? To follow your own gut?" Lissa gazed out the window toward the lake without response. Amelia concluded, "Who is Lissa apart from Nolan?"

" _Is_ there a Lissa apart from Nolan?" the young mother wondered aloud.

"Yes, and I hope she emerges. Nolan has no problem defining Nolan. Maybe it's time for you to follow his example," Amelia suggested.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

The next week, Owen stopped by to check in on the Tremblay-Hunt home. He, Ryder, Ria and Lucas were on their way home from soccer.

"You're turning too soon, Dad," Lucas corrected as Owen pulled up to the brick circular driveway in front of the house.

"We're stopping to see Lissa and Molly first, buddy," Owen shared. The little kids jumped out of the truck with glee and ran to the front door, opening it as if it were their home. After greeting Lissa, they ran up to the upstairs empty space that was perfect for running and jumping. Ryder walked around the front yard and checked out the new landscaping. Owen stepped inside, carrying a bouquet of flowers.

"Wow, you've been busy!" Owen exclaimed as he studied the space. Although the upstairs remained unfinished, the entire first floor had been painted and furniture had been delivered. The empty house was now a home.

Lissa smiled in response as she held the phone to her ear and held up a finger. While she filled a vase with warm water and placed the flowers in it, Molly stood against the large glass windows looking toward the lake. When she saw Owen, she called out, "Papa!"

"Molly!" Owen echoed her enthusiasm. "Look at you stand up, big girl." Wrapping her in his arms and letting Molly plant a sloppy kiss on him, Owen cooed and fussed over his granddaughter. "Who's Mommy talking to?" he asked the baby in a gentle voice before rubbing his hand against her forehead. Noticing she needed to be changed, Owen walked into the bubble gum pink bedroom that had been decorated for Molly and went about tending her needs. In the background, he could hear Lissa speaking on the phone to Nolan.

"You'll appreciate it when you see it in person," Lissa insisted to her husband who wasn't keen on the dining room furniture choice she'd made. "What about the living room and the kitchen?"

Nolan answered, but could only be heard by Lissa. She frowned as she responded, "Nolan, if you had such strong opinions about all this, you should've shared them with me."

More silence was followed by another response from Lissa. "The upstairs is next, so think about what you want before I decide on my own." Following a brief silence, Lissa added resolutely, "Noles, that makes no sense. When you come home, we'll have our hands full of babies. I'm not waiting."

Nolan was obviously expressing dismay when his wife cut the conversation short, "Listen. Your dad and the kids just stopped by. We'll have to talk about this later." After brief pause, Lissa relented, "Sure. Let me find her. She's with your dad."

Leaning on the doorframe, Lissa peeked into Molly's room and announced, "Nolan wants to say goodbye to Molly." Lissa smirked as she handed Owen the phone, steam collecting under her controlled demeanor.

"Nolan," Owen greeted with enthusiasm. "How's England?"

After chatting with his son, Owen put the phone to Molly's ear. She didn't completely understand what was happening, but she appeared to like imitating her mama and papa. Nolan's voice came over the line and Molly reached her arm into the air. Her hand fisted and spread out as she called, "Da!"

Owen continued holding the phone as Lissa picked up the baby and explained, "Daddy's in England, Molly. Say bye-bye."

She shook her head and confused sadness filled her face as she looked around for Nolan and reached out for her da. As she began to cry, Lissa gently claimed the phone from Owen's hand and insisted, "Trems, she's confused about where you are and is about to cry. We'll Facetime later…" She ended the call after his response with the rushed words, "Yeah, me too. Yeah, bye."

"Everything ok?" Owen asked with concern.

Avoiding the true question, Lissa answered with a smile, "The baby's great. Look at how much the baby bump has grown! I'm worried I might be carrying a huge baby."

"May I?" Owen inquired as he brought his hands near the bump. Once Lissa nodded, he set his hands on the bump and estimated the size. "I think you're just right for this stage in the pregnancy."

Ryder walked in and strolled toward Lissa. He embraced her and poured out his charm, "Hello, lovely sister." Although she had never had romantic feelings for Ryder, his strong arms felt reassuring and grounding for Lissa. Quickly, she assessed that simply being held was comforting. She stayed in the embrace a touch longer than normal and briefly rested her head on Ryder's chest. With a snicker, she expressed, "Hello, Trouble Maker."

Ryder looked over his shoulders one at a time, then gathered his brows toward his nose, "Who? You couldn't mean me?!"

With a playful push, Lissa shoved Ryder's shoulder. "Make yourself at home, Ryder," she invited.

Slowly turning in a circle so he could take in all the changes, Ryder observed, "It looks great in here." Without knowing it, Ryder had just uttered the words Lissa most needed to hear.

With pregnancy-induced teariness, Lissa gushed, "Thank you."

Although he felt slightly guilty about wanting to avoid the emotionality that may be emerging, Owen grinned, stood, and clapped his hands before calling out, "Kiddos, let's head home."

"I think I'll hang her awhile, Dad," Ryder stated.

"Stay for dinner," Lissa urged as Ria and Lucas bounded down the stairs.

"Or you could come over to the house," Owen suggested.

With a shake of the head, Lissa insisted, "Dads, I can't keep imposing on you guys."

"You're our daughter," Owen scoffed. "There's never any question, Lissa. You're always welcome at the house."

Lissa popped up and hugged Owen, "Thank you. Maybe another night."

"I'll keep her company, Dad," Ryder added. Owen gathered up the kids and headed out, reminding Lissa that she was welcome at the house if she changed her mind. Molly kissed him and waved bye-bye as the three jumped into the truck for the short drive to the Lake House.

As Ryder bit into an apple and leaned against the kitchen island, Lissa disclosed with a playful voice, "Julie's coming over."

"Why?" Ryder asked casually, trying to hide his interest.

Squeezing her face toward the center and wrinkling her nose, Lissa confessed, "The college student that Nolan hired… she just wasn't a fit. Julie's helping me out until I find someone."

"Oh…" Ryder responded blankly. He hadn't seen Julie since Christmastime. Somehow, they'd seemed to drift apart once she began dating Rick The Idiot, as Ryder named the boyfriend. Attempting to appear casual, Ryder inquired, "Is she still dating what's-his-name?"

"No," Lissa responded casually as she gathered up some of Molly's toys that were strewn about. She considered sharing the details about their breakup, but decided it was not her story to tell. Pausing, Lissa looked toward Ryder and asked, "And what about Amy? I haven't seen her around."

"I broke up with her. Knowing she was Olivia's friend… it was way too weird," Ryder dismissed. "Besides," he announced casually, "I'm moving in with Piper."

Widening her eyes and freezing in position, Lissa sputtered, "Wha… what?!"

"I'm 18 now," Ryder reminded her as he squared his shoulders.

"So?" Lissa pushed. "Why wouldn't you stay at home until you leave for the Academy?"

Laughing, Ryder repeated, "Because I'm 18 now."

Lissa slowly sat down and stared at Ryder with shock. "Piper?"

With a sputtering chuckle, Ryder pointed out, "She's one of your best friends, Lissa. Why are you saying her name with shock?"

"Because she's a… well… she lives large," Lissa attempted to describe without calling her friend an out of control partier who had a variety of sexual partners.

With a sly grin, Ryder quipped, "Exactly."

"Do your parents know?" Lissa wondered aloud.

"Not yet," Ryder admitted as he attempted to sound casual. "I thought maybe I could move in here first and then ease my way over to Piper's."

"You did, huh?" Lissa scoffed. "I don't think so, Ryder. If you want to live here and stay until college, no problem, but I'm not going to participate in a sneaky scheme."

"Oh," Ryder pressed his lips together and moved them back and forth. His plan was dashed.

Across the room, Julie let herself in. Before making eye contact or noticing Ryder, she sang, "Hello, ladies." Molly saw her and crawled quickly toward her pal. When she reached Julie's legs, she began to stand up as she grabbed onto Julie's jeans. Julie reached down and scooped Molly into her arms. "Hi, Baby," she cooed.

As she walked further into the room, she spotted Ryder and paused. "Oh, hey, Flyboy," she sputtered as she forced herself to remain casual.

With a nonchalant grin, Ryder chirped, "Hey. Been awhile."

"Yeah, it has," Julie agreed. Surveying the room, she noticed they were alone. "Where's Lissa?"

"No idea. She was just here," Ryder shrugged. Holding out his hand, he continued, "Have a seat."

Shaking her head, Julie declined, "I can't. I'm here to help with errands and the baby."

"Julie!" Lissa celebrated as she returned to the room. She proceeded toward her and hugged her. "There's not much going on today. I'm wondering if you could keep track of Molly while I run to the store."

"Of course," Julie smiled.

"She'll be ready to eat in about an hour. The fridge is full of options for her," Lissa shared. "You can both help yourselves to whatever looks good for dinner."

After Lissa left, Ryder made his way to the couch. After tilting his head back, he stared at the ceiling. He lost himself in thought wondering if he should stay or return home. For some reason he couldn't pinpoint, he felt awkward around Julie.

As Ryder studied the air, Julie tidied up the kitchen counter as Molly crawled around and explored.

"Burgers for dinner, Ry?" Julie called out a few minutes later.

Sitting up and twisting to face her, Ryder reassured Julie, "You don't need to cook for me, Jules."

Scoffing, Julie retorted, "Who said I was cooking?"

"Oh…" Ryder muttered awkwardly. "Umm… I guess I thought that was implied when you suggested the menu. Want me to start the grill?"

"There's enough for one burger," Julie clarified. "There's also a smidgen of lasagna, a bratwurst, and some left over vegetables. I was trying to figure out who was eating what."

Walking to the kitchen, Ryder slid his hand along the small of Julie's back as he passed her and headed past her and opened the freezer. He suggested, "There's some chicken in here."

"It's frozen," Julie responded with a hint of a giggle.

With a shrug, Ryder countered, "Well… yeah." The two caught eyes for an extended moment before being interrupted by Molly. She pulled on Ryder's pant leg and called out with a hearty giggle a somewhat decipherable phrase, "Got you!"

"You got me?!" Ryder questioned with excitement in his voice as he peered down toward the floor.

Molly continued to laugh as she pulled on her uncle and requested, "Up."

"Now you're bossing me around, huh?" Ryder teased as he bent down and scooped Molly into his arms. Placing his hands under her arms on either side of her chest, he held her up and swayed. He announced, "Molly's flying… she's piloting her own jet. Look at her up in the air." Molly roared with delight as she called out for more.

Julie was smitten by the scene and smiled softly as she watched. When Ryder remembered she was there and caught her eye, he announced, "Pilot Jules needs a co-pilot Molly. Are you ready for a mid-air jump to your next plane, you little daredevil?" He held Molly toward Julie in an attempt to hand off the baby. Julie's arms became tangled in Ryder's as they attempted to safely transfer the baby while simultaneously. As Ryder and Julie began to laugh, Molly joined in. Slowly, the couple attempted to free their arms from the knot they'd created.

"Wait," Ryder suggested. "How about if we both kneel down and put Molly on the floor?"

Julie followed his lead and they set Molly down. She immediately began reaching for Julie, then turned and reached for Ryder. Unable to decide, she repeated the pattern.

The couple faced one another and Julie proposed, "One of us takes Molly and the other figures out dinner."

Simultaneously, the both called out, "I get the baby."

As he chuckled, Ryder deferred to Julie and offered, "Take Squirt and I'll be the chef."

"Sure?" Julie confirmed as she wrapped her arms around the baby and stood.

With soft eyes, Ryder nodded and assured her, "No worries."

Julie sat on the floor with Molly near the kitchen and the two played with toys. While he reheated the medley of leftovers, Ryder began to feel more at ease. "How's Rick?" he asked as if he was interested and unaware of the breakup.

"Who knows?" Julie quipped with a deadpan tone. "I tossed him to the curb."

"Poor guy. Did you beat him up first or just break his heart?" Ryder taunted.

Rolling her eyes, Julie elaborated, "He was too handsy. I'd had enough."

"Ahhh," Ryder responded without commentary.

After a brief silence filled only with Molly's babbling, Julie questioned, "And Amy? She's well?"

"Broke up with her," Ryder responded casually. "Ends up she and Olivia go to the same dance studio and are buddies. It was way too weird dating after Olivia invited her over to spend the night."

"You didn't try to join the sleepover?" Julie kidded.

"The Rents were home," he chuckled. "I've kinda been seeing one of Lissa's friends. It's pretty casual."

"Hmm," Julie acknowledged while keeping her eyes on Molly.

Ryder announced that dinner was ready once he'd prepared something for Molly and set the table. The three sat down, and Molly began with some bananas and Cheerios. As they ate with minimal conversation, Ryder thought about the strange scene. He, Julie, and a baby were eating dinner as if they were a family. On the one hand, he was surprised by how relaxing and comfortable it felt. However, on the other hand, Ryder wondered how he'd found his way into such a Rockwellian situation.

Leaning over slightly to catch Ryder's attention, Julie softly commented, "This is nice, Ry. I've missed you."


	67. Chapter 67 - Hold Me Close

**Chapter 67**

 **An Imperfect Life – Hold Me Close**

 **March 1**

"Mommy?" Lucas whispered loudly as he leaned near Amelia's ear around midnight.

Without opening her eyes, Amelia responded softly, "What's up, Monkey?"

"Can I sleep with you?" he begged, knowing Owen wasn't home. Owen had stopped giving in to Lucas' nighttime visits long ago, but Amelia, desperate to hold on to her last baby, often gave in if she was alone.

"Sure. Crawl in," she smiled, her eyes still closed.

With verve, Lucas climbed onto the bed and snuggled against Amelia's chest and belly. "I love you, Mama," he cooed.

"I love you, too, Luke," Amelia responded happily. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"No. I just woke up thinking about you," he explained as he patted his hand on her arm and snuggled his cheek into her elbow.

Warmed by his sweet words, Amelia suggested, "Let's both go to sleep and have happy dreams then."

Six hours later, Owen trudged in half asleep. His overnight shift had been non-stop and he was ready to hibernate. As he strolled past the bed, he chuckled to himself. Once again, Lucas had managed to wiggle his way into the bed. Amelia lay in the middle, with the boy was spread out diagonally. His arms were stretched on either side and his body took up a large portion of the bed.

Dragging himself to the closet to undress and to the bathroom to brush his teeth, Owen privately celebrated the relationships Amelia had with the boys. While he and Nolan were fairly close, Owen had never managed to create a strong relationship with Ryder and Lucas to the degree Amelia had. Her relationships with the younger boys were precious and sacred. Then again, Amelia and Olivia had challenges in their relationship and he and Olivia had been inseparable from the moment she came to live with them until she hit puberty.

He thought about the family that had filled the ER during his shift. After hours of trying to save their son, Owen had forced himself to notify the family that their boy had died. Splashing water on his face, as if attempting to wash away the tragedy, Owen exhaled slowly. Grabbing the nearby hand towel, he inhaled Amelia's scent as he tried to set aside the pain of the evening. Although he might not admit it aloud, Owen was thankful that Lucas was safely tucked into the big bed. If it were possible to shield him from every possible danger and disaster, Owen knew he'd move mountains to do so. After the shift he'd experienced, he wished he could gather the whole brood under his wing and protect them from the world.

"Hey," he whispered as he crawled into bed and wrapped his arm around Amelia. He tenderly kissed her neck and rubbed his nose along her jawline.

She stretched peacefully and sighed, "I'm sorry I gave in to him… you know what a softie I am when it comes to gingers."

"No… I'm glad," he whispered. "I wish all six of them were here."

"Puberty's smelly," she giggled lightly. "This one isn't."

He smiled softly and closed his eyes, quickly surrendering to sleep.

A couple hours later, Lucas woke up and could hear Owen's masculine breathing. Believing his nighttime visit would be a secret, he slipped out of the bed and plodded into his own room. Snuggled with Barkley, he fell back to sleep with his head resting on her shoulder.

When Amelia awoke and attempted to quietly slide out of bed, Owen strengthened his embrace and cooed, "No. Stay."

"I need to take Ria to soccer and the other girls to dance," she explained.

"Just five minutes," he begged. With a smile, she lay down and wrapped her arms around from underneath his arm, grasping his forearm with her hands. After a few seconds of silence, Owen inquired, "How are you holding up?" He was referring to Ryder's recent exodus and move to Piper's apartment.

With a few tears gathering in her eyes, she squeaked, "I miss him."

"I know," Owen sympathized.

"I want him home," she admitted with sadness.

"I know," he repeated as he ran his stubbly beard along her cheek. "He thinks he's ready to tackle the world. He's been wanting to seek adventures since the second he was conceived."

Barely audible, she said again, "I miss him." Owen tightened his grip and held her, unable to utter the words in his heart, _So do I._

 _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'_

Having only spent the first night in his new home on the couch, Ryder snoozed peacefully in Piper's bed. He lay there half-awake with his eyes closed, pondering his newfound freedom and reveling in the convenient, no-strings-attached sex his roommate was all too willing to provide. After months of refraining from more than light petting with sweet, young Amy, Ryder believed he was ready for a woman. Piper provided the opportunity and the locale. Life was good.

His mind wandered back to his recent announcement. When he informed Owen and Amelia that he planned to move out, Owen's first response was a critical scoff. Amelia reacted with sinking shoulders and an extended, disappointed stare.

 _"You're still in school," Owen had pointed out as if Ryder was unaware of the obvious._

 _"Yep," Ryder had smirked, confident in his decision._

 _"Where are you going to live?" Amelia had asked with a touch of concern._

 _"I have a friend who said I could move in," Ryder offered, sharing half the story. "Plus, I have access to my trust fund now. I'll be a decent roommate… you know, pay rent and half the bills and all that."_

 _"And your own tuition at school if you're no longer under this roof," Owen had huffed._

 _With a non-reactive shrug, Ryder readily agreed, "No problem. That's fair."_

 _Owen truly wanted to shake Ryder and yell, What the hell are your thinking? You're not ready to move out. Instead, his anger covered his concern and sadness._

 _"Can I borrow the truck to move my stuff?" Ryder requested after Owen stewed and pretended to thumb through the mail on the kitchen counter._

 _"No," Owen answered quickly._

 _At the same moment, Amelia responded, "Of course."_

 _Glancing at one another, Owen and Amelia locked eyes. He had no doubt she was saddened by Ryder's decision, and he didn't want to increase her angst. At the same time, he did not want to show any support for Ryder's choice. With a saddened grin, Owen looked at Amelia before turning to Ryder and sternly repeating, "No. It's not available."_

 _At all of eighteen, Ryder couldn't begin to comprehend Owen's reaction and tension. Although hurt by Owen's refusal, Ryder was stubborn enough to hide his true feelings. With a casual, "Oh… no problem," Ryder mentioned, "I'll be back soon to grab my bags." With that, he stepped out the front door and walked over to Nolan and Lissa's. He figured that Lissa would be happy to lend him the Jeep._

Now, lying in bed, Ryder smiled as Piper's hand sleepily rested on his chest. He grasped it and kissed it softly, appreciating her wild and pleasurable companionship. Once she was awake, the two were headed out to buy a motorcycle. Ryder had been waiting for years to experience the freedom of one. Now legally an adult and officially on his own, he could drive whatever the hell he pleased. He chuckled as he imagined the moment his parents would find out and completely lose their cool.

 _I'm facing a decision – or a series of decisions - and it is tremendously difficult,_ Nolan typed _. Some of the options aren't even clear; I can barely decipher the situation as a whole. Each option pulls at me with great force and tenacity. Each possibility holds promise and shortcomings._ He paused as he chewed his pencil and rested his chin in his hand. After an hour of attempting to sort out his life and his next steps, this was as much as he'd been able to put into words. Initially, the email was intended for Lissa. At this point, Nolan wasn't sure.

The previous week, he had spoken to the Dean and applied for a leave of absence that would begin at the end of the current eight-week term. The frank and lengthy conversation was clarifying, ending with both men understanding that Nolan's eventual return was uncertain. Much to his surprise, the Dean asked for Nolan's consent to share his name with friends and colleagues. Without a doubt, the Dean assured him, many potential career paths converged at Nolan's current crossroads.

Within a few days, offers and inquiries began to arrive. While flattered, Nolan was also overwhelmed. Simply choosing to leave school was a dramatic decision. The speed at which significant offers arrived precluded time to process his decision to take a break from Oxford. By making one move, Nolan had sent the dominoes toppling.

Returning to the pad of paper in front of him, he crossed out random notes he'd jotted along the way. _Stay? Go? NYC? Toyko?_ Although he had a number of job offers, he knew in his heart that the location had been narrowed down to either Seattle or London. He hadn't even told Lissa about the other opportunities. Mentioning his wide array of possibilities almost seemed selfish and cruel. Regardless of where they ended up, her tasks would remain the same. The idea of transporting his family to another new location, Nolan knew deep down, was not viable. Not now. Not when his introverted wife would have her hands full with three babies.

Jotting thoughts on a blank portion of the paper, Nolan wrote _Ask Lissa or just decide? Does asking her to consider options create more stress for her? Doesn't she have enough on her own plate?_ Moving to another area, Nolan drew a square and began to name other thoughts, _Move? After buying the new house?_ He mumbled to himself, 'That'd be illogical." In large letters, he wrote, _SEATTLE_ and underlined it twice. A second decision had been made: he would leave Oxford and they would live in Seattle, at least for the time being. That ruled out job offers from the rest of the nation and world.

With a deep breath, Nolan leaned back in his chair and surveyed the notes and the computer screen. Somehow, even when his parents died, Nolan had managed to clearly understand his next steps in life. These myriad decisions filled his brain and caused him to lose sleep. _I need to talk to someone,_ he realized. Pondering his options, he considered: _Mom? Dad? Ryder? If he could reach Chris, maybe his friend could help._ Wanting to spare Lissa any angst caused him to not list her as an option. After staring out the window while holding his phone in his hand, Nolan made a decision completely out of character: he'd call the house and chat with the person who answered the phone. Maybe Lynne would answer. If Lissa was at the Lake House and answered, he'd take that as a sign that he needed her input. He hit the speed dial and listened to the American ring tone.

"Hello. Shepherd Hunt residence," Lucas answered.

"Hey, Buddy, it's Nolan," the eldest began with a slight stutter. _Ok, I'll talk to the nearest adult – Lucas will hand the phone to someone, and I'll seek his or her advice._

"I was at your house yesterday," Lucas announced. "Molly is almost walking."

His heart sunk and sang simultaneously. "Really? Someone should send me video of that."

"I don't have a phone. Dad says I'm not old enough," Lucas sighed, remaining focused on his own issues rather than on Nolan's.

With a chuckle, Nolan assured his brother, "The time will come, Lucas. No worries… What else happened when you were at the house?"

Lucas broke into hysterical laughter as he tried to speak and share a response. Nolan couldn't begin to make sense of the words. Eventually, Lucas slowed down enough to disclose what every eight-year-old boy would find hilarious: Molly had blown out her diaper.

"And you think that's funny, huh?" Nolan laughed.

"Don't you?" Lucas retorted.

"It depends if I'm the one cleaning it up," Nolan reasoned.

"Gross! Eewwww," Lucas reacted strongly. "Babies can be disgusting… and messy… and smelly."

"And adorable and sweet and precious," Nolan added with a Daddy's perspective.

"I guess," the little brother tried to accept.

Changing the subject, Nolan inquired, "Who's there with you, Luke?"

"Nobody," he responded plainly. "Mommy is driving the girls somewhere and will be right back. Ryder's never home."

"What about Dad?" Nolan wondered aloud.

"He's here but he's sleeping. Mommy told me only to wake him up if it was really, really important or if something wasn't safe. Daddy worked all night," Lucas explained.

"So you're there alone?" Nolan sought to confirm.

"Only for a few minutes. Mommy said this was a good test to see how grown up I am. I told her I'm growing up even if she still calls me her baby," he proudly declared.

Intrigued by Lucas' self-understanding, Nolan chose to trust his brothers' input. "Here's the deal, Luke. I called to talk to a grown up. Do you think you can help me?"

"Duh," he blurted with sass. "I just said I'm growing up, Nolan."

"Right…" Nolan confirmed. "I am trying to make some really big decisions. I've been thinking about them for a long time. What should I do?"

"My teacher says when we don't know what to do, we should pray. Have you prayed?" the innocent boy inquired.

With a slight chuckle, admitting to something he seldom did, Nolan confessed, "Actually, I have prayed about it. Then I made a list and I wrote down all the choices I could make. After that, I thought some more."

"If you're thinking about doing something bad, then don't do that choice," Lucas advised. "'Cause you're a good guy."

"Thanks," Nolan smiled. "All the choices are good ideas. But if I choose one, the others will go away."

"How long have you been married?" Lucas asked out of the blue as if he was a practiced therapist.

"Umm… three, almost four years," Nolan stumbled, surprised by the topic shift.

Lucas sighed with a hint of exasperation, "When you're married, doesn't your wife or husband become the person you love the most?"

"I've loved Lissa the most for a long, long time," Nolan mused as a sense of peace swept over him.

"Then why don't you call her?" Lucas reasoned.

"I don't want her to worry. She's taking care of Molly and getting ready to have the baby," Nolan clarified.

Lucas grimaced and added, "But she's still your wife, and she loves you."

"You're right, Buddy. You know what, Lucas? You are pretty grown up," Nolan affirmed.

"Yeah, I know," Lucas agreed confidently. "Call me anytime," he offered as Nolan smiled and silently laughed to himself.

After finishing the call, Nolan threw on his rain coat and walked around the dark neighborhood to clear his mind. The misty chill of the drizzling rain lessened the intensity weighing on his shoulders and refreshed him. When he returned to the house, he grabbed a nearby dishtowel to stop the drips coming from his hair as he called his wife.

"Hi," Lissa answered sleepily yet with happiness.

"Hey, Blondie," Nolan responded slowly and warmly. "I miss you."

"I miss you," she repeated tenderly. "It's late there… what time is it? Midnight?"

"Yeah," Nolan confirmed. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, but that's fine. What a great way to start the day," she gently shared as she stood and rubbed her ever-expanding bump.

"Is now a good time to talk?" he inquired.

As she began preparing coffee, she answered, "Sure. Are you ok, Trems?"

"Yeah…" he replied. "I want to fill you in on what's been happening." Nolan proceeded to describe his decision about taking a leave of absence. He mentioned the discussion with the Dean and the multitude of job offers, then added that he was leaning toward an opportunity in Seattle. His concluding words were magical for Lissa, "What do you think?"

"I think," she laughed softly, "I'm touched by you asking for my input. Thank you, Nole."

"You're the one I love and trust the most," Nolan shared from his heart, inspired by Lucas' wisdom.

"Honestly, I like the idea of staying here. We have enough changes hitting us all at once. Are you sure the job here is something you want to do?" Lissa wondered.

"It's a great offer. One of the airlines is looking for a financial economist. There will be some travel, but I'd be in Seattle most of the time. It's an excellent place to start out," he explained as his enthusiasm for the position grew. "I also have a couple other leads in Seattle that I could consider."

"Then come home now," Lissa giggled.

"One more week in the term, then I'm outta here. I'll be home around the 16th – it's going to take a few days to pack up and ship everything," he detailed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

After visiting many lots and test driving ten bikes, Ryder fell in love with a red and black, fully loaded Honda NC700X. Thrilled with his selection, he couldn't wait to show it off. He sent a text to Julie, asking if he could stop by her house. He'd announced he had a surprise – not _for_ her but to show her.

Sitting on the front porch as she awaited Ryder's arrival, Julie thumbed through a magazine. She heard a motorcycle approaching from afar but didn't think much of it. Soon, it was in her driveway. When she peered at the site, the driver, dressed in biker leathers, was revving the engine with glee. He turned it off and pulled off his helmet to reveal an ear to ear grin of pure bliss.

Julie howled with laughter as she approached the bike, "What have you done, RB?"

"Pretty phenomenal, huh?" he boasted. He broadened his chest and questioned, "Which looks better – me or the bike?"

Continuing to laugh, Julie shook her head. His latest adventure streak didn't impress her but it did intrigue her. Ryder seemed determined to redefine his reputation to that of complete and utter rebel with a wallet. She gazed at him from head to toe, stopping playfully at his waist. "Hmm…" she sounded with a giggle and sarcastically responded, "both breathtaking."

Ryder raised his eyebrows and grinned, "Of course." He opened the storage area and pulled out an extra helmet. "Ready?" he inquired.

"You think I'm climbing on there with you?" she smiled.

"Why not?" he retorted, incredulous.

"Let's see… first off, you're… well… you're _you_. Secondly, my dad would kill me," she chuckled.

"He doesn't have to know," Ryder shrugged. "Besides, you're 18. You're an adult. Too afraid to make your own choices, Daddy's little girl?" He knew what buttons to press. Like a guy, Julie could take just about any insult thrown at her. But if someone dared to suggest she was afraid, she'd nearly always rise to the occasion.

"No," she giggled uncomfortably as she lied to his face.

Walking toward her with the helmet in hand, Ryder grinned. As he put the helmet on her, he promised with reassurance, "Jules… I'd never put you in danger. You know that. How about a ride around the block?"

She nodded affirmatively and warned, "Don't do anything stupid, Ryder."

"You are my best friend, Julia," he swore. "You're safe."

She tentatively climbed on the bike and he showed her where to rest her feet, adding, "Now wrap your arms around my waist. Hold me tight – just like in your fantasies."

"You are such a jackass, Hunt," Julie declared as she snuggled closely behind him.

"Just let those dreams come to life, baby… that's all I'm saying," he quipped as he took in the sensation of her body against his and tried to memorize the feeling of her arms holding on tightly.


	68. Chapter 68 - The Wait is Over

**Chapter 68**

 **An Imperfect Life – The Wait is Over**

 **March 15**

In the late afternoon on the 15th, the Shepherd-Hunt family gathered for Molly's birthday. Everyone but Ryder was present. His absence was the elephant in the room. Everyone pasted smiles on their faces and attempted to focus on Molly and her charm; however, Ryder's absence was noticeable.

The early spring day provided sunshine and warmth, which balanced out the recent rain. Nolan had flown in from England a few days earlier than he'd anticipated and was thrilled to host his family in the home Lissa had worked so hard to decorate while he was way. He had accepted the position at the airline and had negotiated a start date of May 1. Before that day, he planned to spend every moment possible with his growing family.

Olivia and Anna danced in the front yard while Lucas and Ria coaxed Owen and Nolan to join them in a soccer match. Nolan, who had barely let Molly out of his sight since he returned, played while holding his little girl. Meanwhile, Amelia and Lissa sat in Adirondack chairs and chatted.

Stretching to reach her lemonade, Lissa laughed as she pointed out, "I hope Nolan's planning on hosting this entire event. Sitting in this chair wasn't a wise idea. I'm pretty sure I'm stuck here."

With a giggle, Amelia offered, "I'm sure if we team up, Owen, Nolan and I can extricate you." A comfortable silence passed as the two gazed at the girls and Amelia added, "Do you miss dancing?"

"All the time," Lissa mused. "But then I imagine myself trying on a tutu or leotard and all those dreams fly out the window."

As the two laughed, Amelia noticed Lissa squirm and grimace. She recalled how the end of pregnancy was uncomfortable and chose not to comment. Again, the two said nothing as they watched the others play. Owen, about to throw the ball inbounds to Lucas, glanced over and winked.

With Nolan ready to guard him and Lucas far from ready to receive, Owen very gently tapped the ball on Molly's head. "Can you sub in, Miss Molly?" he questioned.

"Mo," she begged as she leaned her head toward her papa. Again, he tapped the ball on her head.

She reached up to try and grab it, but her daddy coached, "No hands, Mol. Head and feet. You want to kick it?" She kicked her feet on either side and Nolan bent down. He set her feet on the ground and held her hands as she stood. Owen placed the ball in front of her and both the men encouraged her to kick it. Looking at them with joy and anticipation, Molly stood and giggled. "Grab her leg, Dad, and show her," Nolan prompted.

"Here, Molly, like this. See how Papa kicks it. You try," Owen encouraged as he modeled the instructions. Molly widened her eyes and ensured that she had an audience. Owen coached as he showed her, "Move your foot back and kick the ball with this part of your foot."

With a tentative step, Molly grasped harder onto Nolan's hands and attempted to kick. The ball moved about two inches forward and all of the adults celebrated with glee. Over and over, Owen and Nolan attempted to teach Molly the basics of soccer. Meanwhile, Lucas and Ria lost interest in the match. Ria went to join the dancers and Lucas played fetch with the dogs. When they barked in anticipation of his throw, Molly would bark too.

With Molly on his shoulders, Owen checked in with the dancers. He bent over and held Molly's hands so she could join in the dancing. Nolan headed over to his wife and handed her a refill of lemonade before kissing her repeatedly. "It's so good to be home," he whispered as he rested his nose against hers.

"Da!" Molly hollered as Nolan and Lissa momentarily lost themselves in one another. "Da!" she repeated loudly as she stood by Papa.

Nolan gazed out of the corner of his eye and exclaimed with celebratory shock, "Liss – she's standing!"

"Look at you!" Lissa cried happily and clapped. She gazed over at Amelia and shared sadly, "She's barely a baby anymore."

"Way too fast… they grow up so, so quickly," Amelia mused as she thought about the little eight-year-old with perpetual bedhead who wasn't present. She hadn't spoken to him in a couple weeks and had only exchanged one text in that time. After reminding him about the birthday party, she sent a text to confirm he would attend. His response was a quick and simple, _Will try._

Lissa attempted to leave the chair, finding herself unable to stand. After calling Nolan's name, he came over and scooped her up by placing one arm on her back and the other under her knees. He lifted her out of the chair and joked, "I'm not doing that for you all day, Mama." As she found her footing, Lissa leaned her head onto Nolan's chest and then took in a small gasp.

Nolan quickly placed his arm on her bump and checked, "Are you ok, Babe?"

With a shake of the head, Lissa dismissed the moment. "Just a Braxton-Hicks. They've been happening more often."

"Are you sure it's not a contraction?" he fretted. Amelia witnessed the interaction and attempted to figure out if Lissa was in the early stages of labor.

"You worry too much," Lissa smiled as she moved toward the snack table and refilled a few of the bowls.

Nolan caught Amelia's eye and inquired, "Do I?"

"Hard to say," Amelia commented. "It could be either. We're all here and the hospital is close. Everything will be fine either way."

"Gama, did you see me standing all by myself?!" Owen babytalked as he brought Molly over.

"I did! Hi Standing Girl. You're so big," Amelia celebrated as she stretched her arms up high. Molly imitated the motion, but then became distracted by the dogs. They were jumping on top of one another and fighting for the ball. Molly declared with a point, "No."

"Where has she heard that word?" Nolan honestly wondered. Lissa was determined to avoid using that word as much as possible and focused instead on redirecting.

"Pretty common word, Nole," Owen quipped.

"But we don't say it," he emphasized. He leaned over toward his parents and mumbled, "Believe me, if I use that word, I'm sleeping with Barks and Bogey. Completely not allowed."

With a quick and loud cry, Lissa grabbed her bump and hollered, "No"… or maybe it was "oh." Nolan wasn't positive. Either way, he ran to her.

"Blondie…" he consoled as he wrapped his arm around his wife.

"My back," she winced. "I dunno… I just bent down and it cramped."

"I'm calling the doctor," Nolan insisted.

"Nolan, stop," she challenged. "Just give me a second." She looked around for a chair and spotted the picnic table. "Let me sit over there. I'm sure this is nothing."

With hesitation, he helped Lissa to the table. After she sat down, Nolan suggested that cake time had arrived. Lissa agreed and everyone gathered around the table. Owen buckled Molly into her high chair and set up the tray. She oohed and aahed at the icing balloons on her cake.

Just as they were about to sing, Ryder and Julie drove up on his motorcycle. He'd kept it a secret since purchasing it and decided that a public event was the best time to make the news known. His parents were less likely to scream in front of others, he reasoned.

"Who's that?" Owen questioned with furrowed brows, bothered by the interruption.

The motorcycle stopped and Ryder pulled off his helmet and Ria burst out with joy, "It's Ryder! Daddy! Daddy! It's Ryder!"

"So it is," Owen grumbled under his breath as he caught Amelia's stunned eyes.

The Littles all ran to their brother and admired his motorcycle. They hugged Julie and celebrated her arrival.

"Can I sit on it?" Lucas begged.

Seeing Owen coming near with a highly forced grin, Ryder promised, "Later, Little Dude."

"C'mon back over, kids," Owen encouraged. The Littles ran back to the table as Owen embraced Julie with a smile. "It's great to see you. How have you been?"

"Good," she chirped quickly and uncomfortably, sensing the tension between Ryder and Owen. She handed Ryder her helmet and headed toward the table, apologizing that they were late. She offered Molly a little gift bag and gave Lissa and Amelia hugs.

"Motorcycle, huh?" Owen muttered, forcing himself not to react.

"It's a blast," Ryder grinned as he attached his helmet to the bike and took off his leather jacket. "You should give it a try later, Dad."

"I don't think so," Owen scoffed as kindly as possible.

"Baby Bear," Amelia exclaimed with watery eyes as Ryder approached the table. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tightly.

"Hey, Mama," Ryder offered briefly as he returned the hug half-heartedly. He peeked down and whispered to her, "Why are you teary?"

"I really, really miss you," she admitted quietly while holding back tears.

Ryder smirked and reassured her, "I'm here, now Mom." He patted her back and headed toward Molly. "Monster Adventure Girl!" he called out. Molly reacted by clapping her hands and begging to be held. "You're all locked up, Baby," Ryder pointed out as he hugged Lissa from the side. "I'll hold you after cake."

"Up," Molly begged. "Up."

"In a minute, Munchkin. In a minute," Ryder reassured her as he sat next to Lissa. He looked around and noticed he'd become the center of attention. He shifted in his seat and offered, "Didn't mean to interrupt… bad timing. I'm sorry."

"We're glad you're here," Nolan declared with reassurance. The candle was lit and _Happy Birthday_ was sung. When the group encouraged Molly to blow out the candle, she reached for it instead. Lissa leaned over and quickly blew it out, clapping and celebrating to try to prevent a surprised cry from her daughter. With confusion, Molly looked around and witnessed everyone happily celebrating.

While everyone ate their cake, Lissa leaned over to Ryder. Nolan was at the other end of the table and she'd have to yell to get his attention. "Ryder? Can you help me?" she asked quietly.

"Sure. What's up?" Ryder responded as he filled his mouth with a second piece of cake.

Lissa couldn't decide if she should tell him the whole truth: her water had just broken. Concerned he might panic or be loud, she whispered, "I need help standing up. I… I need to run into the house."

After wiping his mouth with a napkin, Ryder stood and offered his hand to Lissa. She grabbed it tightly, attempting to transfer the pain of a contraction to him, and took a huge breath. Slowly working her way to standing with Ryder's help, Lissa began walking toward the house. As if an alarm had sounded, Nolan peeked up and saw his wife. He calmly approached her with a gentle word, "Babe?"

"Have your mom come inside, Trems," Lissa requested as she walked with closed eyes and Ryder's guiding support.

"Larissa…" Nolan spoke in an inquiring tone.

"My water broke," she shared as she tightened her closed eyes and reached out for her husband.

"No problem, no problem. I'm right here," Nolan reassured her. He looked up and commanded, "Ry – get Mom." Ryder nodded and jogged over to Amelia. He whispered in her ear as Owen looked on. Amelia nodded to Owen, communicating silently and proceeded toward the house casually.

Owen kept the kids focused on the cake and celebration, quietly stating with praise, "Thanks, Ryder. Great work, Son." Those were the first words Ryder had heard from his father since he'd moved out. He tried to avoid eye contact as he smirked uncomfortably.

In the bathroom, Lissa insisted Nolan let her lie on the tile. Amelia knocked softly and proceeded inside.

"Amma…" Lissa groaned as another contraction arose. "It hurts."

Nodding her head and pursing her lips, Amelia confessed, "It's going to hurt more, honey. We need to get you over to the hospital." Amelia palpated Lissa's baby bump and placed her hand over Lissa's heart. Without a stethoscope, actual vitals were impossible to gather. However, Lissa's heart was pounding and her uterus was tightly contracting.

Overwhelmed and crying, Lissa held on to Nolan's forearm and her head rested on his leg, "But it's Molly's birthday party."

Adding an eye roll to his smile, Nolan glanced at his mom. He gently ran his fingers through Lissa's hair and pulled it away from her face. Amelia firmly but gently stated, "Larissa… let's get you to the hospital." Looking at Nolan, she asked, "Do you have a bag packed yet? For the hospital?"

Nolan shook his head. Just before the party, he and Lissa had talked about getting a bag ready. Lissa laughed as they considered their options, insisting there was still plenty of time before the due date.

Amelia mouthed, _No problem_. "Lissa, honey, I'll be right back," she promised as she stood. Owen had sent Olivia to sit near the bathroom in case Amelia needed anything. As soon as Amelia saw Livie, she sighed with relief. "Livs, I need you to stay calm. Very slowly go out to Dad and tell him to pull a car around. Then tell Julie and Ryder to come here while you stay with the Littles and Molly.

With a hint of fear, Olivia questioned, "Mom, is Lissa okay?"

With a tight mouthed grin, Amelia nodded, "Yeah. She's okay." As her smile widened, she announced, "She's going to have the baby… now, remember, calm and quiet. We don't need everyone rushing in here."

Olivia did as she was told. Owen responded immediately to Olivia's message, pulling the van around. He honked when he was ready for Lissa. Ryder and Julie sat in the Living Room waiting for instructions.

Explaining with a grimace, Amelia offered Lissa a towel, "Put this between your legs and hold onto it as best as you can. I know it's weird and awkward, but it'll work." Lissa nodded and Nolan helped her with the towel. Amelia further instructed, "Now as soon as the next contraction subsides, Nolan and I will help you stand up and we'll get you to the car."

"Will it hurt?" Lissa whined. "The tile feels nice."

"I'll grab an ice pack. First, let's get to the car," Amelia ordered. When the trio passed Ryder and Julie, Amelia called out, "Grab an ice pack and bring it to the car."

As Nolan and Amelia helped Lissa to the car, Owen stood at the open van sliding door. Ryder ran out with an ice pack and agreed Amelia's request that he and Julie take care of all the kids.

After reassuring her and helping her sit down, Owen offered, "Five minute drive, Larissa. Just five minutes. Nolan's right here next to you."

Nolan wrapped his arms around Lissa and she leaned her head against his chest, whispering, "Is it supposed to hurt this much so early?"

After gently kissing her forehead and stroking her hair, Nolan confessed, "I don't know, Shorty."

In the front seat, Amelia called the ER. Then she and Owen communicated through doctor-speak. "Bright red show," Amelia informed him. He frowned in response, knowing that could mean that Lissa was well-dilated.

"How many centimeters?" he asked.

"I didn't check. I probably should have, but…" Amelia began

"I get it," he interrupted, imagining how awkward it would be to examine his daughter-in-law. "Abruption?" he wondered.

"Needs rule out," Amelia shared in code. Owen nodded as he pulled into the ambulance bay. Arizona and Karev were standing outside waiting.

When the van stopped, Arizona opened the sliding door and announced, "No bullets, people." She gazed down at Lissa with a bright smile and announced, "Let's have a baby, Lissa."

Lissa grabbed Robbins' hand and explained, "The pain is really intense."

"I'll take a look at that. One step at a time," Arizona grinned. She caught Nolan's eye and explained, "You can come in, Dad, but you need to be gowned up."

"I'll take you," Owen offered as he led Nolan to the gowns and showed him how to gown up.

"I'll be with her," Amelia promised as a nurse gowned and gloved her as they wheeled Lissa to a trauma room.

Quickly, Arizona called out a series of orders. "Start an IV. Cross and match. Get a urine if you can. Portable ultrasound. Let's get a contraction monitor going and hook Mom up, too." She leaned down to Lissa and reassured her, "I know everything seems to be moving fast. We're here, Larissa. I need to check some labs and do a brief exam. Are you holding up?"

Lissa, her hair now in a cap, nodded. "Where's Nolan?"

Both doctors and three nurses simultaneously reassured her, "On his way."

"Can I check dilation, Lissa?" Arizona sought consent. Lissa nodded. Arizona placed her hand under a sheet and subtly examined her. As if reporting the score of a game on TV last time she'd passed through the lobby, Arizona announced casually, "Eight."

"Eight?" Lissa sought to confirm. "Eight?! Isn't ten when I start pushing?"

"Let's stay focused right here and right now," Arizona encouraged. She caught Amelia's eye and slowly edged her head in Lissa's direction. "Amelia's right here, Lissa. She's going to hold your hand and stand right next to you."

"Stay focused on me. Wait until Nolan comes in all gowned up – it'll be quite the silly sight," Amelia quipped as she attempted to lighten the mood.

Lissa tried to laugh before asking, "Is everything ok? This isn't how it's described in the books, Amma."

"I know," Amelia pursed her lips. "The doctor is checking some details. The nice part of L&D is that answers come fast. If you were in my OR, you'd be stuck there for hours." Lissa smiled as she squeezed Amelia's hand.

After concluding the ultrasound, Arizona determined that the placenta was intact and that the baby was in position. Rather than being rushed to an OR, Lissa would head to a birthing room. "Let's take the patient up to maternity STAT," Arizona ordered. "Contractions are steady and strong – 40 seconds every 3 minutes. Baby's heartrate within normal range."

"That's all reassuring news," Amelia explained as she grasped Lissa's hand. Just as the elevator doors began to close, Owen forced them to stay open and nudged Nolan inside.

"I'll be waiting to hear," Owen smiled. Amelia nodded and smiled, quickly reassuring him that all was well.

"Hi, Shorty," Nolan sighed with relief upon seeing her. Prepared to follow the medical team into the OR, Nolan was gloved, robed and masked. He had covers on his shoes and a cap on his head.

"Amma says it's all good news, Trems," Lissa reported as a contraction began to arise. Arizona coached Lissa through it, encouraging her to breathe deeply and slowly.

Nolan winced as he watched his wife face the pain. He advocated, "Can she have anything for the pain?"

Arizona explained. "Does she want pain relief? When we spoke about it at her last appointment, she was undecided."

With gritted teeth and the ferocity of a Mama Lion, Lissa growled, "Yes, I want it. I want it now, and stop talking about me like I'm not here."

Patting Lissa's shoulder, Amelia chuckled and observed, "There's the bold Lissa I've been waiting to see."

"Labor's progressed. We can try to find an anesthesiologist. Sometimes they aren't readily available," Arizona explained as the elevator door opened and they wheeled Lissa to her room.

Two Labor and Delivery nurses were waiting in the room. Like a swarm of bees, their hands connected monitors and measured vitals. While one positioned Lissa on the bed and showed Nolan where to stand, the other mentioned that she would be checking dilation.

"Eight… maybe eight and a half," the nurse reported to Arizona.

"Let's try to get an anesthesiologist in here," the doctor ordered. She turned to Amelia and inquired directly, "Are you staying to coach or joining Owen?"

Not having been asked to stay, Amelia pulled her head back and blinked her eyes. "I'm… out." She put her hands on Nolan's cheeks and kissed him, then leaned down and hugged Lissa. "I love you both." She gently set her hand on the bump and whispered, "See you soon, little one." Once in the hallway, Amelia had to check the signs to find the waiting area.

When she approached Owen, who was waiting alone and sitting with his forearms on his knees, he looked up with anticipation.

"She's doing well," Amelia smiled reassuringly. "Almost ready to push and begging for an epidural."

With a gentle chuckle, Owen stood and hugged his wife. "I was worried about that blood."

Still embracing, Amelia agreed, "Me too. Everything escalated so quickly." Pulling back, Amelia kissed him and squeezed his hands. "How bad is the van?"

Laughing, he admitted, "Not bad. Not bad at all."

"You could've brought her here in the Boxster after all, huh?" she teased.

Owen smiled, "Uh…yeah." He shook his head and flipped, "No. Definitely no."

As the doctors waited, they enjoyed the opportunity to casually chat. So often, time was limited and their conversations were via text or spoken in short phrases as they passed one another in the hallway. They shared their hunches about the baby's hair color and Molly's possible reactions to the baby.

"I've been thinking about a big shift," Amelia admitted.

Misunderstanding, Owen gathered his brows and tried to clarify, "A big shift? Do you have a significant surgery coming up?"

With a chuckle, Amelia explained, "Sorry. I've been thinking about taking a break from surgery and stepping back."

"What kind of break?" Owen inquired, concerned about staffing from the Chief's perspective.

"Teaching. I'd still be around, just not at weird hours," she further explained. Owen nodded slightly and shrugged. She continued, "The kids are growing up so fast. Lucas is eight. _Eight._ We have a handful of granddaughters. I want more family time."

"Let's make that happen," Owen grinned. "You have to follow your heart, Mia."

As Amelia began to respond, a nurse interrupted, "Doctors? Dr. Mabry asked me to find you."

"Is there a problem?" Owen asked, wondering why the OB would seek them out.

"The baby that your son and daughter-in-law are adopting… the mother is here. She's in labor," the nurse disclosed. "The baby's heartrate is steady and the mother is stable."

With a smile, Owen asked, "Does my son know?"

"Not yet. Dr. Mabry suggested I check with you first – he heard Mrs. Tremblay-Hunt is in labor. He wasn't sure if now was the best time to tell them."

"Could you slip a note to Dr. Robbins? She'll have a better sense of that," Amelia requested. She turned to Owen and shook her head. Placing one set of fingers facing down on top of the other facing up, she grappled with the situation, "We have biological twins born on different days. Nolan will have non-biological twins born on the same day."

"Only in our family," Owen kidded.

Nolan, now wearing a gown but no mask or gloves, stepped into the waiting area. His parents anxiously waited to hear him announce that the baby had been born. Instead, he stated, "Molly's bio mom is in labor down the hall."

"We heard," Owen nodded.

"Lissa wants me to check on her. Is that appropriate?" he wondered aloud.

"I can go with you to ask Dr. Mabry. It probably depends on the mother's wishes," Owen offered.

"Mom, can you stay with Lissa while I'm gone? She's really hurting," Nolan requested.

Amelia stepped into Lissa's room and washed her hands. Throwing on a gown, Amelia approached her daughter-in-law and commented, "If there was a way to describe the pain, women would never become pregnant."

Her latest contraction had just eased and the next one had not begun. Lissa looked up and smiled, "Truth."

"Ice?" Amelia offered. Lissa nodded and savored the ice chips, thankful for the cool temperature and liquid.

"We're waiting on the epidural guy," Lissa explained. "If he doesn't get here soon, I'm screwed." She breathed in slowly as a contraction began and attempted to remain focused on her breathing. Once it passed, she mentioned to the nurse, "That one wasn't as bad."

"It was a teaser," the nurse smiled.

Meanwhile, Molly's bio mom happily welcomed Nolan into her room. Not yet in transition, she was resting fairly comfortably. She invited him in and Nolan tentatively extended his hand and introduced himself.

"I'm Janie," she responded.

"I've never done this before," Nolan chuckled, referring to meeting the bio mother. "My wife asked me to check on you. Do you have everything you need?"

"That's so kind," the mother praised. "How is she? How's Molly?"

"Beautiful. Funny. Playful… and a bit headstrong," Nolan joked as he reached for his phone and found a few pictures to show her. "This was just before we headed over here. She thought the cake was amazing." As he observed Janie gazing at the picture wistfully, Nolan recognized the beautiful brown eyes that often fixated on him. "She has your eyes and mouth," he observed.

"She does," the Mom confirmed. She grasped Nolan's hand and offered, "I've made a mess of my life. These girls are my only positive contribution to the world. Thank you for being their father. I'm really grateful they have a loving family."

Choked up, Nolan pursed his lips. Returning to the original subject, he queried, "Do you have everything you need, Janie?"

"Dr. Mabry is a fine doctor and the nurses have been kind to me," she commented indirectly.

"Are you allowed to have a birth coach? Is someone here to be with you once labor progresses?" the upper class man inquired naively.

"Not a benefit in the prison insurance plan," she kidded with a smile.

"My parents are doctors," Nolan commented. "If you'd like, they could…"

Interrupting, she quickly begged, "Oh, please. If the guard and the doctor would allow it. Yes, please."

A nurse popped her head in and offered, "Mr. Tremblay Hunt, it's time."

"I guess I need to go," Nolan smiled, thankful to have met Janie. Janie smiled and nodded.

Panting and trying to focus on breathing deeply, Lissa was relieved to see Nolan. In the midst of a contraction, she was unable to speak. Reading her mind, Nolan shared, "Janie - that's her name – she's doing well." Lissa nodded as she reached out for his hand.

"We're going to start pushing, Lissa," Arizona announced. The nurse helped Lissa reposition and told Nolan that he was tasked with supporting her back and cooling her with a washcloth. He explained that they'd been through the process before. He crawled onto the bed and sat behind his wife, wrapping his legs on either side of her.

Nolan gently kissed Lissa's neck and whispered, "You are amazing." He hated that the anesthesiologist hadn't arrived in time to provide some relief and wished he could bear the pain on her behalf. In moments of suffering, Nolan shined. He was her rock.

"I'm not going to whine," Lissa announced with determination. "I can do this."

Nolan held back a chuckle and responded, "You can. I know you can."

True to her promise, Lissa moaned but did not say a word. With great fortitude, she made the most of every push and collapsed onto Nolan's chest between each one. By force of will, Lissa was determined to face the pain and fulfill her goal. Within half an hour, the last push occurred and the baby emerged crying. Handing him the scissors, Arizona encouraged Nolan to reach over and cut the cord. She was a healthy and active baby with a perfect APGAR. The second she was placed on her mama's chest, she calmed down.

With thin red curls and plenty of hair, the little baby attempted to focus on her parents as they spoke to her. Both crying, they agreed she was breathtaking. Reluctantly, the nurse picked up the baby to weigh her and wrap her up. "I promise I'll bring her right back," she smiled.

Nolan followed the nurse and the baby as he snapped pictures of his 6 pound, 5 ounce baby girl. Lissa's hopes had come true – the baby was a mere 17 inches. Once she was dressed and wrapped in a blanket, the nurse handed her to Nolan. He kissed her and carried her over to Larissa.

"You did it, Mama," he whispered with glee. "I'm so proud of you."

She received the baby into her arms and attempted to nurse her. The medical assistant helped her position the baby and showed her how to help the baby latch on. Within seconds, the baby took in her first meal. After staring at the baby with wonder, Lissa caught Nolan's eye. "She has your mom's hair."

Silently and tearfully, Nolan nodded and offered a soft grin. He gently stroked the baby's cheek with a finger as he brought his forehead against Lissa's.

Lissa proposed, "Emily Kay. Kay for your mom."

"I love it," Nolan readily agreed. "Hey, Emmy, I wish your grandma could see you. She'd be crying happy tears." Strangely, Clarisse didn't enter either Lissa's or Nolan's consciousness. Her presence and memory had faded drastically.

Meanwhile, down the hall, Owen and Amelia coached Janie through labor. Their encouragement was a pure gift to Janie, and being present at their granddaughter's birth was a gift to Owen and Amelia. The labor progressed steadily and soon, Amelia was holding the baby who had Molly's eyes and cheeks. Born on her due date, the baby weighed 8 pounds 10 ounces and measured 21 inches. Janie asked not to hold or see the baby, so the nurse led Owen and Amelia down the hall. The plan had been made to take the baby to Lissa and Nolan as soon as possible.

As they walked toward the room, Amelia cooed, "Hey, Sweet Girl." Owen wrapped his arm around his wife and touched the baby's chin, stating, "Welcome to the world."

The nurses in the hallway had shared that Lissa had given birth and was ready for the second baby. Amelia knocked quietly before sliding into the room. She announced in a joyful whisper, "Special delivery."

Nolan approached and embraced his third daughter, attempting to soak in the surreal day. "At least I'll never forget their birthday," he quipped, realizing all three girls were born on March 15. He motioned Owen and Amelia toward the bed and introduced them to Emily.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Nolan traded babies with Lissa and wondered, "What's her name, Liss?"

"Elizabeth Caroline," Lissa cooed as she admired and kissed her baby whose head was full of light, wavy brown hair.

"Emily Kay and Elizabeth Caroline," Nolan repeated softly as he sunk into a state of bliss.

Owen and Amelia slid out of the room subtly, leaving the parents and babies time to bond.

"Congratulations, Papa," Amelia praised, "You were a fantastic coach."

Leaning down and kissing the top of her head, Owen responded, "You were pretty amazing, yourself, Mama Mia."

"You've never called me that before," Amelia smiled coyly as her eyes gazed up at him.

With a gentle shrug, Owen replied, "It tumbled out. I'm not sure where it came from."

Amelia grasped Owen's hand and placed it below her belly button, emphasizing, "Right here. It came from right here."

Not clear, Owen lowered his brows and smiled slightly. Widening her mouth as her teeth came together, Amelia nodded her head.

"What?" Owen stammered, not sure if he understood what she was trying to say.

"Seven… I've heard it's a lucky number," she sang as she widened her eyes and raised her shoulders like a little girl.

He smiled widely and affirmed softly, "Seven it is."

 _ **The End**_


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